[rousing orchestral music playing]
[rousing orchestral music continues playing]
[mysterious music playing]
[people chattering]
[docent] The lore tells us of a valiant few who stood above the fray and fog.
My, what weapons they must have wielded.
Which brings us to our current exhibit, the mythical staff of the gods.
In Homer’s tale, the staff was said to harness the gift of all gods.
Oh. [chuckles] Welcome, proud soldiers.
What did I say?
Museums are fun.
Amusement parks for the brains. [laughs]
Whoa!
[docent] Okay, there’s no reason to get pushy.
Everyone will get a chance to see it.
Carved from a heartwood not seen in over 2,000 years, the two halves of this ancient replica were recently discovered in, of all places, a waste processing plant outside of Philadelphia.
So strong, they reportedly broke three trash compactors.
[thuds]
Okay, um, friends, that’s enough.
I’m, I’m sort of the star of the show here… [gasps]
Stop!
[people murmuring]
Stop! Sir!
Sir!
[people screaming]
[man 1] Hey!
Hey, what are you doing?
[people chattering]
[ominous music playing]
[gasps]
[crackling]
[gasps]
[dramatic music playing]
[crackling]
[gasps]
[whispering in other language] Unleash the chaos.
[grunts]
[sighs]
[both grunting]
Unleash the chaos.
[gasps]
Unleash the chaos.
[growls]
[roars]
[people screaming]
[alarm blaring]
[people clamoring]
[people grunting]
[man 2 in English] Wait, wait. Move, move, move!
No, no!
[man 3] Help me!
[grunts]
[ringing]
[people screaming]
[man groans]
No! [panting]
Ladies, please just let me go.
[speaking other language]
[man 5 in English] Oh, my God! Look out!
[people coughing]
[people clamoring]
[dramatic music playing]
Turns out museums are fun.
Let’s have more of it.
We can do nothing while the staff remains sundered.
The champions of this realm outnumber us.
Human champions are still humans and we are gods.
Do not underestimate the judgement of the wizard.
To protect the power of the gods, he will have chosen with meticulous precision
the strongest, most keenly intelligent champions this realm has ever witnessed.
I’m an idiot.
I don’t deserve these powers, if I’m being honest.
Like, what am I even contributing?
There’s already a superhero with a red suit, with a lightning bolt on it and I’m fast, but he’s faster.
Aquaman is literally huge, and he’s so manly and Batman is so cool!
And I’m just me.
And I can’t say this to anyone else, ’cause my family looks to me as a leader, but I feel like a fraud.
You understand I’m a… pediatrician,
right?
I mean, yeah, well, you were recommended by another patient, Billy Batson.
It doesn’t matter.
Can you help fix my thoughts so that they just, like, you know, stop happening?
All right, look.
And, again, pediatrician, not a psychiatrist, but it sounds to me like you’re experiencing imposter syndrome.
And often, that originates from trauma early in life, so if you don’t mind me asking, how well do you remember your childhood?
Like it was today. [chuckles]
Trauma? Uh, I don’t know.
I mean, I never met my dad.
Uh, my mom abandoned me at a Christmas carnival.
I spent a lot of time in the foster system, ran away from 11 homes, got into a lot of fights.
Then I was abducted by a wizard who gave me superpowers and then dude just, like, died in front of my face.
That’s not a small amount.
A doctor conjured seven demons and held my whole family hostage, so we had to rip out one of his eyeballs, and then everybody got superpowers, but now everyone’s kind of, like, doing their own thing and I’m the only one trying to keep everybody together.
Okay, okay. Well, let’s just process that.
Right? Rejected by your parents, then by the system, and now rejected by a city you try to protect.
I never said I was rejected by my city.
“Rejected by city.”
That’s the Tribune. Nobody reads the Tribune.
I do.
Anyway, okay, well, um… I, uh, appreciate your help, but I got some real problems.
There’s this terrorist hostage situation going on, so…
Hostage situation?
Yeah.
[door closes]
[guns firing]
[shouting in video game]
I suck balls at this.
[guns firing in video game]
Why do we always have to play war games?
Hey, it’s practice for our other job.
[scoffs]
I’m serious.
Military strategy, multiple team members,
each with a special skillset
unleashed against an unknown enemy.
[Victor] I know how it sounds,
but the house keeps getting struck by lightning, Leo.
I’m telling you.
Besides, you’re the one always talking about teamwork.
But we don’t need guns!
[gasps]
[Mary] Darla?
[Freddy] This is it. This is big time.
We are the guns.
[Mary] Darla!
Why were there Skittles in my pockets?
It was supposed to be a surprise.
It was.
Hmm, she’s very moody lately.
Why do you think I put Skittles in her pocket?
Oh.
[Rosa] Whoo! Ole.
[Victor] Is this an army of unicorns
killing Genghis Khan?
Yes.
Unicorns aren’t real.
It’s called speculative history, Eugene. Look it up.
[Eugene] Billy, you can’t just leave.
Your guy’s gonna die!
Whoo! [laughs]
[chattering on tv]
See?
Yes.
I told you you would get into it
if you gave it a chance.
Yeah, I’m really starting to see the appeal.
[Billy whispering] What’s going on?
[Freddy sighs]
[grunts]
Dude, what are you doing?
[officer on headphones] Possible 10-99 in progress.
Multiple reports of cracking on roadway.
Fraying suspension cables.
All units to the Ben Franklin Bridge.
Yeah. It’s crazy music, Freddy.
It is, isn’t it? Very urgent melody to it.
We should see it performed live.
I was thinking the same thing.
I feel like we can get tickets to that concert.
Two. Maybe not six.
All or none. That’s the rule.
Yet I’m still gonna walk backwards now.
So, now’s your last and final chance.
Billy Batson, come with me.
No, no, no!
Man, it sure is a beautiful day in Philadelphia!
[sighs] Is it though?
Almost finished.
Again?
Okay.
[Mary] This better be good.
[Eugene sighs]
Whoa, whoa! Where’s everyone going?
[Freddy clears throat]
Um…
To fight crime?
Okay.
Bye, Mom.
Bye, Mom.
Bye.
Bye, Rosa.
[door closes]
Give it time.
[intriguing music playing]
You guys ready?
[all] Shazam!
[dramatic music playing]
[people chattering]
[siren wailing]
[man 1 grunting]
Oh, my God.
[bridge creaking]
It’s gonna break!
Run!
[people clamoring]
[“Holding Out for a Hero” playing on radio]
[singing along] ♪ I need a hero ♪
♪ I’m holding out for a hero Till the end of the night ♪
♪ He’s… ♪
[bridge clanking]
[music continues playing on radio]
[ominous music playing]
[people screaming]
[man grunts]
[woman whimpering]
[gasps]
[gasping]
[whimpering]
[tires screech]
[whimpering]
[“Holding Out for a Hero” playing on radio]
No, no, no.
[woman screaming]
No way, shut up! Did I just save you
while you were listening to this song?
[screams]
No! I got you, I got you.
[music continues playing]
No need to panic. Captain Everypower is here.
Oh.
[grunting]
[yelling]
I’m just kidding, it’s real easy.
[grunts]
[people shouting]
Hi!
[gasps]
Oh, my gosh. Kittens!
Oh! They’re so cute! [gasps]
Did she just leave us?
Okay, let’s go.
[superheroes whooshing]
[grunting]
[sighs]
[woman screams]
[grunts]
[grunting]
Okay.
No, no, no, I got ya!
That’s my sidekick. Captain Everypower Junior.
Hey! Junior?
You’re gonna wanna hold on tight.
[people chattering]
[siren wailing]
[intriguing music playing]
Everyone’s safe.
Awesome job, Mary.
Circle up, fam!
[heroic music playing]
All right, here’s the situation.
We have one more job to do
and that’s to keep this bridge from collapsing.
[reporter] The Ben Franklin Bridge has collapsed.
Fortunately, there are no casualties.
Thanks in part to our local heroes,
one with me now.
It’s great to be here, Nancy.
What can I say? It’s all in a day’s work.
Right. Well, how do you feel about being dubbed
the Philadelphia Fiascoes?
Given that that’s not an official title,
we feel nothing about it. That is not our name.
[Shazam] Right, but the important thing is…
What is wrong with these people?
Have you ever no…
I’m gonna go check on the kids.
[Freddy] Yeah, you should. God only knows what they’re up to.
Probably drugs, right? Probably taking selfies
while vaping on TikTok.
[Victor] Oh.
[kitten meowing]
Is that a kitten?
[purring]
No.
[machinery powers up]
[upbeat music playing]
I’m gonna name you Tawny.
[kitten purring]
[Shazam] “Destroy bridge”? What?
Not saving is different than breaking. Am I wrong?
Am I wrong about this? Also, we saved countless lives.
A hundred sixty-two. It’s countable.
Emotionally countless,
Mary.
Where’s Eugene?
Where he always is.
Mapping out the Room of Doors.
[mysterious music playing]
[Shazam] Eugene!
Hey, buddy! Where you at?
Hey, Eugene.
Hello? We have a meeting, Eugene.
[thudding]
[Eugene grunting]
[creature groans]
[Super Hero Eugene] Oh.
[groans]
You’re late.
Do not go in there.
All right, fam-jam, let’s jump in.
[fanfare music playing]
[chuckles, mutters]
[clears throat] All right, big day,
big bridge, kind of a couple blunders, right?
But we’re gonna meditate on those mistakes right now.
Mary?
Organic chem is my meditation.
[Shazam chuckles]
Said nobody with friends ever, really.
In point of fact, I’d have friends
if I had gone to college.
[Shazam] In point of fact is exactly the kind of
smart thing that a smart person
who doesn’t need to go to college says.
So,
let’s go back to the tape.
Now, guys, as you can see,
we started off real, real, real, real strong, right?
Right up top, all that cohesiveness, energy,
terrific!
[cell phone ringing]
Oh, sorry, Coach. Gotta fly IRL.
No, no, no, I’m not done with the presentation.
I know. And I love these daily recaps.
I just gotta spread my wings a bit before dinner.
It helps keep me loose!
Okay, fine, fine. No recap.
We’ll go have a group hang in the air. That sounds great.
I gotta test this slime for toxicity
’cause I’m starting to… tingle.
Oh. The, uh, Phillies game just came on
so I’m gonna go ahead and, uh, watch baseball.
It’s right that I give Tawny back.
[Shazam] Oh, come on! What is happening?
What is happening right now? All or none, guys!
If you say you have to work…
I have to work.
[sighs, chuckles] Why do you even have a job?
Wonder Woman doesn’t have a job!
Stop.
No, seriously.
Do you think she wears a ponytail and glasses
and, like, nobody recognizes her
and she’s, like, an accountant or something?
Just stop. You are holding on too tight.
Just ’cause Freddy wants to fly solo for ten minutes
doesn’t mean he’s gonna leave you like your mom.
Or me wanting to go to college
means I’m abandoning the family.
Oh. Okay, cool,
it’s about college again. I totally get it.
Yeah.
Do you really not see yourself?
[sighs]
You turn 18 in five months.
They’re not gonna kick me out. They didn’t kick you out.
Victor and Rosa are saints, yes, but you’re about to age out
of the foster system just like I did.
Yeah, I get it. I know how it works, okay?
Do you?
Victor and Rosa can barely pay rent.
And the state no longer sends checks to feed or house me
and soon there will be no checks for you.
I don’t care if Wonder Woman has a job.
I want to contribute.
At some point, Billy, like
everyone on Earth, we have to get a job or…
leave home.
Nothing lasts forever.
[door opens, closes]
I mean, it’s literally called the Rock of Eternity.
So, clearly, some things do last forever.
[ominous music playing]
[wind blowing]
[footsteps approaching]
[man] Leave me to die.
Oh, but we come bearing gifts.
[magic resonating]
Magic.
Impossible.
This realm was sealed off from magic.
Yes. After you ripped it from our father’s very core.
From every god in this realm.
From me.
[bar sizzling]
Do you not remember what you took?
What my particular power was?
The power of elements.
No. I cast a barrier to prevent your kind
from entering the human realm.
The only way that barrier could be removed is if…
Someone broke this?
How did…
Where is the Champion?
It was your hands that forged this staff for our father
and yours that will mend it.
I told you I would die before I help you.
[grunting]
[groaning]
Now, say the word.
Never. Never!
Never say never.
Say the word.
[magical voices echoing]
[magical voices] Say the word. Say the word.
Shazam!
[crackling]
[dramatic music playing]
[magic resonates]
[grunting]
[grunts]
[growls]
[grunts]
[screams]
[grunting]
Now we get to have our fun.
Fun is for children, dear. We are at war.
[upbeat music playing]
[school bell rings]
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my goodness.
I am so sorry!
I’m so sorry!
No, don’t be sorry. I’m sorry!
No, it’s totally my fault. Are you okay?
I’m okay, yeah.
Okay, yeah.
I’m always okay.
Good.
Uh, actually, do you… do you know where this is?
[voice cracks] Miss Saunders!
[clears throat] Yeah, absolutely
is what I meant to say. Voice crack. It’s weird.
Oh, no, no worries. If it makes you feel any better
it’s nothing compared to the amount
that you’re blushing right now.
Oh, I blush when I’m confident.
[chuckles]
[Brett] There she is.
Hey.
New girl. First period.
[Anne] Yeah.
I’m Brett. This is Burke.
Listen, if you need anything at all,
we’re your guys. We got it.
[Freddy] Brett and Burke Breyer.
They got it all. I mean, what is it, narcissistic personality disorder,
chlamydia, they got it.
[chuckles]
Plenty of it to go around, too.
This is Thundercrack’s Make-A-Wish kid.
Fanboy here thinks he’s a big boy now.
Yeah, he doesn’t know where he belongs.
Sure I do. I don’t belong in that trash can.
‘Cause that’s… I’ll smell like human garbage,
do you realize that? And that’s your brand, guys!
[grunting]
[Brett] Down goes Freeman.
Hey, hey! Look!
Now I’m a superhero.
Nice!
[clearing throat]
What is this thing doing here?
Janitors.
[groaning]
[Brett] Get up, man. What are you doin’?
Come on.
[Freddy grunts]
You’re gonna want to get this fixed, huh?
Yeah, that’s probably why you fell.
[Burke] Yeah. [Brett] Bye, new girl.
Jeez, thanks Mr. Geckle.
Don’t sweat it. That trash can
was like a second home to me when I went here.
[Freddy chuckles]
Hey.
You knew those guys were gonna hit you,
but you stepped in anyway.
You know something? That’s how I amuse myself.
The funnier I am,
[grunts] the more I get punched.
[both chuckling]
Well, it made me laugh.
So…
[chuckles]
Hero.
[mouthing]
You gonna walk me to class, or what?
Why would I… Walk you to class? No.
Why would I wanna do that? Yes!
Thanks. [chuckles]
So, from the top.
What is Thundercrack’s Make-A-Wish kid?
Yeah. Um, it’s real inside baseball, but basically,
a while ago I happened to have some lunch
in the cafeteria with a few superheroes.
Wait, the kid who’s friends with superheroes.
That was you?
Yeah.
And they’re still dicks to you?
Sadly, just ’cause you know someone cool,
doesn’t really necessarily make you cool.
You seem pretty cool to me.
[loudly] Freddy!
Is my name.
Sorry, that was weird and loud. I’m Freddy,
he said in a normal voice.
I’m Anne.
Anne.
[grunts]
[chuckles]
Nice!
Bullseye.
Hey, you gotta fix that crutch, bro!
[chuckles]
What?
[sighs]
[chuckles lightly]
[wizard gasping]
[unsettling music playing]
[grunts]
[groans]
[speaking other language]
[in English] Good, little one. Well done.
Now go find me the one responsible for this.
[captivating music playing]
[cork pops]
Wow. Um… [chuckles]
I’m flattered that you feel this way.
Truly, I mean, you know, like, look at all this, you know…
Romantic setting
and fancy champagne, big plates, tiny food.
I mean, you went all out.
I love that, I, I, I, I do.
I’m just not sure
that I’m really ready to commit right now, you know.
Wait, wait, wait. No, this isn’t about you.
I promise this is not about you. Okay? Look… [chuckles]
I know the whole world wants to see this happen.
You and me.
The dynamic duo. The hottie goddies. [chuckles]
She-zam.
I guess I’m just afraid that I’m…
gonna let ’em all down. You know?
That I’m gonna let you down.
You know what? Screw it. Let’s try.
Let’s try this crazy thing.
Maybe we’ll, uh…
seal it with a kiss?
[sentimental piano music playing]
Billy Batson!
[Shazam screams]
You are a fool of a champion.
What the hell… What the hell is going on?
What happened to her beautiful face?
Also, aren’t you, like, dead-ass dead?
I bring a warning from beyond your realm.
The daughters of Atlas are coming for you.
Daughters of Atlas?
They’re coming to unmake your world
and torture mankind for all eternity
in the Pit of Endless Agony.
Okay, I feel like maybe
I should be writing all this down.
Quiet!
Okay, okay.
You don’t know what you’ve done.
I regret ever choosing you.
Because of you,
the barrier between the world has been brought down.
They will be hunting for you now.
Hunting your family.
[Shazam] Hmm?
Oh, they’re coming. Listen to me, Billy.
The fate of your world depends on it.
One thing you absolutely must not allow
the daughters of Atlas to do is…
[screams]
[gasps]
[breathing heavily]
[mysterious music playing]
[crackling]
[shatters]
[gasps]
Hey, Freddy?
[dog barking in distance]
[crickets chirping]
[sighs]
[Freddy] Nope, over it. Done it.
Check fraud? What, are you kidding me? [gasps]
Armored car heist?
[chuckles] I think I got that in the bag.
[rock music playing]
Shazam!
[lightning cracks]
Whoo!
[Freddy scoffs]
Bon appetit.
Hi.
Oh, hi! Yes, I mean, hi.
Hi. [chuckles]
Um, you wanna show me
where you were sitting when it happened?
Oh, yeah, of course. Totally.
Yeah. Follow me.
Okay, yeah.
So, basically, it’s a table down at the end.
[people chattering]
So I was sitting, yeah…
Basically, I was sitting right here, and he was sitting
right there.
Here? [chuckles]
Right there, yeah.
[cell phone vibrates, chimes]
Oh, sorry. Overbearing brother.
Oh, I have one of those. Uh, a sister.
Always has to know where I am.
Right.
[cell phone chiming]
I feel that, clearly.
[chuckles]
Always thinks she knows better, too.
Even when it’s been factually proven otherwise?
Exactly. And it’s not that I don’t love her.
No, of course. It’d just be nice not to have someone…
Constantly breathing down your neck.
From the moment you wake up!
‘Cause I’m not a kid anymore.
No! I’m a month younger, one month exactly.
And do we have to do every single thing together?
[both] No!
[both chuckle]
[footsteps approaching]
Oh! Billy! What…
What a coinkidink! Um…
I was just telling my friend Anne
what a great guy you are.
We need to talk.
We need to talk. This guy loves to talk.
He’s a great talker.
Freddy.
I have to talk to him. I’ll be right back. -Okay.
Wait, didn’t you tell us the wizard disintegrated?
The skin peeled off his face.
He turned into a literal pile of ash.
Yeah, seems definitive.
I dunno.
Yeah. Except now he’s in my dreams
and, Freddy, he’s trying to give me a message.
[snaps fingers] Could be astral projection powers.
What’s that?
Obi-Wan Kenobi-ing you
from the great beyond?
That’s it, I’m calling
an emergency meeting after school.
I want you there.
Where else am I gonna go?
What?
Dude.
[Freddy reading indistinctly]
Okay, first of all, I didn’t explode it!
All right? It was already like that and, and, and…
What is that, the Tribune? It’s fake news!
Freddy, we only have one rule.
[both] All or none.
And it’s a stupid rule, by the way.
I have a girl talking to me, Billy.
A girl. For the first time in my life!
And I probably don’t have a shot in hell with this girl,
but I’ll never find out
if you keep trying to control everything I wanna do!
Just be at the Rock, Freddy.
[sighs] Okay. Mmm.
By the way, uh, she has a sister.
Total control freak.
I think you guys would get along.
Think you’d love her, actually.
[Shazam] Look, look, look. Fam,
I know it sounds crazy.
And, and obviously I don’t know
exactly what this all means
but, but he was super aggro
and super loud and he was trying to warn us, I think.
He was yelling about all this
wizard-y mumbo-jumbo about realms and stuff.
Do you have to talk so loud?
Yeah, Mary, ’cause this is not that loud.
I think this is a perfectly acceptable indoor voice volume.
What is the deal? Are you okay?
Yeah.
Why do you have sunglasses on?
Did you go to the eye doctor this morning?
[snorts]
[Shazam chuckles]
I dunno, it looks to me like Mary did go to the eye doctor,
but it was last night, and she had a lot of fun.
In point of fact, I did have a great time.
I met other people my age and I enjoyed myself.
You made friends at the eye doctor?
No, she…
Yeah, can we get back on track?
Listen, he’s yelling at me
and he’s saying the daughters of Atlas
are coming to hunt us.
So, check out what I found.
“The daughters of Atlas are the offspring
of the Titan Atlas…”
which is obvious,
but also Nyx, the Goddess of Night and Death.
Well, good things can happen at night.
And death.
[sighs]
Let me see this.
[intriguing music playing]
“The daughters guard the mythic Tree of Life
which grows golden apples that contain the seeds of life
which gave birth to their realm
protected by a…
dragon.”
Hey, now.
And I am suddenly here for this.
I know, right?
‘Cause, like, on one hand, totally terrifying.
On the other hand, dragon!
Dragon!
Mary. What are we doin’?
I don’t know, man. This is your meeting.
Right, yes, fine, but we all need to be on the same page
and, and, and look,
I often think that you think better than me.
The wizard did not exactly give me a tutorial here, guys, okay?
Like, I don’t know how a lot of this stuff works.
That, that room of doors, or that violin
that is, like, constantly burning which is super weird but also
definitely keeps the lair cozy, right?
He didn’t even tell me my superhero name.
And it’s not like I’m not tryin’.
But I really, really need your help.
Uh, I might know somebody that can help.
Shut up. That lights up?
[rumbling]
Shut up.
[enchanting music playing]
So, I’m mapping out the entire lair
and you withhold this?
[Shazam] And you have really been holding out on us.
Jeez Louise, dude.
Whoa!
[Shazam] “Whoa” what?
“Whoa” what?
[superhero Darla] Look!
[superhero Darla chuckles]
Hey, Steve.
[chuckles] What? You call the pen “Steve”?
Yeah, I thought he looked like a “Steve.”
[superhero Darla] He totally looks like a “Steve.”
“‘Crime and Punishment, ‘ a book report by Pedro Pena?” -Yeah.
[Shazam laughs]
Pedro.
Dude, that’s cheating.
I mean, he knows everything.
Hmm.
Seriously. Ask him.
You can just ask him stuff?
Pretty much.
[Shazam] Slick. Okay, cool.
Steve, we’re looking for information
about the daughters of Atlas.
Can you please help us with that?
These are book titles.
[Shazam] Okay.
Let’s just all pick a book, or something.
Where’s Freddy? I mean, obscure mythology?
Definitely his thing.
I’m not even sure Freddy knows what his thing is anymore.
[people chattering]
You know I’ve actually never, never been up here.
Don’t lie. [chuckles] This is where you hang out
with your superhero friends, isn’t it?
No, actually, why would they ever have to… Why would they ever come here?
I mean they have, yes, they’ve driven by…
Do you actually know those guys?
Or is this like a “Canadian girlfriend” situation?
Oh, you mean Collette? Well, she and I
aren’t really exclusive, as of now.
[chuckles]
Do you wanna meet one of them?
Meet, like how?
Like, face-to-face, right now.
I’m gonna take that as a yes.
And today is your lucky day,
because I’m gonna call the hot one.
Her?
No, the male hot one.
Him?
What? Him?
Look, I mean, it’s all subjective, right? But, um…
Captain Everypower usually tops most online polls
so… It’s no big deal.
Is this a joke, Freddy?
‘Cause I didn’t mean to make you actually prove it, really.
No, it’s not a joke. And I’m gonna
call him right now. I’m gonna call him right now.
So, don’t move. So, stay right there.
Hey, Captain Everypower. What’s goin’ on?
It’s your boy Freddy. Yeah.
Remember that time I saved your life?
No, no, no, the other time.
Yeah.
Well, I’m calling in that favor.
[lightning cracks]
[heroic music plays]
You must be Anne.
[gasps] Oh, my God.
Friend of Freddy’s, I hear.
I am, actually. Yeah. How are you…
[sighs] You know, I may be the one with the superpowers,
but that kid,
he’s the real hero.
Yeah. I mean, honestly,
I’ve never met anyone like him.
He’s… genuine
and warm and funny. [chuckles]
That’s a lot of nice things.
Yeah.
How did you two meet?
Comic Con.
What’s Comic Con?
What?
[superhero Mary] According to this,
gods considered humans servants,
toys to be played with,
children to be punished.
[chuckles] Thanks, Steve.
Until the rebellion when the humans turned on the gods.
I’m reading about that right now.
So, apparently, all of this
revolves around a powerful weapon.
So Atlas, uh, the father
of the daughters of Atlas, obviously, yeah,
he crafted a quarterstaff from the Tree of Life
and he used that staff to give powers to certain deities
but also to take powers away from others.
So, the staff’s where Atlas stored all supernatural power.
Yes, exactly. It’s like a, a battery for magic.
But when things got bad,
a council of human wizards got together and they
stole the staff from Atlas.
And they used that to take his powers away.
And once they had his magic they went after other gods…
Guys, that’s the wizard! I know this guy,
this is the wizard that I know!
What do these say?
“The Wisdom of Solomon,
Strength of Hercules, Stamina of Atlas,
Power of Zeus, Courage of Achilles,
Speed of Mercury.” These are the powers they stole.
No.
Whoa, guys, look!
This is what the name means.
Which is way cooler than what I thought it was,
which is just a bunch of hot garbage, so.
If I may point out one of the powers that may be possibly MIA.
Boop.
[Shazam] I’m sorry,
are you very unsubtly implying
that I somehow lack the wisdom of
Solo Man?
Yeah.
Well, maybe it comes later.
I mean you do usually ask Mary what to do.
I’m just saying.
Yeah.
This is very, very hurtful.
I just want you all to know that.
And it’s pronounced “Solomon.”
Oh.
[Shazam clears throat]
What else have we learned, fam?
Well, once the staff contained the powers of the gods,
the wizards apparently encased the God Realm in some
magical sphere
sealing it away forever.
Cut off from magic.
Oh, so that’s what that was about.
Yeah, I don’t think that they are so cut off anymore.
A bizarre and gruesome scene unfolded
in Athens, Greece this morning.
Two women dressed in what appears to be ancient Greek…
Whoa, whoa, whoa, that’s the wizard’s staff. How did they get that?
So, all those statues used to be people.
I’m wondering, how did the staff end up in Europe,
where Greece is at?
Oh, gee-whiz, mister, sorry I took your cane.
You want it back?
I mean, I did break it in half and then throw it away.
So, that’s probably where the journey started.
You know?
What?
What do you mean, “What?” What?
You just left it there?
We were all there.
Guys, I had a staff. I gave you all superpowers.
You’re welcome, by the way.
And then I had to break it in half so Sivana didn’t do
super bad-guy stuff with it, okay?
You broke the staff,
meaning you broke the barrier between worlds.
Which we now know.
We also now know what they look like,
so when they come to hunt us, we’ll see those two
coming a…
Three.
What?
Atlas had three daughters.
Kalypso, Hespera,
Anthea.
Anne… thea.
You know, I’m not just a superhero.
I’m a super listener.
And…
I sense…
that you may have feelings for Freddy.
Just wanna know when he’s coming back.
Don’t want him to get hurt.
Oh, well, Anne… [sighs] I mean, we can’t choose
the people we fall for.
What?
I’m not talking about that.
If he shows up now, he’s in serious danger.
Whoa! Look who you’re with.
What could possibly be dangerous?
Us.
Okay.
I see how it is.
Let’s dance.
[groaning]
Oh, my God.
Freddy?
Ow!
Oh, Freddy, I, I didn’t know.
I never meant for you to get hurt.
Oh, I’m not the one who’s gonna get hurt.
Shazam!
Shazam!
Shazam.
What’s going on up here?
[Freddy] Mis…
Freddy, are you all right?
Get back inside. Just get back inside, Mr. Geckle.
I’m okay. Go back inside.
Who are you? Do you have kids here?
What are you doing? Don’t hurt him.
I won’t touch him. You have my word.
[whispering in other language]
[skin squelching]
[magical voices whispering]
[in English] Mr. G. Wha…
What did she say? What are you doing?
What are you doing?
What are you… no, no, no!
Stop, stop, stop! Wait, wait, wait! Hey, no, no, no!
Wait, no, no, no!
[screaming]
[body thuds]
I forgot how easily they burst.
Why would you do that?
Like grapes.
[sobs]
[magic resonates]
What the… Huh?
[Freddy yelping]
[gasps]
Now, child, tell us where to find the others.
No need.
[dramatic music playing]
[Freddy yelps, grunts]
Clip his wings, Anthea.
[magic trilling]
[Shazam grunting]
[grunting]
[chuckling]
Ow.
Wait.
There are more.
[exclaims]
[heroic music playing]
Perfect. We take them all.
No.
That’s not why we’re here.
We’re here for the seed of life. Yield, sister.
We stick to the plan we have.
Father would never yield.
And Father is dead.
Now, you know your place, sister.
Or I will show it to you.
We do this our way, not theirs.
[Shazam grunts]
[Hespera] Make one move…
[magic resonates]
[screaming]
[choking]
And I will snap this child’s neck.
[choking]
[dramatic music playing]
Oh, Freddy.
[Freddy grunts]
[Shazam grunts]
Billy, no!
[speaking in other language]
[magic resonating]
[Freddy in English] Billy, stay back!
They’re using the staff to take our powers.
[grunts, gasps]
What? What? [gasps]
[grunting]
[grunting]
[crackling]
[yells]
Sorry!
[Freddy] I’m sorry,
I’m sorry, just, just save yourself.
No, no, all or none. We stick together.
And that you will because you cannot leave.
Let’s see how you like being sealed off in a dying world.
[Freddy] No!
No!
Freddy!
[news anchor] From City Line Avenue in the north
to the western shore of the Schuylkill River
to Cobbs Creek.
The unidentified barrier appears
to be in the shape of a dome
with no one allowed into the city or out
with some suggesting this strange magical element
may be the doing, or undoing, of the Philadelphia Fiascoes.
[ominous music playing]
[yelps]
[breathing shakily]
Holy sh…
[wizard] Shh!
[gasps]
[wizard] I’m trying to sleep.
It is the only escape from the tortures here.
Okay. Bleak.
Wait a second.
Hagrid beard, Batman voice.
You’re the wizard. You’re the wizard! Oh, my…
You’re back! Billy told me all about you.
Billy? You know Billy Batson?
Billy Batson. Yeah, he’s my best friend.
I’m… I’m Freddy Freeman, Captain Everypower.
Well, used to be. It’s complicated now.
She… It’s complicated.
That halfwit Billy gave you the powers of Shazam?
Yeah, he did. And he said that you turned into ash, but, but didn’t?
[grunts]
Once I gave him the power,
I could no longer remain in my realm.
But death would have been a luxury
compared to being trapped in this cell
with the knowledge of my failure, and with you.
Mostly with you.
A little more sarcastic than Billy said,
but, hey, all good.
Let’s just get out of here.
“Let’s just get out of here.”
Yeah, sure.
I sound nothing like that, but okay.
Here’s what we’ve got, um…
A cranky wizard with a cynical streak
and a precocious young man with an encyclopedic knowledge regarding magical shit.
There is no way these sisters are keeping us in here.
These prison bars, they’re probably enchanted!
What spells do you know?
Please, stop talking.
How about an arcane focus?
I don’t even know what that is.
[groans]
Fine, then let’s make a potion.
Like a potion of, um, giant strength or diminution.
Oh! Gaseous form!
Yeah! Maybe we could float out of here like a fart.
I gave my powers to children who squandered it.
We will die here, Freeby.
It’s Freddy, by the way. “Freeby”? Where do you even…
The sooner you accept it,
the easier it will be.
Is this a tooth? There’s a tooth in here!
Hmm.
[foreboding music playing]
[superhero Mary] “Power of elements. Power of chaos.
Power of axis.”
These are primordial forces.
I don’t know how we fight powers like this.
I tell you how we fight it.
With the wisdom of…
Solomon.
Exactly.
We, we set up a meeting.
Yeah, we tell ’em we want to negotiate.
Offer up our powers for Freddy.
But then we grab one of them
and that’s what we really use to trade!
But what if they steal our powers?
No, they won’t, ’cause we know how they work now.
You know what I mean? If they just point that staff at us, we dodge.
[imitates whooshing sounds] Like dodgeball.
Hmm.
Dude, I suck at dodgeball.
Well, maybe Pedro sucks at dodgeball,
but not Super Pedro.
No, Super Pedro also sucks at dodgeball.
Fine. Listen, all I know is that there’s five of us and three of them.
So I think we should send them a little invitation.
Okay.
So, Steve says that this paper
is a stack of magical parchment.
You write a message on the magical paper
and say the name of the god that you would like to talk to
and then the paper folds into a…
[gasps] Oh, my God, yes!
A paper bird.
And it flies to the god.
[Super Hero Eugene] Well, that’s kinda cute.
Hey, what about demigods? Uh, you know, like, Wonder Woman?
Do you think she’s accepting bird letters right now?
Did the pen just shrug?
Hey, Steve, do I just dictate to…
I do. Okay, cool, wad that up.
All right. [clears throat]
Letter…
Letter, writing a letter. No, no, no!
I was just talking out loud.
That’s not a part of the letter. Wad that up, too.
[superhero Darla] Maybe if you try
speaking from the heart.
Hmm.
“Dear daughters of Atlas,
violence is not the answer.”
[foreboding music playing]
[Freddy grunting]
[soldier growls]
[Freddy grunts]
[Hespera] Child,
I will spare your life if you’re honest with me.
Honesty.
Yeah, wow, very, um, ironic subject choice.
The other Champions…
are they children like yourself?
What even is a child?
I mean, I know I shave, like, every week-ish.
Yes or no?
No. Your answer is no because nobody’s stupid enough
to grant primordial god-like powers to a bunch of kids.
Give us their names.
The names of the Champions?
Um, well, there’s Brett Breyer, and, uh, Burke Breyer.
Are you guys taking this stuff in?
Writing this down? No?
They drive a Dodge Ram.
He’s lying.
That’s your superpower, not mine.
And she thinks you’re a total control freak.
One of you.
Probably you.
[gasps]
Hold him.
[soldier growls]
[Freddy] Don’t… [grunts] What’s happening?
What is that? What’s she doing?
Power of chaos.
It enters a man’s mind and shatters it whole.
Oh. [chuckles] My mind is already trash,
so I’d actually like to see you try.
Because nobody has the balls
to handle what’s inside my brain.
[whispering] Say their names.
[magical voices whispering]
[gasping]
[screaming]
Say their names.
[magical voices] Say their names.
[screaming continues]
Destiny’s Child did it better.
He is stronger than he looks.
[Freddy screaming]
Say their names.
Stop!
[hesitating] Billy…
Billy Bats…
Billy B…
Stop.
[breathing shakily]
This is from the Champions.
“Dear daughters of Atlas,
violence is not the answer.
Oh, good first sentence. Thanks, Darla.
We’d like to make a trade.
What?
We’ll give up our powers
if you give us Freddy, add ‘unharmed.’
Otherwise, they’re gonna monkey’s-paw you.
Smart, Eugene.
Steve, add ‘unharmed’
then, like, ‘yours, trul…’
No, ‘Sincerely, best’.
Maybe just signed ‘The Champions.’
Should we proofread it?
Naw, Steve doesn’t make mistakes,
just writes what you say.
Great. I feel good about this. Me, too.
Anyone else want a Gatorade?
Do we have red?”
What is this Gatorade?
[dramatic music playing]
[yelps]
Is it a weapon?
Sister.
We need not torture him any longer. You heard the letter.
[grunting]
Throw them in the pit.
[Anthea] Wait.
They want to make a trade.
And we will meet, sister.
But humans are not to be trusted.
The pit is just a bad name for a fun place, right?
Right? [grunts]
[wizard and Freddy screaming]
[wizard groans]
[Freddy coughing]
[both grunting]
Are you hurt?
No, just worthless.
Well, you must get up.
For what?
All this pretending to be a superhero is just…
a way for me to pretend I’m not broken.
Oh, feelings.
[rumbling]
[grunting]
[unsettling music playing]
I see something moving.
Yeah, I see it, too.
[heavy footsteps approaching]
[Freddy breathing heavily]
[low growling]
[Freddy] Oh, shit.
What is that?
Ladon.
The guardian of the Garden of Atlas.
[Ladon growling]
[Freddy whimpering]
[roars]
Run.
I can’t. I can’t!
[roaring]
[Freddy screams]
[powers trilling]
[Freddy breathing shakily]
[screams]
You’re okay! You’re okay.
I don’t feel okay at all.
That’s the power of the dragon.
It emanates fear from every pore of its body.
Ladon’s fear paralyzes any mortal,
so that none can approach the garden it protects.
Power of axis. Very cool, very,
very rare.
[Hespera] Anthea!
[Anthea] I must go.
The door back to your world is at the center of the labyrinth.
Right, left, left
and then follow the right-hand wall to the center.
You’ll need this.
How did you find this?
You once protected me from the bullies
in your world, Freddy Freeman.
Now I’ve protected you in mine.
Hero.
[both chuckle]
Well, to be fair, I didn’t actually need your protection.
I was about to rearrange those boys’
internal organs when you stepped in.
But you didn’t know that, which does make you brave.
I was just brave because I knew I had powers.
No, the most powerful thing about you is you.
[clears throat] How lovely for both of you.
Goddess, we thank you much, but we must get…
You should go. My sisters don’t need you anymore.
All they require now is the seed.
The seed?
Yes.
Which remains hidden in a place unreachable
by any of their kind. Come, come, Jeff. Faster.
You call me Jeff? She just said my entire name!
[whimsical music playing]
[people chattering]
[Shazam] Hi, God… No?
Yo, Low Voltage.
When you fixing this dome shit, man?
Oh, no, no, no, don’t worry, sir.
[clicks tongue] I have a plan.
Really?
Uh-huh.
‘Cause look like all you got is a sandwich.
No, these sandwiches?
No, these sandwiches are important.
They’re, they’re for a meeting.
Yeah, sure, Colonel Cheesesteak. [scoffs]
Colonel?
Oh, boy, I really need a name.
[dramatic chord plays]
Quiet one, she is.
I find it the most effective way to slit an enemy’s throat.
[chuckles nervously]
Is that…
Oh, you’re totally serious. Okay.
Uh…
Right, so, look, here’s the thing, um, you’re upset.
A bunch of wizards came and stole your powers,
which totally sucks balls, I totally get it.
But, I kind of feel like you’re taking this all,
like, really personally and, like, I don’t even know you, lady, right?
If thieves stormed your home in the night
and stole all your coin and then fled,
you would naturally give chase, would you not?
And say, in this pursuit the thieves
dropped the money on the ground
and your neighbor picked it up and kept it.
Now, imagine it is not money,
but the lifeblood of your father.
The last breath of your mother.
The power of all the gods,
the magic of the entire realm that was stolen.
And now this magic courses through you,
and you have the gall
to believe that you deserve it?
This is very personal,
Billy.
You are very menacing.
I just want you to know that. Like, I really…
I see the presence that you have, and that goes a long way.
But today, I really wanted to talk about compromise.
[both] There is no compromise.
I knew you were gonna say that.
Wisdom of Saruman. Don’t mess with me, okay?
Give us back Freddy, you take down this
sphere-y dome-y magic bowl thing
and then, you know,
we won’t have to annihilate you into the ground.
[scoffs]
It’s a good offer.
I’m being serious.
You play the part of a man,
but you do not play it well.
Give us the powers, child.
All of them.
You are no leader, Billy.
You are a lost boy
who likes to make-believe that he’s a warrior.
Okay, look. I might not have as much experience as you
’cause I’m not, like, super old like you,
but I think I have a few experiences that you don’t have.
‘Cause I’ve seen all of the Fast and the Furious movies, lady.
And let me tell you something.
It’s all about family!
[music swells]
[music stops]
[birds cawing]
Family!
Guys, that was the signal. We practiced this, like, 12 times. Thank you.
Forgot all about my family, didn’t you, Goddess?
No, human. You forgot about mine.
[screams, grunts]
[dramatic music playing]
[Hespera grunts]
[Shazam grunting]
[man] Come on!
Let’s go.
Pedro!
[staff whirs]
[grunts]
[superhero Eugene quavering]
[both quavering]
[Shazam grunts]
[gasps]
[Shazam grunting]
[electricity crackling]
[groans]
You’re wasting my time, boy.
[powers resonate]
[both grunting]
[rumbling]
[women grunting]
[Shazam grunts]
Yeah.
[Shazam] Whoo!
She sure didn’t see that coming
because she didn’t go to the eye doctor. [chuckles]
[Shazam] Uh, Darla, that was, ’cause…
[rattling]
A euphemism. That was a euphemism.
[Shazam] No!
[women grunting]
[Shazam groans]
[Hespera] We’ve taken the power from two
in your family already.
And now two more must die, and for what?
So you can keep playing soldier?
[Shazam grunting]
[choking]
[groaning]
[groans]
[grunting]
[grunting]
My father was Atlas.
Titan god of stamina and strength.
His magic and power may course through you,
but you will never be a true god.
Oh, yeah? Did your dad have superspeed?
[both grunt]
[coughing]
Nope!
[both panting]
You okay? That was fun. Let’s go.
Come on. Come on, come on.
[Shazam] Hurry, everyone!
Let’s go, let’s go.
What?
[door closes]
[chain locks]
You thought you were just goin’
into some regular porta-potty, didn’t ya?
Which I can somehow still smell.
Yeah, yeah, it really sticks around. It’s crazy, right?
Yeah.
Like, permeates
the air. Doesn’t matter. Anyway,
welcome to the Rock of Eternity.
Only Champions
can get in here, through any door that we want.
Little thing that we can do that your sisters can’t.
Guys, that’s what I call a total success.
Okay, maybe, like, a partial total win.
Told you I suck at dodgeball.
[Shazam] Yeah,
you do, yeah, but you know,
look, Pedro, we all have our weak spots.
You know what I mean?
And hers… [chuckles]
lack of strategic thinking.
Now for the real trade.
Freddy and the staff, for your freedom.
[superhero Darla] And get rid of the dome.
[Shazam] Oh, yeah.
And get rid of the dome.
‘Cause the city of brotherly love
is gettin’ a little moist.
Word choice, man.
[Shazam] Yeah, I regretted it as soon as
it was coming out of my mouth.
[Super Hero Eugene] It’s just one of those words…
[Shazam] I know. I just…
“Dear daughters of Asshat-Las.”
Burn!
[chuckles]
I just came up with that.
Make sure you put a dash in there, though,
so it’s really clear. Okay.
[clears throat] Man, it’s so good having Steve cover grammar
and spelling and stuff, it makes me sound so much smarter.
[clears throat] So…
“A brother for a sister, huh?
How’s that feel?
Also, how are you actually sisters,
because the age difference is very noticeable,
and slightly upsetting, I’m not gonna lie.”
Even though I don’t like you very much,
I believe everyone deserves human rights,
but you don’t deserve strawberry.
You only get yellow. [gasps]
She’s gone!
Wait, what?
[dramatic music playing]
I thought we brought her in too easily.
She wanted to get caught.
I don’t get it. Where would she even go?
[clanking]
[door creaks]
Well, this seemed inevitable.
Yep. We are so lost. Thanks, bozo.
We are not lost. Who’s the wizard here?
I don’t know.
You don’t have any spells, no magical artifacts,
you know nothing about magic, you’re just…
You’re the wizard.
Thank you.
Whatever.
Now let’s see if that girlfriend of yours can be trusted.
[tense music playing]
[door unlocks]
[Freddy gasps]
Get back, get back. Get back.
[whispering in other language]
[Hespera gasps]
[in English] Okay, I think the coast is clear. Let’s go home.
One moment.
Did you not see what she was holding?
It was an apple. She wanted a snack.
What’s the big deal?
The golden apple. From the Tree of Life.
From the Tree of Life.
Oh, wait, hold up, didn’t you say that was somewhere safe?
Billy!
Billy. Gosh.
[wizard groans]
Where are you going now?
[inhales sharply]
[exhales] Nope.
She’s not in there.
Nope.
No, no, no. That’s a hard pass.
That’s a hard pass.
[Super Hero Eugene] Yo, Billy,
you don’t gotta worry about that one.
It’s just a labyrinth that doesn’t go anywhere.
[sniffs]
Like an ancient Greek
labyrinth?
[Shazam] Guys…
[sniffs] porta-potty.
[sniffs]
[Super Hero Eugene] Mmm.
Hespera.
It’s over, sisters.
Now we can plant the seed and restore our realm.
Or we plant it in their realm.
But that would destroy their world.
Just as they destroyed ours.
[Hespera] You can’t be serious.
Yes.
[Anthea] No.
No, that’s not what we agreed to.
[Kalypso] Anthea, you simpering bore.
[Hespera] She’s right, we’ve spent ages
waiting for this moment.
[Anthea] We have the seed.
We have the staff and its powers.
[Hespera] We are not squandering it
for your personal satisfaction.
[whispering] No, I should go, not you.
Look, I know what you’re thinking.
The kid with the crutch doesn’t exactly sing “sneak thief.”
But here’s the deal. Your knees crack like crazy when you walk.
It’s pathetic.
[knees crack]
See?
Fortune be with you, Freddy.
Thank you. What did you just call me?
Freddy. Freddy Freeman.
[chuckles] That’s it. You nailed it.
I’ll see you on the other side.
[Hespera] Even if we did, the Tree of Life
would not thrive in their soil.
It would despoil, it would disfigure into something…
[Kalypso] Monstrous?
That is what humans are.
It is only fitting that we bring our monsters to their world
and do to them as they did to us.
[Anthea] We agreed to restore balance
and vengeance has great measure of weight on those scales.
Anthea, humans are villains, even to themselves.
No, not all.
All.
[Hespera] Sister, I fear your rage has gotten the better of you.
[Kalypso] Why?
Humans wreak havoc and devastation,
then pray to the gods to absolve them.
They actually pray for order and peace
when all they do is dismantle it at every turn.
Anthea, I want you to take the apple
and plant it in our garden.
[Kalypso] Of course you turn to her.
Father would be ashamed of both of you.
[object clatters]
[Freddy yelps]
Where did that even come from?
Hi!
You favor her, Hespera,
and see how she betrays us.
Deliver him to his proper fate, sister.
No!
[Kalypso] Kill him!
What is that?
[Shazam] Great question. No idea.
But made you look.
Billy! [chuckles]
Oh!
Oh.
[Freddy gasps]
Your crutch!
Oh! Shazam!
[lightning cracks]
Yes!
No!
So, we have a lot to talk about.
Kalypso, hand me the staff.
You are not fit to wield it.
More fit than you.
You had him in your hands, yet did nothing.
Our sole purpose is to avenge our father,
but everyone here has become weak.
Ladon, world-eater,
rise from the pit!
[clanking]
[Ladon roars]
[Shazam] Go, go, go!
[superhero Darla] Captain Everypower! Where’s he going?
[Super Hero Eugene] What the…
[superhero Mary screams]
[Ladon roars]
[all screaming]
[roars]
[snoring]
[superheroes chattering faintly]
[Rosa] Victor?
Victor, wake up.
Hello. Oh, God, woman. What?
Dad. We gotta go!
We gotta get out of here.
We have to go right now!
This is funny, right? I know what this looks like.
That’s not true. I have no idea what this looks like.
Just don’t freak out.
[Victor and Rosa screaming]
[all speaking at once]
I said don’t freak out! Look at me, it’s Billy.
Rosa, it’s Billy, okay? And that’s Eugene,
and that’s Freddy…
It’s me.
That’s Darla and that’s Mary, obvi,
and then Pedro, just normal Pedro.
[Shazam panting]
Guys, this is no time for secrets, okay?
We have to tell ’em the truth.
[all] We’re superheroes.
I’m gay.
Yeah, we know, bud.
You knew?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh.
I’m the wizard.
Oh, this is the wizard.
He’s a wizard who’s called “the wizard.”
Okay, get dressed right now. Come on, hurry up.
[superhero Darla] Put on these clothes.
This is so weird.
[Shazam] Yep, yep.
You guys are the Philly Fiascoes?
Okay. This is in no way an acknowledgement of that stupid nickname
but, yes, that would be us. Now can you pick up the pace?
We have to go. The dragon is here!
Dragon?
[all screaming]
[Ladon roars]
[Victor whimpers]
[ominous music playing]
[roaring]
[Super Hero Eugene] You okay?
[breathing heavily]
Okay.
I know this is a lot to take in,
but I promise to explain it all later.
[Victor] Explain what?
That our kids are superheroes being hunted by Greek gods
that used a dragon to destroy the house we just bought?
Yeah.
Wait, you bought the house?
Yeah.
[rumbling]
[superhero Freddy gasps]
[roars]
Run! Go!
[all screaming]
[roars]
[both grunting]
Oh, no.
[Ladon roars]
[Pedro] Get down.
[superhero Freddy] Okay, that’s it!
[screams, grunting] Again?
[roars]
[Shazam] Freddy!
Hey, hey! This is what you want, right?
[Ladon growls]
Come on, we’re good.
We’re safe right now. Let’s go. Let’s go.
[dramatic music playing]
[grunting]
[roars]
[screaming]
[screaming]
Mary!
No.
[gasping]
[Mary screaming]
Hey. Are you okay?
You okay?
All right.
Now, where is this dragon?
[roars]
[foreboding music playing]
Fitting place for a garden.
[growls]
[rumbling]
[Ladon growls]
[roars]
[woman screaming faintly]
[man and woman screaming]
[grunts]
[tires screeching]
[people screaming]
[whimpering]
[breathing shakily]
[ominous music playing]
[rumbling]
[roars]
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
[people shouting]
[tense music playing]
[screeching]
Go! Let’s go, let’s go!
[whimpers]
Oh, God, I’m slipping! Slipping!
[people chattering]
My shoe!
[roars]
[creature grunting]
[officer screams]
[roars]
[tires screeching]
Holy moly.
[people screaming]
[foreboding music playing]
[creatures roaring, screeching]
You know, I never thought I’d say this about a dragon,
but it is the least of our problems right now.
Your world will not survive this.
Yeah, no shit, Merlin!
[Anthea] He’s right.
Anne!
Are you okay? Are you hurt?
I’m okay, I’m fine.
In the God Realm, this tree…
is a thing of beauty.
Of peace.
It was not meant for the soil of this realm
and it’s become monstrous by the hand that planted it.
Whose side is she on, anyway? Do you…
I must try to sway Hespera.
Only she can subdue our sister.
I will give it my all, or die trying.
Die? No, I’m pretty sure
we can come up with an alternative to dying.
My sweet Freddy, I’m ready if need be.
I’ve lived a long life.
What are you talking about, “Lived a long life?”
We’re the same age. You’re young. We’re young.
I’m over 6,000 years old.
Oh?
[chuckles]
You look great.
Oh.
Suddenly seems inappropriate.
Yeah.
We can’t let her die. She called me sweet!
We have to figure something out.
Take my powers back.
No, Billy!
No, no, no.
Hey, take my powers back.
You gave ’em to me, so you can take ’em back, right?
I am no longer the champion. You are!
You think I know how to fix this, dude,
but I really don’t, okay?
I, I didn’t even know who those Greek sisters were.
I had to Google them. But you know who they are,
which means you know what to do.
And you were right.
You picked the wrong champion, man.
I mean, that’s why I always say “all or none,” right?
Because without my family, I’m nothing.
And honestly, I have no idea what I’m doin’.
[wizard] No.
You don’t have a shred of wisdom
in that brain of yours.
But your heart is wise.
And it knows exactly what must be done.
I spent millennia searching for a worthy champion
and no one was worthy of what I once shared
with my brothers and sisters.
But when you shared your powers,
you did not hesitate.
For you, everyone can be worthy
if given a chance.
Now, go fight for your family.
Go fight for the world.
I chose right when I chose you.
[Freddy] Billy?
Billy, what are we gonna do, man?
Same thing we always do, Freddy. Save the God darn world.
Now, I’m gonna go get that staff
and I need you to lure these things away
from the stadium while I deal with the dragon, all right?
Wait, wait, wait, Billy, Billy.
Can I just see you, before you go?
Not this version.
You… You.
My Billy.
[gentle music playing]
Shazam!
[lightning cracks]
Is that why the house keeps getting struck by lightning?
Hey.
I promise after this
if I don’t get eaten by a dragon,
I’m not gonna force you to keep me.
Okay?
What?
I know I age out soon.
Billy.
My wonderful, kind, brave, son.
You will never age out of your home.
Never.
Now, do me a favor
and I mean this from the bottom of my heart,
go kick their ass, okay?
I love you, Mom.
Me too.
Shazam!
[lightning cracks]
[dramatic music playing]
That’s gonna take some getting used to.
Everybody to the battle wagon!
The battle wagon?
Trying to get into the spirit of things.
[engine starts]
[growling]
Don’t you see what you’re doing to these people?
[Kalypso] I do.
And what I see is just.
Hespera, look at this tree.
It is blighted. It is unnatural here.
We made a vow to restore our realm,
not destroy another.
[Kalypso] A god has answered their prayers at last.
They did not know their place,
so I am showing it to them.
Your fanatical tone echoes our uncle Hades.
No. I’m putting an end to this.
[grunts]
[growls]
[groaning]
[roars]
Hespera. [pants]
No!
Hespera.
If your emotions rest with the humans so, Anne,
then perhaps you should be human.
[panting]
[rumbling]
[gasps]
[dramatic music playing]
[grunting]
[powers trilling]
[creatures screeching]
[creature roars]
[people shouting, screaming]
Help, somebody! [screams]
[roars]
Somebody help!
Somebody help!
[all screaming]
[roars]
[tires screeching]
Okay, now what? There are only so many minotaurs
I can run over with this van.
[gasps]
Hey, Steve.
What are monsters afraid of?
“The king of beasts.”
Lions?
Unicorns.
Really? I love unicorns.
Yet, the unicorn does not love you.
Guys, unicorns don’t exist.
What?
[creature roaring]
[people screaming]
[Freddy] Oh, my…
Ah! [pants]
I guess maybe it’s not so crazy.
The unicorn is the most fearsome creature of its realm.
Ruthless and cruel,
not like the ponies from your storybooks.
They loathe humanity.
Is there anything they do like?
“Dark caverns. Ambrosia”?
Ambrosia. It’s like the nectar of the gods.
It’s supposed to be sweet, like honey.
I have an idea.
Go, go! Quick, quick.
Guys, get as many of these people to safety as you can.
Kids?
[people screaming]
[creature growls]
Let’s go.
Come on, let’s go!
Wizard?
I’m going with them.
[Rosa] Freddy?
Anne?
Anne!
Anne!
I am not entirely sure how to parent, here.
[ominous music playing]
[Shazam] Hey! Khaleesi!
[Shazam grunts]
[roars]
[roars]
Whoo! That was really satisfying.
How was that for you?
[Shazam screams]
[car alarm blares]
[Shazam grunting]
[car horn honks]
[gasping]
[man 1] Yeah.
[people cheering]
We love you, Thundercrack.
You’re the best, Captain Marvel.
Yeah, go, High Voltage!
Oh, wassup, bro?
It’s Maximum Voltage actually, amongst other names.
We’re still kinda workshopping it, so…
[growls]
[roars]
You thought you were invulnerable.
But, no.
Magical fire.
Magic can kill magic.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, “Magic kills magic.”
Way ahead of you, lady.
I’m just trippin’ out because I’ve never seen
my suit burn like this.
Also, nobody messes with my town!
Know what I’m saying?
[Kalypso] I defeated my traitor sister.
A god.
You think I won’t destroy you?
[heroic music playing]
[grunts]
[roars]
[grunting]
[laughs]
[yelling]
[breathing heavily]
[crackling]
The staff is absorbing it all.
Like a battery.
That’s right.
Run!
This is a terrible idea.
You don’t understand the savagery, the barbarity.
[siren wailing in distance]
Oh, no.
[people shouting in the distance]
[creature skittering]
[rustling]
Hello.
No.
[snorting]
It’s okay. Come here.
Darla…
It’s okay. Good girl.
[snorting]
[suspenseful music playing]
Whoa, watch out!
[Eugene] Whoa!
Darla!
[gasps]
[sniffs]
[whispers] Taste the rainbow.
Good, isn’t it?
It’s the closest to ambrosia we have.
[unicorn snorts]
[gentle music playing]
Good girl.
[roars]
[both] Whoa!
We’re gonna need more Skittles.
[people screaming]
[roars]
[woman grunting]
[sniffs]
[growls]
[sniffs]
[galloping in the distance]
[creature roars]
[unicorns roar]
[screeches]
[unicorns roaring]
[triumphant music playing]
[creature grunting]
Taste the rainbow, motherfu…
[roars]
[grunts]
No, no, no.
Lady, lady, you can’t die!
Come on, Billy, come on! Powers, powers, powers.
Medical powers. No. How-to-fix-dead-people powers.
[breathes heavily]
Clear?
[grunts]
Whoa! Come on! One more time. Clear!
[Hespera] Stop! Stop!
Let me go to the Underworld in peace, please.
Oh, lady, lady, listen to me, okay?
I don’t want anyone else to die.
Not my family, not Anthea, not anyone,
and we can save them.
This all came from the tree, right?
I might know a way to destroy
the tree and the dragon all in one.
Ladon’s powers are too great, boy.
Well, not if I can overload the staff
with enough lightning.
A bomb?
Is that enough to kill the dragon?
And more.
You would annihilate
everything that’s inside the dome.
Well, then I have one more favor to ask.
[people shouting]
[officer] Let’s go, let’s go. Let’s go.
There’s shelter ahead.
There’s shelter ahead. Let’s go.
Walk, don’t run. There’s shelter ahead.
Let’s go, let’s go.
[woman] Keep going. Keep going!
[Freddy] Anne!
Anne!
Anne!
[rumbling]
[Ladon roars]
[people screaming]
[gasps]
[officer] Go. Run.
Watch that rear.
[breathing heavily]
[roaring]
[grunts]
[roaring]
Go, go, go!
[roaring]
[breathing heavily]
[officer 2] Back away!
[growling]
[officer 3] Run, run, run!
[people screaming]
[roars]
Anne!
Ladon,
kill the traitor.
[people screaming]
[grunting, breathing heavily]
[roaring]
[grunting]
Impossible.
Bow him!
[grunting]
[yells]
[Anthea and Freddy grunting]
I lost it. Freddy, I can’t.
What is a god without her power?
The most powerful thing about you
is you.
You taught me that.
[both yelling]
Kill them!
[yelling continues]
[Anthea breathing shakily]
[roaring]
[roaring stops]
[both panting]
[Shazam] Boom! [chuckles]
That must be super disappointing as a dragon.
Assuming that you are one.
I mean, you fly, and you breathe fire,
but you’re also made of wood which is a weird flex
and a serious design flaw, if I’m being honest.
Freddy, Anthea, don’t!
[Shazam chuckles]
Ah, made you look!
Oh, lady, that’s twice.
And I didn’t even need a flaming violin that time.
[Shazam chuckles]
You want the staff? Come get it.
[Ladon roars]
[panting]
[grunts]
Now, Hespera.
[Ladon roars]
Now, Hespera.
Now. Now.
[Ladon growling]
[suspenseful music playing]
[groans]
[powers resonate]
[speaking Greek]
[rumbling]
[magic resonating]
[dramatic music playing]
[engine revving]
[tires screech]
[grunts]
[in English] No.
No! No!
[growls]
Remove the dome.
As long as I still breathe,
the dome still stands.
Till I see you on the other side, sister.
[roars]
[car horn honking]
[horn continues honking]
[tires screech]
[people chattering]
Billy!
Get out of there.
[Shazam] I can’t.
Billy.
[Shazam] I have to do this.
[Freddy] Billy, what are you doing?
You’re not supposed to be in there.
Yeah, I am.
I used to think that I couldn’t do anything right,
that I didn’t deserve my powers,
but there’s something that I can do.
No.
I can save all of you.
But it’s all or none!
[Shazam] Yeah.
All of my family gets to live and none of them gets hurt.
Freddy, I’ve never had a family. You know that.
Everybody I’ve ever cared about, they all left me.
My mom, my dad, everyone.
So when I found you guys, I had to hang on
and I’ve been hanging on too tight.
No.
I should have let you do your own thing.
Now it’s time for you to fly.
What about you?
I’m Captain Everypower Junior.
[chuckles softly, sniffles]
Don’t you forget it.
[intriguing music playing]
[music swells]
[Ladon roars]
We end this now.
Yeah. We do.
[Shazam grunting]
Come on, Billy.
[lightning crackling]
[roars]
He’s got this. We got this.
He’s got this. He’s got this.
Billy.
[grunts]
Fly.
[roars]
[grunting]
Billy.
Come on, baby. Come on, let’s go!
[people chattering]
[grunting]
[Ladon roars]
No!
[roars]
[screaming]
[Ladon groans]
[roaring]
[Shazam grunts]
[Shazam exclaims]
Whoa!
Ah.
[Ladon roaring]
[dramatic emotional music playing]
[Ladon roaring]
[roars]
[grunts]
[Ladon growls]
Shazam!
[all whimpering]
[people clamoring]
[magic whirring]
Billy.
A true god,
after all.
[gentle emotional music playing]
[magic resonating]
[creature screeches]
[growls]
[creatures screeching]
[all grunting, groaning]
He did it.
We must go.
Billy?
Billy?
[Freddy] Billy!
Billy!
Billy. Where are you? [sobs]
[Victor] Billy!
[Freddy] Billy?
Billy! Billy.
Billy!
Billy!
Billy!
Dude, wake up. You did it.
Okay. You’re supposed to wake up.
It’s the part where you wake up
and open your eyes and laugh
and you’re supposed to say you got me, ’cause you got me.
Dude. Joke’s over, man.
Billy!
Billy. Billy, come on.
Freddy.
[sobs]
What did you do?
Wake up, Billy.
[Victor] Billy?
He’s over here!
Billy.
[sobs] You asshole!
We’re a team! We’re a team!
Oh, Billy.
Billy.
Oh, my baby. No.
[solemn music playing]
[Anthea] He was a hero.
He was a hero and a god.
And he should be laid to rest like one.
Hey, pal.
[Freddy crying]
[Rosa sobs]
[gentle music playing]
Will this land ever come back?
The staff is drained of magic.
Only the spark of a god can restore its power
and there are no gods left.
[woman] There is one.
[ancient lamentation music playing]
[dramatic music playing]
[gasps, chuckles]
What?
[crackles]
[grunts]
[magic resonates]
[panting]
[pleasant music playing]
[Darla chuckles]
[Mary and Pedro gasp]
[chuckles] Whoa.
[Freddy] Whoa.
[powers resonating]
[Anthea chuckles]
[chirps]
[dramatic chord plays]
[all scream]
It’s a zombie!
[Shazam grunts] Guys!
What the hell?
You buried me?
In what, like, two minutes?
Oh, Billy!
[all whooping]
Hey.
Oh, man. I missed you guys.
Hi. Hey.
Oh, my God. Hi.
Why didn’t anybody tell…
Hi. Sorry, sorry, I didn’t, uh…
I didn’t see you there, I was, um, I was…
I was dead at the time.
So, you, uh…
you got my bird letter?
Oh, I, uh…
I think you’ve got something…
On my…
Where… Oh.
What?
That’s a spider.
I’m sorry, that’s disgusting.
Also, [chuckling] that’s really embarrassing.
Yes, it is.
But it was an amazing thing you did.
The sacrifice you made.
You brought this world back to life.
Maybe this time, gods and humans
can learn to live in peace.
Yeah.
Use the power of Zeus wisely.
Be well, Billy Batson.
Hey, you know, just because your father’s power
is surging through me,
that doesn’t technically make us related, you know,
and I’m gonna be 18
in, like, five months, so… [clicks tongue]
Stick to saving the world, kid.
Yeah, you know, like, that’s… Okay, cool.
See ya.
What’s with our boys and older women?
[exhales sharply]
Hey.
Who wants their powers back?
[Shazam chuckles]
We can do that, right?
Yeah.
Yeah. Okay, good.
Good, good, good.
[Victor] I’d like our house back.
Can we do that?
[upbeat music playing]
[Victor] Dinner!
Coming.
Aw. Thank you for respecting the cross-stitch.
[Rosa chuckles]
[Rosa] Anthea.
Have you decided what you’re gonna do
about that god realm of yours?
Well, actually I’m gonna take some time off while it heals.
Spend some time with the common folk.
Learn some about your world,
about how, maybe, we can learn from each other.
Number one sign of wisdom:
Admitting there’s always more to learn.
I’m coming around to it.
[doorbell rings]
I got it.
Whoa.
Uh, guys?
Guys!
[suspenseful music playing]
It’s the wizard.
Oh, my God!
[Rosa] No way!
Yes.
Look at this guy!
Look at him, he’s so handsome.
You pimpin’ now, what is this?
[Billy] You look amazing.
You look great!
Well, I was in the neighborhood
and, um, I just wanted to express
my gratitude before I go.
[doorbell rings, pops]
Sorry. Doorbell’s broken. Actually, everything’s broken.
[Freddy chuckles]
Not everything.
You were just in the neighborhood?
[chuckles] Okay, I came for the staff.
Perhaps I will hold onto it for now.
I also wanted to see your faces one last time
before I turn into a pile of ash.
Wait, what?
No!
I am making a joke. I have an Uber waiting.
And besides…
[chuckles]
I’ve been trapped in rocks and prisons for far too long.
It’s time to see your world.
It’s been an honor,
a privilege, watching you all soar.
You know, you’re not such a bad wizard.
Thank you, Jeff.
[sighs] It never ends.
[chuckles]
[Billy] Also,
what’s my superhero name?
Your name is…
Shazam.
Of course.
Yeah.
[all agreeing]
I still think we can beat it.
[upbeat music playing]
My feet hurt. How much further?
About ten seconds less
than the last time you asked me.
I’m sorry, I just feel like we could
have parked a little bit closer.
He doesn’t know we’re coming,
and I didn’t want to spook him.
“Spook him.” He’s a superhero, not a deer.
All right, let’s go.
And then you can tell Waller that even though
she thinks this guy could be a good addition to the team,
we never actually met him
because you wore shitty walking shoes.
[chuckles] Okay, first of all, they’re boots,
and they’re not shitty, they’re new.
I just haven’t had a chance to break them in yet. -Shut up.
Waller said this guy is as powerful as they come,
but a little immature.
Oh, great.
Whoo! [chuckles]
[grunting]
Billy Batson.
Yeah?
I mean, no.
I’ve never heard that name in my life.
I don’t know who you’re talking about.
But I’d like to meet that person ’cause they sound super cool. And funny.
And talented. And ridiculously handsome, but, like, in a dangerous way.
What the hell are you talking about?
Relax. We know who you are.
How?
Don’t worry about that.
Who are you guys?
Don’t worry about that either.
Look, we’ve seen what you can do.
And we’re here to make you an offer.
How would you like to join the Justice…
Yes!
A thousand times yes!
Oh, my gosh! I’ve been dreaming about this!
Well, I mean, not this exactly.
Like, normally, it’s Wonder Woman in the dream, but…
Ew.
Huh?
Well, that was easy.
Welcome to the Justice Society.
Yeah! Aweso… Wait, what?
The Justice Society?
Is that different than the Justice League?
Yes. The Justice Society is different than the Justice League because of how words work.
I just want to be in the Wonder Woman group.
So, that’s you guys, right?
No.
Why are you so obsessed with Wonder Woman, dude?
He’s joking, right?
No?
Okay. I’m out.
I’m gonna wait here, ’cause of the shoes.
Can you drive by and get me?
[Shazam] Hey, just a little constructive criticism.
It’s pretty confusing that there are two separate groups of superheroes that are totally unaffiliated, but both have “Justice” in their name, you know.
Like, have you guys ever thought about doing a rebranding of sorts?
‘Cause just a quick search on Thesaurus.com, you got so many options, man.
Like, “Authority Society.” Eh?
Uh, uh, “Code Society.” That’s stupid.
These are, like, legal terms.
[gasps] “The Avenger Society.”
[inhales sharply]
I like that, for some reason.
[gentle music playing]
[music builds up]
[dramatic music playing]
[mysterious music playing]
[intense music playing]
[distant chattering]
[unsettling music playing]
[voice laughing]
[Mister Mind] Well, well, Doctor. We meet again.
Where in the hell have you been?
[Mister Mind] To implement the perfect plan, Doctor, one must have patience.
What are you talking about?
It’s been two goddamn years!
Yes. But what is time but a trick of the mind?
A meaningless measure.
Hey. I’m 57 years old.
I’m stuck in a concrete box surrounded by lunatics waiting for a worm to enact some, what, vague plan I’ve been told absolutely nothing about?
It takes me a very long time to get places, okay?
I do not have legs, I do not have wings, I just slither around endlessly.
But not for long.
[laughing]
Tell me everything.
Just one more thing I need to do.
What? No!
Oh, goddamn it!
