Original title: Expend4bles
Release date: September 22, 2023 (USA)
Running time: 103 minutes
Directed by: Scott Waugh
Cast: Jason Statham, Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, Megan Fox, Tony Jaa, Iko Uwais, Jacob Scipio, Levy Tran, Andy García.
Barney Ross and his team of elite mercenaries are back for one last mission. When they learn that a notorious arms dealer named Ocelot is planning to unleash a nuclear warhead on the world, they must stop him at all costs. But Ocelot has a powerful ally: Suarto Rahmat, a former Expendable who has betrayed his comrades and joined forces with the enemy. Suarto is a master of martial arts and has a personal vendetta against Barney and his crew. To take him down, the Expendables will need some new blood. They recruit Gina, a former lover of Lee Christmas; Easy Day, a tech-savvy hacker; Galan, a sharpshooter; and Lash, a mysterious operative. Together, they will face their most dangerous enemy yet, and discover that loyalty, friendship, and honor are worth fighting for.
Expend4bles is a violent movie with frequent blood, gore, and profanity. It is rated R in the United States and has similar ratings in other countries. It also has some sexual content, including nudity and suggestive scenes. The movie may not be suitable for children or sensitive viewers.
* * *
* * *
[“Every Time” playing]
[shouting in Arabic]
Omar, what’s the status on the general?
[in Arabic] He’s still with family.
[speaking Arabic]
[chuckles]
No? [laughs]
[gunshots]
Hamza.
[speaking Arabic]
[soldiers shouting]
[in Arabic] Go with them. Take them to the bunker.
Move, move!
[shouting in Arabic]
[groaning] Where is General Fezzan?
Tell me.
♪ Hold the line, hey ♪
♪ Do you fight for pride Or glory? ♪
♪ Do you hold your scars Close to your heart? ♪
♪ Fall behind, yeah ♪
♪ Who will live To tell your story? ♪
♪ You were taught To leave no man behind ♪
[engine starts]
♪ I don’t know Where you have gone ♪
♪ You’ve got your back Against the wall ♪
♪ Where’s your backbone Brother? ♪
♪ Where’s your backbone Brother? ♪
♪ Where’s your backbone Brother? ♪
♪ Where’s your backbone Brother? ♪
♪♪ You’ve got your back Against the wall ♪
♪ Say, where’s your backbone Brother? ♪
[Christmas] I might be complicated, but I ain’t fucking hopeless.
[Gina] Is that what we call it? Complicated?
Well, whatever it’s called, it’s not working, is it?
[Christmas] Come on, Gina, you’re not looking at the big picture.
[Gina] What’s the big picture?
Is it you? Are you my big picture?
Oh, my God, thank you.
You should get the fuck over yourself.
‘Cause you know what you actually are?
A caveman.
You do resemble a caveman.
[Gina] You know what it is?
And you don’t?
You don’t want competition.
Gina, please, calm down. That’s what your problem is.
Me calm down? Did you just tell me
Don’t tell me to fucking calm down! I’m calm!
I’ve never been more fucking calm in my life.
“Oh, look at me. I’m English. I’m avoidant. I don’t like to argue.”
Well, guess what?
I just want a little peace in my life. Right?
It’d be nice.
I’m from America, bitch. We’re gonna fight about it.
Go. Just go. Go. So what does that make me?
Does that make me stressful?
No, no, no.
A little violent perhaps.
I’m a professional.
Yeah. And a little violent. [Barney grunting]
A little bit.
Teeny bit.
[Gina panting]
You know what it is?
I’ve got your skills and then some.
And neither of you like it because you’re both cavemen.
She’s talking to you.
Actually, she’s looking in your direction.
I’m talking to you.
[Barney] Mmhmm.
But about you.
You might be my boss, but I can tell that you’re also from this planet called “hopeless” where intimate relationships and feelings don’t fucking exist!
Fucking baby. I’ve wasted so much of my life on you.
You are a loser. But I like you.
Thanks. Why are you here?
I lost my ring at this bar, and I need you to I’m sorry. Is that it? Are we done talking?
Are you done with this conversation?
Conversation?
It’s more like angry chatter.
Fuck you.
She’s talking to you again.
It’s depressing. No. It’s okay.
I liked her, Barney.
She’s an Expendable, Christmas.
Look, I got great respect for your uncanny abilities. I really do.
But you are a selfish prick.
Really? We all are.
We have to be to choose this life over friends, over family.
We do this for money.
That’s the definition of prickism.
[sighs]
What do you think of my analysis?
Pretty good?
I think you’re a moron.
You don’t believe that.
With every cell in my body. [laughs]
Why are we here?
I lost my ring last night in a bet, and I’m here to try to buy it back.
Seriously?
Yeah, seriously.
A silly little trinket.
I’m superstitious about it, and I like it.
Feel like I’m missing a finger.
[hard rock music playing]
I tried getting it back, but this halfass won’t negotiate.
Who? Jumbo Shrimp.
Who’s he? You’ll see.
What’s up, Barney?
Hey, Billy.
So how’d you lose your most prized possession?
Thumb wrestling.
You mean arm wrestling? No.
I mean thumb wrestling.
Like that. Give me your hand.
No. Thumb wrestling?
You used to be strong. What happened?
And you used to be hairy. What happened?
Things change.
What’s up, Barney? Hey, how you doing?
Jumbo Shrimp around?
Is there a problem?
My friend wants his ring back.
[Barney] Mmhmm.
Bet’s a bet, man.
You know, no offense, but I’m missing my ring.
It stays where it is.
That’s unacceptable.
Striking resemblance.
That’s brutal.
These the guys, Barney?
Yeah.
[Christmas] Now I see why they call him Jumbo.
No, the other guy, second guy.
[Christmas] Oh.
You lost to Santa’s helper?
That’s embarrassing.
I was drunk.
Well, you’re not drunk now.
Why the fuck am I here?
I hurt my back.
Since when?
A few weeks ago. I can’t even lift a fork.
I would do it for you. But if you don’t want to do it, I understand.
If you’re intimidated…
Intimidated?
Hey, Lee.
Make it easy on yourself.
The classics.
I got this, Thumbo.
[laughs] Beer, please.
How you doing this nice day?
What do you prefer to be called, “Jumbo” or “Shrimp”?
[chuckles]
Call me that again.
Cut your fucking head off.
That’s a little harsh, bitesize.
Barney wants his ring back.
What did you call me?
How much for it back, Yoda?
Hey!
It stays here, asshole.
My back.
You see,
what we have here is a matter of humiliation and human kindness.
My friend here loves his ring for all of his stupid reasons.
And it would be very nice and civilized if you gents would understand that principle.
But since you choose to be Barney, what’s the word? Obstinate.
Too long.
Dumbbells.
Dumbbells.
You leave me no other choice, dinky.
[exhales deeply]
You’re welcome.
You’re slowing down.
[grunting]
My turn, bitch.
[screams]
Come on, chuck. Come on, cowboy. Bring it.
[dancers screaming]
Get him a beer when he wakes up.
[Christmas grunting]
You almost killed me.
I thought you had a bad back.
You know, it’s a miracle. It just went away.
You know, I really didn’t need this lovefest.
I like spending time with you.
[bikes departing]
Next time, take me on a pony ride, okay?
Okay.
[assailant] Overwatch, what is the status?
[overwatch operator] Sir, there are three soldiers guarding the general.
You’re gonna need backup.
I repeat, wait for backup.
What the fuck is he doing?
No, no, no. No, no, please. Please, don’t.
[grunting]
[screams]
What’s up, General? [screaming]
[doors open, close]
[grunts, chuckles]
Are my eyes deceiving me? Why?
[Christmas] What’s that thing on Gunner’s head?
[Barney] It looks like a sick cat.
Cats are cute.
That looks like tumbleweed. [chuckles]
Hey, good evening, big man.
[chuckles]
Let’s talk. What’s that thing on your head?
Oh, the wig?
Yeah, the wig. Question is, why?
Well, I was chatting with this girl on the Internet and she likes that ’70s look, you know.
The Farrah Fawcett thing.
Got it. You met her yet?
Why Why would I do that? I like the mystery.
Understand?
[Barney] Yeah, that makes sense.
Sounds special. It does.
I liked him better when he was a drunk.
I know what you mean. Me too.
I’m happy for you.
[Gunner] Hey, is this the new guy?
[Barney] Hey, it’s Easy Day.
Good man. Exspecial forces.
Hey, Barney.
Hey, Easy.
This our sniper?
Don’t worry about it. I got a prescription scope.
[Easy Day] What?
Well, Hawkeyes, remember this face.
Don’t shoot it by accident.
[loud thud]
You don’t have to worry about me.
Who’s this guy?
You’re slipping, pal.
You hired him. That’s Galgo’s son.
I have the eyesight, the heart and the sex drive of my father.
Tell me he doesn’t talk as much as his father.
He’s worse. No.
Twice as bad.
It’s gonna be a long trip.
I am Galan.
That suppose to mean something?
[Barney laughs]
It’s supposed to mean a little something.
All right, cut the bullshit. All eyes on me.
Who’s the suit?
His name is Marsh.
I did a few things with him before I met you.
He’s CIA. Hey, Barney, how you doing?
How you doing, Marsh?
How they hanging?
Gravity’s setting in.
Welcome to the club.
As much as I would like to exchange pleasantries with you guys, there’s a pressing matter at hand.
Meet Suharato Rahmat.
Former British national turned arms dealer.
He has his own private army and he’s been hired to steal some detonators for nuclear missiles for a very dangerous client.
Word on the street is the client’s name is Ocelot.
[Barney] Hmm.
Now, those detonators get in the hands of Ocelot, he’s planning on using them to create an international incident.
We can’t let that happen.
So that’s where you guys come in.
Your landing zone is Qaddafi’s old chemical war plant in Libya, which I hear is very nice this time of year.
Your mission is to make sure the detonators stay there.
All right?
That’s all I got. Good luck.
Barney, keep ’em tucked.
I’ll do my best.
Operation Ocelot. Mmhmm.
When were you gonna tell me?
When you stopped playing footsies with your girlfriend.
Hey, why’s Christmas so pissed about this Ocelot mission?
[laughs] He’s just being Christmas.
Copy that.
[Toll Road] He knows Barney very well.
He knows exactly how far he’s willing to go to end Ocelot.
Who the hell names himself Ocelot?
Years ago, the CIA hired Barney to find out who code name “Ocelot” actually is.
He was close when somebody walked him into an ambush and nearly killed his entire team.
Damn.
Yeah, some would say Ocelot’s a ghost that Barney created to cover his own ass for a mistake.
No fucking way.
Ocelot exists and Barney will bury him someday.
What the fuck happened to your ear, man?
I’m glad you asked me that.
I wrestled in college. Common affliction in that sport is contusions to the ear.
Small pocket of blood that separates the skin from the cartilage.
Come on, big bird.
Get up there, you deathtrap.
Don’t insult it.
We have a successful liftoff.
[chuckles]
[Galan] Maybe it was my first ménage à trois.
You know. You know, Toll Road, what I’m talking about, right?
Hey.
You know what is a golden shower?
It’s when the woman, she she squats down on top of you and releases her bladder.
It’s very liberating.
Wow, a worldclass pervert.
You know what is a golden shower?
You look like the type who has had one before.
I’m cutting these losers.
I heard too much of that. It’s tune time. Time for music.
[classical music playing]
It’s ancient.
It’s soothing.
Soothing? Yeah.
Yeah, maybe.
[breathes deeply]
You know I had a panic attack last night.
Did you really? Are you sure? Yeah.
Like your skin starts to crawl?
Your heart is beating? You know it.
Just take some Xanax and pretend you’re happy with your life.
I am happy.
By the way, you’re the worst doctor, ever.
Maybe it’s Gina who’s making you anxious.
She actually relaxes me.
It’s this this The job.
No.
Some guys are just not meant for companionship.
Face the facts. Wrong.
Maybe you want to die a bitter old sod, but not me.
I want to be cheerful, happy.
But I will come visit you in the home.
Promise?
Scout’s honor.
Let’s see what’s going on.
[Galan] One of them was covering me in hot candle wax.
Forget it.
[Rahmat] Where are the detonators?
[General Fezzan] Never!
Your wife.
Not my wife. No, Allahu Akbar.
[sobbing]
Your son is next.
PPlease, not my son. Please.
Give me the detonators, and I’ll make it quick.
My son, Adam…
This is a fact you cannot change.
Give me the detonators or…
Not my son.
Your choice.
Okay. Okay.
They are in control room.
The code to the safe is… eight, one, four, two… seven.
Wise choice.
[gunshot]
Let’s wake up the kids.
Ready? Yep.
♪ East side ♪
♪ West ♪
♪ Side ♪
Where’d that come from?
Ah, this is gonna be fun.
[Barney] LZ’s hot.
Here we go.
Incoming!
Flak!
[Christmas] Intel was off.
Get creative!
Got it.
Touch and go.
Okay, rally up. Rally up.
Am I driving lead? Nah.
Take Gunner to over-watch and fall in.
Touch!
Happy hunting.
Check it out. There’s something happening at the weapons plant.
We’re on it.
[soldier panting]
[Barney] I count four vehicles and a lot of ops.
Well, let’s make less of them.
[shouting]
[gunshots]
Sir, I have a new transport.
Excellent.
Tell Ocelot we have them.
Let’s go.
In position.
Load up!
[Barney] Rahmat’s got the detonators.
Gunner, you got eyes on them?
Like crystal in headlights.
Gunner, you’re way off target.
What do you need, a seeingeye dog?
Damn spots.
Hey, Stevie Wonder, you might want to get that prescription checked.
[groans]
[shouting]
[Barney] Heads up. Lee, where are you?
Looks like we’re making our entrance.
Hold on to your huevos.
Let’s fly, baby!
Whoohoo!
Who the fuck is this now?
[sighs] [merc] What do we do, boss?
Kill them.
[merc] Open fire!
[yelps, screams]
Gunner, we could use some help!
Six months sober.
[gunfire in distance]
[gunshot]
Now that’s what I’m talking about, Gunner.
Can you lose them?
We’re inside!
Copy.
Split up.
Galan, we’ll take point.
You go after that squirter.
Copy.
Ooh.
[grunts]
We lost the .50 cal.
[grunting]
Pull up alongside him.
Time to improvise.
I can improvise.
[grunts]
[groans]
[grunting]
Gut shot. You’ll live.
[grunts, screams]
[bone snaps]
Whoa.
Maybe not.
[screams]
Galan, what the fuck are you doing?
I’m improvising.
[grunts]
[clamoring]
What’s going on in there? I need a status report now!
One more and we’re on Rahmat.
[grunts]
[both grunting]
What the fuck, Easy?
[yelps]
Only easy day was yesterday.
Yep.
Initial success or total failure?
Initial success.
I’m out of ammo. I’m coming in.
You mean total failure.
Christmas, where are you? The detonators are compromised.
They’re on the west side heading north.
Don’t let Rahmat leave with those detonators or there’s gonna be a lot of dead people.
[horn honks]
Get in, losers! We’re going shopping!
You might want to watch your six!
Fire in the hole, fellas!
Moving!
[gunfire continues]
Cover me!
Incoming!
Don’t worry, my friend. I would never leave you behind.
[grunts]
[grunting]
I can’t get the angle!
[grunting] [alarm beeping]
I’m out of flares. Damn it, Barney!
Stay on mission, Christmas.
You’re toast up there.
Listen to him, man. Get the detonators.
[Barney] Get the detonators, Lee!
That’s an order!
Fuck no. I’m saving your dumb ass!
[grunts]
You’re welcome!
Nice work, man, but who’s on Rahmat?
[helicopter whirring]
[panting]
Holy shit.
[mourner] I miss him, man.
[“(Don’t Fear) The Reaper” playing]
♪ All our times have come… ♪
We miss you, Barney!
♪ Here, but now they’re gone ♪
♪ Seasons don’t fear The Reaper ♪
♪ Nor do the wind The sun or the rain ♪
♪ We can be like they are… ♪
[Toll Road] Everybody listen up.
There’s an old expression.
Beware an old man in a profession where good men die young.
I’m sure Barney Ross has had a seat reserved at the big table up there for some time now.
And he earned that seat.
He never stopped earning it.
He brought the best out in each and every one of us because he was the best of us.
To Barney.
[all] To Barney.
[crowd cheering]
How are you?
Great.
You don’t gotta pretend, Lee.
You know Barney wouldn’t want to watch you sulking like this.
It’s true.
Can I help?
Well, since you’re asking…
I’d like
So when are we going after the guys that did this?
You ain’t going nowhere. You’re done.
[clicks tongue, scoffs]
What’s that mean? You’re off it.
You’re done. You’re out.
Bullshit, Marsh.
Who’s gonna run Barney’s team?
Gina?
[chuckles]
What is this, a bad joke?
Well, you disobeyed a direct order from your superior and that cost us the mission, so you’re out.
I was trying to save him.
Well, you didn’t.
It’s our play, it’s our call. You’re out.
[Easy Day] It was Barney’s sacrifice to make, brother.
Good death for the mission, it would count.
And you just took it from him.
Made his sacrifice worthless.
Christmas.
Yeah.
Thanks for the support.
You certainly picked your moment, pal.
Oh.
Barney hated cover bands.
I’ll be in touch.
Hey.
Nothing Barney did was worthless.
You understand? Nothing! [Toll Road] Hey. Easy, cowboy.
Fuck you, talking about Barney in my face.
[Toll Road] This ain’t the place or time.
[Galan] Por favor. Please, please. Tranquilo.
[sighs]
Pantry cook.
[clicks tongue]
Hospitality director.
Can be “hospitableish.”
Private security detail for a social media influencer.
[club music playing]
[guests chattering]
[guest] I’m gonna go get a drink.
[influencer] We’re about to go live.
We’re about to stream this shit, and you girls look like shit.
Uh, no. No.
Buhbye.
Hey, muscles. Get over here. [snaps fingers]
[guests chattering, giggling]
Here, dude. [chuckles] Hold my sign.
Whoo!
I’m your private security detail.
I’m here to protect you.
Not hold your sign.
[chuckles] You see anybody looking to do me harm?
[sighs] Potentially.
[chuckles] Whatever. Just hold the sign.
“Potentially.” Double-O douchebag.
[all gasp]
[guest screams]
What’s up, motherfuckers?
I’m here at my NOLA pad live streaming to you at home.
Bringing a little something-something into your pathetic little lives.
[laughs] Look at these NOLA bitches.
Which one No, which two am I gonna fuck after?
[Christmas] Oi. Have some respect for the ladies.
I am live streaming here.
You guys believe this shit? Look at this guy.
Who does this motherfucker think he is?
[in English accent] “Oi, respect the ladies.”
I’ll respect them all right.
Respect them enough to let them lick the sweat off my balls.
[grunting]
[guests gasping]
Fuck, dude, my nose.
Do you know how much money I make off this face, asshole?
[inhales]
[exhales]
[sighs]
Fuck it.
[beeping]
[lock clicks]
[switch clicks]
Welcome home, love.
You’re lucky I didn’t shoot you.
[clicks tongue, sighs] Probably.
Hey, do you read now?
What is this?
Going somewhere, are we?
We’re going after the guy that got Barney.
The only good thing that came out of Barney’s death was the unsealing of that file.
What the fuck does that mean? What’s in here?
Well,
Barney was part of a classified operation in between international agencies.
And when it went south, all the parties involved decided to seal the file until everyone associated with it was dead.
So once Barney passed, that file was declassified.
It gave us a vital clue on Ocelot’s identity.
[exhales]
I want in. I’m coming with you.
Oh, I’m sorry.
You weren’t invited.
Oh.
Well, won’t you be lonely without me?
No.
There’s lots of other boys on the mission.
Oh.
I’m not in the mood.
I’m gonna play a little Hendrix.
Usually does the trick. Don’t start.
[grunts] Oh, I’m starting.
[both grunting]
[panting]
Oh, I always liked this tattoo.
So did your brother. [grunts]
This was always my favorite seat in the house.
Well, these and the cheap seats.
[both grunting]
You really need to be more careful. Mmm.
Make me.
Do an old soldier a favor.
First things first.
[panting]
[breathing heavily]
When I first met Barney… I was straight out of the SAS.
Nothing to my name, down on my luck.
He took a chance on me when no one else would.
We’re gonna get the guy that did this to Barney.
I promise.
I know I can’t go with you.
[sighs]
But I want you to take this.
[chuckles]
Well,
I’ll make sure to give Rahmat your regards.
[vehicle beeping]
[beeping]
[speaks Vietnamese]
You catch any of that?
I don’t know what she’s saying.
But why do you think they call her Lash?
I have no idea.
But I’d love to find out. She can lash me anytime.
Oh, it’s way bigger than that, darling.
No, no. That’s the Chinese bird.
We use the middle finger, they use the pinky.
Oh.
But if the shoe fits…
[scoffs]
I was saying what’s up with your ears?
My ear?
Oh, shit.
Well, everybody knows I wrestled in college.
And a common affliction in that sport is that you get a contusion in the ear that separates the cartilage from the skin and creates a little pocket.
I’ve had this one drained nine times.
I’ve never seen him so quiet.
[Toll Road] In essence, God gave me armor.
[sighs] He hasn’t said anything since Barney died.
[Toll Road] Now, I caught my roommate talking shit about it one time.
And I had to smack him upside his head and give him his own cauliflower ear.
That’s just the way it goes.
[sighs] You want to feel it? No?
It’s not contagious. I promise.
[“Bigcityboi” playing]
♪ Big city Big city boi ♪
♪ Big city Big city boi ♪
♪ Big city Big city ♪
♪ Spacespeakers in the house Make some motherfucking noise ♪
[people chattering]
How you doing, friend?
I’m looking for Decha.
[speaks Thai]
Who?
ExTask Force 90. Thailand Special Forces.
Supposedly owns a boat that docks around here.
Don’t know anyone around here like that.
But if he have boat, boat down there, not up here.
Thanks for your help.
[Christmas] Hey, excuse me, friend.
You know the owner of this boat?
I’m looking for a man named Decha.
I’m sorry. Decha has long gone.
Oh, yeah? Where?
To a place of peace.
Dead?
Ah.
Yeah, well, there’s a lot of that going around.
Excuse me.
I can’t let you steal this boat, sir.
What’s it to you?
Just a boat.
It’s not yours.
Hey, listen, I’m taking this boat with or without your permission.
Why do you have Barney’s ring?
Barney’s dead.
And I need this boat to get to the people who killed him.
I was looking for Decha.
From what Barney said about the man, I could use him for what’s ahead.
Barney’s dead.
I was once Decha, the man you seek.
But I put that man behind me.
If what you say is true, Barney should have his revenge.
Damn right, he should.
Hey.
[both chuckling]
[Marsh] Okay, listen up.
The Thai cargo ship Jintara was hijacked in the Andaman Sea by our mutual friend Rahmat.
The Jintara has changed course and is tracking en route to the Russian coast of Vladivostok.
Now, due to that royal clusterfuck that was Libya, Rahmat has taken possession of the nuclear detonators.
The ship itself is gonna be hosting an exchange where they’ll be taking possession of the remaining nuclear materials needed to construct a viable bomb, nuclear type.
And we cannot let that happen. Understood?
Now, we also have valuable intel that says that Ocelot will be on the Jintara.
So this might be our one and only chance to learn of his true identity.
Or her.
What’s that?
Could be a her.
Or her identity, yes.
And bring him or her in.
As you know, Barney’s death opened up a file that reveals the name of a man who worked with Ocelot.
A witness in witness protection.
More on him from Russo.
Name’s Phen Lyong Bai.
Ocelot’s former partner who’d love to rat Ocelot out.
Snitches get stitches. Right, Gunner?
That’s right. Snitches get stitches.
I don’t have to tell you how sensitive this mission is.
If the Russians get wind that the US forces are not only near but inside Russian territory, it’s a World War III shit show.
Understood?
So that’s why this mission carries no US signature whatsoever.
Full deniability.
If this goes bad, it’s on you. And one last thing.
Since you Neanderthals dicked up that last mission in Libya without me, I’m gonna be coming along to babysit you this time.
Now, won’t that be fun? Gina.
All right, so the mission’s gonna go down like this.
We’re gonna run this assault as a split team with two separate objectives.
We’re gonna HALO in.
Team Alpha’s gonna secure the bridge while Bravo searches and sweeps the boat.
We’re gonna identify, kill-capture both Ocelot and Rahmat, secure the detonators and the nuclear components, helo extract.
Any questions?
Is my delivery a little different than Barney’s?
He probably would have just said, “Let’s go.”
Yeah.
Well… let’s go.
Is that an axe?
No, it’s a snow shovel.
That makes sense. Not for humanity, but for you it makes sense.
[Christmas] Hey. So what’s your story?
Barney told me you were ex-Task Force 90.
Ultimate killer type.
Never seen anyone faster or better.
There’s only so many times you can kill a man, Christmas.
Each time, it gets easier.
You become numb to pain, to joy, and to love.
With every person you kill, you lose a little more of yourself.
I had to stop before there was nothing left.
Figured I’d be using my axe by now.
This is too quiet. Something ain’t right.
Easy Day, Lash, you’re with me. The rest of you, swing around port quarter.
Where’s port quarter again?
I was Army. We said left and right, not port and starship shit.
Starboard is right.
Port, left. Quarter, back.
[Toll Road] Got it. Let’s move.
[Marsh] Got a bad feeling about this.
Yeah, where the hell is everybody?
The nuke is definitely onboard. [beeping]
[Marsh] All right, listen up. Bad news.
They already have uranium with the detonators.
There is now an active nuclear bomb on the ship.
We’re about to take the bridge.
It’s a ghost town in here.
Go! Put your weapons down now!
[shouting]
[Lash] What a fucking mess this turned out to be.
First Libya, now this.
Somebody knew we were coming. Both times.
My intel was solid.
Your intel was shit.
Ah, shit on this.
The intel could have been leaked.
We don’t know you.
He was verified.
Well, then maybe it was your new girlfriend.
[Toll Road] Fuck you, Gunner.
You sold us out in Vilena on that mission.
Think I’d forget about that?
Somebody did sell us out.
How about your man?
You sold him out so you could be on top.
Back off. She wouldn’t do that.
What? Fuck him on top?
Fuck you.
Maybe it’s the mute over in the corner.
What’s up, Galan? Cat got your tongue, cowboy?
[Easy Day] Yeah, he’s hiding something.
[Gunner] Yeah.
I never trusted this fucking guy.
[door slams]
Who’s the leader?
[Marsh] I’m the leader.
[screams]
[hammer clicks]
[sighs]
[laughing]
Take him.
[Toll Road] Fuck.
There she is.
Go time.
I’ll go first.
Send down a signal when it’s clear for you to follow.
This is as far as I go.
I could use you.
I can’t.
If I let the old me out, I don’t know if I could ever get him back in.
I understand.
[chattering]
[sighs]
[chattering continues]
Should be carnage up here.
Where are you guys?
[merc] My shift’s done. Going downstairs.
Don’t move and turn around.
Slowly.
Well, which one is it, friend?
Don’t move or turn around slowly?
Turn around.
Very slowly.
Ah! Jesus Christ!
Colin, you scared the shit out of me, you bell-end.
Colin? Who the fuck is Colin?
Don’t give me that. Hey, you need to be careful with that.
That could go off in your hand.
[gurgling]
[radio chatter]
Perfect timing, Mr. Marsh.
Marsh?
This mission was a trap.
Somebody leaked our intel.
[groans]
My demands are simple.
Prisoner exchange.
I want your prisoner, Phen Lyong Bai.
A dear friend of a friend.
If not,
Mr. Marsh will be the example of how deadly serious I am.
So, what’s it going to be, Russo?
I don’t have the authority.
I know you don’t!
But I know someone who does.
Let’s get the last of the fake planes up.
♪ And the rocket’s Red glare ♪
♪ The bombs bursting in air ♪
[radio chatter]
Rahmat, you sneaky little sausage.
I can get you the authority.
Phen Lyong Bai is in your lockup.
Your contact is Donald Allman, authorization 22579.
Good.
And no funny business.
It’s your call whether the Expendables need to live up to their namesake or not.
[mercs chattering]
[chattering]
[influencer] Bringing a little something-something into your pathetic little lives.
[laughs] Look at these bitches.
Which one No, which two am I gonna fuck after?
[Christmas] Oi. Have some respect for the ladies.
[influencer] I am live streaming here.
You guys believe this shit? Look at this guy.
[mercs laughing]
[in Bulgarian]
Watch this guy, I love him, he is my hero.
“…the ladies.”
I’ll respect them all right.
Respect them enough to let them lick the sweat off my balls.
[in Bulgarian] I hope to meet him one day.
Huh. This doesn’t belong to you.
[groaning]
Where are my friends?
[groaning]
Where are my friends? Mmmmm.
Sir, we might have a problem.
Paithoon and Takk have gone dark.
[groans]
Room 657, Bdeck.
Much appreciated.
Ah.
Gunner.
[merc on radio] Takk? Don’t mind if I do.
Report back, Takk. We may have a rat onboard.
Check everyone’s status.
Takk? [sighs]
Takk can’t come to the phone right now.
He’s a little limp.
Who is this? [Christmas laughing]
A man who made a mistake letting you live.
But I’m here to remedy that.
[Rahmat] Ah.
Look who’s still trying to be a hero.
How nice of you to come aboard.
If you’re hoping for a redo of the mess in Libya, you’re too late, I’m afraid.
My men are on their way to hunt you down.
So I guess it’s up to me to put you in an early grave.
Just like I did your friend in Libya.
Correction. He wasn’t my friend.
He was my brother.
So you can bring your army.
Bring all the fucking men you want and I’ll work through every last one of them.
When I get to you,
I’ll make sure that the only way you leave this ship is in a wonderful variety of pieces.
[alarm sounding]
[mercs shouting]
Don’t shoot by the bomb!
[groans, yells]
[thud]
[groaning]
[mercs shouting]
[engine starts]
[screaming]
[shouting]
Pavel, you have eyes on the rat?
[Pavel] Yes, sir. Location?
[Pavel] Corridor, deck one.
Deck two. What?
[shouting]
[Pavel] Officers’ dining area, deck three.
[screaming]
[gasps]
[screaming]
[engine revving]
Rubber side down, mate.
[mercs shouting] He’s on the stern.
[groaning]
[grunting]
[mercs shouting]
What are you doing?
Thought you were done with this life.
It would be disrespectful to Barney’s memory to let his friend die.
I like the look.
Thank you.
Then let’s get to it.
Okay.
[shouting continues]
Everything’s sealed tight down here.
[Toll Road] Yeah, these are welded up solid too.
Okay, so what’s next?
Bilge system.
What? Bilge system.
In emergencies, it clears water from the ship’s dry areas.
If you get it open, it should let us out of here.
[Gunner] Come on, man. Let’s get this fucking thing open.
[groaning] Damn it.
Well, that ain’t budging.
No shit. It’s got to get wet.
What?
Wet. If it gets wet, it’ll open.
Well, anybody gotta pee?
[Toll Road]
I gotta go.
I’ve had to piss since we HALO’d in here.
A little privacy, please?
The hyoid bone.
It’s the only bone in the human body not connected to any others.
It’s right here in the throat. Without it, we cannot speak.
With these hands, I will claw the hyoid bone from the throat of that fucker Rahmat, stick it up his boyfriend’s culo, then make both of their asses apologize while they drown in their own blood.
Barney was my hero.
I do not speak, I cannot speak, because my mind is full of these brutal, visceral fantasies, fantasies that will now become a hellish reality.
[exhales]
You should go back to not talking.
[urinating continues]
[zipper zips up]
Done.
Any takers?
This will lead us to the men who killed Barney?
[Gina] Uh, yes.
I will avenge him.
Guess he does like golden showers.
Lyong Bai is en route to you as we speak.
I expect to have my team returned alive.
Of course. For what is a man without his word?
[scoffs]
Prepare for exchange.
Moving out!
This way.
Okay.
Your friends will be really happy to see you, right?
Probably not.
Gina will have to admit she needs me.
On three. Yeah.
Three.
Nobody here.
No shit.
Where did they go?
You smell piss?
[sniffing] Yeah.
We’re gonna stay quiet until it’s time to get loud.
Okay, okay. Yeah.
Get on the ground!
Time to get loud?
It’s you who needs to get down on the ground, pal.
Or what?
Or get wasted by an Expendable.
Don’t tell me. You’re happy to see me.
Technically, you’re not an Expendable anymore, Christmas.
Especially you.
Such a pleasure. Likewise.
Great timing. Easy Day.
Feliz Navidad.
Is that my Traumahawk?
Yeah. How do you like it?
Growing on me. [Gina] What took you so long?
Did you think that I was gonna believe you were actually just gifting me your knife?
You gifted her your knife?
And they say romance is dead.
He put a tracker in it. It was all part of the plan.
Sorry.
[Christmas chuckles]
I feel a little used.
[chuckles]
Okay, let’s go.
Hey, Gunner, watch our six.
I like your hair.
Who’s your new friend?
Decha.
Old friend of Barney’s. Kicks ass with the best of them.
Any friend of Barney’s is all right by me.
Rahmat took Marsh. Huh. I’m devastated.
First things first. Toll Road, I need you to take a look at something.
It’s a big fucking bomb.
With the detonators that we didn’t get.
We’re fucked.
Can you elaborate?
This thing’s wired to go in 27 minutes.
It’s tamperproof. Got mercury switches.
The only way we’re shutting this bad boy down is to find the remote kill switch.
That’s the last line of defense.
Now, it’s short range, so whoever has that on their person is on this fucking boat.
Rahmat.
[Gina] Rahmat.
Who’s Rahmat?
Guy who killed Barney.
We probably just entered Russian waters.
Dressing this ship to look like a US aircraft carrier with a primed nuke about to blow off the coast of Russia.
It’s going to start World War III.
Clock is ticking. Let’s lock and load.
New location, deckside.
It’s all about this kill switch now.
Switch off Rahmat permanently.
Well, can you make us something loud and messy?
Does the pope shit in the woods?
No, the pope don’t shit in the woods.
Or next to a bear. Why you gotta say shit like that?
[“P.I.M.P.” playing]
♪ I don’t know What you heard about me ♪
[music continues, muffled]
What is that?
♪ That I’m A motherfucking PIMP ♪
♪ I don’t know What you heard about me ♪
♪ But a bitch can’t get A dollar out of me ♪
♪ No Cadillac, no perms You can’t see that I’m A motherfucking PIMP ♪
♪ Now, shorty, she in the club She dancing for dollars ♪
♪ She got a thing For that Gucci That Fendi, that Prada ♪
♪ That BCBG ♪ [music ends]
Oh, shit! Bomb!
[screaming]
[merc shouting]
[groaning] Shit!
[shouting continues]
Fuck it!
You’re welcome. Huh.
Don’t mention it.
[shouting continues]
[gunfire continues]
[yells]
Good to be back.
I got you.
Thanks.
Hey, puta.
[screams]
[groans]
I got him.
[yells]
[buzzing]
Toll Road!
Easy! Man down! Man down! [groaning]
[mercs continue shouting]
Can you kiss that and make it better?
Maybe later. I’m a little busy right now.
I got him.
Hey! [grunting]
[yells]
[grunting continues]
[screams]
[thuds]
[pilot] Ready for prisoner exchange.
Three minutes until we touch down.
Standing by for the exchange.
[Rahmat] Proceed as planned.
[groans]
How you doing, Rahmat?
I see you like to play with knives. Well, I ain’t playing no more.
You’re gonna give me the kill switch, and we’re gonna end all this.
Come and get it, hero.
[coughs]
[groaning]
Is that the biggest one you’ve got?
[groans]
Nah.
That’s the biggest one I got.
[wheezing, groaning]
Lee, you good?
Yeah.
[groans, screaming]
Where’s the kill switch?
You fucking idiot. I don’t have the kill switch.
My boss has it.
[groans]
[helicopter whirring] Ocelot.
Phen Lyong Bai is here.
He’s our witness that can identify Ocelot.
Hello, Bai.
Oh, my God, no.
No! Byebye, Bai.
Marsh is Ocelot.
He’s had the kill switch this whole–
[groans]
That’s for Barney.
How long until detonation?
Twelve minutes.
All right, we got 12 minutes before this ship blows up like a Roman candl–
Hey, Marsh. I guess you won’t be needing that anymore.
All right, Christmas!
You’re like genital warts!
Always showing up where you’re not wanted and refusing to go away!
You got something I need, Marsh.
I’m coming down to get it.
I guess you figured out that this device right here is the only thing preventing World War III, a conflict that, while devastating for many, it’ll be insanely, insanely, insanely profitable for somebody.
And that somebody is gonna be me.
And the Expendables will take all the blame!
So, enjoy the show!
Kill them all!
Take cover!
[Lash] Everybody get down!
[groaning]
We need to get clear of this boat or we’re all gonna get fried!
Jumping overboard is seeming like a decent plan right now.
We’ll never make it out of the blast zone. We’ll never make it in time.
[groans]
Hey, man, you’re not going down on my watch.
We gotta move. He’s bleeding out.
I got an idea.
We can take my boat. It’s being towed.
That’s a great idea.
Next time, let’s start with that!
Yeah!
Gunner, give us cover fire. We’re on the way out.
Copy that. Cover fire.
[mercs shouting]
[Gina] Meet at the stern. Repeat, meet at the stern.
[shouts in Bulgarian]
[groaning]
We gotta move!
[Toll Road grunts]
[merc] I saw them go to the other side.
There’s no one on the bridge. Start searching the ship.
[mercs shouting]
Toll Road, you’re next.
Galan, you’re up.
What?
Never mind.
[scoffs] Let’s go.
Mission first!
I gotta turn this ship around.
Make my sacrifice count!
It’s his decision to make.
Decha, we need to move or Toll Road’s not gonna make it.
[merc] Check in block-D then go around.
[clamoring]
[shouting]
[merc captain] Get the rest of the inflatable boats up here.
[merc] Sir, we’re headed back out to sea.
[merc captain] Move it, move it, move it, people!
Genital fucking warts.
Take him out!
Get that RIB inflated!
We need to get the ship back on course.
Get up to the bridge and fix this.
But, sir…
But, sir, what?
The nuke is gonna blow. We can’t go up–
How do you feel about a promotion?
All to the bridge!
Take him down! All to the bridge! Go, go!
Looks like I’ll be seeing you soon, Barney.
[sighs]
[screaming]
[Marsh] Christmas!
Right here, Marsh.
Ho ho ho! I see you called in the cavalry!
Well, you can’t get rid of me.
Well, the fun’s in trying.
Why don’t you come down face-to-face?
Mantoman.
Huh.
Old school.
Don’t mind if I do.
Can’t wait.
Don’t you fucking move! I’ll be right down.
Barney tried to expose me 25 years ago, and he failed.
But you, you’re a good soldier.
You’re a very good soldier.
But this, I mean, this is above and beyond.
This This is next level.
Barney would be proud of you.
Well, you can tell him yourself.
Because you’re about to join him.
So very nice.
Look what Santa brought me.
The fuck?
Barney?
Hey, I had him with the classics!
You almost fucking killed me!
You’re welcome.
Come on!
The fuck is happening?
Hold on!
Where are the nukes? In the stern.
Hey, you were dead!
The hell’s going on?
I’m a little busy.
So what’s the story?
Twentyfive years ago, we were doing a covert op, and eight of my team got wiped out.
I had to fake my own death to open up a classified file, driving Marsh out of hiding so I could prove he’s Ocelot.
Why’d you keep it from us?
If I didn’t take that job, they’d all be alive.
So, it was personal.
You understand.
Whew.
I need a drink.
Me too.
You’re buying.
I’m broke.
You were funnier when you were dead.
[laughs]
[sighs]
Great spending time with you again.
But you could use a shower.
[cheering]
[Galan] Toll Road, you owe me 20 bucks.
Guess you won’t be needing glasses.
Not bad.
Hey.
Salute to my friends who never quit.
Cheers to you all.
Salud. Salute.
[Barney] To you guys.
[Toll Road] What about that corny quote on the ship, Christmas?
You don’t need to repeat that, Toll Road.
“Make my sacrifice count!”
Yeah, fuck you.
Stop giving him such a hard time.
I think it’s sweet.
Aw. That’s sweet.
They’re all just jealous because you’re the most handsome one.
I know.
Ain’t love beautiful?
Hey, Toll Road.
Really?
Ah.
[Galan] Barney Ross, back from the dead.
Only you could walk away from a blazing inferno with not a scratch on you.
You are like a mythical bird raising up from the ashes.
I don’t know how you do it. Just a moment.
I am relaxed. I’m trying to talk to my hero over here.
Would you give me some space please, Easy Day?
Hey, lame brain, you got a minute?
Of course. A minor question.
Step right in.
There it is. Piece of junk.
Ah.
I missed this.
Thanks, my friend. Yeah.
I need to know. Who the corpse is?
Exactly.
You ever wonder what happened to Jumbo Shrimp?
[computer voice] Warning. Terrain ahead. Too low.
Warning. No landing gear. Pull up.
You didn’t.
Oh, yes, I did.
♪ The boys are back in town ♪
♪ The boys are back in town ♪
♪ I said The boys are back in town ♪
♪ The boys are back in town ♪
♪ The boys are back in town ♪
♪ The boys are back in town ♪
♪ The boys are back in town ♪
♪ The boys are back ♪
♪ You know that chick That used to dance a lot? ♪
♪ Every night she’d be On the floor Shakin’ what she’s got ♪
♪ Man When I tell ya she was cool She was red hot ♪
♪ I mean, steamin’ like that ♪
♪ And that time over At Johnny’s place ♪
♪ Well, this chick got up And she slapped Johnny’s face ♪
♪ Man, we fell about the place ♪
♪ If that chick Don’t wanna know, forget her ♪
♪ The boys are back in town ♪
♪ The boys are back in town ♪
♪ I said The boys are back in town ♪
♪ The boys are back in town ♪
♪ The boys are back in town ♪
♪ The boys are back in town ♪
♪ The boys are back in town ♪
♪ The boys are back ♪
