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Mr. Monk’s Last Case: A Monk Movie (2023) | Transcript

It follows Monk, a brilliant detective with obsessive-compulsive disorder. He returns to solve one last case involving his stepdaughter Molly, a journalist preparing for her wedding.
Mr. Monk's Last Case: A Monk Movie (2023)

Mr. Monk’s Last Case: A Monk Movie (2023)

Mr. Monk’s Last Case: A Monk Movie is a 2023 comedy-crime film based on the popular television series Monk (2002-2009). The film marks the return of Tony Shalhoub as the beloved Adrian Monk, a brilliant detective with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

Plot: Mr. Monk’s Last Case finds Adrian Monk enjoying a peaceful retirement with his wife Trudy (Melora Hardin). However, their tranquility is shattered when their beloved stepdaughter, Molly (Honeysuckle Weeks), a journalist, is involved in a mysterious accident. Determined to find the truth, Monk reteams with his former partner, Captain Leland Stottlemeyer (Ted Levine), and his trusted assistant, Natalie Teeger (Traylor Howard). As Monk delves deeper into the case, he uncovers a web of secrets and conspiracies that threaten him and those closest to him.

Cast:
Tony Shalhoub as Adrian Monk
Melora Hardin as Trudy Monk
Honeysuckle Weeks as Molly Evans
Ted Levine as Captain Leland Stottlemeyer
Traylor Howard as Natalie Teeger-Albright
Jason Gray-Stanford as Randy Disher
Stanley Tucci as Dr. Charles Kroger
John Turturro as Harold Krenshaw

Production: The film was directed by Randy Zisk and written by Andy Breckman, who both worked on the original television series. It was produced by Universal Television and Mandeville Films.

Release: Mr. Monk’s Last Case premiered on Peacock on December 1, 2023.

* * *

[tense music]

♪ ♪

The stove.

Over here, it’s in the kitchen.

No, I mean my stove.

I think I left it on.

It’s OK.

I checked it as we were leaving.

Are you sure? Did you turn the knob?

Yeah.

The little knob, though?

I turned all the knobs.

The stove is off, Adrian.

Of course, Sharona meant well.

She had no way of knowing my stove had already been recalled twice… once in 1986 for a faulty pilot light and again in 1998 for a loose bracket on the oven door.

For nearly a decade, that particular model… the Kitchen King 480 with the digital timer and self-cleaning oven… was the best-selling appliance in North America.

I bought mine on March 1, 1985, from Carl’s Appliances on Rockaway Boulevard.

I had it for 22 years.

It was one of the longest relationships of my life, and certainly one of the happiest.

“It was one of the longest relationships of my life and certainly one of the happiest. The repairman confirmed my suspicion. The manifold valve in the right front burner had rusted through. I guess everyone remembers where they were when Kitchen King discontinued their deluxe six-burner flattop.”

I’m sorry, I cannot publish this.

Too long?

Does it come with a forklift?

Thank you, Terry.

No, it’s not just about the length, Adrian.

We hired you to write about your career as a police detective.

You solved 140 homicides.

That’s the story we paid for, not this.

Oh, here, in chapter four, you have two paragraphs about the suspect and seven, eight, nine pages about his vacuum cleaner.

We have the same vacuum cleaner, the exact same model.

What are the odds of that?

One in six?

Terrence.

Maybe I need an editor.

You’ve had five editors and two ghostwriters.

They all quit.

The last one changed his name and moved to Guam.

I’ve talked to the lawyers.

You’re legally in breach.

We need our advance back.

Advance… you mean the money?

It’s not my decision.

I’m sorry, Adrian.

No, no, no, no.

No, Beth, you can’t do that.

Here’s the thing.

Molly’s getting married in six weeks.

Molly?

Trudy’s daughter.

I didn’t even know about her until 12 years ago.

It’s all in the book.

I mean, it will be, in volume two.

Is there something wrong with the chair?

It’s not plumb with Terry’s.

It should be plumb.

Maybe you could lower yours.

Why?

To make it plumb.

You’ll thank me later.

Oh, please don’t.

[grunts]

You gotta pull up on the lever.

I just… I’m good.

Maybe I’ll just stand.

Maybe we should all stand.

Here’s the thing. Molly is all I have.

She’s all I have left.

She practically saved my life.

When COVID hit, I was in pretty bad shape.

Molly moved in with me.

She never left my side for a year and a half.

She’s only ever asked me for one thing, to pay for her wedding.

I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll rewrite the book.

I’m sorry, Adrian. It’s just too late.

It’s been ten years.

The name Adrian Monk used to mean something.

It’s a different world now.

Everyone’s moved on.

I have an idea. May I make a suggestion?

You both leave the room, and someone different comes in and says different things to me.

That’s not gonna happen.

How about this?

You leave the room,

and nobody comes back in, ever.

I think we’re done here.

Our lawyers will be in touch.

[somber music]

♪ ♪

[indistinct chatter]

♪ ♪

[car horn honking]

[car horns honking]

♪ ♪

Adrian?

♪ ♪

What are you doing?

Nothing.

Let’s back away.

Take a step away from the window.

Here we go.

Adrian, you have to stop thinking about that.

But now they’re taking the money back.

Yes, I know.

I was there.

It was for her wedding.

I promised Molly.

I’m so… I’m just so…

[elevator dings]

Going down?

The wedding is off.

Excuse me?

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

Hey!

Oh!

[laughs]

I’m so happy to see you.

Sorry. Excuse me. Sorry.

Excuse me.

OK, I checked the board, and they just landed.

Where did you get this?

I’ve ruined everything.

Adrian, for the hundredth time, it’s fine.

You did us a favor.

I always wanted a small wedding.

Oh, Molly, you don’t have to say that.

It’s true.

The backyard is going to be perfect.

And Griffin is, frankly, relieved because now he doesn’t have to invite his cousins from hell.

[chuckles] OK?

Mm.

Wow, look at that.

Everybody’s you.

They’re gonna hate it.

Oh, I think I see her.

Hey!

Molly, hi!

[laughs] It’s so good to see you!

Oh!

OK, let’s see it.

Let’s see it.

OK, OK, OK.

Oh, a tattoo?

Yeah.

OK, I love it.

Griffin has one, too.

Oh, at least you won’t lose it, right?

Aww!

Oh, he’s over here.

[gasps]

There he is!

Hello, Boss.

I’ve missed you!

Natalie.

You can’t still be mad at me.

What was I supposed to do?

Stephen transferred.

I had to leave.

We’ve talked about this.

People commute.

From Atlanta?

I thought you’d be happy for me.

Please be happy for me.

I have a wonderful life.

Really?

Julie lives ten minutes away.

I sold 27 houses last year.

I’m my own boss!

Adrian, Adrian, this woman was your assistant for 12 years, which is a record that will never, ever be broken.

So say, “I’m so glad you’re here.”

I’m so glad you’re here.

Say, “I’ve missed you.”

I have missed you.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Monk. I’ve missed you too.

Oh, oh, where’s Leland?

Oh, he just texted.

He couldn’t get off work.

I thought he retired.

He did, for about 20 minutes.

And then he took another gig.

But nobody knows what he’s doing.

It’s top secret.

Oh, oh, Randy!

Hey, stranger!

Ah!

Hey!

Wow, you look great!

Oh, it’s so good to see you!

Hey, you ready for this this?

I guess. Ooh!

Hey, Sharona sends her love.

She had to stay and help with the baby.

I heard. Benjy’s a dad!

Congrats, Grandpa.

Well, step-grandpa.

OK, OK, let’s see some pictures.

Come on, let’s see it!

[gasps]

Look at him.

Oh, oh, oh.

Are you kidding?

That’s not all.

Guess who was just re-elected sheriff of Summit, New Jersey, for the third time?

Oh, it’s no big deal.

Aww.

Hey, Monk, how you doing?

Are you here to apologize?

No, I’m here for the wedding.

Oh.

He thinks we abandoned him.

It was more of a betrayal, actually.

But you told me to take the job.

You recommended me.

Maybe I wasn’t thinking straight.

Maybe I was distracted by the knife in my back.

Oh, OK, I need your help.

Will you go get my bag? It’s right over here.

It’s black with a green…

How’s he doing?

It’s hard to say.

You know, after he solved Trudy’s murder, he was doing better.

I mean, you guys were there.

He was…

Yeah, he was functioning.

He was functioning, more or less.

But then the pandemic hit, and it was just, boom, back to square one.

I mean, he didn’t leave the house for two years.

And then he started taking those in-home rapid tests, and it was like an addiction.

He was testing himself every 20 minutes.

I’m pretty sure that cocaine would have been a cheaper habit.

Then, about three weeks ago, they canceled his book deal.

No.

Yeah.

And now I’m more worried than ever.

What do you mean?

Well, it’s just like he’s given up.

I mean, he hardly talks anymore.

He just sits around all day and stares out the window.

What are you doing?

You’ll thank me later.

Why would I thank you?

I don’t even know you.

You’ll thank me for that, too.

Last night, he called me at 3:00 a.m. to say I love you.

Aww.

It’s freaking me out.

I mean, if it wasn’t for Griffin, I would be a total wreck.

Oh, I cannot wait to meet him.

I’m a huge fan.

Oh, good!

Yeah, yeah, me too, me too.

I loved his book about the global wealth gap thing.

You didn’t read his book.

Well, I listened to a podcast.

No, you didn’t.

Yeah, well, Sharona listens to it.

She fills me in. I get the gist.

You don’t get the gist.

Yeah, I get the gist of the gist.

OK, well, guess who he’s interviewing today, right now.

Who?

I’m Rick Eden.

Rick Eden?

Rick Eden.

Yeah.

You know my story.

Richest man on Earth.

I joined the Royal Air Force when I was 19.

In between missions, I took a computer programming course and designed my first online shopping website.

Our success has allowed me to fulfill my lifelong dream… to become the first civilian in history to orbit the Earth.

Live your dream; make it happen.

I’ll see you on the launch pad.

[rumbling]

5,200, 5,400.

Looking good.

She’s rock-solid.

[indistinct chatter]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

He used to look at me like that.

Mrs. Eden?

I’m Griffin Briggs.

I know who you are.

I listen every week.

Does he know that?

Shh.

We have a secret.

6,700, that’s full throttle.

She’s holding.

We’re stable.

[applause]

Whoo!

No, this isn’t a full load, so let’s push her to 9,000.

♪ ♪

Rick, we prepped for 7.

The chamber’s not gonna hold.

It’s got to hold at 9 on the day.

I’d rather find out now.

We’ve never gone to red on a shuttle test.

The shuttle’s gone, Brian.

It’s a history lesson.

I designed that primary chamber myself.

She’ll hold at 9. So let’s do it.

Let’s push her, push her.

Come on.

[indistinct chatter]

Why is he doing this?

For the benefit of all mankind.

Why is he really doing it?

My husband invented a shopping website that prints money, and he’s basically ten years old.

8,200, 86, 87.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

Deviation 0.5.

Deviation 0.95.

[engines roaring]

89.5.

♪ ♪

[engines roaring]

9,000.

Still holding. Still stable.

♪ ♪

OK, shut her down.

[cheers and applause]

This is Griffin Briggs.

Hi.

Hey.

Proceed with caution.

Let’s take this outside.

Basically, I’m going to be strapped to a big bomb… 7 million pounds of liquid fuel and oxygen.

I’ll be 200 miles above the Earth.

[laughs] My wife says it’s as close to heaven as I’m ever likely to get.

Would you go if you could?

I’d be tempted.

Oh, come on, I know you’d go.

I’ve done my research on you, Griffin Briggs.

You and I are kindred spirits.

Extreme sports, skydiving, cliff jumping.

Is it true that you once paraglided into an active volcano?

Well, it wasn’t active that morning.

[laughs]

I was hoping to talk about your late partner, Harlan Truesmith.

Hey, can you put that away?

That’s not an interview you want to do.

Well, people have questions.

There are some things that aren’t quite adding up.

No, people don’t.

You do, only you.

There was an investigation, Griffin.

It was an accident.

We were in Barbados.

He was scuba diving.

He drowned.

I told him not to dive alone.

Was he alone?

I had this photo enlarged.

And this is him on the boat.

That looks like another diver.

Where were you when it happened?

It’s public record.

[grunting]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

I was back in my room at the hotel with a world-class hangover.

I’ve been hearing stories about the charter boat captain and some other local officials receiving money.

You… you should be careful, sport.

Or this time, you might be flying into a very active volcano.

Is that why you asked me here?

To threaten me?

You must be aware that I own the “San Francisco Dispatcher.”

The managing editor there was fired this morning.

If you’d like it, the job is yours.

You’re offering me a job?

Yeah, your dream job.

600 grand a year, bonuses, stock options.

You could consider it a wedding gift… unless, of course, you’d rather have a Cuisinart.

If you’re serious.

Yeah, I am.

I’ll take the Cuisinart.

Congratulations, Mr. Briggs.

Most people don’t know when they’ve made the biggest mistake of their lives, but you will.

You’ll always know.

You’ll go to your grave knowing.

That gentleman will see you out.

You can keep the photo.

I have plenty.

♪ ♪

[soft oboe music]

♪ ♪

[knock at door]

Mr. Monk?

Your prescription, Mr. Monk.

Oh, thank you.

That’s your last refill.

Do you want us to call Dr. Bell?

No, no, no.

No, that’s fine.

This should do it.

OK. Um…

Oh, sorry.

So sorry.

I only have a 20.

It’s all right. Just get me next time.

Yeah, here’s the thing.

There might not be a next time.

I’ll be… I’ll be going away for a while.

[sighs]

I mean, you don’t have change, do you?

No, I don’t. I’m…

No, no, no.

Ahh. [chuckles]

Um… OK.

Oh, boy, huh? $20.

Yeah, that’s a lot. You know…

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, you…

I mean…

Yeah.

You know what?

Just…

Go ahead.

You should take it.

Thank… thanks a lot.

You’re welcome.

Just… just go.

Why don’t you just go?

OK. Yeah, I will.

[somber music]

♪ ♪

Two more days.

I heard you on the radio talking about your book.

Thank you for listening.

I’m Patient A, aren’t I?

Adrian, that… that information is confidential, so…

That’s a yes.

How did you describe him?

“A cluster of traumatic symptoms unprecedented in the annals of psychiatric history?”

Well, now, you see that… that could be anybody, really.

And I’m Patient B, aren’t I?

Adrian, the cases I described are actually composites of different people.

That’s a yes.

And I’m patient C.

That was pretty obvious.

At least I’m not patient D.

He is one sick puppy, right?

Right?

[clears throat]

Oh, my God, I’m A through D.

I’m a whole bookshelf.

Let’s move on.

We have something important to discuss.

Your pharmacy called.

You’ve been refilling your prescription.

Lorazepam is a powerful sedative.

It’s to be taken as needed.

That’s what I’ve been doing, as needed.

You haven’t been hoarding them, have you?

No, no.

Adrian, I know it’s been a challenging year.

You lost your book contract, you feel you’ve disappointed Molly, and you haven’t been working… although you could work if you wanted to, hmm?

They still call you, don’t they?

Occasionally.

Adrian, everyone has problems, and fears, and disappointments.

They’re all coping.

How are they different from you?

Well, for one thing, they’re coping.

Mm.

[crickets chirping]

[tense music]

♪ ♪

[metal clattering]

♪ ♪

Now, Natalie, I’m sure he’s fine, honestly.

I think he’s probably just walking through the park.

Everything looks so beautiful.

Yeah, he’s been doing that a lot lately.

Mm-hmm.

OK. OK, bye.

The trellis looks beautiful.

You were right. I was wrong.

Oh, you don’t have to say that, but I sure as hell love hearing it.

So I just talked to Natalie, and apparently, Adrian hasn’t been home all morning.

You guys worry about Monk when he doesn’t leave the house, and you also worry about him when he does.

Pretty much, yeah.

OK.

You gonna worry about me like that?

Starting tomorrow at 2:00 p.m., that’ll be my job, worrying about you.

Looking forward to it.

[laughs]

So you’re really gonna… you’re going to do this?

You’re going to bungee jump the day before our wedding?

Well, I have not missed a jump in six years.

Yeah, you wouldn’t want to disappoint the other psychotics.

[yawns]

How late were you up last night?

Don’t ask.

I told Franken he’d have a rough edit by Monday.

Griffin.

I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.

We promised each other a real honeymoon.

Baby, I know.

It’s just, every minute counts, OK?

Eden’s gonna to do everything he can to kill this story.

You weren’t there.

Guys like Rick Eden, they’re capable of anything.

Rules don’t apply.

You just measured that.

You know what they say, measure twice, cut once.

Who says that?

Everybody says that.

I’ve never heard it.

And nonetheless, everyone says it.

Oh. Nonetheless?

And what are you doing now?

I’m just doing my job.

You’re doing it…

I’m a fact-checker.

Because you don’t trust me.

This is your job.

I’m a fact-checker!

Stop. [laughs]

Are you a fact-checker?

[upbeat music]

Whoo!

[cheers and applause]

♪ ♪

[indistinct chatter]

[ominous music]

♪ ♪

Hey!

Hey.

There you are.

Any word from Adrian?

No.

OK, he’ll turn up. He always does.

Yeah, I know.

Griffin, you’re up.

I love you.

I love you.

You gonna stay here?

Uh-huh.

You can’t see from here.

Exactly.

[laughs]

[cheers and applause]

Thank you, appreciate you.

♪ ♪

[exciting music]

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

[together] Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.

[cheers and applause]

[tense music]

[laughing]

Ahh! Ha-ha!

Ahh!

[all exclaiming]

What was that?

Griffin?

What happened?

Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t.

What happened?

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

[somber music]

♪ ♪

What happened?

Cord was 6 feet too long.

He must have measured wrong.

♪ ♪

[breathing shakily]

♪ ♪

You’ve been coming here a lot.

It’s sacred ground, this park, the bridge.

It’s where I proposed to you.

You know I wasn’t surprised at all.

You showed up at my door wearing one knee pad.

It’s what they call a clue.

I’ll be with you soon.

I can’t wait.

Don’t say that.

Darling, you’re scaring me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got him.

He’s in the park. You were right.

Monk, thank God.

[somber music]

What happened?

♪ ♪

Molly!

♪ ♪

[sobbing]

I know.

I know.

[sobbing]

I know.

♪ ♪

How long do these things take?

Not long. It’s a coroner’s inquest.

It’s just a formality.

Oh, heh… excuse me.

Sorry, this is mine.

What do you mean, it’s yours?

He brought it from home.

Yeah, yeah.

Can I use it?

I’m sorry, I don’t make the rules.

But you do make the rules.

Then no.

What?

Hey, just ended.

Death by misadventure was unanimous.

Well, maybe not unanimous.

That was no accident.

He was murdered.

Well, it can’t be a coincidence.

The richest, most powerful man in the world threatens Griffin, and then two days later, he’s dead?

Molly, I know you want to blame somebody.

It’s perfectly natural.

No, no, no.

OK, Griffin knew it.

He knew it that morning in the garage.

He said that Rick Eden was capable of anything, that rules don’t apply.

You have to help me.

Help you what?

Help me prove it.

When Trudy died, you never stopped looking.

Molly, Molly, your mother was killed by a car bomb.

It was obviously a criminal act.

Griffin voluntarily jumped off a bridge.

It’s not possible. He was so careful.

He was obsessive about it.

OK, look… zero evidence of foul play.

He did it.

I don’t know how he did it, but he did it.

Mr. Monk, she needs to be sure.

Why don’t we look into it? I mean, it couldn’t hurt.

I mean, yeah, I can stay an extra couple of days.

I’m sorry.

It’s not a good time for me.

I have plans.

You have plans?

What kind of plans?

Personal plans.

What kind of personal plans?

Personal personal plans.

Look, I’ve already delayed it a week.

Whatever they are, they can wait a few days.

I mean, it’s not life or death, is it?

I didn’t think so.

[sighs]

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Yeah, yeah, nice try.

How high are we?

Is that 40 feet?

300 feet.

So 40 feet?

It’s 300 feet.

So 40 feet.

Yes, Mr. Monk, it’s 40 feet.

Really? It looks higher.

So Griffin knew the exact height.

Within 1/8 of an inch.

He jumped off this bridge twice a year.

They jump from here?

Yeah, that’s right. It’s called a runway.

And Griffin secured his own rope?

Yes. I mean, I assume he did.

You didn’t see him?

No, no, I never watched him.

I was over there.

Show me.

Yeah, sure.

Right about here.

So you were here, and there was a crowd?

About 30 people.

I couldn’t see anything, but I could hear them.

First cheering, then…

Then what?

And then I ran back up here,

and I heard someone say, “What happened?”

And then a guy said, “The cord was 6 feet too long.”

He said it was 6 feet too long?

Are you sure?

I’ll never forget it.

Those were his exact words?

Yeah, he was right.

It’s in the report. 6 feet too long.

How did he know?

He didn’t say about 6 feet?

He didn’t say 5 feet or 10 feet?

How did he know exactly how long it was?

Who was he?

I have no idea.

What did he look like?

Average, I guess.

Like 40s.

He was wearing like a hat.

Oh, white nail polish, just… but only on these two fingers.

Two fingers?

Yeah.

Huh.

Oh, maybe…

no, I got nothing.

Oh, wait.

No, nothing.

Remember when you and Stephen took me to Giants Stadium?

12 years ago.

13.

I remember the catcher behind the plate had nail polish on these two fingers.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, catchers do it so the pitchers can read the signals.

He’s right.

So he plays, what, baseball?

Softball? Is that enough?

Yeah, it’s a start.

I still have some contacts here.

I’ll make a few calls.

What are you going to do?

I’m thinking maybe I’ll close my eyes.

I think that’s a good idea.

[soft music]

♪ ♪

This is where he measured the cord, and here’s where he cut it.

Yeah.

How did he know where to cut it?

Well, like I said, he made that jump twice a year.

He knew exactly how long to make it.

I even was here when he cut it.

Could he have been distracted?

He measured it twice. We even joked about it.

Measure twice, cut once.

Triathlon.

Yeah, he was state champion five years in a row.

Does anybody touch these?

Never. Those are his babies.

2018, 2016… they’re out of order.

What? No, that’s not possible.

♪ ♪

This window was painted shut at some point, but the seal is broken, and there’s paint chips.

Somebody was here, in the garage.

They climbed through.

Oh, my God.

Is anything missing?

I don’t know. I don’t think so.

Why would they do that?

Why would they break in and not take anything?

I have no idea.

I need a drink.

You read my mind.

OK.

Meet you inside.

I want to take a look out back.

♪ ♪

I don’t see any footprints.

There wouldn’t be.

It rained on Tuesday.

The sprinkler’s cracked.

Somebody stepped on it.

Maybe.

What are you smiling about?

Molly was right.

It was murder.

Not necessarily.

Could be unrelated, some neighborhood kids fooling around.

And they didn’t take anything?

And they put everything back, and then they closed the window behind them?

Molly was right.

But how?

Griffin measured the cord himself.

You’ll figure it out.

It might take you a while, but I hope it does.

I hope it takes you ten years.

I want you busy.

I want you distracted so you don’t think about… you know.

Monk!

Hey, hey, found him, the guy from the bridge.

You OK?

There were seven softball games played last weekend.

Pulled photos from all the teams.

This guy, Molly just ID’d him.

She’s 100%.

His name’s Lucas Kubrick.

Guess where he works.

I don’t know.

Do you really want me to guess?

Oh, my deputies love it when I make them guess.

No, they don’t. They hate it.

Randy, where does he work?

He’s a delivery driver, Eden Express.

Guy works for Rick Eden.

[mysterious music]

♪ ♪

Hey, Randy Disher.

We have an appointment with Rick Eden.

Yes, sir, follow the signs around back.

You know, there was a singer, Randy Disher, The Randy Disher Project?

Yeah, that’s me.

I was him.

I mean… I mean… I mean, I am him.

Holy God!

I don’t believe it.

This is crazy.

I’m like your biggest fan!

I listen to you all the time.

Listen, listen…

both: ♪ I don’t need a badge to tell me wrong from right ♪

Hey, Jerome, Jerome, it’s Randy Disher!

Hey!

Oh.

Hey.

Oh, my God!

What are you doing here?

No one’s gonna believe this.

Can we get a photo?

Yeah, sure.

I’m just gonna get a photo.

Randy Disher Project on three.

One, two, three.

[together] Randy Disher Project!

[laughs]

Here, get another one.

What are the odds of this happening?

Zero, the odds are zero.

OK, yeah, one more. Get one more.

Hey!

What you’re seeing impossible.

You know who you should meet?

Our chief of security.

He’s like obsessed with you.

All right.

Oh, oh, my God.

Here he comes.

♪ I don’t need a badge to tell me wrong from right ♪

Captain!

♪ I tired of sucking up and working for the man ♪

That was so mean!

I heard you were coming. I couldn’t resist.

Howdy, Sheriff!

Oh, hey, good job, boys.

Can I turn this off now?

Please?

Yeah.

Natalie Teeger!

Natalie Albright.

Natalie whatever your name is, you look amazing.

Wipe, wipe.

Yeah, I’ll take one of those.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, me too.

OK.

Look at us.

It’s a whole new world, right?

Not to me.

But you’re working here?

Yeah, since February, I’m the chief of security.

Look at this place.

Is that a guesthouse?

Yeah, that’s guesthouse number five.

TK and I live in guesthouse number two.

How is she?

She’s doing great, and I’ll tell you why she’s doing great.

She’s living in guesthouse number two.

I should have jumped ship 20 years ago.

I’m making twice the salary, plus my pension, plus the perks are amazing.

It’s like I won the lottery.

That’s awesome.

I just wish we were here for a different reason.

Yeah, I heard about the kid.

That was brutal.

The day before her wedding?

How’s she doing?

You know, not great. One day at a time.

Yeah, Rick is heartbroken about it.

Is he really?

Yes, he is.

Don’t believe everything you read about the guy.

He’s good people.

You’ll see.

I am thrilled that you are able to join me for a celebration today.

I’ve just sealed the sweetest of deals.

Rick just bought The Atlantic.

Whoa!

Not the ocean, Randy.

It’s a magazine.

Mr. Monk, I assume you take it neat?

I’ll pass.

You know, I cannot tell you what an honor it is to have the great Adrian Monk in my house.

You know, when I first moved here in 2002, you were already a legend.

For a while there, it seemed that you were solving a major case every week.

Thank you. I couldn’t have done it alone.

Well, maybe I could have, but it would have taken a lot longer.

Well, I’ll leave you kids to it.

I’m going for a swim.

In the ocean, not the magazine.

[laughs] I like her.

As do I.

Hey, why don’t we sit?

Rick’s a little pressed for time.

For the record, Rick is seeing you as a courtesy to me.

He barely knew Griffin Briggs.

I only met him once at the launch site.

I spent about 20 minutes with him, maybe less.

His fiancée, Molly Evans, said that you threatened him.

No, I don’t threaten people.

She must have been distraught, which is hardly surprising.

People deal with grief in different ways, don’t they?

Ah, the Napoleon pastries.

I have these flown in from the Du Majeur in Paris.

Help yourself.

I’m on the… I’m on the billion-dollar diet.

First, you make a billion dollars, and then it doesn’t matter how you look.

[laughs] Billion-dollar diet.

[laughs]

This is a picture of Lucas Kubrick.

He was on the bridge the day Griffin Briggs died.

Do you know him?

I don’t. Should I know him?

He works for you.

[chuckles]

Mr. Monk, my company employs 1.2 million people.

It’s a larger workforce than the U.S. Postal Service.

I can hardly be expected to recognize every deliveryman on the payroll, sir.

You know, I’m sorry, but I really think that you’re wasting your time here.

In fact, worse than that, you’re certainly wasting my time.

Why would I be bothered about a story on a wonky little website that, what, 30 people read?

Well, it wasn’t just another story.

When Mr. Truesmith drowned, you inherited his half of the company.

It’s a pretty strong motive.

According to Griffin, the charter boat crew was paid off with money from an offshore bank.

Hearsay, stories, blind speculation.

People write things about me every day.

It’s a national pastime.

I understand there was a story about me in the Times just this morning.

Yes, I read it.

Oh, and do you think they did me justice?

Do you deserve justice?

Excuse me, Monk.

Can I talk to you for a second?

What the hell are you doing?

We were told that this was not a formal interview, that you were just going through the motions to reassure Molly.

That’s what it was, at first.

I can’t believe we’re even having this conversation, Monk.

The man was bungee jumping.

He voluntarily jumped off of a bridge.

I know.

You just accused Rick Eden of orchestrating his murder.

Why?

Because he couldn’t recognize one of his delivery drivers?

How did he know Lucas Kubrick was a delivery driver?

I didn’t tell him.

Well, it’s a pretty safe bet.

Most of his employees are.

Actually, it’s less than 30%.

OK, well, the man misspoke.

Slip of the tongue.

Plus, there’s the motive.

Then, there’s his choice of reading material.

It’s Griffin.

All right, well, the guy was doing some research.

He was curious. Doesn’t mean anything.

“The Death of Socrates.”

Is that the original?

I’m sure it is.

OK, Monk, how about this?

We call the new chief of detectives, Captain Rudner.

She’s good… almost as good as I was.

We run this whole thing by her and see what she says, OK?

Monk?

What do you think hemlock tastes like?

[soft music]

Now, I have a policy.

When Leland Stottlemeyer asks for help, I drop whatever the hell I’m doing, and I make it happen.

I appreciate that.

Good, now prove it.

Next time we’re at Dino’s, try reaching for a damn check.

Share some of that private sector booty.

Will do. Yes, ma’am.

And when Leland says he’s bringing his friend, Adrian Monk, we roll out the red carpet.

I have your visitor pass.

Oh, visitor.

This one is yours.

It’s a permanent pass.

That’s because we want you back here, Adrian, consulting for us.

It’s where you belong.

It’s not just me.

These folks want you back too.

This is my freezer.

22 open homicides, 22 victims who need your help.

I wish I could.

Here’s the thing.

I have plans.

Again with the plans?

He never goes anywhere.

Well, keep the pass, just in case.

Captain? Whenever you’re ready.

We’ve got the Vinton Creek Bridge the day of.

We tracked down 14 witnesses.

Eight of them were recording, so we pretty much have the whole scene.

Oh, there’s Molly.

As you can see, Griffin arrives at 2:12.

He’s already wearing the harness, and he’s got the bungee cord with him, keeps it with him the whole time.

No one else touches it.

That’s our guy.

That’s Kubrick.

I’ve been watching this all morning.

Kubrick and Griffin don’t interact at all.

They don’t talk.

They’re never within four feet of each other.

I’d still like to talk to him.

Unfortunately, that door has been closed.

He lawyered up this morning.

What does that tell you?

Tells me he doesn’t like talking to cops.

Which isn’t surprising considering his pedigree.

Lucas Jay Kubrick, three convictions.

Aggravated assault twice, assault with a deadly, and he did a two-year jolt in Salinas.

Which explains why Rick Eden hired him.

He was looking for an employee with a criminal record.

Hired him for what?

You saw the tape. He didn’t do anything.

People, it is a fact of life… accidents happen.

It wasn’t an accident.

I’ve been working on a little theory myself.

Are those LEGOs?

Until yesterday, it was four Millennium Falcons.

Now, it is the Vinton Creek Bridge.

This is Griffin.

Here’s the bungee cord.

Now, Griffin is jumping off the bridge.

He was planning to stop right there, right?

But we know that Griffin measured the cord himself, so it wasn’t the cord.

So what’s the only other possible explanation?

Someone lowered the bridge.

Oh, no.

Yeah, all he had to do was replace these four pillars with hydraulic gears.

Here’s what happened.

Griffin Briggs was about to jump.

The killer, or killers, lower the bridge by 6 feet.

[motor whirring]

Then, Griffin jumps, and splat.

It’s a perfect crime.

Where would they get the machinery?

Well, they have the technology.

Billionaires lower bridges all the time.

Billionaires lower bridges all the time?

Why?

To go fishing.

Billionaires love to fish.

They lower the bridge so they can see the fish better.

[motor whirring]

Makes you think.

No, it doesn’t.

No, it doesn’t.

Quite the opposite, actually.

[motor whirring]

I don’t want to hear it.

Don’t say it.

He’s the guy.

How can you still like Rick Eden for this?

Monk…

Monk, I love you like a brother.

You know that.

But you’re not thinking straight.

Look, it happens.

We’re not kids anymore.

Things get foggy.

[laughs]

Yesterday, I couldn’t remember the name of my first girlfriend.

Maria Beecom.

That’s right. How did you know that?

Your mother mentioned it.

My mother’s been dead for 35 years.

37.

He’s not the guy. He can’t be the guy.

Why not?

Because I love my job.

That’s why not.

I’ve worked my whole life for this.

I… see this watch?

It’s a $20,000 watch.

He gave it to me.

I’m flying on private jets, and I’m farting through silk.

Wait, you’re what?

I’m…

Never mind.

Look, I’m late for work. I gotta go.

He’s not the guy.

[printer whirring]

OK, so this is it.

That’s it?

Yep.

Those are all the notes that he left.

There’s a smudge.

Where?

That.

Can you ignore it?

[laughs] Of course I can ignore it.

I’m not psychotic.

OK.

So this is a list of… a list of… this is a list…

So Clyde… thank you.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Yeah.

These must be the witnesses from Bermuda.

A bartender, a deckhand.

Yeah, so Griffin couldn’t get any of them to talk.

He figured that they must have been paid off.

Kremlin?

Was there a Russian connection?

Yeah, I couldn’t find anything, but I’m going to keep digging.

I’m not giving up.

I know you’re not.

Are you?

Never.

Oh, that’s his tux.

I should really return that.

It’s probably costing me a fortune.

His wedding vows.

Really?

[gasps]

We wrote our own.

“Molly, there’s a phrase that poker players use.

“They say, ‘I’m all in.’

“And I want you to know that I’m all in on this marriage. I will nurture your dreams”…

I just… can you just?

“I will nurture your dreams and will help you reach them.

“I will take your hand when it’s dark, and I will take your hand when it’s not dark.

[laughs]

[chuckles]

“I cannot wait to make bad choices together and take wrong turns with you and tell our friends the same boring stories over and over forever and ever, until no one can stand us but each other. As the poet said, ‘I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears of all my life.'”

♪ ♪

” ‘And if God chooses, I shall but love thee better after death.’ “

♪ ♪

I do.

[sobbing]

I do.

♪ ♪

It’s OK.

I have other jackets.

♪ ♪

Is there a problem?

You tell me.

Not from my end.

Everything went down just like you said.

Dead solid perfect.

Oh, right.

OK, well, tell me this, Mr. Dead Solid Perfect.

What was Detective Adrian Monk doing in my house yesterday showing me a 10×8 photograph of you?

Here’s all I know. I followed the plan, OK?

All right.

You want me to take care of this Detective Monk?

I’ll do that for you happily.

No, no, no.

No additional charge.

No, no. Thank you.

You’ve been quite enough help already.

I’ll figure out a way to deal with Adrian Monk.

[tense music]

Hey, Brian.

Camera C. Bump it up here.

Yes, sir.

♪ ♪

Isn’t that the boss?

Yep.

So what happened Monday?

Oh, I know.

I know. I’m sorry.

You know, it was the first appointment you’ve ever missed.

I got mixed up.

I forgot what day it was.

You forgot what day it was?

You know, I have another patient.

His name is Adrian Monk.

You look a lot like him.

When you didn’t call, I called Molly.

She said you were investigating Griffin’s death.

So how does that feel, to be working again?

It’s like riding a bicycle.

Good. I’m glad to hear that.

I mean, it’s terrifying.

Molly thinks that Rick Eden, the billionaire, is somehow responsible for what happened.

Is that possible?

It’s possible,

but it’s not possible.

I don’t understand.

Neither do I. Leland doesn’t believe it.

Maybe he’s right.

I’m completely lost here.

Do I really suspect this man, or am I just saying I do to make Molly happy?

Or is it because it’s important to Trudy?

You’ve been talking to Trudy?

No. No, no, no.

You just said it’s important to Trudy.

No, I didn’t.

Adrian, I’m sitting right here.

I heard you say it.

We’re out of time.

We’re not out of time.

What I meant was, it would have been important to Trudy.

Is Trudy here?

Is she with you now?

[soft music]

♪ ♪

[whispers] No.

♪ ♪

[clears throat]

I’m OK.

It’s not for you.

Dr. Bell?

I have something to tell you.

I…

I retired two months ago.

You’re the only patient I have.

I love you, Adrian.

I love you too.

This can’t be healthy.

I’m so worried about you, Adrian.

You’ve never lied to me before or missed an appointment.

I don’t think you appreciate how many people love you, not just your friends.

I mean, everyone.

Everyone I know appreciates you and what you’ve accomplished.

What I’ve accomplished?

It’s true. You’re a remarkable man.

All right.

An important man.

Sure.

How many homicides have you solved?

120?

140.

What good has it done?

At the end of the day, what difference have I made?

Zero, less than zero. Look at this.

Look, look, look at this city.

“Murder rate at a 30-year peak.”

“Bystander slain.”

Oh, “Teen sought in double homicide.”

It’s like I was never…

[quirky music]

Here.

Adrian?

[mysterious music]

♪ ♪

This is the third letter.

This one came this morning. They’re freaking everybody out.

One girl quit.

“This is the Canine Liberation Front. Your shelter is a death camp. We will save our innocent canine brothers by whatever means necessary. Soon, very soon, blood will flow.”

You said you might know who’s sending them?

I’m sure I do.

When I saw that newspaper article,

I recognized the address.

I had seen it two days ago written on a Post-It note.

You remember an address you saw on a Post-It note two days ago?

It’s a gift… and a curse.

I’m no longer so sure about the gift part, but it’s not just the address.

The handwriting matches.

It is definitely Rick Eden.

The gazillionaire?

Why would somebody like Rick Eden… why would anybody pick on us?

We’re one of the best shelters in the city.

And we never put our dogs down… except when there’s no other choice, like with Watson here.

He’s practically blind.

He can barely walk.

He’s afraid of everything… cars, thunder, other dogs.

What’s he doing?

Oh, he’s cleaning his cage.

That’s all he does all day long.

Ah…

Mr. Monk, he’s you.

He even looks like you.

Thank you.

Oh, hello, fella.

Hello.

Isn’t there anything you can do?

It’s heartbreaking, right?

He’s already been here six months, and that’s our limit.

[sighs]

Mr. Monk, you should adopt him.

You could take care of each other.

I can’t have a dog.

Why not?

Because I only have one bowl.

What does that mean? Just buy another bowl.

I’m not gonna buy another bowl.

I’d be a man with two bowls.

Huh?

[dog whines]

Besides, he doesn’t want to be rescued.

Of course he does.

No.

No, he’s… he’s ready to go.

They’d be doing him a favor.

He’s alone.

No one’s gonna miss him.

He’s had enough.

[dog whimpers]

Aww.

He’s saying, “I love you.”

No, he’s saying, “By all that’s holy, let me go.”

[sighs]

Thank you for your time.

You mustn’t give up hope.

♪ ♪

Don’t listen to her.

You give up all the hope you want.

Rick Eden may be a lot of things, but he’s no animal rights activist.

I agree.

For one thing, he wears that stupid leather jacket.

Plus, he’s into bullfighting.

Bullfighting? That’s the worst.

So why is he threatening this nice little shelter?

It doesn’t make sense.

It will, eventually.

What does that mean?

Everything makes sense, eventually.

Fine, everything makes sense.

Where did I park my car?

Mr. Monk, I’m worried about you.

You really should get a dog.

Nobody needs a dog more than you.

Natalie, pull over!

What?

Right here! [tires screeching]

That’s Lucas Kubrick.

So this must be his route.

The animal shelter is on his route.

Apparently.

Oh, he is good.

He’s very good.

Who’s good?

Rick Eden. This is brilliant.

Eden paid Kubrick to kill Griffin Briggs, but now Eden has a problem.

Lucas Kubrick is a loose end.

He knows too much. Here’s what happened.

I mean, here’s what’s about to happen.

Last week, Eden picked out a business on Kubrick’s route.

Like the animal shelter?

It didn’t matter.

Any business would do.

Then he sent them two or three anonymous letters… crazy letters, threatening letters.

Then he sends a bomb.

He probably mailed it yesterday.

I’ll bet he’s tracking it right now.

But here’s the brilliant part.

He’s going to detonate it early, before it gets delivered.

I get it.

The bomb will kill Kubrick, but everyone will assume…

It was meant for the animal shelter.

Who’d ever think the delivery guy was the real target?

Oh, you were right. Everything does make sense.

We have to warn him.

There’s a bomb in that truck.

Turn around.

What… what are you doing?

It’s called a three-point turn.

Natalie, oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

I’ve never been good at these.

I flunked the driving test four times.

Oh, my God, Natalie, there’s a bomb.

I know there’s a bomb! You’re not… stop talking!

You’re not helping!

Oh, my God.

We should leave a note.

Natalie!

God!

♪ There’s nothing surer, the rich get rich ♪

♪ And the poor get poorer ♪

That way. That way. Turn, turn it!

Turn it, turn it! Go forward, go forward!

You’re in the… Natalie!

[gasps]

Forget it!

Ugh!

♪ ♪

Lucas, wait!

[tense music]

♪ ♪

Lucas!

Wait!

That’s a bomb!

Lucas, that’s a bomb! It’s a bomb!

It’s a bomb!

[beeping]

[people screaming]

Ugh!

Augh!

Oh, my God! Oh, God.

Oh, my… oh, my God! Somebody help me!

Please, somebody over here!

Please, I’m down! Over here!

Oh, my God, Mr. Monk!

Are you OK? Where are you hurt?

It’s my… it’s my foot!

What? What?

I can’t… which foot?

I can’t see anything. Where?

Natalie…

What?

Natalie, amputate.

Please!

No, no, no choice.

Just cut it off!

Oh, no.

Please!

Oh, God, just…

Ahh!

There’s no choice! Just cut it off!

Where are you going?

Where are you… Help me, please, help me.

Hey, I’m over here!

Where are you going? Hey, somebody, please!

[police siren wailing]

[radio chatter]

Hey, Monk.

You OK?

Where’s Natalie?

She’s over there, helping the other victims.

Where are your shoes?

I buried them.

Of course you did.

Well, no surprise.

You were right about Rick Eden.

He is definitely the guy.

He met with Kubrick this morning at the launch site.

I clocked it myself.

[sighs]

Damn it. I really did like that job.

Did you tell them you’re quitting?

No, not yet.

I figured I’d hang out long enough to help you nail the son of a bitch.

[chuckles] That’s what we do, right?

It’s what we do.

OK, what you need is his laptop.

It’s where all the digital bodies are buried.

I’ve seen it.

He keeps it in a desk in the Kremlin.

The Kremlin?

Yeah, that’s what he calls his beach house in Monterey.

Griffin mentioned the Kremlin in his notes.

If you’re gonna get it, it’s gonna have to be tomorrow.

His wife is throwing him a launch party over there.

Just sneak in, go upstairs, grab the laptop.

Nobody will notice.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, why me?

This sounds like a job for… not me.

Sorry, partner, I’ve got to be on-site at Mission Control until the launch.

You’re on your own.

I’m not invited.

Don’t worry about that. I’ll get you in.

You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen your feet before.

I have, three times.

[soft piano music]

♪ ♪

♪ Fly me to the moon ♪

♪ And let me play among the stars ♪

♪ Let me see what spring is like ♪

♪ On Jupiter and Mars ♪

♪ In other words ♪

♪ Hold my hand ♪

♪ In other words ♪

♪ Darling, kiss me ♪

♪ Fill my heart with song ♪

♪ And let me sing forever more ♪

[sighs]

[groans]

♪ All I worship and adore ♪

Come on. Are you kidding me?

[clears throat]

♪ Please be true ♪

[all groaning]

Come on!

♪ In other words ♪

♪ I love you ♪

[laughs]

Oh, you.

[cheers and applause]

It’s been 20 minutes.

♪ ♪

How much longer is this gonna take?

It’s just a gin and tonic, Geraldo.

That’s close enough.

It doesn’t have to be perfect.

12, 13, 14.

What are you doing?

Seriously?

71, 72, 73, 74.

This is ridiculous.

Does this smell funny to you?

♪ ♪

Come on.

[all groaning]

[phone ringing]

Good evening, pool bar.

Monk, did you find the laptop?

I haven’t had a chance.

I’ve been… we’re really short-staffed.

Monk, what are you doing? You gotta get upstairs.

These poor people have been waiting.

Just…

You just tell them you’re taking a little break.

Just do it.

OK, so I’m gonna take a little break.

Oh, no, you’re not.

We’ve been waiting.

We’ve all been waiting a long time.

OK, OK, fine.

All right, who’s next?

♪ ♪

One, two, three…

[glass dinging]

Ladies and gentlemen, if I may, Rick, the team was a little worried about you being up there by yourself.

We all know how this man hates to be alone.

[laughter]

So we arranged for a co-pilot to keep you company.

Oh, here we go.

Oh!

[laughter, applause]

What am I to do with her?

Thank you.

Well, I think I may be up there a little longer than I planned.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh.

Thank you.

You are going to need to find your own astronaut.

[laughter, applause]

♪ ♪

Is anyone making drinks?

It’s just a mai tai.

[clears throat]

♪ ♪

[scoffs]

Thank you, Robert.

Mr. Monk, aren’t you a bit old to be doing this kind of thing, hm?

Snooping around, sneaking into parties, dressing up as a bartender?

Oh, please.

Shouldn’t you be retired by now?

No, actually, let me rephrase that.

It is important to me that you are retired.

I am sure it is.

You’re familiar with OFCs, aren’t you?

I’ve taken the liberty of setting up an offshore account for you.

You know, my first divorce cost me $200 million, and that was back in the day when $200 mil was considered to be quite the chunk of cash.

I’m going to offer you significantly more than that.

If I press this key here, you will be worth $1 billion.

You’ll be the 12th richest man in California.

You think money can buy anything?

I do.

And here’s why, because it can.

And what would I do with a billion dollars?

Anything, everything.

I might suggest, for example, rejuvenation therapy.

They are doing miraculous things these days with cryogenics and blood transfusions.

Maybe you, you could live forever.

Live forever?

You really are a monster.

[laughs]

Before you answer, just consider this, huh?

Last week, I met with your old pal, Griffin Briggs, to offer him a job… a job that I knew he coveted.

And he turned me down.

So I killed him.

You’re admitting it.

Why should I deny it?

You and I both know it to be true, so…

How?

How?

How did he do it, huh?

Obviously, I’m not going to tell you that, sport.

That’d take all the fun out of it, wouldn’t it?

Frankly, I could do without you running around looking under rocks, asking awkward questions.

Hence the offer.

[tense music]

[exhales]

Going once.

♪ Da, da, da, da, da, da-da, da, da ♪

♪ Da, da, da-da, da, da, da, da ♪

Going twice.

♪ Dun, dun, dun, da, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun ♪

♪ Dun, dun, bum, bum, bum, bum ♪

OK, you win.

I’ll take it.

No, sorry, sport.

Don’t believe you.

[fireworks booming] Oh, oh, oh!

[chuckles]

We are missing one hell of a party.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

Leland, I have the laptop.

Where are you?

[panting] I don’t know.

[fireworks whistling]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[crowd exclaiming]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Adrian?

♪ ♪

Give me your phone.

♪ ♪

Good.

Now the laptop, put it down.

Put it down.

♪ ♪

I don’t suppose I could convince you to jump, could I?

Not tonight.

Not yet.

Oh.

You really should have taken the money.

[grunting]

♪ ♪

[waves crashing]

[seagulls squawking]

[phone ringing]

Hey.

Any news?

No, nothing yet.

They said this time of year that the currents can be unpredictable.

He could be anywhere.

Oh, my God, poor Mr. Monk.

Wait, wait, wait, Natalie, wait, I think they’re coming back.

Yeah, and there’s somebody with them.

Yeah, there’s somebody with them.

Is it him?

Yes, yes!

OK. It’s him.

They have him. They have both of them.

Did you say both of them?

Yeah, he’s with a woman.

She saved my life.

I know she did.

She’s a phenomenal swimmer.

I’m sure she is.

I told her things that I’ve never told anyone.

Adrian, I’ve made a decision.

I want you to quit the case.

Quit the case?

I already lost Griffin.

If anything happened to you…

Molly, he’s the guy.

Rick Eden, he confessed last night.

He told me he did it.

He actually said that? Did he say how?

So you can’t prove anything.

[sighs]

You know what?

I don’t care. I don’t care.

Let him win. He wins.

It was a perfect murder.

I just want to move on.

You could live with that?

No, you couldn’t.

I’ll learn to live with it.

I just got a job offer in New York.

I know it’s terrible timing.

Or maybe it’s not so terrible.

I don’t know.

Come with me.

To New York?

With you?

I can’t.

Why not?

Because… because I love you.

♪ Broken windows ♪

♪ And the empty hallways ♪

♪ The pale dead moon ♪

♪ In a sky streaked with gray ♪

♪ Human kindness ♪

♪ Is overflowing ♪

♪ And I think ♪

♪ It’s going ♪

♪ To rain today ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Scarecrows dressed ♪

♪ In the latest style ♪

♪ With frozen smiles ♪

♪ Chase love away ♪

♪ Human kindness ♪

♪ Is overflowing ♪

♪ And I think it’s going ♪

♪ To rain today ♪

♪ Right before me ♪

♪ The signs implore me ♪

♪ Help needed ♪

♪ Show them the way ♪

Is that it?

Not quite.

I have one more stop.

♪ ♪

♪ And I think it’s going ♪

♪ To rain today ♪

♪ ♪

If you have any questions…

That’s our most popular model.

It’s also available in a cream velvet interior…

For the man who had everything.

May we ask, when is the funeral?

Oh, he hasn’t actually passed yet.

Both: Ah.

But it’s imminent.

Ah, imminent.

Well, we’re very sorry.

May we ask, how old a gentleman is he?

About my age.

Oh, that’s too young.

No, it’s about right.

But you loved him.

That’s obvious.

No, not really.

If budget is a concern…

We also offer cremation.

Oh, cremation?

I don’t think so.

I’m not… he’s not… we’re not big fans of ashes.

This is pure titanium alloy, 100% airtight.

Yes, he’d like that.

Could I pay in installments?

That’s not an option we can offer.

You see, this product is buried.

It’s under the ground, which makes it difficult, if not impossible, to repossess.

This is one of our favorite models.

We have two of them.

Reserved for ourselves.

Identical caskets for identical twins.

Not quite identical.

Your head is smaller by a quarter of an inch.

[light music]

♪ ♪

22 1/2.

22 3/4.

He’s right.

Nobody’s ever mentioned this before.

I’m sure they noticed.

They were just being polite.

Well, this explains a lot.

I mean, whenever you borrow my sweaters, they get all stretched out.

I’ll tell you what it explains.

It explains why you’ve never beaten me at chess.

Well, you’re… you’re a freak.

You’re a pea-brain.

With the size of your head, I’m amazed you can stand upright.

Your birth was so easy because my head paved the way!

Oh, I can’t even believe that I even look in your eyes, and then I could see the whole thing in one frame!

What are you smiling about?

[Tchaikovsky’s “1812 Overture”]

This is truly a historic moment here at the Eden Space Center in Harding, California, where people have been gathering all morning.

In less than four minutes, Richard J. Eden will become the first private citizen in history to orbit the planet.

[cheers and applause]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Genesis, you’re looking good.

Stand by for final go-no go.

Roger that.

Switching from AC to Main B.

Genesis, we’re activating the ground launch sequencer.

Verify your power supply.

Pressure is holding.

Transferring to internal power.

[cheers and applause]

Genesis, we are T-minus three minutes.

Activating flight recorders.

Roger that.

Activating primary burn-off.

[squeegee squeaking]

As you can see, the countdown clock has stopped.

We’re hearing reports of police activity in and around the control room.

Rick, honey?

We have a problem.

There are some police officers here.

They have a warrant for your arrest.

Hey, uh… hey, let’s just… can you find Leland Stottlemeyer?

He can take care of that.

Leland is the one with the warrant.

Hey, Boss.

This a bad time?

I want to introduce you to Captain Lisa Rudner, Homicide Division.

Mr. Eden, we have a warrant for your arrest for two counts’ felony murder, special circumstances.

Oh, and by the way, I’m quitting.

And I’m keeping the watch.

[door clunks]

[hydraulics hissing]

Monk.

No, no, no, this isn’t possible.

You’re…

Dead?

Not quite yet.

You know, first things first.

We’re joined now by Natalie Teeger-Albright and Sheriff Randy Disher from Summit, New Jersey.

Now, you two were seen arriving on the launch tower with a mysterious man.

Can you identify him?

Yes, his name is Adrian Monk.

He’s my former boss.

And from here, it looks like he was washing the windows of the capsule with a squeegee?

Yeah, he’s probably not thinking straight.

He’s afraid of heights.

It’s his second biggest fear after germs.

Actually, it goes germs, needles, birds, then heights.

No, no, no, no, no, it’s germs, heights, snakes, needles, Neil Diamond,

birds, puppets…

Wait, I think it’s puppets…

Soccer riots, milk…

Baby shoes.

Is before birds.

Puppets is? Wait, so puppets, birds…

And mothballs.

Yeah, mothballs.

It looks like he’s conversing with Rick Eden.

Do you know what they might be saying?

Well, by now, he’s probably doing the, “Here’s what happened.”

The what?

I just couldn’t figure it.

How could that cord be 6 feet too long?

Griffin measured it himself.

He cut it himself.

Could you scooch over, please? This is…

What?

This is just a little close.

And I don’t do well in confined spaces.

All right, I’ll scooch.

All right, just…

Look… look, just mind my…

I’m trying to.

Well, just leave that alone.

It’s a very… don’t touch that.

All right.

Don’t touch that.

All right.

Ow!

Move this over.

Ow, God!

If I could just get a little air.

Does it really have to be that big?

Just… yes, it does.

There’s a lot of information on there that is precious.

OK, OK, OK, just wait a moment.

Then, this morning I met two funeral directors.

Funeral directors?

They were identical twins, except for their hat size.

Doesn’t matter.

It was never about the bungee cord.

You never touched the bungee cord.

It was about this…

His tape measure.

This was the murder weapon.

Here’s what happened.

You had done your research.

You knew Griffin always measured his own bungee cords.

You had Kubrick make another tape measure.

It was identical to the one Griffin used.

There was only one difference.

Every inch was slightly longer… just a fraction of a millimeter, not enough for anyone to notice.

After that, it was easy.

Kubrick broke into the garage and switched tape measures. Griffin thought he was measuring 304 feet, but in fact, it was 6 feet longer.

He never had a chance.

[echoing] He never had a chance.

Mr. Eden, over here!

Did you kill Griffin Briggs?

Do you care to make a statement?

What led to this arrest?

Rick, what about the mission?

I think this mission has been scrubbed.

I’d say the next 40 years of your life have been scrubbed, sport.

A billion dollars.

What were you thinking?

I was thinking about my wife.

Molly was her baby.

You broke her baby’s heart.

[soft music]

♪ ♪

I’ve got to say it.

I’ve really missed this.

Yeah, me too.

I guess I’m retired again.

Well, there’s an opening in New Jersey.

I’m looking for a deputy.

In New Jersey?

♪ ♪

Wait, Adrian.

I’ve waited long enough.

Adrian, I’m…

I’m not alone.

Hello, Adrian.

Griffin.

I just wanted to say thank you.

For?

Closure, justice.

When I couldn’t speak for myself, you spoke for me.

♪ ♪

They’re murder victims of cases you solved.

♪ ♪

They heard that you were in trouble, and they wanted to help.

Mr. Monk, we wanted to thank you for never giving up.

God bless you, Mr. Monk.

You fought for us.

We’re so grateful.

I’m at peace thanks to you.

My family can move on thanks to you.

You were all we had.

You never quit.

♪ ♪

I don’t remember you.

I’m still in the freezer.

I haven’t been solved yet.

I’m waiting for you, Mr. Monk.

♪ ♪

Adrian!

There you are.

Are you OK?

I’m fine, I’m… I’m fine.

I just had to clear my head.

I was about to head back.

OK, well, my car’s right up here.

I thought… I thought I’d walk.

Beautiful day.

It is a beautiful day.

Not a perfect day, but good enough.

Um, I found this in your other jacket, and I thought maybe you could swing by the precinct, see if the new captain might need any help?

I might do that.

Yeah. I might do that.

♪ ♪

Thank you.

Don’t wipe that off for a while.

I’ll do my best.

OK.

[laughs]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[Randy Newman’s “It’s a Jungle Out There”]

♪ It’s a jungle out there ♪

“Take care of each other. Love, Natalie.”

[light music]

♪ ♪

[chuckles]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Hey, honey.

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