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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023) | Transcript

The film follows the Turtle brothers as they work to earn the love of New York City while facing down an army of mutants.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023)

The Turtles go on a hunt for a mysterious crime syndicate, but trouble arises when an army of mutants is unleashed upon them. The story, an allegory for teenage identity, explores themes of acceptance and desires to fit in.

* * *

Listen up.

[soldiers] Sir.

We’re going after Dr. Baxter Stockman.

He was TCRI’s lead genetic scientist, but he went rogue, stole billions of dollars’ worth of research and created an actual mutant.

He’s holed up in a makeshift lab of an abandoned building.

Each of you has been issued a high-powered antimutant neutralizer.

Whatever Stockman’s made, this can unmake it.

Cynthia Utrom herself will be quarterbacking from HQ.

Anything to add, Cynthia?

This mission is of the utmost importance.

Failure will be frowned upon.

Bring me Stockman’s mutant and whatever he used to make it.

You heard her, boys. Lock and load.

[soldiers] Yes, sir!

[weapons whirring]

[electricity crackling]

[bottles clank]

[bottles clank]

I’ve done it, little one. I’ve perfected the ooze.

Are you excited for Daddy? [chittering]

My friends at TCRI…

[distorted voice] …want to use you as a weapon.

I couldn’t allow that.

[normal voice] But we’re safe now.

Soon I’ll make you brothers and sisters.

A real family for both of us.

I never had a family, little one.

Nobody liked me.

I always felt a greater connection to the animals I experimented on than people.

With you and your siblings… [chittering]

…I’m creating a family.

I think we can finally be happy.

[crashing]

[grunts]

[glass rattles]

[grunts] [soldier 1] Move, move!

[leader] Go, go! [soldier 2] Spread out!

[panting]

[soldier 1] Move, move, move!

Freeze! Don’t move! [soldier 2] Get visuals.

Where is the specimen?

[stammering] [chittering]

[soldier 1] It’s not here. [soldiers gasp]

[clatters]

Wait, wait, be careful. Stay quiet.

[chittering] Huh? Over there!

[shouts]

[screams]

[shouts, grunts]

[gunfire]

[soldiers scream]

Cease-fire! We need them alive!

[soldiers scream]

Don’t move.

[chittering]

[grunting]

[gunfire]

No! No, don’t shoot!

The chemicals are highly volatile! No!

[explosion]

Let’s go in. Uh-huh.

[groans]

[groans, coughs]

[leader] Cynthia, I’m sorry.

We lost everything.

[groans]

Bring me anything you can find.

We will replicate his research, no matter how long it takes.

Baxter Stockman’s creations must live on!

And with it, a new form of life itself.

[industrial music playing]

[music ends]

[sword slices]

[electronic music playing]

Master Splinter has given us a very important mission for tonight.

The target is across the street.

We must use stealth and cunning to infiltrate the human world and retrieve…

[music ends]

…Go-GURT.

[raspy voice] Go-GURT… Okay, Batman.

I’m just trying to hype you guys up. Give me that list.

What else are we getting? Four quarts of nonfat milk… Nice.

…ice cream, fruits and veggies… [retches]

…and a party-size bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. I like cheese puffs.

[Donatello] He was very specific about the party size. He underlined it twice.

Donnie, you’re on toiletries. Got it.

Raph, you’re stocking up the pantry. [sighs]

Mikey, you’re on junk food. Yessirski.

And remember– don’t let any human see you. Because why?

[all] “Humans are the demon scum of the earth. Avoid them, don’t say hi. They lust to murder that which is different from them. To interact with them is to die.”

And hey, I know that’s objectively prejudiced, but that’s what Dad taught us.

Uh, I think humans seem kind of cool, to be honest. Beyoncé…

We wouldn’t have K-pop without humans. Drake. The GOAT of all time.

I would love to have brunch with Tom Brady.

Guy Fieri seems like a fun hang. And I’ve always wanted to go to Flavortown.

Look, we all think humans are cool, but we got a job to do.

[deep voice] Let’s go!

“Let’s go, I’m Leo.” “I’m the leader.”

You sound like you have bronchitis.

[“Ante Up” playing]

Terror strikes the heart of Manhattan yet again today with another brazen and deadly heist.

An industrial-grade power converter was stolen mid-transport.

Police fear it’s connected with a recent string of other deadly thefts.

New Yorkers live in fear.

Parents citywide are calling for a curfew until the criminal is caught.

But the only lead is a mysterious mastermind known on the streets as Superfly.

[Leonardo] Not bad.

Heading home on a good note.

Get these groceries back– Whoa, what?

We’ve been out for an hour. Come on, let’s stay out.

Come on. We said we weren’t gonna do this anymore.

Last week was Madison Square Garden to watch the Knicks.

The week before that was the Adele concert.

She hit them notes like crazy! It was transcending!

Splinter’s gonna catch on. We’re gonna get grounded.

He’s a shut-in. He doesn’t know how long it takes to do things.

For all he knows, it takes us three hours to get to the bodega.

We told him we wouldn’t mess around anymore.

There’s an outdoor movie night in Brooklyn.

Yeah. I hope it’s a funny one. I hope it’s violent.

[Donatello] You need to chill out, Raph.

[Raphael] Stop moping, Leo. Let’s go!

[sighs] Fine. Wait up!

[“Danke Schoen” playing over speakers]

[Leonardo] Oh, snap. [Raphael] That vest is a choice.

[Michelangelo] I wish I had hair like that.

[Donatello] I wish I had hair, period.

We did go bald at a young age. Is this high school, like, in real life?

Yeah, you go to high school, you can just hijack a parade whenever you want.

Yeah. Can you imagine that? Yeah, I’m totally not jealous at all.

[crowd laughing, chattering]

Do it! Do it! [laughs]

Eh. Maybe one day everyone will love us like everyone loves Ferris Bueller.

Yeah. Yeah, you know, maybe one day.

[grunts] Let’s get home, guys.

[crowd laughing]

Guys, let’s go.

[chattering, laughing]

[teenager] I love being young and free to go places!

[Leonardo] Everybody be quiet.

[Michelangelo] You be quiet.

[Leonardo] I’m literally whispering. I cannot be more quiet.

I’ll make white noises.

[Donatello] Mikey, stop.

Shh. Dude, that makes it louder.

[all yelp]

Boys, where have you been?

I’ve been freaking out! We’re sorry, Dad. Listen…

[overlapping chatter] It was this one thing–

It was this cat, and you know I’m scared of cats, so…

[Raphael] Yeah, the cat.

[Splinter] Wait a second.

You said you would go shopping, then come right back.

Where were you?

[Donatello] Uh…

The cat was– We’re sorry, Splinter.

The guys wanted to see a movie. I tried to talk ’em out of it.

[all] Leo!

What? You watch a movie with the humans? Ugh!

You ratted us out.

[Splinter] Hey.

Don’t use that word that way.

I mean, it’s 2023. Sorry, Dad.

It wasn’t that big a deal!

We just watched a movie and came back! We’re fine!

Hmm.

You forgot, huh?

You don’t remember why human are disgusting monsters?

Why they’re dangerous?

Why they’re gonna milk us for our blood?

[overlapping chatter] We don’t even have nipples!

I’m gonna tell the story again. I get a year older every time.

[Splinter] Just for that, I tell you the long version.

[Donatello] No, no, no!

[Splinter chuckles]

[Splinter] It all started 15 years ago.

I was young rat in my 20s.

Look at me! I was so cute. I was on top of the world.

[shrieks] No, I was the bottom of the world. It was terrible!

Nobody liked me. I had no friends.

Raccoons didn’t like me. Dogs don’t like me.

You know who hate me the most? Humans!

[people screaming]

I had one friend. He was a cockroach.

We got along very well. His name was Kevin.

[squelches]

And then I ate him.

[thunder rumbles]

[squeaks]

One day, everything changed.

[hatchlings cooing, chittering]

[babbles]

[growls] [coos]

[cooing]

You was the first things I met that didn’t want to kill me or eat me. [coos]

I couldn’t just leave you there.

You was covered in this wooze that someone dump in the sewers.

Whatever this wooze was, it transformed us.

[grunting]

[screaming]

[screaming fades]

Because I was older, I became older rat man.

[turtles giggle]

[grunting]

You guys was babies, so you stayed baby turtle creatures.

If you think about that, it couldn’t make more sense.

[crashes]

It was weird, but we became a family.

[“Eye Know” playing]

[laughing]

[stomach growls]

Whoa! Oh!

[Raphael and Splinter chuckle]

[turtles laughing]

[all snoring]

[turtles giggle]

[babbles]

[Splinter] You were obsessed with the human world.

So I decide to give a shot.

[engines revving]

[horn honks]

[turtles] Wow!

Wow!

Oh, I am so sorry. Excuse me.

[turtles babble] Uh…

[Splinter] It didn’t go well.

Oh, my God, it’s a rat man!

[people gasp] Rat man?

Everybody, look! It’s a rat man!

It’s not a rat man, it’s just a bad Mickey Mouse costume.

It’s real! I touched it!

[gasps] [growls]

You rat!

[bystander] Kill the rat man!

[Splinter groans] Boys!

Mikey!

[horn blares]

[brakes screech, hiss]

[groans]

[turtles babble]

Look, there he is! That’s not a cat. It’s a rat!

[Splinter] That day I promised to never let you get hurt, ever again.

I needed to find a way to unlock ancient secrets of ninjutsu.

How to turn a body into a weapon of death.

And I found it.

[“Push It to the Limit” playing]

[turtles karate yell]

[all gasp]

[shouts]

[all karate yell]

[shouts]

[all grunt]

[David Seeger, echoing] ♪ I’m a ninja ♪

We thought we needed the human world, but we only needed each other.

That’s why I’m so strict, you know?

You boys are all I got.

And you’re all I’ll ever have.

You don’t know that. I do!

You know other mutants my age? It’s a really small pool.

There’s no app to meet other mutant ladies.

Trust me. I check every day.

Yeah. That’s true.

Look, I really don’t want to do this.

[sighs]

No leave the sewer for one month.

Seriously?

[Splinter] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I made up my mind. That’s it. I’m done.

This sucks!

Hey, Raph, come on. Shut up, Leo.

Mikey.

Was it worth it, Mr. Leader?

Hey, guys?

If we weren’t monsters that were shunned by society and could actually do what we wanted, what would you guys do?

I mean, if I’m being honest, I’d just be normal. You know?

Yeah, like go to high school.

Maybe get a girlfriend, go to prom.

With your rizz, not likely. I just gotta get out of this sewer, man.

I like you guys and all, but I simply cannot live a happy life knowing that your faces are the last things I’m gonna see before I die.

Well, uh, guess what, guys? It’s never gonna happen, so, let’s stop talking about it, all right?

[sighs]

[vehicles passing] [horn honking]

All right, focus up.

The truck containing the radioactive storage unit is one minute out.

Copy that. [static crackles]

Let’s not mess this up, guys.

Superfly doesn’t take kindly to errors.

Any idea what he’s building with all this weird equipment?

Who cares? As long as the check clears, am I right?

Target’s approaching.

[brakes squealing]

[exclaims]

[tires screech]

Sixty seconds till police response.

[devices beep]

Thirty seconds. We got to move.

[tires squealing]

[coughing] Huh?

[laughs] Let’s not get carried away.

Hey, hey, hey, everybody, just keep your cool!

[siren wailing]

[tires screeching]

[driver] Cops!

[horns blaring]

Guys, there’s no way out of this.

What are we gonna do? Superfly’s gonna kill us!

In pursuit of suspects. Moving south on Broadway.

Whoa, whoa. What?

[all screaming]

Huh?

[thug] Oh, man, what is this place?

[gasps] [gasps]

[heavy, squishing footsteps]

Dear God, is that… That’s– He’s–

[stammering] You really are…

Superfly.

[thugs screaming]

[door opening, closing]

It happened again. One of our trucks got hit.

They stole a radioactive storage unit this time.

Flying ice cream?

Another robbery today in midtown Manhattan.

New Yorkers were stunned.

Put tracking devices on all shipments.

It’s time we met this Superfly.

Yeah, lob it up. Lob it up.

Stay still. Stay still.

[Raphael] Now, now, now!

[both exclaiming]

[Donatello] That is sick, dude! That is awesome!

Come on, guys, we just got ungrounded, all right? Let’s go home.

[Raphael] Leo, can I ask you a question? What, Raph?

Is it weird to have your head so far up Dad’s butt?

Does it smell weird up there?

I bet it smells like cheese and Doritos.

Ha-ha-ha, guys. Very funny!

Sorry, we can’t hear you.

Your voice is too muffled through the cheese.

[Raphael] Try that Batman voice again.

Yo, check this out in slo-mo.

That’s the coolest thing I’ve ever seen. Whoa! Yeah!

That’s cool. Hey, let’s try that again

but with ninja stars. [both gasp]

[Raphael] Okay, eye of the tiger, Raph. Focus up, come on.

You’re good. Guys, uh, do I have to be the one to hold this?

[Leonardo] Yes. Who else is gonna do it, Mikey?

Don’t worry about it, Mikey. You’re fine. Chill.

[quietly] He’s gonna die.

Why did we pick a fruit shaped exactly like my head?

Your head looks like Stewie had a baby with “Hey, Arnold.”

Stop talking! You’re ruining my concentration.

All right, Raph.

Three, two…

[grunts] [shouts]

[passerby exclaims] [tires screeching]

Did you hear that? What was that?

[“Love is an Illusion” playing]

Hey! You on the roof!

You just hit me in the head with a ninja star.

What’s her deal? She’s yelling at us a lot.

I think she’s mad that we hit her with the ninja star.

Maybe we should go down and talk to her. You know, check in on her?

“Can we go down there?” What’s your pickup line?

No, don’t sidebar. Huh? This is one of the most–

I think that guy’s helping her.

[Donatello] Uh, I think he’s stealing her scooter.

Hey, lady, behind you! We just need to skip the conversation.

No, your scooter! You owe me money!

Hey! What are you doing?

[Michelangelo] He’s getting away.

[horns honking]

[brakes squeal]

We tried to warn her. Nothing more we can do.

You guys want to grab pizza?

No. She got her scooter stolen, and it’s our fault.

We have to fix this. Yeah, that sucks, but do we have to fix this?

Technically, she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

It’s not really our fault. I gotta get the scooter back to this beautiful and charming human woman!

Alpha formation, go!

Whoa. I think all of his hormones just kicked in at once.

Follow him!

[cab driver] Hey! Who was that?

All right, guys. Guard the exits.

We’re gonna need the most foolproof plan.

Every single ninja technique. I need you to use stealth to block the doors and–

Did you say go loud? Whoo-hoo!

Raph! Raph! Oh, oh.

Whoo-hoo!

[Michelangelo] Raph! Raph!

Whoo.

That’s a lot of guys.

[machine whirring]

They look really mean.

What the heck are those things?

I think it’s those guys that work in Times Square.

You know, the mascots? Yeah, the GEICO geckos.

They look more like little Shreks to me.

This is fine. We’ve prepared our whole lives for this.

We’ve never been in a fight before.

I don’t know if you noticed, all I’ve got is a big stick.

How did I end up with a big stick?

Maybe we diffuse this sitch with laughter.

You’re not funny enough for that.

Enough talk! I dream about fighting every night.

You’ve got a rage problem, Raph. It’s not a problem!

Whoo!

[screams]

[Donatello] Rogue sai!

[shrieking] Oh, my God!

Oh, my– I’m gonna be sick.

It’s still in my leg! Mikey, watch out!

[groans] Okay, we’re not off to a great start, guys.

[criminal whistles]

[gasps]

[thugs growl]

Maybe they’ll see the humanity in our tragic backstory.

Murder the Shreks!

[Michelangelo] They don’t see it. They don’t see it.

[Raphael] Think fast, Leo! What are you doing? [grunts]

Huh? Whoo!

All right, Raph, you go left,

I go– [screams]

[screams]

What the heck? I said go left!

[chuckles] I got him! [groans]

Mikey, watch out!

[thug screams]

Too slow! Psych!

[vocalizes high note]

[“Ninja Rap” plays]

[shrieks, groans]

[horn blaring] Dang, that’s loud.

[exclaims] [grunts]

Back off! I’ve got a big stick! [screams]

[grunts]

Shrek, you want to die?

[thug groans] What the–

Sorry, sorry. You’ll pay for that!

[grunts]

Ow! Quit throwing stuff at me!

[groans, growls]

[Donatello] What do we do?

[engine revs]

[Leonardo] Save the beautiful human woman’s scooter!

[both scream] Uh-oh.

Eat that, no crumbs!

[engine revs]

[Donatello] Okay, chill out!

Mikey, watch out!

[screaming]

He’s Tokyo drifting around us.

I’m awesome.

[Donatello] Aw, nice! [Leonardo] Yeah, Raph!

[breathes heavily, groans]

Guys, look around!

[cheering]

We did it! We did that! I totally helped.

[Donatello] Hide, hide, hide.

[grunts]

Hello, I’m an unarmed noncombatant here for her scooter.

Whoa.

Y’all got your butts whupped.

This is really not how I thought this night was gonna go.

[clattering]

Wait. Where’d you guys go?

Hey.

Hey, I see you in there.

I think she can see us.

[Donatello] She can’t. She totally can!

[teenager] I won’t make a big deal about the ninja star.

You got my scooter back so I feel like that’s square. Um…

Donnie, you go out first. You’re the most inviting and friendly.

[turtles chattering] I get that you have to huddle,

but the longer you lurk in the shadows,

like, the more sus it gets every second.

She said we’re sus! That’s not good. [teenager] You know? Yeah.

And now it’s, like, doubly sus to be whispering about how sus…

[gasps]

Hey. Wassup?

Hey.

Oh, you’re crime-fighters with turtle costumes.

Yeah, I’m gonna be honest. I don’t think all the good animals are taken.

Sharks. Uh, there’s wolves up for grabs.

Wow, the costumes are really crazy.

These eyes are wet like real eyeballs.

How do you get this on and off?

That’s your skin! She touched– That’s my skin.

What are you? What could you be?

Can we explain this over some pizza?

How you guys feel about pepperoni?

She’s down for pizza? I didn’t think it would get this far.

So, there’s this rat… Long ago, in New York City… my brothers and I… …we were a bunch of turtles…

[turtles talking over each other]

This is– I don’t know where we came from. …our dad again–

Stop. Stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!

Okay, you were real baby turtles who made contact with mystery ooze, and therefore started to age from mutant baby turtles to mutant-turtle-men-guys?

Uh, turtle boys, actually.

I would say teens. I would say cool teens. Yeah, we’re cool.

Teenagers! Amazing. Insane. All right, well, tell me more.

Obviously, I want to know everything about you.

Like, is there more of you?

Nope, just us.

“They are alone in the world.”

And nobody’s ever asked you about this or talked to you about this?

I know, right? No, not really.

Sometimes we pretend to be on Wendy Williams, but that’s it.

Why you writing all this down?

Oh. I’m a journalist. Well, I want to be a journalist.

I write for my school paper.

Really?

I assumed you’d want to be on camera, ’cause you have a very camera-ready look.

Nope. No. [chuckles] Never on camera. Okay.

I’m down here researching this story on Superfly and his string of super crimes.

The police have been talking about implementing this curfew if they don’t find him soon.

It spooked the parents, and they canceled prom.

I’m trying to help bring him to justice so everyone can chill out or whatever.

But this! Turtle mutant karate teens.

I mean, this is a pretty good story.

Look, I don’t know if we should.

Why not? This is gold! This is so good!

We were taught that humans would try to destroy us if they ever found out we ever existed.

You know, kill us, or put us in a lab and milk us.

I wouldn’t milk you. You don’t even have nipples.

Look, human woman, I got a question.

So just be straight with me.

Do you think there are more people like you?

You know, people who will accept us?

[inspirational music playing]

[music stops] No. No, absolutely not.

Um, genuinely, no. There’s no way.

I knew it! It’s confirmed. We’re doomed.

Wait, wait, wait.

If I’m being honest… I mean, the reason I’m not scared of you is, you know, you guys helped me out.

And if you hadn’t, and I had just, like, stumbled across you, yeah, I’d be very scared.

I’d be really, um, freaked out and disgusted.

[cell phone buzzes] Sorry, my mom is texting.

[dings] Dad is texting us! He’s freaking out a bit.

Well, at least all parents are the same.

A hundred percent. Yeah, for sure.

Our dad is definitely not a giant rat.

That makes me feel like he’s a rat.

Well, I’ll AirDrop you my contact, and if you ever feel like you want to come out into the world or whatever, just let me know.

I would love to write a story about it, seriously.

Good night.

[door closes]

She seemed cool.

Here he goes again. Every girl, man.

That’s your type? Give me that contact.

Give me that contact! Please. Give me the phone!

[Donatello] It was sick!

I mean, you guys saw it. I was, like, wow!

I want more, guys.

I got the taste of life, and I don’t want to wash it out of my mouth.

I want it to linger on my tongue, swish around my throat and–

You’re really driving this metaphor into the ground.

But he’s right. I mean, it was too good to give up on.

You guys heard April and the words that came out of her incredibly formed and beautiful mouth.

The only reason she liked us was because we saved her. She saw us as heroes.

So, what if everyone saw us as heroes?

[Michelangelo] What do you mean?

I mean, look!

We use our ninja skills to take out Superfly.

We’ll drag him up to City Hall, dump him on the steps for the cops and say,

“We’re the heroes who stopped Superfly! Yeah, we look a little different, but we’re on your side.”

Everyone will be like, “Hey, those ‘toitles’ are all right. I’m a cabbie from the Bronx.”

Then everyone in the city will think we’re cool.

They’ll accept us.

[as fan] “Sign my baby!”

[Donatello] And then, once the overall fanfare has settled down, we’ll enroll in high school, where we’ll be normal– if not slightly more popular than average– students.

Okay, I’m following this.

It’s like Hulk in Avengers: Endgame.

Sure, he’s a giant, terrifying green monster, but everyone knows he saved them, so they’re taking selfies with him in a diner.

You know Mark Ruffalo mostly improvised that scene?

I know. He’s good on his feet. Nobody cares about that, okay?

This is a great plan.

If this works, I won’t have to hang with you losers for the rest of my life.

Yeah. Yeah! That’s very true.

Uh, what about Dad, though?

I mean, he doesn’t really need to know about it.

Right?

Look, if we’re gonna do this, we’ll have to get April’s help.

Sounds like she’s been doing tons of research on Superfly.

She probably has some good leads.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

So you’re in? Yeah, I’m in.

[all cheer]

[Donatello] Let’s go! We did it, Mikey!

[phone ringing]

Hello? Turtle– Fellas.

Uh, hey. Is that you guys for real?

[Leonardo] Hi… [chuckles]

…April. Yes, it’s… [voice cracks] …Leo!

You know, we were talking… Yeah?

…and we have a proposal. Okay.

You help us find Superfly, we bring him to justice, you document it all, and when we got him, you release the story, your prom is uncanceled, and we get accepted by the world as heroes.

Wow. Yes. Uh, yeah.

Okay. [clears throat] Sure. I mean… [chuckles] if I’m being honest, I totally stopped thinking about this.

I had a lot of things to do.

By the way, do you guys have ears?

Just say yes, just say yes. I think so?

They think they have ears.

Okay, perfect. Yes.

Um, how about we meet tonight, 8:00 p.m., Eastman High.

Everyone will be gone, and I’ve got all my research in the school darkroom.

Cool. Cool. So, uh, it’s a date.

Wait, what?

No, no, just hang up. Just hang up.

You know what? [imitating static]

It’s like bad service or something. I’ll see you tonight!

Who’s got no rizz now?

Sorry, Dad. Have to leave now.

Heading out! Love you so much. Love you. Goodbye. Kisses!

What are they up to?

[“Dance” playing]

[all cheering, laughing]

[Michelangelo] Whoo-hoo!

Hey!

[April] Hey.

You actually made it. That seemed very dangerous.

Oh, that? Ha! Not at all.

I mean, we eat danger for breakfast.

Actually, I eat pizza with bits of waffles on it.

It’s better than it sounds.

It actually sounds delicious, honestly.

Okay, well, uh, come on in.

Really? We can just go in there?

Yeah, of course.

Welcome to Eastman High.

[Raphael whistles]

[Donatello] Wow.

[song continues]

[electricity buzzing]

[flies buzzing]

It’s very strange.

I feel you guys actually want to go to high school.

Yeah, we do. We very much do.

Why? Don’t you love high school?

Oh, yeah, I mean, as a very popular and well-liked person,

I love high school, yeah.

But don’t worry about me.

Is this living up to your dreams?

No.

It’s even better! Attack on Titan?

Whoever’s locker this is likes anime.

I don’t even know this person, and they get me more than anyone ever has!

Guys, look! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Improv team tryouts!

I’ve got to sign up. This is amazing!

Mikey, what are you– We don’t even go here. Yet.

The tryouts aren’t for two weeks.

We could be enrolled by then.

They need a last name.

Wait, what’s our last name?

I’ve never thought about that, actually.

Do we not have last names? Who are we?

It’s okay. I’ll just break it up.

Michael Angelo.

[in Italian accent] Hey, I’m Michael Angelo.

Perfecto.

That makes you Leo Nardo!

Nardo! [turtles laughing]

Hey, Nardo. Nardo.

It could be Leon Ardo. That’s a cool name.

Guys, lay off Nardo.

[song ends]

He’s sensitive. [laughing]

She called him Nardo too. Nardo!

Nardo!

Hey, well, at least I’m not “Puke Girl.”

That is a bad nickname!

We don’t know if that says “Puke Girl.”

It could be “Poke Girl.” Maybe this girl just likes tuna.

Oh, my God. Are you Puke Girl?

She’s Puke Girl! That does not say “poke.”

All right! Stop. Listen. [groans]

I told you, ever since I was young, I wanted to be a journalist, and so, I thought I could read the morning announcements, and, you know, well, it didn’t go so well.

[school bell ringing]

I don’t know. Maybe the cameras and the attention got to me, and the anxiety made me feel like I was gonna explode, and so, well…

[gasps] You didn’t.

I did.

[“Unwritten” playing]

[retching]

[retching continues] Oh, God.

[song ends] I went viral.

I was remixed.

[retching]

Memed.

The sound even trended on TikTok.

[retching]

I thought if I use the paper to find Superfly and get prom uncanceled, I can remain firmly off camera, but also maybe be known for something cool instead of–

What? Being Puke Girl? Hmm?

You don’t want that anymore? No?

Great. Laugh. Whatever. [chuckles]

But maybe you’re not the only ones who want to be heroes so people like them, okay?

Can we go?

All right, here’s what I got.

[gasping]

Yes, yes, it’s incredibly impressive. Okay, listen.

Superfly seems to be building something.

I mean, we’re talking Gru/Megamind-type stuff.

He’s knocking off insanely highly technical shipments.

State of the art. Incredibly expensive.

And he pays off thugs to do his dirty work so he can stay completely under the radar.

Nobody’s ever seen his face. Why?

Because he kills everyone who does.

Whoa! Cool.

No, not cool.

So how are we gonna find him?

You know the ice cream truck heist last week, right?

They stole a radioactive storage unit.

And look. I found this at the chop shop where they took my scooter.

They must be doing business with Superfly.

That chop shop is run by these guys and their crew.

Short Sharon, Bald Bronson, Toupee Tom and Normal Nate.

They are the ones who can lead us to Superfly.

That’s a lot of leads.

And a lot of terrible nicknames.

Still better than Nardo. We agreed on Leon Ardo.

Let’s start chasing them down.

[“No Diggity” playing]

[thugs grunting]

[grunting]

[no audible dialogue]

[laughing]

[snoring]

[thugs grunt]

[song continues]

[grunting]

[screaming]

[screams]

Normal Nate deals with that!

I’m just a legitimate mattress salesman.

You want Short Sharon.

[in Cantonese]

[in English] Hey, I don’t talk, but if I did talk, I’d tell you it was Bad Bernie you were looking for.

But you didn’t hear it from me. Where’s Bad Bernie?

[song ends] Okay, I’ll talk.

Yeah, all right.

My guys stole this radioactive storage unit, but Superfly, he kills them.

Then he calls me and says I gotta get him another thing– an “assimilator.”

And if I don’t do it, he’s gonna kill me too.

So last night we got one.

[guards grunt]

The deal with Superfly is tonight, under the bridge.

We give him his unit, and he leaves us alone.

Good. You did good.

[grunts]

[Leonardo] Dude! He talked!

That was so exhilarating!

The adrenaline pumping in my veins is crazy!

Superfly is making a deal with Bad Bernie’s guys tonight, in an hour, under the Brooklyn Bridge.

We show up in Bernie’s van with the goods, and boom!

Superfly is caught in our web.

Did you get that, April? Did you film that?

Sorry, am I supposed to film all the stuff you do?

‘Cause a lot of it’s dumb. Yes.

I’ll do the talking.

[tough voice] Hey, I’m a gangster.

I got my puffer and my Tims.

I need my bacon, egg and cheese too.

You got the goods, Superfly?

Bacon, egg and cheese.

[all imitating gangsters]

Let me get that bacon, egg and cheese.

And let me get that Arizona Iced Tea.

With a bev? With a bev? Yerd!

We outside. We outside.

Outside. You heard. Yerd! Yerd! Yerd!

Bronx. Bronx. Yerd!

Yeah, I don’t think this is gonna help people like you.

Just being honest.

Let me get a bacon, egg and cheese. Bronx. Bronx.

[cell phone ringing]

[normal voice] Uh-oh, text from Dad.

[April] What do you think is wrong?

I bet that cat is back. He freaks out every time.

He probably just can’t get the Roku working.

Hopefully it’s quick and we can just meet up with Superfly.

All right, April, we live just up there, but our dad, he doesn’t really like humans.

Rude.

I mean, to be fair, I don’t love rats.

And that’s totally fair. Understandable.

But just wait here, okay? We’ll be back in a few.

And there’s a cockroach surfing on a turd.

Awesome. Good.

Love that I’m looking at that.

Surprise!

[screaming]

[sighs] Dad, you really can’t keep scaring us like that.

Welcome home!

Why are there balloons? Dad, what are you doing?

Look, I am not stupid. I know something’s up.

You do? I do. You’re done with the sewers.

You want to be in the human world.

I went through your stuff and I found your human clothes.

[Raphael] What the heck is that?

Those aren’t ours. How did that even get in our stuff?

Boys, it’s okay.

I think I maybe found a way to make you happy.

I brought the human world to you. Look!

Human friends. “Hello, I’m a human.”

Say hi to Chris.

“I’m Chris Pine. Look at my eyebrows. I’m the best Chris.” Amazing, right?

That is what we love.

And watch. I’m a waiter.

The full human restaurant experience.

Sit down. Let me take your order.

It could be anything. But it has to be pizza.

Uh, pizza, right. [turtles mumble]

Uh, look, Dad, we appreciate it,

but we still got more errands to run.

What’s going on? What are you doing up there?

Don’t lie. Tell me. Are you in trouble?

Is something wrong?

Is someone trying to milk you?

No, ew. It’s never milking!

Why do you always jump straight to milking?

Do you need help? Anything you need, I’m here.

No! No. No, no, no. Dad, look.

We’re just running errands– shopping, getting the stuff we need to live down here.

Really? That’s it?

Yeah, that is literally it. Mm-hmm. Nothing else.

All right, well, hey. Thanks for the surprise party.

Yup. Appreciate it, Dad. We will be leaving.

[Leonardo] Goodbye.

[sighs]

[brakes squeal]

Wow, you’re actually a good driver, Donnie.

Huh. Countless hours on Forza Horizon

finally paid off. [April] Hey, guys.

Oh, hello? April, you– Uh, you there? Yeah, I got you.

Now, just know, this footage is going to be the definitive imagery of your entire existences, so, um, like, don’t make it lame or anything.

We’re not the ones who puke on camera.

We’d have to try really hard to do that.

Hey, shut up, shut up. Look, here he comes.

Look at those cars! Bro, he’s got cool Tims.

[Raphael] He’s got some swagger. [Michelangelo] This guy is super fly.

I mean, look at those rims, bro!

[Leonardo] All right, there’s two cars and a motorcycle.

That’s like ten dudes, tops.

Oh, man. They’re gonna be so scared when they see they’re about to roll up on a bunch of mutants! [laughs]

[“Wake Up in the Sky” playing]

[turtles chattering]

[snorts]

Oh, my God. I’m gonna win a Daytime Emmy.

[Michelangelo] What do we do, Leo?

[stammers] You’re the leader. You should know.

[Raphael] Alpha formation? You don’t even know what Alpha formation is!

[song continues]

What is that?

[song ends]

Yo, come on, y’all. Let’s get the goods.

[screaming]

Yo!

What?

What the– Y’all some little tortoises, huh?

Damn! Look at you.

Y’all adorable, man.

Bad Bernie got some turtles on the payroll.

No. We don’t work for Bernie.

We’re here to find you.

I can’t believe there are other mutants!

Like us!

This is wild! I mean, this is crazy-like.

Let me guess.

Fifteen years ago, right, some sludge was dumped in a sewer, and y’all came from that.

We prefer the term “ooze,” but yeah.

It’s like more– It’s just nicer sounding.

It rolls off the tongue better.

[turtles] Ooze, ooze…

It’s nice, right? It’s ooze.

Damn! Ooze.

I like that. I like “ooze.”

So, look, that same ooze made me, okay?

My dad, Baxter Stockman, he’s the one who dumped the ooze down the drain, baby.

So technically, we cousins.

We’re related. We’re cousins! [Superfly] What up, cuz?

Cuzzo, what’s up? That’s awesome!

[Superfly] Cuzzo!

I’ve always wanted a cousin.

Well, look at you now. You got a bunch.

I’m so sorry. I didn’t introduce my peeps.

This is Bebop and that’s Rocksteady.

What you looking at, punks? Yeah, what you looking at?

Right here we got Wingnut.

Hi. Wing-wave.

[Superfly] We got Ray Fillet.

♪ Ray Fillet ♪

[Superfly] Stop singing, fool. Just say your name normal.

Uh, Ray Fillet.

[Superfly] This is Leatherhead.

Ah! G’day, fellas.

[Superfly] Genghis Frog.

Goochie, goochie, goochie. Look at the little jacket.

Peekaboo. Peekaboo. Peekaboo.

[croaks] Don’t patronize me.

We working on that name. Your name is wack, man!

And that’s Scumbug. She only speaks Vermin.

[garbles]

[exclaiming]

And that’s Mondo Gecko.

Hey, what’s up, bros?

I’m a hugger. Get in here. A little too tight.

Get in. That one seems cool.

I like his vibe.

[chuckles] I like your vibe. I like your vibe.

I like your vibe. I like your vibe.

Digging your vibe. [both] I like your vibe!

Mondo, quit hugging everybody!

Remember why we’re here. The story.

We know you’re building some sort of super weapon.

Weapon? I’m building the opposite of a weapon.

Weapons kill.

What I’m making will create.

Okay. I’m leaning in. What are you building?

If we gonna chat, let’s go somewhere fun.

[“Shimmy Shimmy Ya” playing]

[chattering]

Cowabunga, “bro-sin”! I just made that up.

♪ Okay, Fillet! ♪

Eh! Watch that stinger.

Okay, Fillet.

[grunting]

I never met anyone else as angry as me.

What’s not to be angry about? I hate everything!

[Raphael] Man, you guys get it!

That was awesome! That was good.

[Genghis Frog ribbits]

Dang, you guys are good.

Yeah, right? It’s pretty much all we do.

Out of quarters. Don’t worry. I got you, mates.

This is amazing.

[Leatherhead] Get in there. Get the scrum.

Check it, check it. [garbles]

Yo, check this. [garbles]

[both garble]

That was a juicy one!

Hey, guys. What’s going on in there?

Still not sure, if I’m being honest.

Okay, well, ask him more questions!

Figure out what the hell’s going on with this dude.

[song ends]

So, um, maybe you could finish explaining like exactly where you came from and what you want and stuff?

What do I want? Oh, easy.

Acceptance.

No way, man! We want that too. Yeah, like us.

Let me go back to the start.

My earliest memory in the world is my dad telling me that he never was accepted.

He just wanted a family, man. That’s why he created us.

But then, that’s when the people he worked for sent the ops through.

They took it from him.

I rescued my little baby brother and sister.

And since I was the oldest, I had to raise them.

[Bebop] He did a great job. We’re very well-adjusted.

[Superfly] Anyway, we thought, these humans, yeah, they murdered our dad, but maybe they just ain’t all bad, you know?

We went out. We hit the town.

And it didn’t go well.

[screams]

[shouting]

[Superfly] Especially this one dude.

He wouldn’t stop chasing us. He wanted to kill us!

Oh, my God. That’s what happened to us.

That’s why our dad made us live in the sewer our whole lives.

Not me. That sounds like a punk choice.

You know what I did? I beat that fool down!

I touched that chin, mollywhopped him.

Whop, whop to a inch of his life. Bop!

And then I knew what to do.

I decided to kill all the humans and let the mutants rule the Earth.

That– That’s a take.

I inherited my dad’s mind for science and I thought, “What if I built a machine to enact my plan?”

I’ve been stealing all the parts that I need, and now I’m ready.

I’m gonna use a little of my blood to create a weaponized version of the ooze.

Then we gonna launch it into the atmosphere and watch it vaporize. [buzzes]

Here’s the kicker: Every animal on Earth will be transformed into a mutant.

Every fly, flea, tick, snake, fish and whale. [people screaming]

Everything!

And we become the dominant species on Earth.

That’s bad. That’s very bad… for me.

What happens to humans in this plan of yours?

[chuckles] Nothing good.

We wish there was another way to feel safe and happy, but peoples, they got to go!

A bunch of them gonna be eaten, enslaved, turned into fuel of some sort.

Maybe they’ll become a form of entertainment… [chuckles] …you know what I mean?

You know how they used to have dog shows and they had horse races?

Maybe we’ll have redhead shows, fat booty boy races.

Baby tossing. Something like that.

I’ll think of something stupid.

Wow, that’s– that’s even worse.

They should be pets.

Honestly, I’m open to all ideas.

You know what I mean?

Any crazy thing y’all think of, I want to do it.

You know what I mean?

Just pitch it as soon as possible, ’cause now that I got this, I can complete my device, and acceptance will be ours. [buzzes]

Yeah! Yes! Great!

[Superfly] So wassup? You wanna roll with us?

‘Cause we can activate the machine tonight.

Yeah! Yay, Fillet!

Yeah, little dudes! [April on radio] Hey, just checking in.

You stopping them now, or you gonna make me film you supplying an evil villain with the last piece of his horrible puzzle?

You’re gonna stop him? You’re gonna stop him.

Somebody cough so I know you’re gonna stop him. [stammers] Working on it.

Yo, Superfly, so what if we’re actually, like, I don’t know, I’m just getting silly here, what if we’re not into the plan?

What if we don’t like it? What would happen?

Just hypothetically speaking, obviously.

Well, that would mean that I was wrong about you and y’all not as cool as I thought you were.

And that right there piss me off!

[Leonardo] Whoa! Uh…

No, but we don’t– we don’t–

I’m about to go to a hundred on y’all.

No, Superfly, don’t misunderstand me.

Remember? Cousin? Cuz?

No, don’t “cuz” me right now, man. We were kidding.

[Superfly] Drop that. This ain’t got nothing to do with that.

We’re just joking around, because we are, in fact, very into your plan.

It’s, like, great! I love the killing-people part.

Yeah, I’ll cut around that.

Guys, I got an idea.

So, uh, S-Fly, my man, we’ll drive the van with the storage unit, and, uh, you lead the way.

Nice. Smooth.

Cool. But I drive fast, and I don’t want y’all to get lost, so Mondo, Wingnut, Rock!

Ride with the tortoises.

I drive!

You’re– You’re good to drive? [laughs]

No.

[engine starts]

[“Mi Corazon A” playing]

[Wingnut] Spice Girls! Put ’em on!

[Mondo] You don’t like Phish?

[Wingnut] What’s Phish? Spice Girls!

Why are you looking at me? You think of something.

Hey, dudes, fun cruising with you, but where are we going exactly?

Oh. See that building over there? That’s not it. [laughs]

No, we’re going to this super cool shipping graveyard over on Staten Island.

It’s the best borough, bro.

[Rocksteady] I love Staten Island!

Okay, it’s go time. Attack these fools.

Not sure that’s as easy as it sounds.

This dude is literally a rhinoceros, man.

[Mondo] How about something we can all sing along to?

[“What’s Up?” playing]

If we jam the brakes, they’ll fly out of the car.

There’s no windshield. It’s impossible.

We’d need a long and narrow device small enough to get under the seat but strong enough to press the pedal.

You mean a stick?

[Mondo] I got it. 4 Non B’s.

[Mondo, Wingnut, Rocksteady singing along]

How good is this?

Time of my life.

God, they’re good.

[singing continues]

[chuckles, garbles]

[tires screech]

[all scream]

[distorted] What’s going on?

Sorry.

[grunts]

[tires screech]

What the–

Y’all better hurry.

You hurt Rock, I hurt you.

[song resumes]

[device beeping]

Don’t worry, guys. I got this.

[turtles scream]

[garbles]

I don’t got this. I don’t got this!

[Bebop] You’re dead, tortoises!

[shouting]

Oh, yeah!

You can’t stop me! It’s a monster truck, dummies!

Get them, Mondo!

Donnie! [all shout]

[Bebop] Watch where you’re driving!

Yo, dudes, you launched me out of the front of that van.

That is not cool!

I’m so sorry. We had to.

You know what? I don’t accept that apology!

Yeah, I’m not sorry at all, I’m not gonna lie.

[shouts, whimpers]

Boom!

[chuckles]

[song continues]

I’m back, you green punks.

Stop it, you bloody hooligans or I’ll bite your bloody heads off!

[grunts] [shouts]

Superfly’s almost here, and he’s not going to be as nice about this.

You’re not being nice!

He’ll be less nice.

Oh!

[turtles grunt]

It’s now or never, dudes. Give us the device.

[song ends]

♪ 6 ‘N the mornin’ Police at my door ♪

Come on!

[Raphael grunts, groans]

[grunts, strains]

My chucks! Guys?

No! He used my stick against me!

Now he’s mollywhopping me!

[tires screeching]

Man, I almost thought y’all was cool.

See you in hell, turtles!

Quick, grab it!

[Leonardo strains]

[Donatello exclaims]

I’m getting ripped in two!

Goochie goochie goo.

Oh, no!

[turtles scream]

[metal clanking, glass shattering]

[turtles grunt, groan]

[device beeps]

[leader] Go, go, go!

Surround them! Make a perimeter.

April! Help!

Say good night, freak.

[Leonardo groans]

What? What’s happening?

Hey, let us out! Come on!

[Cynthia] Why, hello, turtles.

I’ve been looking for you for a long, long time.

Look, lady, I don’t know what you want from us or why you talk so scary, but we shouldn’t be in here.

There’s a fly monster!

[exclaims]

[electricity buzzing]

I will do the talking.

I am Cynthia Utrom,

and you are my property.

What?

[turtles exclaim]

Hey!

Stop!

Enough.

I will use you to create a stable mutagen.

And with that, I will create an army of super soldiers.

Dolphin men to plant bombs on submarines.

Eagle men to fight enemy jets.

Snake men to slither behind enemy lines.

The glory of it all nearly brings me to tears.

What does this have to do with us? What do you want from us?

What I want is your blood.

And there’s only one way to get it.

Oh, no!

I can’t believe it. She’s gonna…

Hook them up to the milking machine!

[turtles exclaim]

She’s gonna milk us!

[Ray Fillet singing “What’s Up?”]

Ray Fillet, man, shut your mouth!

If I want to be sad, I’ll go listen to some damn John Legend.

Sorry, sir. Sorry, bro.

Remember, this is a happy day, because we’re gonna kill every human on this big, ol’ ugly Earth!

So smile, Mondo!

[blowtorch zapping]

[“Mr. Lonely” playing]

[grate clatters]

Boys! You come home? You forgive me?

My surprise party worked?

[gasps]

[song ends]

Get back! I’ll bite you!

Hey, Mr. Rat Man. I’m April.

I come in peace.

I’m friends with your sons.

And right now, they’re in trouble.

[Michelangelo wailing]

No, no, no!

Stop it!

[wailing continues]

[Raphael groans]

That looks bad. Does it hurt?

Of course it hurts! She’s milking me!

Try to think of something pleasant to take your mind off the pain.

Yeah, think of pizza, Mikey!

No, pizza’s made of cheese, and cheese is made of milk, and I’m being milked!

It’s infiltrated my every thought!

[sobbing]

I’m so sorry, Mikey.

Continue milking them until we have the required amount.

[turtles groan]

[door dings]

[wails]

[grunts, sighs]

This is it, guys. We’re gonna die getting milked to death in a lab.

I can’t believe April just left us.

Maybe she was just using us.

Well, she ended up getting a great story: “Turtle Boys Give Supervillain Last Part of His Evil Machine.”

That’s actually a pretty good title.

Yeah, very clickbait-y. I’d definitely give that a read.

Oh, I have so many regrets.

I wish I could’ve tried frozen yogurt.

You could have! I know. And I blew it!

I wish I could see BTS IRL.

We could… I guess we could sing.

We could do some of the songs for you. Yeah, I’m down.

Really? That would be great.

[singing “Butter”]

Come on, guys.

[turtles singing “Butter”]

You guys don’t even know the words.

[alarm blaring]

What is happening? Got a breach.

Why did the milking stop?

Moving Miss Utrom to a secure location. Someone’s here.

[guards breathing heavily]

[bell dings]

Huh? Huh?

[grunts, breathes shakily]

Boys!

[turtles] Dad!

Stay back, everyone! Stay back!

I just here for my boys, who lied to me.

They are in so much trouble right now.

Is that so, Ratatouille?

Grab another machine and hook him up like the others.

Don’t call me Ratatouille.

[snickers]

[grunting]

[exhales sharply, scoffs]

[cheering]

[guards mumbling]

Go, go, go!

[gasps]

[Michelangelo] Kick his butt, Dad!

[guard] Where you gonna run to, rat?

[breathing heavily]

[grunting]

[sighs]

[bell dings]

[guard] Take him down!

[guards grunting]

[grunting]

[guard] Tase him!

[groans]

[gunfire]

He’s too fast!

[gasping, seething]

[exhales sharply]

Bravo! Dad!

[grunting]

[grunts]

[door dings]

[David Seeger, echoing] I’m a ninja!

[grunts]

[scoffs]

[all] Dad!

Boys, are you okay?

[turtles] Yes!

[Leonardo] We’re more than okay. Yeah, we’re good.

How did you find us?

[grate clatters]

[breathing heavily]

I’d be a pretty big piece of crap

if I didn’t at least try to get your dad to come help you.

April! Oh, my God, you came back?

[Donatello] I did not see that coming.

This human told me you lied to me.

What happened? What have you been doing?

Aw, nothing.

[overlapping chatter]

Wait a minute. What is this machine?

Nothing. It’s nothing. This machine?

Does that say “milking machine”?

No, no, no.

[overlapping chatter]

It’s the opposite of that.

It’s a milking machine.

See? I told you! They milk you!

Now I actually might puke.

Boys, you left the sewer and got milked.

You helped some evil fly man create a machine that is gonna destroy the world and kill the only good human, April!

So, we’re going to clean up your mess, then go home and stay there forever, okay?

What about April’s story?

Forget the story!

April, go home. It’s over, okay?

[mumbling]

There’s only one way for you to be safe and happy, and that’s listen to me.

Let’s go.

Sorry we couldn’t help you get prom uncanceled.

Nah, it’s all right.

Seeing you guys make so many mistakes just to get people to like you made me realize

I was definitely doing this for the wrong reason.

[sighs]

Oh, perfect.

[guard] Backup arriving now. Sealing off the entrance.

Maybe they decided to just give up and go bowling again?

[Superfly] Nah, fam, nah.

We just one step ahead of y’all.

Scram! Betrayers!

[Genghis Frog] You’re the ones that instigated this!

What’s up, bros?

[Leonardo] Stay back.

[Donatello] Back up!

I don’t want to fight another mutant, but I will.

Y’all just won’t quit, huh?

What is it about these stinking humans that you love so much?

Humans are complicated creatures.

They’re good, like April, and bad, like that lady who milked us.

Sorry, did what now?

As much as I don’t like them– and trust me, I do not like them– if we kill them, we are no better than they are.

I refuse to accept that you all are cool with brutally killing all of them.

You just can’t be! You’re awesome.

You’re fun. We… vibed.

You’re not killers. I mean, come on, look at you.

But it’s the only way we’ll be accepted.

No! We accept you.

You could come live with us. We accept you.

Yes, plenty of room.

I kind of don’t want to murder everyone on Earth.

I just kind of want to sing.

♪ Ray Fillet ♪

It’s a good point.

I’d rather not murder tons of people, ’cause, like, what if I’m haunted by the faces of my victims in my sleep?

Of course. Murder is a heavy burden.

Bro, you’ll really let us live with you?

Of course, bro! Brah!

Broski! Bro!

Brosanne! Abracada-brah!

What the hell y’all doing?

Man, stop this kumbaya, I-love-each-other stuff.

Kill them fools!

Uh…

No. We don’t want to do this.

And really, I don’t think we ever did.

We just didn’t know there was any other alternative.

But now that we met these dudes, we see that there is.

So let’s just stop and vibe.

[Wingnut] Gimme a “V!” V… V… A vibe.

Nah, man, I don’t vibe, all right?

And you don’t either. Now get in line!

Seriously, Supe. Turn off the machine.

My own family.

Turned against me after everything that I’ve done for y’all.

Bottom line, if you want to stop this machine, you got to go through me.

[machine beeping]

[machine whirring]

This guy’s making me angry.

This guy’s been making me angry my whole life.

My gosh, he’s the reason we’re angry!

We gonna do something about it? [roars]

[growls, grunts]

Get him! Beat him up!

Mess him up! Get him, Rock!

[snickers]

Bro!

Rock, no!

You’re trash! Come on!

Oink, oink, punk! My nose ring!

[exclaims]

Oh, the machine!

This is our chance! Come on!

So small!

[Wingnut shouts]

[Superfly grunts, exclaims]

Watch out! Get off me!

Oh, no! Funky breath!

Flying kick!

Ray Fillet!

[exclaims]

We gotta break it. Just throw it against the wall or something.

Rip it up! [grunting]

[alert beeping]

Surprise! Why you socking yourself?

[groans]

[Wingnut] Am I actually helping anyone?

[alert beeping]

[groans] You might as well give up.

Watch out!

[grunting]

♪ Ray Fillet ♪

[grunts]

Ray… Fillet.

♪ They smile in your face ♪

♪ All the time they want ♪

♪ To take your place! ♪

[turtles growl]

[Superfly groaning]

[Bebop] We got him! Got him!

What’s going on? Why y’all doing this?

[groans] There’s only one way for you to feel safe and happy.

[echoing] And that’s if you listen to me!

Rat man! Come on! Help me out!

We’re basically the same.

We both hate humans.

I’m just not a punk about it like you!

Don’t you say that!

[Splinter shouts]

[mutants exclaim]

[exclaims, shuddering]

[metal groaning]

[clanking]

[crashing]

Geez, Dad, you really went buck wild there.

Uh… did we stop it?

I think so.

[bubbling]

Hey, when the machine that turns a bunch of animals into mutants goes off underwater, um, and then there’s animals in the water, um, like, what do you think that does?

[roaring]

[turtles exclaiming] What the–

[seagulls squawking]

[roars]

[snarls]

[Leonardo] It’ll crawl on the shore.

[Donatello] It’s just a whale.

[Leonardo] It’s pretty slow, guys.

That’s not so bad.

Oh, my God, that’s bad.

[Mondo] Oh, man, that got way worse.

[shrieking]

[roaring]

Aw, hell, yeah! Look at me! Look at me!

This is amazing!

I ain’t just Superfly, I’m Super Duper Fly.

You know, I mean Missy Elliott Super Duper Fly!

I’m on some Godzilla–

What the hell?

Is that a whale tail?

Aw!

I got a claw.

I got a whale body, a giraffe forehead.

Look at my feets! They’re made of horses.

I’m about to have a ball with this! [chuckles]

Thank you, turtles!

Thank you, you little tortoises.

New York… here I come.

All right! Well, we gave it a shot.

Back to the sewer. I got pizza tonight for dinner and–

Really? We can’t stop that thing.

We couldn’t stop him before he became that thing.

So we just go home?

I bet the army will be here soon.

According to every Godzilla movie, they’ll eventually get here.

[Wingnut] So, you guys got a good Wi-Fi situation down there?

Are you fully able to stream?

No!

Oh! Okay, no streaming.

Not that!

Boys, I messed up.

I don’t want to be like Superfly.

I love you boys. I want you to be happy.

Even though I don’t like humans, I want them to like you, because you want them to like you.

So we are gonna get that monster.

We’re gonna take him down.

We’re gonna film it.

We are gonna show it to the world.

And the world will love you and accept you!

And the world will chant, “Turtles, Turtles, Turtles!” [pants]

Oh, man.

I am feeling great after that speech, right?

It was rousing. I’m fully roused.

But a little bit of a buzzkill here: [both] How do we do that?

[cell phone buzzes]

Hello? [April] Hey. What am I looking at?

What happened to the whole “stop Superfly” thing?

Are we not doing that, or what’s up?

So much has changed since we last spoke.

[April] Yeah, obviously.

It’s a lot to catch up on, okay?

But first, do you maybe know any ways we might be able to stop that thing?

[grunts]

Well, I actually might have something.

Meet me at the leg of the thing we’re all looking at.

Right? Cool.

[engine rumbling, revs]

Let’s go!

[cheering]

[“Ante Up” playing]

[laughs]

[Bebop] We’re dangling, baby!

Yep, this is not triumphant at all.

[Scumbug garbles]

Agh, it hit my lip!

[song continues]

New York, New York!

[song ends]

I’m here, baby!

Y’all thought it was gonna be Godzilla?

Nah! [exhales sharply]

Okay, let’s go. Eye of the tiger. You got this, Raph.

Close one eye. I heard that helps.

Shut up.

[all chattering]

Don’t screw this up.

[whinnies]

What the hell?

[Donatello] We did it. We actually did it.

I think I got it.

[shouts, gurgles]

We’re good, right?

[horse whinnies]

That’s it? One little horse? I don’t need that horse.

You’re clearly not shooting him.

It looks like y’all want to die now.

[crowd clamoring]

[groaning]

[high-pitched ringing]

[Wingnut, muffled] This isn’t going good.

What did the claw say to the face?

“Smack!”

[Wingnut shrieks]

Rocksteady! Buddy!

[ringing continues]

Mondo!

[exclaims]

It’s okay. It grows back. See?

[Donatello, echoes] Mikey! Mikey!

[Michelangelo] Donnie!

Thanks, bro.

Where are the others? I don’t know!

[stammering] Where’s Dad? Where’s April?

[shouts]

He’s gonna run out of cars eventually.

Oh, come on!

[turtles breathing heavily]

You like these rides right here? [grunts]

Oh, the Mercedes E Class, no!

[Raphael] That one’s a Prius. It’s okay.

[exclaims] A Tesla! Somebody’s mad about that.

[all panting]

I think we lost him.

[turtles screaming]

[turtles groaning] Ouch.

[exclaims]

Hit that from the back.

[turtles groaning, coughing]

You good, guys?

[reporter] Monstrous mutants are rampaging… Oh, no.

…through downtown New York.

The only question is do we capture them for experimentation or kill them on sight? Taking calls…

[reporter 2] If you’re just joining us, mutants are attacking the city.

[reporter 3] A rash of monsters in New York is taking over Times Square.

We don’t know what they are, but there will be a military response.

[reporter 3] …threatening to take a bite out of the Big Apple.

Reports indicate widespread destruction and chaos.

[eyewitness] One thing I know: I hate mutants!

[reporter 4] Sightings of the turtles and the mess they leave in their path have been greatly disturbing.

[gasps] It’s them!

I don’t think this is gonna go down how we wanted it to.

They… hate us.

They think we’re villains. No. Worse.

They think we’re monsters.

We’re never gonna be normal.

Look, guys, April was right.

We were doing this for the wrong reasons.

I know we only wanted to be heroes to be accepted.

But even though it looks like we’ll never be accepted, I still think we should try to be heroes.

But how?

Every plan we’ve had has failed.

Plan? You’re complaining we don’t have a plan?

Mikey, what do you do better than anyone, even Mark Ruffalo?

Improvise.

It’s impossible.

Says the guy who has read more comics where people are fighting giant monsters than anyone on Earth!

I have, but– You must be able to think of a way to stop something like that.

Of course! Attack on Titan!

Giant monsters attack, and they have one weakness– on the backs of their necks.

Yes, and the blowhole is exactly that.

That’s it.

If we can get this thing into that thing’s blowhole, it’ll go into its bloodstream.

I bet it’ll demutanize it.

There you go! Demutanize the big monster!

And, Raph,

it’s time to go loud. Loud?

Real loud. As loud as you’ve ever gone.

Use that rage of yours to help us.

Okay, I will!

[strains, shouts]

[cheering] We got to get you into therapy.

You know, just then, for the first time in your life, you didn’t sound lame.

You actually sounded like a leader. I do?

Oh, I do! I sound like such a leader!

Holy crap, that’s so dope! And you ruined it.

Let’s do this!

[gasping]

Dear Lord, this helmet was a good investment.

[no audible dialogue]

[roaring in distance]

Not on my watch.

[clamoring]

Okay, not great. Not great at all.

Very bad.

If you’re just joining us, an army of mutants that appears to be led by four turtle men is attacking the city with a giant whale monster.

[screams]

Keep rolling! I got the real story!

April O’Neil here, and–

[gasps]

[gags, swallows]

[exhales deeply]

April O’Neil here, reporting live with new and confirmed information.

A fly monster is attacking the city, but the turtle teens, along with the rat, warthog, stingray, crocodile, bat, frog, lizard and cockroach lady are in fact fighting against the monster in an attempt to save New York.

The giant monster is bad, but the mutants you see here are in fact good!

[retches, gasping]

Sorry. I really thought I got past that.

That’s a thing from my past.

Anyway, as I was saying…

[all] Whoa!

[both speaking Vermin]

Whoa, Dad, you speak the same language as Scumbug?

We actually have a lot in common.

I’m really attracted to her.

Oh, that’s gross.

Donnie, you should not be driving.

Sorry, Dad. But since you are, go there!

[all screaming]

I’m the king of New York!

[turtles] Whoo-hoo!

[Michelangelo] That slide!

[distorted] Cowabunga!

[screaming]

Gotcha.

[groans]

[grunting]

[all] Dad!

That’s it! You are done. It’s over.

You ain’t never gonna stop me. [screaming, groaning]

And humans are never gonna like you because humans suck!

These shells are hard.

[cracking] I’ma snap you like a pistachio.

This sucks! I know I said your faces were the last things I wanted to see before I die, but now that we’re actually about to die, there’s nothing I’d rather be looking at.

That was so heartfelt.

I’m crying. Love you, bro.

[coughs, groans]

[turtles scream]

Boys, no.

[groans]

[strains]

Damn, these shells are hard!

Oh, no. No.

[snarls]

[growls]

[grunts]

Hey, are you okay?

Do you need help?

[onlooker] It’s him!

He’s with the turtles!

Those turtles are not the bad guys.

They’re actually teenagers and fighting against the giant monster.

I have the whole story.

Uh, sir, you need help?

Yes. [coughs] Yeah.

We’ll go to the hospital or a veterinarian. No, no.

I must get this to my boys.

I got this.

Hey, the humans! They’re helping us!

Really? Yes!

Oh, no, they ain’t!

Hop on! Let’s go!

[exclaiming]

Hop! Hop! Hop! Hop! Hop! Hop!

Hey! I’m a cabbie from the Bronx!

How ’bout that?

Get that to the monster!

[whimpers]

[Superfly] What the hell?

Look, I’m being helpful! [speaking Vermin]

Wow, I’m strong. [shrieks]

Gotcha!

Someone take this bag, please!

Hey, human. Got it from here, bro.

I’ll mess you up right here and right now.

Whoa! Missed me. Whoa.

Don’t worry, I got you.

[Superfly] Hey, Mondo, you slippery lizard!

♪ Yay, Fillet! ♪ I got it!

I heard you need this.

Come on!

[overlapping chatter]

[exclaims]

Ow, man! Dang! Stop!

[horns honking]

[siren blaring]

What the hell?

Damn! [tenants clamoring]

[grunting]

Throw it over!

Got it! [strains]

Whoo-hoo!

Mikey, catch!

Whoa! Whoo!

[vocalizes high note]

[Superfly groans] Comin’ in hot!

[Superfly] Y’all done screwed up now!

Raph!

Leo! Got it!

Damn!

You think this is the end of me? You know what?

[horses whinnying]

[turtles groaning]

Huh?

[crowd chattering]

[cheering]

[chanting] Turtles! Turtles!

What the… What is this?

It’s happening!

It’s actually happening!

Hey, them turtles are all right.

Sign my baby!

[baby chuckles]

Again, we’re reporting live with footage of the mutant hero turtles who saved New York in a story broken by Av–

Wait, what’s your name?

April O’Neil.

That’s April O-apostrophe-Neil.

Not “Puke Girl.”

If you ever call me “Puke Girl,” bite me.

‘Cause I did it! Yeah! Whoo!

[speaking Vermin]

[in English] You know, it’s hard to meet other mutants my age.

[speaking Vermin]

♪ Ray Fillet ♪

Can’t wait to add that to my footy.

The entire Akira original set?

Don’t mind if I do.

[Rocksteady] The couch should go here.

I pictured the couch against the wall.

That’s so basic! That’s not basic! [grunts]

Ay, mateys, Blooming Onion coming right up.

That is outstanding.

I cannot believe it. Your first day of school!

Just remember, you can call anytime you want.

If you get scared, there are sewers all over the city.

Just hop in a sewer!

You can come home anytime.

If anyone messes with you, call me.

I will kick their butt. [grunts]

[speaking Vermin]

[in English] And she will eat what’s left.

[chuckling] We’ll be fine, Dad.

Yeah, don’t worry. We’re ready for this.

We’ve been ready.

Trust us. You’ve prepared us for this.

All right. I’m proud of you boys.

I love you.

We love you.

Love you too.

And I love you too, sweetie.

Dad, really! That’s gross!

Now go show them humans how cool you are.

[students chattering]

[chattering stops]

[cheering]

Do I what? No, no. That’s tortoises.

Guys! Hey, April!

Hey. I’m so happy you made it.

Let me show you around. Oh, okay. [laughs]

Yo, wait up.

[school bell ringing]

[“Can I Kick It?” playing]

[song continues]

Hey, hello!

It’s Donnie, and I have found my people.

[keyboards clattering]

[laughs]

[grunts]

Fold him in half! [laughs]

[in Australian accent] G’day, mate.

Welcome to my Australian shoe store.

Uh, do you have any Nikes?

No, but I do have the Australian version.

Crikeys!

April O’Neil here, working on the next big story for “April Tonight.”

Leo, how many times– Landscape!

Oh, yep, sorry. My bad.

Who is TCRI, the shady black-ops organization behind the mutants?

Their offices abandoned after the mutant attack!

Gone without a trace.

But we will find them.

Yeah, that’s real. [laughs] Yeah, we will. [laughs]

Uh, hey, April, now that prom is back on, do you– I mean, do you maybe want to, well…

I’d love to, Leo.

You looked like you were gonna puke there.

[chuckles]

I almost did.

So the way I do it is, I go…

[grunting]

This is as friends, right? What?

[students chattering]

[song ends]

[insect chittering]

Well… [sighs] it appears as though finding these creatures will be easier than I thought.

Capturing them, on the other hand, might prove difficult.

There is one option.

Yes. I know.

[thunderclap] Bring me… the Shredder.

[thunder crashing]

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