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The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023) | Transcript

A plumber named Mario travels through an underground labyrinth with his brother Luigi, trying to save a captured princess
The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)

The Super Mario Bros. Movie, released in 2023, is a cinematic adaptation of the iconic video game franchise. Directed by Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic, and written by Matthew Fogel, this animated film brought the beloved Nintendo characters to life on the big screen.

Italian-American brothers Mario and Luigi, after opening a plumbing business in Brooklyn, are unexpectedly transported to an alternate universe. Mario lands in the Mushroom Kingdom, ruled by Princess Peach, and Luigi in the Dark Lands, controlled by the evil Bowser. Bowser, intent on marrying Peach, imprisons Luigi as leverage. Mario, with the help of Toad and King Cranky Kong’s son, Donkey Kong, fights to save Peach and the Mushroom Kingdom. After various battles, including a dramatic encounter at Peach and Bowser’s wedding, Mario and Luigi manage to defeat Bowser, who is ultimately shrunken and imprisoned. The brothers are celebrated as heroes in Brooklyn before relocating to the Mushroom Kingdom to continue their plumbing work.

* * *

(grand orchestral fanfare playing)

(laughs)

(engine revving)

(Mario Kart countdown plays)

(giggling)

(groans)

(mutters angrily)

Illumination!

(Super Mario Bros. theme playing)

(dinging)

(level clear fanfare playing)

(wind howling)

♪ ♪

(fire roaring)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(all yelling)

(yells)

Behold! The king of the Koopas!

♪ ♪

(growls)

(growls)

(growls)

(heavy footsteps thudding)

(growls)

Open the gates or die.

(footsteps approaching)

(frightened whimpering)

(gates rumbling)

(neck cracks)

(“Battle Without Honor or Humanity” playing)

Attack!

(all yelling)

(grunting with effort)

(grunts)

That is but a taste of our fury.

Do you yield?

(all grunt fiercely)

(chuckles)

I do not.

(all gasping)

(whimpering)

No.

Ah.

♪ ♪

(magical chiming)

Ah.

(grunts)

(grunts)

(rumbling)

(laughing)

I’ve finally found it.

And now no one can stop me!

(Super Mario Bros. theme plays)

♪ Uh, we’re the Mario Brothers and plumbing’s our game ♪

♪ We’re not like the others who get all the fame ♪

♪ When your sink is in trouble, you can call us on the double ♪

♪ We’re faster than the others ♪

♪ You’ll be hooked on the brothers ♪

♪ Huh! ♪

It’s-a me, a-Mario.

And-a Luigi.

Are you-a tired of a-paying too much for plumbing?

BOTH: Mamma mia!

That’s why the Super Mario Brothers are here.

A-to save Brooklyn.

LUIGI: And-a Queens.

And-a your wallet.

Thank you, Super Mario Bros.

It seems like the only thing you haven’t drained

is my bank account.

Forget-a the expensive a-plumbing companies

a-where you’re just a face-a.

With-a Super Mario Brothers-a, you’re family.

♪ Hooked on the brothers, the brothers, the brothers. ♪

(laughs)

Oh, wow.

You were great.

I was great?

Are you kidding me? You were great!

I am so glad we spent our life savings on this commercial.

That is not a commercial.

That is cinema.

Uh, what about the accents? Is it… is it too much?

Too much-a? It’s-a perfect.

Wahoo!

Okay, I’m gonna trust you.

Well, well, well, if it isn’t Brooklyn’s favorite failures,

the Stupid Mario Brothers.

Ah, great. Spike’s here.

Hey, Spike.

Yeah. “It’s-a me!”

(laughing)

Whew, yeah.

Tell me, have you even gotten one call

since you left me to start your dumb company?

As a matter of fact, Spike, we have.

Wow. Really?

Uh, yeah.

Our mom called, and she said, “Oh, boys,

that’s the best commercial I’ve ever seen.”

And I said, “Thank you very much, Mother.

We’re very proud of it.”

So, boom!

(phone screen shatters)

(laughing)

Good luck running a business with this idiot.

Say that again about my brother,

and you’re gonna regret it.

Oh, yeah?

Get this through your tiny brain, Mario.

You’re a joke, and you always will be.

(Spike chuckling)

(door creaks open, closes)

(bell jingles)

Are you insane? He’s three times your size.

Luigi, come on.

You know, you can’t be scared all the time.

Mm, you’d be surprised.

(cell phone ringing)

Hello. Super Mario Brothers.

Uh-huh.

A drip in your faucet? That’s great!

I mean, that’s-that’s great you called us,

because we can be there and we can fix it right away. Okay.

Mario, we got one!

(laughs)

The Super Mario Brothers are in business!

Woo-hoo!

(engine starts)

(tires squeal)

(engine stops)

(ignition sputtering)

Oh, no. We’re gonna be late.

No, we’re not. Come on, let’s go.

(“No Sleep till Brooklyn” by Beastie Boys playing)

Hey, wait up!

♪ Brooklyn! ♪

This way.

(cat yowls)

Aah!

Come on, Lu. Step on it.

(woman grunts)

(cat screeching)

WOMAN: Excuse you.

LUIGI: Here you go.

♪ No sleep till ♪

(cat meows)

(both sigh)

♪ No sleep till Brooklyn ♪

Oh, Mario, what are you doing?

♪ Yeah ♪

(grunts)

Hey!

Get off of there!

(Mario and Luigi grunting)

You can’t be in… Whoa!

My bad!

Move it up!

Oh, I’m so s-sorry.

Hey, we’re working here!

LUIGI: So sorry.

♪ No… ♪

Come on, Luigi. Pump those legs.

Oh, I’m trying. I’m trying.

I got bad knees. (exhales)

(song ends)

(Mario whistles)

LUIGI: Oh, wow.

We have hit the big time.

(Mario chuckles)

The drip is right upstairs at the end of the hall.

Can you fix it?

Very confident, sir.

You’ll be careful about making a mess?

Ma’am, I assure you, we don’t make messes.

We fix ’em. (laughs)

That’s Francis.

(gasps) He likes you.

(bone snaps)

(Luigi gasps, Francis whines)

(chuckles)

(voice shaking): Hey.

(growls)

Mama, mama, mama love ya, baby.

(Mario chuckles)

(Luigi yelps)

(yelps)

MARIO: Wrench.

(pipe dings)

Mm-hmm.

And a first job complete.

(both grunting)

BOTH: Hey!

(both yelp)

Francis is here. (gasps)

(growling)

Hey there, pal. (chuckles nervously)

(Francis barks)

(both whimpering, grunting)

(screams)

Mario, do something!

(gasps)

(Luigi grunts, yelps)

(growls, barks viciously)

(distorted): Mamma mia!

Whew.

Uh, Mario?

(“L’amour est oiseau rebelle” from Bizet’s Carmen playing)

(metallic creaking)

(aria continues with operatic singing in French)

(Mario gasps)

(grunts)

(yelps)

(rumbling)

(straining)

(grunts)

(rumbling, squeaking)

(yelps) That hellhound is gonna escape!

No, he won’t.

Whew.

Hey, uh, Mario?

(water dripping)

Uh, who’s a good puppy?

(Mario chuckles nervously)

Who’s a good boy? (whimpers)

(whimpering)

(growls)

(both screaming)

(aria stops)

BOTH: Hmm?

WOMAN: Hmm.

(aria resumes)

(straining)

(aria ends)

(both gasp)

Found the problem.

(Francis barks)

ARTHUR: Ma, did you make these?

MOM: Ah, good batch, eh?

ARTHUR: Why don’t you make it like this?

ALL: Hey-o!

BOTH: Hey-o!

Oh! It’s the Super Mario Brothers, from the TV.

(laughter)

They give an Oscar for worst actors?

Hey!

(laughs) What’d I do?

(chuckles) So, uh…

so everybody saw the commercial, then?

Uh-huh. We seen it.

And?

I wouldn’t quit your day job.

Oops! He already did.

(laughter)

Well, I thought it was incredible.

It belongs in a movie theater.

Ugh. Mushrooms?

Everybody loves mushrooms, right?

I like mushrooms.

I’ll take it.

(chuckles): Yeah.

Mario, seriously,

what were you thinking with that commercial?

What? It’s supposed to be funny.

Can someone pass the bread?

Yeah, but what’s with the outfits?

Plumbers wearing white gloves?

That’s right, you got to have a trademark.

Got to stand out.

Don’t listen to them.

The world laughed at da Vinci, too.

Mm, I’m not sure they did, Ma.

Dad, what did you think?

I think you’re nuts.

You don’t leave a steady job for some crazy dream.

And the worst part?

You’re bringing your brother down with you.

Well, thanks, Dad.

Thanks for your support.

(door closes)

What’d I say?

(video game music and sound effects playing)

Thanks for tuning in to News Channel 4.

Hey.

Uh, you’re not bringing me down.

You know what? What do they know, huh?

It’s not just them.

Our whole lives, everyone’s telling us

we can’t do this, we can’t do that.

I’m just sick and tired of feeling so small.

NEWSCASTER: A water main burst underground today,

stopping subway service and flooding Downtown Brooklyn.

(TV volume increases)

Everything is under control, I promise you.

We are very close to fixing this.

(people screaming)

MAN: Out of the way!

MAN 2: Go back!

Somebody, help!

Somebody, save Brooklyn!

Save Brooklyn?

Luigi, this is our chance.

Destiny is calling.

Destiny Del Vecchio from high school?

What? No.

Just come on.

(yelps)

MAN: It’s more than the storm drains can handle!

WOMAN: Come on! We got to pump it!

I got this.

(yelps)

They’re not even looking in the right place.

Come on, Lu.

(grunting)

You are not seriously considering…

Mario!

(groans, chuckles nervously)

(inhales deeply)

(screams)

(coughs, gasps)

We got to get to that pressure valve.

(rumbling, rattling)

Mamma mia.

(grunting)

(yelps)

(whimpering)

(rumbling, rattling)

(Luigi whimpering)

(hissing)

(Luigi whimpers)

(grunting)

Uh…

(whirring, rumbling)

(both screaming)

(both groaning)

I knew saving Brooklyn was a bad idea.

Come on.

(Luigi grunts)

Whoa.

What is this place?

(water burbling, steam hissing)

♪ ♪

Looks like nobody’s been down here for years.

(clanking)

Luigi?

Luigi, are you in there?

Luigi!

What?

(wind rushing)

(yelps, whimpers)

(screaming)

(gasping, yelling)

(gasps)

♪ ♪

Whoa.

(Luigi grunting, yelling)

Luigi!

Mario!

(yells)

Give me your hand!

It’s all gonna be okay!

How is this gonna be okay?

I’m telling you, nothing can hurt us

as long as we’re together.

(whooshing, rumbling)

Mario!

MARIO: Luigi!

(yells)

(yells, grunts)

(muffled grunting)

(groaning)

(gasps)

♪ ♪

Do not touch that mushroom! You’ll die!

(Mario yelps, whimpers)

Oh, I’m sorry. That one’s perfectly fine.

That’s a little mushroom man.

A little mushroom man talking to me.

Pleased to meet you.

I’m Toad.

Uh, Mario.

So this is, uh… this is… this is not a dream?

(yells)

That hurt, right?

Yes!

Definitely not a dream.

Then it’s… this place is…

The Mushroom Kingdom!

Mushrooms? Really?

Now, that is a cruel twist of fate.

(gasps)

Hello.

Yeah, I’m actually looking for somebody.

Uh, my brother, in fact.

He looks exactly like me but tall and skinny and green.

See, last time I saw him, he… he was falling through a pipe.

It was foggy, and… and I believe there was lava.

(Toad gasps)

Uh, that is not good.

(voice shaking): Um, your brother

has landed in the Dark Lands.

They’re under…

(whispers): Bowser’s control.

Bowser?

He’s the most evil, wretched creature alive.

(grunts)

(both grunting)

I’m taking you to see the princess.

She can help you.

She can do anything.

Princess?

(gasps)

♪ ♪

Come on, Mario!

Our big adventure begins now!

Hang on, Luigi.

♪ ♪

(birds cawing)

(groans)

(whimpers)

Mario? Mario?

Where are you?

Huh?

(grunts, screams)

(gasping)

(screams)

(bats screeching)

(sighs)

(rustling)

(gasps)

(whimpers)

(Luigi gasps)

(panicked whimpering)

(snarls)

(screams)

(grunts)

(groans) Oh.

(laughs) Yes!

You just got a-Luigi’d.

(snarling)

(gasps)

(snarls)

(whimpers softly)

(whimpering)

(snarling)

(whimpering)

(yelps, whimpers)

(yelps)

(yelps)

(grunting)

(straining)

(gasps, yells)

(whimpering)

(thunder rumbling)

(sighing heavily)

(laughs)

(thunder crashes)

(Luigi screams)

♪ ♪

This way, Mario.

The princess lives right on that hill.

(grunting)

(panting)

Excuse me, everybody. Coming through.

Got a big adventure happening right now.

Just clear a path for us.

If I could just…

Here you go.

TOAD: Excuse me.

Excuse me, everybody! Coming through!

This guy’s brother is going to die imminently!

Out of the way, please!

Just trying to clear a path. That’s all I’m doing.

He’s gonna be fine.

Chanterelle.

Morning.

Nice to see you, bud.

(clicks tongue)

(busy chatter)

Does this thing work?

Yes, works great.

You just have to blow into it.

And up we go.

Wait, up?

(grunts)

(whimpers)

(panicked whimpering)

(grunts)

(panting heavily)

(Toad whistles)

(panting)

Whoa. Okay, so these bricks are just floating here? Uh…

TOAD: Just pop in this pipe, and we’re on our way.

Oh.

It’s the only way to fly, man.

(whooshing)

(Toad laughing, whooping)

Oh, wow. Love these pi… (yells)

(screaming, grunting)

Whoo!

(grunts, screams)

(yells, grunts)

Huh?

(grunting)

Oh, come on.

(groans)

Here we are. Palace doors.

Bing, bang, boom.

Come on! (laughs)

Whoo!

Whoa.

♪ ♪

Pretty impressive, am I right?

Hold it right there, you two.

Oh, hey. I need to see the princess.

It’s an emergency.

What princess?

I never heard of any princess.

Oh, wait, I did.

Our princess, though, is in another castle.

Oh, yeah. That’s right.

You should try another castle, maybe.

She ain’t in this one.

Huh?

Okay, so they’re messing with you,

and I don’t like it.

(both gasp)

(Toad yelling)

What do you guys, um… What do you want to eat?

Anything… anything your hearts desire.

Go.

I am ready to scramble it up.

(laughter)

(grunts, gasps)

Hey! Intruder!

Stop him!

(panting)

Intruder!

(whimpers)

Stop him!

Stop him!

Now! Stop him!

(quiet murmuring)

Council, your attention.

Bowser has found the Super Star

and is headed toward our kingdom.

Its power will make him invincible.

We will be destroyed.

(all gasping)

Princess, what are we gonna do?

I will not let him hurt you.

We are going to stop Bowser.

How? Look at us.

We’re adorable.

I’m going to convince the great Kong army to help us.

Together, we’ll annihilate that monster.

Their mad king doesn’t make alliances.

The Kongs will never agree.

I can convince him.

I’ll leave for the Jungle Kingdom in the morning.

Good luck, Princess, for all our sakes.

(Mario panting)

(distorted): Princess!

(yelps, groans)

(gasps) Princess. Hi…

(grunting and groaning)

Wait. Release him.

(groans)

PEACH: Whoa.

Are you…

(gasps)

He’s a human!

I mean, you are a human, right?

It’s just, you’re so small and…

Hey.

Wait, wait, wait.

Let-let’s go back. Where did you come from?

Uh, me and my little brother Luigi,

we-we fell down this pipe.

And now he’s lost s-somewhere in the Dark Lands.

Then it’s only a matter of time until he’s captured by Bowser.

But you’re in luck.

I’m on my way to stop him.

Well, take me with you.

This guy’s a lunatic, a psycho.

He will eat you for breakfast.

He won’t even notice it, probably,

’cause you’re very, very small.

You know what? Make fun of me all you want,

but you are gonna help me find my brother.

Please?

Well, okay.

Let’s see what you’re made of.

Is that a yes?

No, that’s a “let’s see what you’re made of.”

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

If you can finish this, you’re coming with me.

Watch and learn.

♪ ♪

(grunting)

(yells)

(yells)

Hi-yah!

(pants, grunts)

That was amazing.

Wait. How-how am I supposed to do that?

With the Power-Ups.

They give us special abilities.

Ugh. Really?

Go on. Eat it.

(groans)

Now, this has to be a mushroom?

‘Cause I just hate mushrooms and…

Okay, okay.

(clears throat, inhales deeply)

Are you sure there’s not, like, a…

Down the hatch.

(groans) Ow.

Yep, there it is, and all gone.

(gagging)

Oh, not cool.

Uh…

(soft whooshing)

Huh?

(groans)

(grunts)

(gasps, whimpers)

Whoa-oh-oh!

I’m tall.

And strong.

(grunts)

And you can jump.

(chuckles) Oh, I got this.

No problem.

Woo-hoo!

(screaming)

(muffled yelling)

(yells)

Oh, yeah.

When you get hit, you lose the power.

Great. (groans)

Come on. Try again.

(“Holding Out for a Hero” by Bonnie Tyler playing)

(grunts, screams)

Ooh.

(yelps)

(groans)

♪ Where have all the good men gone? ♪

♪ And where are all the gods? ♪

♪ Where’s the streetwise Hercules ♪

Yes! (screams)

(groans)

♪ To fight the rising odds? ♪

(grunts, screams)

♪ Isn’t there a white knight upon a fiery steed? ♪

(swallows, gags)

(retching)

♪ Late at night, I toss and I turn ♪

♪ And I dream of what I need ♪

♪ I need a hero ♪

♪ I’m holding out for a hero till the end of the night ♪

♪ He’s gotta be strong and he’s gotta be fast ♪

♪ And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight ♪

♪ I need a hero ♪

♪ I’m holding out for a hero till the morning light ♪

♪ He’s gotta be sure and it’s gotta be soon ♪

♪ And he’s gotta be larger than life ♪

♪ Larger than life. ♪

(grunting)

♪ ♪

(muffled scream)

Well, we have a long journey ahead of us, Mustache.

But I didn’t make it.

You almost did.

No one gets it right away.

How many tries did it take you?

(chuckles): Oh, so many.

I was not good at it.

Worse than you.

You got it right away, didn’t you?

I got it right away, but I grew up here.

Okay, now you’re just trying to make me feel better.

No. No.

Is it working?

A little bit. Yeah.

(rumbling)

(thunder crashes)

(low growling)

(heavy metal music playing)

(lively chatter, laughter)

(grunting)

(barking)

(explosion)

(screaming)

My army!

Koopas.

Yeah!

Goombas.

(chuckling)

Whatever those things are.

(both groan)

After years of searching for the Super Star,

it is finally ours!

CROWD: Yeah!

I am now the most powerful turtle in the world!

CROWD: Yeah!

Soon, we will arrive at the Mushroom Kingdom.

CROWD: Yeah!

Where, after years of being sworn enemies,

I will ask their princess to marry me

in a fairy-tale wedding!

CROWD: Yeah!

(music stops)

Eh?

(weakly): Yeah.

Did he say marry their princess?

KOOPA TROOPA: Doesn’t she hate you?

Of course she hates me.

But that makes me love her all the more.

Her heart-shaped bangs,

the way she floats in the breeze,

her immovable tiara.

And when she sees this star…

(chuckling): oh, wedding bells.

Well, what if she says no?

Then I will power up with this star

and destroy the Mushroom Kingdom!

(music resumes)

CROWD: Yeah!

Prepare yourselves for the best wedding ever.

It’s gonna rock!

(yawns)

♪ ♪

(Shy Guy chattering)

(Luigi grunts)

♪ ♪

(blows raspberry, grunts)

(laughs)

(grunts)

(thunder rumbling)

(fanfare playing)

(gasps)

(crowd cheering)

They’re all counting on us.

No pressure.

(cheering continues)

Huh?

(chuckles nervously)

My Toads, our days of terror are almost over.

With the help of the Kong army, we will stop…

Uh, who’s he?

(chuckles nervously)

He’s not important!

(Toads cheering)

Nervous?

Who? Me? (scoffs)

Yes, a little.

(chuckles)

TOAD: ♪ We’re going on an adventure! ♪

Come on, guys!

(scatting)

Hey, Mario.

You know this guy?

Uh…

We’re best friends.

But are we?

Don’t worry.

I will protect you.

A Toad brave enough to join me.

I fear nothing.

Well, that settles it.

You’re coming with us.

Let’s move.

(laughs excitedly)

I said we’re going on an adventure!

Whoo!

(bug squeals)

♪ ♪

(grunts)

(exhales sharply)

(grunting)

Pretty incredible, huh?

Mamma mia.

PEACH: I’ll never let anyone ruin this.

(piano playing gentle melody)

♪ Peach, you’re so cool ♪

♪ And with my star we’re gonna rule ♪

♪ Peach, understand ♪

♪ I’m gonna love you till the very end ♪

♪ Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches ♪

♪ Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Peaches, Peaches… ♪

Sire.

(piano plays sour note, stops)

What?

A report from our intelligence.

A mustachioed human has arrived in the Mushroom Kingdom.

(growls)

The princess has been training him.

They are up to something, sire.

Sit.

Jam with me.

(playing “Underground Theme”)

This, uh, human, where did he come from?

We… aren’t sure.

Does the princess like him?

Oh, sire. Look in the mirror.

You have nothing to worry about.

I know that. I’m not threatened.

(screams)

Find out who he is and what they’re planning!

I’m on it, sire.

May I lift the cover?

Not yet.

Pain is the best teacher.

(whimpers)

♪ ♪

(sighs)

Thinking about your brother?

We’ve never been apart this long.

Don’t worry. We’re going to save him.

(tinkling, whooshing)

You don’t seem like you’re from here.

I don’t know where I’m from.

Really?

Yep.

My earliest memory is arriving.

PEACH: I was so lucky they found me.

They took me in.

(giggling)

Raised me like one of their own.

And when I was ready…

(Toads cheering)

they made me their princess.

Hey, maybe you’re from my world.

There’s a huge universe out there

with a lot of galaxies.

(flute plays lilting melody)

(whooshing)

(thunder rumbling)

(yelps)

(thunder crashes)

(gasps)

(gasps)

(grunts)

We found him in the Dark Lands.

(growls)

(whimpers)

(scoffs)

Leave him to me.

(whooshing)

(whimpers, yells)

What is your name?

Uh, Luigi.

(whimpers)

Not sure if you know who I am,

but I’m about to marry a princess and rule the world.

Wow, uh… (chuckles)

(unenthusiastically): Yay.

But there’s one problem, Luigi.

There’s a human traveling with my fiancée.

Has a mustache, just like you.

Do you know him?

No. No.

Ah, a tough one, I see.

Maybe this will get you to talk.

(yelps)

LUIGI: Do you think I know

every human being with a mustache

wearing an identical outfit

with a hat with the letter of his first name on it?

Because I don’t.

(grunts)

(screams)

Do you know him?!

Stop!

Stop, stop, stop, stop. I know him.

Yes, I know him. Yeah, he’s my brother Mario,

and he’s the best guy in the world.

Do princesses find him attractive?

They do if they have good taste!

(hair rips)

(screaming)

Get him out of my sight!

We’ll see how tough this Mario is

when he watches me kill his brother!

(Luigi screaming)

(whimpering)

(whimpering)

Where am I?

(laughter)

(yelps)

Home.

PENGUIN KING: Pay him no heed.

He is cute, but he is… (whistles)

In an insane world, it is the sane who is called crazy.

(blows)

How long you guys been in here?

Time, like hope, is an illusion.

Please! We are depressed enough!

There’s got to be a way out of here.

There is no escape.

The only hope is the sweet relief of death.

(others gasping, groaning)

PENGUIN KING: Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.

(whimpers)

♪ ♪

You ready?

Eh… sure.

(roaring)

(Mario and Toad scream)

(growls)

What?

How you doing?

We are here to see the king.

(growls)

Follow me.

That gorilla’s wearing a sports coat.

Feel underdressed. (chuckles)

(engine starts, revs)

(“Take On Me” by A-ha playing)

Hop in.

(Toad grunts)

(tires squeal)

(Mario and Peach yelp)

(all yelling)

♪ We’re talking away… ♪

(Mario and Peach screaming)

(Toad whooping)

♪ I’ll say it anyway ♪

♪ Today’s another day to find you shying away ♪

(Peach screams)

(Mario grunts)

♪ I’ll be coming for your love ♪

♪ Okay? ♪

TOAD: Whoo!

♪ Take on me ♪

♪ Take on me ♪

(horns honking)

♪ Take me on ♪

♪ Take on me ♪

(gasps)

(screams)

♪ I’ll be gone ♪

♪ In a day or two ♪

(Toad laughing, whooping)

(Mario screaming)

♪ I’ll be gone ♪

♪ Take on me ♪

♪ In a day ♪

♪ Take me on ♪

♪ Take on me ♪

♪ Take on me ♪

♪ Take on me. ♪

(Peach yelps)

(Mario grunts)

(tires squeal)

(Mario groaning)

Oh, by all means, come in.

♪ ♪

Great and mighty Cranky Kong…

So, I heard you want my army.

Yes, Your Highness.

Without your help,

the Mushroom Kingdom will be annihilated.

What makes you think you’re worthy of fighting alongside

the greatest army in the world?

Because we have heart.

And with your strength, we can win.

Okay, fine.

That’s it?

No, that’s not it.

The answer is no. Goodbye.

If the Mushroom Kingdom falls, the Jungle Kingdom is next.

We’re not leaving without your army.

(laughing)

Who is this guy?

Oh, he makes me laugh.

(laughs)

All right, tough guy.

You want my army so badly, defeat my son

in the Great Ring of Kong!

Give us a second.

(hushed): This is a really, really bad idea.

Well, do you have another way to save my brother?

Are you two done whispering?

It’s a little rude.

You, sir, have a deal.

I’ll fight your son and win.

I’m sure you will.

(laughing)

(coughing, laughing)

(engine chugging)

(takes deep breath)

(crowd cheering)

♪ ♪

(gasps)

(booing)

(gasps)

(roaring)

(crowd cheering)

♪ Here, here, here, here we go ♪

♪ DK ♪

(yells)

♪ Donkey Kong ♪

I am DK.

♪ DK ♪

I’m Donkey Kong.

♪ Donkey Kong… ♪

Yeah! We love you!

(cheering)

DONKEY KONG: Oh, yeah.

Hi, Dad.

Hi.

No, no.

Don’t do that.

Dad, wave back.

Enough with the showboating.

What do you mean? They like it.

It’s what they came here for.

Dancing pecs.

(crowd cheering)

Okay, simmer down.

♪ Donkey Kong. ♪

I said simmer down!

(music stops)

DIDDY KONG: DK! DK! DK!

That means you, Diddy Kong.

D… Sorry.

Now, since I want this fight to last more than five seconds,

I put Power-Ups around the arena.

You’re welcome, Mario.

I don’t need anything special to break

every bone in your tiny body!

(crowd cheering)

(growls)

(chuckles nervously)

(exhales sharply)

All right.

(growls)

(cheering)

(grunts)

(whimpers)

(groaning)

Oh!

Oh, my… Okay.

Guess you’re not getting my army.

(grunting)

(whimpers)

Is this what you came for?

(cheering)

We love you, DK!

(grunting)

DONKEY KONG: Hi, Dad! Love you!

It is on like Donkey Kong!

(grunts)

You’re about to pick on someone your own size.

(crowd gasps)

Yeah…

(high-pitched yelling)

Oh…

I guess he got the wrong mushroom.

(laughs)

(high-pitched chuckling)

(screaming)

(groans)

(whimpering)

(screaming)

(Donkey Kong grunts fiercely)

Oh!

(screams, grunts)

(whimpering)

(grunts)

Get up, Mario!

(frightened whimpering)

(gasping)

(yelps, screams)

(grunts)

(Donkey Kong blows)

(screams)

(thump)

(Mario yells, grunts)

(grunting and groaning)

Had enough?

Not even close.

(grunts)

(crowd gasps)

(Mario yelling)

(inhales deeply)

Mario!

(distorted): It’s-a me.

The box!

(crowd cheering)

(grunting)

(purrs)

CROWD: Aw!

He looks adorable.

(Peach chuckling)

He really does.

Oh, what? I’m a cat?

(Donkey Kong laughing)

You got the cat box! Oh, my…

Oh! Oh, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

Okay. Now you die.

(crowd gasps)

Huh. I’m a cat.

Meow.

(yells)

(groans)

(panting, grunting)

(shouts excitedly)

(Donkey Kong grunts)

(panting)

Had enough?

Not even…

close.

(groans softly)

I’ll take that as a yes.

(groans)

(crowd cheering)

♪ ♪

CROWD (chanting): Mario! Mario!

Yes! That’s my best friend!

Mario! Mario!

Mario! Mario! Mario!

Yeah, yeah.

(chuckles)

CROWD (chanting): Mario! Mario!

(groans)

That was incredible.

He kept beating you senseless…

Hey.

And you just kept getting back up?

You just don’t know when to quit.

Huh.

Well, never thought of that as a good thing.

It’s a great thing.

Thanks. I…

I let him win, just for the record.

Really, though? Why would you do that?

You want to know why? It’s…

Mind your own business! That’s why!

All right, giant monkey.

Enough! Get inside.

We’ve located Bowser’s ship.

He’s gonna arrive at the Mushroom Kingdom by sundown.

Lucky for you guys, I got a shortcut.

We beat him there and ambush him.

Yeah, I know.

That’s why we’re gonna need karts.

(busy chatter)

♪ ♪

(whirring)

(engine revving)

Well, what are you waiting for?

Pick your karts.

(electronic chiming)

(mechanical whirring)

(“Thunderstruck” by AC/DC playing)

♪ Thunder ♪

♪ Thunder ♪

♪ Thunder ♪

♪ Thunder ♪

♪ You’ve been ♪

(engine revving)

♪ Thunderstruck ♪

♪ Thunderstruck ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, thunderstruck ♪

♪ Ooh, thunderstruck ♪

(engine revving)

♪ Thunderstruck ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, thunderstruck. ♪

(tires squealing)

(whispers): I hate you.

To the Mushroom Kingdom

and the biggest fight of our lives.

Here we go!

(engines roaring, tires squealing)

MALE KONG: Yeah!

♪ ♪

Princess Peach, here we are.

(chuckles)

I guess love really makes a guy come out of his shell.

(chuckles)

(stomping)

(chuckles, inhales deeply)

Let’s rule the world together forever.

Will you marry me?

Oh, yes!

(clears throat)

BOTH: What?!

We have found the princess and the mustachioed human.

He has defeated Donkey Kong and won the Kong army.

So, like, Peach was super impressed?

It appears so, yes.

They are heading toward their secret passage.

Oh, they think they can surprise me, huh?

Two can play at that game.

(engine revving)

(Donkey Kong chuckles)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Um, no one panic, but the road is about to end.

Well, then you better step on the gas and buckle up!

(laughing)

(tires squealing)

(whimpering)

(screaming)

♪ ♪

(laughing excitedly)

Woo-hoo!

Is there anything like this in your world?

What?

(louder): Is there anything like this

in your world?

(chuckles)

No.

We don’t drive on rainbows.

What are you gonna tell me next?

That the turtles aren’t evil?

No, no. They’re usually pets.

No way.

Ah, come to Brooklyn. I’ll buy you a turtle.

(chuckles)

Maybe I will.

(horn honking)

Dude, is this you flirting?

This is painful.

Just… I was trying to be nice.

You are so embarrassing.

A princess would never go out with you.

Yes, she would. I guarantee she would.

(chuckles): Guys, enough.

All right, all right.

(growls)

Attack!

(hollering)

♪ ♪

(grunting)

It’s an ambush!

(whimpers)

Defensive positions!

(tires squealing)

(screaming)

(laughing)

Mario, you’re a dead man.

(whimpers)

Split up!

Mario!

(grunting)

(whimpers)

(grunts)

(yells)

(growls)

(laughs)

(gasps)

Whoa!

(alarm blares)

(yells)

(laughs): Whoa.

(yells)

(screams)

(grunting)

(laughs)

(screaming)

(grunting)

(yelps)

(screaming)

I’m too cute to die!

(screaming)

(grunts)

(laughs)

That is how you princess!

(laughing)

(Mario gasps, whimpers)

(straining)

Time to die, Mario.

(screams)

(cackling)

(yells)

(whimpering)

(laughs, gasps)

Ow!

See ya!

(whooshing)

No!

Woo-hoo! (laughs)

Yeah!

♪ ♪

You can’t escape me.

What?

Blue shell!

(whimpering, screaming)

(rapid beeping)

(explosive whoosh)

(screaming)

No!

No, Mario.

(tires squealing)

Aah! No.

No!

(yelps) Whoa!

Get your clown claws off of me!

(laughing)

Goodbye, Mario.

We have to get home.

(screaming)

Hey, this is your fault!

My fault? You’re the one who…

Stop talking!

I don’t want the last thing I hear before I die

to be your…

♪ ♪

(grunts)

(muffled grunting)

♪ ♪

(gasping)

Mario, you saved my life.

Yeah, well, I won’t tell anyone.

Good. Please don’t.

Okay.

(rumbling)

(water burbling)

Uh, did you just feel something?

(both screaming)

Swim!

♪ ♪

Bowser’s on his way.

You have to evacuate.

(frantic chatter)

Hurry. Get out of the city!

(engine roaring)

(Toads gasping)

(panting)

Princess?

We lost the army.

(Toads gasping, whimpering)

And Mario’s gone.

(Toads gasp)

Bowser is coming.

Head into the forest. I’ll buy you some time.

You heard her. Evacuate the city.

(frantic chatter)

Go with the others.

I said I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you.

Run!

(frantic chatter, yelling)

Just leave it. There’s no time.

♪ ♪

(whimpering, screaming)

(rumbling)

(thunder crashing)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Princess Peach.

Brave as ever.

As you can see, I have the Super Star.

If you’re going to use it, use it now.

(clears throat)

No, Princess.

I stole this star for us.

I guess love really makes a guy come out of his shell.

(chuckles)

I told you that line wouldn’t work.

KAMEK: You’re doing great.

Peaches, with this star, we will be invincible.

We can rule the world together forever.

Will you marry me?

Marry you?

Are you insane?

I would never marry you.

Maybe you should reconsider.

(crackling)

(screams)

No!

(gasps) Stop!

(Toad groaning)

Please stop.

I’ll… I’ll-I’ll marry you.

Just don’t hurt my Toads.

(Toad groaning)

(Peach gasps)

(pained whimpering)

You have my word.

(sighs)

(laughs) Time for a wedding!

♪ ♪

LUMALEE: ♪ Life is sad ♪

♪ Prison is sad ♪

♪ Life in prison is very, very sad. ♪

(clanking)

(screaming)

(sighs)

Ooh, fresh meat for the grinder.

Who’s this ray of sunshine?

There’s no sunshine, only darkness.

Shut up, shut up, shut up!

Hello, prisoners.

You don’t deserve this,

but you’re invited to the royal wedding!

Yay!

Where you will all be ritualistically sacrificed!

(all screaming)

Oh, no, no, no.

Finally, mercy.

(whimpering)

Mario.

♪ ♪

So this is the end.

Being slowly digested by an eel,

next to an idiot in overalls.

Well, at least your brother isn’t gonna die because of you.

At least you’re not gonna die

with your dad thinking you’re a joke.

Yeah, well, my dad thinks I’m a joke, too.

Yeah? Well…

your dad’s right!

You know what? I feel bad enough.

Just-just leave me alone.

I’ve never met your dad, but he sounds brilliant.

Just go in a corner and smash some stuff, smash monkey!

(groans)

I am more than a guy

who smashes things!

(deep grumbling)

(rumbling)

(belches softly)

(grumbles)

(roars)

(both whooping)

That was amazing!

Now we’re even!

♪ ♪

(grunting)

(takes deep breath)

(door opens)

Princess, I got it.

(sighs) Great job.

Couldn’t have you going out there without your bouquet.

It’s perfect.

(door clunks, creaks)

(fanfare playing)

(Felix Mendelssohn’s “Wedding March” playing)

(gasps)

(Luigi gasping, whimpering)

I’ll be sacrificing them in your honor.

Lower the prisoners!

(clanking, rumbling)

(whimpering)

(clears throat) Dearly belov…

(yelps)

Huh?

(guests gasp)

Drama.

You really thought I’d marry you?

Kinda.

I’d never marry a monster.

Then we are breaking up right now!

(grunting)

(gasping)

(sighs heavily)

(guests shouting)

(grunts)

(thunder rumbling)

They got to be up there.

Fire!

(both yell)

(Donkey Kong groaning)

(Mario gasps)

You want to do this?

Yes, I do.

(grunting)

Yes! Fire!

(laughs excitedly)

(yells, grunts)

Woo-hoo!

This is fun!

Ha! Loser!

(grunts)

Hey, what does this do?

Whoa!

Whoa. Yeah.

(yells)

Whoa. (laughs)

Cool raccoon suit.

Really?

Not at all.

(grunting)

(shouts)

(yells)

(grunts)

(ice crackling)

(whimpers, groans)

(grunts)

(frightened whimpering)

(straining)

(panicked gasping)

(yelps)

(gasping, babbling)

Whee!

(laughing)

(screams)

(gasps)

(clanking)

Huh?

(grunting)

(sighs)

Whew.

Boo.

(grunting)

(screaming)

Huh? (yelps)

Lu!

Mario?

(Luigi laughs)

(laughs) I told you. See?

As long as we’re together, everything is gonna be okay.

(Luigi laughs excitedly, sighs)

Mario, why do you look like a bear? What is this?

(Donkey Kong grunting)

You did good, kid.

Make your pecs dance. You deserve it.

No time now. Definitely later.

(ice crackling)

(growling)

(strained growling)

Launch the Bomber Bill

and destroy the Mushroom Kingdom!

(rumbling)

(explosive whooshing)

(all gasp)

♪ ♪

No.

Hey, hey. Hey, over here.

(grunting)

(straining)

(gasps)

You asked for it.

(squeaking)

(chuckles) Hello.

(growls)

♪ ♪

(gasps)

Ow! (grunts)

Really?

Follow me.

Come on.

Little closer.

(grunts)

(distorted): Mamma mia!

(whooshing)

Huh?

(explosive whoosh)

(groans)

(screams, grunts)

(deep creaking)

(Peach yelps)

(yells)

(grunting, screaming)

(screaming)

(chuckling)

That’s beautiful.

You made these, right?

(rumbling)

(gasps)

Huh? Whoa.

(electrical crackling)

(whimpers)

(whooshing)

(Mario screaming)

(panting)

Huh?

Brooklyn?

(tires squeal)

(gasps)

Mario?

(door closes)

You almost dented my…

(whooshing)

(gasps)

(people screaming, whimpering)

(distorted scream)

(screaming, grunting)

(gasps, whimpers)

(yelps)

(groans, gasps)

♪ ♪

BOWSER: Mario!

(yells)

You want this?

(Mario yelps, whimpers)

(growling)

(gasps, whimpers)

(yelps, grunts)

You ruined my wedding!

I was finally gonna be happy!

Now you will suffer!

(groans)

Like me!

(grunting fiercely)

(screams, groans)

(breathing shakily)

(pained grunting)

You really thought you could stop me?

You worthless, weak little nothing.

Come out and fight!

Or are you too scared?

(groans, pants)

(laughs)

Just what I thought.

(grunts)

(groans)

(Donkey Kong yells)

(growls, roars)

(grunting and groaning in distance)

(sighs)

(static crackling)

MARIO and LUIGI (over TV): Mamma mia!

That’s why the Sup-Super Mario Brothers are here.

A-to save Brooklyn… save Brooklyn…

Brooklyn… save Brooklyn.

(no audio)

♪ ♪

Let’s-a go.

(growls)

MARIO: Hey.

Leave him alone.

Mario?

(Donkey Kong grunts)

You just don’t know when to quit.

Yeah.

I’ve been told that before.

Mario!

(grunting and groaning)

PEACH: The star!

No! That’s mine!

(whimpers, pants)

(flames rumbling)

(straining)

Lu.

Nothing can hurt us as long as we’re together.

(creaking, rumbling)

(straining, whimpering)

(both grunt, yelp)

No!

(laughing)

♪ ♪

Huh?

(Mario and Luigi grunt)

(Bowser screams)

Rip them to pieces!

(army yelling)

♪ ♪

(whimpers, yells)

(grunting, whimpering)

Oh, hey, Spike.

Luigi?

(army yelling)

♪ ♪

(gasps)

No!

Mamma mia.

(grunting and groaning)

(screaming)

(whooshing)

(Bowser screaming)

(explosive whooshing)

(Bowser groaning)

(panting)

(groans)

Peaches. (chuckles)

Uh, listen, this is not the way I pictured it,

but give me one more chance.

Ew, no.

No, no, no, no, n… (swallows)

(high-pitched): Hey! Hey!

That is not cool!

Ha! He got the blue mushroom!

Eh? I told you I’d get you a pet turtle.

(chuckles) Not bad, Mustache.

And, Luigi, you’re so brave.

Oh. Thanks, uh…

Yeah, it’s kind of my thing.

Oh, my boys, my heroes!

Woo-hoo!

Mario, you were amazing. (laughs)

Thanks, Dad.

Ah, bring it in!

(grunting)

(people cheering, whistling)

Let’s hear it for the Super Mario Brothers!

(cheering continues)

♪ ♪

These are my boys.

(laughs): H-Hey!

(chuckles)

(cheering, whooping)

(laughing)

Yes!

(alarm blaring)

(“Mr. Blue Sky” by Electric Light Orchestra playing)

(groaning)

♪ Sun is shining in the sky ♪

♪ There ain’t a cloud in sight ♪

♪ It’s stopped raining ♪

♪ Everybody’s in the play ♪

♪ And don’t you know, it’s a beautiful new day ♪

♪ Hey. ♪

Morning.

Hello.

♪ ♪

(laughing)

(both whooping, laughing)

Woo-hoo!

(laughing)

(warbling)

Now, that’s a happy ending.

Or is it?

Because everything’s over now,

and all that’s left is you and the infinite void.

Kind of makes you want to play saxophone, huh?

(playing jazzy rendition of Super Mario Bros. theme)

(orchestral version of theme playing)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(thunder crashes)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(piano playing gentle melody)

♪ Mario, Luigi and Donkey Kong, too ♪

♪ A thousand troops of Koopas couldn’t keep me from you ♪

♪ Princess Peach ♪

♪ At the end of the line ♪

♪ I’ll make you mine ♪

♪ Oh, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches ♪

♪ Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ Oh… ♪

Hey. Quiet in there.

Lights out, little guy.

(high-pitched): Hey! You can’t treat me like this.

Do you know who I am?

I am Bow…

(door slams)

(Bowser sighs)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(metallic creaking)

(steam hissing)

(crackling)

YOSHI: Yoshi!

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Monkey Man (2024)

Monkey Man (2024) | Transcript

An anonymous young man unleashes a campaign of vengeance against the corrupt leaders who murdered his mother and continue to systemically victimize the poor and powerless.

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