The Witches (1990) – Transcript

A recently orphaned young boy is taken to a seaside hotel in England by his grandmother, who is recuperating after an illness.. Also staying at their hotel is a group of witches who have gathered to prepare a plot to rid England of all children.
The Witches (1990)

During a vacation with his grandmother Helga in Norway, 8-year-old American boy, Luke Eveshim, is warned about witches, female demons with a boundless hatred for children and who use various methods of destroying or transforming them. Helga tells Luke how to tell a witch from an ordinary woman: real witches have claws instead of fingernails which they hide by wearing gloves, are bald which they hide by wearing wigs that give them rashes, have square feet with no toes which they hide by wearing sensible shoes, have a purple tinge in their pupils and have a powerful sense of smell which they use to sniff out children; to a witch, children stink of dog’s droppings; the dirtier the child, the less likely she is to smell them. Helga says her childhood friend, Erica, fell victim to a witch and was cursed to spend the rest of her life trapped inside a painting, aging gradually until finally disappearing a few years earlier.

After Luke’s parents are killed in a car accident, Helga becomes Luke’s legal guardian and they move to England. While playing outside in a treehouse, Luke is approached by a witch trying to lure him with a snake and a chocolate bar, so he stays in his treehouse for protection and the witch goes away. On Luke’s 9th birthday, Helga falls ill with diabetes. Her doctor advises they spend the summer by the sea. At their seaside hotel, Luke meets and befriends a gluttonous but friendly boy, Bruno Jenkins. Luke gets on the bad side of the hotel manager, Mr. Stringer, after his pet mice frighten his maid girlfriend. Also at the hotel is a convention of witches, masquerading as the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children. The Grand High Witch, who is the all-powerful leader of the world’s witches, is attending under the name Eva Ernst.

Luke hides inside the ballroom and spies on the witches’ meeting. Eva unveils her latest creation: a magic potion to turn all the world’s children into mice. The potion will be used in confectionery products in sweet shops and candy stores to be purchased using money provided by Eva. Bruno, who was given the potion earlier, is brought into the room, turns into a mouse and flees. Luke is discovered and runs to Helga in their room but finds her resting after having a diabetes-induced dizzy spell. The witches seize Luke in the room and take him back to the ballroom, where he is forced to drink the potion and turned into a mouse before escaping. He finds Bruno and reunites with Helga, who has since recovered. Luke devises a plan to defeat the witches by sneaking into Eva’s room to steal a bottle of the potion, then sneaking into the kitchen and put it into the soup for the special RSPCC party. Luke and Helga try to get Bruno to his parents, but they do not believe her story and are frightened by the mouse.

Mr. Jenkins orders the soup, though Helga stops him from consuming it. The Jenkins’ finally realise Bruno is a mouse when he speaks up. As the witches enter the dining room, Miss Susan Irvine, Eva’s long-suffering and mistreated assistant, quits upon being banned from the celebration. The formula turns all the witches into mice, and the staff and hotel guests join in killing them, unknowingly ridding England of its witches. In the midst of the chaos, Helga spots the transformed Eva and traps her under a water jug before helpfully pointing her out to Mr. Stringer, who chops her in two with a meat cleaver. She then returns Bruno to his bewildered parents. Luke and Helga return home to where Eva’s trunk full of money and an address book of all witches in the United States is delivered, allowing them to plan an operation to wipe out all the witches in America. That night, Miss Irvine, now a good witch, appears and transforms Luke back to human form, and returns his pet mice and glasses. She leaves to pay Bruno a visit, as Luke and Helga wave goodbye.



When your father was a boy like you and living with me here in Norway, I told him about witches, too, so that he would always be aware. Now, the most important thing you should know about real witches is this… now listen very carefully… real witches dress in ordinary clothes and look very much like ordinary women. They live in ordinary houses, and they work in ordinary jobs. Every country in the world has witches. And there is a leader, a high witch of each country. And the ruler of all the witches is The Most Evil Woman in creation… The Grand High Witch… Herself. Witches spend their time plotting to kill children, stalking the wretched child like a hunter stalks a bird in the forest.

Did they hunt you? You said it was an accident.

A very unpleasant accident. You know, when I was younger, I traveled the world in search for the grand high witch, but I never found her. I don’t really believe that anyone has ever found her.

So if no one’s seen the grand high witch, how are you sure she exists?

Nobody’s ever seen the devil, but we know he exists, don’t we?


For all you know, a witch might be living next-door to you.

When I was little, I lived beside a girl called Erica, who was taken by a witch. Erica had very strict parents. But even that didn’t save poor Erica, because when a witch chooses a victim, there is only one hope of escape… knowing everything about them that I am telling you. I’m warning you.

Erica. Come in.

What makes her dangerous is the fact that she doesn’t look dangerous. You can never be sure if it’s a witch you are looking at or a kind lady.

Ah, Erica.

How do you like my new painting?

It’s magnifique, papa.

Go to Larsen’s and buy…  A liter of milk. Hmm?

Ja, papa.

Come straight home.

Ja, da.

Real witches hate children.

Real witches are quite bald, although, of course, they wear wigs…

That itch…

And cause them scalp rash.

Do you know what scalp rash is?


Itching under the wig.

It must drive them crazy.

They look quite hideous behind their human face masks and can only be distinguished from ordinary women if you are sharp enough to spot the purple tinge to their eyes.

Real witches have no toes.

Their feet have square ends, revolting stumps where their toes should be, so they never wear pointed or pretty shoes… just plain, sensible shoes.

Remember these things.

Perhaps if Erica had known them…

Oh, my poor Erica.

For weeks they searched, but witches don’t murder children with knives or guns.

That’s for people who get caught, and witches never get caught.

They searched for miles around.

Everyone in the town searched, but she had completely disappeared.

I was there in Erica’s house six weeks later.

Good day, frau Larsen.

Come in, Helga. Have some cake.

I was her best friend when it all happened.

Then that day, while Erica’s mother was pouring the coffee, her father came walking towards us.

It was as if though he had seen a ghost.

His face was all twisted up as he walked towards the painting behind me.

There, as if it always had been there, was Erica, locked in the painting, gazing at us.



I don’t believe it.

You saw her in the painting, grandma?

Many times.

But the peculiar thing was that little Erica kept on changing her position in the picture.

So one day she’d be feeding the ducks, and the next day she’d be inside the farmhouse, looking out of a window.

Did you see her moving in the picture?

Nobody did.

She was always just a figure, motionless in the painting.

As the years went by,

Erica grew older, too.

And only five or six years ago, the old woman that Erica had become, bent and frail in the painting, began to disappear…

Until one morning, she was gone.

You mean she died?

Who knows?

Mysterious things go on in the world of witches.

Hey, it’s almost 9:00.

Grandma’s been tellin’ me about witches, mom.

And frightening you before you’re supposed to go to sleep.

Good night, darling.

Everything all right, mother?

Very all right.

Go off. Enjoy yourselves.

Good-bye, mom.

Here you go.

Good night, son.

Good night, dad.

No more stories, ok?

Oh, no.

Come on, grandma. Just one more story?

All right, then. One more.

But very short.


Are very cruel.

And they have a highly-developed sense of smell.

A real witch could smell you across the street on a pitch-black night.

She couldn’t smell me. I just had a shower.

Oh, yes, she could.

The cleaner you are, the more a witch can smell you.

That doesn’t make sense.

Oh, yes, it does.

A dirty child, it’s the dirt she smells.

A clean child, it is the child.


I’ll never have a shower again, and I’ll have you for an excuse.

Well, just not too often.

Only once a month is probably safe.

So a witch could smell me right now?

To me, you smell of raspberries and cream, but to a witch, you would smell absolutely disgusting.

What kind of disgusting?

Like dogs’ droppings.

I don’t believe it.

You don’t believe it?

What’s more, to a witch,

you would smell of fresh dogs’ droppings.

That’s not true.

There’s no point in arguing.

It’s a fact of life.

So if you ever see a woman in the street holding her nose as she passes you, she could easily be a witch.

And now it is definitely bedtime.

Good night, grandma.





Frau eveshim, could I come in for a minute?

I’m afraid I have some bad news.

Ja, come in.

Wait here.

Come on.

Come here to me.

Come on.

Let’s cuddle up here.

Sit on my lap, all right?


Shall we bring them to England?


Ja, we’ll do that.

I think they’re very good.

I really do.

Quite a talent there

which I didn’t know anything about.


After the accident, I didn’t take Luke back to America right away.

We went to england, where I had a house, and he started at the school his mother and father had chosen for him before they…


That’s why they wear wigs.

…Before they came to me on their vacation.

They itch and scratch a lot.

I saw a woman yesterday with purple eyes.


Hello, young man.

What a magnificent tree house.

Did you build it yourself?

My dad and I did.

I’ve got something for you here…

Something I think you’ll like.

Jump down, and I’ll show you.



No, thank you very much.

It’s worth a lot of money.

This is private property.

There’s nothing to be frightened of.

I just wanted to give you this.

I found him on my walk.

He’s quite harmless.


Little boys love snakes.

Here, he’s yours.

Grandma! Grandma!

Look, look, look, look, look!

I’ll leave him here if you like.

Then you can come down on your ownand get him. Hmm?

But they wriggle away quite quickly, unless you tell them not to.


Perhaps you’d like some chocolate instead?


She can’t hear you.

What’s your name?

Is it…


Thought so.

Here you are… Luke.

A big bar of chocolate.

If you c…


Luke, it’s dinnertime.


Luke, dinnertime.

Grandma, did you see her?


I think she was a witch.

Gloves, purple eyes.

She wanted me to climb down from the tree, and she hypnotized a snake she wanted to give me.

A real one?

A real snake, yes!

I swear.

Yes, Luke. I believe you.

Close your eyes. No cheating.

To your chair. There we are.

♪♪ Happy birthday to you ♪♪

♪♪ Happy birthday to you ♪♪

♪♪ Happy birthday, dear Luke ♪♪

♪♪ Happy birthday to you ♪♪


Oh, grandma! They’re great!

I’m gonna build them a whole circus, teach them tricks and acrobatics and stuff.

It must be so neat being a mouse.

Just play all day and eat, and then play some more.

I’m gonna rig up a whole room with ramps and…




Your granny has a very mild case of diabetes.

It’s nothing to worry about.

Have a good rest, now, and in a couple of days, you’ll be right as rain.

You’re gonna be better.


I’m putting you on a sugar-free diet.

No cakes, candies, or sugar at all.

Those cigars won’t do you any good.


And there are some more pills to take.

With that and a good holiday by the seaside, you’ll be good as new.

Come on, young man.

Leave your granny to get some rest.

Perhaps you can bring her breakfast in bed in the morning.

By tomorrow afternoon, you can boss her around

like before.

Bye-bye, Mrs. Eveshim.


See you in a couple of days.

Good-bye, doctor.

Can you find your way?


How come doctors speak to everybody

like they’re babies?

I know.

I’m sorry for spoiling your birthday for you and for giving you a fright.

Is it all right

if I play with William and Mary now?

Yes, of course.

Listen, Mary mouse, when grandma gets better, we’re goin’ with her to a hotel by the ocean.

You’ve never been to the ocean.

I’ll tell you, it’s big.

Wow! Look at the hotel, grandma.

It’s not half bad.

Welcome, madam.

Thank you very much.

I think it’ll be a nice day, yes?

Can you manage, Luke?




Come on, dear. There we go.

Oh, welcome, miss Ernst.

Nicola Cole.

I’ve been so looking forward

to meeting you.

You look marvelous.

Wish I could say the same for you.

Ah, miss Ernst.

I am the owner of the hotel.

We’re very happy to have you.

Yes. Delighted. Shall I sign or something?

Oh, no, no, no. No. I’m sure

– everything will be fine.

This is my secretary.

Oh, yes. How are you?

Ah, ladies.

Ina Clay Beckman.

– Indeed.

Julia Whitman.

Julia, yes. Where are you from?

– Dallinger.

Ah, yes.

Lois Leffour from Southampton.


Ohh! Ohh!

In there, I think.

That’s where you must live.

Oh, um, the carpetbag on the bed, please.

I’ll have a wash and brush-up

while you explore the place, Luke.

And then we shall have tea together,

and you’ll show me around, yes?

Thank you.

Don’t lock me out.

I promise I won’t.

You look wonderful, miss Ernst.

Oh, we are looking forward to this afternoon!



What are you doin’?

The raisins are all around

the edge of these cakes.

They’re really good!


My name’s Luke.

Bruno Jenkins.

The cucumber sandwiches are all right, too…

except when they use margarine instead of butter.

How much pocket money do you get?

My dad’s rich, but he’s very tight.

We’ve got three cars.

Hello, boys.

I hope there’s butter in the sandwiches today.

I really do hate margarine.

Ah, you’ve got those excellent cakes again.

There should be 14 of…

Mr. Stringer! Oh! Oh!

Shh, shh. What happened?

I went in to turn down the bed,

and they were there.


White and disgusting little…

now, look. Calm down.

Is this your room?

– Yes.


I see. I’m sorry, madam,

but I cannot permit mice in my hotel.

How dare you say that

when your rotten hotel is full of rats anyway?

Rats? There are no rats in this hotel.

I saw one this morning

running along the corridor into the kitchens.

Madam, you only arrived in the hotel

this afternoon.

Morning, afternoon.

I saw a rat in your hotel,

and if matters do not improve,

I’ll shall have to report you

to the public health authorities.


Madam, I’m not prepared…

the cakes in the lounge

are nibbled all around the edges, too.

I can show you.

If you are not careful, the health people

will order the whole hotel closed before everyone gets

typhoid fever.

You can’t be serious, madam.

I have never been more serious in my life.

Now, will you or will you not let my grandchild

keep his hygienic and perfectly harmless pet mice?

Uh… well…

Well, if they are kept in the cage

and only in this room,

nowhere else in the hotel…


Very well.

Grandma, I can’t train my mice

if they’re in a cage.

Nibbled cakes, indeed.

There were, only it was a boy called Bruno Jenkins.

I’m teaching William and Mary

how to be tightrope walkers.


I brought some of the circus I’m building with me.

Good. Show me.

Let’s see.

Look. I’m planning them a major house.

Rampways here. A bathtub.

This elevator’s pretty neat.

You really did this yourself? It’s good.

It’s really good. I’m impressed.

Of course you must train your mice,

but you must not get caught,

and you must not do it in here,

’cause if that hysterical maid comes back…

Well, now it’s teatime.

I just love English hotel teas.

Cream cakes and shortbread and, uh…

no, grandma.

No cream cakes.

No cream cakes.

And no shortbread, either.

It’s full of sugar. I shall end up eating

the same diet as your mice.

That’s the trouble with this country.

A queue for everything.

Never crossed their mind to have two tea trolleys.

That’d be too convenient for the paying guests, eh?

They’ll want two lumps of ice

in their whiskey next.

They’d queue for their own funerals if they could.

I know that woman from somewhere,

but I can’t for the life of me remember where.

Her face is so familiar.

Which one?

My memory’s going.

But it’s as if I met her before.

She’s probably on TV or something.

Mmm. Cucumber sandwiches.


fish paste.

Grandma, you got the wrong one.

Oh, no. Sugar.

Grandma, sugar can kill you.

I know, but it was very little,

very little, my dear.

Something very odd is going on.

Are you listening to me? You’ll have some fresh air

if I have to take you out by your ear.

We didn’t come here for you to sit eating

and watching telly all day.

Look at the lovely sunshine.

All the other boys are out there playing in the water.

Pick up your knife.

Just like your father.

Good afternoon, madam.

Go on.

You’re sure you’re all right now?

Yes, yes. Fine, fine.

And what are you going to do now?

I’m going to take William and Mary

and explore this place.

All right. Just don’t get into trouble, will you?

I won’t.

Come on.

Excuse me, please.

All right, that’s fine.

Carry on with the rest of them.

No, in the kitchen. In the kitchen.

Wait there.

Great. Now do it again.

Come on, come on.

I’m sure your delegates will be comfortable in here.

If there’s anything we can do,


Come along, Nicola, down in front!

Please don’t hesitate to… To let me know.

Now, drinks will be served on the terrace after…

Fine, fine, fine.

You’ve concluded your meeting.

Um, skies are clearing…

Come on, ladies. Sit.

Sit down.

And we’ve prepared a fine meal for you tonight.

The chef’s special soup…

Hey! Look at her eyes.

Then lamb and fresh raspberries.

Well, I’ll leave you to it.

Fine. Thank you.

Everybody sitting?

Up front, sit down!

Not… yet!

We gotta get out of here.

Come along, ladies.

Sooner you’re ready, the sooner we can start.

Thank you very much for letting me stay, Mr. Stringer.

That’s all right, Elsie.

I’ll lock up.

Oh. Right. Ok.

Then we’ll begin.

You may remove your shoes.

You may remove your wigs.

The doors. Are they locked and bolted?

Locked and bolted, your grandness.

Good. Help me.

No, no, no!


Witches of england…

You’re a disgrace!

Miserable witches.

You’re good-for-nothing worms!

Everywhere I look…

I see the repulsive sight

of hundreds…


Of revolting little children.

I ask you…


One child a week is no good to me!

We will do better.

We will do much better.

Better is no good, either!

I demand

maximum results.


Here are my orders.

My orders are

that every child in england

shall be rubbed out.


Every single child eliminated!

Do I make myself clear?

– Yes.


We can’t possibly wipe out all of them.

Who spoke?

Who dares to argue with me?

It was you?

I didn’t mean to argue, your grandness.

You dare to argue with me?

No. No, honestly. It just was a…

a stupid witch who answers back

must burn until her bones are black!

No! No!

A foolish witch without a brain…

Must sizzle into fiery flame!

A witch who dares to say I’m wrong…

Will not be with us very long!

What the devil?!

I hope nobody else

is going to make me cross today.

– No.



Now, this is my plan.

Each of you

will go back to your homes

and resign from your jobs.

Give notice.



You will then buy

with the money I give you

sweet shops…

Candy stores…

The very best

and most respectable sweet shops in england.

Upstairs I have a trunkload of this English money,

so you’ll be able to offer

three, maybe four times what these shops are worth.

Go, go, go.

On a certain day,

when all our plans are prepared,

you’ll announce a great gala opening

with free sweets, candies, and chocolates

for every child.

Poisoned sweets.

We’ll wipe them out like weasels.

– Who spoke?

She did!

It’s brilliant.


And you don’t mind getting caught?



Well, I just thought…

brainless bumpkin!

You blithering bogvumper!

No wonder england is swarming with…

Everything you sell that day

will have been treated

with my very latest

and very greatest magic formula.

♪♪ Witches work only with magic ♪♪

Hey, wait. Come here.

William. Mary.

Formula 86.

My greatest triumph.

A work of…


Formula 86!

In this bottle,

500 doses

with a delay mechanism

that prevents it from working until two hours

after it has been taken.

What does it do…

Genius one?

– Yes?


– Yes?


One dose, and the time works to the second.

But more than five doses

breaks the delay barrier,

and the formula works instantly.

The child…

Starts to shrink.

– Shrink?


The child…

Starts to…

Grow fur.

– Fur?



Growing a tail.

A tail?

A tail?

All this happens in precisely 25 seconds!

Shrinking more.

The child is no longer a child.

The child…

Is a mouse!

Silence. Silence.

Shut up. Shut up.



This afternoon,

at precisely 4:15,

I put one dose of my formula

on a bar of chocolate.

I gave it to a repulsive, smelly boy

who was in the lobby.

“Was that good?” I asked him.

“Got any more?”

Said the nauseating child.

“Six more bars like that one,”

I told him.

In two minutes’ time,

this appalling, foul-smelling creature

is coming to collect his reward.

In five minutes’ time,

you’ll see my magic formula in action.

We’re going to see.


Wigs! Gloves!

The appalling child will be here…

And you’ll see my miracle.

Come on. Hurry up!

Hurry up!

Come on. That’s good.

Hurry up, everybody.

Come on!

Quickly! Quickly!

You’re not on holiday!

I’m being as quick as I can.

Hurry up!


Hello, little boy.

Come on in, then.

Come on. Wait just there.

One moment.

Now, what’s your name, then?

Br… Bruno.




That lady promised me six whole bars

of cream-whip hazelnut milk chocolate.

I’ve come to collect.


May I introduce Bruno?

Come up, Bruno.

I have the chocolate here.

I said 6:15…

And that is in 15 seconds from now.

You are in for a treat.

We all are!

What’s going on?

Just a few moments.


I can’t even see any chocolate.





We have ignition!

Everybody, look! It’s fantastic!

It’s begun!

I can’t stand it, it’s so wonderful!

Look at you! It’s fantastic!

Where’d he go?






Before the banquet tonight,

you’ll come to my room in groups of 10.

Room number 208.

I will give you each a bottle containing 500 doses.

Also plenty of money.

Do not forget your nose plugs for the dinner.

The dining room will be full of filthy children,

and without your nose plugs,

the stink will be unbearable.

Now we will have drinks on the terrace

with that ridiculous manager.

Are there any questions?

What if one of the chocolates we give away

were accidentally eaten by a grownup?

Then that’s just too bad for the grownup.

The meeting is over.

Until next year.




I smell…

Dogs’ droppings.


She’s right.

Oh! The smell!

Ooh! Yuck!

This really does smell.

She’s right!

Search out this small lump of dung!

Find it!

It must be exterminated immediately!

There he is!

He’s wiggling through!

He’s getting away!

Come here, boy.

Bring him to me!

There he is!

Stop him!

I saw him come this way.

Yes. Where could he be?


Oh, no!

No! My baby!

Stop! Stop!

Oh! My baby!

A baby in a pram.



Oh, no.

Get the boy.

He’s getting away.


Grandma, wake up!

Oh, please, grandma!

My grandma!

An old adversary, I have discovered.

Very old.

If you hurt my grandma…


We got him, madam.

We got him, madam. Oh!

Don’t bite.

Open up.

500 doses.

Come along. Come along. Come on. Up. Up.

– Get up. Get up.

Come on. Come on.


This stinking little carbuncle

has had 500 doses.

We are having instantaneous action.


Kill him.

Kill him!

Kill him!

Leave that little stinkpot!

It’s not worth bothering about.

Come. Some whiskey and champagne to celebrate.


I don’t believe it. I can talk.


Who’s that?

Bruno, it’s me… Luke.

I’m down here.

Where? I can’t see you.

Down here.

You can talk, too.

This is weird.

This icing is terrific.

Are you ok?

They didn’t give me

the six bars of chocolate they promised.

You couldn’t eat six bars of candy now that you’re a mouse.

Don’t be stupid. I’m not a…

Now, just because you’re a…

That doesn’t mean that I’m a, uh…

Good lord.

Hmm. Hmm.

Well, I’m not too keen on being a mouse.

We’ve got to find a way out of here.

How long before we change back, do you think?

I don’t think we will.

Of course we will.

We’ve gotta get upstairs and wake my grandma.

I’m real worried about her.

I mean, maybe it was the witch…

Or maybe it was her diabetes.

I only know she didn’t wake up when I…

she’s got some peanuts, too.

Mmm. Dry roasted?


Oh. All right.

Come on.

William and Mary!

Hi. It’s me… Luke.

Are you two all right?

Crikey! Did they eat the chocolates as well?

They were my pet mice.

But I guess they can’t talk like we can.

Catch you two later.


Come on, Bruno.

This way.





They’re gone.

It’s all clear, Bruno.

Come on.

Wait for me.


Running on a full stomach isn’t good for you.

Better than being caught.

Keep up, Bruno.

Sports give me indigestion.

Get back.

Ok, Bruno, when I say go, go!


– Run!


Follow me.

How are we gonna get upstairs?

I’m sorry.

I don’t know what I’m paying for.

I really don’t. An over-heated room…

Dad? Hey! There’s my dad!

Shh! He doesn’t know what’s happened.

He’ll kill you. Come on!

My own father?

Whoever took the photos in that brochure

should be arrested for fraud.

I’m going to tell him.

He’ll put a stop to it.

No. Not now.

Trust me, Bruno, please.

He’ll stamp on you the moment he sees you. Quick.

It’s so nice not having the kids around.

I smell food.

– Is there anything in this bag?


They’ll be fine.

I think John was getting a cold.

Look, it’s always the same. You must

relax once in a while.

Oh, all right.

This is it. Let’s go.

Oh, no more sports.


Faster. Faster!

Ooh! Ouch!

I forgot my tail.

Ooh. Ohh.

Keep to the side, Bruno.

You know,

being like this might not be so bad.

There won’t be any more school from now on.

That would be all right.

Hey, look at that.

Don’t eat the cheese, Bruno.

Remember, from now on, we’ve got two enemies…

humans and cats.

Yikes! We’ve got three cats at home.

They’ll have to go.

My mother loves them, but she’s terrified of mice.



Take your afternoon off tomorrow.

Oh. Sorry.

Come on, Bruno, let’s go.

What? Hey, wait!

There are four more floors to be done.

– Yes, sir.


You do over there.

No. I’ll get this one.

Shh. Back.

It bit me! It bit me!

– What bit you?

A mouse!

In the towel.

A mouse?

A mouse?

Oh, no.

Is she sober?

Yes, of course she’s sober.

I’ve been with her all aftern…

uh, I… I… i, uh… I saw her…

Yes, she’s sober. Don’t be stupid.

Go and do the second floor.



Here by the phone.

It’s me… Luke.

Are you all right?


It’s me, grandma.


It was the grand high witch.

She’s in this hotel!

Oh, my god!

Don’t cry, grandma.

It’s ok.

Things could have been worse.

I got away from ’em.

I’m still alive.

Oh, my darling Luke.

What have they done to you?

They turned me into a mouse.

Oh, I’m… I’m sorry. I can’t stop shaking.

The grand high witch… here?

There’s hundreds of them…

Right here in this hotel.

I knew it.

I could see it in her eyes.

Oh, lord.

You squashed me.

– Huh?


this is Bruno Jenkins.

I’m sorry…

he said you’ve got dry roast peanuts.

Yes. Oh, yes.

Oh, good. Thanks.

We’ve gotta stop them, grandma.

They leave tomorrow with a bundle of money

and gallons of a formula

that’ll change every kid in england

into a mouse. We must stop them.

– Miss Ernst.


Nice to see a bit of international clientele.

How do you do?

Just flew in, did you?


Jet lag’s the curse of the business classes.

Hope you don’t mind me joining you.

You’re most welcome, sir.

Herbert Jenkins.

I’d like to say hello

to a fellow philanthropist.

You collect stamps?


This rspcc.

What is this rsp…

Cruelty to children!

Oh, of course.

You give money for the little…


And… We, of course,

we also give money for the little…

I see you’re holding your annual meeting.

Funny enough,

I recently addressed the last annual meeting

of our rotary club. I wonder

if you know much about the rotary club

organization in this country?

I could get the formula into their food.

You just have to get me down to the grand high witch’s room,

grandma. I’m ready.

I don’t know.

I’ve gotta find the formula, grandma.

No. This is too dangerous.


It’s not far down, grandma.

You’re asking me to lower you

into the jaws of death.

You two can’t take on the grand high witch.

Yes, we can. We’ve got to.

No one else is going to believe us.

Quick, before she comes back.


Luke, be careful.

Please be careful.

I’ll be careful. Don’t worry.

Not so fast.

Be careful.

I will, I will.

Oh, no.


Luke, what happened?

Are you all right?

Luke? Why don’t you answer?

Down, cat.

No, cat.

Grandma! Help!

Down, cat!

Oh, no. Go, cat.



Get away. Help! Help!

Get him away, grandma! Help, grandma!

Grandma, help!

Help me, grandma!


Grandma, come on! Do something, grandma!

Get it. Get it, cat.

Cat. Cat. Puss. Puss. Puss.

Come here. Take it.


Keep him there, grandma.

Come on, you little kitten.

Come on, pussy.

Keep him busy.

Here. Take it.

Ah, come on. Come on.

Take it, you silly cat.

Don’t let him in, grandma.

Puss. Puss, puss.

Here. Here.


Hang on, tail.

Come on, formula. Where are you?

Come on, come on.

Oh, no.


Oh, no.

It has been unforgettable, Mr. Jenkins.

My pleasure, madam.

What a stimulating conversation it has been.

It’s not every day that one meets a lady

of such quality and… And compassion.


It’s gotta be somewhere up here.

It’s just gotta be.

Whoa! Ohh!


Oh, man.


We’ve got it, grandma.

Did you realize that was Bruno’s father?

What a nasty man.

It’s an act of mercy on my part.


The child will never grow up to be like the father.




– Lipshin?





Was ist das?

Oh. I… I’m so sorry. I… I dropped my knitting.


I’m… I… i’m, uh, knitting something for my grandson.

You haven’t seen him, by any chance?

No, no.

Come, liebchen.

I’m dreadfully sorry.

I do apologize.

That’s quite all right.

If I see your grandson, I will…

I will turn him into a mouse.

And you, meddling old woman,

I will deal with later.


I do hope we’re not the first.

– Miss Ernst!


Who is this?

You told them to come up after the drinks.

Oh. All right. Let them in.

Come in.

You were wonderful this afternoon.


You bad cat, liebchen.

You’re early, in fact.

So… When do you think they’d implement it?

First of the year, I suppose.

She’s a very pleasant woman.

Yes. Now, the question is,

would she like to work with us?

Ow! Oh…


Grandma, grandma! I’ve got it!

I’ve got the formula.

Oh, thank god.

Luke, darling, I was so worried.

There’s 500 doses in this one little bottle, grandma.

It’s enough to change all the witches

in this hotel.

Where’s Bruno?

There’s some jolly good grapes here.

What’s happening?

Nothing until dinnertime.

Now, we’ve got to get you back to your parents.

What time is it?


They’ll be in the bar.

A Sherry and a large malt whiskey and soda at 7:00 sharp.

It gives you an appetite.

Does it?

Come on.

Into my handbag, both of you.

This is going to be difficult.

Oh, I’m full.

After that, we’ve gotta get to the kitchen

as quick as we can.

That tickles.

Is that them?

Yes. Listen, grandma.

Maybe we ought to…


Wait! Listen…

Don’t drown it.

Oh, sorry.

Now look what you’ve done!

She was drowning it.

Are you Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins?

Hole in one, madam.

What can we do for you?

I would like to have a word with you

about your son.

Sit down, sit down.

Now, what’s the little tyke been up to now?

Raiding the kitchen, I suppose.

If we could go somewhere more private…


Well, it is rather a…

Personal matter.

Look, Mrs. Whatever your name is,

if Bruno has broken a window or smashed your spectacles,

I’ll pay for it, but we’re not budging out of this seat.

We always sit at this table.

Where is Bruno, anyway?

You tell him to come here and see me.

He is here already.


In my handbag.

Your son has suffered a mishap.

He has been drastically altered.

Altered? What do you mean, altered?

Well, I’m trying to tell you as gently as possible.

My grandson saw them doing it to him.

Saw who doing what?

Saw the witches turn him into a mouse.

Are you crackers?

Look, get the manager, dear.

Tell them to throw this old nutcase out of the hotel.

You need a funny farm, you do.

Tell them, Bruno.

A mouse!


I can’t stand them! Get it away from me!

It is Bruno. Come on, tell them, Bruno.

Get out of here! How dare you?

Come on. Tell them, Bruno.

It’s Bruno.

It’s me, mum. I…

out! Out! Out before I call the police,

you barmy old looney. Just go on!

– Take your stupid little…

Why don’t they recognize me?

Push off!

Never come back, you stupid old witch!

I did my best, Bruno.

Don’t worry, dear. Just go on.

Evening, madam.

I’m just popping in to turn down your bed.

How is the room service here?



How do you know that woman upstairs?

Come along! Walk downstairs. The elevator is out of order.

Is it?

Must be.

It’s a five-course meal.

Good. I’m rather hungry.




I’d like to go home. That’s what I’d like.

What are you doing here?

The banquet, miss Ernst.

No, no, no! You must go to your room and prepare for…


For tomorrow’s flight. Yes, have a good flight.

But it’s our banquet.

You are not here to enjoy yourself!

You are here as my staff!

Go to your room now.


I quit!

I can’t go through with it.

We could run away, go home, yes?

Grandma, if we don’t try,

every mother and father in england

will lose their kids.

I know.

We must do it, grandma.

8:03 now. 8:15 exactly.

I’ll remember.

Luke, darling, I’m so terrified.

Grandma, now!

No, no, no, madame. Please, no, no, no. I’m sorry.

The dining room is down the corridor.

I am sorry, truly.

The guests are not permitted, madame.

I am sorry, but…

They want more bread rolls. They ready yet?

One moment.

Where are my peas? Where are my peas?

And how is the cress soup for the children’s charity group?

The soup!

Very good, but no more salt.

No more?


Whoa, whoa, whoa.

They’re everywhere!

Chef, table five says the veal’s too tough.

I will take care of this personally.



The rspcc party all want soup.

That’s 87 for watercress.

Debby, bring the soup tureens.

Well, he will adore it now.

The magic touch, n’est-ce pas?






Right, Debbie. I’ll just check the soup before it’s served.

Whoa. Whoa.

Oh. Oh, god.

She’s eating the soup.

I’ll see you later, then.

But we’re short-staffed tonight.

Well, I… I may be a little late.

I can wait.

What is it?


– Ow!

Got you!

A mouse!

It’s a mouse!

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

– Get him off! Get him off!

It’s in me underpants.

It’s running around in me bloody underpants!

For goodness’ sake, get out of the way.


Get it out! Somebody help me!

Take your trousers off, you idiot!

Take your pants off. We have to get to it.

Oh, give me that.

Somebody get it out before it bites me!

Phew! I gotta get out of here.

Somebody, get it out! Oh!

I saw it.

– See it?


There’s nothing much in there.

A lot of fuss about nothing. Christ.

It’s gone.



What kind of soup is that?

That is the cress soup, sir.

Well, if they’re all having cress soup,

I’ll have a cress soup, thank you.

Yes, that soup is specially made for their party, sir.

The soup on the menu tonight is cock-a-leekie,

and very nice it is, too.

Yes, but I don’t want cock-a-leekie.

I don’t like cock-a-leekie.

I like cress. So just

take that back to the kitchen

and tell the chef de cuisine

that there’s one more order for cress soup.

Now, there’s a laddie.

What’s that, then?

Don’t touch it! It’s in the soup!

Don’t touch the soup!



Come along.

Nearly 8:15.

Oh, I can’t believe that she’s still here.

Dear me!

Oh, no, no, no. No, madam, please.

Please. Just a moment.

8:15. I made it!

One more…

one more cress soup, table nine.

Get moving.

Hi, Bruno.

Lovely, isn’t it?


Yes. Red.

I didn’t want to be one of them anywa y.

I’ll bring you your main course.


I put it in the soup.

The whole bottle?

Every drop.

You angel.

You’re bleeding.

One of the cooks tried to cut off

my tail with a carving knife. Look!

The grand high witch is eating the soup!

They all are.

Would you like another roll, sir?

Oh. No, thanks.

I’d like some… Yes.

I’d like some…

I’d like some black pepper, please.

Oh, my god.


Bruno’s father is about to eat the soup, too.

– Stop him!


Oh, so that’s it.

Our wee break, it’s been a nightmare.

At least we got some cress soup.

Don’t touch it!

I told you she was a loony.

She’s an absolute nutter!

Look at my bloody soup!

All that stuff about Bruno!

Bruno has been turned into…

he has not been turned into a m…

Yes, I have. Hello, dad.

Don’t worry, dad. It isn’t all bad…

Well, just so long as the cat doesn’t get me.


No more school, no more homework.

I’ll live in the kitchen cupboard.

No, no, no. This is… This is a trick.

It’s that whiskey.

Hello, mum.

Would you like to know who did this to Bruno?

It’s working!

What’s going on?

Let go of me!

My formula 86!

Give me that spoon!

That woman over there.

She is the grand high witch.

Grandma, she needs more time to become a…

She did it to Bruno…

And thousands of other children before him.

Good evening.

You’re… you’re doomed, old woman!

You’re doomed forever!

It must work, grandma.

Oh, you… aah!


No, Bruno.

– This is it, Bruno.

It worked great.

Come on!

Get the mice!

Get them all! I don’t care how!

Just get them out of here.

Get that one over there. The one in the wig.

The most evil and appalling woman in the world.

A loathsome, hideous disgrace!

Yeah, grandma!

I’m not finished with you yet, old woman!

Next time!


No next time.

This time it’s your turn.

Herbert! Herbert, do something!

Hold still for a second. It’s in your foundation garment.

– Good night.

Good night.



Get that brown one!

No, not that one. The other one, there!

Yeah, there. The one in the tights.

Look, grandma, it’s her.

Get away from me. Get away from me.

Don’t let her get away.

Get away from me!

Hey! Get me out of here! Help!

Get… get out of my hotel!

Mr. Stringer.

Mr. Stringer.

Yes, madam.

There’s an especially infectious one

over there… Under the water jug.

– Thank you, madam.

Oh, it’s a pleasure.

Get away from me!

Get away from me, I tell you. Get away from me!

Get me out of here!

Get away!

Get away from me, I say!



My mum’s not very crazy about mice.

So I see.

Here is Bruno.

Oh. Thank you.

He needs to go on a diet.

Hi, dad. Hi, mum.

No, stop it. Stop it, dear.

Stop it.

This is our Bruno.

Don’t cry, mum.

You’ll get used to me.

Just a minute, grandma.

Bye, Bruno.


Excuse me.

Oh, mum. You always wanted me to lose weight.

Well, look at me now.

There. But I still don’t understand.

I won’t be long.

Come on. This way.

Mice in the main dining room.

Come on, hurry up. Hurry up.

– Your taxi, madam.


Thank you.

Let’s get away!

Put it down, bill. That’s it.

– You all right?


– Can you manage?

Yeah, I’m fine.

Look out. There’s a step.

– Mrs. Eveshim?

Yes, it is.

– There’s a trunk for you.

A trunk?

Will you sign for it?

Yes, all right.

Come in.

Oh, great! Great! It’s arrived!

Don’t open it yet, grandma.

Wait for me.

Put it down there. That’ll do fine.

All right.

Oh, that’s it. Yeah.

Here I come.


– Thank you.

Thank you, madam.

But I still have no idea who it could be from.

This is really gonna surprise ya.

Okay. Open it, grandma.

Yes, but what is it?

Open it.

Money. Luke?

I saw it when I was in the grand high witch’s room.

I figured we could really use it

when we go to America.


Yes. We’ve got to go home because… look!

It was the grand high witch’s.

It has the name and address of every witch in America.

Luke. You are a genius.



♪♪ It doesn’t matter who you are and what you are ♪♪

♪♪ As long as somebody loves you ♪♪

Oh, Luke, what a day.

Perhaps we could find a good witch

to turn you back into my grandson.

I’ll never be able to drive a real car, will I, grandma?

Oh, I don’t know.

How long do mice live, grandma?

I hope we have time to take on those American witches.

Can we go to New York?

I’ve never been to New York.

Can we travel there by ship?

First class.

The best cabin.

The best of everything.

Good night, grandma.

Good night, Luke.

I really am happy to be a mouse, you know.

I know, my darling.


Grandma! Grandma, what’s happening?




Off you go, back home to Luke.

Look, grandma! They’re back!

Don’t forget Bruno!


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