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George Carlin at USC (1977)

GEORGE CARLIN AT USC (1977) – Full Transcript

George Carlin's first ever comedy special, filmed live at the University of Southern California. Here, he talks about monopoly, flying on planes, random thoughts, walking, and other things
Jim Norton: Mouthful of Shame (2017)

JIM NORTON: MOUTHFUL OF SHAME (2017) Full Transcript

In this unrestricted jaunt, comic Jim Norton offers a personal perspective on romance, desire, and sexual proclivities.
Michael Che Matters

MICHAEL CHE MATTERS (2016) – Full Transcript

"Saturday Night Live" star Michael Che takes on hot-button topics like inequality, homophobia and gentrification in this stand-up set filmed live in Brooklyn
Joe Rogan: Triggered

JOE ROGAN: TRIGGERED (2016) – Full Transcript

Unleashing his inquisitive, intense comedic style, Rogan explores everything from raising kids and Santa Claus to pot gummies and talking to dolphins
Trevor Noah - Lost in Translation (2015)

TREVOR NOAH: LOST IN TRANSLATION (2015) – Full Transcript

Noah addresses major domestic and international events of the past year, sharing his outlook on the world today, including terrorism, racial tensions in America and what it was like being African and traveling into the United States during the Ebola crisis.
Maria Bamford - Old Baby (2017)

MARIA BAMFORD: OLD BABY (2017) – Full transcript

Maria Bamford performs a rapid-fire, playful stand-up set for crowds at park benches, bowling alleys and LA theaters in this roving comedy special.
Bo Burnham

BO BURNHAM: WHAT (2013) – Full Transcript

Bo What? Old MacDonald had a farm E I E I O And on that farm he had a pig E I E I...
Bo Burnham - Make Happy (2016)

BO BURNHAM: MAKE HAPPY (2016) – Full Transcript

'Make Happy' is a stand-up comedy routine by Bo Burnham which he performed live in 2015 and 2016; a recording of the show was released on Netflix on June 3, 2016. The show is a specifically choreographed performance which amalgamates comedy with music, and uses pre-recorded music, stage lighting effects and sound effects.
Anthony Jeselnik - Caligula

ANTHONY JESELNIK: CALIGULA (2013) – Full Transcript

Anthony Jeselnik brings his signature dark and twisted point of view to this special. He holds nothing back, routinely saying things most wouldn't ever dare. Anthony is not for the easily offended or humorless
Anthony Jeselnik - Thoughts and Prayers

ANTHONY JESELNIK: THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS (2015) – Full Transcript

There's no subject too dark as the comedian skewers taboos and riffs on national tragedies before pulling back the curtain on his provocative style
John Mulaney - The Comeback Kid

JOHN MULANEY: THE COMEBACK KID (2015) – Full Transcript

Armed with boyish charm and a sharp wit, the former "SNL" writer offers sly takes on marriage, his beef with babies and the time he met Bill Clinton
Bill Hicks

BILL HICKS: REVELATIONS (1993) – Full Transcript

This was Bill Hicks last recorded stand up routine performed at the London Dominion Theatre several months before his death in 1994
Lewis Black - Black to the Future (2016)

LEWIS BLACK: BLACK TO THE FUTURE (2016) – Full Transcript

Lewis Black meanders through anecdotes about a trip to Copenhagen (where it’s possible to be simultaneously Socialist and happy), a lactating German woman and mental-illness policies, and - just in time for the elections - he takes on Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton
Doug Stanhope

DOUG STANHOPE: BEFORE TURNING THE GUN ON HIMSELF (2012) – Transcript

Before Turning the Gun on Himself is the eighth stand-up comedy album by Doug Stanhope, released on November 6, 2012, by Roadrunner Records. It...
Doug Stanhope - Deadbeat Hero

DOUG STANHOPE: DEADBEAT HERO (2004) – Transcript

In "Deadbeat Hero," Stanhope tackles all of the most relevant and controversial issues of our times: Abortion, "liberty," war, whether blindly supporting the troops is a good thing, the drug war, the Alabama-Mississippi ban on dildos and other sex toys, gay marriage and priest molestations. More bizarre topics include two-head babies, his suicidal cat-lady mother, and more.
Jim Jefferies - Contaband

JIM JEFFERIES: CONTRABAND (2008) – Full Transcript

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Art theatre. Can you please go mental for, Jim Jefferies! How you all going? Welcome to the recording of...
Mike Birbiglia - Thank God for Jokes

MIKE BIRBIGLIA: THANK GOD FOR JOKES (2017) – Full Transcript

Comedian Mike Birbiglia takes the stage in Brooklyn and hits on hard truths about puppets, late people and the very real dangers of being funny.
Sarah Silverman A Speck of Dust

SARAH SILVERMAN: A SPECK OF DUST (2017) – Full Transcript

In her first comedy special post-health scare, Sarah Silverman shares a mix of fun facts, sad truths and yeah-she-just-went-there moments
George Carlin Playin with your head

GEORGE CARLIN: PLAYING WITH YOUR HEAD (1986) – Full Transcript

Recorded May 2–3, 1986, at the Beverly Theater in Los Angeles It started out like any other night. I was feeling good. I'd just put...
George Carlin - Phoenix

GEORGE CARLIN: AGAIN!* (1978) – Full Transcript

Performing at the Celebrity Star Theater in Phoenix on July 23, 1978, Carlin mesmerizes his audience in the second of his 12 HBO specials. The routines include: Death, Kids & Parents, Newscast #2, Time and Al Sleet, the Hippy-Dippy Weatherman
Louis CK -Chewed Up (2008)

LOUIS C.K.: CHEWED UP (2008) – Full Transcript

Transcript of 'Chewed Up', Louis C.K.'s second one-hour special filmed at the Berklee Performance Center in Boston, March 1, 2008
Louis C.K. - Saturday Night Live - Season 42 Episode 17

LOUIS C.K.: SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE S42E17 (2017) – Transcript

Host Louis C.K. calls out chickens for being racist and wonders if giraffes are amazed by their long necks
Mitch Hedberg

MITCH HEDBERG: COMEDY CENTRAL SPECIAL (1999) – Full Transcript

Mitch Hedberg's half-hour special on Comedy Central This is the uncut 37 minute version. Tonight from the Palace in Hollywood, California. Comedy Central Presents Mitch Hedberg! Thank...
Tom Segura - Completely Normal (2014)

TOM SEGURA: COMPLETELY NORMAL (2014) – Full Transcript

Levelheaded stand-up Tom Segura shares offhand appraisals on hotels and opens up about his hobbies and digestive ailments in this comedy special
Carlin on Campus

GEORGE CARLIN: CARLIN ON CAMPUS (1984) – Full Transcript

Full transcript of 'Carlin on Campus', 10th album and fourth HBO special by American comedian George Carlin recorded April 18–19, 1984
Louis CK - Live at the Beacon Theater

LOUIS C.K.: LIVE AT THE BEACON THEATRE (2011) – Full Transcript

Louis jokes about fatherhood, success, and flying first class at the Beacon Theatre in New York
George Carlin

GEORGE CARLIN: DOIN’ IT AGAIN (1990) – Transcript

George Carlin brings his comedy back to New Jersey and this time talks about Offensive Language, Euphemisms, They're Only Words, Dogs, Things you never hear, see or wanna hear, Some people are stupid, Cancer, Feminists, Good Ideas, Rape, Life's moments, and organ donors.
Ricky Gervais - Out of England 2 - The Stand-up Special

RICKY GERVAIS: OUT OF ENGLAND 2 (2010) – Full Transcript

Full transcript of HBO stand-up special 'Ricky Gervais: Out of England 2'. Recorded before a live audience at the Chicago Theatre in Chicago
Amy Schumer - The Leather Special (2017)

AMY SCHUMER: THE LEATHER SPECIAL (2017) – Full Transcript

Comic sensation Amy Schumer riffs on sex, dating and the absurdities of fame in a bold and uncensored stand-up set at Denver's Bellco Theater
Jim Gaffigan - Cinco (2017)

JIM GAFFIGAN: CINCO (2017) – Full Transcript

Full transcript of Jim Gaffigan's fifth Netflix original stand up special Cinco. Recorded at the Palace Theater in Columbus, Ohio
Jim Jefferies - I Swear to God

JIM JEFFERIES: I SWEAR TO GOD (2009) – Full Transcript

In this HBO special, 'I Swear to God', Jim Jefferies discusses religion and racism, his own family and childhood, the idiocy of no-smoking signs, sluts vs. studs, drugs and alcohol, and tells a very embarrassing story about what happened to him after purchasing some adult entertainment material
Louis CK - Hilarious

LOUIS C.K.: HILARIOUS (2010) – Full Transcript

In this unique and dynamic live concert experience, Louis C.K.'s exploration of life after 40 destroys politically correct images of modern life with thoughts we have all had...but would rarely admit to
Louis C.K.

LOUIS C.K.: SHAMELESS (2007) – Full Transcript

Please welcome Louis C.K.! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, thanks, that's very nice. Hello, everybody. How are ya? Woo! Good, thanks...
Bill Burr - I'm Sorry You Feel That Way (2014)

BILL BURR: I’M SORRY YOU FEEL THAT WAY (2014) – Full...

All right, thank you! Thank you very much! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. How are you? What's going on? Thank you. It's...
Bill Burr - You people are all the same

BILL BURR: YOU PEOPLE ARE ALL THE SAME (2012) – Full...

Ladies and gentlemen: Bill Burr! All right. Thank you! Thank you. Thank you, sir. How are ya? How's it going? All right....
Dave Chappelle

DAVE CHAPPELLE: FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH (2004) – Full Transcript

Chappelle lets loose on such topics as black celebrities, what it's like to have raunchy fans of his TV show approach him while he's trying to enjoy Disneyland with his kids, Michael Jackson, Kobe Bryant and crackheads, of course
Dave Chappelle

DAVE CHAPPELLE: KILLIN THEM SOFTLY (2000) – Full Transcript

Wooo! Ya'll gone make me lose my mind. Up in here! Up in here! Y'all gone make me throw her out. Up in here!...
Eddie Griffin - You Can Tell 'Em I Said It.jpg

EDDIE GRIFFIN: YOU CAN TELL ‘EM I SAID IT! (2011) –...

Ladies and gentlemen, The one and only, The emperor of comedy... Sir Eddie Griffin I want to fuck Michelle Obama. I need her on my...
Bill Burr - Walk Your Way Out (2017)

BILL BURR: WALK YOUR WAY OUT (2017) – Full Transcript

Netflix special filmed on October 21, 2016 at The Ryman Auditorium in Nashville
Louis C.K. Oh My God (2013)

LOUIS C.K.: OH MY GOD (2013) – Full Transcript

'Oh My God' is the fifth comedy special performed by Louis C.K.. It premiered on HBO on April 13, 2013. Filmed in Phoenix, Arizona at the Celebrity Theatre
Louis CK - Live at the Comedy Store (2015)

LOUIS C.K.: LIVE AT THE COMEDY STORE (2015) – Transcript

The comic puts his trademark hilarious/thought-provoking spin on finding a bat in his kitchen, seeing rats having sex, Boston accents and dead pets.
Bill Hicks

BILL HICKS: RELENTLESS (1992) – Transcript

Recorded in 1991 at the Centaur Theatre during the annual Just for Laughs Comedy Festival in Montreal, Canada
Daniel Tosh - Happy Thoughts (2011)

DANIEL TOSH: HAPPY THOUGHTS (2011) – Transcript

Daniel Tosh performs in front of a live San Francisco audience in this stand-up special for Comedy Central, and touches on topics ranging from sports and pop culture, to religion and politics
Patrice O'Neal - Elephant in the Room (2011)

PATRICE O’NEAL: ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM (2011) – Full Transcript

Full transcript of 'Elephant in the Room', stand up special by comedian Patrice O'Neal, released by Comedy Central. It premiered on February 19, 2011
Katt Williams

KATT WILLIAMS: LIVE (2006) – Full Transcript

(POLICE SIREN BLARING) (POLICE RADIO CHATTERING) (CROWD CLAMORING) CHRIS: Thank you. 100.9 the Wiz. Blazing hip hop and R and B. Jamming in the...
Richard Pryor - Live in Concert (1979)

RICHARD PRYOR: LIVE IN CONCERT (1979) – Full Transcript

Filmed in Long Beach, California on December 10, 1978 Richard Pryor: Thank you. Thank you....
Richard Pryor (1982) - Live on the Sunset Strip

RICHARD PRYOR: LIVE ON THE SUNSET STRIP (1982) – Full Transcript

Comedy legend Richard Pryor touches on all subjects, ranging from women to his trip to Africa, and even his scandalous past: the brothel run by his grandmother, his cocaine addiction, and the infamous incident in which he lit himself on fire.
Trevor Noah - Afraid of the Dark (2017)

TREVOR NOAH: AFRAID OF THE DARK (2017) – Full Transcript

The "Daily Show" host ponders the perils of naming countries, how traffic lights turn New Yorkers invincible and why you shouldn't drink in Scotland
Jim Jefferies - Bare (2014)

JIM JEFFERIES: BARE (2014) – Full Transcript

Nothing is sacred in this show from Australian comic Jim Jefferies, whether it’s the mother of his child, auditioning disabled actors, or gun control.
Dave Chappelle - Deep in the Heart of Texas (2017)

DAVE CHAPPELLE: DEEP IN THE HEART OF TEXAS (2017) – Full...

Chappelle gets real about racially charged run-ins, celebrity scandals and fatherly dilemmas in a searing stand-up set at Austin's Moody Theatre
Tom Segura - Mostly Stories (2016)

TOM SEGURA: MOSTLY STORIES (2016) – Full Transcript

Comedian Tom Segura savors wondrous strip-club names, basks in foul-mouthed heckling and shares life's dirty truths in an irreverent stand-up special
Bill Burr - Let It Go (2010)

BILL BURR: LET IT GO (2010) – Full transcript

Burr's special 'Let it Go', recorded at The Fillmore in San Francisco and premiered on Comedy Central on September 18, 2010
George Carlin - Jammin' In New York (1992)

GEORGE CARLIN: JAMMING IN NEW YORK (1992) – Testo italiano completo

Ciao, grazie. Grazie. Grazie. Grazie molte. Grazie. Grazie a tutti. Grazie a tutti. Grazie e un saluto a New York. Ciao New York e...
George Carlin

GEORGE CARLIN: YOU ARE ALL DISEASED (1999) – Testo italiano completo

Siete gentili, grazie! Grazie mille, lo apprezzo. Grazie mille, grazie a tutti, grazie! Lo apprezzo... Grazie, grazie... Allora, lasciate che vi chieda una cosa......
George Carlin - It's bad for ya

GEORGE CARLIN: IT’S BAD FOR YA! (2008) – Testo italiano completo

Grazie, grazie, grazie! Mi piacerebbe iniziare... Mi piacerebbe... grazie, grazie! Mi piacerebbe iniziare dicendo: affanculo Lance Armstrong! Affanculo lui e le sue palle e...
Jim Jefferies - Freedumb (2016)

JIM JEFFERIES: FREEDUMB (2016) – Full Transcript

Jim Jefferies talks about family life and challenges the idea of American freedom live on stage in Nashville, Tennessee
Eddie Murphy - Delirious (1983)

EDDIE MURPHY: DELIRIOUS (1983) – Full Transcript

Transcript of Eddie Murphy's 'Delirious', stand-up comedy HBO special released August 30, 1983.
Dave Chappelle - The Age of Spin - Live at the Hollywood Palladium

DAVE CHAPPELLE: THE AGE OF SPIN (2017) – Full Transcript

This is Dave. He tells dirty jokes for a living. That stare is where most of his hard work happens. It signifies a profound...
George Carlin

GEORGE CARLIN: BACK IN TOWN (1996) – Full transcript

Back in Town is George Carlin's 15th album and ninth HBO special. It was also released on CD on September 17, 1996. This was...
Louis CK 2017 Netflix stand-up

LOUIS C.K.: 2017 – Full transcript

Louis C.K. muses on abortion, religion, eternal love, giving dogs drugs, email fights, teachers and more in a live performance from Washington, D.C.
George Carlin - Jammin' In New York (1992)

GEORGE CARLIN: JAMMING IN NEW YORK (1992) – Full Transcript

Jammin' in New York is George Carlin's 14th album and eighth HBO special, recorded on April 24 and 25, 1992, at the Paramount Theater,...
George Carlin

GEORGE CARLIN: YOU ARE ALL DISEASED (1999) – Full Transcript

You Are All Diseased is the 16th album and 11th HBO live broadcast stand-up special by comedian George Carlin, recorded on February 6, 1999 at the Beacon Theater in New York City
Jim Jefferies - Bare (2014)

JIM JEFFERIES ON GUN CONTROL [FULL TRANSCRIPT]

Comedian Jim Jefferies breaks down the absurdity of America's obsession with guns in his Netflix special 'Bare'
George Carlin - Complaints And Grievances (2001)

GEORGE CARLIN: COMPLAINTS AND GRIEVANCES (2001) Full Transcript

Full transcript of Complaints and Grievances, HBO comedy special by stand-up comedian George Carlin. It was recorded on November 17, 2001.
Robin Williams

ROBIN WILLIAMS: PLAYBOY INTERVIEW (1992)

In 1992, the actor-comedian revealed the wonderful agony of stand-up, the perils of a life in Hollywood, and manic temptations that came with his Oscar-nominated gifts
George Carlin - Life Is Worth Losing

GEORGE CARLIN: LIFE IS WORTH LOSING (2006) – Full transcript

George Carlin returns to the stage in Life is Worth Losing, his 13th live comedy stand-up special, performed at the Beacon Theatre in New York City for HBO
George Carlin - It's bad for ya

GEORGE CARLIN: IT’S BAD FOR YA (2008) Full transcript

Full transcript of It's Bad for Ya, final HBO comedy special by stand-up comedian George Carlin. It was televised live on March 1, 2008 on HBO.
George Carlin

GEORGE CARLIN: PLAYBOY INTERVIEW

Sam Merrill interviews George Carlin for Playboy magazine in 1982