The Fall Guy (2024) | Transcript

A down-and-out stuntman must find the missing star of his ex-girlfriend's blockbuster film.
The Fall Guy (2024)

The Fall Guy (2024)
Genre: Action, Comedy, Drama
Runtime: 126 min
Director: David Leitch
Cast: Ryan Gosling, Emily Blunt, Aaron Taylor-Johnson

Plot: He’s a stuntman, and like everyone in the stunt community, he gets blown up, shot, crashed, thrown through windows, and dropped from the highest of heights, all for our entertainment. And now, fresh off an almost career-ending accident, this working-class hero has to track down a missing movie star, solve a conspiracy, and try to win back the love of his life while still doing his day job. What could possibly go right?

* * *

(“I Was Made for Lovin’ You” by KISS playing)

♪ Mmm, yeah ♪

FIRST A.D. (over radio): Back to ones.

SECOND A.D.: Let’s get it quiet, please.

Everyone, stay off channel one now.

FIRST A.D.: This is a take, not a rehearsal.

Picture is up.

CAMERA OPERATOR: Camera’s set.

FIRST A.D.: Let’s roll sound!


FIRST A.D.: Let’s speed cameras.

CAMERA OPERATOR: Camera one speeding.

SECOND CAMERA OPERATOR: Camera two speeding.


♪ I want to give it all to you ♪


FIRST A.D.: Stunts ready?

♪ In the darkness ♪


♪ There’s so much I want to do ♪

DIRECTOR: In three, two, one, action.


♪ And tonight ♪


♪ I want to lay it at your feet… ♪


COLT SEAVERS: They’re in almost every movie.


You just don’t know that they’re there.

(engine revs) ‘Cause that’s the job.

♪ I was made for lovin’ you, baby ♪

They’re the unknown stunt performers.

♪ You were made for lovin’ me ♪

And they get paid to do the cool stuff.

♪ And I can’t get enough of you, baby ♪

♪ Can you get enough… ♪

They also get paid to take it on the chin.

♪ Tonight… ♪

(horn honks)

(person screams)


And everywhere else, if you know what I mean.

♪ Feel the magic… ♪

Oh, that’s… that’s me.

Colt Seavers.

Getting blown up and hiding my face in a muddy puddle.

Which isn’t ideal

when you’re trying to look cool in front of Jody.

Who you just so happen to have a major crush on.

She’s a camera operator.


P.A. (over radio): Looking for Tom Ryder’s stunt double.

COLT: She’s definitely gonna achieve her goal

of being a bigtime Hollywood movie director.


(English accent): You’re so uncoordinated.

COLT: I don’t want to overromanticize it or anything,

but I think what Jody and I got’s the kind of thing

you can only really find in the movies.

Hey. Jody.

Thank you.

Hey, Colt. Thanks so much for the stunt chat.

Stunt chats. I love ’em. Anytime.

Hey, uh, Tom needs to see you at the monitor.


Yeah. (chuckles)

Am I in trouble?

She’s talking about Tom Ryder,

who happens to be the biggest action star on the pl

Wait, why am I explaining this?

You know who Tom Ryder is. He’s Tom Ryder.

Anyway, I’ve been his stunt double for six years now.

Uh… flying in.

What happened? What’s up?

Guess we’re going again.

You know Tom and Gail.

There’s a lot of grumbling and a bunch of hand gestures

over at the monitor, so I’m not sure what’s going on there,


Let me guess too much face.

JODY: Okay, guys. Go to one for me.


Jody, right?

What’s your name again?

As you can see, that is not my chin.

When you look at my face, look at my jaw compared to his jaw,

it’s like his chin is off.

It’s like…

Yeah, we can’t replace his face.

It’s like Mr. Potato Head.

I mean, no offense or anything, but you know.


Oh, yeah, no. Sorry, I got lost in your beautiful jawline.

It’s dreamy.

(chuckles softly) No, listen,

we’re just saying it’s not working for us.

Let’s, uh… (clicking tongue)


Let’s go again.

Oh, yeah, no, we’re gonna have to go again.

Okay. Okay.



I don’t know, man. Do you think, um…

Try and make some magic?

Maybe you could do it backwards or something? I don’t know.

It’s just… less face.


COLT: The woman freebasing the Diet Coke

is Tom’s producer Gail.

She’s been making him look good for years.

Thank you.

COLT: And it’s not always easy.

All right.

Give me some.

(slaps bottom)

Oh! I’m gonna…

I can’t complain.

I’m working with my dream girl.


On my dream job.


Go back to one.

We got to switch the pick points to the front.

I’m living the dream.

He wants to go again.

COORDINATOR: Copy that, Colt. We’ll flip the rig.

Thank you.

You’ll be falling backwards.

Jody, go to two.

SECOND A.D.: Stand quiet, please.

Everyone, stay off channel one now.

Do you have a question for me?

Uh, yeah. It just looked just now like you wanted

to ask me something.


I was gonna go for a spicy margarita after work.

I was wondering if you drink spicy margaritas.

(laughs, sniffles)

Um, well, just to keep it professional,

I can only have one spicy margarita.

Because if I have two, I start making bad decisions.

JODY: Well, you know, drinking margaritas

is all about making bad decisions.

Which reminds me, um,

after this job, II got to go sit on the sand somewhere,

and I was wondering, uh… I was gonna ask you a question.

JODY: Tell me.

Do you have any towels that I can borrow?

(Jody chuckles)

Yeah, I have some towels.

You know, it’s so dangerous to swim alone.

(sucks air through teeth)

Well, I would ask you to, you know, be my swim buddy,

but I don’t know if you have a bathing suit.

Wait a second. What do you call that across the pond?

We call it a swimming costume. (giggles)


Imagine that.

After this, you and I could both be

on the beach somewhere in swimming costumes

drinking spicy margaritas,

making bad decisions.

MAN: Okay, good to go.

JODY: Imagine that.

FIRST A.D.: Okay, let’s keep it locked up all around!

(breathes deeply)

Let’s strap him in.

Everyone quiet, please!

Speed on “A.”

(exhales sharply)

You all right?

All right, let’s take him to ones.

Tail slate.

Going to ones.

Go ahead and sit back for me.

Let’s go hot on stunts.

And going out to the edge.

Stunts is hot.

Take up the slack.

How we doing up there, stunt?

Great. He’s great. Here we go.

Position down.

He’s at ones.

Ready to drop the line for me?

DIRECTOR: And three, two, one.

Action, action, action, action, action!

(women screaming)

MAN: Call the medic! Medic!

(overlapping, distorted chatter)

JODY: Colt, are you okay?

PARAMEDIC: I need you to step back.

You’re not helping.

(monitor beeping steadily)

(typewriter keys clacking)

COLT: What’s that saying,

“Pride comes before the fall”?

Well, they don’t mention

that it sticks around afterwards, too.

(TV newscast playing quietly)

Jody tried so hard to be there for me.

She really did. I just…

I couldn’t do it.

(siren wailing in distance)

Then I just disappeared completely.


at least I thought I did.

(phone vibrating)

(phone clicks)


Oh! Colt!

It’s Gail.

Your favorite producer.

How’d you get this number?

Someone said you were working at the Captain’s Cockatoo.

A valet.

Wow! I didn’t believe it.

It’s actually El Cacatúa del Capitan.

It’s a familyrun place. We pool tips.

(“Fiesta” by Mariachi La Estrella playing)

COLT: Plus, I get all the burritos I can eat.

Kind of living the dream if you think about it.

Break time’s over. You’ve got a customer.

Number 43.

(song continues with lyrics in Spanish)


(lively chatter)

Yo, bro, I know you from somewhere.

Where I know you from, bro?

Oh, yeah, you were on that Tom Ryder movie I was on.

You’re the stunt guy!

Not anymore.

Did you, like, break your back or some shit?

I did, yeah.

I know things haven’t been easy for you since… the incident.

And I just hope

that you don’t hold it against me or Tom.

You know, we were absolutely devastated.

He sent you a message, right?

The prayer hands emoji?

Right, yeah. He’s still an asshole.

How are you even still alive? Yo, babe.

Babe, hey, come here.

I don’t know.

I wish I wasn’t right now.

You got to meet this guy.

Come here. You got to hear this.

You don’t have to hear this. It’s fine. Hi.

This dude was on a movie I was on.

Most epic fail I’ve ever seen.


COLT: I don’t blame either one of you, Gail.

That was my fault.

And when you start making mistakes like that,

it’s time to hang up the pads.

GAIL: Oh, it was an accident, Colt.

Everybody knows that.

(chuckles) Tom has put me in a real situation here, Colt.

I just need a little bit of help from an old friend,

who just happens to be, you know, the best stuntman

I’ve ever worked with in my life.

Which is why you are getting on a plane for me tomorrow

and coming to Sydney.

I’m not getting on a plane, Gail.

I can’t bear that you would throw away all that talent.

You shouldn’t be parking cars, Colt.

You need to be smashing burning Kawasakis

through panes of glass.

Yo, fall guy? Yo.

Bring my car back without a scratch,

I got a crispy fiver here for you, bro.

(sighs heavily)

(siren wailing in distance)


(“Thunderstruck” by AC/DC playing)

Come on. It’s gonna be like old times.

I know you’ve missed it.

Goodbye, Gail.

Wait, wait, wait! Wait. Hold on.

Did I, did I tell you I Did I tell you

that the director’s asked for you specifically?

Sorry to disappoint him.

GAIL: Well, don’t you want to know who it is?


♪ Ahahahah ♪

It’s Jody.

♪ Ahahahah, thunder ♪

♪ Ahahahah… ♪

I’m giving her her big break.

Make sure it’s an aisle seat.

♪ Ahahahah, thunder… ♪

(car alarm chirps)

COLT: I don’t know.

Maybe I just spent so much time

riding shotgun in someone else’s story

I forgot how to take the wheel of my own.

Wait. Does that make sense?

(engine roars)

♪ Ahahahah… ♪

I don’t know why I’m talking so much anyway.

I’m not the hero of this story.

(engine revving) I’m just the stunt guy.

(tires squealing)

♪ Thunder ♪

♪ Thunderstruck ♪

♪ Thunderstruck ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, thunderstruck ♪

♪ Ooh, thunderstruck ♪

(engine roaring)

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ I was shaking at the knees… ♪

(tires squealing)


(excited chatter)

Chill! It’s a rental!

(Ryder yells onscreen)

RYDER (onscreen): Earth, minerals, stone.

A new eau de parfum by Tom Ryder.

(jet engine whooshing)

♪ Thunderstruck ♪

♪ Thunderstruck ♪

♪ Thunderstruck ♪

♪ Thunderstruck ♪

♪ Whoaoh ♪

♪ You’ve been thunderstruck. ♪

(song ends)

Is that Yeah?

I didn’t realize they were, uh, scanning doubles now.

Eh, it’s new technology.

Basically, we use the geometry of your face

to retarget Ryder’s face,

and we put Ryder’s face back on top of your face.

Like a deepfake situation.

If you get a chance, turn me into Tom Cruise, would you?

Hey, welcome to Sydney. Are you Colt Seavers?

Yeah. Hey. Do you know where I can get some coffee?

This jet lag is really kicking in.

Yeah, no stress. I got you.

And does the director know I’m here?

She asked for me.


Doesdoes she want to say hi or…?

I haven’t heard. No, sorry, bro.

Uh, but the stunt coordinator wants to see you.

He’s just in the jacket there.

Okay, great.

Will you just tell her I’m here and…

you know, that coffee if you get a chance?


Dan Tucker.


Bigtime Hollywood stunt coordinator.

It’s about time.



Thank you. Look at you.

So do I call you “sir” now, or how does that work?

Oh, feel free to call me “boss,” you know.

Okay, boss.


I don’t think I should be in this Nomex, right?

I mean, it’s like, we’re not doing anything crazy, are we?

I was just about to explain that.

A cannon roll?!

It’s time for you to start rolling cars again

instead of parking them.

You had an accident.

(stammers) It was a massive miscalculation of the rig.

II almost killed myself in front of the whole crew.

You know, I’d rather just not have my first stunt back

be another epic failure, especially in front of Jody.

I mean, you understand.

“It’s not about how hard of a hit you can give.”


“It’s about how many times

you can get hit and keep moving forward.”

Come on.

That’s messed up. You can’t quote Rocky on me like that.

JODY: So it’s a laser gun with a dagger?

PROPS WOMAN: Yes, like a bayonet.


Do we need the bayonet? Wouldn’t the laser achieve…

On the battlefield, yes. Hundred percent.

It just gives it a quite a strange shape.

Oh, this guitar bit at the end?


Yeah, well, you said you wanted metal,

so it’s, like, heavy metal. (imitates machine gun)

Okay, howhow… how many have you done like this?

Uh, two.

Okay. Good.


Ooh. Okay. Yeah, fantastic.

Thanks, boss.

Okay. It looks like a guitar.


Nigel, how we doing on the pyrotechnics?

What’s going on?

I think we only have enough for one take.

Boss! Boss, listen.

No. Come on.



We could create something that looks

way more realistic with VFX.

No, no, no.

Come on. Give it to me.

Venti, Venti, Venti.

I don’t want real. I don’t want real.

This is a scifi epic, cosmic love story.


Okay? Of cosmic proportions.

It’s got to mirror that otherworldly thing

when you fall in love.

You know, it’sit’s imperfect. It’s beautiful.

I want it that way, okay?

Let’s go big with our one take, okay?


Holy shit.

(people exclaiming)

Was that it? Was that my one take?

NIGEL: Uh, I’m sure we have


Oh, my God!

Well, I got to say, though, looks absolutely fantastic.

RAY: Boss. Listen, listen.

Look at that.

You sure you want to use real pyros?


VENTI: But we definitely don’t need this.

No, no, no, no. Yeah.

We don’t.

Well, we’re just gonna have to loop the actors.

That’s all.

That’s okay, Ray.

It’s a stuntman in a car with a helmet on, okay?

Oh. Uh, all right.

No looping. No monologuing.

What the hell is going on over there, Rush?

We did not call for pyro.

I will seriously track down your family

and kill every last one of them!

This is why they’re doing it.

‘Cause they feel you don’t respect them, Nigel, okay?

It’s my tone.

Your tone, your words, all of it, just…

I see, okay.

Jody? Jody?

Darla, yes? Okay. Yeah.

Jody, um, sorry, I… I couldn’t get my printer

working last night…

Okay, yep.

…but I sort of synthesized our conversation

that we had on the third act, and what if

one of the characters in the film acknowledges in the film

that we’re having a problem with the third act?


No. No.

But I appreciate you thinking outside the box, Darla.

I really, really do.


Nigel, you’ve got to stop them.

I will gut you like the pigs that you are!

Oh, my God.

Stop testing!


RUSH: Boss!


Test went well.


Okay, so, guys, simmer down. Eyes on me.

Here’s what’s gonna happen.

No VFX, Venti. It looks absolutely fabulous.

Nigel, we need to shoot now. The tide’s coming in.

Let’s go. The shot’s gonna be epic.

Shot’s up in five, people. Thank you.

(explosion in distance)

DAN: Colt? Brother?

(exhales heavily)

What’s happening, man?

Bad sand.

Bad sand.


I think we got to postpone. Hate to say it.

NIGEL (over radio): Dan, what’s the delay, please?

Uh, we’re just doing a little safety check.

It’s the density. It’s bad density.

We’re looking at the density of the sand.

There’s a new driver.

Who is it? Where’s Henry?

No idea.

Nigel, this is the biggest shot of the film,

and I have a newbie.

Dan says we can do it.


Seriously, we’re gonna drift all over the place.

What is that, a king tide?

Here’s what you do. You wait till it comes in.

It compacts the sand, then we shoot sunset for sunup.

You’re stalling.


You’re stalling.

Two things can be true. (groans)

Brother, I’ve got

a tent full of rookie Australians out here.

I’m gonna be sick.

You got this. You’re the one.

Why you got to say that?


Why you got to say that?

You’ve done this a million times.

And so have you. You know, you just jinxed it.

You just jinxed it!

Hey, Dan, I need the driver in the car now, please.

Okay, the tide’s coming up.

DAN: Okay.

Thank you so much. Appreciate you.

Is that Jody?

Yes, it’s Jody.

(indistinct radio chatter)

She say something about me?

Stop with youryour face. Stop it. Stop it.

She didn’t say anything about you.

Get in the car!

(exhales sharply) This is really important to her.

Yes, it’s important to her.

Is this ComicCon or something?

Hall H.

“This is one of those times,

whether it’s an inch or a mile, a win is a win.”

That’s easy. Fast and the Furious.


Let’s go. You got this.

(clears throat)

COLT: Did you see the coffee lady?

She was wearing, like, a hat.

I see you in the car.


WOMAN (over radio): Let’s get the medics in place, please.

This is the hero set. I’ve got five more after that.

Are you ready, Dan? Yeah.

DAN: Rock and roll.

NIGEL: Lock it up!

JODY: Thank you.

MAN: Three minute away

NIGEL (over radio): Okay, folks,

he’s buckled in. Stunts are ready.

MAN (over radio): Godspeed, Colt.

DAN: Everybody knows their spots.

Everybody knows their responsibilities.

NIGEL (over radio): FX, please go hot on the cannon.

DAN: Do this right.

MAN (over radio): Okay, engaging the cannon now.

DAN: We do this safe and everybody goes home.

MAN 2 (over radio): Charging the cannon.

MAN (over radio): 2,000 PSI in the cannon.

Stunts is good.

MAN 2 (over radio): Cannon is hot.

NIGEL (over radio): Cameras, where are we at?

Are you rolling? Camera one?

MAN 3: Speed on one.

NIGEL: Camera two?

MAN 4: Speed.

NIGEL: Camera three?

WOMAN: Speed on three.

(breathes deeply)

(overlapping radio chatter continues)

(breathes deeply)

NIGEL (over radio): Background. And three, two, one.

Action, action, action!

(engine revving)

♪ ♪

All right, guys, stay frosty.

NIGEL (over radio): Three, two, one!

Dan, I need him close to the camera now.

DAN: Copy that!

COLT (over radio): Look, I don’t want to be that guy,

but the sand’s a little loose.

I can’t get any traction.

When I do, it jumps,

so if you get any closer, you’re gonna lose the camera.

I know, I know, but get in there.

You got this, baby!

Move up, move up.

No, no, not that close. Oh. What the

NIGEL (over radio): Keep rolling.

We have seven more cameras. Keep rolling!


Ready in three, two, one!

NIGEL (over radio): Nobody goes in

until stunts gives the all clear.

♪ ♪

(Colt grunts)

Is he all right?

Colt, you all right?

Quickly, get him. Come on, get him.

Just get in there.

DAN: Oh, my God.

Easy, easy.

DAN: Colt, you did it!

Eight and a half rolls!

Come on, you okay? You good?

You good? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.


Jody’s coming. Hold on. Okay.

So good, Dan. Is he good?

Yeah, of course.

So good, so good.

Loved it, loved it.



♪ ♪

Whose idea was this?

I think it was Gail’s idea.

I thought it was your idea.

DAN: II just found out about this yesterday.

Dan, come on.

I didn’t approve him. I didn’t approve him.

I would never have approved him.

She didn’t approve me.

(Dan stammers)

Can I talk to you for a second?

I’m not approved.

JODY: Interesting move. Really.

Really interesting. Just very casual.

Here you are, you show up, and, “I’m your new stuntman.”

Don’t do that.

Don’t do that. You can’t do that.


Directing a movie.

Your hat’s coming off.

Why are you here?

I think there’s been a misunderstanding.


Because I was under the impression that…

…you did want me here.

That’s a delusional thought. We haven’t spoken in a year.

Let’s not get into it.

Gail, Gail But Gail told me

that you wanted me here.

Okay. Whatever.

I don’t even care about it, but you clipped the camera.

III’m a little rusty.

ComicCon shot ruined.

I’m sor I know.

Hall H. It’s a big deal.

Yeah. Yeah.


Thank you.

I’m happy for you.

This whole director thing looks good on you.

Even the gardening hat, somehow.

Everyone wears them. It’s like a set thing.


Yeah, I see it. It’s

They’re not making it look as good as you are, that’s all.

And I’m not trying to be fla I’m just saying the facts.

But you look good in everything.

You look good in nothing. Whatever.

No, I don’t mean it like that.

Really? This isn’t…

But you do look good in nothing.

This isn’t work

This isn’t gonna work.

I mean, you do.

But it’s not what I… (clicks tongue)

I’ll take anyone. Anyone else.


Anyone but him.

DAN: Can I be honest with you?

Who have you got? Yep.

We literally have no one else.

What’s next?

NIGEL: The fire burn.

DAN: It’s your call.


NIGEL: Can we get a nurse on standby, please?

We’re gonna set this man on fire.

(dramatic music playing)

(frantic shouting)

(Colt grunting)

(music stops)

JODY (over bullhorn): Cut, cut, cut.

That’s a cut.

NIGEL: Cutting there, please.

MAN: That’s a cut!

(crew chattering)

JODY: How you feeling, Colt Seavers?

MAN: He’s good.

MAN 2: He’s all good.

We’re gonna go again. Thumbsup, okay?

Technical issue. Little bump on the dolly.


Can you fix that, Jimmy?

Back to ones, please.

Thank you.

WOMAN: Going again.

MAN: Please, back to one.

JODY: Colt, do you feel a bit flung into the deep end here?

I’m just wondering, ’cause you haven’t read the script,

if you’d like some backstory, some context?

Would that be good?

Just go with it.

Yeah, helpful? Okay. Here we go.

So, scifi love story, two characters,

one of them’s an alien Aliena

and you’re Space Cowboy.

They shared what’s called a moon season.

In real life, you might call it a fling.

Um, brief but very intense.

And… hopeful.

Now, neither of them had ever been in a relationship

that deep before.

And they told each other that over and over and over again.

Him more than her, you know, to the point where

sometimes she was like, “Chill out,” you know.

But anyway, in a tragic turn of events,

Space Cowboy is wounded, and he just disappears.

Without a trace.

(blows sharply)

I can keep going.

I can hit the rock better now, thanks.

We’re going again!

MAN: Sound speed.

NIGEL: And action!

(dramatic music playing)

(Colt grunting)

JODY: That’s a cut!

(music stops)

NIGEL: Cutting there, please.


MAN: Everything okay?

MAN 2: You good?

JODY: For a little more context, Colt,

Aliena’s sort of devastated.

And she starts sort of replaying everything

in her head over and over again.

Did she misread the vibe?

Was it just a fling?

Did she let her imagination run wild again?

Or did he lie to her?

Was he full of shit?

But let me be clear:

eventually, Aliena did move on.

All right?

And she started doing Pilates.

Got herself a banging revenge body,

and then she started dating other humans.

One after another.

And she had so many mindblowing,

far superior experiences, you wouldn’t even believe it.

Right, girls?


You know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, it was like a sushi train.

(groans) I’m gonna be sick.

And do you know what? We’re gonna go again, Colt,

’cause there was a little buzz on that one.

MAN: Okay, light him up.

NIGEL: Last one, everybody. Action!

(dramatic music playing)

(Colt grunting)

(music stops)

JODY: ItIt’s just feeling so withheld,

so how ’bout some dialogue?

Yeah, that’s all right, Darla.

I’m gonna go straight to the source.

Hey, Colt, if Space Cowboy had to say something,

if he was forced to say something, what would he say?

How would he justify

this year she’s spent spinning out over this?

What could he say? It’s a puzzler, isn’t it?

But have you got any thoughts?

Uh, maybe he could talk…

Nigel, can you, can you get him a bullhorn?

I can’t hear him.


(bullhorn siren whoops)

Come again, Colt. What was that?

It’s already on.

(clears throat) In this movie,

do the aliens and the humans ever talk…

in private?

No, not really.

No private conversations?

JODY: No, they don’t like doing private.

Like, they like to keep it very public.

Very open.


Well, maybe I’ll just, uh, open it up to the group here.

Have you ever been in one of those situations where…

…you want to say something and it’s so important

that you can’t mess it up?

So, you think long and hard about it,

and then you realize…

you’ve already messed it up?

‘Cause you’ve thought too long and too hard about it?


What’s that?

You want…

(feedback squeals)

(feedback squeals)

(robotic voice): I had a similar situation

when I fell in love with my wife’s sister.

Okay. All right. What…


No. Okay.

(feedback squeals)

COLT: Uh… (clears throat)

And again, this is hard because…

you know, I haven’t read the script.


♪ ♪

…he’d probably say…

…that he’s been living…

…in total regret since then.

You know, afraid…

that he’ll never get an opportunity

to make it up to her…

…because he waited too long.


…she’s probably moved on.

NIGEL: Uh, sorry, Jody,

speaking of moving on, we, uh… (chuckles)

One more?

I’d love another chance.

Roll it, Nigel.

Let’s turn over, please!

All cameras are rolling.

Shot’s up, sound speeding.

MAN: Okay, light him up!

NIGEL: Action! Thank you!

(crowd clamoring)


(Colt grunting)

COLT: Gail?


Oh. Coffee.

(whirring, bubbling)

Mm! You’re here.

Oh, no, don’t use that. It’s broken.

Eight and a half rolls?

That is a world record!

Thank you so much. (laughs)

It’s better than parking cars, isn’t it?

(laughs excitedly)

(inhales deeply)

Would you cut the shit, Gail?

What? It was amazing. What are you talking about?

She doesn’t want me here, Gail.

Yes, she does.

Oh, of course she does.

You lied. You lied.

Oh. (clicks tongue)

Colt. (blows raspberries)

Do you know how that feels?

I think you deserve a second chance.

It’s, like, the message in all my movies.

What’s the message in all my movies?

Uh… (stammers)

Nihilism’s a viable worldview?

No, that’s just the entertainment.

That’s like the… (smacks lips)

like the sexy bacon.

What is this?

You know? It’s like dogs.

You got to wrap the message… (clicks tongue)

in some sexy bacon.

I mean, all those movies, people fall down.

They’re rolling in their own shit.

They don’t think they can cope, but they can. They get back up.

Do you mind if I lay down?

With the multiple fire burns and the cannon rolls

and the jet lag, I just…

Yep, yep, yep.

…could use a little shuteye.


Okay, let me get this straight.

Nihilism is the sexy bacon?


The audience are dogs?

There we go.

And when you fall down, you get back up.

Thank you.

I’m glad we did this.

Now, what am I really doing here, Gail?


Ryder’s missing.

He has fallen in

with some shady, shitty, shitty people.

Well, Gail…

…call the cops.

I can’t call the cops.

Well, why not?

The studio will know that I am way over budget.

They will pull the plug on this.

You know that.

Please go and find him.

Why me?

You’re a stuntman, for God’s sake.

No one’s gonna notice whether you’re here or not.

No offense.

I mean, some taken.

You know him intimately.

It can be so simple.

You pick him up, you dust him off,

you bring him back here.

I know I can trust you.

And you know who can trust you more than anyone,

she just doesn’t realize it yet, is Jody.

This is her big chance.

Do you want her first movie to be her last?

You’ve got to help me out, man.

It’s been a long couple days. (sniffs)

I’m gonna go to the hotel, I’m gonna

What is it? It’s my yesterday, it’s your tomor

I’m gonna call you your tomorrow.

Right, no. Today.

My today.

That is the door code of Ryder’s loft.

The patio door. Took it from his trailer.

He’s still doing this Postit note thing?

Oh. (stammers) Let’s not even get into that.

At this point, it’s like Memento level.

I can only keep this from Jody and the studio

48 hours max.

Save Jody’s movie,

and maybe you get the love of your life back.

Did you just turn Jody into the sexy bacon?

She’s been the sexy bacon all along.

You’re good.

It’s the only lefthand drive I have.

Please don’t wreck it. It’s product placement.

There’s only two of them.

I know how you stunties drive.

You seek to destroy all I hold dear.

(car alarm chirps)


(engine starts)

(over radio): ♪ ‘Cause there we are again ♪

♪ When I loved you so ♪

♪ Back before you lost ♪

(volume increases)

♪ The one real thing you’ve ever known ♪

♪ It was rare, I was there ♪

♪ I remember it all too well ♪

♪ ♪

♪ And maybe we got lost in translation ♪

♪ Maybe I asked for too much ♪

♪ But maybe this thing was a masterpiece ♪

♪ Till you tore it all up ♪

♪ Running scared, I was there ♪

♪ I remember it all too well ♪

♪ And you call me up again ♪

♪ Just to break me like a promise ♪

♪ So casually cruel in the name of being honest ♪

♪ I’m a crumpledup piece of paper… ♪

(song stops)

(Colt sniffles)

What are you doing?


Uh, just, uh, chilling down.

Were you “chilling down” to Taylor Swift?



It’s just something Australians say.

Really? I’ve been here for six months, I’ve never heard it.

Yeah, “chilling down under,” you know,

but it’s shorter to say “chilling down.”

Have you been crying?

Not at all.

You look like you’ve been crying.

Jet lag.

(sighs) That was so dangerous, and I’m very sorry.

Lighting you up like that.

(laughing): It was very cathartic.

I feel better.

I deserved it.

I’m gonna make the camera up to you, by the way.

Can I get in the car with you?

Clean your face. You’re a mess.

So how have you been?

Oh, you know.

Yeah? Thumbsup?

God, I hate that bullshit, that stunt guy bullshit.

(clears throat)

And that’s fine.

You don’t have to explain anything.

It’s all good. It was a fling.

Less than a fling. It was a flingette, and that’s fine.

I don’t even want to know.

And the problem with forcing something is you get nowhere.

You know, one time my mom forced my dad to exercise.

Do you know what happened?

Snapped his ankle first time he stepped on the treadmill.

She forced it, now he has a piece of metal in his foot.

Moral of the story is you should just be you.

(inhales deeply)

Well, look, I’ve thought a lot about this, actually,

and I, uh…

It’s not like I didn’t want to apologize

a million times.


Uh, it’s just, every time I…

You know, when I think of something to say…

…doesn’t seem like enough.

(chuckles): Okay.

No problem.

Boundaries. Boundaries.

That’s important.

Because I have a lot of pressure on me.

You have no idea how hard it was for me to make this movie, okay?

I just need to focus, so if you’re gonna stay here,

we need to keep it…

like, super profesh.

“Professional” is my middle name.

(chuckles) Mmhmm.

I thought your middle name was “Danger.”

That’s a stage name.

Colt Profesh Seavers.

Promise me you’re not gonna derail this, okay?


(inhales deeply) Okay.

Want to do some doughnuts?

Do you want to drive me to my car?


(engine starts)

(brakes squeak softly)

Okay, goodbye.

♪ It was rare, I was there ♪

♪ I remember it all too well ♪

♪ Wind in my hair, you were there ♪

♪ You remember it all ♪

♪ Down the stairs ♪

(engine starts)

♪ You were there ♪

♪ You remember it all… ♪

(song ends)

♪ ♪

COLT: (exhales sharply) Okay.

“Tom, long time no see.

Gail asked me to check and make sure you’re okay.”

(sighs heavily)

“Colt, thought you were dead.

Why you got to be such a pussy bitch?”

“Tom, I’m gonna have to ask you not to refer to me

as a pussy or a bitch.”

“Okay, but you got hurt like a pussy

and you’re acting like a bitch.”

(calling out): Tom?

Colt Seavers. Just checking in on you.

Jody needs you back on set, pal.

And II don’t want to be a part of

any breaking in, roleplay games.

Well, all right.

(loudly over speakers): ♪ DJ Khaled! ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ We The Best! ♪

♪ All I do is win, win, win, no matter what ♪

♪ Got money on my mind, I can never get enough ♪

♪ And every time I step up in the building ♪

♪ Everybody hands go up ♪

♪ And they stay there ♪

♪ And they say, “Yeah!” and they stay there ♪

♪ Up, down, up, down, up, down ♪

♪ ‘Cause all I do is win, win, win ♪

♪ And if you going in… ♪

(squawking rhythmically)

♪ Make ’em stay there ♪

♪ Luda! ♪

♪ Ludacris going in on the verse ♪

♪ ‘Cause I never been defeated and I won’t stop now ♪

♪ Keep your hands up, get ’em in the sky ♪

♪ For the homies that didn’t make it ♪

♪ And my folks locked down ♪

♪ I never went nowhere, but they saying, “Luda’s back…” ♪

(groans) Coffee.

♪ The hood call it Luda ‘gnac ♪

♪ Can’t never count me out, y’all better count me in ♪

♪ Got 20 bank accounts, accountants count me in ♪

♪ Make millions every year, the South’s champion ♪

♪ ‘Cause all I do, all I, all I, all I, all I do is ♪

♪ All I do is win, win… ♪

(sword rings)

(woman yells)

What the…!

(grunts fiercely)


(woman yells)


♪ Everybody hands go up… ♪

(coffee splashes)

(frustrated grunt)


(sword rings)



♪ Win, and if you going in ♪

♪ Put your hands in the air, make ’em stay there ♪

♪ And they say, “Yeah!” and they stay there ♪

♪ Up, down, up, down, up, down… ♪

(music stops)

(woman growls)

Why do you look so familiar?

(grunts fiercely)

(yells, grunts)

Where do I know you from?

I’m Iggy Starr, lead actress on Metalstorm.

(dramatic music playing)

I’m Ryder’s girlfriend.


You’re in Metalstorm.


Hey, were you in that movie Carjacked

where that guy named Jack steals your car

and then you shoot him in the hand and you say,

“I hope you know how to drive stick”?

And it doesn’t make sense ’cause it’s like,

should be “automatic,” but the way you say it…

That’s Naomi Watts!


(yelling fiercely)

COLT: I’m just a stunt guy.

I’m working on Metalstorm, too.

You lie! We’re only on Metalstorm 1.

I meant also!




(groans dramatically)

(Iggy pants)

Is this a prop sword?

Mmhmm. I’m a good actress.

Hey, if you are really working on Metalstorm,

why are you sneaking around here?

Just trying to find Ryder.

He’s, like, really drugged up and paranoid right now.

He thinks someone’s trying to kill him.

And I’m like, “If you don’t finish Metalstorm,

I’m gonna kill you myself.”

Now, there is some dark shit going on.

And the sooner I can get out of here, the better.

(sighs): Wow.

Any idea where I could find him?

Uh, you could try this club he hangs out at.

But you’re never gonna get in looking like a povo.

What’s a povo?

A poor person like you.

Oh. Cool.

IGGY: What’s with your Miami Vice Stunt Team jacket?

COLT: Oh, it was the first show I ever did.

I had to jump a boat through a ring of fire.

I got so good I could do it

with my hands tied behind my back.


You’re really into yourself.

(“Do It Like That” by Saint Bodhi playing)

I mean, you know, you did ask.

It’s neon night at the club.

He’s always there with this guy called Doone

who’s his drug dealer.

He’s got, like, leopard print tats on his head.

They won’t let a nobody like you into the club,

so just act like Tom. You’re his stunt double.

You know how to do that, don’t you?

Yeah. I’ll just act like I own everything and everyone

and there’s no repercussions for my actions.

(song continues over speakers)

(crowd cheering)

♪ I do it like that… ♪

(lively chatter)

WOMAN: Oh, my God. Is that Tom Ryder?

MAN: Hey, Tom!

(excited shouting)

Stuntman! Yeah, yeah, Iggy said you were gonna come see me.

Yeah, sit down, get a drink.

Hey, hey, get him a drink. What do you want?

Oh, no, no, I’m good. I’m good.

I’m just looking for Ryder. You seen him?

Get him a Shirley Temple. Sit down, brother, sit down.

Uh, honestly, no offense, Mr. Doone.

I just want to find Ryder.

How come no one ever wants to chat with the drug dealer?

Sorry. I, uh…

I mean no… no disrespect.

Just had a long day. Ryder hasn’t shown up to work.

That was fast.

You do a stunt today?

Uh, just a, yeah, car roll.

Just a car roll?

(song swells, crowd cheering)

Hear how he said that? “Just a car roll!”

What a stuntman! My man!

It’s what I do.

Hey, that’s why I like you.

‘Cause you do all the hard shit.

They give Oscars for that?

For stunts?


(clicks tongue) Nope.

Hey, to the unsung heroes.

I’ll drink to that.

(chuckles): Yeah.


(exhales heavily)

No offense, but I prefer cartoons.

See, movies are always trying to make things real.

But it’s not real. It’s a movie.

It’s not meant to be real.

(excited laughter and chatter)

That’s why I like cartoons.

(voice distorting): See, ’cause cartoons

don’t pretend to be real.

(audio distorting)

That’s what I like about them. You seen Dumbo?


Yeah, Dumbo.

Dumbo changed my life.

You know that scene when Dumbo gets into the bad champagne,

then he starts seeing the pink elephants

on parade and shit?

I was like, “Yes, please.

“I’ll have what he’s having!

Make it a double!”

(distorted laughter)

Hey, stuntman?


Why don’t you come with us?

We’ll get you nice and comfortable at the hotel, huh?

(distorted grunting, groaning)

(distorted laughing)

(distorted screaming)

(crowd cheering)

Move, move! Get out of the way! Get Move! Come on!

Get out the way! Move! Get off me!

WOMAN: (gasps) Hey!

Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go! Taxi! Come on, come on.

Come on, brother, let’s go.


See you, mate.

Be well, mate.

♪ ♪

(echoing): What are you doing, Colt?

You know what I’m doing. I’m gonna stop this car.

You’re clearly high, Colt. And you’re clearly chickenshit!

Okay, we don’t have time for this. Talk about this later.

(car approaching)

(horn blaring)

(tires squealing)



Yeah, okay.

DOONE: Driver, what are you doing?

Drive! Drive, bro!

Listen. Hey, you need to chill. Just relax. Just re

Hey, just relax! I’m a lover, not a fighter, okay? Just…

Where’s Ryder?!

I just drugged you

’cause they paid me to.

Who’s “they”?


The guy that runs Ryder’s security.

I deliver drugs to him

at the Pendleton Hotel sometimes, okay?

What room?

Bro, I don’t know what room.

You know, it changes.

Just ask Kevin for the, for the fruit plate.

He’ll give you the key.


Kevin! KEVIN. For the…

I know Kevin!

You know Kevin?

I don’t know Kevin.

Well, then you’re gonna get to know Kevin.

Ask him for a fruit plate, and he’ll give you keys.

(slurring): How long does this last?


How long is this gonna last?

Bro, what are you even saying?

How… long does this last?

Oh. When you stop seeing unicorns.


(clicks tongue)

I’d like to speak to Kevin. (pants)

WOMAN: Kevin’s, uh, on a break.

Okay, maybe you can help me. Can I order the “fruit plate”?

Okay. Do you want me to call “room service”?

I don’t know. Is that what happens?

DDo you have a room?

Should I just…

Do I need one?

To order the fr…


The fruit plate.

Hey, Colt.

Fruit plate.

Woof, wow.

That’s a look.

Hi. Hey.

What happened to your face?


Hi. Okay. (chuckles)


Sorry about that. (chuckles)

Are you good?

It’s just good…

What’s wrong with you?

It’s good to see you.

Wow, you look terrible.

You look amazing.

Did you fall? What happened to you?

Wow. You’re so pretty.

(chuckles) It’s crazy.

Okay. Your face is bleeding.


What happened to you?

Oh. No, I was running. Just I was running.

Very unusual athleisure wear for a run.

(smacks lips) This?


Yeah, they gave me the wrong bags at the airport,

but, you know, it’s it works.

(stammers) I can sweat.

If I’m gonna play Ryder, I thought I should just,

like, cut weight a little, you know…

You seem kind of tweaky.

I’m a little… spotty.

Like, when I my glucose levels get low.

I get a little… (whistles)

Okay, is that a new thing?

(breathes deeply)

Is that a new thing?

What’s that?

Is that a new thing?

Is your hair new?

Yes, I cut it.

I changed my hair.

It’s beautiful.

You changed your number. We’re even.

I thought we’d sort of even the score.

Yeah. I have a lot of new s

You know, I’ve learned a lot about myself

sincesince we last seen each other.

Why’d you disappear like that?

God, I wanted to be there for you.

GAIL: Yeah, but how’s she supposed to do quality work

if you keep harassing her all the time?

(growls playfully, laughs)

Okay. Can you go and grab your things?

We have really got to zip.

Okay. Yep.

What’s going on?


Colt, you’re…

(clears throat)

You look like you’ve been busy.

Yeah, real busy, Gail.

Yeah, good.

Lot of running around, Gail.

We’ll get a drink and discuss that.

But right now, the studio…

so far up my ass, I can taste them.

We need your third act.

Okay. Yep.

You having problems with the third act?

We’re gonna, we’re gonna go and do things right now.

I need to write it. I’m gonna go write it. I just

It’s like the studio are wanting me

to contort the love story so that it all ends happily

and everything’s rosy and…

Jody, Jody, Jody.

But I feel like if I…

lean into reality, then maybe that’s the way to go.

And most love stories don’t end well. Usually.

Know what I mean?

I strongly disagree with that,

so we should keep chopping it up.

Yeah? Should we?

It’s important. It’s the ending.


(man clears throat)

(clears throat)






Um, I hear that you’re interested

in aa fruit platter.

(whispering): Kevin?

(whispering): Yes.

Yes. Okay, so…


It’sit’s on… it’s on ice.

♪ ♪

(breathes deeply)

(lock beeps)

(gentle piano music playing over speakers)

(scanner beeps)

Yep. There we go. Sorry.

♪ ♪



(lock beeps)


(muffled ringtone playing)

(ringtone continues)


JODY (over phone): What do you think about split screen?



Is this okay I’m calling? You said to call and…

Yes. Yeah, it’s fine.

Yeah? We could chop it up?

It’s, uh… Let’s chop it up.

It’s a good time. I’m not doing anything.

Okay. Great. Uh, so, split screen, right?

Do you think that it’s, like, nostalgic super cool

or do you think it’s a gimmick?


Um, I think it could be super cool.


Yeah, how do you, uh, want to use it?

I mean, you know, tell me. Tell me everything. (chuckles)

Tell me, you know, about your vision.

So, I like that they’re onscreen together.

But they are in separate worlds…


…you know, visually and emotionally.

So you’ve got this very prominent divide

between the lovers.

And I want that.

You want the divide?

I want the divide, yes.


It’s funny ’cause II didn’t get the impression

that there was that much keeping them apart.

Well, you haven’t read the script.

All I know so far is that the alien lady and the cowboy

are having what seem to be pretty manageable problems.

Jody? Jod How’s this?

Manageable problems?

The aliens invaded Earth, and they left it in tatters.

So this whole thing the studio are pushing for,

the “love conquers all” thing…

(inhales deeply) I’m not buying it.

Well, I have to admit that I’m surprised to hear you say that.


Well, I’m just a boy in a neon suit

standing in front of a girl, reminding her

that Notting Hill is her favorite movie

and she watches Love Actually every year at Christmas.

Well, you know, I watched it again this year,

and I didn’t love it, actually.

Wow, it’s worse than I thought.

Yeah, I’m ruined.

Yeah, it’s a really sad day for Notting Hi as well.

That “happily ever after” stuff, unsubscribe me.

I didn’t get “happily ever after” from Notting Hill.

What are you talking about? Of course you did.

Did you?

Yes, of course. They’re ly

They’re on the park bench. She’s got her head in his knee.

She’s a “regular girl.”

Maybe, but we don’t know for sure

she’s not gonna go back to working the street.

All we know is that in the beginning,

she’s pretty much up for anything but kissing,

and in the end, she’s open to kissing him.

(laughs): No. No.

And it gives us hope.

You have got your Julia Roberts movies so twisted.

And that’s all we want. A little hope.

No, that is Pretty Woman,

where she is a lady of the night,

and this is Notting Hill,

where she’s a very famous actress.

Oh. Well, don’t listen to me.

What do I know? Look, you’re the director.

You’re gonna make the right choice.

I’m just saying, for people like me,

who may not necessarily get the metaphor of the split screen.

You may not get the deeper metaphor,

but you’re gonna see it.

You’re gonna see this bright line between them

that we’re gonna ache to see blur.

You know, but maybe it can’t.


Maybe it doesn’t.

Right. Right. Yeah.

(breathes deeply)

But what do we know, right?

‘Cause all we know at this point

is that the cowboy likes the alien.

Does the alien like the cowboy?

She’s on the fence.


Because they got problems.

Because she’s an alien and he’s a cowboy, and that’s a problem.

But is it a problem they can’t overcome?

Here’s a question.

Are they even gonna try?

What do you think?

Do you think they’re gonna try?

I think… (sighs)

I think this was a great brainstorm.


what’d you decide about the split screen?

I have a better idea.


I don’t think you need it.

I think the connection between these characters is so strong

that nothing can come between them.




♪ ♪

(mug shatters)

GAIL (over phone): Hello?

Dead guy on ice.


There’s a dead guy on ice at the hotel, Gail.

Wait. Sorry. What are you talking about?

Well, if you think that doesn’t make sense,

don’t order the fruit plate.

Hold on.

You’re seriously telling me you’ve just seen a dead body?

Yes, Gail.

On the rocks. In the hotel.

What hotel?

The one I just saw you in, Gail!

He was so dead, Gail.

He was very dead. Super dead.

Hold on. How did you even get there?

Gail, you asked me to do this! Okay?

So please try and keep up.

I know. I’m sticking.

I went to Ryder’s apartment just like you told me.

That’s where Iggy with the sword gave me the neon suit

and they sent me to the man with the leopard print head.

He goes by the name of Doone.

It was Doone’s goons who dirtied my Shirley,

and not in a fun way, Gail.

I think they were trying to kill me, Gail!

Step away and calm down.

I am gonna handle everything.

No more handling!


I want the police!

You’re very aggressive.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry to yell. I want the police.

You are not gonna talk to the police.

You don’t talk to anyone about this, okay?


You listen to me.

I’m calling the police.

You are not talking to the police.

Excuse me, sir.

GAIL: Wait, who’s there?

Who’s there? Who’s there?

It’s the police. I’m gonna talk to them.

No, no, no, no, no! Don’t talk…

No parking at any time.


Just making sure we’re both here.

I’mI’m here, mate.

I want to report a crime.


An ice crime.


Yeah. You’re still getting a ticket, mate.

(softly): All right.

COLT: I got to tell Jody.

(whispers): About the dead guy.

How do you know he was dead?

He could’ve just been knocked out.

On ice?


Ice baths are very good for inflammation.

And are you forgetting that you were high?

How can I if you keep fixating

on that one point?

Okay, you know what,

let me just stop you right there.

Whatever you told Jody last night

has got her all fired up.

I don’t know what I said.

About what?

And now I have to build a truck

for a 250foot jump.


In a day and a half!

Sounds pretty cool, actually.

And on top of that, the fight scene today,

Jody has decided that she wants to do it all in one take.

A oner.

JODY: Dan, did you tell him about the oner?


So cool.



So good. He’s into it.


Hey. Yeah, can I talk to you for a second?


about this sequence today, Ryder’s a noshow.


Again, he’s probably on a bender or something.

Well, it’s interesting you say that,

because that’s…


…that’s what I want to talk to you about.

Me, too.

Me, too. Because we don’t even need him.

He… (chuckles)


We don’t need him. I had an epiphany last night.

Let me just tell you.

Last night?

I was so excited.


After we spoke, it all came to me.


Yeah, the third act, this sequence,

all of it. I’ve been s…

After talking to me?

Yeah. You know, I was shocked

when you showed up. Right?



Well, it was… shocking.

But I just started to wonder if maybe

you showed up just at the right time, and…

I’ve been going for this thing in the action,

and I’ve never been able to get it.

Like, this feeling of the pursuit of love.

And how far would you go for the one that you love and…

(choking chuckles)

You know? And then… (chuckles)


You know, I realize it’s not very far with Ryder,

’cause he’s a drip.


And he runs weird.


And he can’t do action. But…

Well, it’s…

…you can.

You can.


I’m unlimited with you.

I can do everything and everything with you,

and it just made my brain just…

(mimics explosion)

So cool.

I don’t need cuts. I don’t need gimmicks.


I don’t need anything. I just need you.


To finish this movie.

You know, maybe even make it a great movie.


You know?

Wow. Okay.

What do you think?

Do you want to work together?

Shoot the shit out of Sydney Opera House in four hours?

Three hours and 52 minutes.

Three hours and 52 minutes?


What are we waiting for?

Okay, good. (chuckles) Good! Okay!

Venti, Venti, come on.

I’m gonna get some dots on your face, ’cause I need you

but not your face.

Oh, God. Get Yeah, just get rid of it.

Yeah, I’m gonna stick Ryder’s head on you.

All of it. Just

Okay. Cool. Okay, okay.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Ready for a take? Make it rain, please!

(“I Believe in a Thing Called Love” by The Darkness playing)

Let me get out, for Christ’s sake.

And… action!



♪ Can’t explain all the feelings ♪

♪ That you’re making me feel ♪



♪ My heart’s in overdrive and you’re behind ♪

♪ The steering wheel ♪

♪ Touching you ♪

♪ Touching me ♪

♪ Touching you ♪

♪ God, you’re touching me ♪

♪ I believe in a thing called love ♪

♪ Just listen to the rhythm of my heart ♪

♪ There’s a chance we could make it now ♪

♪ We’ll be rocking till the sun goes down ♪

♪ I believe in a thing called love ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Huh! ♪

♪ ♪


♪ I want to kiss you every minute, every hour ♪

♪ Every day ♪

♪ You got me in a spin, but everythin’ is Aokay ♪

♪ Touching you ♪

♪ Touching me ♪

♪ Touching you ♪

♪ God, you’re touching me ♪


♪ I believe in a thing called love ♪

♪ Just listen to the rhythm of my heart ♪

♪ There’s a chance we could make it now ♪

♪ We’ll be rocking till the sun goes down ♪

♪ I believe in a thing called love ♪

♪ Oh…! ♪


JODY: Thank you.

How’d we do, boss?

Yeah, it was good.

I mean, it was amazing.

It was so amazing, we’re gonna go do some karaoke,

if you…


If you like karaoke,

you know, you could you could come.

Like, I’d I would like you to.

I’ll be there.

Okay. (clicks tongue)

I don’t know what that was.

That was just so awful and… (chuckles)

Really? Okay.

Yeah, who’s she?



Holster that.

It’s holstered.

It’s done. Forget. Youyou never saw it.

NIGEL: Jody, do you like Christina or Britney?

I saw that.

You saw the finger guns?

Oh, I saw the finger guns.


She started it.


COLT: I didn’t ha I didn’t have breakfast.

MADDY: Yeah, you did.

I disagree.

I gave you a brekky wrap this morning.

Technically, this is all meal penalty,

if you want the…


It’s fine. Justjust sign.


I’m just saying, not everyone’s gonna be as cool

about it as I am. You know?

No, I get it.

What is this?

I’ve got you on a 5:55 flight out of here. Okay?

I have a car waiting for you.


Engine’s on. Yeah. Colt…

there is some serious shit going down, okay?

I just told Jody I was gonna meet her for karaoke.

And I’m actually embarrassed that I got you here

and got you all tangled up.


I just want to get you out of here before it escalates.

Get your stuff together. We’re going.

You’re gonna miss the flight. Thank you.


ALMA: Okay, but I’m late,

and I got to get Ryder’s dogs to daycare.

Fluffy needs her oatmeal bath. She gets hives.

BIRDIE: Hey, should I be looking for another job, Alma?

You’re Ryder’s assistant. You must know.

All I can tell you is that if Ryder is a noshow tomorrow,

the studio will shut us down.

Ugh. Poor Jody.

Say hello to directors’ jail.

♪ If you want to be with me… ♪

Am I crazy or is Nigel hot?

Whoo! Hmm?

♪ I’m a genie in a bottle ♪

JODY: He’she’s…

He Wow, he’s got some great qualities.

He really does. Yeah, you should go for it, Venti.




♪ ♪

(barking, growling)

COLT: JeanClaude.

Sorry, his commands are in French…

French. I know.

I worked with him on a movie, you know.

Can’t believe he kept him.

Well, it’s more for a party trick, really.

This one’s got a command where he’ll bite people

in the balls.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wewe know.

(stammers) No, no, don’t. Attaque…

Alma, right? I’m Colt…

Colt Seavers.

I know who you are.

NIGEL: ♪ If you want to be with me ♪

♪ I can make your wish come true ♪

♪ You got to make a big impression ♪

♪ You got to like what you do ♪

♪ I’m a genie in a bottle… ♪

So, the last time I saw Tom, everything was pretty normal.

He and Henry were in some kind of druginduced,

shirtless shitshow grappling match.

But then Gail called me early the next morning in a panic.

Drop whatever you’re doing.

Tom has lost his phone again.

So I found the phone, the one that Dressler,

Ryder’s creepy security goon, just called me about.

Metalstorm crew, we have a call time

of 6:00 a.m. tomorrow. Don’t be late.

All right, mate.

All right, thanks, mate!


Hey. Two shots of tequila, please.

Ooh, Gail.



I didn’t think you liked coming to these things.

What are you talking about? I love listening to people

murder my favorite songs. Thank you.


(slurps) Mmm.

MC: “Gin and Juice.”

COLT: I got to get to karaoke.


(dogs barking)

ALMA: Thanks, Amy.

Au revoir, JeanClaude.

You got to get rid of that thing.

Why don’t you just give it to Gail?

Whatever’s on this phone is a goddamn bazooka

that’ll blow a movie starsized hole

through somebody’s career.

I’m happy to get this into the hands of a good guy.


For the right price.

What do you want for it?

A producer credit.

On Metalstorm?

Look, I need career protection, okay?

I’m burning myself with this.

I’m a stunt guy.

What am I supposed to do about it?

You’re a stunt guy who used to date the director

and seems to be getting close to rekindling

some sort of short but legendary torrid love affair.

Do you think we’re close to rekindling?

I mean, it feels like it to me…

(scoffs) Is it a deal or not?

It can help you find Ryder.

I’ll do what I can.


I don’t have the passcode.

Just figure it out, okay, stuntman?

Just find Ryder.

I’m gonna need you to sign an NDA.

As you know, nothing in this industry…

I don’t have time for an NDA. I got to

I’m late for karaoke.


(stun guns crackle)


(dogs barking)

(truck doors closing)

(tires squealing)

(horn blares)

♪ ♪



Ryder’s phone. Where is it?

(engine starts)

What am I doing? What am I doing?

(tires squealing)

You sad that he left town?



No, he didn’t.

He’s coming here. He’s swinging by to sing some karaoke.

Jody. No.

I… I gave him the tickets.


I see it! I see it!


Engage your core.

(tires squealing)


(tires squealing)

I need him to finish the movie.

Why would why wouldn’t you talk to me about it?

(tires squealing)

Give me that.



Call me chicken.



All right. Okay, tough guy.

(horn blaring)



Okay, JeanClaude.

I’ll buy you a drink when this is over.



Get away! Help! Help!

You’ve been so distracted. You should have spoken to me.

This crossed wires Excuse me.

Can I get another, please? Thank you.

(Rondell shouting frantically)


(screams) Get me out!

(passing horn honks)

(button beeps)

RONDELL: Stay back! Stay back! Stay back! Stay back!


I thought you wanted me to get rid of him.

And he just left?

Gonna need a hand out here.


Who are you working for?! Where’s Ryder?!

I don’t know! I don’t know!

Tell me where he is!

(sharp thud)


(tires squealing)

(horns blaring)



Where’s the phone, stuntman?

I need that video!

Wow, he didn’t tell you.



(pained screaming)

Can I get another one, please?


Thank you.

I really thought I was doing my job.

It’s fine. It’s fine.

But you know what?

He can do whatever he wants.

He’s an adult human male, and he should do as he pleases.

He should just…

Right. Yeah, he is.

(mouth full): …you know, go his own way, you know?

But that means yyou can focus up now.


You know, you have a massive

Do you know you have a big, fat hit on your hands?

I know. Yeah.

It’s High Noon at… High Noon.

…the edge of the universe.

Edge of the universe.

Yes. Hear it yourself.

Forget about him. Just…

MC: All right, uh, next up, uh, we got a Jody.

Is there a Jody in the house?

Wow. God.

GAIL: Yes!

Right here, right here!

Ah. There she is.

Big round of applause for Jody!

(crowd cheering)

I actually want to change my song.

Oh, uh, okay.

Yeah. Yeah.

That one.


♪ ♪

(passing horn blares)

(“Against All Odds” by Phil Collins playing)

(singing along): ♪ How can I just let you walk away ♪

♪ Just let you leave without a trace ♪

♪ When I stand here taking every breath with you? ♪

(passing horn honks)


♪ Ooh, ooh ♪


♪ You’re the only one ♪

♪ Who really knew me at all ♪


(passing horn honks)

♪ How can you just walk away from me ♪

♪ When all I can do is watch you leave? ♪



♪ ‘Cause we’ve shared the laughter and the pain ♪

(tires squealing)


♪ And even shared the tears ♪

♪ You’re the only one ♪

♪ Who really knew me at all ♪

♪ So take a look at me now ♪

♪ Well, there’s just an empty space ♪

I love this song.

♪ And there’s nothing left here to remind me ♪

♪ Just the memory of your face ♪

(horn blares)

♪ Ooh, take a look at me now ♪

♪ Well, there’s just an empty space ♪

♪ And you coming back to me ♪

♪ Is against the odds ♪

♪ And that’s what I’ve got to face ♪

♪ I wish I could just make you turn around ♪

♪ Turn around and see me cry ♪

♪ There’s so much I need to say to you ♪

♪ So many reasons why ♪

(both yelling)

♪ You’re the only one ♪

♪ Who really knew me at all ♪

Come on, everyone. Everybody.

♪ So take a look at me now ♪

♪ Well, there’s just an empty space ♪

♪ And there’s nothing left here to remind me… ♪

(horn honking)

Get off, bitch!

♪ Now, take a look at me now… ♪

(horn blares)


♪ But to wait for you… ♪


I can’t!

There’s something stuck! (grunts)

JeanClaude, what are you doing?!

What are you just sitting there for?!

♪ Take a good look at me now… ♪

(tires squealing)

(song stops)




ALMA: You okay?

(song resumes)


♪ But to wait for you is all I can do ♪

♪ And that’s what I’ve got to face ♪

(crowd singing along): ♪ Take a good look at me now ♪

♪ ‘Cause I’ll still be standing here ♪

♪ And you coming back to me is against all odds ♪

(JeanClaude barking)

♪ It’s the chance I’ve got to take. ♪

(“I Hate Myself for Loving You” playing)

♪ Midnight, getting uptight ♪


♪ And where are you? ♪

Where’s Jody?

She left. Where were you?

At a rave? In a sewer?

What’s with the dog?

It’s a long story.

(clicks tongue, sighs)

Give me a sunset on ice and a water back.

BARTENDER: Coming right up.

VENTI: ♪ Things that you do ♪

♪ I want to walk, but I run back to you… ♪

DAN: What’s this?

It’s Ryder’s phone.

Why do you have Ryder’s phone?

All I know is

some really bad guys are trying to get it.

Are you serious? What?

I just got to figure out what’s on there.

Then find Ryder and get him to finish Jody’s movie.

Okay. Well, shit, yeah.

Venti, she’s like a tech genius at this stuff.

(crowd cheering)

Thank you!

DAN: Hey, Venti!



What’s poppin’ on, boys?

Yeah, Ventinator.

(grunting playfully)

COLT: You know how to get into this thing?

Oh, I’ve seen some of these guys.

This thing is a vault.

It’ll take me like two or three days to crack this thing.

Yeah, but you’re like a tech genius, you know?

What if you don’t have three days?

VENTI: You need the password. I’m telling you that.

You’re next.

(gasps, squeals)

Nigel. Nigel!

Knowing Ryder, it’s…

written on a Postit note in his apartment somewhere.


MC: Okay, next up, we’ve got Dan.

Come on, buddy. Come on, Dan.

Don’t be shy, mate.

Come on, buddy. Let’s go.

You owe me!

(exhales sharply) It’s got to be around here somewhere.


Let’s just split up. JeanClaude…


♪ ♪



You know what? I deserve this.



Colt! I got it! Colt!

COLT: To finishing the movie.

I think I got it.

(sucks teeth) All right.

That guy mentioned a video.

Oh, baby, I’m here at work,

but I got a little something for you, a little surprise.

(whispers): It’s just above my ass. Eh?

COLT: Oh, my God. Cover your eyes.

I think I’ve seen Tom’s ass more than my own.



Now is the winter of our discontent

Made glorious summer by this sun of York…

DAN: He’s such a dick.

But, God, he’s good.


COLT: What about this?

(crowd cheering)

(rap music playing)

Oh, here’s that party his assistant was talking about.

DAN: Iggy.

That’s Henry. That’s Ryder’s stunt double.

He looks a lot like the guy I saw at the hotel.

DAN: When you were high? And you were seeing unicorns?

And a dead guy on ice.


(crowd cheering)

(yells excitedly)

RYDER: Hell yeah! Come on!

What?! What?!

Do I do my own stunts?

I think I do.

I think I freakin’ do.

Yeah, baby.

(cheering quiets)

(scattered whooping, murmuring)

RYDER: Uh, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme…

Gimme the phone. Gimme the phone.

Oh, shit.

Did they just kill Henry?

♪ ♪

They just killed Henry.

(phone vibrating)

Oh, it’s Venti.

Hey, uh… Hello?


Turn on the news right now.

I can’t believe this!

The dead body discovered this morning at the Pendleton Hotel

has been identified as Henry Herrera,

an American stuntman known for doubling superstar Tom Ryder.

Authorities are investigating his death as a murder.

Their prime suspect is another stuntman,

Colt Seavers, who was last seen in the hotel room

where Herrera’s body was discovered.

Police have released this security footage

showing Seavers leaving the scene of the crime.

If you have any information, please do us a favor,

reach out to Crime Stoppers by the number on your screen.

And we’ll have more on that later. In the meantime…

I got to call Jody.

RYDER (over speakers): It’s high noon

at the edge of the universe, folks.


JODY: Which one was that?

EDITOR: That was take four.

RYDER (over speakers): Goddamn it, Jody.

I mean, it looks like frickin’ Burning Man.

My balls are drenched. I need a towel.


This dude always forgets that he’s mic’d.

I know.

He says the craziest shit.

JODY: Craziest shit. I know, I know.

What, is it on airplane mode?

DAN: If this was The Fugitive

and you were Harrison Ford…

the bad guys would be closing in.


(cockatoo squawks)

BOTH: I call tomahawk.

Damn it.

You stay alive.

Stay alive.

No matter how long it takes.

No matter how far, I will

find you!

Last of the Mohicans.


boy! Stunts!

(groans) Damn it.

Shit, is this rubber? Oh, God.


(grunts softly)


Daniel DayLewis!








Jason Bourne!

(both grunting)



(grunts, groans)

(gun cocks)

(gun cocks, fires)

(both grunting)

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson!


Give me the phone!

Where’s the phone, stuntman?

We got to get this phone to the cops.

DAN: Okay.

COLT: It’s the only thing




(both grunting)

COLT: Hey, man bun!

Where’s the phone, stuntman?

JeanClaude, attaque!



(gun cocks)


I’m gonna take that.

Be careful of that, big fella.

Shut up!

I’m gonna go out the front and make sure no one’s there.


All right.

Hey, take JeanClaude, would you?

Okay. Allonsy!


Just you and me, stuntman.


(phone beeps)

Colt’s down.

Big fella got away, though.


You can make it.

You can make it. You can make it. You can make it!

No! It’s too dangerous!

Got to be stairs.

Okay, okay, okay, okay!


(guns cocking)

Colt. Hey, man.


(prolonged yelling over speakers)

Look at that. Yeah, makin’ a movie here.

Could you leave us, please?


JODY: Ooh, Gail. So tense.

RYDER: You remember old Dressy, right?

(groans, exhales)


I never forget a fist. (sighs)

Listen, I’m gonna need the phone. Where is it?

It’s a matter of urgency. I need to know.

Right. The one that proves that you killed Henry, not me.


That phone.



I’m gonna hold on to that.

Seems like it’s the only thing keeping me alive right now.


He’s the prime suspect, Jody.

Gail, come on. Are you kidding me?

I know.



There’s no way.

That’s what I said.

There’s no way!

What went wrong?

What went wrong?


What went wrong? Well, as I look at it,

you know, you’re you’re torturing me

right outside your superyacht like a Bond villain.


What went wrong?

What went right?!

(exhales) You changed.

You changed.

Yeah. We used to be like brothers, you and I.

Entered into the sacred bond of actor and stuntman, man.

Oh, God.


You think Colt could murder a human being?

GAIL: No, I don’t.

Did you tell them that?

I said that.

This is a man

This is a man who spent 23 minutes

ushering a cockroach out of my room once,

and I was like, “Just stomp on it,” and he was like,

“No, let it live.” I mean, it’s Colt.

I told them all of that.

I told him who he is who I thought he was.

Did you, emphatically?

Yes, I did.

Yeah, because he

was at the airport where you sent him.

He never got on the plane, Jody.

How many movies have we done?

Oh, I don’t know.

How many? Yeah, too many to count, that’s right.


‘Cause I put you in the contract, didn’t I?

I put you there, right there.


Yeah? That’s right,

I had the assistant, the makeup and hair…


…uh, trainer, and then boom,

Ryder’s number one stuntman, Colt Seavers.

That was me, I did that. I did that for you.

What are you gonna do for me? Huh?

Die, I guess?

Right? Die?

Is that the plan?

RYDER: It’s nothing personal.

Oh, my God. Well, I’m taking it personal.

Yeah, I can see that.

The torture.

You know what? It’s just business.

The drugging, the Taser.

You know, it’s just business.

I mean, Tom Ryder’s a global brand.

I’m taking it personal.

I literally move markets.

If I go down… (whooshes) the freakin’ Dow goes down.

If you break your back, I replace you like this. Boom.

You know, if you’d just stuck to your job

instead of trying to hog the spotlight,

this wouldn’t have happened. I mean, Henry wouldn’t be

on the scene, his accident wouldn’t have happened,

your accident… freaky little fall.

‘Cause you just push my buttons, man.

Wait a second. What?

(Ryder sighs deeply)

RYDER: What?

What did you say about my accident?

Well, you know, you pushed me over the edge.

You literally pushed a button. I mean, you didn’t

I mean, I pushed the button.

I had to crank it up a notch.

That was you?


Had to teach you a little lesson, didn’t I?

(Southern accent): Got a little too big for your boots,

didn’t you?

(normal accent): Henry’s no different, you know.


Hey. You do your own stunts?

Do I do my own stunts?

In front of all those people, that’s humiliating.

And yeah, I’m gonna kick you into next week.

(scoffs) But then Gail, you know…

Remember Gail, right?

I’ve known her for 15 years.

Oh, yeah. I forget, ’cause you’ve been out of the game

so long, you know?

I introduced the two of you.

Calls me up and says, “It doesn’t look good.”

Bad for marketing and renting,

and blah, blah, blah, and murder and…

I know, III d (sniffles)

(crying): I real I really don’t need this right now.

Fucking Henry!

Don’t worry about it.

You lay low…

and I will handle everything.

Maybe we don’t know people as well as we think we do.

Oh, my God.

You know?

Oh, my God, it’s Colt.

Give me the phone.


What are you doing?

Gail, get off the pho

Oh! What are you doing?

Oh, my Jesus Christ, Gail!

Oh, my Oh, I’m so sorry.

Oh, my God.

Let me help you.

No, stop it.

Let me take it up to

Do you know what?

Just give me a minute.


Just give me a minute.


Come on.

RYDER: This plan was so simple.

Yeah, we were gonna put Henry’s body on ice

so it doesn’t decompose.

We could pull you out from that rock you crawled under.

My life, yep.

You know, scan your face.

Dressy here is gonna stick you on the murder video.

Drug you, drive you and Henry’s body

off the Sydney Harbour Bridge, in your car boom.

You got murder, suicide.

Cut. Check the gate.

Move on. Beautiful.

I think we have different ideas of what simple is.

YYou just didn’t stay down, did you?

You had to, like, uh, create a big scene,

like Colt Seavers does.

You could But you know what? This can still work

because we got the murder, now we just need the suicide.

(sighs heavily)


It’s plot heavy.

We’re getting tangled in exposition.

Lose the last part the suicide.

You lose the audience if there’s too much.


Where’s the phone?

Tom, you need carbs!

Your brain runs on glucose!

(stammers) For simple cognitive functions.

You need them.

Colt, you’re the fall guy.

You’re the fall guy, you know.

Where’s the phone?

I mean, I You can keep taking hits all night,

but you know what?

I can think of a few other people who can’t.

We could bring Dan up here, maybe Jody, perhaps.

I mean, I like Jody, but you know.

There’s no phone.

Okay? That’s the twist.

No phone.

He shot it out of my hand.

Up there, go check.

You, too, all of you. I’ll wait.

(laughs) He shot it.

You didn’t know you did that?

It’s crazy. I’ve been wanting to tell you this whole time.

No, he didn’t.

I was by the door frame.


And he shoots it out of my hands!


Take the ties off.

Oh, my God, what a relief.

That’s crazy.

You were right about one thing, that was the only thing

keeping you alive. (sighs)

I really wish you could see

what Jody’s gonna do with Metalstorm.

It’s gonna be awesome.

And honestly… it’s gonna be a banger.

DRESSLER: Not so cocky now, are you, mate?

Jesus, Mike Mike, put a lid on it.

RYDER: Wish you didn’t break that bond, bro.

Wish you didn’t break that bond.

All right, stuntman, time for a drink, mate. Eh?


There we go. Eh?


(Dressler laughs)


Shut up. Shut up.


Shut up, mate.

(Dressler laughs)


This fire gag’s real.


♪ ♪

(motor revs)

Come on, guys, start the boat.

He’s gone the wrong way.

♪ ♪


(rapid gunfire)

(gunfire continues)

(gunfire continues)

♪ ♪

(tie snaps)


Oh, Colt.



What’s going on?

What’d you sing?


At karaoke.

I’m sorry I didn’t make it.

It doesn’t matter.

Listen. Everyone’s saying you killed Henry.

What’s happening?

Oh, that’s not true.

You’re gonna hear a lot of things that aren’t true.

I just wanted to say that when I first got here,

when you asked how I was doing and I gave you the thumbsup,

when you were like, “That’s stunt guy bullshit,”

and you’re right, it’s total cliché,

but, you know, there’s a reason you don’t see

the thumbsdown stunt guy.

You know, it’s kind of part of our training.

Right? You know, you get hit by a car,

you get thrown out of a window,

you get set on fire, you give the thumbsup.

But, uh, after my accident

turns out was not an accident, by the way

I, uh…

I wasn’t okay.

And not because I broke my back,

because I just felt like a huge…


And I realized that, uh…

you know, I’m not invincible.

Huge shocker.

And I thought maybe I wasn’t so special

or something, so I, uh…

just figured that the thumbsdown version of me

wasn’t what you got into it for, so I disappeared.

But, you know, I didn’t just disappear on you.

Uh… just disappeared on,

(sniffles) on, uh, myself… too.

Anyway, I’m sorry.

You deserved more than that. I’m sorry.

I just wanted you to be honest.

You know, honestly, it, uh, all hurts.

Getting hit by a car hurts.

Getting thrown out of a window hurts.

(sniffles) Getting set on fire really hurts.

But, uh…


…none of it ever hurt as much as not being with you.

Where are you?

Is that from a movie or did I just make that up?

It’s pretty good. (laughs)

DRESSLER: There he is!

You can use it if you want.

No, please…

For what it’s worth, I’m still in love with you.

And I don’t think you should give up on that happy ending.


COLT: I got to go.


♪ Tonight ♪

Wait, Colt.

♪ I want to see it in your eyes ♪

♪ Feel the tension ♪

♪ There’s something that drives me wild ♪

♪ And tonight ♪

♪ I want to make it all come true ♪

♪ ‘Cause, girl, you were made for me ♪

♪ Girl, I was made for you ♪

♪ I was made for loving you, baby ♪

♪ You were made for loving me ♪

♪ I can’t get enough of you, baby ♪

♪ You can’t get enough of me ♪

♪ I was made for loving you ♪

♪ And you were made for loving me ♪

♪ I can give it all to you, baby ♪

♪ Can you give it all to me? ♪

♪ ♪

(phone vibrating)

That’s a wrap on Colt Seavers.

(phone vibrates)


GAIL: Jody.


Colt’s dead.

♪ ♪

(singer vocalizing)

Police are investigating an explosion on Sydney Harbour

just outside the Opera House,

where it appears a boat has collided with…

♪ ♪

♪ I was made for loving you, baby ♪

♪ You were made for loving me ♪

♪ I can’t get enough… ♪

…an alleged suicide of Colt Seavers,

the man responsible for the recent murder of Henry Herrera.

♪ I was made for loving you ♪

♪ And you were made for loving me ♪

♪ I can give it all to you, baby ♪

♪ Can you give it all to me? ♪

Hey. Hey.

Whoa. Huh?

Looking for Stunt Coordinator Dan Tucker.

You seen him?



Hey! You two.

Helmets off. Looking for Stunt Coordinator Dan Tucker.

NEWSMAN (over TV): Following a dramatic boat explosion

on Sydney Harbour, police are currently investigating

the suicide of American stuntman Colt Seavers.

(button clicks)

Following a dramatic boat explosion on Sydney Harbour,

police are currently investigating

the suicide of American stunt

(button clicks)

Following a dramatic boat explosion

on Sydney Harbour, police are

Following a dramatic boat explosion on Sydney Harbour,

police are currently investigating

the suicide of American stuntman Colt Seavers.


(robotic voice): Jody, you need to be quiet. Don’t say a word.


(robotic scream)

(robotic screaming)

Wait, wait. No.

(robotic groaning)


(robotic groaning)

You think you can come to my set and sneak up on me?

(robotic groan)


It’s me. It’s me.


Jesus Christ.

I knew it.

I knew it.


(Jody panting)

I knew you were alive.

(normal voice): Three shows a day,

six days a week for three years.

The Miami Vice stunt show.

You remembered.

Yes. I’m happy you’re alive, Colt.

Colt, I’m so happy you’re alive.

I knew it.

Oh, my God.

What were you doing…

Nice work with the pen.

So sorry.

No, it was great. You got it out just in time.

I think the ink poisoning didn’t set in.

(kisses) Chef’s kiss.

What’s going on?


Everyone’s saying that you killed Henry.

Ryder killed Henry. He framed me.

There’s footage of you.

Well, he deepfaked me.


They do it all the time on the Internet.

They take Tom Cruise’s face, and they put it on yours.

And you can’t tell the difference.

No. Okay, so where’s the real footage

of Ryder killing Henry? How do we get it?

It was on Ryder’s phone, and then it got destroyed because

Dan’s Last of the Mohicans plan didn’t work out.


It’s not his fault, you know? He called tomahawk first, okay.

I got “blanks only.”

And it was going pretty well, actually,

and then Dressler showed up.

So he, you know, he does this, like, Jason Bourne shit.

Okay, I have so many questions. (pants)


Who else knows you’re alive?

No one.


No, that’s the point. I mean, I figure

we can’t finish the movie unless they think I’m dead.

What movie?


What about Metalstorm?

If they think I’m dead, they’ll come back and finish.



Finish what?

The movie.



Are you insane? You are insane.


You need to be burning your fingerprints off,

and you need to be getting across the border

as fast as possible.

We’re gonna hide you until we can clear your name.

None of it matters anymore. It’s just a stupid movie.


It’s a stupid movie.

Don’t say that.

That’s Metalstorm you’re talking about.

That’s the movie you spent your whole life trying to make.

Who knows?

You might inspire a whole generation of little Jodys

to pick up cameras and make their own movies.

You’re just you’re special.

And all of us get to be a part of something special

because it comes from you.

I obviously failed at getting us our happy ending,

but I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let

Space Cowboy and Aliena not have theirs.

♪ ♪

(Jody moans)

(knocking on door)

Jody, my love!

One sec!

(highpitched): I’m coming…

(shushes) Stop it.

(muffled grunt)

(quietly): Gail. She’s in on it.



Okay, come on.

Let’s just kiss a little bit first.

No, come on, we g got to get you in the bathroom, please.

Come on.

Come on.



Got to work.

You all right in there, my darling?

Here, this Take this soap and rub it on my belly.

JODY: Get in the bedroom.

Okay. Colt. Are you good? Okay.

Okay. Yeah.

Be quiet. Don’t make a sound.

GAIL: Jod?

My head. The head.




GAIL: Hey. Hello, you.

Hey. Hey.

Aw, come here.

Thank you.

GAIL: Aw, how’s my favorite director?

JODY: Uh, a bit emotional, you know.

Oh, no Jesus.

Like Johnny and Amber have just been here.

(laughs) I just need to vent, ’cause it’s been…

it’s just been so much.

I know. I know.

I’m so sorry about Colt.

Thank you.

You know, it’s such a shame, but what a mess.


Who knew?


I mean, I tried to help him.

I hope you know that, but sometimes you can’t help people

who don’t want to be saved.


But silver lining

to this very dark (kisses) cloud.

I’ve got Ryder to come back.

And I have a plan.


But we’re not gonna be able to do

your big third act set piece, the car jump.

It is an impossible jump, especially now with Colt gone.


He’s gone.

He’s so dead.

Stay with me.

I spoke to Venti.

She says that she can do it in VFX.

The car jump.

All we need to focus on is Ryder’s new,

final, bombastic monologue.

I’ve read the pages.

God, you smashed it. I knew you would.

We’re gonna get him covered.


You, meanwhile…

please go and rest up in Fiji, on me.

You know? Plop yourself on a beach.

And I’m gonna take care of all of it for you.


You’ve got so much to process.


I can take care of all of it.

No. This is my movie.

Now, listen to me.


I’ve learned so much from you.

I know. Thank you.

And I’m very grateful.

But the lesson I stand by now,

that you’ve taught me…

Yeah. Yeah.

You fall down, you get right back up.

(inhales deeply)

(sputtering chuckle)

I am directing this movie, yeah.

GAIL: Oh, my God, that’s my girl.

It went in. I’m so proud of you.

Good. Okay.

Thank you. All right, let’s get you out of here.

One last thing.


Have you seen Dan?

Nope. I think he’s by the taco truck.

You haven’t heard from him?

He’s probablyprobably

over there somewhere. Thank you so much.

I’m proud of you.

Thank you.

Thanks for the pep talk. Okay, buhbye.


Love you, darling.

Love you, too. Bye!


(robotic voice): You’re gonna finish the movie.

No, I’m gonna clear your name. Okay, now listen.

(normal voice): Why can’t we do both?

I think we can.

We’re gonna bring him to set,

in a controlled environment, and then we surround him…

And we beat the shit out of him.


We’re gonna force a confession out of him

by putting him in a scene.


You know, he always forgets he’s mic’d.

That’s better.

JODY: I just don’t know how to do it yet.

(exhales sharply)

I know how to do that.

Make him do his own stunt.

The impossible jump.

Then we beat the shit out of him.

One seventyfour, alpha, take two.

JODY (over bullhorn): And action!

OOne second, one second, one second.



(dramatic music playing)

(Southern accent): It’s high noon

at the edge of the universe, folks.

(dramatic music swells)

Now, we’re facing a powerful enemy.

An alien species born of the worst of humanity’s traits.

Well, what our enemy doesn’t see

is that their demise is imminent.

And the most powerful weapon in all galaxy?


Inside each and every one of you is a spark, baby.

An ember.

A goddamn fire!

(crowd cheering)

Love is how we will win.

And even if we lose,

we’re gonna die fighting for a happy ending!

(crowd cheering)

Hell yeah!


Well, let’s go and get it, then!

Get on out there and go!

Who’s with me?! Who is with me?! Let’s go!

Cut! Yes!

So good, so good.

Thank you.

(normal accent): Was that it?

God, yeah.

Did we get it?

It was so good.

We got it?

Magic. Yeah, yeah.

IGGY: Yeah, it was hot, babe.

JODY: Oh, my God. Gail was in floods.

I really felt that one. I really felt that one.

She was Of course you did.

‘Cause I had tears.

Of course you did. Yeah, I know. I can see them.

(Gail exclaims)


Yeah, it was fantastic.

So, listen, all we have left is the alien truck coverage.

All right? That’s it.


Yep. We’re gonna do the car jump.


No one told me about another setup.

We said No.

There’s another setup?

Venti’s gonna do that in VFX,

so we’re out of here.

I know, but we need his closeup.

All right? I need his closeup right here for the coverage.

All right? 15 minutes tops. That’s all I need.

This is the bit, do you remember,

where Space Cowboy steals the alien vehicle?


Come on. This is his moment.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

I’m not gonna do any driving, right?

Because I’m gonna feel really nauseous.

It’s a blue screen setup.

I need this. I need this, okay?

Zero notice here.

We’re moving as fast as we can, all right?

Everyone, double the pace, yes?!

Use those muscles! Yes, good! Thank you!

♪ ♪

Everyone in position!

RUSH: Light the pyro!

We need enough charges to blow this canyon skyhigh, people.

NIGEL (over radio): McCabe, where are we?

Going as fast as I can, Nige.

We’re as ready as we can be.

Okay. Hey, get Ray to come in

and check the mic before we go, okay?


Sound, can you come down here and check Ryder’s mic, please?

All right, Tom. You ready?


Okay. Remember this bit?

You’re gonna be in the alien vehicle.


Okay? Okay.


And with nowhere to go,

you’re gonna jump the car over the ravine.

So I just need a quick pop on you…

(Southern accent): Space Cowboy ain’t scared of no ravine.

Of course he’s not.

So I’m thinking maybe just

a couple of reaction shots of me gritting my teeth.


Like, “Goddamn.” Something like that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stoic.

Yeah, yeah. I like it.

All right?

What do you think?

I like it. Okay.

I think it’s gonna be great. Yeah, I love the choice.

All right, let’s pop these on.

Okay. What’s this?

There you go.

No, this is because you’ve escaped the aliens.

Is this necessary? It’s a bit much, no?

Yeah. It looks cool. Raise the stakes.

It’s kind of cool.

Yeah. It’s cool. Okay.

Raise the stakes.

Let’s do it.

‘Cause you know, Space Cowboy.

Nobody can get at the Space Cowboy.

No way. Even when he’s cuffed.

Excuse me. Tom, sorry.

Jesus, Ray. I told you to do it before I got on set.

Appreciate you, Tom.

(device beeps)

Thank you. Sound good.


Okay, great.



You got this guy coming on your left.


Hey, bro.

All right, take him out.

Someone else is gonna crash down on the bonnet.

You’re gonna take him out.

No, no, no. See, what I’m thinking is maybe I come down,

I take him out first, and I’m like “pow, pow, pow.”

I slide over and go “pow.”

Yeah. Yeah.

And then maybe I say a little line like,

“I was shooting aliens way before I was paid to.”

Fantastic. All right, let’s lock it up.

Let’s shoot, Nigel.

NIGEL: Standing by, please.

(sighs): All right.

Take one. Marker.

In three, two, one, action.

(dramatic music playing)

RYDER: Not your lucky day, alien.

You got to go.

You can’t outrun me.

I’m Space Cowboy!


You are approaching the ravine.

There’s nowhere else to go.

Turn right. Go on.


You have no choice.

You’re gonna have to make the jump.

In three, two, one.


(normal accent): Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey.

Who is that in the car with him?

We’rewe’re in the middle of a take right now, asshole.

What are you doing? Ah!

He’s just buckling you in. Safety first. That’s it.


It’s really tight. Is this necessary?

Hey, we are filming right now.

Keep rolling, keep rolling.

Sell it, Tom. It looks amazing. Take a deep breath.

It does not look Get out of the car.


(engine starts)

No, no, wait. Stop. No.

Wait, what’s happening?


RYDER: Oh, my God! Whoa!

Get to the cars!

(laughing excitedly)

Jody, what the hell are you doing?!

I’m trying to get something real out of him, Gail.

There’s no cameras on him!

Hey, Dan? They’re approaching Ambush Alley right now.

We’re ready.

(Ryder screams)

RYDER: Let me out right now!

What are you gonna do, huh? You gonna kill me? Again?!

♪ ♪

Can you untie me?



Smoke screen in three, two, one!

RYDER: Whoa!

This does not seem safe, man!

Dan, where are they? Do you have eyes on them?

DAN (over radio): I see ’em. Everything’s going to plan.

I’ll block the road.

They shall not pass!

JODY: I see them. They’re entering Ambush Alley.

DRESSLER: I can’t see shit!

DAN: McCabe, one!

McCabe, two!


McCabe! Now!

I love my job.

RYDER: Whoa, mama!

Oh, goddamn!

I can’t think straight when you drive like this.


You’re supposed to be dead.

You blew up inin a thousand pieces.

You went kaboom.

Why would I have blown up, Tom Ryder?

Why are you saying my name like that?

COLT: That is your name, isn’t it, Tom Ryder?

Yes, yes.

A blind man could see that you’re

Tom Ryder.

You’re saying that like…

(mocking): “Ryder, Tom Ryder.”

Okay. That’s me.

You’re saying it like some obsessed fangirl.

That’s me, Colt Seavers, saying that.

Roll the cameras. We’re heading for the jump.

(over radio): Tom Ryder’s doing his own stunts!

Everyone, roll. Arm car?



PILOT: Check.

I’m done taking the falls for you.

You’re gonna do your own stunts from now on.

I don’t want to do my own stunts, Colt!


It’s just a 250foot jump that’ll probably kill us.

It’s never been done before. It’s for ComicCon.

It’s Hall H. It’s a big deal.

What are you doing, man?

COLT: I thought it’d be fitting.

Me and you, Tom Ryder, one last stunt.

You know, like Thelma and Louise.

Thelma and Louise?


They die at the end.



Can you just pull over and let me out right now?

COLT: You’re not getting out of this car until you,

Tom Ryder, tell me, Colt Seavers, the truth!

RYDER: All right, all right, all right, all right!

It was all Gail.

When I killed Henry, she wanted to cover it up

because, to be honest,

Space Cowboy’s one of my best roles yet, Colt,

and I don’t want this movie to fail.

So you’re saying that Gail Meyer

was responsible for framing me for your murder of Henry?

Yes! Yes!

But what’s your real name?

Tom Ryder.

Did you get that, Jody?

We got it! He confessed.

RYDER: You wearing a wire? Bro, you recording this?

This is entrapment. You can’t do that.

What are you doing?

No, it’s not entrapment,

because you’re wearing the wire, dipshit!

(engine revving)

(Ryder yells)

JODY: He’s going for it. Go. Go now.

RYDER: I’m just an actor!


He has a mouth guard.

I don’t have a mouth guard.

(Ryder screaming)

(screaming continues)


(Colt groans)

Oh, good.

JODY (over radio): Colt!

You’re alive.

Are you okay?


Are you okay?

COLT: I told you I’d make the camera up to you.

Oh, it was fantastic.

GAIL (over radio): Dressler, come in!


Oy, can you hear me? We’ve got to get out of here!

RYDER (recorded): This is all Gail’s fault, man.

This is all Gail’s idea.

GAIL: Give me that confession!

(stammers) No.

Give me all the media! Are you deaf?!

(over radio): Dressler, bring the helicopter to the trench.

What about Ryder?


Now, about this date.

GAIL: Put it in the case, you numpty!

Can we call it a date?

I mean, that’s what it is, right?

Such a moron!

Hurry up! God! (shouts)


Take it. (gasps)

Gail, Gail, Gail.



Give me the recording, Gail.

Darling, calm down. Just come with me.

We don’t need all this toxic masculinity,

because we’re the same, you and me.

You know, we’re survivors.

No, no, no, no. I’m nothing like you.

COLT: I don’t want to be presumptuous, I mean,

but let’s call a spade a spade. (chuckles)

GAIL: That’s why I gave you the job.


Well, that and because

you’re so easily moldable, you know?

Oh! (mutters)

Gail, just give me the case!

This is a Gail Meyer production!

Not yours!

Rendezvous with the boss in the canyon.

Extraction to the spaceship set.

DAN: Spaceship set?

Oh, no, Big Red.

I don’t think you’re gonna make that one.

Stunts set!

STUNTPEOPLE: Stunts set!



♪ ♪


GAIL: Trust me, I will not be taking the fall for this,

because I deliver hits for all you little people.

You’re welcome.





RYDER: Hey, hey! That’s for me! That’s for me!


That’s my helicopter!

This crazy stuntman’s lost his mind!

(both straining)


MAN: I’m on vacation!


(engine starts)


(highpitched scream)

(Rondell whimpering)

Get this dog off me! Not again, dog.

Just stay there!


Nightnight, dog! You’re dead.

This design is growing on me.

Get in! Let’s get out of here!

Yeah, copy that. Taking off now.

Wait, whatwhat is this?

It’s the evidence!

Why didn’t you just stop talking?!


JODY: Blow the pyros. Blow the pyros!

They’re getting away!

Whoa! Sh Whoa!

Holy shit!

Lower the arm! I’m gonna jump.


Okay, lower the arm. Lower the arm.

COLT: I have a plan!

JODY: What is it? What’swhat’s the plan?

Get me to the helicopter.

I’m gonna jump onto the skids,

and then I’m gonna beat the shit out of him.

No, justjust get the recording.

(fierce grunting)



Ah, shit.


Whoa! Whoa! Get me down!

Whoa! Get me down!

PILOT: We’re losing hydraulics here.

I can’t get it under control.

COLT: Just wondering, you know, after this movie,

and if I don’t go to prison and, you know, you’re not busy,

maybe we could go to a beach somewhere.

Wear a couple of swimming costumes.

Just drink a spicy margarita or something.

Yeah, yeah. Make some bad decisions.


Okay, sure. Yes.

Sound like a plan?

It’s a better plan than this.

Okay, please be careful.

Okay, swing him around. Go!

♪ ♪

GAIL: God, get it under control!

Get us out of here! What are you doing?!

(Gail shouts)

Ryder, the confession!


No! No, Gail, no!

(Gail yells)

No, Gail!

(Ryder groaning)

Whoa! Whoa!

DAN: Stunts!

Mobilize that airbag now!


(Gail yells)

GAIL: Get out of the way, Ryder!

STUNTWOMAN: 87North to the rescue!

Go, go, go, go!


Move, move, move!

GAIL: Get it!

Just keep it steady!

(alarm beeping)

(pilot straining)

You moron!

(Gail screams)

GAIL: Yes! Nice!

DAN: Go, go, go!

Yes! (sighs)


Oh, God!

Oh, shit!

(Gail yells)


Grab it!


(muffled): Oh, my God! My nose!

(Ryder shouts)

No! Ryder, the gun!

Shoot him! He’s a stupid stuntman!

No one gives a shit!

He’s one of the best stunt doubles I’ve ever had!

Oh, shut up! Give me the confession!

Come on, come on, come on! Quick!

GAIL: Give it back to me or I will blow your head off!

It’s empty, Gail.

(gun clicking empty)

(“I Was Made for Lovin’ You” by KISS playing)

♪ Mmm, yeah ♪

♪ Ha ♪


♪ Tonight ♪

♪ I wanna see it in your eyes ♪

♪ Feel the magic ♪

♪ There’s something that drives me wild ♪

♪ And tonight ♪

♪ We’re gonna make it all come true ♪

♪ ‘Cause, girl, you were made for me ♪

♪ And, girl, I was made for you ♪

♪ I was made for lovin’ you, baby ♪

♪ You were made for lovin’ me ♪

♪ And I can’t get enough of you, baby ♪

♪ Can you get enough of me? ♪

(echoing): ♪ Tonight. ♪

(song ends)

(dramatic music playing)

NARRATOR: From visionary director Jody Moreno

and Universal Pictures

comes a cosmic love story…

…of epic proportion.

Starring MTV Best Kiss award nominee

Jason Momoa.

(Southern accent): It’s high noon

at the edge of the universe.

I know these creatures.

I fought them.

I’ve loved them.

I’m not gonna lie to you.

We are facing a powerful enemy.

But what our enemy does not know

is that inside each and every one of you

is a goddamn fire!



♪ I was made for lovin’ you, baby ♪

Hiyah! Yeah!


♪ You were made for lovin’ me… ♪

Yeah! (grunts)



Oh, shit.

(shouts excitedly)

Justice is on the horizon.

NARRATOR: Metalstorm.


COLT: Metalstorm was a huge hit.

Aliena and Space Cowboy finally got the happy ending.

As for Jody and I, we got something even better.

We got a new beginning.

Filled with spicy margaritas and bad decisions.

And look, I don’t want to overromanticize it

or anything, but I think what Jody and I got,

it’s even better than what you find in the movies.

♪ I was made for lovin’ you, baby… ♪

(typewriter keys clacking)

(song fades)

(“Unknown Stuntman” by Blake Shelton playing)

♪ Well, I’m not the kind to run and hide ♪

♪ When I come close to danger ♪

Not again, dog!

♪ I ain’t never been ♪

♪ Afraid to take the fall ♪


♪ Yeah, I’ll fall ♪

♪ I’ll walk the wire through rain and fire ♪

♪ Go fast and I’ll go slow ♪

♪ Somehow I get stronger through it all ♪

(horn blares)


♪ It’s a deathdefying life I lead ♪

♪ But I take my chances ♪



♪ I die for a living in the movies and TV ♪

Yeah, it looks perfect.

♪ But the hardest thing ♪

♪ I’ll ever do is watch my leading ladies ♪

♪ Kiss some other guy ♪


♪ While I’m bandaging my knee ♪

♪ Well, I might fall from a tall building ♪

♪ I might roll a brandnew car ♪

♪ ‘Cause I’m the unknown stuntman ♪

♪ Who’d die to have your heart… ♪


(vehicle sputtering)

MAN: Logan’s good. Logan’s good.

That’s the fall guy, right?




♪ I drug my heart through a burning… ♪

Can you give us a playback?


♪ Oh, I’ve been hurt and I’ve been broken down ♪

♪ But somehow I’m still yearning ♪

♪ ‘Cause through it all, she’s still on my mind ♪

♪ Well, I might fall from a tall building ♪

♪ I might roll a brandnew car ♪

♪ ‘Cause I’m… ♪

And three, two, one. Action, action, action!

♪ Who’d die to have your heart, whoo! ♪

(yells fiercely)


Pulling out in three, two, one.

♪ I might roll a brandnew car ♪

♪ ‘Cause I’m the unknown stuntman ♪

♪ Who’d die to have your heart ♪

♪ Yeah, I might fall from a tall building ♪

♪ I might roll a brandnew car ♪

♪ ‘Cause I’m the unknown stuntman ♪

♪ Who’d die to have your heart. ♪

(song ends)

Shit! Holy shit!

Holy shit!

It’s a world record.

Mike, are you all right?

I’m upside down, but I’m good.


(“Unsung Heroes” by Dominic Lewis playing)

♪ I don’t know if you heard, but ♪

♪ My stunt brothers and sisters don’t get no gold ♪

♪ So here’s to the unsung heroes ♪

♪ Hey! ♪


(horn blares)

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Oh, I’m diggin’ it ♪


♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ It’s so crazy, right? ♪


Let’s go big with our one take, okay?

♪ Not even one nomination ♪


Just a harness, yeah.

♪ We don’t need your ♪

♪ Oscar nom, baby ♪

MAN: And cut.

♪ We got real scars ♪

♪ From this labor of love ♪

(grunts) Look out!

♪ Somebody had to say it ♪

♪ It’s been building up inside ♪

♪ I just couldn’t hold it in ♪

♪ I had to let it fly ♪

♪ Action and stunts have been ♪

♪ Woven into the DNA of film ♪


♪ Since the beginning of cinema, Keaton, Lloyd ♪

Let’s shoot it.

♪ Chaplin ♪

♪ Film’s first great directors were all stunt performers ♪

BenHur, Rocky, Braveheart, Titanic

♪ Some of the biggest winners in Academy’s history ♪


♪ Are completely dependent on stunts ♪

(laughter, excited chatter)

So it’s about love today.

♪ Did you know? ♪

♪ We don’t need your ♪

♪ Did you know? ♪

♪ Oscar nom, baby ♪

♪ Did you know? ♪

♪ We don’t need your ♪

♪ Did you know? ♪

♪ Little statues of love ♪

♪ Did you know? ♪

♪ We got real scars ♪

♪ Did you know? ♪

♪ From our labor of love. ♪

(song ends)

(sirens wailing)


(Gail grunts)

(grunts) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Wait a Would you just calm down?


You know who I am, right?

I mean, I can make you a massive star,

you handsome beast!

And you, you have the right to remain silent.

So shut the hell up.

Will somebody cuff this bitch?

Let’s go.

These guys are from the prop department.

These ain’t, these ain’t cops, man.

Back up, man!

I’m calling my agent. I’m getting my agent involved!

Letlet him go. Let him go.

GAIL: Tom!

RYDER: No signal. Got to get… some…

(laughs) Three bars!


Get me Jason Momoa’s agent on the phone.

♪ Waiting for love ♪

♪ To catch me again ♪

♪ Waiting for love ♪

♪ To lock me up and throw away the key ♪

♪ Waiting for love ♪

♪ To catch me again ♪

♪ Waiting for love ♪

♪ To play the strings that made our hearts beat one ♪

♪ We can’t fall out of time ♪

♪ Try to find an answer ♪

♪ Looking for a sign ♪

♪ There’s just no reason ♪

♪ And there’s really no rhyme ♪

♪ And we wouldn’t be moved ♪

♪ And neither could see ♪

♪ That I needed you ♪

♪ And you needed me ♪

♪ If I could go back ♪

♪ I’d do it differently ♪

♪ Now I’m falling all the time ♪

♪ And I need you in my life ♪

♪ Waiting for love ♪

♪ To catch me again ♪

♪ Waiting for love ♪

♪ To play the strings that made our hearts beat one ♪

♪ We can’t fall out of time. ♪

(song ends)


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