Good Will Hunting (1997) | Transcript

Will Hunting, a janitor at M.I.T., has a gift for mathematics, but needs help from a psychologist to find direction in his life.
Good Will Hunting

[Birds Twittering]

[Dog Barking In The Distance]

[Airplane Flying Overhead]


[Bell Tolling]

Mod fx squared, dx.

So please finish Percival by next time.

I know many of you had this as undergraduates, but it won’t hurt to brush up.

Thank you, Steven.


I also put an advanced Fourier system on the main hallway chalkboard.

I’m hoping that one of you might prove it by the end of the semester.

Now the person to do so will not only be in my good graces, but also go on to fame and fortune… by having their accomplishment recorded and their name printed… in the auspicious M.I.T. Tech.

Former winners include Nobel laureates, Field’s medal winners, renowned astrophysicists and lowly M.I.T. professors.

Well, that’s all. If you have any questions, I’m sure that Tom has the answers.



[Door Closes]

♪♪ [Country]

Hi, Will.

Kirsten, how you doing?

I’m all right. How are you?


I didn’t get on Cathy last night.



Why not?

I don’t know.



Why didn’t you give me none of that nasty little hoochie-woochie… you usually throw at me?

Oh, fuck you… and your Irish curse, Chuckie.

Like I’d waste my energy spreadin’ my legs for that Tootsie Roll dick?

Go home and give it a tug yourself.

[Boy] Tootsie Roll!



She’s missin’ a tooth, Will.

She’s got skin problems. I don’t—

Plus, it’s like 5-to-2 Morgan ends up marryin’ her, you know what I mean?

There’s only so many times you can bang your friend’s future wife.

It’s wrong. Where you goin’?

I’m gonna take off.

Fuck you, you’re takin’ off. It’s, like, what, 10:00?

No, I’m tired.

Irish curse?

She don’t know. There ain’t no Irish curse.

[Buffer Humming]

[Buffer Clicks]

[Chalk Clicking Chalkboard]


Stop brushing me back.

Stop crowding the plate! Which one will it be?

You’re gonna get charged, you know that?

You think I’m afraid of you, you big fuck? You’re crowdin’ the fuckin’ plate.

Hey, uh, Casey’s bouncin’ up a bar at Harvard next week. We should go up there.

What are we gonna do up there?

I don’t know.

We’ll fuck up some smart kids. Probably fit right in.

Ow! Fuckin’ punk.

Oh, what’s up? You still tough?

Come on!

Come on. Come on. That’s it.

♪ I’d hold you forever here ♪

♪ In my arms ♪


Professor Lambeau?

I’m in your applied theories class. We’re all up at the math and science building.

Come here. It’s Saturday


Unless you wanna have a drink with me tonight.

[Chuckling] Maybe.

We just couldn’t wait until Monday to find out.

Find out what?

Who proved the theorem.

This is correct. Who did this?


It wasn’t me.


[Chuckling] N-No way.

Come on, Joey Mac!

Billy, McNamara’s up.

[Chuckie] Come on, kid!

Joey, dig it out! Dig it out!

Another pitch!

Bring it down, Mac! That’s how to do it!

Attaboy! Take two, Mac.

Hey, Morgan, who’s the girl with the striped pants? She’s got a nice ass.

[Morgan] Yeah, that’s a real nice ass.

Who’s the guy she’s with?

That fuckin’ guinea. I hate that little bitch. Will knows him.

Yeah, I do. Yeah, fuckin’ Carmine Scarpaglia.

That guy used to beat the shit out of me in kindergarten.

That guy?

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Fuck this. Let’s get some food.

Oh, what, Morgan, you’re not gonna go talk to her?

Fuck her. [Burps]

I could go for a Whopper.

Let’s go to Kelly’s.

Morgan, I’m not goin’ to Kelly’s just ’cause you like the take-out girl.

It’s 15 minutes out of our way.

What the fuck are we gonna do? We can’t spare 15 minutes?

[Morgan] Double burger.

Double burger.

Chuck, I had a double burger.

Would you shut the fuck up? I know what you ordered. I was there.

So give me my fuckin’ sandwich.

What do you mean, your sandwich? I bought it.

Morgan, how much money you got on you?

I said I’d get change when I get the snow cone.

I said that when we pulled up. Give me my sandwich and stop bein’ a prick.

All right, well, give me your fuckin’ 16 cents that you got on you now.

We’ll put your fuckin’ sandwich on layaway. Here we go. Keep it right up here for ya.

We’ll put you on a program. Every day you come in with your six cents.

At the end of the week, you get your sandwich.

Are you gonna be an asshole?

What am I, fuckin’ sandwich welfare?I think you should establish a good line of credit.

Like how you bought your couch— payment plans.

Remember how your mother brought in ten dollars every day for a year.

She finally got her couch Rent-A-Center style.

Can I have my food, please?

Here’s your fuckin’ double burger


Hey, hold up, Chuck.

Slow it down.

Who do we got?

I don’t know yet.

Hey, douche bag!

[Glass Shattering]

Yeah, you, you skank face!

Shut the fuck up.

Get outta here.

What are you worried about?

[Morgan] Come on, Will.

Why don’t you lick my love stick?

We seen the guy 15 minutes ago. We should’ve fight him then. We’re eatin’ our snacks now.

Shut up, Morgan, you’re goin’.

I’m not goin’.

So don’t go.

I’m not goin’, Fuckin’ go, Morgan.

Let me tell you somethin’. If you’re not out there in two fuckin’ seconds, when I’m done with them, you’re next.

Carmine, it’s me, Will. Remember? We went to kindergarten together.

♪ Way down the street there’s a light in his place ♪

[Birds Twittering] ♪ He opens the door he’s got that look on his fiace ♪♪

[Bell Tolls]

Fuckin’, let’s go, man.

Step on his fuckin’ head.

Smash his ass on the ground. Stomp that motherfucker.

Motherfucker, die!

Hit him harder!


Come on!


[Chuckie] Will! Will, cops, Will!

Will, cops. let’s go. Let’s go.

Easy, brother, easy.

[Chuckie] Hey, fellas, thanks for comin’ out.

Come here!

Whoa! Whoa!


[Dispatcher On Walkie-talkie, Indistinct]

Ah. Fuck.

[Students Chattering]

ls it just my imagination, or has my class grown considerably?

Well, by no stretch of my imagination… do I believe you’ve all come here to hear me lecture.

Rather, to ascertain the identity of the mystery math magician.

So without further ado, come forward, silent rogue, and receive thy prize.

Well, I’m sorry to disappoint my spectators, but… it seems there will be no unmasking here today.

However, uh, my colleagues and I have conferred, and there is a problem on the board right now… that took us more than two years to prove.

So let this be said: The gauntlet has been thrown down, but the faculty have answered and answered with vigor.

[Car Alarm Screeches]

Hey, when’s the arraignment?

Next week.

[Chalk Clicking Chalkboard]



What are you doing?


That’s people’s work. You can’t graffiti here.

Don’t you walk away from me!

Hey, fuck you!

Oh, you’re a clever one. What’s your name?

[Door Closes]

Oh, my God.

Looks right.


Will, how retarded do you gotta be to get fired from that job?

I mean, how hard is it to push a motherfuckin’ broom around?

Bitch, you got fired from pushin’ a fuckin’ broom.

I got fired ’cause management was restructuring.

Yeah, restructuring the amount of retards they had workin’ for ’em.

Shut up. You get canned more than tuna, bitch.

At least I got a motherfuckin’ job right now, don’t I?


Why did you get fired, Will?

Management was restructuring.

My uncle could probably get you on a demo team.

Can he do that?

You kiddin’ me? I asked you yesterday if I could get a job.

And I told you “no” yesterday.

What’s up, Casey?

What’s up, Case?

What’s up, Big Case?

♪♪ [Rock]

Let’s sit over here.

Oh, this is— this is a Harvard bar, huh?

I thought there’d be, like, equations and shit on the walls.

I will take a pitcher of the finest lager in the house.

Time out. I’m gonna have to bust a little move on them Harvard honeys down the end of the bar.

Work some magic.

Get some potion for us.


Oh, hello.

Oh, hello.

Hi. How are ya?


So, do you ladies, uh—

Come here often?

Do I come here? I come here a bit.

I’m here, you know, from time to time.

Do you go to school here?


Yeah, that’s it. I think I had a class with you.

Oh, yeah. What class?



Yes, I think that’s what it was.

You don’t necessarily— may not remember me. You know, I like it here.

It doesn’t mean ’cause I go here, I’m a genius. I am very smart.


Hey, how’s it goin’? How are ya?

Good. How ya doin’?

What class did you say that was?

[Together] History.


Just history? It must have been a survey course then.

Yeah, it was. It was surveys.


You should check it out. It’s a good course. It’d be a good class.

How’d you like that course?

You know, frankly, I found that class, you know, rather elementary.


You know, I don’t doubt that it was.


I, uh— I remember that class.

It was, um— It was just between recess and lunch.

Clark, why don’t you go away?

Why don’t you relax?

Why don’t you go away?

I’m just havin’ fun with my new friend.

Are we gonna have a problem?

No, no, no, no. There’s no problem here.

I was just hoping you might give me some insight into the evolution… of the market economy in the southern colonies.

My contention is that prior to the Revolutionary War, the economic modalities— especially in the southern colonies — could most aptly be characterized as… agrarian precapitalist.

Let me tell you somethin’.

Of course that’s your contention. You’re a first-year grad student.

You just got finished readin’ some Marxian historian— Pete Garrison, probably—

You’re gonna be convinced of that till next month when you get to James Lemon.

Then you’re gonna be talkin’ about how the economies of Virginia and Pennsylvania… were entrepreneurial and capitalist way back in 1740.

That’s gonna last until next year. You’re gonna be in here regurgitatin’ Gordon Wood, talkin’ about, you know, the prerevolutionary utopia… and the capital-forming effects of military mobilization.

[Scoffs] Well, as a matter of fact, I won’t, because Wood drastically underestimates the impact of—

Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social distinctions… predicated upon wealth, especially inherited wealth?

You got that from Vickers’ Work in Essex County. Page 98, right?

I read that too. Were you gonna plagiarize the whole thing for us?

Do you have any thoughts of your own on this matter?

Or is that your thing? You come into a bar. You read some obscure passage.

Then pretend— Pawn it off as your own—

As your own idea just to impress some girls? Embarrass my friend?

See, the sad thing about a guy like you is, in 50 years, you’re gonna start doin’ some thinkin’ on your own.

You’re gonna come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life.

One: Don’t do that.

And two: You dropped 150 grand on a fuckin’ education… you could’ve got for $1.50 in late charges at the public library.


Yeah, but I will have a degree, and you’ll be servin’ my kids fries at a drive through on our way to a skiing trip.

Maybe, but at least I won’t be unoriginal.

If you have a problem with that, we could step outside. We could figure it out.

No, man, there’s no problem. It’s cool.

It’s cool?



Damn right, it’s cool.

How do you like me now?

My boy’s wicked smart.

You spend three minutes in this fuckin’ place, you run into a barney, huh?

There it is.

Nice to meet you.

They were fine, man.

I was gonna close the deal, but then Chuck— Billy insulted one of ’em—

The heavyset girl said I had a receding hairline, and I was a few pounds overweight.

And I was, like, “Go fuck yourself.”

I swallowed a bug.

[Chuckling] Hi.

You’re an idiot.


You’re an idiot. I’ve been sitting over there for 45 minutes… waiting for you to come and talk to me.

But I’m tired now, and I have to go home.

I couldn’t sit there anymore waiting for you.

I’m Will.



Oh, and by the way, that guy over there—Michael Bolton clone—

He wasn’t sitting with us, so to speak.

I know. I kinda got that impression.

Good. Okay.

Well, I’ve got to go.

Gotta get up early and waste some more money on my overpriced education.

No, I didn’t mean you.

That’s all right.

There’s my number. Maybe we can go out for coffee sometime.

All right, yeah. Maybe we could just get together and eat a bunch of caramels.

What do you mean?

When you think about it, it’s as arbitrary as drinkin’ coffee.

Oh. Yeah. Okay.

Uh, right, then.

Oh, come on. You’re kidding.



Fuck you, bitch!

Fuck you.

There goes them fuckin’ barneys right now with his skiin’ trip.

Hold up.

We should’ve beat that old bitch’s ass.

Do you like apples?



Well, I got her number! How do you like them apples?


♪ We arrived tonight ♪

♪ The miles were over me ♪

♪ I turned off the light ♪

♪ So, come on, night ♪

♪ Everyone who’s gone ♪

♪ Home to oblivion ♪

♪ So come on home ♪

♪ So come on by ♪♪


Excuse me? Is this the Buildings and Grounds office?

Yeah. What can I do for you?

I just need the name of a student who works here.

No students work for me.

Could you please check?

I have this guy who works in my building.

He’s about this high.

Which one is your building?


Two. Building two.

Look, if anything was stolen, I should know about it.

No, it’s nothing like that.

I just need his name.

I can’t give you his name unless you have a complaint.

This is Professor Lambeau.

And this is Professor Hayes.

Tom, please.

This is important. Please.

Willy didn’t show for work today.

[Sighs] Got this job through his P.O.. You can call him.


Yeah. Parole officer.

Thank you.



[Will] There is a lengthy legal precedent, Your Honor, going back to 1789, whereby a defendant can claim self-defense against an agent of the government… if that act is deemed a defense against tyranny, a defense of liberty.

[Clears Throat] Your Honor, Henry Ward Beecher, in Proverbs from the Plymouth Pulpit, 1887, said, quote—


Excuse me.

This is the 20th century.

He’s gonna make a mockery.

I am afforded the right to speak in my own defense, sir, by the Constitution of the United States.

Don’t tell me about the Constitution.

This guarantees my liberty.

“Liberty,” in case you’ve forgotten, is a soul’s right to breathe.

When it cannot take a long breath, laws are girded too tight.

Without liberty, man is a syncope.

Man is a what?

Ibid., Your Honor.

Son, my turn.

I’ve been sitting here for 10 minutes now lookin’ over this rap sheet of yours.

I just can’t believe it. June ’93, assault.

September ’93, assault.

Grand theft auto, February of ’94.

Where, apparently, you defended yourself and had the case thrown out by citing… “free property rights of horse and carriage” from 1798.

Joke. January ’95, impersonating an officer.

Mayhem, theft, resisting. All overturned.

I’m also aware that you’ve been through several foster homes.

The state removed you from three because of serious physical abuse.

You know, another judge might care, but you hit a cop. You’re going in.

Motion to dismiss is denied. $50,000 bail.

[Gavel Pounds]

Thank you.

[Woman] Court arise.



[Will] Uh, Skylar?


Hey, uh, it’s Will.


It’s Will.

You know, the really funny, good-looking guy you met at the bar the other night.

I don’t recall meeting anyone who matches that description. I think I’d remember.

Oh, all right, you got me. It’s the ugly, obnoxious, toothless loser… who got hammered and wouldn’t leave you alone all night.

Oh, Will! I remember.


How are you? I was wondering if you’d call me.

Yeah, look, I was wondering—

Yo, what’s up, baby?

Hold on one second.

What you doing? Want some of my ass?

Herve, I remember you from juvi. How you doing?

What you doing?

Oh, yeah, sorry about that.

I was wonderin’ maybe we could get together sometime this week.

Sit out at a café. Maybe have some caramels.

Oh, that sounds wonderful.


Yeah, sure. Where are you?

Uh, well, actually, this is just a shot in the dark, but, uh, there’s no chance that you’re pre-law, is there?

Have a seat.

Thank you.

Nice talking to ya.

What the fuck do you want?

I’m Gerald Lambeau.

The professor you told to fuck himself.

Well, what the fuck do you want?

I’ve spoken to the judge, and he’s agreed to release you under my supervision.



Under two conditions.

What are those?

First condition is that you meet with me every week.

What for?

Go over the proof you’re working on, get into some more advanced… combinatorial mathematics, finite math.

Sounds like a real hoot.

And the second condition is that—that you see a therapist.

I’m responsible to submit reports on those meetings.

If you fail to meet with any of those conditions, you will have to serve time.

All right. I’ll do the math, but I’m not gonna meet with any fuckin’ therapist.

It’s better than spending that time in jail, isn’t it?


[Clears Throat]

[Dog Barking]

I read your book, and “Mike” was havin’ the same problems… that “Chad,” the stockbroker, was havin’.

Absolutely right. Right on the button. Good for you, Will.

Very nice.

Thank you.

Will, the pressures— And I’m not judging them.

I’m not labeling them—

But they are destroying your potential.

No more shenanigans. No more tomfoolery. No more ballyhoo.

You’re right. God, I know.

You’re not gonna get off that easily. Come on, Will. A bit more.

-WeIl, I mean, I do do things, you know?

What— What kind of things?

I do things that, you know, I mean, I hide from people.

You hide, do you?

No, no. I mean, I like— I go places. I interact.

Really? What sort of places?

Just certain clubs.

More. That’s nice. Yes. What sort of clubs?

Like, uh, like Fantasy.

Fantasy. That’s nice. A bit more.

It’s something like when you get in there, the music, like, owns you.

It’s like that house music. It’s like— ♪ Bom, bom, bom ♪

♪ Bom-bom-bom Boom, boom, boom, boom ♪♪

You know, you start dancin’.

Boom, boom, boom. Yes.

It’s just—


[Chuckling, Sighing]

Do you find it hard to hide the fact that you’re gay?

[Stammering] What are you talking about? What?

Look, buddy, two seconds ago, you were ready to give me a jump.

A jump? Are you— [Laughing]

I’m terribly sorry to disappoint you.

Hey, I don’t have a problem with it. I don’t care if you putt from the rough.

What are you— P— Putting from the rough? What on earth are you talking about?

A difficult theorem can be like a symphony.

It’s very erotic.

[Therapist] You go some where else. I can’t handle this.


[Will] Thank you, Henry.

[Grunting] Ah, Henry.

Hi, Gerry.

You know something? I can’t do this pro bono work anymore.

It’s just not— It’s not worth it.

What happened?

Well, I’m going on national television next week.

I mean, I haven’t got time to tell you, much less talk to that raving Iooney in there.

An absolute lunatic, he is.

[Lambeau] Henry.

[Man] Okay, you are in your bed, Will.

Now, how old are you?


What do you see?

Something’s in my room.

What is it?

It’s like a— It’s a figure. It’s hoverin’ over me.

You are in a safe place, Will.

It’s t— [Sighs] It’s touchin’ me.

Where is it touching you?

It’s touching me down there, and I’m nervous.

You don’t have to be nervous, Will.

We start dancin’ and dancin’.

It’s just beautiful, ’cause we can make… a lot of love before the sun goes down.

♪ Skyrockets in flight ♪

♪ Afternoon delight ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey Afternoon delight ♪ -Jesus.

♪ Skyrockets in flight Da-da-da-da ♪

I’m sorry, Rich.

I have better things to do with my time.

♪ Hey, hey Afternoon delight ♪♪

Come on! One dance!

You really hypnotized me, you know?

For God’s sake, Will.

What? Oh, come on. He left. You can’t pin that on me.

I told you to cooperate with these people.

Look… into my eyes.

Get out, Will.

I don’t need therapy.

That’s enough. Get out!

[Imitating Spooky Sound]

I called Mel Weintraub this morning to see—

Oh, what’s the use?

What do you want to do?

[Sighs] Well, there is someone.

Who is he?

He used to be my, uh— my roommate in college.

Trust. Very important in a relationship.

It’s also very important in a clinical situation.

Why is trust the most important thing… in making a breakthrough with a client?

Maureen, stop the oral fixation for a moment and join us.

Vinnie. _ Um—

Because, uh—

Trust is, uh— Trust is life.

Wow. That’s very deep. Thank you, Vinnie.

[Professor] Next time, get the notes from your brother.

If a patient doesn’t feel safe enough to trust you, then they won’t be honest with you.

Then there’s really no point for them being in therapy.

I mean, hey, if they don’t trust you, you’re never gonna get them to sleep with you.

That should be the goal of any good therapist. Nail ’em while they’re vulnerable.

That’s my motto.


Oh, good, everyone’s back. Welcome back, everybody.

Hello, Sean.

Hey, Gerry.

Um, ladies and gentlemen, we are in the presence of greatness.

Professor Gerald Lambeau, Field’s medal winner for combinatorial mathematics.


Anyone know what the Field’s medal is?

It’s a really big deal. It’s like the Nobel prize for math.

Except they only give it out once every four years. It’s a great thing.

It’s an amazing honor. Okay, everybody, that’s it for today.

Thanks. We’ll see you Monday. We’ll be talking about Freud.

Why he did enough cocaine to kill a small horse. Thank you.

How are you?

It’s good to see you.

Good to see you.

Sean, I think I got something interesting for ya.


What, you have to have blood and urine? What’s up?

Why didn’t you come to the reunion?

You know, I’m— I’ve been busy.

You were missed.


So how long has it been since we’ve seen each other?

Before Nancy died.

Yeah, I’m sorry.

I was in Paris. It was that damn conference.

I got your card. It was nice.


Come here.

Now that’s a good takedown.

Hey, what happened? Did you get leniency or what?

I got, uh, probation and then counseling two days a week.

Joke. You’re a smoothie. Come on, Morgan! Just submit!



Hey, Bill, just-just get off him. We’re gonna miss the game.

I’ve got a full schedule. I’m very busy.

Sean, Sean.

This-This boy is incredible. I’ve never seen anything like him.

What makes him so incredible, Gerry?

You ever heard of Ramanujan?

Yeah, yeah. No.

It’s a man. He lived over 100 years ago. He was Indian.

Dots, not feathers.

Not feathers. Yeah.

He lived in this tiny hut somewhere in India.

He had no formal education.

He had no access to any scientific work.


You, sir?

Just a little.

But he came across this old math book,


and from this simple text, he was able to extrapolate theories… that had baffled mathematicians for years.

Yes. Continued fractions. He wrote, uh—

Well, he mailed it to Hardy at Cambridge.

Yeah, Cambridge. Yeah.

And Hardy immediately recognized the brilliance of his work…


…and brought him over to England and then they worked together for years, creating some of the most exciting math theory ever done.

This-This Ramanujan—

his-his genius was unparalleled, Sean.

Well, this boy’s just like that.


But he’s— he’s a bit defensive.


I need someone who can get through to him.

Like me?

Yeah, like you.


Well, because you have the same kind of background.

What background?

Well you’re from the same neighborhood.

He’s from Southie?


Boy genius from Southie.

How many shrinks you go to before me?


Let me guess. Barry? Henry? Not Rick?

Yeah. Yeah.

Sean, please, just meet with him once a week.



It’s a poker game with this kid. Don’t let him know what you’ve got.

He probably even read your book, if he could find it.

It’s gonna be hard for him to find.

Hi, Will.


This is Sean Maguire. Will Hunting.

How are ya?

Yeah. Let’s get started.

Yeah, let’s do it.

I’m pumped. Let’s let the healing begin.

Would you excuse us?

Yeah, please, Tom.

You, too, Gerry.

Yeah, of course.

How are you?

[Door Closes]

Where you from in Southie?

I like what you’ve done with the place.

Oh, thanks.

Do you buy all these books retail, or do you send away for, like, a “shrink kit” that comes with all these volumes included?

Do you like books?


Did you read any of these books?

I don’t know.

How about any of these books?

Probably not.

What about the ones on the top shelf? You read those?

Yeah, I read those.

Good for you. What do you think about ’em?

I’m not here for a fuckin’ book report. They’re your books. Why don’t you read ’em?

I did. I had to.

Must’ve taken you a long time.

Yeah, it did.

United States of America: A Complete History, Volume I.

Jesus. If you wanna read a real history book, read Howard Zinn’s A People’s History of the United States.

That book’ll fuckin’ knock you on your ass.

Better than Chomsky’s Manufacturing Consent?

Do you think that’s a good book?

You fuckin’ people baffle me.

You spend all your money on these fuckin’ fancy books. You surround yourselves with ’em.

They’re the wrong fuckin’ books.

What are the right fuckin’ books, Will?

Whatever blows your hair back.

Yeah. Haven’t got much hair left.

Hey, you know you’d be better off shoving that cigarette up your ass.

It’d probably be healthier for you.

Yeah, I know.

It really gets in the way of my yoga.

You work out, huh?

What, you lift?



No, free weights.

Oh, really? Free weights, huh?

Yeah. Yeah, big time.


Just like that.

What do you bench?

285. What do you bench?

You paint that?

Yeah. Do you paint?


Do you sculpt?


Do you like art?

Do you like music?

This is a real piece of shit.

Oh, tell me what you really think.

Just the linear and impressionistic mix makes a very muddled composition.

It’s also a Winslow Homer rip-off, except you got whitey rowin’ the boat there.

Well, it’s art, Monet. It wasn’t very good.

That’s not really what concerns me though.

What concerns you?

Just the coloring.

You know what the real bitch of it is?

It’s paint-by-number.

Is it color-by-number? Because the colors are fascinating to me.

Aren’t they really?

You bet.

I think you’re about one step away from cuttin’ your fuckin’ ear off.


Oh, yeah.

Think I should move to the south of France, change my name to “Vincent”?

You ever heard the sayin’, “any port in a storm”?


Yeah, maybe that means you.

In what way?

Maybe you’re in the middle of a storm, a big fuckin’ storm.

Yeah, maybe.

The sky’s fallin’ on your head. The waves are crashin’ over your little boat.

The oars are about to snap. [Sniffling]

You just piss in your pants. You’re cryin’ for the harbor.

So maybe you do what you gotta do to get out.

You know, maybe you became a psychologist.

Bingo. That’s it. Let me do my job now. You start with me. Come on.

Maybe you married the wrong woman.

Maybe you should watch your mouth!

Watch it right there, chief, all right?


That’s it, isn’t it?

You married the wrong woman.

What happened? What, did she leave you?

Was she, you know— [Whistling] banging some other guy?

If you ever disrespect my wife again, I will end you. I will fuckin’ end you.

Got that, chief?

Time’s up.


At ease, gentlemen.

You okay?

Look, I’ll understand if you don’t wanna meet with him again.

Thursday, 4:00. Make sure the kid’s here.




Well, you look lovely in those glasses.

Thank you very much.

They’re just beautiful.

Yes, I always wanted dark blue eye shadow.


Growing up in England, you know, I went to a very nice school.

You know, it was kind of progressive, organic, do-it-yourself, private school.

Then Harvard. Hopefully med school.

You know, I figured out, at the end, my brain’s gonna be worth $250,000.

That sounded horrible, didn’t it?


Bring me another mai tai!

Nah, that’s cool. I mean, I bet your parents were happy to pay.

No, I was happy to pay. I inherited the money.

Wow. Is Harvard gettin’ all that money?

No, Stanford. I’m going there inJune when I graduate.

All right, so you just wanted to use this sailor and then run away, huh?

I was gonna, you know, experiment on you for anatomy class first, obviously.

In that case, that’s fine.

Hey, you wanna see my magic trick, Skylar?

Of course.

All right. Promise to—

All right.

This one’s for you, Rudolph.

Wait, wait. You need my wand.

All right, give me a hit. Thank you. All right.

I’m gonna make all these caramels disappear.

You ready? Ready.

One, two, three.


[Chuckles] They’re all gone.

That was my— It works better when I have my rabbit.

Well— [Clears Throat]

I don’t really date, you know, that much.

How very unfortunate… I think for me. [Chuckling]

You know what I mean? I know you’ve been thinking about it.

Oh, no, I haven’t.

Yes, you have.

No, I really haven’t.

Yes, you have. You were hoping to get a good night kiss.

No, you know, I tell ya, I was hopin’ to get a good night lay.


But I’ll settle for, like, a kiss, you know?

How very noble of you.

Thank you.


No, I was— I was hopin’ for a kiss.

Well, I think we should just get it out of the way now.

Right now?


Come on.


I think I got some of your pickle.

You again, huh?

Come with me.

So what’s this? A Taster’s Choice moment between guys?

This is really nice. You got a thing for swans? Is this, like, a fetish?

Is it something, like, maybe we need to devote some time to?

Thought about what you said to me the other day. About my painting.


Stayed up half the night thinking about it. Something occurred to me. I fell into a deep, peaceful sleep and haven’t thought about you since. You know what occurred to me?


You’re just a kid. You don’t have the faintest idea what you’re talking about.

Why, thank you.

It’s all right. You’ve never been out of Boston.


So if I asked you about art, you’d probably give me the skinny… on every art book ever written. Michelangelo? You know a lot about him. Life’s work, political aspirations. Him and the pope. Sexual orientation. The whole works, right? I’ll bet you can’t tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling. Seen that.

If I ask you about women, you’ll probably give me a syllabus of your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can’t tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman… and feel truly happy.

You’re a tough kid. I ask you about war, you’d probably throw Shakespeare at me, right? “Once more into the breach, dear friends.” But you’ve never been near one. You’ve never held your best friend’s head in your lap… and watch him gasp his last breath lookin’ to you for help.

If I asked you about love, you’d probably quote me a sonnet, but you’ve never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes. Feelin’ like God put an angel on Earth just for you, who could rescue you from the depths of hell.

And you wouldn’t know what it’s like to be her angel, to have that love for her be there forever. Through anything. Through cancer.

And you wouldn’t know about sleepin’ sitin’ up in a hospital room… for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes… that the terms “visiting hours” don’t apply to you.

You don’t know about real loss, ’cause that only occurs when you love something more than you love yourself. I doubt you’ve ever dared to love anybody that much.

I look at you, I don’t see an intelligent, confident man. I see a cocky, scared shitless kid.

But you’re a genius, Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you.

But you presumed to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine. You ripped my fuckin’ life apart. You’re an orphan, right?

[Will nods]

Do you think I’d know the first thing about how hard your life has been—how you feel, who you are—because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally, I don’t give a shit about all that, because… You know what? I can’t learn anything from you… I can’t read in some fuckin’ book. Unless you wanna talk about you, who you are. And I’m fascinated. I’m in. But you don’t wanna do that, do you, sport? You’re terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief.



[Machinery Humming]


Hello? Hello?


Professor Valenti, are you calling me again?


Oh, fuck.

Christ, who did you call?

No one. I forgot the number.

You fuckin’ retarded?

You went all the way out there in the rain, and you didn’t bring the number?

No, it was your mother’s 900 number. I just ran out of quarters.

Why don’t we get off our mothers? I just got off yours.


[Billy] That’s pretty funny, Morgan.

That’s a fuckin’ nickel, bitch.

Keep antagonizing me. Watch what happens.

All right, then, Morgan.

Watch what happens.

All right, then, Morgan.

[Morgan] Keep fuckin’ with me.

No smoking.

What do you mean, he didn’t talk? You were in there for an hour.

He just sat there counting the seconds until the session was over.

Pretty impressive, actually.

Why would he do that?

To prove to me he doesn’t have to talk to me if he doesn’t want to.

What is this? Some kind of staring contest between two kids from the old neighborhood?

Yeah, it is, and I can’t talk first.

We know your theory, Alexander, but the boy’s found a simple geometrical picture.

A tree structure won’t work.

Look now. He’s joining the two vertices.

But I can do the sum.

It’s how you group the terms, Alexander.

But, Gerry.

If we do the whole thing this way, then—

Hey, look, look.

[Will] I wrote it down. It’s simpler this way

Sometimes people get lucky.

You’re a brilliant man.

[Door Closes]

♪♪ [Whistling]

You know, I was on this plane once, and I’m sitin’ there, and… the captain gets on, he does his whole, you know, “we’ll be cruisin’ at 35,000 feet,” but then he puts the mike down. He forgets to turn it off.


So he turns to the copilot. He’s, like, “You know, all I could use right now is a fuckin’ blowjob and a cup of coffee.”

So the stewardess fuckin’ goes bombin’ up from the back of the plane… to tell him the microphone’s still on. This guy in the back of the plane’s like, “Hey, hon, don’t forget the coffee.”

[Chuckling] You ever been on a plane?

No, but it’s a fuckin’ joke. It works better if I tell it in the first person.

Yeah, it does.

I have been laid, you know?

Really? Good for you.

Big time, big time.

Big time, huh?

I went on a date last week.

How’d it go?

It was good.

Goin’ out again?

I don’t know.

Why not?

Haven’t called her.

Christ, you’re an amateur.

I know what I’m doin’. Yeah. Don’t worry about me. I know what I’m doin’. Yeah, but this girl was, like, you know, beautiful. She’s smart. She’s fun. She’s different from most of the girls I’ve been with.

So call her up, Romeo.

Why? So I can realize she’s not that smart? That she’s fuckin’ boring? You know, I mean, you don’t— This girl’s, like, fuckin’ perfect right now. I don’t wanna ruin that.

Maybe you’re perfect right now. Maybe you don’t wanna ruin that.

But I think that’s a super philosophy, Will. That way, you can go through your entire life without ever having to really know anybody.

My wife used to fart when she was nervous. She had all sorts of wonderful idiosyncrasies. You know, she used to fart in her sleep.

Just thought I’d share that with you.

One night it was so loud, it woke the dog up.

[Both Laughing]

She woke up and gone, like, “Was that you?”

I said, “Yeah.” I didn’t have the heart to tell her. Oh, God.

She woke herself up? [Laughing]


Oh, Christ. But, Will, she’s been dead two years, and that’s the shit I remember.

It’s wonderful stuff, you know? Little things like that.

Yeah, but those are the things I miss the most. Those little idiosyncrasies that only I knew about. That’s what made her my wife. Boy, and she had the goods on me too. She knew all my little peccadillos.

People call these things “imperfections,” but they’re not.

That’s the good stuff.

And then we get to choose who we let into our weird little worlds. You’re not perfect, sport. And let me save you the suspense. This girl you met, she isn’t perfect either. But the question is whether or not you’re perfect for each other.

That’s the whole deal. That’s what intimacy is all about.

Now you can know everything in the world, sport, but the only way you’re findin’ out that one is by givin’ it a shot.

You certainly won’t learn from an old fucker like me.

Even if I did know, I wouldn’t tell a pissant like you.

[Chuckling] Yeah, why not?

You told me every other fuckin’ thing. Jesus Christ.

Fuckin’ talk more than any shrink I ever seen in my life.

I teach the shit. I didn’t say I knew how to do it.


[Sighs] You ever think about gettin’ remarried?

My wife’s dead.

Hence the word “remarried.”

She’s dead.

Yeah, well, I think that’s a super philosophy, Sean.

I mean, that way, you can actually go through the rest of your life… without ever really knowing anybody.

Time’s up.

Hold it open.




♪♪ [Piano]

[Woman] ♪ I am happy with you ♪

♪ I know I’m about to love you ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah You know him ♪

[Knocking] ♪ Oh, my, you made me— ♪♪

“G” minor seventh. Saddest of all chords.



Where have you been?

I’m sorry. I’ve been, like— I’ve been really busy, and—

[Clears Throat] But, um—

Mmm. Me too.

Yeah. I— I thought you’d call.

Yeah, um—

I mean, we had a really good time.

I had a really good time too.

I mean, I just— I— I’m sorry, you know. I blew it.

No. No, I mean, you know, it’s all right.

Yeah, um, so, I was wonderin’ if, uh, if, you know, you’d give me another crack at it.

You know, let me take you out again.

I can’t.

All right.

Oh, no, I didn’t— I didn’t mean I can’t, like, ever.

I just can’t right now.

I’ve got to assign the proton spectrum for “ebogamine.”

All that sounds really, really interesting. It’s actually fantastically boring.

All right, um—

Maybe some other time.

Like tomorrow?

Um, yeah, all right.





[Bell Tolling]


What are you doing here?

I couldn’t wait till tomorrow.

Where the fuck did you get this?

I had to sleep with someone in your class.

Oh, I hope it was the one with the open-toed sandals and the really bad breath.

Come on. Let’s go have some fun.

No, I’ve got to learn this.

Well, you’re not going into surgery tomorrow, are you?

Let’s go.


[Bell Rings]

[Crowd Shouting]

Oh, my God! My dog is winning!

Come on, Misty!

Come on! Run! Look at that! Come on!

Look, there he goes. Misty, run! Come on!

We won. [Laughs]

He totally won.

So did you grow up around here then?

Not far. South Boston.

Still glowing from my win.

Look at you. You’re so happy.

And what was that like then?

It was normal, I guess. Nothin’ special.

Do you got lots of brothers and sisters?

Do I have a lot of brothers and sisters?

That’s what I said.

Well, Irish Catholic, what do you think?

Right. That’s right.

How many?

You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.

Why? Go on. What? Five?


Seven? Eight? How many?

I have 12 big brothers.

You do not!

No, I swear to God. I swear to God. I’m lucky 13 right here.

Do you know all their names?

Do I— Yeah, they’re my brothers.

What are they called?

Marky, Ricky, Danny, Terry, Mikey, Davey, Timmy, Tommy, Joey, Robby, Johnny and Brian.

Say it again.

Marky, Ricky, Danny, Terry, Mikey, Davey, Timmy, Tommy, Joey, Robby, Johnny and Brian.

And Willy.





Do you still see all of them?

Yeah, well, they all live in Southie.

I’m livin’ with three of ’em right now.

Oh, yeah?


I’d like to meet them.

Yeah, we’ll do that.

Oh, you know, I read your book last night.

Oh, so you’re the one.


Do you still, uh— Do you still counsel veterans?

No, I don’t.

Why not?

Well, I gave it up when my wife got sick.

You ever wonder what your life would be like if you, uh, if you never met your wife?

What? Wonder if I’d be better off without her?

No, no, no, I’m not saying, like, better off.


I didn’t mean it like that.

It’s all right. It’s an important question.

’Cause you’ll have bad times, but that’ll always wake you up… to the good stuff you weren’t paying attention to.

And you don’t regret meetin’ your wife?

Why? ’Cause the pain I feel now? Oh, I got regrets, Will, but I don’t regret a single day I spent with her.

So when did you know, like, that she was the one for you?

October 21, 1975.

Jesus Christ. You know the fuckin’ day?

Oh, yeah, ’cause it was game six of the World Series, biggest game in Red Sox history.

Yeah, sure.

My friends and I had slept out all night to get tickets.

You got tickets?

Yep. Day of the game we’re was sitin’ in a bar, waitin’ for the game to start and in walks this girl.

It was an amazing game though. You know, bottom of the eighth, Carbo ties it up.

It was 6-6. It went to 12.

Bottom of the 12th, in stepped Carlton Fisk, old Pudge.

Steps up to the plate. You know, he’s got that weird stance.

Yeah, yeah.

And then— Boom! He clocks it, you know.

High fly ball down the left field line!

35,000 people on their feet, yellin’ at the ball.

But that’s nothin’, ’cause Fisk, he’s wavin’ at the ball like a madman.

Yeah, I’ve seen that.

“Get over! Get over!


Get over!”

Then it hits the foul pole. He goes ape-shit, and 35,000 fans—

They charge the field you know.

Yeah, and he’s fuckin’ blowin’ people outta the way.

“Get outta the way! Get outta the way!”

I can’t fuckin’ believe you had tickets to that fuckin’ game!

Did you rush the field?

No, I didn’t rush the fuckin’ field. I wasn’t there.


No, I was in a bar, havin’ a drink with my future wife.

You missed Pudge Fisk’s home run to have a fuckin’ drink with some lady you never met?

Yeah, but you should have seen her. She was a stunner.

I don’t care if—

Oh, no, no, she lit up the room.

I don’t care if Helen of Troy walks into the room.

Oh, Helen of Troy!

That’s game six! Oh, my God, and who were these friends of yours?

They let you get away with that?

They had to.

What did you say to ’em?

I just slid my ticket across the table.

I said, “Sorry, guys. I gotta see about a girl.”

“I gotta go see about a girl”?


That’s what you said? They let you get away with that?

Oh, yeah. They saw in my eyes that I meant it.

You’re kiddin’ me?

No, I’m not kidding you, Will.

That’s why I’m not talkin’ right now about some girl I saw at a bar 20 years ago… and how I always regretted not goin’ over and talkin’ to her.

I don’t regret the 18 years I was married to Nancy.

I don’t regret the six years I had to give up counseling when she got sick, and I don’t regret the last years when she got really sick.

And I sure as hell don’t regret missin’ a damn game.

That’s regret.



Would have been nice to catch that game though.

I didn’t know Pudge was gonna hit a home run.

[Both Laughing]

You know, I’m very, very useful on the court.

I’m extremely tall.

You’re not that tall.

I dunk.


Will I ever play in the N.B.A.?

“It is decidedly so.” Hmph.

Why do we always stay here?

’Cause it’s nicer than my place.

Yes, but I’ve never seen your place.

I know. [Laughs]

When am I gonna meet your friends and your brothers?

Well, they don’t really come down here that much.

I think I can make it to South Boston.

It’s kind of a hike.

Is it me you’re hiding from them or the other way around?

All right, we’ll go.


I don’t know. We’ll go sometime next week.

What If I said I would not sleep with you again until you let me meet your friends?


I’d say it’s, like, 4:30 in the mornin’. They’re probably up.

Oh, my God. Men are shameless.

If you’re not thinking with your wiener, then you’re acting directly on its behalf.

You bet. And on behalf of my wiener, can I get an advance payment?

I don’t know. Let’s ask. “Outlook does not look good.”

[Chuck On Phone] What?

Fuck the— Hey, Chuck. No. Nothing Go back to sleep.

“Outlook”? That’s the same thing that told you you was gonna play in the N.B.A.

Exactly, so look out. You’d better start buying some season tickets.

Mmm! I plan to. I’m tall. I like wearing shorts.

Hook, hook. Dunk, dunk.

You’re not that tall.

Yes, I am.

Maybe I’m all about three points.

I’m all about home runs.

[Laughs] Stop mixing your sporting metaphors.


A leprechaun’s got his dick in the monkey’s ass.

A leprechaun’s got his dick in the monkey’s ass.

A leprechaun’s got his dick in the monkey’s ass.

Morgan comes runin’ in, goin’, “I don’t mind it. I don’t mind—”


Well, I can’t believe you brought Skylar here when we’re fuckin’ all bombed and drinkin’.

I know, Morgan. It’s a real rarity we be all drinkin’.

My uncle Marty drinks. He’ll go on a bender for six, eight months.

Did I ever tell ya what happened to him when he was drivin’ up there and got pulled over?

I told you guys, right?

Marty, yeah.

Let me tell ya what happened to my uncle Marty, because you oughta know this.

He’s always tellin’ stories. Every time we come here he’s got another story.

But we all heard this one. Go ahead. Say it anyway.

I will go ahead. Thanks a lot. Guess I have the floor now.

My uncle Marty’s drivin’ home, right?

Bombed out of his tree, right? Just hammered out of his gourd. Just wrecked.

This state trooper sees him, pulls him over. So my uncle is fucked basically.

Got him out of the car, tryin’ to make him walk the line.

He gets out of the car, pukes, and the statie’s pretty sure he’s over the legal limit.

So he’s about to throw the cuffs on him and put him in jail.

All of a sudden, 50 yards down the road, there’s this huge fuckin’ boom.

Statie gets real spooked. He turns around—

A gunshot?

No. So— So— You heard this story before.

Yeah, Morgan, stop. Stop.

Some other guy’s car had hit a tree. There was an accident.

[Coughs] Anyway—

How could he hear—

Shut the fuck up!

You’re drivin’ him nuts.

I’m gonna break your neck. Shut up!

He told you the story once before.

So he tells my uncle, “Stay here. Don’t move.”

Statie goes runin’ down the road to deal with the other accident.

After a few minutes of just lyin’ in his own piss and vomit, my uncle starts wonderin’ what he’s doin’ there.

Gets up, gets in his car and just drives home.

The next mornin’ my uncle’s just passed out.

He hears this knockin’ at the door.


So he goes downstairs, pulls the door open— “What?”

It’s the state trooper that pulled him over.

Statie says, “Fuck you mean, ‘What?’ You know what. I pulled you over last night is what, and you took off.”

He’s like, “I never seen you before in my life. I’ve been home all night with my kids. I don’t know who the fuck you are.”

He’s like, “You know who I am. Let me get in your garage.”

My uncle’s like, “What?”

He said, “You heard me. Let me get in your garage.”

He was like, “All right. Fine.” Takes him out to the garage, opens the door. And there’s— The statie’s police cruiser is in my uncle’s garage.

[Morgan Laughing]

He was so fuckin’— He was so fuckin’ hammered he drove the wrong car home. The best part about it is, the fuckin’ state trooper… was so embarrassed he didn’t do anything. He’d been drivin’ around all night in my uncle’s Chevelle, lookin’ for the house.

All right, Chuck, what the fuck is the point of your story?

He got away. That’s the point.

Well, question—

Come on. Stop.

I’m tryin’ to clarify somethin’.

You’re embarrassing.

It doesn’t make any sense.

It does make sense, if you listen to the story and quit askin’ questions.

Morgan, let’s see if you can get this one. I’ve got a little story for you. All right, there’s an old couple in bed, Mary and Paddie. They wake up on the morning of their 50th anniversary. Mary looks over and gazes adoringly at Paddie.

She’s like, “Oh, Jesus, Paddie. You’re such a good-looking feller. I love ya. I want to give ya a little present. Anything your little heart desires, I’m goin’ to give it to ya. What would ya like?”

Paddie’s like, “Oh, gee, Mary. That’s a very sweet offer. Now, in 50 years, there’s one thing that’s been missing, and, uh, I would like you to give me a blowjob. I would like one.”

Mary’s like, “All right.”

She takes her teeth out, puts ’em in the glass. She gives him a blow job.

Afterwards, Paddie’s like, “Yeah, geez, now that’s what I’ve been missin’. That was the most beautiful, earth-shattering thing ever! Beautiful, Mary! I love ya! Is there anything that I can do for you?”

Mary looks up to him and she goes, “Give us a kiss.”


Oh, my God!

That’s filthy.

[Morgan] It’s not that filthy. I’ve heard filthier.


Get off of me!

All right. See you guys later.

All right. Take it easy, Bill.

So, Skylar, thanks for comin’ by.

Changed my opinion of Harvard people.

You don’t want to rush to judgment on that one, ’cause they’re not all like me.

Oh. I’m sure. It was nice to meet ya.


Take it easy. Slowly back away.

Oh, come on. Brother.

I don’t know what you’re doin’, dude.

You’re givin’ us a ride.

What the fuck do I look like to you?

Come on, Chuck.

You’re walkin’, bitch. Will’s takin’ the car.

All right, thanks, sucker. I appreciate it.

I don’t know what you’re gettin’ all serious about.

You’re droppin’ me off first.

It’s really out of the way.

Oh, okay. Just ’cause you don’t have to sleep in your one-room palace tonight… don’t start thinkin’ you’re bad.

Hey, wait a minute. You said we were gonna see your place.

Not tonight.

Oh, no, not tonight. Not any other night.

He knows once you see that shit-hole, he’s gettin’ dropped like a bad habit.

But I wanted to meet your brothers.

We’re gonna do that another time.

All right.

Need them keys.

The stewardess hears this, and goes haulin’ ass down the aisle.

I yell, “Don’t forget the coffee.”

Bullshit! You didn’t say that.

For Christ’s sake, Marty, it’s a joke.

I know someone that actually happened to, Marty.

A joke.



Have trouble findin’ the place?

No, I took a cab.

Timmy, this is Gerry. We went to college together.

How you doin’? Nice to meet ya.

Pleased to meet you.

Can I get you a beer?

Um, no, just a Perrier.

That’s French for club soda.

Club soda, yeah.

Couple of sandwiches too.


Put it on my tab.

You ever plannin’ on payin’ your tab?

Yeah, chief, got the winning lottery ticket right here.

What’s the jackpot?

Twelve million.

I don’t think that’ll cover it.

It’ll cover your sex change operation.


No, thank you.

So, you wanted to talk about Will.

Well, it seems to be going well.

I think so.

Have you talked to him at all about his future?

No, we haven’t gotten into that yet. We’re still bangin’ away at the past.

Maybe you should. My phone’s been ringing off the hook with job offers.

What kind?

Cutting edge mathematics, think tanks.

The kind of place where a mind like Will’s is given free rein.

That’s great that there are offers, but I don’t really think he’s ready for that.

I’m not sure you understand, Sean.

What don’t I understand?

Here you go, guys.

Thanks, Tim.

Yeah, thank you.

Just so you don’t get sticky fingers.

Tim, can you help us?

We’re tryin’ to settle a bet.


Ever heard of Jonas Salk?

Sure. Cured polio.

Ever heard of Albert Einstein?


[Pool Balls Clattering]

How about Gerald Lambeau? Ever heard of him?


Thank you, Tim.

So who won the bet?

I did.

This isn’t about me, Sean.

I’m nothing compared to this young man.

You ever hear of Gerald Lambeau?

In 1905, there were hundreds of professors renowned for their study of the universe.

But it was a 26-year-old Swiss patent clerk, doing physics in his spare time, who changed the world.

Can you imagine if Einstein would have given that up… just to get drunk with his buddies in Vienna every night?

We all would have lost something.

Tim would never have heard of him.

Pretty dramatic, Gerry.

No, it isn’t, Sean.

This boy has that gift.

He just hasn’t got the direction, but we can give that to him.

Hey, Gerry, in the 1960s, there was a young man graduated from University of Michigan.

Did some brilliant work in mathematics.

Specifically, bounded harmonic functions.

Then he went on to Berkeley. He was assistant professor. Showed amazing potential.

Then he moved to Montana, and he blew the competition away.

Yeah, so who was he?

Ted Kaczynski.

Haven’t heard of him.

Hey, Timmy!


Who’s Ted Kaczynski?


That’s exactly what I’m talking about.

We gotta give this kid direction.


He can contribute to the world, and we can help him do that.

Direction’s one thing. Manipulation’s another.


We have to let him find—

I’m not sitting at home every night twisting my mustache and hatching a plan… to ruin this boy’s life!

I was doing advanced mathematics when I was 18, and it still took me over 20 years to do something worthy of a Field’s medal.

Maybe he doesn’t want what you want.

There’s more to life than a fuckin’ Field’s medal.

This is too important, Sean, and it’s above personal rivalry.

Wait a minute. Let’s talk about the boy.

Why don’t we give him time to figure out what he wants?

That’s a wonderful theory, Sean. It worked wonders for you, didn’t it?

Yeah, it did, you arrogant fuckin’ prick!

Oh, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I came here today.

I came here out of courtesy. I wanted to keep you in the loop.

Nice to be in the loop.

The boy’s in a meeting right now I set up for him over at McNeil.

Well, Will, I’m not exactly sure what you mean.

We’ve already offered you a position.

Nobody in this town works without a retainer, guys.

You think you can find somebody who does, you have my blessin’.

But I think we all know that person is not gonna represent you as well as I can.

Will, our offer is $84,000 a year.

Retainer! Retainer.

You want us to give you cash right now?

Whoa-ho-ho. Easy— Now, I didn’t say that.

Allegedly, your situation, for you, would be concurrently improved if I had…

$200 in my back pocket right now.

[Clears Throat] I don’t think I can— Larry?

I’ve got $73.

Will you take a check?

Let me tell you somethin’. You’re suspect.

Yeah, you. I don’t know what your reputation is in this town, but after the shit you tried to pull today, you can bet I’ll be lookin’ into you.

Now, any business we have heretofore, you can speak with my aforementioned attorney.

Good day, gentlemen.

And until that day comes, keep your ear to the grindstone.


How’s it goin’?




Want some help?


Come on. Give me one little peek, and we’ll go to the batting cages.


It is actually important that I learn this.

It’s really important… to me, okay?

All right.

Why don’t we just hang out here all day?

Yes, why don’t we?

All right, Mr. Nosey Parker.


Seeing as you’re intent on breaking my balls, let me ask you a question.

All right.

Do you have a photographic memory?

I don’t know. I just kind of remember. I mean, how do you remember your phone number?

You just do.

Have you studied organic chemistry?

A little bit.

Oh, just for fun?

Yeah, for kicks.

Yeah, it’s so much fun studying organic chemistry.

Are you mad?


Have you completely lost your mind?

Nobody studies it for fun. It’s not a necessity, especially for someone like you.

Someone like me?


Someone who divides their time, fairly evenly, between batting cages and bars.

I would hardly say it was a necessity.


You know, there are very smart people here at Harvard.

Even they have to study, because this is really hard.

And yet… you do it so easily. I don’t understand.

I don’t understand how your mind works.

Do you play the piano?

I want to talk about this.

No, I’m trying to explain it to you. Do you play the piano?

Yeah, a bit.

So when you look at a piano, you see Mozart.

I see “Chopsticks.”

All right, well, Beethoven, okay?

He looked at a piano, and it just made sense to him. He could just play.

So what are you saying? You play the piano?

Not a lick.

I look at a piano, I see a bunch of keys, three pedals and a box of wood.

But Beethoven, Mozart— They saw it. They could just play.

I couldn’t paint you a picture. I probably can’t hit the ball out of Fenway.

And I can’t play the piano.

But you can do my O-chem paper in under an hour.

Right. Well, I mean, when it came to stuff like that, I could always just play.

That’s the best I can explain it.

Come here. I have to tell you something.


I have to tell you something.



It’s not fair.

What’s not fair? What?

I’ve been here for four years, and I’ve only just found you.

Well, you found me.

Are you awake?


Yes, you are.

Will, come to California with me.


I want you to come to California with me.

You sure about that?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, but how do you know?

I don’t know. I just know.

Yeah, but how do you know?

I know because I feel it.

Because that’s a really serious thing you’re saying.

I know.

You could be in California next week… and you might find out something about me you don’t like.

Maybe you wish you hadn’t said that, but you know it’s such a serious thing you can’t take it back.

Now I’m stuck in California with someone that doesn’t really want to be with me, just wish they had a take-back.

A what? What’s a take-back?

I don’t want a take-back. I just want you to come to California with me.

Well, I can’t go to California with you, so—

Why not?

Well, one, because I got a job here.

And, two, because I live here.

Look, um, if you don’t love me, you should just tell me.

I’m not sayin’ I don’t love you.

Then why? Why won’t you come? What are you so scared of?

What am I so scared of?

Well, what aren’t you scared of?

You live in this safe little world where no one challenges you—

Don’t tell me about my world. Don’t tell me about my world.

You just want to have your little fling with the guy from the other side of town.

Then you’re gonna go off to Stanford. You’re gonna marry some rich prick… who your parents will approve of… and just sit around with the other trust fund babies… and talk about how you went slummin’, too, once.

Why are you saying this? What is your obsession with this money?

My father died when I was 13, and I inherited this money.

You don’t think every day I wake up, and I wish I could give it back?

That I would give it back in a second, if it meant I could have one more day with him.

But I can’t, and that’s my life, and I deal with it.

So don’t put your shit on me when you’re the one that’s afraid.

I’m afraid? What am I afraid of? What the fuck am I afraid of?

You’re afraid of me. You’re afraid that I won’t love you back.

You know what? I’m afraid too.

But fuck it, I want to give it a shot. At least I’m honest with you.

I’m not honest with you?

No, what about your 12 brothers?

All right.

[Belt Buckle Jingles]

No, you’re not going. You’re not leaving.

What do you want to know? That I don’t have 12 brothers? That I’m a fuckin’ orphan?

You don’t want to hear that.

I didn’t know that.

You don’t want to hear I got fuckin’ cigarettes put out on me when I was little.

I didn’t know that.

That this isn’t fuckin’ surgery.

The motherfucker stabbed me. You don’t want to hear that shit, Skylar!

I do want to hear that.

Don’t tell me you want to hear that shit!

I want to help you.

Help me? What the fuck?

What do I got, a fuckin’ sign on my back that says, “Save me”?


Do I look like I need that?

No, I just want to be with you—

Don’t bullshit me!

I love you.

Don’t bullshit me! Don’t you fuckin’ bullshit me!

I love you.

I want to hear you say that you don’t love me.

Because if you say that… then I won’t call you… and I won’t be in your life.


I don’t love you.


Most people never get to see how brilliant they can be.

They don’t find teachers who believe in them.

They get convinced they’re stupid.

I hope you appreciate what he’s doing, because I’ve seen how much he enjoys working with you, not against you.

Hello, Will.

Tom, can you get us some coffee?


Now, let’s see. [Clears Throat]

Good. This is correct.

I see you used Maclaurin here.

Yeah, I don’t know what you call it, but—

This can’t be right.

This would be very embarrassing.

Did you ever consider—

I’m pretty sure it’s right.

Hey, look, can we do this at Sean’s office from now on?

Because I got to knock off work to come here and the commute is killin’ me.

Yeah, sure. Did you think of the possibility—

It’s right.

It’s right. Just take it home with you.

What happened at the McNeil meeting?

l couldn’t go. I had a date.

So I sent my chief negotiator.

On your own time, you can do whatever you like, Will.

But when I set up a meeting with my associates, and you don’t show up, it reflects poorly on me.

Then don’t set up any more meetings.

I won’t.

I’II cancel ’em.

I’ll give you a job myself. I just wanted you to see what was out there.

Maybe I don’t want to spend the rest of my fuckin’ life explainin’ shit to people.

I think you could show me some appreciation.

A little appreciation? Do you know how easy this is for me?

Do you have any fuckin’ idea how easy this is? This is a fuckin’ joke.

I’m sorry you can’t do this— I really am—

Because I wouldn’t have to fuckin’ sit here and watch you fumble around and fuck it up.

Then you’d have more time to sit around and get drunk instead, wouldn’t you?

You’re right. This is probably a total waste of my time.

You’re right, Will.

I can’t do this proof, but you can.

And when it comes to that, it’s only about just a handful of people in the world… who can tell the difference between you and me.

But I’m one of them.


Yeah, so am I.

Most days I wish I never met you, because then I could sleep at night.

I don’t have to walk around with the knowledge that there was someone like you out there.

[Door Closes]

And I didn’t have to watch you throw it all away.

[Dog Barking]

♪♪ [Plunking Notes]

Bill, hold it. Did you hear that?

[Man Moaning]


If you’re watchin’ pornos in my mom’s room again, I’m gonna give you a fuckin’ beatin’!

[Door Closes]

[Footsteps Running Downstairs]

[Panting] What’s up, fellas?

Morgan, why don’t you jerk off in your own fuckin ’house. That’s fuckin ’ filthy.

I don’t have a V.C.R. in my house.

Come on. Not in my glove.

I didn’t use the glove.

That’s my Little League glove.

What do you want me to do?

I mean, what’s wrong with you?

You’ll hump a baseball glove?

I-I just used it for cleanup.


Stop jerkin’ off in my mother’s room.

Is there another V.C.R. in the house?

It’s just sad, bro.

So why do you think I should work for the National Security Agency?

Well, you’d be working on the cutting edge.

You’d be exposed to the kind of technology you wouldn’t see anywhere else, because we’ve classified it.

Superstring theory, chaos math, advanced algorithms.

Code breaking.

That’s one aspect of what we do.

Oh, come on. That is what you do.

You guys handle 80% of the intelligence workload.

You’re seven times the size of the C.I.A.

We don’t like to brag about that, Will, but you’re exactly right.

So the way I see it, the question isn’t: “Why should you work for the N.S.A.?”

The question is: “Why shouldn’t you?”

Why shouldn’t I work for the N.S.A.? That’s a tough one, but I’ll take a shot. Say I’m workin’ at the N.S.A. and somebody puts a code on my desk. Something no one else can break. Maybe I take a shot at it, and maybe I break it. I’m real happy with myself because I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels are hidin’. Fifteen hundred people that I never met, never had no problem with, get killed. Now the politicians are saying, “Send in the Marines to secure the area,” ’cause they don’t give a shit. It won’t be their kid over there gettin’ shot, just like it wasn’t them when their number got called ’cause they were in the National Guard. It’ll be some kid from Southie over there takin’ shrapnel in the ass. He comes back to find the plant he used to work at… got exported to the country he got back from, and the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job… ’cause he’ll work for 15 cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile, he realizes the only reason he was over there in the first place… was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. Of course, the oil companies used a skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices. A cute little ancillary benefit for them, but it ain’t helpin’ my buddy at 2.50 a gallon. They’re takin’ their sweet time bringin’ the oil, of course. Maybe they even took the liberty to hire an alcoholic skipper, who likes to drink martinis and fuckin’ play slalom with the icebergs. It ain’t too long till he hits one, spills the oil… and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So now my buddy’s out of work, he can’t afford to drive, so he’s walkin’ to the fuckin’ job interviews… which sucks because the shrapnel in his ass is givin’ him chronic hemorrhoids. Meanwhile, he’s starvin’, ’cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat, the only blue plate special they’re servin’… is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what did I think? I’m holdin’ out for somethin’ better. I figure, fuck it. While I’m at it, why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I can be elected president.

You feel like you’re alone?


Do you have a soul mate?

Do I have a— Define that.

Somebody who challenges you.

Uh, Chuckie.

No, Chuckie’s family He’d lie down in fuckin’ traffic for you.

I’m talking about someone who opens up things for you, touches your soul.

I got— I got—


I got plenty.

Well, name ’em.

Shakespeare, Nietzsche, Frost, O’Connor, Kant, Pope, Locke—

That’s great. They’re all dead.

Not to me they’re not.

You don’t have a lot of dialogue with them.

You can’t give back to them, Will.

Not without some serious smelling salts and a heater.

That’s what I’m saying.

You’ll never have that kind of relationship in a world… where you’re always afraid to take the first step, because all you see is every negative thing 10 miles down the road.

You gonna take the professor’s side on this?

Don’t give me a line of shit.


I didn’t want the job.

It’s not about the job. I don’t care if you work for the government.

But you can do anything you want. You are bound by nothing.

What are you passionate about? What do you want?

There are guys who work their entire life layin’ brick… so their kids have a chance at the opportunities you have here.

I didn’t ask for this.


You were born with it, so don’t cop out behind: “I didn’t ask for this.”

What do you mean, cop out? What’s wrong with layin’ brick?


There’s nothin’ wrong. That’s somebody’s home I’m buildin’.

Right. My dad laid brick, okay?

Busted his ass so I could have an education.

Exactly. That’s an honorable profession.

What’s wrong with fixin’ somebody’s car?

Someone will get to work the next day because of me. That’s honor in that.

Yeah, there is, Will. There is honor in that.

There’s honor in takin’ that 40-minute train ride… so those college kids could come in in the morning and their floors are clean.

And their wastebaskets are empty. That’s real work.

That’s right.

And that’s honorable. I’m sure that’s why you took that job.

I mean, for the honor of it.

I just have a little question here. You could be a janitor anywhere.

Why did you work at the most prestigious technical college in the whole fuckin’ world?

Why did you sneak around at night and finish other people’s formulas… that only one or two people in the world could do and then lie about it?

’Cause I don’t see a lot of honor in that, Will.

So what do you really wanna do?

I wanna be a shepherd.


I wanna move up to Nashua, get a nice little spread, get some sheep and tend to them.

Maybe you should go do that.


You know, if you’re gonna jerk off, why don’t you just do it at home with a moist towel?

You’re chuckin’ me?

Yeah, get the fuck outta here.

-No, no, no, time’s not up yet.

Yeah, it is.

I’m not leavin’. No.

You’re not gonna answer, you’re wastin’ my time.

I thought we were friends.

Playtime’s over, okay?

Why are you kickin’ me out?

You’re lecturin’ me on life? Look at you, you fuckin’ burnout.

What winds your clock?

Workin’ with you.

Where’s your soul mate? You wanna talk about soul mates? Where is she?


That’s right. She’s fuckin’ dead.

She fuckin’ dies and you just cash in your chips and you walk away?

At least I played a hand.

You played a hand and you lost. You lost a big fuckin’ hand.

Some people will lose a big hand like that and have the sack to ante up again.

Look at me. What do you wanna do?

You and your bullshit. You got a bullshit answer for everybody.

But I ask you a very simple question, and you can’t give me a straight answer, because you don’t know.

I’ll see ya, Bo-peep.

Fuck you.

You’re the shepherd.


[Whispers] White little prick.

I just wanted to, you know, um, call you up, uh, before you left, um—

I’ve been takin’ all these job interviews and stuff, so I’m not gonna be just a construction worker.

Well, you know, I never really cared about that.


I love you.


You take care.

♪ Someone’s always comin’ around here ♪

♪ Trailin’ some new kill ♪


♪ Says, I seen your picture on a hundred-dollar bill ♪

♪ What’s a game of chance to you ♪

♪ In this world ♪

♪ Of real skill ♪

♪ So glad to meet ya ♪

♪ Angeles ♪

♪ Pickin’ up the ticket shows there’s money to be made ♪

♪ Go on, lose the gamble ♪

♪ That’s the history of the trade ♪

♪ Did you add up all the cards left to play ♪

♪ To zero ♪

♪ And sign up with people ♪

♪ Angeles ♪

♪ Don’t start with me tryin’ ♪

Will, come on. Will!

Will, that’s it! We’re done!

I’m sitting in your office, and the boy isn’t here.

Well, it’s 10 past 5:00.

An hour and 10 minutes late.

♪ I can make you satisfied in everything ♪

Well, if he doesn’t show up, and I file a report saying he wasn’t here… and he goes back to jail, it won’t be on my conscience.

♪ Now be coming true ♪♪

Okay. Fine.

What’s up?


Ah! Fuck, that’s good.

So how’s your lady?

Ah, she’s gone.

Gone? Gone where?

Med school. Medical school in California.



When was this?

It was, like, a week ago.

That sucks.

So, uh, when are you done with those meetings?

I think the week after I’m 21.

They gonna hook ya up with a job or what?

Yeah, fuckin’ sit in a room and do long division for the next 50 years.

Nah, probably make some nice bank though.

I’m gonna be a fuckin’ lab rat.

Better than this shit. Way outta here.

What do I want a way outta here for?

I mean, I’m gonna fuckin’ live here the rest of my life.

You know, be neighbors. You know, have little kids.

Fuckin’ take ’em to Little League together up Foley Field.

Look, you’re my best friend, so don’t take this the wrong way.

But in 20 years if you’re still livin’ here, comin’ over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin’ construction, I’II fuckin’ kill ya.

That’s not a threat. That’s a fact. I’II fuckin’ kill ya.

What the fuck are you talkin’ about?

Look, you got something none of us have.

Oh, come on!

Why is it always this? I fuckin’ owe it to myself to do this or that.

What if I don’t want to?

No, no, no. Fuck you. You don’t owe it to yourself.

You owe it to me, ’cause tomorrow I’m gonna wake up and I’ll be 50, and I’ll still be doin’ this shit.

That’s all right. That’s fine.

I mean, you’re sitin’ on a winnin’ lottery ticket.

You’re too much of a pussy to cash it in, and that’s bullshit.

’Cause I’d do fuckin’ anything to have what you got.

So would any of these fuckin’ guys.

It’d be an insult to us if you’re still here in 20 years.

Hangin’ around here is a fuckin’ waste of your time.

You don’t know that.

I don’t?

No. You don’t know that.

Oh, I don’t know that. Let me tell you what I do know.

Every day I come by your house, and I pick you up.

We go out and have a few drinks and few laughs, and it’s great.

You know what the best part of my day is?

It’s for about 10 seconds: from when I pull up to the curb and when I get to your door.

’Cause I think maybe I’ll get up there and I’ll knock on the door, and you won’t be there.

No “good-bye,” no “see ya later.” No nothing. You just left.

I don’t know much, but I know that.


This is a disaster, Sean.

I brought you in here because I wanted you to help me with the boy, not to run him out.

I know what I’m doing with the boy.

I don’t care if you have a rapport with the boy!

I don’t care if you have a few laughs, even at my expense.

But don’t you dare undermine what I’m trying to do here.


This boy is at a fragile point right now.

I do understand. He is at a fragile point. He’s got problems.

What problems does he have? That he’s better off as a janitor, in jail?

Better hanging out with a bunch of retarded gorillas?

Why do you think he does that? You have any fuckin’ clue why?

He can handle the problems. He can handle the work. He obviously handled you.

Listen to me. Why is he hiding?

Why doesn’t he trust anybody?

Because the first thing that happened to him, he was abandoned by the people who were supposed to love him the most.

Don’t give me that Freudian crap.

Why does he hang out with those retarded gorillas, as you call them?

Because any one of them, if he asked them to, would take a bat to your head.

That’s called loyalty.

Yeah, that’s very touching.

Who’s he handling? He pushes people away before they have a chance to leave him.

It’s a defense mechanism, all right?

For 20 years, he’s been alone because of that.

If you push him right now, it’s gonna be the same thing all over again.

I’m not gonna let that happen to him.

Don’t you do that.


Don’t infect him with the idea that it’s okay to quit, that it’s okay to be a failure.

Because it’s not okay, Sean!

And if you’re angry at me for being successful, for being what you could have been—

I’m not angry at you.

Oh, yes, you’re angry at me.

You resent me, but I’m not gonna apologize for any success I’ve had.

You’re angry at me for doing what you could have done!

But ask yourself, Sean— Ask yourself…

if you want Will to feel that way— if you want him to feel like a failure?

You arrogant shit!

That’s why I don’t come to the goddamn reunions, ’cause I can’t stand that look in your eye.

That condescending, embarrassed look.

Oh, come on, Sean.

You think I’m a failure. I know who I am.

I’m proud of what I do. It was a conscious choice. I didn’t fuck up!

And you and your cronies think I’m some sort of pity case.

You and your kiss-ass chorus following you around going, “The Field’s medal!”

Why are you still so fuckin’ afraid of failure?

It’s about my medal, isn’t it? Oh, God, I could go home and get it for you. You can have it.

Shove the medal up your fuckin’ ass, all right?

’Cause I don’t give a shit about your medal, because I knew you before you were a mathematical god, when you were pimple-faced and homesick and didn’t know what side of the bed to piss on.

Yeah, you were smarter than me then, and you’re smarter than me now.

So don’t blame me for how your life turned out.

I don’t blame you! It’s not about you!

You mathematical dick! It’s about the boy!

He’s a good kid! And I won’t see you fuck him up like you’re tryin’ to fuck up me right now.

I won’t see you make him feel like a failure too!

He won’t be a failure!

But if you push him! If you ride him!

I am what I am today because I was pushed and because I learned to push myself.

He’s not you! You get that?

I can come back.

No, come in. Uh, I was just leaving.

A lot of that stuff goes back a long way between me and him.

You know. Not about you.

[Paper Rustles ]

What is that?

This is your file. I have to send it back to the judge for evaluation.

Oh. Hey, you’re not gonna fail me, are you?

What’s it say?

Wanna read it?


Have you had any, uh, experience with that?

Twenty years of counseling. Yeah, I’ve seen some pretty awful shit.

I mean, have you had any experience with that?



Yeah, I have.

It sure ain’t good.

My father was an alcoholic.

Mean fuckin’ drunk.

He’d come home hammered lookin’ to whale on somebody.

So I’d provoke him so he wouldn’t go after my mother and little brother.

Interesting nights were when he wore his rings.

He used to just put a wrench, a stick and a belt on the table.

Just say, “Choose.”

Well, I gotta go with the belt there.

I used to go with the wrench.

Why the wrench?

’Cause fuck him, that’s why.

Your foster father?


So, uh, what is it, like, Will has an attachment disorder?

Is it all that stuff?

Fear of abandonment?

Is that why I broke up with Skylar?

I didn’t know you had.

Yeah, I did.

You wanna talk about it?


Hey, Will, I don’t know a lot.

You see this? All this shit?

It’s not your fault.

[Whispers] Yeah, I know that.

Look at me, son.

It’s not your fault.

I know.

No. It’s not your fault.

I know.

No, no, you don’t. It’s not your fault.


I know.

It’s not your fault.

All right.

It’s not your fault.

[Whispers] It’s not your fault.

Don’t fuck with me.

It’s not your fault.

Don’t fuck with me, all right? Don’t fuck with me, Sean, not you.

It’s not your fault.



[Whispers] It’s not your fault.

My God—

My God! I’m so sorry! My God!

[Sobbing Continues]

Fuck them, okay?


[Elevator Bell Dings]


Can I help you?

Yeah, I’m Will Hunting. I’m here about a position.

Could you just have a seat for a moment?

[Man] Yes, there’s a Mr. Hunting in the lobby.

Which one did you take?

I was over at McNeil. It’s one of the jobs the professor set me up with.

I haven’t told him yet, but I went down there and talked to my boss—

My new boss. He seemed like a good guy.

Is that what you want?

Yeah, you know, I think so.

Well, good for you. Congratulations.


Time’s up.

So that’s— So that’s it? So we’re done?

Yeah, that’s it.

You’re done. You’re a free man.

Well, um, I just want you to know, Sean, that—

You’re welcome, Will.

So, you know, I hope we keep in touch, you know.

Yeah, me too.

I’II be travelin’ around a bit. It’ll be a little hard, but, uh—

I’ve got an answering machine at the college I’ll be checking in with.

So, here’s the number.

You call that. I’ll get back to you right away.

Yeah, you know, I figured I’m just gonna… put my money back on the table and see what kind of cards I get.

You do what’s in your heart, son. You’ll be fine.

Thank you, Sean.


Thank you, Will.

Hey, does this violate the patient-doctor relationship?

Naw. Only if you grab my ass.

Take care.

You too.



Good luck, son.

[Morgan] Two beers.

What’s up? Did you guys go?

No. I had to talk him down.

Why didn’t you yoke him?

Little Morgan’s got a lot of scrap to him.

People try to whip his ass every week.

Fuckin’ kid won’t back down.

What are you sayin’ about me?

Was I talkin’ to you? Then mind your fuckin’ business.

[Door Opens]

[Chuckie] Go get me a beer.

I ordered two beers!

Hey, asshole.

What, bitch?

Happy birthday.

Thought we forgot, huh, bitch?

Come on!

I’m goin’. I’m goin’.

All right. Who’s first?

Come on, motherfucker!

Who’s first?

♪ Oh, Danny boy ♪♪

Here’s your present.

Come on, bro.


Well, we knew you had to get back and forth to Cambridge for your new job.

I knew I wasn’t gonna fuckin’ drive you every day, so—

Morgan wanted to get you a “T” pass.

That’s not what I was sayin’!

But, uh, you’re 21 now.

You’re legally allowed to drink, so we figured the best thing for ya was a car.

How do you like it?

This is like—

It’s the ugliest fuckin’ car I’ve ever seen in my life.

Come on, brother.

How’d you guys do this?

You know, me and Bill scraped together the parts, and Morgan was out panhandlin’ for change every day.

I had the router to do all the bodywork.

Yeah, hell of a fuckin’ job, too, brother.

Guy’s been up my ass for two years about a job. I had to let him help with the car.

So you finally got a job, huh, Morgan?

Yeah, had one. Now I’m fucked again.

So what is it?

A lawn mower? What do ya got?

[Bill] It’s a straight fuckin’ six.

[Chuckie] Me and Bill rebuilt this engine ourselves here.

It’s a good car. The engine’s good. Engine’s good.

Happy 21, Will.

Happy 21, brother.


Come on in.

Sean, I, um—

Me too, Gerry.

Yeah. Good.

I heard you’re takin’ some time.

Yeah. Travel a little bit, maybe write.

So where are you going?

India and China and Baltimore.


You know when you’ll be back?

Oh. I got this flyer the other day.

It says, uh, class of’72 is having a reunion in six months.

Yeah, I got one of those too.

Why don’t you come? I’ll buy ya a drink.

The drinks at those things are free.

I know, Gerry. I was being ironical.


How about a drink right now?

Yeah. It’s a good idea.

Come on. This one’s on me.

I got the winner right here, pal.


Yes, sir, this is the one.

This is my ticket to paradise.

Do you know what the odds are against winning the lottery?

What? Four to one?

About 30 million to one.

I still have a shot, you know?


Yes, just about as big chance as you being hit by lightning here on the staircase right now.

It’s a possibility too. I mean, 32 million. If you look at the size—

[Bell Tolling]

[Horn Honks]

[Tires Screeching]




[Horn Honks]

He’s not there.

♪ I’ll fake it through the day ♪

[Will’s Voice] Sean, if the professor cafls about that job, just tell him, sorry, l had to go see about a girl.


Son of a bitch. He stole my line.

♪ To take its toll and in having a lot ♪

♪ Of nothin’ to do ♪

♪ Do you miss me ♪

♪ Miss Misery ♪

♪ Like you say you do ♪

♪ I know you’d rather see me gone ♪

♪ Than to see me ♪

♪ The way ♪

♪ That I am, when I am ♪

♪ In the life anyway ♪

♪ Next door TV’s flashing blue ♪

♪ Frames on the wall ♪

♪ It’s a comedy ♪

♪ of errors, you see ♪

♪ It’s about takin’ a fall ♪

♪ To vanish into ♪

♪ Oblivion ♪

♪ It’s easy to do ♪

♪ And I try to be ♪

♪ But you know me I come back ♪

♪ When you want me to ♪

♪ Do you miss me ♪

♪ Miss Misery ♪

♪ Like you say you do ♪♪

♪ Gonna find my baby Gonna hold her tight ♪

♪ Gonna grab some afternoon delight ♪

♪ My motto’s always been When it’s right, it’s right ♪

♪ Why wait until the middle of a cold, dark night ♪

♪ When everything’s a little clearer in the light of day ♪

♪ And we know the night is always gonna be here anyway ♪

♪ Thinkin’ of you is workin’ up an appetite ♪

♪ Lookin’ forward to a little afternoon delight ♪

♪ Rubbin’ sticks and stones together make the sparks ignite ♪

♪ And the thought of rubbin’ you is gettin’ so excitin’ ♪

♪ Skyrockets in flight ♪

♪ Afternoon delight ♪

♪ Afternoon delight ♪

♪ Afternoon delight ♪

♪ Started out this mornin’ feelin’ so polite ♪

♪ I always thought a fish could not be caught who didn’t bite ♪

♪ But you got some bait-a-waitin’ and I think I might ♪

♪ Like nibblin’ a little afternoon delight ♪

♪ Skyrockets in flight ♪

♪ Afternoon delight ♪

♪ Afternoon delight ♪

♪ Be waitin’ for me, baby when I come around ♪

♪ We can make a lot of lovin’ ’fore the sun gone down ♪

♪ Thinkin’ of you is workin’ up an appetite ♪

♪ Lookin’ forward to a little afternoon delight ♪

♪ Rubbin’ sticks and stones together make the sparks ignite ♪

♪ And the thought of rubbin’ you is gettin’ so excitin’ ♪

♪ Skyrockets in flight ♪

♪ Afternoon delight ♪

♪ Afternoon delight ♪

♪ Aft ♪

♪ Afternoon delight ♪

♪ Aft ♪

♪ Afternoon delight ♪♪


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