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Woody Woodpecker Goes to Camp (2024) | Transcript

Woody Woodpecker must find a new home after being kicked out of the forest. At Camp Woo Hoo, he thinks he's found a forever home, but there's an inspector on the loose who wants to shut down the camp.
Woody Woodpecker Goes to Camp (2024)

Woody, once banished from his forest home for tormenting a camper, seeks to redeem himself by embracing teamwork at Camp Woo Hoo. His journey is riddled with challenges, notably from Buzz Buzzard, an escaped convict posing as a chef with sinister motives to unearth a hidden treasure. Amidst chaos and sabotage by Buzz, and after being wrongfully accused of havoc, Woody befriends Maggie, the camp director’s daughter, and rallies the campers for the pivotal Wilderness Games. As the competition intensifies, Woody uncovers and thwarts Buzz’s malevolent plans, saving Maggie and the camp in a heroic act of selflessness. The camps ultimately discover a statue, unexpectedly crafted of gold, symbolizing their true treasure. Woody’s journey culminates in a heartfelt farewell, promising his return, while Buzz faces retribution for his crimes in a comedic twist of fate.

* * *

[“O sole mio” playing]

[birds chirping]

[Woody Woodpecker] The first time I saw you, I knew you had to be mine.

That strange man held you so coldly in his hands.

I had no choice but to sweep you away from him.

No one will ever love you the way I do, Gladys.

[music stops abruptly]

What? I always name my pizzas.

Now, come to papa.

[klaxon blaring]

No!

Gladys!

You were far too young!

[man yelling] What up, party people?

Gah! What is that annoying sound?

[hip-hop music blaring]

It’s your boy, “Defiler” Kyler, ran do commando of the Kyler-verse!

That’s right, you all voted on my next dare, so here I am, here I am, surviving in the middle of the woods with my party posse!

[klaxon blaring]

[raucous cheering]

Surviving? Who’s this chump fooling?

Me and the Kyler Krew are so ready to rough it, starting with my extreme bunker the yurt!

Once you peep this, all eight million of you Kylerheads will want to move in!

Eight million Kylerheads moving in?

Not on my watch.

Here’s the dirt on the yurt.

Massage pod.

Boba tea bar.

Primo flat-screen TV playing nature videos, just to remind me where I am.

[rapid tapping]

[electricity crackling]

Gah! What is that annoying sound?

[tapping continues]

Whoa. Bro… what are you?

[in gruff voice] Your worst nightmare.

[Kyler splutters]

[Woody laughs]

[party posse gasp]

Taking a leak in the woods?

Rude!

[screaming]

[crew gasps]

I love making a splash.

[gasps]

[snarls]

No one desecrates my Playa Pool.

You’re mine!

Bowling is right up my alley.

Uh-oh.

[sizzling]

[shrieks]

[laughs]

[panting]

[snarls]

[door creaks]

[footsteps echoing]

[panting]

Where are you, little bro?

[Woody] Come on, bigger bro.

Can’t we just take a boba tea break?

[low-pitched groan]

[laughs]

[mug shattering]

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! [Laughs]

Whoa! Wahoo!

Yah!

[Kyler grunting]

Sweet signature kicks, bro.

[whimpers]

But have you seen the new Woodies?

[pecking]

I know. I’m speechless too.

[screams]

[blows landing]

[pecking]

[clattering]

What do you say we wrap this up, bro?

[air whooshing]

This is gonna get so many likes. Whoa!

[Kyler screams]

[“The Woody Woodpecker Song” playing]

[screaming]

Bro was right. I like.

[mechanical rumbling]

Guess who?

[laughs]

[birds chirping]

[gulp]

[candy rattling]

Woody, you know we all love you.

Back at ya! I’ll be on my way then.

Mwah!

[Ranger Walters sighs]

But these shenanigans have got to stop.

[gasps]

I take the fence to that!

Those chuckle heads got what they deserved.

We can’t let loud and annoying creatures who only care about themselves ruin our forest, can we?

No, we cannot.

There is a proper way to handle these kinds of situations, Woody.

By working together with all the other animals who live here.

[groans]

And then there’s your way, the by-yourself, crazy way.

And your way, as usual, caused more damage than those chuckle heads ever would have.

It won’t happen again, Chief. [clicks tongue]

Oh, really?

Everything you do brings chaos to this community.

Just look at your file.

[celestial music]

[Walters] That’s just this week.

Impressive, right?

I can’t keep coming up with excuses for your behavior.

I can help with that.

The butler did it. I was abducted by aliens.

I accidentally hypnotized myself.

I’m sorry, Woody, but you’re out.

All the animals signed a petition, and none of them have thumbs.

You want me to leave the forest?

But this is my home.

This is our home. And that’s the point.

You need to learn what it means to be part of a team.

Until you prove you’re a team player, you’re no longer welcome here.

Kicked out of my own home because I do things my way?

Because I create chaos?

[man] Watch it, buddy!

What a load of malarkey.

[woman screams]

[crashing]

Where in the world am I supposed to learn about teamwork anyway?

“Camp Woo Hoo. Dedicated to teamwork.”

Well, what do you know! I’ll be home in no time.

[kids chattering indistinctly]

What is this place? A tiny town run by children?

Huh. She looks important.

[Woody] A whittler, eh?

[gasps]

I’m more of a pecker myself. Check this out.

[pecking]

Not bad… whatever that is.

What are you working on anyway?

It’s supposed to be a catapult.

Not crafty. Check.

But enough about you.

According to the sign, this place sells teamwork, right?

That’s a weird way of putting it, but, yes, teamwork is a big part of any STEAM camp.

Steam. You mean like…?

[whistle bellows]

No, silly.

Science, technology, engineering, art, and math.

STEAM.

This is just the arts and crafts area. But everyone here has some special talent.

Well, almost everyone.

Well, I need something that says, “I’m a team player” so I could take my talents back home.

Is there some sort of form you could sign for me? Hmm? Huh? Hmm?

We do get Team Badges at the end of every summer if we do every activity.

“Do”?

That sounds like work, and “work” is my least favorite word.

Good day to you.

That’s okay. It’s lunchtime anyway.

[chuckles] We got off on the wrong foot. I’m Woody.

Maggie.

Fascinating. So, where’s this lunch you speak of?

[kids chattering]

[celestial music]

Have I died and gone to woodpecker heaven?

[chuckles] Relax, it’s not even pizza day.

A whole day of pizza?

[boy gasps]

Ahem!

Attention, citizens of Woo Hoo.

[chattering stops]

The buffet is now closed, as I will be inhaling the rest of this glorious food.

[woman] Not in here, you won’t.

[tuts] Maggie, you know we don’t allow animals in the dining hall.

Don’t worry, lady. The owner doesn’t need to know.

I’m the owner.

Maybe lead with that next time.

The parks inspector is coming today.

The last thing I need is another fine.

Yeah, I know, Mom.

[whispering] Grumpelstiltskin here is your mom?

You’re doing the whisper thing wrong.

[creaking]

Sweetheart, instead of hanging out with a woodpecker, why don’t you and your friends start getting ready for the Wilderness Games?

You never know, maybe this year will be different.

[Maggie] Come on.

Okay, I’ve given this a lot of thought.

You’ve been here an hour.

This camp has free food, lots of places to nap, and did I mention free food?

So I’ve decided to give up my mission to learn teamwork, and make this my forever home.

Camp isn’t forever, Woody. It’s just for the summer.

And the mission is back on.

Now, what was all that talk about games?

I love games.

The Wilderness Games. And there’s nothing to like.

It’s a lame tradition where, every summer, we get our butts kicked by the other camp.

[Woody] What other camp?

[munching, gulping]

Wait. Woody, you can’t! Those aren’t our chairs!

[screams]

[laughter]

Did you have a good trip, Maggie?

Yes! Gina with the sick burn.

Because she actually did trip.

[laughter]

[beep]

And why was that a sick burn?

Just saying what happened doesn’t make it funny.

Meet the other camp, Camp Hoo Rah.

[in unison] Hoo Rah!

[horn honking]

[military drums playing]

Let me guess. He’s the bad guy.

Are we forgetting who we are, Hoo Rah?

See, Hoo Rahs “Rah” as one, so everyone knows who “Rah’d.”

[in unison] Hoo Rah!

And now they know.

Hmm.

I keep this.

What’s going on here?

Well, if it isn’t my favorite cuz.

Seriously, Zane? A tripwire?

[Zane] Yes, Angie, seriously.

Maggie and her pet bird were trespassing on our side.

Pet? Why, you…

[Woody grunts]

It’s not my fault our forefathers divided this land.

Just following the rules.

But it doesn’t mean your side has to be jerks about it.

Jerks?

What Gina did here was courageous, protecting our camp from intruders.

That’s just one of the many life skills we teach at Hoo Rah.

Here we go.

See, my camp prepares kids to be the best of the best, like a real camp is supposed to.

[in unison] Hoo Rah!

That never gets old.

Well, we can yell together too! Right, gang?

[murmuring]

Oh. Uh, we’re leaving? Oh, okay.

[gruff voice] Huh. [Chuckles menacingly]

[ominous orchestral music]

Camp is officially in session.

[horn honks]

Oh, no. The inspector’s early.

Ooh! Is he a clown?

Will 20 of them come out when the doors open?

[car creaking]

[grunts]

[mumbling indistinctly]

Uh, hold on.

That is much better.

[retches] That’s much better?

Shh!

As I was saying, Miss Angie, how are things here at Camp Woo Hoo since my last inspection?

Just trying to mold young minds, Wally.

No real mold, like last time, of course?

That would be another violation.

[giggles]

A little “infractions” humor.

[feigns laughter]

Now, wait just a minute there, pal.

That was not humor.

This is humor.

[gasps] My citations book!

[pages tearing]

[Wally spluttering]

[Wally growls]

It’s just a stray bird.

I’ll have it removed immediately.

Clearly, “stray” means handsome.

[groans]

I like you, Miss Angie, but as we say in the business, your camp is falling apart.

I don’t want you to lose your license, so I’m here to make sure you have a chance to fix everything up to code.

Remember, without rules, we’re just animals.

I’ll grab a quick spritz at the water fountain.

Woody, you can’t mess with the inspector.

He can make things really bad for my mom and our camp.

Fine. I’ll go easy on the walrus.

But not that Zane guy. He’s gonna get a little…

Hyah! Hoo! Wahoo!

There’s nothing you can do about him.

This fight has been going on for generations.

Woo Hoo and Hoo Rah may be divided, but we share one very important relative.

Meet Grandpappy Obadiah Mallard.

He’s so… wooden.

He was a prospector. Came here during the gold rush to find his fortune.

Gold? I love gold.

[movie projector whirring]

[Maggie chuckles] So did Obadiah. And legend has it that he struck it rich.

So he bought some land and named it Camp Obadiah.

A place where his whole family could live and prosper.

But by the time his two sons came out to join him, he had died, and the rest of the gold was nowhere to be found.

Too bad this flashback wasn’t in color.

This story could really pop.

Oh, it popped.

Because his sons disagreed on everything.

[Woody] What about stupid beards? They both liked stupid beards, right?

[Maggie] They argued about how to use the land.

One was a soldier, the other was an artist.

So they split the map into two different camps, literally.

Woo Hoo and Hoo Rah have been rivals ever since.

That’s why they started the Wilderness Games.

But that just made things worse, because the Hoo Rahs always won.

And they still do.

We only still play the Games because my mom thinks trying builds character.

Character-shmaracter.

Give me five minutes alone with the Hoo Rahs and they’ll change their tune.

Put ’em up! Put ’em up!

What happened to you needing to learn teamwork?

And that’s a replica flare gun. It was only for emergencies.

If you’re in trouble, that would send a signal to your team.

Boring!

And what was this old thing used for?

Woody, that’s…

[Woody shrieks]

[clattering]

[inhales sharply] …real.

[bird call]

[Woody screams]

[Woody] Incoming!

Whoa! Whoa! Look out!

[kids gasp]

[Woody splutters]

What happened?

Dry powder propulsion is what happened.

Awesome!

You guys okay?

No. I was about to beat my record.

Any blood? Open wounds?

I don’t know. Let me ask one of these other birds.

That’s a fully matured, red-crested pileated woodpecker.

So majestic.

[Woody grunts]

Oh, that’s the stuff. Oh, yeah.

Oh, right. Uh…

This is J.J.

Gamer Goddess.

She designs video games,

like the one you just wrecked.

Gus is a DIY mech mastermind.

I’m all about going fast and blowing stuff up.

Orson’s a human computer.

Everything is math.

Rose is a writer, but no one’s brave enough to read what she writes.

That’s what I was going for.

[thunder crashes]

Can we rewind to the part about going fast and blowing stuff up?

And I’m Mikey, the resident nature expert.

Especially ornithology.

Gross!

It’s the study of birds.

As well it should be.

Everyone, this is Woody.

This is so cool, Maggie. I can’t believe your mom let you keep him.

[Angie] What is that hole in the wall?

[Wally] Another infraction is what it is.

That’s because she didn’t.

[military drums playing]

[squeaking]

Hey, Shelby, did you get my text about that chicken melt?

[spits] Because I want a chicken melt.

Who are you?

I’m your new cook.

I already have a cook.

Not anymore.

Well, that’s weird. Should I be concerned that my old cook is missing?

Would you consider winning an all-expense paid trip to Palm Springs “missing”?

What? No. That’s like a game show prize.

Then that’s what he won.

Sorry, I’m just a temp from the place.

I-I thought someone called.

Well, I would know if they did.

Zane Mallard,

head of Camp Hoo Rah.

Buzz Buzzard, jack of all trades, entrepreneur and, uh,

lucky for you,

someone who may or may not need a place to lay low for the summer.

Hmm. All right, Buzz, well, let’s see what you got.

[grunts] My fast ended, like, 40 minutes ago,

and I gotta eat, or I’m gonna miss my window.

Mm. Mm.

Mm!

Is this keto? Don’t tell me.

Wow. Look at all that cheddar.

Mm-hmm.

So many Wilderness Games victories.

And all against Woo Hoo.

I can see your camp prepares kids to be the best of the best,

like a real camp is supposed to.

That’s exactly what I always say.

But I gotta ask, how can you be the best when you’re splitting land with the rest?

What do you mean?

Seems to me that Amy’s camp…

Angie.

Angie’s camp is holding Hoo Rah back from being all it can be.

Imagine if, hypothetically, of course, Abby…

Angie.

Angie had to, uh, I don’t know, shut her camp down.

You could buy her land, make Hoo Rah twice as big,

which means twice as successful.

I don’t mean to pry. I…

I’m just an ideas guy.

Never apologize, Buzz. It’s a sign of weakness.

But you might be onto something.

I mean, Angie can barely keep Woo Hoo going as is.

Me taking it off her hands would be doing her a favor.

[sighs] But she does love that place.

Something crazy would have to happen for her to shut it down.

[Buzz grunts]

Well, solid chat, Buzz, but I gotta run.

I got a Wilderness Games strategy sesh at 0700.

Gotta make sure my plan is perfect.

[grunts] That makes two of us.

Do you really need to give us all these new citations, Wally?

These repairs will take time and money.

What do you want me to do?

Not focus on every little thing that could be an infraction?

Yes. I would love that.

I take my inspector oath very seriously.

Oh, jeebin’ fleeber!

I just got a car wash!

[Woody laughs]

You keep that woodpecker under control!

[heavy footsteps]

Yumpin’ yimini! Inside too?

[Buzz] It’s me. I’m in with Hoo Rah.

[chattering over phone]

[Buzz] We’ve been over this.

We need both sides of the land all to ourselves

so we can dig for the loot without interference.

We start by getting them Woo Hoos out of the picture.

It’ll be easier than throwing kittens.

Then we deal with Zane.

[chattering over phone]

Am I sure the legend of Obadiah is real

and his gold is buried under one of these two camps?

If you can’t trust your prison cellmate when he gives you a stolen map,

then who can you trust?

Relax. This is foolproof.

[chattering over phone]

Yes, more foolproof than last time!

[beep]

Now, where could that gold be?

[Zane] Buzz?

Hmm?

[Zane] Buddy? Can you come out here a second, please?

[footsteps]

Why is this guy saying he’s got a delivery for you?

Uh, I forgot to mention.

[spluttering] I took the liberty of ordering some new food items for Hoo Rah.

Y-you know, uh, even healthier stuff.

That doesn’t sound right.

I think it does.

So, like a fresh food delivery program.

[fingers snap]

That’s good initiative, Buzz.

As boss, I approve. Here. [Clears throat]

“B-O-S…

S.”

There you go.

[delivery guy clears throat]

You okay?

[retches]

What…

What’s happening?

[bird cawing in distance]

You know, sometimes people give tips to guys that do magic tricks for them.

You must love it when that happens.

Yep.

Buzz, I can’t wait to see what you make with all this.

[chuckles] Me neither.

[owl hooting]

[crickets chirping]

Hey, Maggie… you should hang out in the rec room with us more often.

I thought you were asleep.

If I was, my eyes would be wide open.

It’s a defense mechanism so I don’t get buried alive.

Where is that woodpecker? I know he’s in here.

Sheesh! Can’t a bird get ready for bed in peace and quiet?

♪ Ya-da-da-da-da-da, da-da ♪

♪ Ya-bup-bup-bup, bud-up-ba ♪

[sighs]

Peace and quiet?

All you’ve done since you got here is cause chaos.

Is that my toothbrush?

Please, Mom, we can’t throw Woody out into the cold.

It’s summer.

[sighs]

And it might be our last summer, thanks to Woody.

That dingus! Wait, what?

Wally’s given me 24 hours to fix everything,

including our newly demolished rec room,

before his final inspection.

Look, Angie, your camp is my ticket to not becoming a wood less woodpecker.

I just need one of them Team Badges and I could be on my way.

What do you say?

You want a Team Badge?

[Woody] We covered that.

Okay.

You’re gonna have to earn it. And that goes for all of you.

Or did you forget what Woo Hoo is about?

Woody can peck anything. He can help with the repairs. We all can.

[straining] Thanks, Maggie.

That bird is not going near any of my buildings ever again.

Whoo! [Grunts]

I have a better idea, one that will keep him out of trouble.

Starting tomorrow, all of you are going to be training for the Wilderness Games.

And Woody can help.

[groaning]

[sighs]

I know why you guys were in the rec room and not on the field.

You’re tired of getting pushed around by the Hoo Rahs

and you don’t think you stand a chance.

But you can’t hide from the bullies of this world your whole life.

If you work together [sighs]

you never know what can happen.

You might find something inside you you never knew you had.

If it gets me a badge, we’ll do it.

How hard can this “training” thing be?

[rock music playing]

[grunting]

[Rose] Whoa! [Grunts]

Whoa! [Grunts]

[grunts]

Whoa!

[grunts]

[grunts]

[exhales sharply]

Has anyone in this camp ever moved before?

[scoffs] I tried.

I’m gonna stick to virtual games. They’re much safer.

[Woody] You can’t quit.

Promises were made. Badges were dangled.

And we’re gonna train like nobody’s watching.

Because we’d be embarrassed if someone was watching.

[foliage rustling]

[mockingly] “But Amy loves that place.

Something crazy would have to happen for her to shut it down.”

Well, Zane, I got boxes full of crazy.

Imported Brazilian fire ants.

[ants chittering]

Banned in every country.

Except Brazil.

Great for causing damage to wooden cabins

and giving kids the heebie-jeebies.

All right. I figured it out.

The key to an obstacle course is clearly to get rid of the obstacles

before you even get to the obstacles.

Huh?

Adios, cabins.

Adios, Woo Hoo.

Obstacle.

[laughs]

[Woody laughing in distance]

[ants chittering]

[jabbering]

[Buzz jabbering in distance]

Only 40 more obstacles to remove.

Who’s with me?

Nope. Can’t do it. You all know I’m afraid of heights.

A bird lover that’s afraid of heights?

Now I know why this camp never rises to the top.

[crickets chirping]

Never mind. Come back to me. I’ll think of something funnier.

This weapons-grade neodymium magnet,

outlawed for its extreme energy levels,

should tear the metal foundation right out from under Woo Hoo’s mess hall.

Let’s see how long Woo Hoo can stick around

without a place to eat.

[whirring]

All right, Mikey, I’m gonna help you get over that wall.

You just need a little push in the tush.

[whimpers]

[Mikey grunts]

[Mikey] Whoa!

[others gasp]

Whoa!

[whirring]

[bell dings]

[creaking]

[whirring intensifies]

[gulps]

Well, you’re over it now, ain’t ya?

[Woody laughs]

[grunting]

It’s that laugh again.

[grunting]

Is that a woodpecker?

[hammer banging]

You okay?

I got you.

You okay, man?

Are you okay?

[beak creaks]

Now, this is how you train for a lake race.

Anyone got an earthworm?

Tell us again why we have six people in a three-person canoe?

Just because you’re good at math, Orson, doesn’t mean I am.

And why are we not doing this in the actual water?

Safety first, Gus.

We have six people in a three-person canoe.

Now, row quieter!

I don’t want to scare the fish away.

[ominous music playing]

Now I just connect this end of my black-market raw-sewage vat,

and this power blower does the rest.

Try staying afloat with a stinky lake, Woo Hoo.

[straining]

[grunts] A boot?

Looks like I gotta cast my line even further, eh?

[water splashes]

[grunts]

[grunts, splutters]

I got something! [Grunts]

And, boy, is she a big one!

[power blower sucking]

[grunting]

[gasps]

[air hissing]

[grunting]

[groans]

[creaking]

[screams]

[Buzz yelling in distance] Gross!

[sighs] Goodbye, second lunch.

I hardly ate ye.

[grunting]

[groans]

That infernal woodpecker again!

Never mind.

That is one ugly fish!

And what exactly is this?

[Maggie] It’s our fortress, Woody.

Capture the Flag is the only event we Woo Hooers actually like.

My mom can’t afford the amenities Hoo Rah has,

so we have to get creative.

We never capture Hoo Rah’s flag, but we always have fun protecting ours.

I use precise calculations

to turn ordinary camp materials into viable barriers.

I Minecraft the barriers into a maze

that will confuse the Hoo Rahs as to where our flag is.

[klaxon blares]

[wind gusting]

[J.J.] First rule of game design.

Create a world rich with depth, where things aren’t always as they seem.

[Rose] I…

[screams]

[thunder crashes]

provide the ambience.

A femur here, a tibia there…

I created lookout nests to hide up in the trees

that I let other people install.

And finally, in case any Hoo Rahs get past all that,

I’ve rigged a few surprises for them.

[beep]

[beep]

[rapid beeping]

[explosion]

Nothing dangerous, of course, but it will scare the pants off of them.

Kaboom!

Gus, you had me at “kaboom.”

You guys aren’t as hopeless as you seem.

And what do you do here, Maggie?

Me?

I just help out wherever I can.

[sighs]

Good as new.

[chattering over phone]

Stop yelling!

It’s hard to do damage to their camp when all the damage is happening to me!

They’ve got some crazy woodpecker, and he’s an accident machine.

Disaster follows him everywhere.

[chattering over phone]

W-well, sure, I could use a harness for my arm.

I think it’s broke.

[chattering over phone]

Harness the woodpecker’s craziness and use it against him,

so he causes all the damage?

Interesting idea… that I was just about to suggest.

[beep]

All done here, man.

Your super-aggro boss already signed for these.

But…

Hmm?

Your mother must be proud.

Thanks for being a Little Gem Loyalty Rewards Member.

I’ll check out these new weapons soon enough.

But right now, that bird’s the only weapon I need.

Well, that was exhausting.

Which one of you is gonna carry me to dinner?

Psst! Hey, bub.

I got something to show ya.

Hmm. Something don’t feel right.

I’ll meet you at the buffet.

Don’t touch any food till I get there.

Woody…

I just need to use the little bird’s room.

And when you gotta go, you gotta go, you know?

[Maggie] Hmm.

Oh, about time you showed up.

Do I know you?

I got one of them faces, that’s all.

I’m here to fix this room, and I could use a hand.

Sorry, pal.

“Work” is my least favorite wor…

Wait a second.

This room is already fixed.

You sure about that, bub?

You sure this rec room ain’t a wrecked room?

Hey! What kind of repairman are you?

The kind that knows when something is unstable.

Why, you… [grunts]

Aha!

You’re that pesky buzzard I saw lurking by the lake.

Call me Buzz.

“Buzz the Buzzard”?

And people think my name is lazy.

Next event, the pole vault!

Hi-yah!

[grunts]

Oopsie! Another mess.

Want some more, eh?

It’s hammer time!

[Buzz grunts]

Oh, no!

Next thing, you’ll be jumping on that fully-charged buzz saw

I left sitting over there.

“Buzz” saw?

You need better material.

[saw buzzing]

Hey, don’t get crazy now, fella.

I’ll show you crazy!

[Woody cackling]

[clattering]

Ooh! He’s gaining!

[Woody] Gotcha!

Don’t gotcha.

[saw buzzing]

[creaking]

[screams]

[grunts]

[mobile jingling]

[screams, grunts]

[grunts, panting]

Get back here, Buzzy boy.

I’m just getting started.

[Angie] No, Woody. You’re finished.

There is no ticket big enough

to capture the horror I am witnessing with my two tusks.

Woody?

I was framed.

Does this look like something I would do?

Yep.

[Mikey] Mm-hmm.

Wally, please, I just need more time.

I am sorry, Miss Angie, but your time is up.

I have no choice but to shut this camp down.

[kids gasp]

Excuse me. Please move.

Coming through.

We had a deal.

This is a travesty! A farce! A third thing!

Will you shoo?

[grunts, jabbers]

[Woody grunts]

Obadiah gave us this land, Wally.

This camp is his legacy.

This camp is a disgrace to see!

Obadiah gave Hoo Rah its land too,

and they’ve never gotten one single infraction.

[doors opening]

Jeez. Angie, we heard the commotion.

What happened?

That buzzard is what happened.

He’s the reason Wally is shutting Woo Hoo down.

My boy, you hurt me deeply with those incinerations.

Buzz happens to be my new cook.

There’s no way he had anything to do with this.

[blows raspberry]

Now, instead of pointing fingers at my staff, maybe it’s time to admit

that Woo Hoo just isn’t good enough to even be a camp.

My campers are good enough to be whatever they want, Zane.

If anyone’s let them down, it’s me.

Then it’s official.

Camp Woo Hoo is now shut dow…

Not so fast.

Uh, Woody?

All you did was say, “Not so fast.”

Oh. [Chuckles] Right.

Not so fast.

We’ll just have to win the whole darn thing.

What whole darn, what thing?

The Wilderness Games.

The legendary games of our forefathers,

where Dennis stood up to Goliath.

Dennis?

Where underdogs became over dogs.

Where the fate of the entire galaxy hung in the balance.

This historic contest is the ultimate measure of camp-osity.

So, let it be the great decider.

[chuckles]

[Maggie] Woody’s right.

If Hoo Rah is the best of the best, and we beat the best of the best,

wouldn’t that prove we’re good enough to be a camp?

That we deserve to stay?

The little lady has a point.

But to ensure no improprieties,

there needs to be a completely impartial yudge.

A handsome yudge.

A wise yudge.

A yudge with a super-rad mustache.

Uh…

You. I’m talking about you.

Oh!

Okay, this is ridiculous. Are you sure you want to do this, Angie?

We both know your camp will get crushed.

Then you should have no trouble saying yes.

Oh, I want nothing more than to say yes.

Yes.

[Buzz groans]

[Wally] Then that settles it.

The Wilderness Games will go on as planned.

Woo Hoo’s last stand.

This is going to be great.

Right, guys?

Guys?

[crickets chirping]

[toilet flushing]

[exhales]

[gasps]

What happened in there?

It’s those sloppy Joes you keep making.

I’m beginning to think they’re not keto or paleo.

I mean at the lodge.

Hmm?

Woo Hoo was as good as done for.

Well, they challenged us, Buzz.

And Hoo Rahs never back down from a challenge.

Hey, relax.

One final Woo Hoo butt-kicking

and no one will question our superiority again, all right?

[Buzz grunts]

Why the long faces? We don’t have to close camp.

For a couple more days. We’re just delaying the inevitable.

We get humiliated with nothing on the line,

so how will it go when we’re playing for all the marbles?

A very gory ending to our story.

This is just about keeping Woo Hoo around

so you can get your stupid Team Badge, isn’t it?

Let me answer that, Gus.

Yes.

At least, that’s what it was about.

But now there’s something far more noble at stake.

Sweet revenge.

[knuckles crack]

[groaning]

[Woody] Those bullies are going down!

Unlikely.

Statistically, we have a one in 1.9 million shot at winning.

[groaning]

It’s still a shot.

If this is the only way to save Woo Hoo,

for my mom, for all of us,

then I’m in.

But we need to focus on how we’re gonna pull this off.

You leave that to me.

[John Farnham’s “Break the Ice” playing]

[grunting]

[grunting]

♪ Frozen in silence ♪

Whoa!

♪ Facing it alone ♪

Aha!

Hyah! ♪ Gotta keep my cool ♪

♪ Make ’em think I’m made of stone ♪

[low-pitched roar]

♪ Get ready to break the ice ♪

[shredding guitar solo] ♪ Feels like time is standing still ♪

♪ Aiming right for your heart ♪

[cheering]

♪ Ready to take another spill ♪

[music stops] ♪ Getting ready to break the ice ♪

♪ Ice, ice, ice ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

[crickets chirping]

Did it work? Are we ready?

You just ran around for five minutes playing air guitar.

You’re welcome.

The Games start tomorrow.

We should probably get some sleep.

Was it the song I chose? Does anyone have a key to the kitchen?

[sighing] We’re all gonna die.

[dramatic orchestral music]

[over PA] Hello, Camp Woo Hoo and Camp Hoo Rah.

Welcome to the 117th Wilderness Games!

[fanfare plays]

[clattering]

That’s for wearing short shorts.

[Zane chuckles]

[Maggie gulps]

Each event will be worth one point,

with the final event, Capture the Flag, being worth two points.

There’s the scoreboard,

and the team with the most points wins!

We know how a scoreboard works.

I know I do. May the best camp win.

[Zane chuckles]

Hoo Rah!

[grunting in unison]

Okey do key.

Let the Games begin!

[cheering]

[rock music playing]

Try not to sink.

[cheering]

[inhales]

[whistle blows]

[cheering intensifies]

[cheering stops]

[indistinct yelling]

You’re going the wrong way!

Where are we?

Turn! [Gasps]

Backwards!

Backwards!

[cheering resumes]

[girl] You got it!

♪ When the feeling hits me ♪

♪ It’s like electricity… ♪

[blows]

[blowing]

[inhales]

♪ Let’s make it happen, make it happen… ♪

Whoo!

Let’s go, Hoo Rah!

[girl] Let’s go, Gina!

[chanting] Hoo Rah! Hoo Rah!

Hoo Rah! Hoo Rah!

[whistle blows]

[cheering]

This was over before it started.

Ah, yeah!

And it’s even more over now that it’s ended.

Point, Hoo Rah!

[Wally grunts]

[cheering stops]

[Wally] Uh…

♪ Let’s make it happen Make it happen, we do… ♪

[whistle blows]

[Wally farts]

[cheering]

[chanting] Hoo Rah! Hoo Rah! Hoo Rah! Hoo Rah! Hoo Rah!

[Zane] Let’s go!

Hoo Rah! Hoo Rah! Good hustle!

[chanting] Hoo Rah! Hoo Rah!

[grunting]

[applause]

[whistle blows]

[chanting] Hoo Rah! Hoo Rah! Hoo Rah!

Good job!

Yay!

[chanting] Hoo Rah! Hoo Rah!

[Wally] Another point for Hoo Rah!

This might hurt a little.

[whistle blows]

[cheering]

Yeah.

[applause]

♪ Ooh, I love this… ♪

[Wally] Yep, you guessed it. Point, Hoo Rah.

[cheering, applause]

The Woo Hoos are getting creamed.

The plan is going exactly to

plan.

[cheering]

[chanting] Hoo Rah! Hoo Rah!

One minute, 55 seconds!

[cheering]

That is an unbeatable time, and that is an actual ninja.

At this rate, the only win we’ll get

is for coming up with different ways to say zero!

“Zilch, diddly-squat, goose egg, bupkis.”

Face it, Woody. We’re not good at this stuff.

I’m just a gamer, remember?

Well, this ain’t a video game, sister.

Give me those goggles.

Maybe there’s a virtual forest I can move into.

Stupid obstacle course with all its

obstacles.

Wait.

Maybe Woody’s trying to make a point.

[Woody] I most certainly am!

J.J.,

what if you thought of this course as a video game?

Nobody beats the Gamer Goddess at those, right?

Yo, Camp Boo Hoo. Let’s get this party started.

Oh, snap! Because “Boo Hoo” rhymes with “Woo Hoo.”

[laughter]

[J.J. sighs]

Are you ready, Woo Hoo?

[automated voice] Ready, Player One.

[sighs]

[whistle blows]

[rock music playing]

♪ Na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na, whoo! ♪

♪ Kill the lights Feel the moment, this is it ♪

♪ Everybody’s eyes on me ♪

♪ I always knew That I was meant for this ♪

♪ Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa-oh-oh ♪

♪ I’ll remember every word they say ♪

♪ It’s only pouring gas on the flames ♪

♪ They say I’ll never leave a legacy ♪

♪ But one day You’re gonna see the best of me ♪

♪ Make no mistake ♪

♪ Whatever it takes… ♪

[cheering]

J.J.!

[cheering continues]

[girl] Whoo! You got it! Keep going!

[girl 2] You got it!

[boy] Come on, J.J.!

♪ I’m gonna be iconic ♪

One minute, 52 seconds?

Point, Woo Hoo!

[cheering]

[J.J. laughs]

♪ Na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na ♪

Did we just lose an event?

Did we just win an event?

[cheering continues]

♪ Na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na ♪

[Woody] Whoo, whoo, whoo!

♪ I’m gonna be iconic ♪

That was insane! Did you see their faces?

It defied all projections.

Well, it was a pretty rad strategy.

You mean, the idea that I had that Maggie said.

You did great, Woody.

Not to sound corny, but our pistons are just getting revved up.

[chuckling]

If you want to get corny, allow me.

[whirring]

[Gus spluttering]

Hey! Watch it!

[pudding splatters]

[Gus gasps]

Well, that was off-pudding.

[pudding splatters]

[girl whispering] I know. Oh, my gosh.

I am not pudding up with that.

Yep, her joke’s better.

Food fight!

Now we’re talking!

[screaming, laughter]

[groans] My guts!

[Woody laughs]

[Orson groans]

[Angie] Ahem!

[kids gasp]

This calls for a picture.

[kids sigh]

Say cheese.

[screaming, laughter]

[shrieks]

[boar grunting]

[cheering, applause]

[groaning]

For Camp Hoo Rah, a new Ride the Boar record!

[cheering]

[Wally] Woo Hoo will now have a chance to beat it.

[chanting] Ride the boar! Ride the boar!

Ride the boar!

Ride the boar!

I don’t want to ride the boar.

[chuckling] Don’t you worry, Orson.

As the brains behind this operation,

I will once again give sage advice to lead us to victory.

Think of this as a video game.

A Ride the Boar video game?

[Orson] I suck at video games.

Doesn’t seem like the angle we should take on this one.

Well, back to the ole drawing board. [splutters]

[chanting continues]

Well, if anyone knows what angle to take, it’s you.

Please expound upon that.

Everything is math. Right?

[chanting] Ride the boar! Ride the boar! Ride the boar!

[digital trilling]

[gasps]

What’s taking you so long, kid? Get up on that boar!

[sighs] What?

[breathes deeply]

[cheering]

You can do it, Orson. Come on, you can do it!

Come on, Orson.

[whistle blows]

[cheering]

[“Un bel dì, vedremo” playing]

[cheering fades out]

[music stops abruptly]

[scattered applause]

[unenthused murmuring]

[yawns]

Please end this.

[thud]

[gasps, splutters] Point, Woo Hoo!

[cheering]

What?

Whoo!

We got ourselves a problem, bub.

Them Woo Hoos have won two in a row.

[chattering over phone]

I know the Hoo Rahs are stronger.

[cheering]

But them Woo Hoos are using their smarts

to find ways to win.

He’s wrapping his potato in a diaper.

He really is a mech mastermind!

It’s called wadding.

It creates a better barrel seal for higher projectile velocity.

[kids gasp]

If this keeps up,

I might have to start doing some interfering.

Point, Woo Hoo!

Kaboom!

[grunts]

[groaning] Okay, it’s time to start interfering.

[cheering]

[Woody laughs]

[chuckles]

[gasps]

At least your nerd friends have geek skills.

You’re only here because your mommy owns the camp.

[kids chanting] Gus! Gus! Gus!

[Gus laughs]

[chanting continues]

[mechanical squeaking]

[squeaking continues]

Greasy does it, Woo Hoo.

Try getting a grip when your top rungs are covered in oil.

[mechanical squeaking]

[kids chattering in distance]

That’s way too much wall.

Not for me.

That glorious chunk of wood is a woodpecker’s dream.

I would peck every hole and open knot in that thing.

Hey, nobody knows birds more than you do. Right, Mikey?

No one.

So, be a bird.

[Mikey] Be a bird.

[whistle blows]

Squawk!

[cheering]

Squawk!

Squawk!

[Maggie chuckles]

[Mikey] Squawk!

Squawk!

Look at that. Such grace.

[Mikey] Squawk!

Squawk!

Squawk!

Squawk! Whoa!

Whoa!

[crowd groaning]

[bell ringing]

[Wally] Point, Hoo Rah!

[cheering]

[grunts]

Pretty slick, if I may say so myself.

[grunts]

Bad pun. I deserve that.

[cheering, applause]

I blew it, you guys.

I’m sorry.

You didn’t blow it.

You overcame your fear of heights, and I’d say that’s a win.

Really?

[J.J.] Yeah, dude.

Even though we’ll never be able to unsee this.

[imitates bird squawking]

[imitates bird squawking]

[imitates bird squawking]

[laughter]

[Woody] Squawk! Squawk! [Laughs]

[squawking continues]

[Woody clucking]

[Woody cooing]

[Woody clucking]

[Woody laughs]

And now, to turn up the heat on them Woo Hoos.

[cheering]

And eat!

[airplane engine thrumming]

[Woody munching]

[gasps, splutters]

Forfeit! Hoo Rah wins!

[cheering]

Ain’t that ironic. It worked anyway!

Woody!

[Woody] What?

You can’t expect me to stay away from pie.

[stomach rumbling]

[groans]

I’ll, uh, catch up with you guys.

[Woody groaning]

[Buzz splutters]

[stomach rumbling]

[groans]

[roars]

[sighs]

[Buzz groaning] Still… worth it.

[wolf howling in distance]

Okay, guys, it’s the second-to-last event.

We kind of need a W here.

No problem. We got a ringer.

A ghost-story-telling slam dunk.

Scary Rose.

No.

[screams]

She’s even trying to scare us by saying no.

[laughs] Classic Scary Rose.

I’m afraid, okay?

You, afraid? That doesn’t make sense.

I’m afraid of being the way I am in front of people I don’t know.

What if it was just us out there?

I would haunt your souls.

Then imagine everyone else has our faces

as masks.

I know, mine’s ridiculous.

[wind whistling]

“The following story is true.”

It happened to me when I was just a little girl,

but I was always too terrified to share it.

“Until now.” [echoing]

“And when I finally woke up,

my dog was gone.

All that was left was his collar on my night stand,

with a note that simply read,

“‘Humans can eat dog treats too.'”

[wolves howling in distance]

[beak creaks]

W-W-What do you say we just call this event for Woo Hoo?

[assenting murmurs]

Give it up for Scary Rose and her dog.

I never had a dog.

And we’re still down by one point.

But Capture the Flag is worth two.

We actually have a chance to win.

A pretty decent chance.

With our mega-fortress? Better believe we do.

Did you raid the candy stash?

[gulps]

Because you better save room for pizza!

[cheering]

Yeah! Pizza!

Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme!

How I’ve missed you, Gladys.

[munching]

Let’s huddle.

[laughter]

[in unison] One, two, three,

Woo Hoo!

Okay, listen up. Listen up.

I want you to know, you guys, I’m incredibly proud of all of you.

And whatever happens tomorrow, we’ll always be Woo Hoo.

[cheering]

Yeah! Woo Hoo!

[applause]

[Orson] All right, it’s pizza time.

[Mikey] Tell me you got pepperoni.

[Angie] Veggie or plain?

Just cheese for me.

[Rose] Orson, pass me a slice.

And whatever happens tomorrow, I think you should get your badge.

Really?

That means I can go home?

What’s wrong?

Oh. Um…

This is just my hungry face.

Are you sure? Looks like something’s eating you up.

Not eating is eating me up. Uh…

I’m gonna go grab another pie.

Okay. Well, don’t eat it all. The team might still be hungry.

I thought I was part of the team, but apparently not!

[door slams]

Oh, honey, let him go.

Sometimes woodpeckers

gotta peck.

[military music playing]

[gasps]

Oh. Buzz.

You’re in my cabin, again. Why?

Woo Hoo is one win away from keeping their camp!

Yeah. You’re telling me? Who saw that coming? Not this guy.

Zane! You’re losing sight of the big picture.

This could be Hoo Rah’s last chance to take that next step we talked about.

Do I look concerned?

I don’t, do I?

I shouldn’t, because showing concern is another sign of weakness.

Buzz, Capture the Flag is a war games simulation,

which is literally all we do here at Hoo Rah.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a night-light to turn on.

That girl’s story made me think things.

[wolf howling in distance]

Come here, Colonel Teddy.

Well, I ain’t taking any chances.

[Woody] I don’t get it.

Maggie said, whatever happens tomorrow, maybe I’ll get to go home.

So why don’t I feel like celebrating?

Is it because, if we lose, Maggie and the others will lose Woo Hoo?

No, that can’t be it.

That has nothing to do with my mission.

Or does it?

What are these strange lumps in my stomach?

[gasps]

Feelings?

[wind gusting]

Nah, you’re right.

Definitely just hunger. Good talk.

It’s nice to meet someone who really listens.

[door slams]

No-good buzzard.

I’m gonna nab a snack from his kitchen.

All right.

Just need to find where they hide the peanut butter.

Tomorrow morning, Camp Woo Hoo will become Camp Buh-Bye.

[Woody gasps]

I’ll finally get that moron Zane to buy Woo Hoo’s land from Annie.

[chattering over phone]

Yes, Angie!

Then I’ll blackmail him into giving us both camps.

[chattering over phone]

Of course it’ll work!

That dolt’s been signing for all my deliveries.

Deliveries of things a guy could go to jail for signing

for.

[gasps]

It’ll be easier than destroying Woo Hoo’s stupid fortress.

[gasps]

Just be ready for my signal.

That gold is as good as ours.

[gasps]

[beep]

[utensils clattering]

[Woody gasps]

Phew!

[clattering]

[screams]

Huh? Who’s there?

[high-pitched] Nobody but us clumsy old pots.

Well, keep it down out there.

Hey, wait a second! Pots don’t talk!

[pot scraping]

Guess who?

[grunts] Ow!

I’m lethal with a spatula.

I wasn’t named “top cook” in prison for nothing.

But now I got me a higher purpose.

You want to run a summer camp?

No, you pinhead!

I want the millions in gold buried somewhere in this awful place.

And the last thing I need is a loudmouthed woodpecker spoiling my plan.

So why don’t you chill out?

[Woody grunts]

“Chill out!” [chuckling] Oh, man! These just pop off the top of my head.

You’ll be the coolest kid in camp, Woody.

[laughing] Another one! Nailed it!

[Woody] You know those weren’t funny!

Don’t lie to yourself!

I gotta warn Maggie, and Angie, and Zane!

Maybe not Zane.

But first, I gotta keep from becoming a bird-sicle.

[teeth chattering]

Fun fact.

A woodpecker’s tongue contains bone and cartilage

that wraps around its brain to absorb shock while pecking.

[thud]

[groaning] That didn’t absorb anything.

[birds chirping]

Here we are. Capture the Flag.

The final event of these unexpectedly exciting Wilderness Games.

Where’s Woody?

[Wally] So many memories.

I don’t know. He got upset.

[Wally] So much anticipation.

I didn’t want him to eat all the pizza last night, or something…

Doesn’t feel right without him with us.

I know. But we’ll be all right.

We’ll just have to do this without him.

After the ceremonial Placing of the Flags,

both teams will try to capture the other team’s flag.

We know how to play, all right?

[clears throat]

All right. Thank you.

Oh.

[groaning]

These must have shrunk in the dryer.

[Wally grunts, splutters]

[grunts]

I have officially placed the Hoo Rah flag on its designated home base.

We will do the same at Woo Hoo’s base.

Then let the flag-capturing begin.

[cheering]

I can’t wait for the look on their faces when they see…

Our fortress!

[boy] Oh, my gosh.

[groaning]

Someone killed it.

Zane, how could you?

Look, I’ll admit, I’m not exactly sad that this happened, but this wasn’t me, cuz.

Honest.

Miss Angie, I’m sorry.

Do you want to take a few minutes to decide what you want to do?

I love the smell of forfeit in the morning.

Hello?

[singsong] Delivery.

Anybody here?

Intense boss guy that doesn’t tip?

Buzzard dude?

Huh. That’s new.

[air whooshing]

Whoa!

Are you okay?

[teeth chattering]

I’ve b-b-been b-b-better.

Yeah…

You know what?

I feel like I’m getting involved with something that isn’t my business.

[beak creaks]

[running footsteps]

You opened the what?

The freezer! I said, the freezer! [Grunts]

[panting]

Remember, you’re an artist.

This is just for the summer so you can pay for magic school.

[sighs] That feels nice.

But why do I smell burnt tush?

Tush! Ooh!

Almost fricassee’d myself!

Now, to find Maggie and Angie.

Oh, no, you don’t!

Oh, yes, I do!

I’m telling everyone about your dastardly, double-crossing ways!

If there’s one thing I hate…

[flames whooshing]

it’s a tattletale!

[grunting]

Smells like you also hate deodorant,

and toothpaste,

and not farting.

[groans, jabbers]

Huh?

Peekaboo!

Over here! You’re not very good at this game, are you?

[Buzz grunts]

Shh!

[Woody laughs]

[Buzz grunts]

[indistinct chattering]

So, our projected win rate just went down to

zero?

Final nail in our coffin.

For a second there, I thought we might pull this off.

Me too.

We brought everything we had.

[Maggie] I didn’t.

I didn’t bring anything to these Games.

Just like I don’t bring anything to Woo Hoo.

You all have these extraordinary talents,

and we got those victories because of them.

But I don’t.

If I did, maybe I could have helped us win more events

and we wouldn’t even be in this position.

Hey, where are you going?

Who cares? I wouldn’t even be a part of this team if you weren’t the owner.

Where did you hear that?

It doesn’t matter. They don’t need me.

Maggie, you’re the whole reason this is a team.

You got J.J. to think outside her video box,

and Mikey to break down his walls.

You got Rose to face her fears.

You got Gus to pound on his chest.

And I’ve never heard Orson talk this much.

[others] Yeah.

Sorry. We were all listening. [Chuckles]

[chuckles softly]

Maggie, you make us better.

Sure, we each have certain skills, but you figured out how to use them.

And you’re the one who inspired us to believe that we could.

Yeah. We’d be dead without you.

You’re

our leader.

I am?

[Angie] Yeah.

And if bringing these weirdos together

isn’t an extraordinary talent, I don’t know what is.

[Maggie chuckles]

Can we all agree that I said “weirdos” with love

and should not be canceled?

[laughter]

[stirring orchestral music playing]

Game on.

Okey do key.

Hoo Rahs will go back to their fortress.

I will then blow my whistle to signify the start.

[Zane scoffs]

So, what do we do now, Captain?

We can’t rebuild, and our flag’s just sitting there.

Exactly,

which means they’re going to be cocky and storm our side right away,

without even thinking about defense.

Here’s the plan.

[over megaphone] Three! Two! One!

Begin!

[Maggie] Mikey will distract the first Hoo Rahs with exotic bird calls,

so they’ll be looking up.

[bird call]

Rose will be lying down, covered in leaves and moss,

like she’s dead.

Bam!

[screaming]

Those campers, tagged out.

Gus will set a trap for the next wave,

using string from Rose’s ruined decorations.

Like a tripwire. Something the Hoo Rahs are quite familiar with.

[grunting]

Another bunch down.

Meanwhile, J.J. and Orson will bait even more Hoo Rahs

with a very calculated trick.

They’ll think it’s just our lame attempt at a border wall, and the coast is clear.

But once they cross…

Bam! First rule of game design.

Create a world rich with depth, where things aren’t as they seem.

We totally pawned these noobs!

[Maggie] We’ll pick them off one by one till we outnumber them.

And that’s when we make our move.

[grunting]

[Buzz] Was that kosher?

[clattering]

[blows landing]

[goat bleats]

Aha!

So, it ends with a classic eggbeater-rolling-pin fight, eh?

That is some whisky business, pal.

On guard!

On guard?

You mean, on dishwasher. [Laughs]

Who learned you how to spoke?

I’ve just about had it up to here with you, woodpecker!

Can’t two birds just get along?

Check out this move.

I learned it in spin class.

[Woody screams]

Now, get over here!

[grunts]

Now I’m getting the spins.

Smell you later!

[Buzz grunts]

Call me next time you’re in town and we’ll ketchup.

[Woody laughs]

[Buzz groans]

[Woody laughs]

[Buzz grunts]

Playtime’s over.

I see what’s going on here.

No one can help you now, pal.

You’re about to be cooked.

[Maggie] That’s a flare gun. Only for emergencies.

If you’re in trouble, that would send a signal to your team.

Pretty smart game plan, Maggie. But not smart enough.

I gots ya.

But we gots your flag.

[yelling]

Huh?

[yelling continues]

[cheering]

Whoo!

We just have to bring it back to our base, and we win!

[flare whooshing]

[explosion]

[murmuring]

Is that a flare?

Woody didn’t leave us. He’s in trouble.

It came from the Hoo Rah’s side. How do you know it’s Woody?

Because it’s the only reason he’d miss this.

We gotta go help him.

Uh, can we worry about this later? We’re about to win.

When a flare goes up, the team responds. And Woody is a part of our team.

But I tagged you!

[Maggie] Don’t care!

[scoffs]

[Wally] Huh. This isn’t in the playbook.

What are they doing?

[flare gun clatters]

Ha! You missed.

Did I?

[door opens]

Huh?

Woody!

[Buzz grunts]

Hyah!

[clattering]

[Buzz grunting]

Are you okay?

[chuckling] Of course!

I was in the middle of foiling an evil plot.

But you used the flare gun to call for help.

Pfft! I used the flare gun to distract the buzzard. That’s all.

Pfft! Is that right?

Pfft! That is right.

[Maggie chuckles]

Wait. What about Capture the Flag?

We were about to win. Can you believe it?

But we decided to take a detour.

You gave up the Games… for me?

Mm-hmm.

Can we rewind to the evil plot part?

Right. Look in the pantry.

Crates full of weird-looking weapons and gold-mining stuff?

You won’t find the gold before me!

[Buzz grunts]

[Buzz grunting]

Much better.

[muffled grunting]

[sighs] What’s going on?

[Zane] And why is my cook tied up?

As I was saying,

evil plot.

Buzz destroyed Woo Hoo’s fortress so you would lose the Games and your camp.

Then Zane would buy Woo Hoo,

and Buzz would blackmail Zane into giving both camps to him.

What?

What?

Zane’s name is on all of Buzz’s illegal doohickeys.

So you’re not a professional cook?

You lying buzzard. I trusted you.

That sounds incredibly stupid. I can hear it now.

But why would he want our land?

To find Grandpappy Obadiah’s gold.

That’s what this is about?

[sighs]

There’s no missing gold.

That’s just an old legend.

I’m not so sure, Mom.

Look.

Don’t we have a map that looks like that in our lodge?

In the case with all that prospector stuff.

We have one too, in our case.

Each camp has a piece of this old map.

I always assumed they were two halves torn apart.

What if there were three pieces?

This can’t be real.

Only one way to find out.

Where did everybody go?

And how do I get down from here…

Whoa!

[Woody laughs]

[thud]

[Wally grunts]

[Wally] I’m okay! The poison ivy broke my fall.

Look at all those random markings.

Unless they’re not random at all.

[Buzz grunting]

Hmm.

[straining]

[chuckles]

[Zane] Hold on. What?

[chattering]

What?

Well, those lines.

I…

That’s perfect.

May I?

[Zane] Hmm.

[Orson sighs]

[Orson] It’s not a third piece.

It’s an overlay. And that’s Obadiah!

X marks the spot!

Jackpot!

Right near Obadiah’s statue.

[Zane] Hmm.

It was there the whole time, right under our noses.

Oh, boy! Real gold.

We might owe that dumb old buzzard a thank-you.

[Buzz] I should thank you,

for doing all the mystery solving for me.

Hey! I tied you up.

And I untied me up.

See this knife here?

It’s all-purpose, which means it’s got buttons

that will leave you on the wrong side of the lockdown doors

I installed during my breaks.

[beep]

How long were those breaks?

There’s still one way out.

[beep]

[squeaking]

[groaning] Or not.

Oof!

[Buzz] Arrivederci, losers!

[door slams]

I can’t believe it.

I’m always the smartest guy in the room, but that buzzard played me.

[sighs] He played us both.

Right.

This stupid feud between our camps just made us easy targets.

You make it sound like it’s my fault that we’re mortal enemies.

We’re not mortal enemies, Zane.

I always wanted to work together.

Uh, not when we were kids.

Uh-uh. No. You never let me play with you or your friends.

Because you ridiculed us for doing the creative things we wanted to do!

You called me a meathead jerk!

You called me Artsy-Fartsy Angie!

[Zane clears throat]

Anyhoo, we should probably figure out how to get out of here

and get that gold before Buzz does.

[Buzz] ♪ My Bonnie lies over the ocean ♪

♪ My Bonnie lies over the sea ♪

♪ My Bonnie ♪

[thud]

[shovel scraping]

I believe the term is, “Eureka!”

Okay. Here’s the plan.

We build a time machine

and go back to just before I shot the flare gun

through that chimney over the stove.

You guys find your past selves

and warn them to make sure I tie Buzz up just a little tighter, so he can’t escape.

Multiverse.

No.

[Angie sighs]

[Maggie] Just what I thought.

It’s still open. Buzz missed it when he set up his security stuff.

But the hole is too small for even Woody to get through.

Maybe not.

Hey, Woody, remember when we first met you, in the rec room?

Good times. Those were the days.

I’m talking about when you came flying through the wall.

Right! If we strap Woody to the extinguisher

he can smash through the roof, get outside and find some help.

Dry powder propulsion!

Sounds dangerous. I love it.

You said it, sister.

Ready for launch.

During that fist bump, I ran the numbers.

There’s simply not enough distance from the top of the stove to the roof

to generate the kind of force Woody needs to break through.

And it’s way too heavy to move.

[Woody groans]

Not if we move it together.

We got you, Maggie.

[stove creaking]

Now, let’s do this.

[screams]

[extinguisher sputtering]

Uh-oh.

[screams]

[clattering]

[Woody grunting]

[Woody] I’m okay!

This box full of exposed electrical wires broke my fall.

Ooh! This one’s sparking. I’m gonna touch it.

[electricity crackling]

[Woody grunting]

[door creaking]

[sizzling]

[slurring] I don’t know about you, but I am shocked.

[dramatic orchestral music]

Let’s go, bub!

I can’t believe you actually found the gold, you stinkin’ buzzard.

I can’t believe you learned to fly a chopper, you stinkin’ Darren.

[Darren laughs]

[Wally wheezing]

There you… are.

Not now, walrus.

There’s a flight I’ve got to catch.

We got ourselves a bogey, bub. This bird don’t quit!

And this bird’s about to be grounded.

[Woody laughs]

[blows landing]

Come on! Help me grab that chest!

Maybe we can buy Woody some time!

[grunting]

It’s welded shut!

[grunting]

[blows landing]

Not the face!

[J.J.] It’s slipping!

[Orson] I’m trying!

[Maggie] Don’t let go! Don’t let go!

[Zane] Hold onto it!

[Woody shrieks]

What are you waiting for? Get us out of here, bub!

[engine whirring]

[grunting]

[Zane] Hold onto it!

[Maggie gasps]

[Zane] Whoa!

Maggie! [Gasps]

My belt! I’m stuck!

Maggie!

Maggie!

[gasps]

[yelling]

Now, land this chopper.

Not a chance.

[Maggie] Help! Somebody help!

[Woody gasps]

[Maggie] Woody!

Maggie!

Ain’t that a dilemma?

Not for me, it ain’t.

You didn’t think I’d leave you hanging, did ya?

[Maggie chuckles]

Get ready, Zane!

[Zane grunts]

Nice… [grunts]

[Woody grunts]

catch.

Sayonara, suckers!

[gulps]

Did I just save the treasure?

Negative.

But you saved Maggie.

I think that makes you the best teammate ever.

And the best Woo Hooer I ever tried to kick out.

But now there’s no Woo Hoo.

You lost the Games and the gold, all because of me.

He’s right.

I’m sorry, but rules are rules.

Why did I have to let everyone down?

Why?

W-W-Why?

[pecking continues]

Look, everybody.

The statue wasn’t hiding the gold.

The statue is the gold!

[gasps, chuckling]

[pecking]

[laughter]

What?

Hey, Buzz, open the chest.

I want to see all that glittery goodness.

I’m on it, bub. [Chuckles]

Rocks?

[Darren] Of gold?

Nope!

These are just plain rocks!

I thought we were rich!

And I thought you were flying!

[screaming]

[Maggie] Check it out. There’s some kind of inscription.

[sighs] Go on.

[Obadiah] “If you’re reading this,

that means you worked together to find what’s special inside of you.

That’s all I ever wanted for this family.

Sincerely, Obadiah Mallard and his best bird friend who did all the work to carve this, “Woodthalemew Woodpeckerton.”

I have an ancestor?

[sobbing]

[clears throat] Um…

Angie, I, uh…

I just wanted to say…

I’m sorry for accidentally helping a buzzard destroy Woo Hoo.

[Zane clears throat]

And for being a jerk all these years.

Maybe…

And I’m not saying this is true or anything.

But maybe, um, I was jealous, you know, of all that creative stuff you used to do when we were kids.

Maybe… I can’t stress this enough.

This is me throwing things at the wall and seeing what sticks.

But maybe maybe I was just trying to prove to everyone, and to you, that I-I was special too.

[sighs]

[scoffs] So much for being the strong one, huh?

[Zane sniffles]

Admitting you’re wrong doesn’t make you weak, Zane.

And there’s nothing more special than family.

[both chuckling]

[Angie grunts]

[Zane sobs]

Yeah.

[sighs] Yeah.

Yeah.

Thanks, guys.

[scoffs] I guess we both had a lot of growing up to do, huh?

[chuckling]

I wouldn’t have phrased it like that, but you’re welcome.

Okay. Yeah.

And now that we can pay off those infractions, we can do some fixing up around here.

What are you gonna do with your half?

Ooh.

Perhaps you both could make a donation to the Parks and Recrea…

It’s not gonna happen.

Not on your life. Nope.

[laughter]

I have an idea.

[cheering]

After talking things over with Zane, we’ve decided to put our halves of the gold together and make one big camp,

just like Grandpappy Obadiah would have wanted.

A camp for all types of campers.

So we’re getting rid of Camp Woo Hoo and Camp Hoo Rah…

And from now on, it’s Camp Woo Hoo Rah!

[cheering]

Who’s that handsome guy?

And, as promised, it’s time everybody got one of these.

Starting with you, Woody.

Whoa.

You’ve earned it.

[indistinct chattering]

Well, I guess this is goodbye.

Not so fast.

When we first met, you were trying to whittle a catapult, remember?

Vaguely.

It was all lumpy and looked like a deformed…

Okay! I remember.

Woody said you couldn’t make one, so we did.

Rigged for max speed.

With a perfect trajectory.

I ran the simulations.

It’s safe for birds.

But could kill a human.

[chuckling]

I don’t know what to say.

How about… three, two, one!

Whoa! Wait. I-I’m not a hugger.

Okay. Just this once.

[yelling] See you next summer!

[birds chirping]

[Woody yelling] Open the window! Open the window!

Woody? Why are you here?

You’re looking at a team player, Chief.

Boom! Glad to be home.

[laughs]

♪ Runnin’ like a wildfire ♪

♪ Blowin’ like a hurricane ♪

♪ We’re gonna start a fire ♪

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ Goin’ through my mind, insane ♪

♪ Oh, you know You know I just can’t get enough of you ♪

[air hissing]

♪ Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh I got a handle on it… ♪

Where a-are we?

Who cares?

Only thing that matters is we’re free?

[siren wailing]

[police radio chatter]

♪ Get ready for this ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Get ready for this ♪

♪ Are you ready? Are you ready? ♪

♪ Are you ready? ♪

♪ Oh, runnin’ like a wildfire ♪

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ Blowin’ like a hurricane ♪

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ Goin’ through my mind, insane ♪

♪ You know You know I just can’t get enough of you ♪

♪ Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh I got a handle on it ♪

♪ Ooh, uh-huh ♪

♪ Ooh, uh-huh ♪

♪ Ooh, uh-huh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Get ready for this ♪

♪ Get ready for this ♪

♪ Ooh, uh-huh ♪

♪ Oh, you ain’t ready for this ♪

♪ Are you ready? Are you ready? ♪

♪ Are you ready? ♪

♪ Plug in and shout it louder ♪

♪ Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! ♪

♪ Get ready for this ♪

♪ Jump in, it’s getting wilder ♪

♪ Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! ♪

♪ Get ready for this ♪

♪ Plug in and shout it louder ♪

♪ Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! ♪

♪ Get ready for this ♪

[clattering]

[Buzz] Ha! You missed.

[Woody] Did I?

[door opens]

[Buzz] Huh?

[Maggie] Woody!

[Buzz grunts]

[Woody shrieks]

[“The Woody Woodpecker Song” playing]

[Woody screams]

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