Rumble (2021) | Transcript

In a world where monster wrestling is a global sport and monsters are superstar athletes, teenage Winnie seeks to follow in her father's footsteps by coaching a loveable underdog monster into a champion.
Rumble (2021)

In a world where giant monsters and humans collide, the monsters are superstar athletes and compete in a popular professional wrestling global sport called Monster Wrestling. A young girl named Winnie seeks to follow in her father’s footsteps as a manager by coaching a lovable underdog yet-inexperienced monster named Steve. Winnie plans to turn Steve into a champion so that he can go up against the reigning champion Tentacular.

* * *

[narrator] From the bowels of the earth and the depths of the oceans, they came.

Titans. Kraken. Kaiju.

Their earth-shattering battles thrilled mankind.

Human and creature teamed up to create the greatest sport of all time: Monster Wrestling!

From the ancient arenas of yesteryear to the cutting-edge stadiums of today, these rare beasts wrestle for the glory of their hometowns and cities, fighting for the World Monster Wrestling championship.

And it was the town of Stoker-on-Avon that gave us the greatest wrestling team of all time…

Rayburn and Coach Jimbo Coyle.

Yeah! That’s how you do it, champ.

Nine-time winners of the Big Belt, they dominated the sport… until tragedy stuck.

En route to a championship match, Rayburn and Jimbo were lost at sea… and Stoker was left without hope.

[sirens wailing]

But now, Stoker dares to dream again.

Jimbo’s protégé, Siggy Marlon, has found a new monster: Tentacular.

Tonight, Stoker unveils their newly renovated Jimbo Coyle Stadium, where their phenom hopes to claim the biggest prize in sports: the Big Belt!

[announcer] Welcome to match night at Jimbo Coyle Stadium, center of the monster wrestling universe.

[people chattering]

Hey, Fred!

Hiya, Winnie!

Your new tentacle sign looks amazing.

Thanks, Winnie! It’s in honor of Tentacular!

Pretty clever, huh?

I love it.

Stoker!

Stoker.

Stoker!

Stoker!

Stoker!

Stoker… Aah!

Wha…

[both] Stoker!

[all] Stoker!

Wait!

See you up there, Fred.

Yep! Oh, I hope we win.

[people chanting] Tentacular! Tentacular!

Tentacular! Tentacular!

[exclaiming, cheering]

[announcer speaking, indistinct]

[people chanting, cheering]

[sighs] Wish you were here today, Dad.

[exclaiming]

Live in five, Mr. Remy.

All right, ready?

[exclaiming, gibbering]

[announcer] Slime Zone ticket holders enter through gate C.

Hey, Winnie.

Hey, Susie. Up top.

Bring it.

Oh! Oh, yeah! This is gonna be awesome.

Whoop! Oh, sorry.

Hey, Winnie!

Pineapple-slaw dog with extra ketchup coming at ya!

Yes! Thank you, Hoppy.

[shouts]

[all exclaiming]

[clerk] Fifteen dollars. That’s 22.54. Two for 25.

There’s enough for everyone. Calm down. Everybody, please be patient.

Hey, Mom! Coming in hot.

Oh. Thanks, Win. Been a while since we’ve been this busy.

See you in the stands, Mom.

That’s 25 even.

Coach Siggy, as Jimbo’s assistant, you were such a huge part of Stoker’s wrestling history.

Now you have a chance to make your own with Tentacular.

But first, you gotta beat the champ tonight.

King Gorge was a great champ.

But he’s never fought anyone like Tentacular.

Oh, man! Siggy wants this in the worst way.

No, way, bro. Two rounds, and it’s over.

It’s gonna be Tentacular in the third.

Dude, that’s Winnie Coyle!

[chuckles] You know it.

Jimbo’s daughter?

No way, bro.

You got this.

Hey, Carl.

Hey, Winnie.

Wearing your lucky socks?

Going on three weeks now.

[sniffing]

Smells like… victory!

[exclaiming]

[crowd cheering]

[announcer] World Monster Wrestling presents The Smackdown in Stoker!

Live from Stoker-on-Avon, I’m Marc Remy, welcoming you at home to the biggest night of monster wrestling in years, right here in the house that Rayburn and Jimbo built.

And I’m Lights Out McGinty, and I could not be more excited.

[groans]

But with that excitement comes some sadness, Marc.

I can’t believe it’s been nine years since we tragically lost Rayburn and Jimbo.

Nobody was greater. We all miss them.

[crowd chanting] Rayburn! Jimbo!

[Marc] Just listen to this crowd. Boy, this is special!

Jimbo! Rayburn! Oh!

But now we are moments away from seeing if Tentacular can bring the glory days back to Stoker.

Welcome, monster wrestling fans from every corner of the globe.

For tonight, we wrestle for the Big Belt!

Yeah!

Stoker!

And now, from Stoker-on-Avon, the hometown hero, the challenger, Tentacular!

Yeah! [laughs] Light ’em up!

[upbeat music playing]

[McGinty] The new pride of Stoker…

Oh, yeah!

…is in the house!

He’s ready. Look at him go.

Do it for Stoker, T!

[Marc laughs] Just listen to that passion.

Yeah! Tentacular!

I’ve got your whole life story tattooed on my body!

Whoa, whoa. I hope you saved room for the win I’m gonna have tonight.

[McGinty] He just tore through the Western Division to set up this match.

Cheese!

[Marc] Yes, sir. He sure did.

Who wants a selfie? I do!

Oh, yeah!

[chuckles] Hey-o!

I’m so pretty!

[McGinty] Look at those muscles!

The guy’s traps are busting out of his neck, Marc.

Yeah, T! Pop those pecs!

Come on, come get some of this. Here I am.

Uh-huh!

[announcer] Here comes the king.

[fanfare playing]

Sixty-two feet of pure pain.

The slimy limey! The no-bull British bulldog!

King Gorge!

[roars]

[upbeat music playing]

Boo!

Bow to your king.

Bad dog! Bad dog!

You’re going down, Gorge!

[McGinty] Listen to the crowd. They are heated!

[Marc] This home crowd does not like the king.

No one’s bowing in this stadium.

Boo! Boo!

[roars]

[exclaiming]

[ring announcer] Ladies and gentlemen and monsters!

Let’s get ready to rumble!

[both growling]

I am so ready for this.

You ready? Who needs a stress ball?

You look stressed, Maddie. Here’s a stress ball.

I got you. Take a stress ball.

[bell rings]

[Marc] And this championship match is officially under…

This is awesome! Spectacular! Electrifying!

Whatever word you wanna come up with!

Okay. Breathe, Fred. Breathe.

There it is: the Inverted Cloverleaf.

Siggy got that right out of Dad’s playbook.

He might have this, Fred.

Come on. I’m not watching. I’m watching, but I’m not watching.

[wrestler groans]

Oh, wake up, ref!

That’s a gill gouge, again!

[Winnie scoffs] What is he doing? He’s gotta stick to the plan!

Gorge is doing the Irish Whip into the Flying Right-Hook Lariat every time!

Come on, T. Don’t let him get the…

Watch that Elbow Smash!

[Marc] Tentacular came in to this match the hot favorite.

But the wily old champ, he’s got some other ideas.

Did you see that?

Yeah. I saw it.

He licked his nose again. You saw that, right?

Yeah.

Just before he looked up… There! He did it again.

Did what? I’m not watching!

It’s so…

I know, right?

…obvious.

Winnie! Where you going?

Sorry! Watch your head.

Hey!

My bad! Watch your back! Sorry.

Whoops! Heads up!

Whoa! Whoa!

[exclaims]

[Marc] Ooh! Gorge has got him in the Chickenwing Over-the-shoulder Dropface.

[McGinty] Oh! And Tentacular is in real trouble early in this match.

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that we’re in for another coronation of King Gorge.

[bell rings]

[Marc] There goes that round.

What are you doing? This is your chance.

Listen to me. Look at me. Focus, T. Remember the game plan.

Get him up on his hind legs, and then you wrap him up with your tentacles…

Wait a second! Wait. He’s got…

Winnie!

He’s got a tell!

How many times do I have to tell you? Ringside’s no place for no little girl.

He licks his nose every time.

What are you talking about?

He licks before he strikes!

Is Winnie right, Sig?

You’re a good boy, aren’t you? Yes, you are.

Good boy. Who’s a good boy, then?

Pull up your socks and take this guy out.

[bell rings]

Good call, Winnie.

[snarling]

Ah! Yeah!

Yes!

Whoa!

Yay! Go, Tentacular, go!

Yeah, T! Finish him!

[McGinty exclaims]

[Marc] T with the Shark Fin Super Stunner!

He’s out!

[bell ringing]

[cheering]

We did it, Sig. Stoker’s back on top.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, sure is, kid.

Oh, yeah, Stoker! I’m going to an unnamed theme park!

[laughing]

T, get over here, big guy.

You did it. You are the champion.

You got the job done. Can you tell us what this means to you?

Marc, let me tell you. This means so much to Tentacular.

But first, I just have to thank Stoker.

I love you, Tentacular!

Oh, this town, you have given Tentacular everything Tentacular needed to realize Tentacular’s dream!

I love you, Stoker!

[all] Aw!

So, thank you, Stoker.

You will always have a special place in my heart as the place that Tentacular left to go somewhere much, much better.

What?

Huh?

What?

Are you serious? You’re really leaving Stoker?

Of course, Marc.

I’m about to make history. My own history.

Can’t do that in Stoker. There’s too much history here already.

That’s why I’m taking my talents to Slitherpoole.

No!

What’s happening, Daddy?

Why? Why?

Jimothy! Come here.

This is my ticket to bigger and brighter things, Marc.

Oh, ho, ho! Just let me finish this killer tweet.

Marc, you look good. Can we take a quick pic?

And send. Perfect. Okay.

That is right, Marc.

Now the big guy can actually win somewhere that matters, on a stage as big and beautiful… you know you are… as he is.

I’m talking about Slitherpoole.

And, Marc, can I just give a big shout-out to Pop-Pop for buying me the franchise?

We did it! Anything is possible! Thank you, Pop-Pop.

So thank you again, Stoker. Much love. T out.

[upbeat music playing]

[feedback squeals]

Come on, Sig. Time for the T train to leave the station.

I’m sorry, Winnie. I gotta go where he goes.

[audience booing, jeering]

[Marc] The sports world is absolutely abuzz with Tentacular’s shocking departure from Stoker last night.

Why did I buy this stupid sign?

You gotta be kidding.

What do we do?

Can you believe it? I can’t.

Mom, are we gonna be okay?

I don’t know, hon, but we’ve been through worse.

“Do you want neon?” “Sure,” I said. “Money’s no object.”

Have you seen my hair salon?

Your hair salon? What about that tattoo I just got on my…

[all clamoring]

All right everybody, now, settle down. Just settle down.

[clears throat]

Look, I know you’re all worried.

After all, each of us owns a piece of Stoker Stadium.

But what you don’t realize is that things are actually much, much worse than you know.

Hang on. What?

Uh, our councilwoman over here can explain everything to you.

Probably her fault anyway.

Wow. Thank you so much, Mr. Mayor.

Pretty sure it’s your fault, though.

Okay, let me make it simple.

Very simple.

The stadium costs lots of money. Okay?

No monster means no money.

No money means no stadium.

Which is bad for Stoker.

Oh, my gosh! Remember when Pittsmore lost LeBrontosaurus?

[all] Not Pittsmore!

That’s right. All they have left is that illegal monster wrestling club in that abandoned bobblehead factory.

[thunder crashes]

[voices scream]

Ooh. Scary lightning. [imitates wind gust]

Okay, hold on, everybody.

I’m here to tell you that there is a solution.

The owner of the Slitherpoole franchise has offered us a lot of money to buy the stadium.

Yes!

We’re saved.

Yes, yes, that is great.

He’s gonna blow up the stadium and turn it into a parking lot.

What?

What?

A parking lot?

Yes!

With shuttle service to Slitherpoole.

You can’t do that to the Jimbo Coyle Stadium! That’s… No!

Sorry. The whole town will go bankrupt unless we sell to Jimothy.

But without monster wrestling, we’re not Stoker.

We’ll have nothing.

We’ll have a parking lot.

You can’t just tear down everything my dad and Rayburn built here.

They never quit.

You know what my dad always said?

“When you get knocked down, you get back up.”

Getting back up isn’t gonna pay my bills, Winnie.

I invested everything in him.

What am I supposed to do?

Winnie, look, I’m sorry.

The loans on the stadium are due in 90 days.

And if you think we can replace a champion like Tentacular before then, that… that’s just… it’s crazy!

Get real.

We’re doomed.

[crowd cheering]

[ring announcer] And in the blue corner, the hometown hero:

Rayburn!

Hey, Win, what do you think?

It’s gonna be tough, but Rayburn has one thing Gargantuan doesn’t.

Oh. What’s that?

You, Dad.

[chuckling] Better watch out, Siggy.

Looks like Jimbo’s got himself a new assistant coach.

You’re a riot, Rayburn. Now can we please focus on the match?

Okay, Rayburn. You know what to do.

Everything we need to win is in here, in here, and in here.

Now, go make Stoker proud.

[announcer] And here we go!

Take him down!

And there it is! The Reverse STO and another championship for Rayburn, the greatest of all time!

He did it! He got the Big Belt, Dad!

[gasps]

Bye, Mom! I’m going to Pittsmore to find Stoker a new monster.

What? No.

This isn’t your responsibility.

You don’t have to do this.

It’s what Dad would have done.

I’m Jimbo Coyle’s daughter. How can I do anything less?

[person] Now approaching the station, the Pittsmore Local.

[person 2] Last stop, Pittsmore.

What? Wha…

[upbeat music playing]

[sighs]

[people whooping, cheering]

[bodies thudding]

[cat snarls]

[gasps]

[crowd cheering]

[crowd chanting] Axehammer! Axehammer! Axehammer!

Hey, watch it!

Five minutes till bets close! Place your bets!

[monster roars]

Sorry.

Yeah!

Come on, give me a challenge. Axehammer wants a challenge!

[wrestler] Ah! Just take it easy.

[Axehammer] Oh, you want some more of that? You want some more of the Axehammer?

No, bro! No, no, no, no, no, no… [groans]

[chuckles]

[roars]

That is so much pain, bro. [screams]

Ooh!

You like that? Axehammer is the man!

[laughing]

[crowd chanting] Defenestrate! Defenestrate!

[chanting continues]

[exclaiming]

Ooh.

[wrestler screams, body thuds]

[roaring]

Just think about it. Sign up with Stoker.

I can get you matches in a real stadium.

You’ll be wrestling in the big leagues, and, as a bonus, you’ll get me as your coach!

It’s a win-win-Winnie! [chuckles]

You’re the coach, huh?

Oh, too much.

And me as your coach. It’s a win-win-Winnie!

It’s a win-win-Winnie?

Win-win-Winnie?

[braying]

Winnie?

Another root beer on the rocks.

[glass shatters]

Ugh!

Tough night, huh?

Eh, don’t worry. Your luck’s gotta change, right?

I mean, look at me.

I just put every last cent I have on that guy.

[Winnie] Uh, the guy with the tusks?

Looks like a pretty sure thing.

No. The slobby-looking guy with the horns.

[Winnie] Oh!

That there is Steve the Stupendous.

He’s…

He’s never won a single match.

He’s a thousand-to-one odds!

He wins, I get a hundred grand!

Okay, you asked for it.

Get ready for the Moon Boom!

[gasps]

Get ready for the Moon Boom!

Oh, careful, Son.

[giggling]

Rayburn Jr.? This is perfect!

[chuckles] Huh?

Wha…

[gasps]

I said, here it comes!

Bring it on, you sack of warm puke.

Oh, I’m bringing the warm puke. Don’t worry.

There’s gonna be a lot of puke coming outta me, which is obviously super gross.

You know, um, I can’t jump that far.

Why did you have to climb up there?

I thought it would look cool. This looks cool, right?

This sucks!

You suck! Just come closer.

Rayburn Jr.! What are you doing here?

Hmm? [exclaiming]

Dang it.

Come on, man. What are you doing?

You’re supposed to land on me. Then I reverse you…

Ray-Ray! Yoo-hoo! Up here!

Who is Ray?

No one. I’ve never heard of Ray.

Did you see that? Yeah, Steve!

Quit messing around, Steve. You’re supposed to lose.

What’s wrong with you?

[chuckles] Nothing.

Stick to the script, fellas. Don’t wanna get the boss upset, do we?

No, we do not. Okay, Klonk, let’s end this with a bang.

I’m gonna go for the Kesagiri Chop, but you catch it and finish me off with a Reverse Clothesline.

[chuckles] Classic.

This little piggy’s coming home!

Hey! Over here! Rayburn, I can’t believe it’s you!

This has gotta be fate.

Hey, get off the ropes, kid.

Steve, just go down already.

Got it.

Sorry, buddy. Just clothesline me.

Ray-Ray, come on. It’s me, Winnie Coyle!

Uh-oh. Would you get outta here?

Rayburn, when you’re done doing whatever this is, we should talk.

I said, get outta here!

No!

[crowd exclaims]

Oh, no.

Uh, one.

[monster snarls]

[gasps]

Two.

Klonk! You gotta get up.

Three…

Get up, get up!

And Steve the Stupendous seems to be trying… unsuccessfully… to lose now.

Six. Seven.

He’s up, he’s up!

Eight. Nine.

Really?

Nine and a half.

Come on, Klonk!

Nine and three-quarters.

Get up, Klonk.

Nine and nine-tenths!

Ugh. Ten. Takedown.

[bell rings]

Fight’s over.

[gasps]

I won! I won, I won!

[gasps]

[buzzer sounding]

[gasps]

I’m out of here.

[door creaking]

[gasps]

Oh. Whoa. Hey, Denise.

Where do you think you’re going, Steve?

Uh, nowhere.

[sinister chuckle]

Steve. Steve.

[people gasping]

Steve, Steve, Stevie, Stevie, Steve.

Looks like we have a little bit of a problem, Stevie.

I paid you to lose tonight,

like I do every night.

It was an accident, I swear. You know me. I love to lose.

I’m the best loser in the biz.

Yes, you were.

[laughing] I won!

I won a hundred grand! I can go to college now!

Do you know what happens to those who betray Lady Mayhen?

Very…

Yeah?

…bad…

Uh-huh.

…painful things.

[chuckles] Lady Mayhen wants her money.

Listen, I’ll make it up to you.

I’ll wrestle for free. I’ll clean the toilets. Whatever you want.

You know what I really want? The money, honey!

All of it, times ten.

Honestly, I’m not great with math, but I don’t know how I’m ever gonna be able to pay you.

I think I can help.

I don’t know you. I don’t know her!

Sure, you do. It’s me. Winnie Coyle? Come on. You remember me, Rayb…

My name is Steve.

Hello!

I hate to interrupt this charming little reunion you’re having, but, Steve, there’s still the matter of my money.

I don’t want to see you again until you have all of it.

Every last dollar bill.

Oh, Klonk! Where are you?

Clock is ticking, Steve. Ticktock, ticktock.

Whoa!

[grunts, groans]

Hey! Wait up!

Man, I never thought I’d see you again.

Oh, won’t you just leave me alone?

Just hear me out. I can help you get that money.

Tentacular turned heel and bailed,

and you probably saw that, along with everyone else in the stinking world,

which was awesome.

But that means Stoker needs a monster.

Yeah, no.

Listen to me.

I can help you. Just come with me to Stoker.

I’m not going back… to that place that I’ve never been.

Ha! Wow. You are not good at lying, Rayburn.

Hey, kid. You got the wrong monster.

I don’t think so, Rayburn.

Rayburn was my dad. And I’m not gonna cash in on his name. Ever.

[laughs] I knew it! I knew it was you!

[groans]

I mean, it’s been forever,

and I was yea small, and you were yea tall,

and now you’re, like, yea!

Hey, you think monster puberty was easy?

Sorry. This is a real thing I’m offering you.

Look, I have my dad’s playbook.

I could coach you up, get you a big match in Stoker,

and, boom, both our problems are solved.

[chuckling] You think you’re gonna coach me?

Oh, Stevie!

What are you still doing here? Go get me my money, man!

Help me.

Oh, Klonk, you’re on mani-pedi duty.

[Klonk] Oh, no. No!

So, Coach…

[clears throat] Stoker?

Yes!

Isn’t this just great? It’ll just be like old times again, you know?

Pretty sure that doesn’t mean the same thing to me as it does to you.

Hey. Are you gonna make me walk to Stoker?

Yep. I am.

All the way?

All the way.

Come on. Just give me a ride, Rayburn.

Never call me that name again.

Okay. I’ll never call you that again… if you give me a ride.

[groans]

[yawns]

Comfy up there?

You must be exhausted from ruining my life.

Need a pillow? Maybe a chocolate?

Sorry we don’t provide turndown service.

[sighs]

Whoa.

Wow. This place hasn’t changed a bit.

[Winnie] I know. It’s magical, isn’t it?

It’s still got that… [sniffs]

mmm, that smell of sweat and feet.

Ah. Really big feet.

You’re a real weird kid. Real weird.

[Winnie] Yeah, I know. [chuckles]

You know, Steve, you’re not the first person to say that to me, actually.

You’re really not.

Whoo!

It looks just like you, Dad.

You wanna live up to the Rayburn name?

Yeah.

It’s gonna take a lot more than some fancy dance moves, Junior.

Time to get serious.

[Winnie] Steve?

Steve?

Steve!

[shouts]

Are you okay?

Oh, sure. Never better.

[sighs]

Look, I know you don’t wanna be here.

And I’m really sorry that I messed things up for you in Pittsmore.

But if we don’t do this,

they’re gonna knock down the stadium and turn it into a parking lot,

and that’s all I have left of Dad.

And your dad is part of that too.

A parking lot?

Yep.

No monster, no money.

Maybe it’s for the best.

What?

How can you say that? That’s our dads’ legacy!

I hate to break it to you, but saving that stadium won’t bring him back.

I know that. I just thought you might actually care about helping…

Let’s get something straight. I love wrestling. I loved my dad.

But I’m not gonna be him.

Especially for you.

I’m gonna be me.

And who are you, Steve?

I’m the guy who’s here for the money. You got me?

Oh, I got you.

Money all the way.

You should probably get some rest. We start training tomorrow.

[chuckling]

Training. Yeah, right. Good one.

6:00 a.m. Sharp.

You’re… You’re serious?

[crickets chirping]

[alarm blaring]

[gasps] What?

Good morning.

Hi, Mom.

How are you feeling? You ready?

[sighs]

Do you think I can do this?

I think you won’t know until you try.

Just remember:

Train the monster you have, not the one you wish you had.

Did Dad say that?

Uh, no. Mom did, just now.

[sighs] Okay.

Hey. You forgetting something?

Oh. Mwah! See you tonight.

I meant these.

Dad’s keys?

You tell Rayburn… I mean, Steve…

that Mrs. C says hi.

Now, go coach him.

Yes!

[gasping]

[shouting]

Whoa!

Whoo!

Morning, Fred!

Whoa!

Namaste, Winnie!

Whoo-hoo!

Whoa!

What… Hey, come back!

[door closes]

Steve.

You ready?

Hey. Rise and shine.

Hey, Steve, wake up!

What?

I had this terrible dream that I promised I would get up and train.

Oh, it’s real!

So, are you ready? Let’s do this.

Go ahead. You start. Set up all the cones or whatever.

Oh, ho! No, you don’t. Up and at ’em, sunshine.

It is go time. Game day. Ain’t no time like the present.

Man, why can’t I think of more sports clichés?

Uh… Well, until I do, let’s train.

You are a rude little girl.

Scooch your booty! [grunting]

This is important.

With a capital I.

Yeah, well, I never really felt training was important.

I can tell.

No one thinks we can do this, but we’re gonna show them.

I’m going back to sleep.

You are not, mister!

You just go get me that match, and I’ll take care of the rest.

Okay. I’ll get you a match.

[hooting]

[announcer] Welcome, everyone, to an evening of monster wrestling!

Weighing in at 18 tons,

you know him, you love him, you’re scared of him:

Wham Bam Ramarilla Jackson!

Here comes the Rammer Hammer!

Rama, Rama, Rama!

Rilla, Rilla, Rilla!

Boom! Boom! It’s Ramarilla time!

[exclaiming]

Oh, wow. This guy’s a real showman.

Okay. Everything we need

is in here, in here, and in…

Oh, this is original. Are you for real?

What do you think you’re doing right now?

I’m doing my coach speech.

Do I look like the kind of guy who’s gonna go for the “rah-rah” stuff?

Fine. Then let’s talk strategy.

You wanna feint a Reverse STO.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

And then when we get him behind you…

You know what?

I think I’m just gonna go with what I know.

For reals?

Yeah, for realsies.

No. I’m your coach, and we need a strategy.

Trust me. I got this. Watch and learn.

You know the rules. I want a good, clean wrestling match.

So if you’re gonna do something illegal, don’t let me see it.

Go to your corners and come out wrestling!

Not too hard, right?

Sorry. I just love to laugh. That’s me.

I ain’t laughing.

But I will be when I pin your face in the dirt

and break your jaw with my horns!

Boy, does that sound painful. Can’t wait.

[bell rings]

[roars]

[announcer] And here come the wrestlers, circling each other.

Hey, why don’t you circle down to Georgie’s Mattress Outlet?

Oh, gosh, you really got me on that!

I think I’m knocked out.

I am going down. Timber.

[all gasp]

[announcer] Wow.

Usually these things last long enough for me to get through a few more ads.

One!

What are you doing?

Two! Three!

Get up, drama queen.

I know you can hear me, you big faker.

Four! Five!

Get up, so I can knock you out!

Six!

Don’t you think that’s kind of a waste?

Seven! Eight!

I’m already down here.

Nine!

Stop right there, or you’re next!

[roars]

Wow. You’re really up there, huh?

No. No, no, no, no! [cries out]

[gasping]

[hooting]

Go back to your corner!

[announcer] And that’s round one.

That’s the bell.

Remember, folks, if Ramarilla gets a knockout in the second…

What was that? You are embarrassing us out there!

This isn’t Pittsmore. This is a real match.

You can’t just throw it.

Yeah, I get that now, okay?

So I just need to figure out how not to die, and then cha-ching.

That’s the sound of me making money.

There’s no money if you lose.

Wait, what? You said this was a paid match.

It is. Winner takes all.

You didn’t read the paperwork I had you sign?

Nobody reads the paperwork!

So, if you want that money,

we’re gonna have to try a very radical new strategy here.

Ready for it? Try to win.

Okay, big shot. How?

Okay. Uh, so, he’s strong.

Yeah, I got that.

He’s really freakishly strong.

But you know what that means. No stamina.

So here’s what you’re gonna do. Run away.

Uh-huh.

If he does catch you, let him hit you. Then start running again.

That’s your big plan?

Yep, and then when he’s all punched out, we make our move.

So run away and then let him hit me.

And if you get knocked down, you’re gonna get back up.

Staying down is much easier.

Get back up!

Okay!

[bell rings]

[roaring]

[hooting]

Oh, no.

Okay, so now what? Just keep going in a circle

and hope he runs out of steam?

Yes! That’s it. Come on! Come on, come on, come on!

Keep going! You’re doing it! Oh! I hope this works.

I thought you said he had no stamina!

[Winnie] It’s a theory!

[roars]

Whoo-hoo!

[all shouting]

Ha, ha! See you later, sucker!

[snorts]

Oh, that smarts.

[roars]

Keep it up! He’s slowing down!

Is he? ‘Cause it feels like he’s speeding up.

Look out!

Whoa!

[exclaiming]

[crash]

[gasps]

No, no, no, no, no, no!

Does he just not get hurt? Is that his deal?

[laughs]

[groans]

Oh!

Yes!

Yeah!

[panting]

Get up! He’s coming!

Uh-oh.

[both grunting]

Now, pin him!

I am less exhausted than you.

[both grunt]

He’s out!

[announcer] And the winner is… Steve the Stupendous?

Yes! Yes! All right! Way to go, Ray… I mean, Steve!

Oh, yeah! Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

You did it! You won!

This is winning?

Yeah. How does it feel?

It feels… not bad.

I feel not bad!

[Marc] And now for my favorite segment: “Worst Match of the Week.”

Easy choice this week, Marc. Take a look.

Oh, man. It’s really an insult to the sport.

And I don’t just mean this sport. I mean any sport!

To competitiveness, for crying out loud! This is just awful!

Okay, calm down there, Marc.

And now we’re gonna go from the bottom of the league

to the very tippy, tippy top.

[Marc] Slitherpoole!

Ooh! What a brutal takedown! And to everybody who wondered

how Tentacular would handle the big-city pressure, the answer’s simple.

He’s never wrestled better.

Who is the GOAT? G-O-A-T?

Me! The greatest of all time!

[glass shatters]

Why did he leave us? I miss him.

He’s so big, fast, strong.

Ha! Whatever the opposite is of that monster Winnie dragged here.

She just never did know when to quit.

[thudding footsteps]

[gasps]

[both sobbing]

[tattooed person] Why?

Ugh! “Worst match of the week.”

I know. My first win, and it was on TV.

[chortles] How awesome.

No.

No, it’s not awesome, Steve.

No one’s ever gonna fight us in Stoker. We’re a joke.

And just for the tiniest moment there, I was feeling okay about myself.

Yeah, well, that’s over now. Look, you still need a pile of cash, and I need to stop Jimothy from turning this into a parking lot.

We need to get serious.

[sighs] I hate getting serious.

It’s time to do it by the book. My dad’s playbook.

This is the key that’ll turn you from a zero into a hero.

Oh, “zero,” is it? That’s motivating.

Chapter One: Basic Fitness.

Oh, I’m tired already.

Yeah, let’s do this.

[upbeat music playing]

[grunts]

One.

♪ You ain’t stoppin’ me You ain’t stoppin’ me ♪

♪ You ain’t stoppin’ me… ♪

[grunts]

Okay. Give you that one.

One… quarter.

One. One. One-half.

One. One. One.

One. One.

[music off]

I don’t understand.

We’ve got the right music playing and everything.

You should be getting better.

[groans]

Probably should’ve gone lighter on breakfast.

Yes, you should have.

We’re gonna get working on your diet later, but right now, let’s go to the tape.

Look, look, look! Right there.

The Reverse STO. It can’t be defended.

Uh, are you really gonna show me film of my dad?

Of course. He was the greatest.

Yeah. Clearly it’s a thing for me.

Have you never heard of “daddy issues”?

Oh. Right. Sorry.

Okay. Uh, how about some visualization exercises?

See?

I’m crushing you.

Oh, wow, look. I don’t even have to visualize.

I could totally just do it.

[seethes] Get serious, Steve!

Oh, come on. You need to lighten up. I’m just having some fun.

Monster wrestling isn’t about fun!

Oh, okay, “Jimbo.”

[blowing]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

You don’t try!

I try not to be a stick in the mud. Maybe you ought to try that too.

You’re uncoachable!

And you’re not good at coaching!

[gasping]

[gasps]

I’m sorry, but this is why I left Stoker in the first place.

Everyone wants me to be my dad. And I’m not.

[thudding footsteps receding]

[sighs]

[sighs]

Okay. Maybe you’re right.

Maybe I’m going about this all wrong.

Let’s just start over.

[sighs]

What gets you out of bed in the morning?

What gets your heart racing, your blood pumping? What do you love to do?

Uh… nothing.

Come on. There must be something.

No, I’m sorry. I really, literally mean I like to do nothing.

I’m gonna need more than that.

Oh. Uh, sleeping?

[sighs] Really?

Yeah. Oh, yeah, really. I’m real good at it.

Or sitting is another one. I like sitting.

Not helping.

Did I mention sitting? I feel like I did. Oh, eating!

Is there anything else?

Oh, there’s also salsa, but, uh, yeah, that’s it. That’s probably it.

Like, with chips?

I said it very clear. I said salsa.

Like salsa, salsa?

I don’t like dancing.

Is that so?

[salsa music playing]

Okay, yes!

There’s nothing on this planet I love more than dancing.

I mean, you know, I prefer traditional Cuban salsa, but this up-tempo stuff’s pretty cool too.

Ha! You’re a surprisingly good dancer.

I ran with a pretty fast crowd in Cuba when my dad wrestled down there.

Wrestling is 80% footwork.

Yeah, I learned the tango in Argentina, the flamenco in Spain.

Well, anyway, that was a different life. How about this?

Hold on.

Not bad for 22 tons.

[salsa music continues]

Whoa! [groans]

Left foot.

Left foot.

Right foot.

Right foot.

Left.

And big finish!

[laughing]

Oh, yeah!

[crowd cheering]

[exclaims]

[Winnie] You’re doing great!

All right, where is he?

[growls]

I can’t even see him.

This guy is crazy fast.

[trilling]

You’ve gotta slow him down. Execute Plan Tango!

Yes, yes! Keep it up! It’s working!

Yes! Now!

[groans]

[gasps]

[bell rings]

Steve won!

Yeah! Oh!

This is embarrassing nonsense we’re witnessing right now.

[upbeat music playing]

[Steve] What are you doing?

I’m learning to dance so I can coach you better.

No, no, no, no. You are not dancing.

See? Look. See what I’m doing?

[chuckles] I’m trying.

Man, you gotta get out more.

Hey, Steve, wake up! Are you pretending to be asleep right now?

[gasps]

[exclaims]

[panting]

Two!

[exclaiming]

[screams]

Come on, push it, Steve. Pain is weakness leaving the body.

I’m awake! Whoa!

Yes.

Yes!

Steve! Whoo-hoo! Up top.

Now you’re dancing.

Okay, so, there’s no spots left in the Saturday Super Smashdown.

But some lizard dude in the Eastern League is shedding his skin right now.

Ew! Gross!

Ugh! I know.

So, they’ll take us as a replacement!

The only catch is, this guy you’re gonna wrestle, he is really big.

Like, I mean, huge!

Think of the biggest thing you’ve ever seen. Enormous!

Oh, come on.

It’s in my mouth!

Ugh!

The only way we’re gonna beat him is by getting him on his back.

So how do we do that?

[Winnie] Wait for it.

[cries out]

We’re gonna need some help.

Long time no see, Steve.

What? [gasps, groans]

Okay, get ready.

Nobody puts Ray-Ray in a corner.

[chortling]

[Winnie] Now, lift!

Come on.

Lift me!

[Winnie] Do it again! Again!

That’s it. You got it.

Whee!

[Winnie] And now, do the lift!

[grunting]

[screaming]

[sighs]

[groans]

[bell rings]

You did it! You won!

Oh, come on, Mac. This ain’t monster wrestling.

It’s an affront to the sport, and you know it.

We all should be shocked and appalled.

But somehow they’ve won three in a row.

And the way he combines traditional Cuban salsa with a hint of modern swing and then finishes with a lovely technical lift, that is a high degree of difficulty right there.

Your knowledge of dance moves is mystifying to me.

Still waters run deep, Marc. Still waters run deep.

Right, Mac. Joining us now from their latest match is Winnie Coyle and Steve the Stupendous.

[cheering]

Well, guys, congratulations on your latest win.

But, please, somebody admit it.

This is hardly wrestling. Y’all know that, right?

Uh, Coach Winnie, we’re live.

Live? We’re… We’re live. Right. Right. We’re live.

[chuckles] You know… You know what?

It is a little hot in here. I could use a fan.

Speaking of, I am a fan to you, Marc.

Big fan. Uh, you know, but just what you said before…

If it is hardly wrestling, then how come we just keep winning?

Ho, ho! She got you there, Marc.

Whatever.

You won a couple against some very, very questionable opponents.

I’ll give you that much. But what’s next for Steve the Stupendous?

You know, I was hoping you would ask that.

We are ready for our next match.

And you know where we want it? Back in Stoker!

Stoker!

Stoker!

You tell ’em, Winnie!

That’s right! We’ll wrestle any monster anytime!

So, monsters, coaches, you think you want a crack at the undefeated, unbeatable Steve the Stupendous, you give me a call.

You think you’re ready for a big match in Stoker?

Jimothy. Hey, you watching this?

Look at me. I’m shaking.

Oh, my gosh. I’m still shaking so much.

Look at my hands! Was I too much back there? I was too much, right?

Yeah, well, when it comes to wrestling, “too much” isn’t really a thing.

Oh, right.

Okay. What do we do now, Coach?

Now? We wait.

[ringtone: monster roaring]

[gasps]

Hello. This is Coach Winnie Coyle. Uh… Oh.

It’s King Gorge’s coach. It worked!

Really? He wants to wrestle Steve the Stupendous?

In Stoker? He’ll gladly accept.

[exclaims] We got a match in Stoker!

All right. Okay, King, I’ve got you a match you can’t lose.

[whining]

Oh, come on, King!

It’ll get your confidence back up. Make you feel good.

[whimpering]

New sign is looking good, Fred.

Thanks, Winnie. I made it myself.

Took me seven sheets to spell “stupendous” correctly!

S-T-O-K-E-R!

Stoker!

[Winnie] S-T-E-V-E!

[Steve] Steve!

[both] Stoker! Steve!

What’s going on?

I’m sorry, Winnie.

I know all of this really old, completely useless stuff means a lot to you, but we gotta clear it out.

They need to rig this place to blow…

What?

…up and explode.

No, no, no. They can’t do that! We don’t need to sell to Jimothy.

That’s mine.

We just got a match right here in Stoker.

Listen, Jimothy sweetened the deal if we moved up the signing date.

So, it’s a lot of money.

Uh, what? [sighs]

Please, there must be something you can do.

I’m sorry. You’re too late.

The mayor is signing the deal at Slitherpoole Stadium this afternoon.

Drink Tentaculade, the official drink of the greatest time of…

Uh, line?

Tentaculade, the official drink of the great… Um, no.

The official great… Drink greatness! This time…

Oh! This tastes disgusting.

I can’t believe this is my drink. Who approved this?

That was you, T.

Oh, me? Oh.

Okay, let’s take five, everyone.

[bell ringing]

[cameraman] All right, everyone. Let’s reset.

Mr. Jimothy? Uh, the mayor of Stoker is here for you.

I’d really just like to thank you, Mr. Jimothy.

You’ve really saved our bacon. Gosh, I’m hungry.

Oh, me too. Intermittent fast day.

I’ve been doing it for a week now, and my blood sugar is going banana…

I’m having a cookie. Can someone grab me a cookie real quick?

Stop! We don’t need to do this. Mr. Mayor, don’t sign.

I already did.

I love this part.

I’m nervous. I was practicing my signature yesterday.

I realize that I just scribble, but watch.

Just hold on!

What?

Mr. Jimothy, Stoker has a new champion wrestler that everyone in Stoker is gonna come see.

So we don’t need your money.

Is that true, Winnie?

Yes.

Steve over here just got a big-time match in Stoker against King Gorge.

That’s right.

[laughing]

King Gorge? Oh, man.

He hasn’t come out of his kennel since I destroyed him.

He’s broken.

Everybody in the game knows that.

This is so embarrassing for you. You haven’t seen this?

[Tentacular] Old Gorge is never gonna wrestle again.

And even if he did, it ain’t gonna be in Stoker Stadium.

Sign the papers, Jimothy.

I don’t understand.

Oh, you still don’t get it, do you?

It was never about the money.

Stoker Stadium is coming down because I want it to.

But why?

Because no matter how many championships I win, some chump’s always gonna be telling me that I’m not as good as Rayburn.

So I figure I can live in his shadow, or I can tear down everything that casts that shadow.

Boom!

Wow. And I thought I had issues. That’s just crazy.

Who asked you? You make me sick.

Dancin’ ain’t wrestlin’.

You’re pathetic.

Hey, hey, put him down!

Okay.

[grunts, groans]

Oh! This is gonna go so viral!

Please don’t do this.

That stadium is everything to that town.

To me.

Please don’t take that away.

Winnie, this isn’t about you.

It’s all about me.

Sign the papers, Jimothy.

[seethes] You’re okay with this?

With him destroying everything you and Dad built?

Winnie, let me tell you something. I loved your dad.

And he did great things with Rayburn.

But now it’s my chance to do great things with Tentacular.

That’s just wrestling.

[groaning]

What you’re doing with this dancing, I’m just glad Jimbo ain’t around to see it.

[sighs]

[sighs]

[groans]

You have enough money to pay Lady Mayhen now.

You don’t need me. Just leave me alone.

Even if I wanted to…

[grunts]

…I’m pretty sure I live here now.

[sighs] I thought I was saving my dad’s legacy.

And instead, I ruined it.

I’ve made the Coyle name a joke.

Well, the good news is, you can always change your name and run away.

That worked for you, Steve.

But if I’m not Winnie Coyle, I’m nothing.

Come on, Winnie.

What a sad end to the legacy of Stoker.

I told you, Mac! I told you!

The whole thing was a joke and a disgrace to the sport!

To the Coyle name! I’ll tell you that too!

And I for one am glad it’s over.

Well, it was fun while it lasted.

And I still think Steve has a bright dancing future ahead of him.

Oh, please! Who cares about dancing, anyway?

Everyone cares about dancing! Live a little, Marc!

[thunder crashes]

Look who’s back.

[sighs] It’s all there.

I should know, ’cause I counted every dollar bill, and they are… they’re tiny.

Ah. Your old locker’s waiting, Steve.

[sighs]

[Lady Mayhen] Welcome back, twinkle toes. We missed you.

It seems like you are the hot new favorite after all of your adventures.

Cha-cha-cha!

We got a lot of money on you to win tonight.

And I’m gonna keep all of it when you lose.

Yeah, I know the drill.

You always were my best loser.

[door opens, closes]

[people chattering]

[vehicles revving]

[sighs]

Hey. You did everything you could.

Then why do I feel like I let everyone down?

Oh, honey, you didn’t.

What you did out there, coaching Ray-Ray, you were incredible.

You should be so proud of yourself.

It’s okay, Mom. I don’t care about that anymore.

Froyo. Froyo makes everything better.

What flavor do you want?

Chocolate.

You got it.

[door closes]

[sighs]

[screams]

Oh, my gosh. What are you doing here?

Ow! Right in the eye!

I’m sorry!

No.

That’s all right. I should’ve called first.

But, you know, I don’t have a phone. Or pockets or…

[chuckles] Look, I need my coach back.

[scoffs] Don’t you get it?

We’re a total joke. We don’t belong in the ring.

Hey, you know that feeling that you’re feeling right now?

That’s how I felt my whole life.

I spent so much time running away from what I thought I should be or what people expected me to be that I never found out what I could be.

And now… now I have.

And I know that I’m never gonna be the GOAT or win the Big Belt, and that is just fine.

But I am not going back to being a loser.

And that’s on you.

You ruined losing for me.

And you know what? It feels good.

I feel good for, like, the first time.

So, thank you.

Rayburn, I…

Thank you.

Mmm.

Okay, okay. Enough with the sappy stuff.

Ugh.

I am here to help you save that stadium.

What?

[Jimothy] With this super-sweet satellite parking lot, you’ll be able to park on quality asphalt.

Stuff you guys haven’t seen in a while.

And we’ve put some beautiful yellow lines right on there.

And then you can take the shuttle…

Uh, is that a fin on top? [laughs] I’ll never tell… and see Tentacular wrestle once again in classy and distant Slitherpoole.

[jeering]

[Fred] Hot dogs are on you!

Hey, buddy. I’m getting hurt. If we can blow this up and get out, that’d be great.

With pleasure!

Five, four, three, two, one. Go!

[gasping]

Ha!

[quizzical grunts]

Well, that was disappointing.

[hip-hop music playing]

What’s the matter, boys? You show up, but no blow up.

Oh, not these clowns again.

That’s right.

What, are you scared of clowns?

I mean, obviously some of them seem kinda creepy, but, you know, us?

Yeah! And we’re here to challenge you, you big jabroni!

Jabroni?

You heard her.

I’m calling you out, “Spentacular.”

I’m gonna wrestle you right here in Stoker.

No. Yeah, right!

Why would I wrestle a nobody loser like you, Steve?

Oh. My name is not Steve.

I’m the son of the greatest monster wrestler of all time.

[all gasp]

My name is Rayburn Jr.

That’s…

It can’t be.

Oh, yeah! Feel the burn… the Rayburn!

Yes!

Rayburn!

There is absolutely no way. Are you kidding me?

Oh, I see it.

[panting]

Are you okay?

Yeah. Felt pretty good to get it off my chest.

You’re Rayburn’s kid?

You bet he is.

If you really wanna blow up Rayburn’s legacy, then fight his son.

He’s standing right in front of you.

[crowd chanting “Rayburn”]

I would destroy you!

Oh. Like you destroyed King Gorge?

Why don’t you “tell” us all about that one.

What? Oh, no.

What was it? The third round? I bet we could beat that, Rayburn.

We said one, not three. We were gonna go for one round.

I got excited. Just go with it.

[clears throat] Um, right, three. That’s right.

What? You think you could go three rounds with Tentacular?

[chortles] I think we should make a bet.

A bet?

We’ll go three rounds with you.

And if I survive, Stoker keeps the stadium.

I mean, unless you’re ch-ch-ch-chicken.

[imitating chicken clucking]

[crowd laughing]

Fine! It’s on! By the time Tentacular’s done, there’s not gonna be a thing left of you, this town, or your overrated dads.

Tentacular’s gonna bury it all.

Let’s see you try.

Let’s see you try right here in Stoker.

[crowd cheering, chanting “Stoker”]

[seethes]

Incredible scenes in Stoker. Rayburn Jr.

That’s right, son of the legendary Rayburn…

What did he just say?

[speaking French]

[speaking Japanese]

Holy…

Guacamole and chips for lunch today.

[bird caws]

And everyone is totally super excited for what they are calling the match of the century.

And though Rayburn Jr…

Whoa!

Steve is Rayburn Jr.!

Big boots to fill, Marc. Well, if he’d worn boots.

But I’m thinking about it now, and I don’t remember him wearing boots. So scratch that.

But for now it’s goodbye Steve the Stupendous, and hello, Rayburn Jr.!

[groans, sobbing]

[groans]

[Winnie] Okay, the town has come together and built this spectacular anti-Tentacular agility and evasion training device, otherwise known as the Gauntlet of Doom!

[Rayburn] That’s not a fun name.

[Winnie] Nothing we’ve done comes close to going three rounds with Tentacular.

But we might just have a shot if you can survive the gauntlet and reach my dad’s statue.

Uh-oh.

All right, twinkle toes.

Put on your red shoes. Let’s dance.

[“Tubthumping” playing]

[shouts]

Ooh!

[Winnie] Let’s do it again.

[Rayburn exclaiming]

[snoring]

[Winnie] The most important thing you gotta do is neutralize Tentacular’s biggest threat.

His right hook.

No, it’s in his name.

[Rayburn] Oh, his tentacles. I was gonna say his tentacles.

We’re gonna use every trick you learned in the underground, every step you learned on your global dance journey that you do not talk about.

Oh, come on!

[Winnie] Every fake-out and foxtrot.

Singin’ in the Rain.

The Worm.

Pop and lock.

They say offense is the best defense?

No! Defense is the best defense!

It doesn’t have to look pretty. It just has to get us through the third.

Come on. That was pretty.

To survival!

[cheering]

Ah-ah! You’re not done yet.

[gasping]

[grunting]

[panting]

[grunting]

Am I ready now?

Mm-hmm. You’re ready, Rayburn.

Oh, yeah! I’m stoked to be back in Stoker.

[laughs] We all are! Whoo!

Tonight is going to go down in history as the greatest match ever or the shortest, most painful embarrassment to ever happen in professional monster wrestling.

I’m praying it’s a great match, ’cause I got something to tell you.

I am not interested in going home tonight.

It sounds like there’s a story there, but I’m gonna have to cut you off, Marc, because I am just hearing we’re moments away from the competitors entering the ring.

[exhales sharply]

You ready, champ?

It’s show time.

[joints crack]

[groans]

Well, that ruined my cool entrance.

[ring announcer] Ladies and gentlemen, World Monster Wrestling presents a special event.

One stadium. One last chance.

Two monsters.

The Smackdown to Save the Stadium!

Let him win!

In this corner, weighing in at 22 tons, standing 43 feet tall, from Stoker, Rayburn Jr.!

[salsa music playing]

[crowd cheering]

Oh, yeah.

Rayburn Jr.!

[Fred] You got this, Winnie!

[laughing] Hey, everybody.

I know her! She eats in my diner!

[Mac] Look at the confidence, Marc.

[Marc] Somebody’s gotta say this about Rayburn Jr.

We know he’s audacious, he’s courageous, but three rounds with Tentacular?

What is he thinking? He might be losing his monster mind.

I just don’t know.

[Mac] There is so much riding on him tonight.

Let’s not forget to mention that in his corner is the young rookie coach Winnie Coyle.

That’s right: daughter of the legendary coach Jimbo Coyle.

Winnie, no matter what happens tonight, your father would be so proud of you.

Thanks, Mom.

[ring announcer] And now, in his return to Stoker, the undefeated reigning holder of the Big Belt:

Tentacular!

[crowd jeering]

What’s going on, Stoker?

Oh, you miss this?

Forget about it!

‘Cause you ain’t ever seeing one of these again.

[Winnie] Ray, you okay?

Rayburn! Are you with me?

[gasps]

I am literally terrified.

I don’t think I can do this. I can’t be him.

[Winnie] No, you can’t.

But we don’t have to be our dads.

We just have to be ourselves. You showed me that.

They wrote their stories, and we’re writing ours right now.

And, yeah, maybe theirs was all dramatic and super serious, and maybe ours is more like a slapstick comedy.

Oh, I love those.

Me too. Especially ones about friends.

So, are you ready to go out there and look ridiculous tonight?

Yes.

How ridiculous?

Very, very ridiculous!

And do we care?

We don’t care.

Uh, I can’t hear you.

We do not care!

Now, buck up, put your game face on, because it’s time to wrestle.

And dance. Both!

Whoa. Time out. Was that a coach speech?

Man, I feel so inspired!

You do?

Yeah.

You should’ve done that before every match.

All right, wrestlers, to the center of the ring.

Okay, let’s go make it through the third.

And if you live, let’s get froyo afterwards.

Oh, I love froyo. Wait, if I live?

Okay, champ, let’s get this over quick.

I got a hot date at the Kaiju Lodge with Edna. [chortles]

[growls]

I want a good, clean match, and obey my rules at all times.

Okay, touch appendages and come out wrestling.

Ow! Ow!

Let’s dan…

[gasps]

[all gasp]

[sighs] Guess I’m going home.

Looks that way, Marc.

Yeah!

What? I’m texting.

Oh, did we win? Should I celebrate?

No, wait. I’m up.

That was a good shot. Kind of lucky, but I’m all right.

What?

What are you waiting for? Go get him.

[Marc] Oh, come on. Really? Really?

Rayburn isn’t even trying to wrestle.

He thinks he’s gonna dance his way through this.

It would appear that way, Marc. And I gotta say it’s working.

Watch his hands, not his shimmering salsa feet!

Yes! That’s it!

[Marc] Really? We came out here for this?

[Mac] Look at that! Tentacular can’t get near him!

Look out!

[Mac] Missed again.

[Marc] Here we go! Oh, there it is!

Watch the tentacles!

What?

[Mac] Oh, and he gets away.

Oh! Right into the post!

Yes!

[Marc] I can’t believe what I’m seeing.

Rayburn hasn’t landed a single blow, and he’s still in the match.

[Rayburn] Take that, traitor!

[Fred] Tonight’s special: fried calamari!

[Marc] Tentacular is seething mad, and I don’t blame him one bit.

I mean, can we have our money back?

Yeah, I really hate to sit here and say that you’re right about anything, Marc, but I’m not even sure we can call this a monster wrestling match right now.

We’re doing this. We’re actually doing this.

Hey, stay focused. We’re not ordering froyo yet.

Okay, champ, he thinks he’s got us with his sweet moves, but he don’t know we got a few moves of our own.

Why don’t we ask him to dance?

Don’t mind if I do.

[crowd cheers]

Come on, Rayburn! Dance around him, not with him!

[Mac] Looks like Siggy’s done his homework.

Is that a Paso Doble step routine?

[Marc] They’re both dancing now. Good grief.

I can’t take this. I can’t take this.

[Marc] Look at Tentacular go!

Attaboy!

[shouts]

[Marc] What a sweet move.

I’m not watching.

[Marc] There it is!

Don’t let him corner you! Get out there!

[Marc] This match is over.

[Mac] Not yet.

I don’t know what we’re watching at this point, but you know what?

I like it. I like it a lot.

Maybe more than monster wrestling.

[Marc] Oh, come on!

[Mac] Oh, man.

Tentacular is all over him like a bad rash right now.

Ah, this is too easy.

You like that, Stoker? Bam!

Suplex!

[Mac] Oh, this is a massacre.

The ref’s gonna have to step in and stop this.

[Winnie] Rayburn, heads up!

[Marc] Oh!

Oh, no!

[Marc] It’s a wrap, y’all. This match is over.

[grunting]

[jeering]

[Tentacular] You’re an embarrassment to your dad’s name!

You come out this next round, I’m gonna end you, then bury what’s left under the ruins of the stadium.

All right, that’s the bell! Break it up, break it up!

[sighs]

Tentacular didn’t want that round to end.

I can’t see this lasting much longer, Mac.

[Mac] All he has to do is hold on for this one last round, and he saves the stadium.

[Marc] Not happening, Mac.

Tentacular’s about to destroy Rayburn Jr. You can book that.

Winnie, listen to me. This ain’t good.

There’s no stopping T when he smells blood in the water.

I’m begging you, don’t put Ray-Ray back out there.

You wanna be a real coach? Think of your monster first.

[gasps]

[Rayburn panting]

[Mac] It’s over.

Winnie Coyle is throwing in the towel.

Wait. What are you doing?

It’s just a building, Ray.

Winnie. Ray-Ray.

I want you to remember: This stadium isn’t your dads’ legacy.

You are.

Who’s chicken now, huh? You’re nothing, you hear me!

You’ll always be nothing!

[crowd chanting “Rayburn Jr.”]

[spectator] We love you, Rayburn Jr.!

I wanna keep going.

No. Ray, it’s not worth it.

Yes, it is.

But we’re gonna have to try a radical new strategy.

You ready for it?

Try to win.

To win.

We gotta take the fight to him.

He can’t hit me if I’m hitting him, right?

Right.

It’s just one round.

We can do this, but you’ve gotta do something for me.

Anything.

You gotta coach me up.

Are you coming back out?

Hey, Siggy. We’re not quite done.

Oh, yeah.

[crowd cheering]

Hmm?

Wait a second. It looks like Rayburn’s gonna fight on.

I am not sure that’s a good idea.

Are you serious right now? I cannot believe this.

Tell me when it’s over, Marc. I can’t watch.

Do it for Stoker!

Then combine the Renegade with the Roundhouse Tail Whip, and if he anticipates and gets a hold of you,

hit him as hard as you can right in the tentacles.

Just to be clear, you are saying “tentacles,” right?

Yeah. Tentacles. Okay.

[relieved sigh]

Everything you need to win is in here, in here and in here.

[chuckles]

You got this.

You should’ve stayed down, chump!

You don’t know what you’ve got yourself into!

[shouting]

[shouting]

Yes!

What is this?

Rayburn knocked the champ down! I can’t believe it!

[chuckles] It’s on.

[Marc] It’s almost like we finally got a wrestling match.

[spectator] Come on, Rayburn!

[Marc] Now they’re actually going toe-to-toe, like it’s supposed to be.

Come on, huh? What are we waiting for?

He shouldn’t even be in the same ring with you. Throw this bum out.

No, no, no! Don’t let him in so close!

[Marc] That’s what I’m talking about.

Time to shut this dance club down.

[Mac] Oh! That can’t feel good!

Yeah!

No, it didn’t.

Rayburn! Don’t play his game. Feel the rhythm.

[Mac] Well, this is way more of a match than we were expecting.

[Winnie] Come on, Rayburn. Let me see those sweet feet.

[Marc] Coach Winnie’s invented a whole new style of wrestling, and Tentacular can’t deal with it.

He looks completely lost.

I’m seeing ghosts out there, Sig!

He’s making a joke out of us.

He switches it up every time.

T, look out!

[Mac] Rayburn, out of nowhere.

He’s on his heels. Keep it up!

[Marc] Oh, this is special. I’ve never seen a match like this before.

[Mac] Slams him down. Oh, but Rayburn comes back with the clothesline.

I’m not saying I was wrong, because I’m never wrong, but I may not have been entirely correct about these kids.

[Mac] I mean, this is truly incredible.

I never thought I would see the day that Marc admitted he was wrong about something.

[Marc] First time for everything.

The round’s almost over! Just hold on!

Holding on is the only thing I’m doing!

[Mac] Oh, no. Tentacular has got him.

Oh, the piledriver!

[Marc] What? He’s back up?

[Mac] He’s spinning like a B-boy!

But Tentacular was ready for it.

This is not looking good for Rayburn.

[Winnie] Suckers!

What?

The suckers!

Oh!

[laughs] Sucker!

[Marc] What is this?

[Mac chuckling] Rayburn landed a huge blow there.

Okay, Ray, make this count!

I got this, Winnie.

[Marc] I can’t believe it! Tentacular actually looks like he’s in trouble!

Come on!

Huh?

[groaning]

[exclaims]

Why?

[Marc] Did you see that? Did you see that?

Oh! They’re both down!

No! Rayburn!

[referee] One.

[Siggy] Come on, champ.

Get up.

Two.

Come on, Rayburn, get up!

Three.

Get up.

[referee] Four.

He’s done, T.

Five.

Come on, Rayburn.

Get up!

[mother] Come on, Rayburn!

Get up! Oh!

Come on! Do it for Stoker!

[sighs]

[clapping]

Come on! Everybody!

[gasps]

Yes!

Oh, yeah! Feel the burn!

Oh, my goodness, Rayburn is up! I can’t believe it!

What is even happening right now?

[Marc] Oh! Rayburn psyched him out! Are you kidding me?

Looks like we’re all tied up.

[gasps]

[shouting]

[Marc] Rayburn’s got him with a Tentacle Whip. The champ’s up against the ropes.

Come on! Now!

[Rayburn] Get ready for the Moon Boom!

[Marc] Rayburn slammed him! And the champ is down!

One. Two. Three.

Champ, get up!

Four. Five.

Six.

Six.

Seven.

Seven.

I can’t watch!

Eight.

Nine!

Nine!

[Siggy] Get up, T!

Ten! You’re out!

[bell ringing]

[Marc] Oh, my goodness! This is incredible!

Rayburn Jr. has done it! I’m speechless!

Yes!

That’s my girl! Yep, I’m her mom.

And that’s her monster!

Fred.

What? We won?

[crowd chanting “Rayburn Jr.”]

Whoo! Ha, ha!

Oh, we did it! I’m gonna get reelected!

[growls]

Fried calamari for everybody!

Wait, what? No, he didn’t beat me!

[wailing] No!

Whoa! Our little Stevie won, Klonk!

I’m so proud.

Winnie.

I know, Mom.

Winnie, we did it! We saved the stadium!

You sure did, champ.

Champ? Champ?

Champ!

[ring announcer] And now, the new holder of the Big Belt,

Rayburn Jr.!

Hey, Winnie.

Uh, hey, Siggy.

I was wrong. You got a heck of a monster there, Winnie.

And he’s got a heck of a coach.

Thanks, Siggy.

Hey, big guy, get on over here.

You just pulled off the greatest upset in the history of monster wrestling.

How do you feel?

I feel like… dancing!

Dancing!

[upbeat music playing]

Really?

Oh, yeah!

Whoo-hoo!

[rhythmic grunting]

[upbeat music continues]

[growling]

I’m okay, for those who were worried.

[rhythmic grunting]

[scatting]

Yeah!

Shake it! Yeah!

Whoo-hoo!

[chuckles] Check the lady out!

Whoo!

[rhythmic whooping]

[rhythmic grunting]

Here we go! Yeah!

[bones snap]

Ow!

[Rayburn belches]

[sighs deeply]

[Winnie groans] That was way too much froyo.

Oh! I got a serious brain freeze.

[exclaims]

Training tomorrow, 6:00 a.m.

[groans] And body freeze.

Serious body freeze. That’s an actual thing. It’s medical.

Don’t know if I’ll be able to make it.

[hip-hop music playing]

[salsa music playing]

[upbeat dance music playing]

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