Elon Musk Monologue – SNL [Transcript]

First-time host Elon Musk talks about why he loves Saturday Night Live and shares what he was like as a kid.
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Elon Musk Monologue - SNL

Saturday Night Live s46E18
Original air date: May 8, 2021

* * *

Ladies and gentlemen, Elon Musk!

[Cheers and applause]

♪♪♪

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. It’s an honor to be hosting “Saturday Night Live.” I mean that. Sometimes after I say something I have to say “I mean that.” [Laughter] So people really know that I mean it already that’s because I don’t always have a lot of intonation or variation in how I speak. [Laughter] Which I’m told makes for great comedy. [Laughter] I’m actually making history tonight as the first person with Asperger’s to host “SNL.”

[Cheers and applause]

Or at least the first to admit it. [Laughter] So I won’t make a lot of eye contact with the cast tonight. But don’t worry, I’m pretty good at running “human” in emulation mode. [Laughter] I’d first like to share with you my vision for the future. I believe in a renewable energy future. I believe that humanity must become a multi-planet, space-faring civilization. Those seem like exciting goals, don’t they?

[Cheers and applause]

I think if I just posted that on twitter, I’d be fine. [Laughter] But I also write things like, 69 days after 4/20 again, ha ha. [Laughter] I don’t know, I thought it was funny, that’s why I wrote “ha ha” at the end. [Laughter] Look, I know I sometimes say or post strange things but that’s just how my brain works. To anyone I’ve offended, I just want to say, I reinvented electric cars, and I’m sending people to mars on a rocket ship.

[Cheers and applause]

Did you think I was also going to be a chill, normal dude? [Laughter]

[cheers and applause]

A lot of times people are reduced to the dumbest thing they ever did. Like, one time I smoked weed on Joe Rogan’s podcast. [Laughter] And now all I hear all the time is, “Elon Musk, all he ever does is smoke weed on podcasts.” Like I go from podcast to podcast lighting up joints. It happened once. It’s like reducing O.J. Simpson to “murderer.” [Laughter] It happened one time! [Laughter] Fun fact. O.J. also hosted this show in ’79. [Laughter] And again in ’96. Killed both times. [Laughter]

[cheers and applause]

One reason I’ve always loved “SNL” is because it’s genuinely live. A lot of people don’t realize that. We’re actually live right now. Which means I can say something truly shocking. Like, I drive a Prius. [Laughter] “SNL” is also a great way to learn something new about the host. For example, this is my son’s name. [Laughter] It’s pronounced “cat running across keyboard.” [Laughter] Another thing people want to know is, what was I like as a kid? The answer is, pretty much the same as now, but smaller. But we can also ask my mother, who is here tonight.

[Cheers and applause]

Her name is Maye, like the month, but with an “e” at the end.

Thanks for spelling my name, elon. [Laughter]

Mom, do you remember when I was 12 and I created my own video game called “blast star” about a spaceship that battles aliens?

I do. I remember they paid you $500. But you were too young to open a bank account so I had to open one for you.

That’s right, what ever happened to that bank account?

That’s not important. [Laughter] You turned that video game about space into reality.

Unless you consider that our reality may be a video game and we’re all just computer simulations being played by a teenager on another planet. [Laughter]

That’s great, elon. [Laughter] Well. Break a leg tonight. I love you very much.

Love you too, mom.

[Cheers and applause]

And I’m excited for my mother’s day gift. I just hope it’s not dogecoin?

It is. [Laughter] Okay, we’ve got a great show for you tonight. Miley Cyrus is here.

[Cheers and applause]

So stick around and we’ll be right back!

[Cheers and applause]

♪♪♪

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