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Stand-up transcripts

Matt Rife: Natural Selection (2023)

Matt Rife: Natural Selection (2023) | Transcript

Matt Rife: Natural Selection is a stand-up comedy special by American comedian Matt Rife. It was filmed at the DAR Constitution Hall in Washington, D.C. and premiered on Netflix on November 15, 2023.

Eddie Izzard: Force Majeure Live (2013)

Eddie Izzard: Force Majeure Live (2013) | Transcript

Force Majeure (French) (pronounced: fors mah-ZHur), “superior force”, “chance occurrence, unavoidable accident”: 2 years and 27 countries, Force Majeure Live was filmed during Eddie’s mammoth 2013/2014 tour and takes you on a truly hilarious journey, offering a rare glimpse in to the mind of the master of surrealism.

Marlon Wayans: You Know What It Is (2021)

Marlon Wayans: You Know What It Is (2021) | Transcript

Marlon explores his fears onstage, including the greatest one that is the realization that his bad decisions are what tore his family apart, and he sums up his way through self-awareness with the phrase “You know what it is.”

Kyle Kinane: Whiskey Icarus (2012)

Kyle Kinane: Whiskey Icarus (2012) | Transcript

In his first hour-long Comedy Central special, Kyle Kinane contemplates the existence of God, and the true meaning of being delivered an unsliced pizza. This special is extended and uncensored with all sorts of extra Kyle.

Kyle Kinane: Loose in Chicago (2016)

Kyle Kinane: Loose in Chicago (2016) | Transcript

Kyle Kinane talks about why his girlfriend doesn’t need to worry about him cheating, reveals the whitest thing he’s ever said, and explains why you have to keep fashion in mind if you insist on carrying a gun.

Mae Martin: SAP (2023)

Mae Martin: SAP (2023) | Transcript

[fire crackling] [pensive instrumental music playing] [gasps] Oh! Jesus! Mamma mia, Mae! Jeez! Hey. Sorry. [sighs] Marshmallow? Uh… No, I’m good. Rubber band? Sure, I’ll

Marc Maron: Thinky Pain

Marc Maron: Thinky Pain (2013) | Transcript

Marc Maron returns to his old stomping grounds for an intimate special in which he takes stock of himself. More than ever, Maron is raw and hilariously honest as he dissects his own neuroses and self-loathing while providing outrageous anecdotes from his personal life, in which he starts to realize the hurt isn’t real, it’s just “Thinky Pain.”

Chelsea Handler: Evolution (2020)

Chelsea Handler: Evolution (2020) | Transcript

Chelsea Handler is back and better than ever – and not just because she started going to therapy and consuming cannabis. Marking her much-anticipated return to stand-up after six years

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