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The Monkey King (2023) | Transcript

Inspired by an epic Chinese tale, translated into an action-packed comedy, a Monkey and his magical fighting Stick battle demons, dragons, gods and the greatest adversary of all - Monkey's ego.
The Monkey King (2023)

Inspired by an epic Chinese tale, THE MONKEY KING is an action-packed family comedy that follows a charismatic Monkey (Jimmy O. Yang) and his magical fighting Stick on an epic quest for victory over 100 demons, an eccentric Dragon King (Bowen Yang), and Monkey’s greatest foe of all —his own ego!

* * *

[mysterious music plays]

[narrator] For thousands of years, Buddha oversaw the universe.

And the Immortal Ones in heaven and kings in hell watched over earthly affairs.

Demons walked among us, and dragons ruled the sea.

Everything was in balance.

We respected the gods, and we followed the rules until the night a magical rock gave birth to a powerful being.

[dramatic music crescendos]

[narrator] Meet

trouble.

[squeaks]

Oh. Ooh.

[squeaks]

[jaunty music plays]

[giggles]

Okay, okay. Attention, everyone.

We have important business to discuss.

I, your Jade Emperor, Architect of the Universe and Lord of the Immortals, shall throw the greatest, most fantastic banquet since the one we did last Tuesday.

Doesn’t that sound fun, hmm?

Understood, Your Majesty.

Now, seating arrangements.

Place the Immortal Ones at my head table.

Minor gods by the kitchen in the back…

[Jade Emperor yells]

[cat meows]

[cat meows]

[monkey screeches]

What on Earth?

[laughs]

[squeals]

[monkey grunts]

[squeals]

Hm, an uncontrollable monkey shooting light beams from his eyes?

He’s probably just excited, Your Majesty.

We can’t have that. Get rid of him.

[deep voice] Patience.

[Jade Emperor shrieks]

Buddha! I didn’t see you there.

[Buddha] This monkey is a powerful being.

He has an important destiny.

Let him find his way.

Very well.

I mean, what’s the worst it can do, right?

Where were we? Ah, dessert!

I’m thinking a ten-foot egg tart sculpture of me.

[suspenseful music plays]

[monkey cackles]

[baby monkey giggles]

[monkey mother coos]

[tranquil music plays]

Ah!

Oh.

[baby monkey squeals]

Oh!

[monkey sighs]

[monkey mother screeches]

A wise monkey never stretches beyond his grasp.

[grunts]

[sighs]

[elder monkey grunts]

Will you let go?

[monkey laughs]

Ow!

Ah. Huh?

As I was saying,

if the coconut is meant for us,

it will be within reach.

Mm. Not today.

Oh!

[monkeys gasp]

Out of the light!

[monkey grunts]

[elder monkey groans]

[monkeys laugh]

[elder monkey growls]

No, no, no, no!

We live in a world of rules and order.

Oh?

Observe.

Think of my palm as our universe.

Compared with this greatness,

one little monkey is an insignificant pebble.

Only the Immortal Ones in heaven are free to live without rules.

Know your place, young one.

Oh!

[young monkeys screech]

[monkey laughs]

[screeching]

[elder monkey] Come back here right this minute!

Out of the light!

[suspenseful music crescendos]

[jaunty music plays]

[monkeys giggle]

Come back!

[growling]

Huh?

[growling continues]

[creature roars]

Run! The demon is here!

Oh.

[gasps and shrieks]

[dramatic music crescendos]

[monkeys screech]

[monkeys whimper]

[sad music plays]

[monkey mother cries]

Your recklessness drew the Demon of Havoc upon us.

You don’t belong here, outsider!

Coconut him.

[tense music plays]

[elder monkey grunts]

[monkey growls]

[monkeys gasp]

[monkey] Hm.

[dramatic music plays]

[monkey] Hm.

[dramatic music continues]

[grunts]

Ha!

Ha!

[rock music plays]

[grunts]

Huh?

[rock music continues]

Ha! [grunts]

[groans and grunts]

[laughs]

[grunts]

[rock music continues]

Hm. Ya!

[grunts]

Pew! Pew!

[grunts]

[rock music continues]

Ha ha! Okay, imaginary family, give me some love.

Oh, too slow.

Mwah!

[gasps]

[elder monkey] Come. Gather ’round, young ones.

Aw.

Feel the safety.

[demon growls]

Huh?

[tense music plays]

[monkey gasps]

Feel your insignificance.

Breathe…

Nap time’s over!

You again?

You’re in danger! Follow me and… [gasps]

[demon growls]

[baby monkey whimpers]

[demon growls]

Ha ha!

Huh?

[monkey grunts]

[demon growls]

I, uh, thought that would play out differently.

[monkey yells]

[dramatic music plays]

[baby monkey shrieks]

Come on! It’s getting away!

You fool! You think you’re some kind of hero?

But I can beat that thing.

And save the baby?

Sure. If there’s time.

With what? Coconuts?

Coconuts are no threat to the Demon of Havoc.

He could get a weapon.

Ha. From where?

Oh, oh, I know! From the Dragon King.

Yeah, the Dragon King.

[scoffs] At the bottom of the sea?

If you go out there, you will die.

[scoffs] Says you.

Crazy fool!

One weapon coming right up.

[mysterious music plays]

[henchman 1] Coming to the stage, let’s give it up for…

[henchman 2] The reptile of style.

The overboard overlord.

With the sweetest vocal cords.

[both] The Dragon King!

My loyal subjects…

this grand column has stood here since the dawn of time.

It has waited patiently for the mightiest, fiercest rebel

with the best style, of course,

to free its monumental potential.

That rebel is me!

My gorgeous machine will unleash the column’s power

to create the greatest storm the world has ever seen.

[tranquil music plays]

Wow!

[column hums]

You talk?

[humming continues]

You’ve been waiting for me? How long?

[column hums]

Well, five minutes isn’t…

Five thousand years?

The days when sea creatures are looked down upon

by those air-breathing dry-landers are over!

[creatures chatter]

[tranquil music continues]

[column hums]

You’re looking for the most powerful being?

No way! I’m actually on a quest for the ultimate weapon!

What are the odds, man?

[column hums]

There’s gotta be some way we can help each other.

If you were just a little smaller, maybe I could…

Oh, whoa!

Let our conquest begin!

But first, a song. And five, six, seven, eight!

Huh?

Whoa!

Is this part of the show?

What is happening?

[henchman 2] Look out!

[Dragon King] Someone’s stealing the grand column! Is that a monkey?

[tense music plays]

[monkey laughs]

Whoa!

You are incredible!

[dramatic music crescendos]

[cuttlefish] Excuse me, sire, but…

Zip it. I have a call to make.

[jaunty music chimes]

[serene music plays]

I demand satisfaction.

Oh, it’s you. What is it? I’m busy.

A monkey stole my grand column.

So?

So? Someone could do a lot of damage with that thing. Theoretically.

You’re a king. You handle it. I believe in you.

Perhaps you could escalate this to the big guy? Delegate up?

Ah, let’s see. “Dear Buddha.”

“Remember that stone monkey you said to leave alone?”

“Well, it took a stick. We’re all scared. Please save us.”

No. Not happening.

Very well. I shall take things into my own claws, and woe to those that… Oh!

Ugh!

So it’s the monkey who’s the mightiest, fiercest rebel.

With the best style.

Yeah. And he swiped the one thing you need to take over the world.

What a guy!

[growls]

[cuttlefish] Oh no!

Any other comments? Input? Friendly feedback?

Not me.

Mm-mm. Nope.

No? Then draw me a bath!

[monkey 1 gasps] The outsider’s back.

[monkey 2] He didn’t die.

[monkey 3] He got a weapon.

[scoffs] He got a stick.

[gulps]

We can do this, right?

[Stick murmurs]

[tense music plays]

[monkey panting]

[Stick murmurs]

Hold on? What do you mean “hold on”?

Whoa!

[monkey yells]

[monkey groans] Ow!

[Stick murmurs]

Wow!

[baby monkey whimpers]

[baby monkey squeals]

Shh!

Stay here and keep a lookout.

[Stick murmurs]

Just hang on.

[monkey grunts]

[tense music plays]

[monkey grunts]

[Stick murmurs urgently]

[demon growls]

[Stick murmurs]

I am hurrying.

[Stick shouts]

If you’re so smart, you do it.

[monkey gasps]

[baby monkey squeals]

[demon roars]

[monkey yells]

[baby monkey squeals]

[demon growls]

[monkey gasps]

[monkey grunts] Stick, where are you?

[Stick murmurs]

[monkey gasps]

[monkey gasps]

[baby monkey squeals]

[demon growls]

[Stick hums]

Not that way!

Wait! What are you doing?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

[monkey grunts]

Monkey.

You’re just making it angrier.

Stop, Stick!

[monkey grunts]

[dramatic music plays]

Come back, Stick!

[monkey yells]

[Stick hums]

[monkey panting]

[dramatic music continues]

[monkey grunts]

[baby monkey shrieks]

Oh yeah! Awesome. I get it now.

Hee-yah!

[monkey laughs]

[demon growls]

Oh!

[laughs]

[exciting music plays]

[demon snarls]

[exciting music continues]

Wave bye-bye to the nice kitty.

Hee-yah!

What?

[slurps] Ah.

[demon grunts]

[tranquil music plays]

[cat meows]

[demon roars]

Bad kitty god! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

[monkeys chanting] Monkey King! Monkey King!

“Monkey King”! Yes.

I like it. Has a nice ring to it.

The ultimate weapon for the ultimate hero!

[elder monkey] Absurd!

You’re a tiny pebble, remember?

He doesn’t love you.

He just wants you to love him!

You’ll never be one of us.

You’re a selfish, rebellious fool,

who will end up all alone.

Hmm.

[Stick murmurs]

[scoffs] I’m not alone. I have my Stick.

That weapon should be wielded by one of the Immortal Ones.

So wait. You’re saying I should be an Immortal One?

What? No!

Ah, that’s interesting.

They do whatever they want up there, right? That’s me.

No rules. Me again.

[monkeys murmur]

Best weapons? Uh-huh. Very much us.

[Stick murmurs]

You’re right. I don’t belong here.

I belong with them!

[monkeys cheer]

[monkeys] Monkey King!

They’d never accept the likes of you.

I conquered a demon.

You’d have to defeat a hundred demons to even get their attention.

Oh yeah.

[elder monkey scoffs]

I suppose you’re right.

[scoffs] Of course I’m right.

One hundred demons coming up!

[heavy metal music plays]

[screeching]

Whoa!

[Monkey King] Uh-oh. Agh!

[screeching]

[Monkey King gasps and yells]

[heavy metal music continues]

[Monkey King grunts and gasps]

♪ Who’s the handsome hero We all love and adore? ♪

♪ Monkey King! ♪

♪ Who has demons screaming When he knocks on their door? ♪

♪ Monkey King! ♪

♪ Who’s a mighty fighter Who is brave and spunky ♪

♪ And also a bit of a hunk? ♪

♪ He’s the Monkey King! ♪

♪ Who’s the ape you can’t escape When he hunts you down? ♪

♪ Monkey King! ♪

♪ Who’s the chimp All the simple people will crown? ♪

♪ Monkey King! ♪

♪ Who’s the simian you’ll find shimmying Up to the top ♪

♪ And you know he won’t stop Till he’s won? ♪

♪ That’s right, it’s the Monkey King! ♪

[Monkey King] Ha ha!

Ninety-nine demons down. One to go.

Hey, hero here.

[ominous rattling]

Once-in-a-lifetime hero meetup.

[ominous rattling]

Where is everyone?

[girl gasps]

Huh?

Anyone need a hero?

[woman 1] Go away!

[woman 2] Leave us alone!

[man] You’ll get us killed!

Name’s Monkey King.

AKA the Simian Savior. AKA the Legendary Demon Slayer.

And Stick.

Our amazing skills include pole-fighting, punching,

kicking, a kick-pole punch combo, the double-kick with or without Stick,

or the ever-popular fake kick with a spinning pole.

[Monkey King yells]

Huh! Yeah!

[girl] Huh?

Monkey King?

I’ve never heard of you.

Well, I’ve never heard of you either.

[Stick murmurs]

This village needs one of the Immortal Ones.

Not a monkey with a fancy stick.

[Stick murmurs]

This dump counts as a village? Come on!

He’s just gonna make it worse.

[scoffs] Get rid of him.

Well, thanks for stopping by.

I don’t think you’re getting how great I am…

He’s the real deal, folks. A living legend.

I am? I mean, of course I am.

If you’ve got a demon situation, this is your guy.

Huh?

Where did you even come from, kid?

I’ve never seen her before, and I’m the mayor’s wife.

I know everyone!

You’d better get to know us. Unless you wanna be demon dumplings.

Aiya.

Okay. Whisper time.

Maybe the demon will eat the monkey.

And leave us alone.

Either way, we win.

Oh, I like it. Break!

Brave warrior.

My poor, dear child was just kidnapped.

Every rainy season, the horrible fire beast descends…

Fire beast? That’ll be a hundred demons.

[Stick shouts]

I’m in. Okay, desperate peasants.

Where’s he going?

Let’s talk about my ascension ceremony.

Ascension ceremony?

Your what?

My big victory party.

How else will the Immortal Ones know it’s time to come get me?

Okay, I’ll need a 35-piece orchestra.

No!

A 100-person dragon dance.

No dancing.

And a huge fireworks extravaganza.

My fireworks? Too expensive.

Unfortunately, ours is but a poor rice-farming village.

Yeah, poor.

[girl scoffs]

How insulting. Come on, King. We’re walking.

Stop them!

Uh, uh…

Please, won’t you and your assistant reconsider?

Assistant? I don’t know this person. Who are you?

Only your number one fan.

I mean, this guy took down the white bone demon,

the red bone demon, and the bone demon of no specific color.

We could sing songs about you, and I’ll give you a grand speech.

And?

Uh, name a street after you?

And?

And?

Oh, oh, oh, oh, a big, fat shiny medal of solid brass.

Ooh, that will impress ’em. Okay. Next up. What’s in it for my trusty companion?

The girl?

No! My wondrous stick.

What’s in it for him?

Um, what does it want?

What do you want? A guitar.

But your stick can’t play the guitar.

[Stick groans]

Huh?

[Stick murmurs]

And ten free guitar lessons.

Um, done?

Done.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Done.

[roaring]

[Mayor’s wife] Uh-oh.

The fire beast is outside.

Please don’t let it hurt my innocent little child!

Don’t worry.

The quicker I slay this fire demon, the faster we get to celebrate me.

[girl] Hm.

[child whimpers] Please let me go!

[fire demon] Silence or I shall devour you!

Hey. I see you, demon.

Huh?

Hee-yah!

[Monkey King grunts]

Uh-oh.

Ow!

What are you doing?

Joining the Immortal Ones, duh.

What?

Daddy! The demon was so mean!

There, there.

Wait. He’s the kid?

What took you so long?

We had to find a hero.

You’re the worst daddy ever.

[Mayor] Now, son, don’t hit Daddy.

Where’s my snack? Hey! Ow!

Oh dear.

What?

[Monkey King] That was for free.

How dare you challenge Red Girl, Monkey King?

What’s a Red Girl?

I am Red Girl!

[distorted] Quake in my presence and bow to my awesome power!

Hey, Red Girl, leave these poor, unattractive people alone.

But the kids are ripest this time of year.

Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.

[shrieks] Daddy!

So yummy!

[dramatic music plays]

Okay, Monkey King, what’s the play? Are you gonna…

Okay, little girl. I can take it from here.

Ha! [yells]

Get her, Monkey King!

[exciting music plays]

[Monkey King grunts]

[Red Girl] Hey, cut that out!

Behave!

Hey, you’re a little scrawny for number 100, but we’ll make it work.

Hai-yah!

[Monkey King laughs]

[exciting music continues]

Bad monkey!

[Monkey King] Like I care!

[Red Girl snarls]

Don’t give up now. Ha! You’re doing great.

[Red Girl gasps]

[Monkey King laughs]

Hey, stop that! Ugh!

Congratulations! The Monkey King’s last victim.

You’re gonna be famous. Ow!

[Red Girl yelps]

Uh-oh.

Stick!

[Stick murmurs]

Goodbye, Monkey! [laughs]

[Monkey King yells]

[Monkey King] Yes!

[yells] Frustrated!

Bam!

[Red Girl yells] Whoa!

That Monkey’s gonna burn down the whole village.

Come on, everyone. [grunts]

[man] Come on!

Hai-yah!

Agh! My fireworks shop!

[grunting]

[screaming]

Over here.

Water coming up.

Toss it, kid.

[grunts]

[Mayor’s wife grunts]

[tense music plays]

Ooh, ooh.

Eat fire, loser!

Back at ya.

Whoa! [shrieks]

Do you really think you can defeat me?

No. I know it. [yells]

And for the beef dish, sire,

lettuce-wrapped or skewers?

[yelps]

Skewers it is.

[Monkey King] Incoming! [laughs]

[Red Girl screams]

Daddy, I’m hungry!

Now, son…

[screams] It’s the monkey!

Not my house!

[Monkey King laughs]

[Mayor sobs]

[Monkey King laughs]

[Red Girl laughs]

Creepy.

Oh! Stick!

Burn, Monkey, burn!

[Red Girl laughs]

Boom!

What a team!

Where did you get that stick?

It’s fantastic!

[Stick murmurs]

Good idea, Stick. Hey, you want it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah! Gimme, gimme, gimme!

If you can hold it for ten seconds, it’s yours.

[Red Girl] One, two…

Four… Seven…

[Red Girl] Four… Seven…

Five.

[Red Girl] Stop!

[Monkey King] Four… Eight…

[Red Girl] One… Two…

Three… [yells]

You let go!

[Stick murmurs]

Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo-hoo!

Yes!

Mwah!

One-hundredth demon vanquished!

Monkey King reigns supreme!

[Stick protests]

And Stick.

Incredible. You got her to fall right into your trap.

I will learn so much from you.

[groans] You’re still here?

Please. My name is Lin.

I am but a lowly peasant girl from a tiny village

who hopes to make a difference someday.

I offer my skills as your humble assistant and weapon-bearer.

Wow. My own assistant?

Hard pass.

This monkey heroes alone.

Oh.

So, you got my big victory speech ready, right?

Um, well, I…

Well, then, grab yourself a scroll and take notes because it’s,

ha, party time!

[Mayor’s wife] Crazy monkey!

[villagers scream]

Kaboom! Yeah!

“How fortunate we poor ignorant villagers…”

Hm?

Mm-hm.

“…are tonight to witness

the mighty Monkey King’s heavenly ascension

to join the Immortal Ones.”

“He saved our town.”

Sort of.

[Stick murmurs]

“He is the bravest, most spectac… spectac…”

Are you sure?

It’s a word.

“…spectacul-errific-amazing-derful hero

the world has ever known.”

“Wait for applause.”

[light applause]

Whoo! Monkey King!

“And now a song.”

“Music and lyrics by a handsome artist who, um, wishes to remain anonymous.”

[Monkey King laughs]

Hm.

♪ Who’s the handsome hero We all love and adore? ♪

♪ Monkey King! ♪

♪ Who has demons screaming When he knocks on their door? ♪

♪ Monkey King! ♪

♪ Who’s the simian you’ll find shimmying Up to the top ♪

♪ And you know he won’t stop Till he’s won? ♪

♪ That’s right, it’s the Monkey King! ♪

Eh, you were a little flat. Ya!

[Lin] Yeah! Monkey King!

[Dragon King] Hm. It appears the ape didn’t succumb

to our fiery little minx as I’d hoped.

Time to move.

Are you sufficiently moisturized, Your Grace?

You know what happens in the dry night air.

[Dragon King] Hm. Good point.

[Dragon King sighs contentedly]

Onward!

[henchmen panting]

Here’s your medal.

Yes.

So, where are the Immortal Ones?

Yeah, we were promised gods!

They’re coming. Move.

[Mayor yelps] Ouch!

[clears throat] One hundred demons defeated.

Wow. What an accomplishment.

The Immortal Ones can welcome me with open arms now.

I said now!

Now? Hello? This thing on?

[thunder crashes]

They’re here! See, peasants!

Behold as I ascend!

[Dragon King] You!

Ho ho!

Huh?

You are no hero!

You’re a thief!

Aw, you’re not the Immortal Ones.

Uh-oh.

That is mine!

What’s wrong, Stick? You know this chump?

[Stick groans]

Stick? You never talked to me.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Who are you anyway?

I am the undersea ruler of the…

What?

Oh, look at his face.

[Dragon King coughs]

Low humidity. Arid climate.

[villagers] Ew!

Don’t look at me! No, no, no. Be right back.

[Dragon King sighs]

[Dragon King] So invigorating.

…undersea ruler of the dragon kingdom.

What? Come on.

And you, sir, stole my stick.

No, I didn’t. I found it at the bottom of the ocean.

Right in the middle of some tacky palace.

Tacky? Once I reclaim my stick,

you and all these air-breathers will suffer my… my…

Again?

Arid climate. No. Look away!

[water splashes]

[Dragon King sighs]

…suffer my wrath!

[dramatic music crescendos]

There’s supposed to be a lightning crash.

And there it is. [laughs]

Hey, Babbo, how will we know when we’re under the stick?

Easy. The stick will be right above us.

How will we know we took the right stick?

[scoffs] There’s only one choice.

But what if we choose wrong, Babbo?

Look at that armor.

Who even wears brass with gold?

Look, buddy, I hear ya. You love my stick. Everyone loves the stick.

But no one appreciates the stick like I do.

[Stick murmurs urgently]

Quiet! The grown-ups are talking.

And now you’re ruining my exclusive ceremony.

Point is, Stick is not going anywhere.

Ain’t that right, Stick? Buddy?

[henchman 2] Ow!

Uh-oh.

Hey, are they with…

[dramatic music plays]

Stick, stay strong! I’m coming!

Oh no!

[henchmen laugh]

[henchmen yell]

[henchmen groan]

[Monkey King] Hang on, Stick!

Woo-hoo!

[exciting music plays]

[henchmen groan]

What? [groans]

[henchmen groan]

[henchmen yell]

Babbo, I’m gonna get sick!

Stick, left!

[henchmen groan]

And to the right!

[grunts]

Ha ha! You missed!

[henchmen yell]

[exciting music continues]

Stick, darling, it’s Dragon.

He’s mine!

Jump in the tub!

He only listens to me, flaky.

I don’t see a ring on it, honey! [grunts]

Itching! Flaking!

[exciting music continues]

[grunts]

[laughs]

Huh.

[dramatic music plays]

Of course! An avalanche.

Hit the brake!

[Monkey King] Fun ride, huh?

[henchmen groan]

[Monkey King] See ya!

[henchman 2] Babbo!

[Babbo] Curse you, gravity!

Ha ha! Monkey King reigns supreme!

Huh?

[Dragon King] Stick!

Catch me!

My palace is not tacky!

[Stick hums]

[Lin panting] Gotcha!

[grunts]

Dragon King?

[Lin] Agh!

Fear not, little girl. The villain is gone.

Maybe you’re not as useless as I thought.

So, do I have the job?

Um…

Nope.

[Lin] Oh, come on.

Twenty minutes, and still no invite from the Jade Emperor.

What am I missing?

[murmurs]

Immortality! Of course. It’s right in the name.

To become an Immortal One, I need immortality!

[Lin] Maybe I can help.

[Monkey King groans]

Okay, look, kid. You see this?

Your palm?

No! I mean, yes. But no. This here is me.

Okay?

And this tiny thing is you.

Get it now?

Huh?

[Monkey King] I’m the universe hand,

and you’re an insignificant, useless pebble.

Even a tiny pebble can make a big ripple, you know.

[scoffs] That’s just what a tiny pebble would say.

So, Stick, immortality, where do we go?

[Stick hums]

Really? Huh.

But how do we get there?

[Stick hums]

A graveyard? Spooky.

Huh…

Grave… Gra…

Graveyard.

You can’t read.

Of course I can.

That’s grass. That’s the sky. That’s a rock. See? Reading.

Graveyard’s that way.

Obviously.

[Stick hums]

No, no, no, no, no. We don’t need her.

He wants me to come. Doesn’t he?

Just go home, kid.

I can’t go home. There’s trouble back there,

and it made me do some things.

Things I probably shouldn’t have done.

Ooh! You killed someone?

No!

Oh.

I just wanna do big things someday. Like you.

Ow!

[Stick murmurs]

I know. No. I…

[Stick murmurs]

Yes, but…

[Stick murmurs]

How much reading could we possibly need?

[Stick murmurs]

Fine. I said fine! [sighs]

So, assistant girl,

you coming or what?

[Lin] So, where to next?

[Monkey King] Oh, you’ll see. [laughs]

[Monkey King] Ooh.

In there? Us? How?

This. It’s like an all-access VIP pass.

Any realm, any dimension. Even the Land of the Dead.

But you’re not dead.

And if all goes well, never will be.

Okay. If we’re gonna fit in, we gotta dress the part.

[coughs] What the heck?

[Monkey King] Not heck.

Hell.

[Lin screams]

[suspenseful music crescendos]

[Lin screams and groans]

Try to keep up.

[grunts]

Are we even supposed to be here?

Absolutely not. Isn’t it great?

See, the day you’re supposed to die

is recorded in the Scroll of Life and Death.

But if my name should somehow get crossed out,

then no death registered, and guess who’s immortal?

Me! [laughs]

[shudders]

One more thing. Die in hell, stay in hell. So don’t die.

This is a bad idea.

[demon] Next.

[ghosts whisper]

Act like a ghost.

Whoo! Eee!

Oh yeah. Great. You’re giving me chills.

King here! Coming through!

Make way.

Next! Release form. [groans]

You brought a live chicken to the underworld?

No living things allowed!

We really should go now.

[scoffs] Watch and learn, Pebble.

[chicken squawks]

Oh no.

That’s better. Pit of Infinite Agony. Fourth floor on your right. Next!

Yes, good morning.

I’d like a quick glance at the Life and Death Scrolls.

Release form first.

It’s in my other armor?

Rejected! [growls]

Release form.

Back to the world of the living.

Not so fast.

As my assistant, your first duty…

[Lin groans]

…is to be the sacrificial lamb.

What are you doing?

She’s alive? Here in hell?

What?

You’re alive!

How scandalous!

And you cut in front of all these people?

What?

No living things allowed!

Oh, Monkey!

[Monkey cackles]

Uh, uh, I… I’m not…

I couldn’t be more dead. Fresh corpse here.

How did you die?

Old age. No, I mean scurvy. Earthquake?

A duel. Two duels.

Here’s the story.

I fell… off a cliff into a hole filled with sharks.

Rabid sharks.

And then a house fell on me,

and I drowned. Yeah.

Okay, you’re in.

Chamber of Ridiculous Deaths.

Fifth floor down the hall.

[gasps] Hm.

Next!

[Lin panting]

[ominous music plays]

[Lin grunts]

[grunts]

[screams]

[ghost] What a guy.

Hey!

[screams]

Monkey! You abandoned me in the middle of hell.

You don’t leave a teammate behind.

What teammate? You’re an assistant. An insignificant pebble.

Stop calling me that.

Absolutely.

As soon as you find my scroll so I can cross my name off. Come on.

[Lin groans]

[metal clangs]

[grunts] This shouldn’t take long.

[Lin gasps]

[Lin] What?

Get reading.

[whistles]

What’s your family name?

Don’t have one. I was born from a rock.

A rock?

More of a rock egg. The scrolls list your family history.

I must have parents, right?

Well, I guess.

Everyone does.

Ha! Looking for your scrolls? [laughs]

My scroll? Why does he have my scroll?

You don’t belong here,

outsiders.

Oh ho! Time to defeat demon 101.

[demon] Mighty brush! Stamp of doom!

Open! Hyah!

[clone 1] Don’t let them get away!

[clone 2] Capture them!

[clone 3] Stop the monkey!

Through 115.

[clones grunt]

Clones, eh?

[Stick murmurs]

I can? Really? Cool!

[exciting music plays]

[Monkey King grunts]

Monkey King reigns supreme!

[demon clones grunt]

[Lin yelps]

[Monkey King grunts]

[clones grunt]

Bring it! [grunts]

[Monkey King] Woo-hoo!

[grunting]

Not the beard!

Woo-hoo!

Next!

[Monkey King grunts]

[Monkey King laughs]

[Monkey King] Shaolin soccer! [yells]

[Lin yelps]

[demon grunts]

Wait! Time-out. I’m not a part of this.

Nobody’s on the bench!

[Monkey King] Woo-hoo!

[Stick murmurs]

[demon] Get her!

[Monkey King] Duck!

Got ’em.

[Lin yells]

Monkey, I got ’em. This one’s mine. Huh?

Hey! Not yours!

What’s it say about my family? [yells]

It says

you don’t have one.

Oh. I’m all alone?

I’m sorry, Monkey.

Which means…

[demon grunts]

Oof! I’m an original!

One of a kind!

Give me that scroll.

Third line from the bottom.

Step away from the scroll, you flea-bitten, mortal lowlife! Close!

Come on!

[Lin whimpers]

[Monkey King] Uh-oh.

[Lin screams]

Got it.

[grunts] Yeah, baby!

Monkey King!

Oh, her.

[demon laughs]

Ow! That hurt.

[Monkey King] Hee-yah!

[demon groans]

[Monkey King laughs]

And now I’m immortal!

[Lin screams]

[dramatic music plays]

Even for hell, this is bad.

[serene music plays]

What’s up, Yama? Or should I say, what’s down? [laughs]

I beseech you. A rogue primate has invaded hell and… Ow!

Hey, uh, Jade Emperor, right? Listen, great news.

Get the Immortal Ones together. I’m on my way. We’re gonna be neighbors.

So you’re the Monkey King.

Gonna party at your banquets.

Get hammered.

Release form!

We’re gonna share battle stories.

Please. You’re not one of us.

Actually, I am. Crossed my name out and everything.

That only makes you half-immortal.

Half?

You can’t die of old age.

Oh, that’s great!

But you can still die in battle.

Huh?

[Stick murmurs]

Don’t look at me. This was your plan.

Well, this is new information.

So, how exactly does one get full immortality?

You don’t. Not possible.

Well, there is The Book of Everlasting Life, my lord.

You shut your beard hole right now!

My bad.

Stick, door!

[Stick murmurs]

Assistant, book!

Monkey, stay handsome.

[Stick murmurs]

[Lin grunts]

[Monkey King laughs]

[Yama groans]

Whatever you do, don’t let him leave with that book!

Let’s go.

Oh! Don’t!

[Lin groans]

Uh-oh.

[grunts]

[Monkey King yelps]

[dramatic music plays]

[Monkey King yells]

[Yama grunts]

[Monkey King] Make way!

[Lin yelps]

Catch him! Catch him!

[Monkey King laughs]

[Lin] Agh!

[dramatic music continues]

[grunting]

[Lin screams]

[Monkey King] Hee-yah!

[Lin screams]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Monkey!

[dramatic music fades]

Ha! Well, that was fun. You got the book?

Uh, um, uh…

You didn’t lose it, did you?

Uh, uh…

You had one job!

One job and you blew it!

Uh…

Aha!

Just messing with you!

Do you treat all your friends like this?

Friends? Whoa, okay. You’re more like a teammate on my very critical mission.

Well, that’s better than a pebble.

All right. Moving on. See this?

This book can tell us how I can get my full immortality.

Uh…

What’s it say?

Okay. Uh, it says…

Oh. “Full immortality can be attained by eating a magical peach

from the Enchanted Orchard of Everlasting Life.”

Ooh! Where’s that?

This could take a while.

And I will give you five minutes.

[Lin groans]

[suspenseful music plays]

This monkey’s insane.

Oh really?

He gets in fights, insults the gods.

He just stole a book from hell! Oh yeah, did I mention? We went to hell!

Okay, let’s bring the sass down to, like, a four, okay, sweetheart?

I can’t keep this up. I can’t do this.

Listen, honey, we made a deal.

There’s no backing out now.

Or did you forget?

[sighs] I remember.

[Lin] I beseech you, divine dragon.

End our suffering.

Our crops are dying.

Could you please grace us with a rainstorm?

[groans] We’ve been searching forever!

What?

Why aren’t the “wanted” posters working?

But we put them up everywhere, Your Grace. There’s one.

[Dragon King] Huh?

What is this?

I told you to draw the monkey, you dimwit!

But, sire, monkeys are so much harder to draw than sticks.

No, wait, wait!

[yells] What the…

[gasps] Divine Master of Weather. Thank you for answering my call.

How dare you, a mere mortal, speak to his lordship.

Avert your eyes.

[Lin] My apologies.

We have no food here. No water.

Could you please, please send us rain?

Well, aren’t you a presumptuous little snack.

Wait, please!

I’ll do anything. You must need something. An assistant. A servant.

A human servant? Ha!

He already has two perfectly good and trusted advisors.

We carry his tub.

[laughs] No!

No. But perhaps our monkey would.

Monkey?

Would you lie for me? Get your paws dirty?

You’ll have to be manipulative, vicious, and cunning.

Do you have that in you, you scrumptious, sweet little thing?

[Lin whimpers]

Because when you make a deal with me, you follow through or…

[licks lips]

It’s chapped lips for you! [laughs]

Benbo, he eats her.

Oh! Yeah, that too. [laughs]

Okay. I accept.

Befriend a certain monkey, earn his trust, and take his stick.

When it’s in my possession,

you’ll get your rain.

He never lets the stick out of his sight.

The sooner it’s in my grip,

the faster you’ll get your drip, drip, drip.

Well, now he’s got me searching this stolen book

for some Orchard of Everlasting Life.

He’s still trying to join the Immortal Ones? [laughs]

What a fool.

What should I do?

Hm. He wants an enchanted peach now, does he?

Oh, well, I’ll just have to put on a little show and give him one. [laughs]

All you need to worry about is getting him there.

[Lin yelps]

[Monkey King grunts]

[Lin screams]

You sure this is the right way to get to that fancy peach orchard?

Yeah, definitely.

[Monkey King grunts] Woo-hoo!

[Lin] Do you have to go top speed?

This? Ha! Please.

I’ll show you top speed.

No, no, no. I…

Hey!

Now, any personal assistant of mine really needs to be in the moment.

Yeah, yeah.

You need to be more focused and pay better attention.

[Lin screams]

[Lin grunts]

[Lin grunts]

[Lin panting]

I need to know you’ll always have my back.

Monkey!

[groans]

He’s coming back. He’s coming back.

[Monkey King] And my shoes perfectly shined.

He’s not coming back!

It’s the attention to detail that I value most.

Hee-yah!

[Stick murmurs]

Where to next? The hills? The desert?

[unsettling music plays]

Aw, man!

[sighs]

Trees.

So many trees.

I could’ve died peacefully in my village, but, no!

[gasps and whimpers]

Chamber of Ridiculous Deaths, here I come.

♪ Who’s the handsome hero We love and adore? ♪

♪ Monkey King! ♪

Man, that’s really catchy.

[groans]

Help!

[grunts and sighs]

[Lin screams]

[Lin groans]

Where is she?

[Lin screams]

Oh, there you are. Did you hear any of my performance evaluation?

[Stick murmurs]

You are crazy!

And handsome.

If you’re gonna be critical, be fair.

Places, everyone. Places!

Almost showtime.

Buzz for me, Babbo. Buzz!

[groans] Must I, sire?

Come on. Sell it.

Look at my little stinger!

I’m adorable!

All right, Benbo, less is more.

He’s never gonna buy this.

Does this look like an enchanted peach garden?

If you believe it, so will your audience. Here are the new sides.

Try not to step on each other’s lines. Keep the scene contained.

I only had time to poison one tree.

The toxin should take only a few moments to knock him out cold.

Remember, the tree in the light has the peach he should bite.

If it’s hidden by night, then the fruit isn’t right. Got it?

Okay. If the tree is in light, then, um, uh…

It’s the peach he should bite.

Oh yeah. So definitely not that tree.

Yes, exactly that tree.

But that tree’s not white. It’s more of a brown.

No, not the color!

I lit it up for you. See?

Still nothing?

So,

it’s a glowing tree?

Exactly. Wow.

And once the monkey passes out, I’ll grab the stick and…

Oh, here they come.

Everybody back to one. Hit your marks. And let’s have some fun out there.

Whoopsie-daisy!

This one? No. That one.

Ugh. This peach grove looks kinda shabby. Are you sure this is…

Oh yeah. One bite of the magical fruit, and you get full immortality.

Huh?

[mysterious pipe music plays]

♪ Behold this magic garden ♪

♪ Full of magic nature ♪

♪ It’s the Orchard of Everlasting Life ♪

♪ We are the magic guardians ♪

♪ And the pollinators Of this magic orchard ♪

♪ Which is definitely real ♪

I don’t know why,

but I like these guys.

Oh yeah, totally.

♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Handsome, hairy stranger ♪

♪ We are the protectors ♪

♪ Of the nectar of immortality ♪

♪ We promise there’s no danger ♪

♪ So eat a poison peach ♪

♪ I mean, the peaches that are juiciest Are in that glowing tree ♪

[Benbo and Babbo buzz]

♪ Hopefully ♪

Stand back.

[Benbo and Babbo buzz]

Hm.

I’m not feeling anything special.

Hey, do I look immortal?

Hm, well…

Or maybe it’s the tree over here.

That’s ridiculous. The one in the light has the juiciest…

Stick to the pages!

Maybe it’s this tree. The one in the dark. That’s the most delicious.

Hold it. Let me check.

Nope. Definitely not as juicy as the one…

Oh!

The tree in the dark…

Uh, what’s wrong with this one?

…has the tastiest bark. [laughs]

[Babbo groans]

That seems suspicious.

No, no, no, no. This is definitely the right tree.

Eat it.

No, you eat it.

No, you eat it.

No improv.

You eat it first.

You eat it.

[Monkey King] You eat it.

Come on. Just eat it. Yum.

How about at the same time?

Fine. Immortality, here I come.

I don’t feel anything.

What?

Oh, wait. Maybe I do.

[Benbo burps]

[Monkey King giggles]

I feel good!

Me too!

Maybe you should just sit down.

Hey! Buzz off, lady, and mind your own…

Beeswax?

No!

Beeswax.

[Benbo grunts and snores]

[Dragon King] Ugh!

Clear the stage. I’ll take that stick. Thank you very much.

Hey, I know you.

[Lin gasps]

Oh, your skin’s all cleared up. You are gorgy!

You must be from the Dang Dynasty!

Hey, hey, you gotta try these peaches, man.

[Dragon King gulps]

You idiot!

Don’t you realize what’s in those

yummy, mouth-watering… [slurps]

Who wants to take a bath with me?

I do!

Yay!

[Monkey King] We’re hot-tubbing with the dragon!

[Dragon King] Everyone’s gonna get crazy!

[upbeat music plays]

[Dragon King] Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!

Oh man!

I loved those guys!

[groans] Those… Those are good people.

But the two of you are my best friends.

No. No, no, no, no. We’re not friends.

The three of us,

we’re family.

[Stick hums]

What just… What just happened?

[gasps]

Dra… Uh, Dragon?

[Dragon King] Whoop!

[Lin growls]

Monkey?

[Monkey King snores]

You awake?

[Monkey King snores]

[Lin grunts]

[murmurs]

[laughs]

[Lin groans]

Agh!

Wait!

[Lin gasps and yells]

Did the peaches work? Am I fully immortal now?

Knock my head off.

What?

Take my stick and whack me in the face. It’s all right. Come on, come on. Do it.

I won’t even feel it.

[groans] Fine. I’ll do it myself, wuss.

[Lin snarls]

Ow!

Those peaches were defective.

Maybe they’re out of season.

What? Our quest has failed, Stick.

[Stick groans]

[groans]

You’re still half-immortal.

I don’t do half-things.

Yeah, I noticed.

[sighs]

This old geezer once told me all the things I couldn’t do.

That I’d wind up alone.

Yeah. “You’ll never amount to anything.”

I heard that all the time back home. [sighs]

Wow.

Wish I could relate.

Well, thanks for your help.

I mean, it was mostly me.

You’re leaving?

It was nice knowing you, little girl.

But no!

[grunts] Don’t go. You said we were family.

No, I didn’t.

You did.

Doesn’t sound like me.

Well, you said it.

That was just the peaches talking.

But you promised we’d do big things. We can’t give up now.

“We”? Who’s this “we”?

I’m still gonna join the Immortal Ones.

Just not with you.

[Lin groans]

You know what? I’m starting to think that wasn’t even the real peach orchard.

What? [laughs awkwardly]

You think I… I deliberately brought you to the wrong place?

L-L-Like some sort of… Like some sort of trap?

You’re saying I lied to you?

I’m not not saying it.

You know what? Go ahead. Walk away. You’re so selfish.

You only care about yourself.

Well, no one else will.

Ugh! ‘Cause you won’t let them.

Someday, you really will end up all alone.

[gentle music plays]

Hm.

Hm.

[Stick murmurs]

What are you yapping on about?

[Stick murmurs]

Who’s that? Assistant, what does it say?

“An authority on everlasting life, the royal sorceress, Wangmu,

can often be found in her laboratory brewing her famous Elixir of Immortality.”

We’re back in the game! One sip and they’ll have to accept me.

Way to go, Stick! Mwah!

You too, Pebble. What are we waiting for?

But that’s in heaven.

Monkey King reigns supreme!

[Lin yells]

Is that the Jade Palace?

Absolutely.

[Monkey King grunts]

[Lin screams]

[exciting music plays]

[Monkey King] Woo-hoo!

What the…

[Lin screams]

[exciting music fades]

[Lin] There she is. Wangmu.

[Wangmu grunts]

The queen of heaven.

Yeah, whatever. Let’s go make me immortal.

[Lin grunts and groans]

[Monkey King grunts]

[mysterious music plays]

[whimpers]

[Monkey King grunts]

Locked.

Oh!

[Monkey King laughs]

No. No, no, no! Monkey!

Somewhere in this room are the ingredients for making the Elixir of Immortality.

Guess I’ll just have to taste everything.

No. No. Wait.

First thing we need is…

Here goes nothing.

Hey, don’t drink that.

I’m just smelling it.

[Lin] Don’t smell anything.

[Stick murmurs]

Uh, Monkey?

[Monkey King screeches]

[Lin yelps]

[pots smash]

Hey!

[Monkey King laughs]

[Monkey King shrieks]

[Lin gasps]

Ooh.

Wha… Wha… Huh?

[Monkey King shrieks]

[Lin growls]

[Monkey King laughs]

Huh?

[Monkey King shrieks]

[Monkey King whimpers]

[whimpering continues]

[grunts] Okay, Lin. You got this.

Don’t look back. Don’t look back. Don’t… look… back.

[Monkey King bawls]

[Lin groans]

[Monkey squeals]

Oh! [laughs]

Aw, you’re just a scared little monkey.

No friends. No family.

You are alone.

[Monkey King mewls]

[sad music plays]

Sorry, Monkey.

I can’t fool around anymore.

My people are counting on me.

[Monkey King whimpers]

Oh!

Oh! Agh!

Gee, why’d you trash this place?

We’re guests here.

[Lin groans]

Show a little respect. Immortality Elixir?

Hello? Come on. I’m not paying you to goof around.

Yeah. Uh-huh.

We’re not actually paying her, are we?

[Stick hums]

Right. The first ingredient is…

There. A pinch of instant karma.

Get mixing.

[woman] Stealing from an old lady?

You have no honor.

Uh-oh.

[laughs]

First, I punish you.

Then I shame you.

You can’t shame me.

I have no shame.

And you have no exit.

Don’t worry, kid. I’ll take care of her.

Eat lightning, chimp! [laughs]

Immortality Elixir! Let’s go!

[Monkey King grunts]

[Wangmu] Ha! [grunts]

A spoonful of chi. There! The blue jar.

A spoonful of chi coming up.

[Wangmu grunts]

[Lin gasps]

[exciting music plays]

[Monkey King] What’s next?

A drop of moon essence. The green jar.

Bad monkey!

[Monkey King] On it.

Ha! Missed!

Yes!

Hee-yah!

That’s it.

[Monkey] What else?

Last one. Nectar of peach.

Yes! Um…

Yes!

[Wangmu growls]

Here you go.

[Wangmu] This is going to sting!

[laughs]

You call yourself a god? I’m so disappointed. What a bummer.

[Wangmu yells]

Um, it’s stuck! I-I need a spoon or chopsticks or…

Stick, help her.

[Stick yells]

Perfect.

[Monkey King] Ha ha!

[dramatic music plays]

I think I did it!

Taste this. [grunts]

Right.

Taste death!

Agh! No! [gasps]

That does it! [grunts]

[both grunt]

[Monkey King] Nice punch, Grandma!

Your friend’s not here to protect you now. [laughs]

Uh, we’re not friends. I’m his assistant.

His what?

[screams] I’m just a pebble.

[Lin screams]

I’m only after his stick.

I need it to save my village from a drought.

So, the thief’s assistant is also a thief. [laughs]

[Monkey King] Woo-hoo!

Take his stick and go! The Jade Emperor will see you home.

[Lin grunts]

What are you going to do to him?

That selfish creature doesn’t care about you.

Run!

[sighs]

[Wangmu] Ya!

[Monkey King yells]

Ha ha! Stick, where are you?

Whoa!

Back for more, Monkey?

Uh-oh.

[panting] Don’t look back!

Don’t look back! Don’t look back.

[Monkey King screams in pain]

[Wangmu laughs]

No, not this time.

[Wangmu laughs]

Goodbye, mortal.

Half-mortal.

[Monkey King groans]

You couldn’t possibly think you were worthy to take your place here

amongst us Immortal Ones.

[Wangmu laughs]

That was fun.

[door opens]

Huh?

Monkey!

Agh!

Agh!

[dramatic music plays]

What?

Oh ho ho!

I love it when people tell me what I can’t do.

[Wangmu grunts]

[Monkey King yells]

[laughs]

Whoa!

[laughs]

[gasps]

My lightning makes you stronger?

I’m immortal!

[Stick squeals excitedly]

And huge!

I’m one of you now.

You will never be one of us!

Monkey!

Who’s gonna stop me?

I summon the Immortal Ones!

I’m already here!

[Lin] They’re coming!

We gotta get out of here!

What are they gonna do? I can’t die.

There are fates far worse than death.

We really should go now.

Bring ’em on! I am a god.

Monkey!

What? I’m busy!

Bet you can’t catch me.

Monkey King!

[gasps]

[Lin yells]

He’s coming. He’s coming. He’s coming.

He’s not coming!

[Lin yells]

[triumphant music plays]

[panting]

You came back

for me.

What’s your deal?

You came back for me!

I so could’ve beaten that old lady.

But you didn’t because you care.

No.

Admit it. You care. Say it.

No!

Say, “I care.”

Never.

Come on, admit it!

I admit nothing!

He so cares about me.

[Stick murmurs]

I know!

He was all like, “We’re not family. You’re a tiny pebble.”

And then he saves me! [laughs]

[Stick laughs]

Are you two done? ‘Cause I got to get to the Jade Palace.

To do what?

Defeat all the Immortal Ones.

Then I’ll become their ruler, the new king of heaven.

Wait. Are you sure? Sounds kinda crazy.

Yep! Whatever the Monkey King does, he does big!

And you won’t ever stop?

Not until the day I die.

Which is?

Never! I’m immortal!

My thirst for new challenges will never end.

I’ll never be satisfied. I’ll never be fulfilled.

Which, when I say it out loud, sounds incredibly depressing.

Wow! Did I just curse myself?

[Stick groans]

Maybe defeating everyone isn’t always the answer.

Maybe you’d find happiness by,

I don’t know, helping other people?

That could be your new, uh, path.

Hm.

Say you could save a starving village by lending out the stick for…

My stick?

Okay. How about I rip off my tail and give that away too? I mean, come on.

You could save the lives of so many.

Hard pass.

Me and Stick are meant for way bigger things.

You wanna be happy, you help people.

You can do great things.

I’m just a mortal.

You’re the only mortal I know who’s gone to hell and heaven in one day.

That wasn’t my accomplishment. That was you.

When we were in hell, I read my scroll.

It said, “Lin, common peasant girl.”

“Tried to make a difference. Never did.”

[sighs] Does it have to end that way?

I don’t know. Who’s Lin?

I’m Lin.

Oh! Hey, Lin. Monkey King. Nice to meet ya.

Pleasure.

Buck up, Lin. No one thought I could make a difference, right?

But now look at me. The original outsider.

Fully immortal!

So don’t let anyone,

god, demon, old monkeys,

challenge you or stand in your way.

You want something,

don’t ask.

Just take it.

[Stick grunts]

I’ve got a challenge.

Go on.

It’s a big one.

I’m listening.

How long do you think an immortal monkey can hold his breath under that water?

Interesting.

I dunno.

Two, three

years! [inhales deeply]

[Stick murmurs]

[Lin grunts]

[strains]

[soft music plays]

Don’t be sad. You’ve done good, girl.

Go home. Your storm is coming.

[Babbo and Benbo laugh]

[soft music continues]

[Lin grunts]

Ah, I wasn’t gonna make you wait the whole three.

Forget it. Come on. Grab Stick, and we’ll…

Where’s Stick?

I had no choice.

He just needs to borrow it.

Borrow it?

Where did you get that?

The Dragon King just…

Dragon King?

My village is dying.

My family is dying.

The Dragon King can help them.

I trusted you, Lin. I saved you.

I saved you first. And I asked for your help.

You said if I want something, don’t ask. Just take it.

That’s what you said.

[Monkey King growls]

I had to do it.

Ha! [yells]

[dramatic music plays]

[Dragon King laughs]

[dramatic music continues]

Well, hello, you.

That stick belongs to me!

Stickipoo here had a momentary fling,

but now he’s come home.

In fact, he’ll be the guest of honor at my celebration tonight.

Invite only.

And a warm thanks to you for the help, my child.

Tell your village the drought is over.

It’s all over.

For you, your people,

and the entire world!

[Dragon King laughs maniacally]

The world?

No, we have to stop him.

You betrayed me!

I had no choice.

We’re still family, right?

I have no family.

I’ll help you get Stick back.

Help me?

You? An insignificant pebble?

This monkey heroes alone!

[Lin gasps]

[Lin yelps]

[suspenseful music plays]

[Monkey King grunts]

I’ll show you crazy.

Monkey!

But he destroyed my home.

Oh, Wangmu, if you can’t stop a little monkey from smashing your roof…

[Jade Emperor yelps]

[Babbo] Coming to the stage…

[Benbo] To finally kick off his world domination tour…

He’s flashy.

He’s splashy.

But don’t mention his rashy.

[Benbo] Put your fins and tentacles together for…

[Babbo and Benbo] The Dragon King!

[cool jazz music plays]

♪ Feeling weary, well, you oughta ‘Cause dwelling underwater isn’t swell ♪

♪ Trust me, I know ♪

♪ You see, since birth I have fought a dermatology disorder ♪

♪ That has caused me sadness And woe, woe, woe ♪

♪ Whenever other kids saw me Under the sun’s rays ♪

♪ In no time, they’d be calling me A freak or a raisin ♪

♪ So I resigned myself To being left behind ♪

♪ Forever livin’ in the H2O ♪

♪ But since then I’ve realized ♪

♪ There’s nothing wrong With being moisturized ♪

♪ Why should I stay below the shore? ♪

♪ Second-rate and inferior ♪

♪ To the air-breathing Land-walking sun kissers I despise? ♪

♪ So watch me rise up, open the skies up ♪

♪ And take the world by storm ♪

♪ I’ll flood the dry lands Low and highlands ♪

♪ He’s taking the world by storm ♪

Yes, I am!

♪ For years, this un-phibian demon’s Been rehearsing a scheme ♪

♪ Now stand back ‘Cause I’m gonna perform it ♪

♪ And nobody will deny my power When I take the world by storm ♪

♪ No more sunshine, no more flowers ♪

♪ Benbo, Babbo ♪

♪ Only endless power showers ♪

♪ Benbo, Babbo ♪

[Dragon King] ♪ No more groundhogs Or earthworms ♪

♪ And no more ruined frizzy perms ♪

♪ No more islands, no more nations ♪

♪ No more rain-checked invitations ♪

♪ No more sadness, no more crying ♪

♪ No more failed auditions ♪

♪ Drying up on the big final ♪

[voice cracks] ♪ Note ♪

♪ Ever again ♪

♪ So watch me rise up ♪

♪ Open the skies up ♪

♪ And take the world by storm ♪

♪ I’m the top dragon ♪

♪ And he ain’t braggin’ ♪

♪ No, I’m taking the world by storm ♪

♪ Fortune favors the brave ♪

♪ So, baby, I’m making waves ♪

♪ So big they’ll become the norm ♪

♪ So watch me rise up ♪

♪ Our king will reign ♪

[Dragon King] ♪ Open the skies up ♪

♪ He’s makin’ it rain ♪

♪ And take the whole dried world ♪

♪ By storm ♪

[villagers scream]

[Dragon King laughs]

Salutations, dry-landers!

Who wants the honor of drowning first?

[Monkey King] Flaky!

Huh?

Where’s my Stick?

I believe I said invite only!

[Monkey King gasps and yells]

What do we do now?

I am the mighty Dragon King,

world-flooder, man-slayer…

Monkey punching-bag!

Huh?

[Monkey King] Woo-hoo!

Stop it!

Yeah!

Knock it off!

[exciting music plays]

Monkey!

[Dragon King grunts] Stop!

[child yells]

[Dragon King] Stop!

[Lin] I got ya. Head for high ground!

[child] Mama!

Everybody, get to the top of the hill!

[exciting music plays]

[Monkey King yells]

[Dragon King grunts]

[Monkey King yells]

[laughs]

Hm. [grunts]

[Monkey King clones groan]

[Dragon King laughs]

Stop wrecking my clones!

Monkey! You’re not alone. I can help you!

[Monkey King snarls]

Hee-yah!

[Dragon King groans] Gotcha!

Hm?

[Monkey King laughs]

[dramatic music plays]

Why won’t you die?

I’m immortal, dummy!

How?

Those peaches were fake!

[Lin] Dragon!

What?

Your Majesty!

What?

[Lin] Spare my poor village, and I’ll tell you his weakness.

Agreed.

Lightning. It’s the only thing that can defeat him.

[Dragon King laughs]

Fry him up. No one’ll miss him.

[Monkey King yells]

[Dragon King laughs]

Jia you! Jia you!

[Monkey King grunts]

[Dragon King] Ya!

[mysterious music plays]

[Stick hums]

[soft music plays]

Stick?

[Stick hums]

[soft music continues]

[uplifting music plays]

[Babbo] Oh no, not again!

I missed you so much.

[Stick murmurs]

[Dragon King laughs maniacally]

Thanks for the assist, child.

I’m not your assistant!

[Stick murmurs]

I’m his.

What?

Hee-yah!

[dramatic music plays]

[Monkey King] Hi-yah!

[Dragon King laughs]

[Dragon King grunts]

[dramatic music continues]

[Monkey King] Ha!

Oh ho!

[Dragon King groans]

This is so twisted!

[Monkey King and Stick laugh]

[Monkey King grunts]

[Dragon King] Oh! [yelps]

Hee-yah!

[Dragon King yells in pain]

[dramatic music continues]

Yes! That’s it! Wring him out!

[Dragon King] No! No. No.

Monkey?

[dramatic music continues]

[Monkey King yells]

[Dragon King groans]

[dramatic music continues]

Okay, you can have the stick!

How about I get custody just on weekends?

[Monkey King yells]

[Dragon King squeals]

Are we fired?

Oh yeah, we need a new career.

You did it. You defeated the Dragon King…

Monkey King reigns supreme!

Uh-oh.

Sir, you, uh…

[sighs] What is it now?

You’re next.

[Jade Emperor] Whoa!

[suspenseful music plays]

[Jade Emperor yelps]

[Jade Emperor] This has gone too far.

Hand me the Royal Horn of Desperation.

But the Buddha said to let him find his own way.

[scoffs] The Buddha speaks in riddles. No one understands him.

[horn trumpets]

[yelling]

[Stick murmurs]

[Wangmu laughs]

[Yama yells]

[Yama growls]

This ends now!

Monkey!

You shall spend your immortality alone,

reflecting on your crimes.

My crimes?

You could have accepted me.

Now I will reign supreme over all of you!

Hee-yah!

[Monkey King yells]

[Wangmu gasps]

[Monkey King laughs]

[Monkey King laughs]

Monkey! Stop!

[Yama and Wangmu yelp]

[Yama] Monkey!

[Monkey King laughs]

Monkey! Monkey!

[Stick murmurs]

[Monkey King growls]

It’s me! It’s Lin!

[Monkey King growls]

Please, you have to stop.

[laughs maniacally]

[Lin yelps]

[maniacal laughter continues]

[Monkey King yells]

No, Monkey!

[laughs maniacally]

♪ Who’s the giant primate Who is making a mess? Monkey King! ♪

I did this. I let this happen.

[gasps]

Buddha?

[Monkey King] ♪ Monkey King! ♪

♪ Who can swing around The biggest stick… ♪

Please, he’s not evil.

[Monkey King laughs]

[Lin] He has goodness inside him.

He does care.

[Buddha] Then help him find his way.

[Lin] What’s happening?

[Buddha] Enlighten him.

What? But how do I do that?

Monkey King, stop!

Oh, whoa.

[deep voice] Monkey King, stop!

Buddha?

Monkey King is my old title.

You will address me as the Great Sage,

equal of heaven!

How can we show him he’s not the center of the universe?

I got it! [deep voice] I have a challenge for you, Great Sage.

Not interested!

What is it?

[Lin as Buddha] Something worthy of you.

The ultimate challenge.

[mysterious music plays]

What gives?

[Lin as Buddha] If you are powerful enough to leap from my palm,

the kingdom of heaven will be yours to rule.

Hang on. What did he just say?

[deep voice] But if you fail, you will do a long penance here on Earth.

Please. Too easy! [laughs]

I just have to leave your hand?

You’re on, but you’re gonna feel pretty foolish in about two sec…

Cloud jump!

[exciting music plays]

[cat yelps]

I really hate that monkey.

[Monkey King laughs]

[exciting music continues]

Woo-hoo!

[exciting music continues]

Whoa!

This is the edge of the universe, Stick!

[Stick squeals]

[Monkey King] I rule!

[Monkey King laughs]

[Stick murmurs]

Yeah, I totally should. Just to prove I was here.

Ha ha! And now to make my other mark.

[Monkey King sighs]

[Lin as Buddha] Stop that, Monkey.

Uh, the Great Sage.

[rumbling]

[Monkey King gasps]

Whoa! Agh!

[Monkey King yells]

[Stick groans]

[Monkey King yells] Ha!

[Lin as Buddha] You never left my hand, Monkey King.

Wait a second. No! No. No, no, no, no, no! No! No!

Whatever just happened, that’s cheating! Do-over!

Hard pass.

Pebble?

[Lin laughs]

Are you even supposed to be in there?

Absolutely not. Isn’t it great?

You tricked me! Not fair! That’s two against one.

I’m sorry. This is the only way to help you.

Stop! No, no, no, no, no! No! [strains]

[Stick groans]

No! Stick!

Well, guess what?

[grunts] This is so exactly what I wanted to happen.

Told you, you’d feel foolish. Ha ha.

Agh! Whoa!

[Monkey King strains]

[loud crash]

[Buddha] Monkey King,

you are now on the path of meditation and self-reflection.

I was born from a rock, you know?

This is where I thrive! Monkey King reigns supreme! [strains]

[Buddha] When you awake to nothingness,

you will have found your way.

[Monkey King panting]

Awake to nothingness.

Whatever that means.

I’ll think about it.

[gentle music plays]

He’s just a little monkey looking for a place to belong.

[Buddha] The Monkey King’s scroll

is still to be written.

When he is ready,

the world will need him

as it has needed you.

[gentle music continues]

[uplifting music plays]

Hey, Lin, where’s our hero going today?

I’ll be back by sunset.

[Babbo] And two extra-large milk tea bobas.

Want honey with that? I made it myself.

[soft music plays]

[Lin panting]

[Monkey King] Omm.

[music fades]

My gosh! How do I awaken to nothingness?

What does that even mean?

Be calm? Patient? Humble?

I’m the king of being humble!

[Lin] Monkey?

Monkey.

Go away! I’m busy thinking of all the ways to get back at you.

Calmly.

I came to say goodbye before Buddha closes up your mountain.

Oh, lucky me.

I know you’re mad, but you were out of control.

[groans] Okay, you don’t have to remind me.

Taking on all the gods probably wasn’t my best idea.

[sighs]

[groans]

I really messed up, didn’t I?

Monkey, you were born from a rock,

abandoned by everyone.

Th-The gods hated you,

and all you ever wanted

was to be loved.

[gentle music plays]

[Lin] And you are!

You changed my life.

I made a difference. We both did.

I really am your number one fan.

Well, I guess a little pebble did make a big wave.

With an assist.

Oh, that’s good.

Me, your assistant?

Okay. Okay.

We helped each other.

Well, we didn’t do it all alone.

[Stick hums]

Stick! Buddy! I missed you so much!

The team is back.

[laughs]

[Stick murmurs]

[rocks crumble]

I guess this is goodbye.

Wait, don’t go yet. [grunts]

[gentle music continues]

Thank you for everything.

[gentle music continues]

I’ll miss you, Monkey.

[rocks crumble]

[gentle music continues]

Oh.

Keep writing your scroll, Lin.

[rocks crumble]

I will.

[gentle music continues]

[Lin cries quietly]

[gentle music continues]

[Lin] I kept my promise and did great things.

And Monkey, I’m sure he’ll be out in no time.

[suspenseful music plays]

Monkey, demons run wild across the land.

The Buddha sent us to release you.

Are you ready to join our journey to the West?

I have awoken with peace in my heart,

and you wish for me to fight?

Well, yes, but…

[Monkey King laughs]

Come on, Stick. The world needs us.

Huh? Oh no!

[laughs]

♪ Who’s the handsome hero We all love and adore? ♪

♪ Monkey King! ♪

♪ Who has demons screaming When he knocks on their door? ♪

♪ Monkey King! ♪

♪ Who’s a mighty fighter Who is brave and spunky ♪

♪ And also a bit of a hunk? ♪

♪ He’s the Monkey King! ♪

♪ Who’s the ape you can’t escape When he hunts you down? ♪

♪ Monkey King! ♪

♪ Who’s the chimp All the simple people will crown? ♪

♪ Monkey King! ♪

♪ Who’s the simian you’ll find shimmying Up to the top ♪

♪ And you know he won’t stop Till he’s won? ♪

♪ That’s right, he’s the Monkey King! ♪

♪ Monkey King! ♪

♪ Monkey King! ♪

♪ Monkey King! ♪

♪ Monkey King! ♪

♪ Monkey King! ♪

♪ Monkey King! ♪

♪ Monkey King! ♪

♪ Monkey King! ♪

♪ Monkey King! ♪

♪ Monkey King! ♪

♪ Monkey King! ♪

♪ Monkey King! ♪

♪ Monkey King! ♪

♪ Monkey King! ♪

[Dragon King] ♪ So watch me rise up ♪

♪ Open the skies up ♪

♪ And take the world by storm ♪

♪ I’ll flood the dry lands Low and highlands ♪

♪ And take the world by storm ♪

[Babbo and Benbo] ♪ Hey, hey He’ll take the world by storm ♪

♪ Hey, hey He’ll take the world by storm ♪

♪ Hey, hey He’ll take the world by storm ♪

♪ Hey, hey He’ll take the world by storm ♪

[Benbo] ♪ Dragon King coming ♪

[Babbo] ♪ The hurricane flooding ♪

♪ He’ll make it rain Watch the whole world love it ♪

♪ It’s Benbo ♪

♪ It’s Babbo ♪

♪ We’re searching for the stick ♪

[Benbo] ♪ Monkey King stole it ♪

[Babbo] ♪ We need it quick ♪

[Benbo] ♪ And DK knows ♪

[Babbo] ♪ We’re a big part of the plan ♪

[Benbo] ♪ Time to find the monkey ♪

[Babbo] ♪ And bury him in the sand Make him do the rain dance ♪

[Benbo] ♪ His last dance ♪

[Babbo] ♪ He won’t get the last laugh ♪

[both] ♪ Ha ha! ♪

[Babbo] ♪ And everybody knows What we came here for ♪

[Benbo] ♪ We bring thunder, lightning ♪

[both] ♪ When it rains, it pours ♪

[Dragon King] ♪ So watch me rise up Open the skies up ♪

♪ And take the world by storm ♪

♪ I’ll flood the dry lands Low and highlands ♪

♪ And take the world by storm ♪

♪ Every inch of the land ♪

♪ Every part of the sky ♪

♪ Will be water when I transform it ♪

♪ So watch me rise up, open the skies up ♪

♪ And take the world by storm ♪

[Benbo and Babbo] ♪ He’ll take The world by storm, hey, hey ♪

♪ He’ll take the world by storm ♪

♪ Hey, hey He’ll take the world by storm ♪

♪ Hey, hey He’ll take the world by storm ♪

[Dragon King] How did I come up With this plan?

♪ I was chillin’ with the fish And the pillar sparked a vision ♪

♪ And bam! ♪

♪ I envisioned a plan ♪

♪ Now I’ve created a machine To turn the world sub-marine ♪

♪ This demon dragon’s gonna be the man ♪

[Benbo and Babbo] ♪ Oh yeah! ♪

[Benbo] ♪ And DK knows ♪

[Babbo] ♪ We’re a big part of the plan ♪

[Benbo] ♪ Time to find the monkey ♪

[Babbo] ♪ And bury him in the sand Make him do the rain dance ♪

[Benbo] ♪ His last dance ♪

[Babbo] ♪ He won’t get the last laugh ♪

[both] ♪ Ha ha! ♪

[Babbo] ♪ And everybody knows What we came here for ♪

[Benbo] ♪ We bring thunder, lightning ♪

[both] ♪ When it rains, it pours ♪

[Dragon King] ♪ So watch me rise up Open the skies up ♪

♪ And take the world by storm ♪

♪ I’ll flood the dry lands Low and highlands ♪

♪ And take the world by storm ♪

♪ I’m saying see ya laters ♪

♪ To all the haters and the dehydraters ♪

♪ To the land-walking, hair-growing ♪

♪ Name-calling, life-ruining Loneliness-inducing ♪

♪ Embarrassing-me-in-front-of-my-friends And-family doing… ♪

♪ I mean ♪

♪ They’re all gonna die ♪

♪ So watch me rise up, open the skies up ♪

♪ And take the world by storm ♪

♪ I’ll flood the dry lands Low and highlands ♪

♪ And take the world by storm ♪

♪ For years this un-phibian demon’s Been rehearsing a scheme ♪

♪ Now stand back ‘Cause I’m gonna perform it ♪

♪ And nobody will deny my power ♪

♪ When I take the world by storm ♪

[Benbo and Babbo] ♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ He’ll take the world by storm ♪

♪ Hey, hey He’ll take the world by storm ♪

♪ Hey, hey He’ll take the world by storm ♪

♪ Hey, hey He’ll take the world by storm ♪

♪ Hey, hey ♪

[mysterious music plays]

[intriguing music plays]

[exciting music plays]

[uplifting music plays]

[gentle music plays]

[music fades]

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