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Wednesday – S01E08 – A Murder of Woes | Transcript

Wednesday lands in trouble with Principal Weems, but that's just the start of her problems. To fight an ancient evil, she'll need all her friends' help.
Wednesday (TV series)

Original release date: November 23, 2022

Wednesday and her classmates lure Tyler into the forest, where they kidnap him. Seeking a confession, Wednesday starts torturing Tyler. Disagreeing with her methods, her classmates alert Weems, and Wednesday is arrested. At the police station, Tyler finally confesses to being the monster. Fed up with Wednesday’s behavior, Weems expels her from Nevermore. Wednesday visits Eugene at the hospital, who tells her that the figure he saw at the monster’s cave wore red boots, matching Ms. Thornhill’s. Using her shapeshifting powers, Weems and Wednesday get Thornhill to confess her true identity—Laurel Gates. However, Gates is able to kill Weems and subdue Wednesday. Using Wednesday’s blood, Gates resurrects Crackstone and leaves Wednesday to die, but Goody appears to heal her. Enid, having finally transformed into her werewolf form, defeats Tyler in his Hyde form while Crackstone breaches Nevermore in his pursuit to destroy the school. With help from Bianca, Wednesday destroys Crackstone, and Eugene helps defeat Gates. Xavier is released from prison, Tyler is detained, and Wednesday departs Nevermore, which is closing for the remainder of the semester.

* * *

[low, menacing music playing]

Thing gave me your note.

I was surprised you wanted to see me again after you ran out the other night.

So, uh, is this a date?

It’s a surprise.

[wry chuckle]

When I came to Nevermore, romance was the last thing on my mind.

But when you kissed me, you opened my eyes and suddenly it all made sense.

[confused scoff]

Xavier warned me about you, but I didn’t listen.

Ironic now, huh?

Ironic would’ve been framing Xavier for murder while the real Hyde helped me put him away.

Wait… you don’t think…

I don’t think. I know.

Kinbott probably discovered your secret during one of your sessions.

So she unlocked you.

Why’d you kill her?

I thought Hydes were typically loyal to their masters.

Wednesday, this is nuts.

On Outreach Day, I told you I was visiting the old meeting house.

[Hyde snarls]

Did Kinbott send you to spy on me?

At the Rave’N, you overheard Eugene and me discussing your cave in the woods and you warned Kinbott.

Eugene probably saw her torching it.

Then she sent you to clean up her mess.

I have to hand it to you, Tyler.

Wounding yourself that night at the Gates mansion, that was a masterstroke of misdirection.

Okay, stop. Do you know how insane you sound right now?

I’m not a monster.

A… And if you really thought that I was, why would you risk bringing me out to the woods to confront me alone?

Who said I was alone?

Okay, I don’t know what kind of sick joke you’re playing, but I’m out of here.

Actually… you’re coming with us.

[disconcerting audio distortions]

[snaps]

[tense, unnerving music playing]

Welcome back.

Where the hell am I?

Somewhere no one can hear your screams.

What’s with the chains?

Don’t ask stupid questions.

Wednesday, this is crazy. I’m a normie.

That’s only half true.

Do you recognize her?

Perhaps if I hadn’t been so distracted by my own mother hogging this photo, I would have noticed yours sooner.

Your father fell in love and married an outcast.

[Tyler] My mom was an outcast. That doesn’t make me a monster.

According to her personal medical records…

You stole her medical records?

Technically, Thing did.

He took them from your garage. Your father’s quite the pack rat.

Her postpartum depression triggered her condition.

My mom had severe bipolar disorder.

We both know that’s a lie.

She was a Hyde.

And your father has been living his life in dread, never quite sure whether or not she passed her condition on to you.

Are you all gonna stand there and let her do this to me?

Uh, guys? Enid just texted.

Thornhill’s suspicious.

How long until he morphs into that… thing?

I’m not the monster.

You are. I saw it in a vision at the Weathervane.

Wait, you’re basing all this off some vision you had after we kissed?

I mean, is that something you can trust?

[Bianca] Wednesday, what are you doing?

Just some light torture. Don’t worry, I won’t leave a mark.

[Bianca] Wednesday, hold on.

[Ajax] Wait. Are you being serious?

There’s only one thing that a Hyde understands.

Pain.

Wait! No, Wednesday!

Wednesday!

That’s it. I’m out!

[Nightshade member] Us too.

No.

Wait.

No, I’m done.

Wednesday, I didn’t sign up for this.

Let’s go to Weems, explain everything.

Weems won’t help.

And Tyler is always one step ahead of his father.

Then you’re on your own.

[Tyler panting]

No, don’t leave me here with her, please! I’m begging you, please!

[grim, foreboding music playing]

[tasers sparking]

[jauntily macabre music playing]

[Kinbott] When I press him on his mother or any sensitive issue, he snaps, becoming cold and detached.

It’s like I’m talking to a different person.

I’m increasingly concerned.

I believe the trauma of losing his mother may have left Tyler with deeper psychological scars than I suspected.

[cell phone ringing]

[Galpin] Hello?

Sheriff Galpin.

We have a problem.

And her name is Wednesday Addams.

What is Kinbott, or should I say Laurel Gates, using you for?

[weakly] Wednesday, please.

Tyler, the body parts in the basement of the Gates mansion, what was she collecting them for?

I don’t understand. Why are you doing this?

[sirens wailing, approaching]

Let’s test your reflexes.

[Tyler] I’m in here!

Get away from my son! Drop it.

Drop it.

[hammer clatters]

[officer] Sign here.

[indistinct police radio chatter]

Sheriff Galpin isn’t pressing kidnapping charges.

Which is a miracle given the circumstances.

Of course not.

How long have you known?

Excuse me?

When I gave you that claw from the cave, did you already know?

Wednesday, that’s enough.

[Galpin] Xavier Thorpe is our Hyde.

We’ve got evidence, thanks to you. That’s why I’m giving you one pass.

Tyler is going to turn on you too.

Let’s go.

Get out.

We… Wednesday, wait.

Tyler! No, no, what are you doing?

I need to talk to her, Dad.

She was my friend.

We’re in a police station. What’s gonna happen?

Make it quick.

What do you want?

To ask a question.

What does it feel like?

What does what feel like?

To lose.

[chilling music playing]

You know, at first, I’d wake up naked, covered in blood, no idea what happened.

But over time, I started to remember everything.

The sound of their screams, the panic in their eyes, and a fear so primal I could taste it.

And it was delicious.

You have no idea what’s coming.

[music swells, fades away]

[barely restrained seething]

The quid pro quo for Sheriff Galpin not pressing charges is your immediate expulsion from Nevermore.

The others had nothing to do with this.

I acted alone.

For someone who claims to have no friends, you certainly protect them.

They didn’t have guts to do what needed to be done.

You mean kidnapping and torture? I should hope not.

You do realize that Tyler brutally disemboweled six people, then harvested a variety of their body parts.

Perhaps if you’d come to me with your suspicions rather than take matters into your own hands, we could’ve worked together.

Because trust and cooperation have always been hallmarks of our relationship.

[weary chuckle]

[gloomy music playing]

I admire your ability to be your own person and trust your own instincts.

But that also makes you impatient and impulsive.

Your actions have put me and the school in an impossible position.

Tyler is the Hyde.

And he has framed Xavier. He confessed everything to me!

I wish I could believe you.

His mother was an outcast.

She was a student here, you must remember her.

She was a Hyde!

Yes, Francois. A lovely woman.

I didn’t ask what she identified as.

Then give me more time, and I can prove they are Hydes.

There is no more time, and there are no more deals, Wednesday.

Pack your steamer trunks.

We will have them shipped.

And say your goodbyes.

You’ll be on the afternoon train tomorrow.

I’m sorry Nevermore didn’t work out for you, Wednesday.

I’m sure your mother will be very disappointed.

And so am I.

[lachrymose music playing]

[Xavier sighs]

Xavier… I’m not sure how much time we have.

Thing distracted the guards and is looping the cameras.

What are you doing here?

I know you’re not the Hyde.

Tyler used me to frame you. He is the actual Hyde.

How do you know?

I saw it in a vision when he kissed me.

[suspenseful music playing]

I’m… glad you were getting some action while I was falsely accused.

I should’ve believed you.

But since you seem to have some psychic connection to the Hyde, I was curious if you’ve drawn anything that might shed light on this?

You want my help?

You ruined my life!

No.

I tried being your friend.

Look where that got me.

This isn’t about us, Xavier.

No, it’s about you!

Every time you get involved, people get hurt.

You’re toxic.

All you ever do is make things worse.

Tyler warned me something bad was coming. I think…

I don’t care!

Do you want to stop this? Then leave.

Go far away and never come back.

Do you understand?

That can’t happen if you’re not here.

That’s how you save everyone, okay?

So, go.

Leave!

[disbelieving scoff]

[tense music builds, fades away]

[typewriter dings]

[clasp locks]

I can’t believe I’m actually going to miss your creepy, lifeless eyes waking me up.

It won’t be the same without you.

So I assume you’ll be moving in with Yoko.

Leaving me in the past.

Not ever.

What about you?

Will you forget about me?

Enid… the mark you have left on me is indelible.

Anytime I grow nauseous at the sight of a rainbow

or hear a pop song that makes my ears bleed,

I’ll think of you.

[subdued, whimsical music playing]

Thanks.

I guess.

I always believed relying on other people to be a sign of weakness.

That inevitably they would lead me to disappointment.

Turns out I’ve been the disappointment.

Are you kidding me?

I’ve learned so much from you.

Part of it is admittedly criminal behavior,

but… most people spend their entire lives pretending to give zero effs,

and you literally never had an eff to give.

Any chance you’ve got some sort of sneaky plan to elude Weems?

Xavier’s right.

This prophecy cannot come true if I’m not here.

But it kills me to leave when Tyler is still walking around free.

If he tries anything,

we have a school full of gorgons, vampires, and werewolves,

ready and waiting.

We’ve got this, Wednesday. I promise.

On a good note,

I got a text from Eugene’s moms.

He woke up last night.

Maybe Weems’ll let you drop by on your way to the station.

[Thing snapping insistently]

I think we’re all set.

[Enid] Thing,

I’m going to miss our makeup tutorials.

And you better keep sending me moisturizing tips.

Stay in touch, okay?

So, we’re gonna…

You’re right.

Not hugging is kind of our thing.

[dramatic music playing]

The plan wasn’t to get you expelled.

We’re sorry.

The Nightshades need to be ready for what’s coming.

Or a lot of people are going to die.

I’m so glad I caught you.

I was weeding my wolfsbane, and I just completely lost track of time.

This is a parting gift.

White oleander, one of nature’s deadliest.

It also symbolizes destiny and renewal.

You’re a very talented young woman, Wednesday.

I can’t wait to see what you do next.

[Weems] Wednesday.

This time I’m personally escorting you to your train.

I have one final favor.

[sighs]

[Eugene] Wednesday!

Eugene.

Glad to see you’re finally awake.

I heard you visited all the time.

Don’t ever mention it again.

[chuckles]

Listen, I’ve been meaning to tell you…

I shouldn’t have gone to the dance. I should have been with you.

When the dance floor calls, you gotta answer.

It’s not your fault. It’s the monster’s.

It’s actually called a Hyde.

It’s still out there. You can’t go back to Nevermore.

Not even to check on your bees.

And you have to listen to me this time.

I thought hummers were supposed to stick together.

[somber music playing]

That night in the woods,

someone set fire to that cave.

Yes, Dr. Kinbott.

It’s so crazy that it was her.

I don’t really remember any of it.

I just saw someone wearing black and those boots.

What about her boots?

There was an explosion of light

and just for a moment,

I saw that they weren’t black.

They were red.

[sinister music building]

[door closes]

Wednesday.

I thought you’d be halfway to New Jersey by now.

You can drop the act, Laurel.

I should have known it was you.

Faking your death,

securing a job at Nevermore,

unlocking a Hyde.

Typically, I have great admiration for well-executed revenge plots.

But yours was a bit extreme, even for my high standards.

Oh, dear.

Weems was right.

You do need psychiatric help.

Can’t throw out wild accusations without consequences.

They may be wild… but they’re true.

Tyler told me everything.

Initially I incorrectly accused Kinbott of using hypnosis to unlock him.

But you used a plant-derived chemical, didn’t you?

[scoffs]

[Wednesday] I know your father kept tabs on all the outcasts in town.

So I assume he told you about the Galpin family secret when you were just a girl.

That’s why you targeted Tyler.

You manipulated him by showing him what his mother truly was.

What Tyler didn’t realize is that truth wouldn’t free him.

I’m so sorry.

It would enslave him to you.

That was scary at first, so you used the cave and the shackles.

[chains rattling]

But eventually he willingly became your servant.

And when Kinbott came close to discovering the truth,

you had Tyler kill her and pin it on Xavier.

Ugh. That’s enough.

Tyler, honey, make Mama happy and shut her up.

Permanently.

He’s not on your side.

Tyler will do anything for me.

Remember what I told you?

I showed you who you really are.

What they did to your mother…

[whispering] The outcasts made you a monster.

If you only hate outcasts, why is he killing normies as well?

They’re just pawns in a bigger game.

Just like you, Wednesday.

Once again, you’ve underestimated the situation.

You were never getting on that train.

I sent Tyler to intercept you.

I never made it to the station.

Heard enough?

[dramatic, revelatory music playing]

Your slave is probably still at the station.

Don’t make this more difficult than it already is, Marilyn.

My name is Laurel!

[sharp stinger]

[suspenseful music builds]

[grunting]

[Weems gasping]

[Wednesday] Principal Weems! Principal Weems!

[Weems shuddering]

[Weems exhales softly]

Nightshade poisoning.

[Laurel] A fitting end, don’t you think?

[clang]

[sinister music playing]

[upbeat pop music playing faintly]

[both chuckling]

[claws rasp]

Whoa.

Are you okay?

You’re not gonna, like, wolf out on me, are you?

It is a full blood moon.

I’m okay, I think.

But this is helping.

[“Flight of the Bumblebee” playing as ring tone]

[Enid chuckles]

[phone chimes]

Hey! Eugene, how are you?

Have you seen Wednesday?

No, she left this afternoon. Didn’t she swing by to see you?

Listen, Principal Weems and her went and confronted Ms. Thornhill.

But I haven’t heard a peep from either of them.

Why would they confront Ms. Thornhill?

Because she’s behind everything that’s happened.

She’s the bad guy… bad woman.

She’s just a really bad person.

Okay. Ajax and I will go check out the conservatory.

Yo. Bee boy, welcome back.

What’s he doing in your room?

Um…

[door opens]

Wha…?

[rousing music playing]

Slow down! What happened?

Principal Weems?

What the hell is going on?

What about Wednesday?

Tyler and Thornhill took her?

Where?

Crackstone’s crypt, what the heck?

Who are the Nightshades?

I’ll… I’ll explain on the way.

Come on.

Guys. Guys?

Calm down, Eugene.

That gorgon is a moron.

It… It could be dangerous.

If Enid’s right, and Wednesday’s been taken,

we need to call the sheriff.

Mom, I’ve got to go.

Wednesday’s my only friend, and if she’s in trouble, I’ve got to help.

It’s hive code.

[rousing music fades away]

[Wednesday inhales groggily]

[manacles clatter]

[Wednesday seething]

Kind of a déjà vu thing we got going on, huh?

Except I won’t cry and whine like a child.

[Laurel] Tyler, go wait by the boat.

Yes.

Listen to your master and be a good little Hyde.

[jittery, creepy music playing]

[Laurel] I have to admit…

[door opens]

…that shape-shifting stunt with Weems almost worked.

[door closes]

But as my father always said,

“If you want to outsmart an outcast, you got to out-think ’em.”

You know, we have roots that go all the way back to Joseph Crackstone.

So you come from a line of psychotic killers too.

Joseph Crackstone was a visionary,

dedicated to protecting normies from outcasts

until his life was cut short

by your ancestor, Goody Addams.

And then, to add insult to injury,

they stole his land to build that abomination of a school.

But,

throughout the centuries,

my family has remained committed to Crackstone’s mission.

My brother died serving that cause.

I decided to take a different approach.

The supernatural.

Tyler’s been collecting these body parts to resurrect Crackstone.

The one man who nearly succeeded in eradicating the outcasts.

You can’t wake the dead.

Believe me, I’ve tried.

I believe your ancestor Goody Addams would disagree.

Goody’s Book of Shadows.

You’re the one that stole the original from Pilgrim World.

It wasn’t enough for Goody to kill Crackstone.

She had to curse his soul too.

What does this have to do with me?

My dear Wednesday,

you are the key.

Your arrival at Nevermore set the chubby wheels of my plan in motion.

Goody sealed Crackstone in his sarcophagus with a blood lock.

Only one of her direct descendants can open it.

You are the key.

A living descendant on the night of a blood moon.

So… I bided my time,

and I made you feel special

until you were ready to be sacrificed.

[music swells]

[grunting] Damn it.

[Galpin] Quiet!

Santiago, what’s up?

Sir, we got a situation.

Eugene Ottinger’s mom just called, frantic.

Something’s going on at Nevermore.

Get a couple cars over there ASAP.

That’s just it, I can’t.

The tires on the squad cars have been slashed. Every damn one.

All right, I’m on my way.

[tires screech]

[siren wailing]

[sinister music continues]

[grunting]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[low, arcane rumble]

[crypt lock sizzling]

[Wednesday panting]

[Laurel grunts]

[chanting invocation in Latin]

[crypt clatters]

[arcane power pulsing]

[thunder booming]

[crackling]

[ominous choral music playing]

[choir crescendos]

[Laurel] I am of your blood.

I have summoned you to rid the world of outcasts once and for all.

[chilling music playing]

[Laurel gasps]

My vengeance will be swift and true.

As will mine.

[arcane power pulses]

Goody Addams.

You haunt me still.

You will suffer the same fate you bequeathed me.

Now burn in the eternal fires of hell.

[blade twists, flesh rends]

[grunts]

Where you belong.

[grunting weakly]

[Laurel] Sweet dreams, Wednesday!

I can’t believe you’re in a secret society and you didn’t tell me.

Because, you know,

it’s secret.

[Enid] Bianca, Davina…

and Kent?

Seriously, even Kent is here?

How exclusive is this club?

So, what’s the deal with Thornhill being a psycho?

She murdered Weems and then took Wednesday to Crackstone’s crypt.

We have to get everyone in the school to safety before it’s too late.

[Ajax] This is what’s coming.

[Kent] So do we pull the fire alarms?

We don’t want to cause a panic and alert Tyler or Thornhill.

So how do we get everyone out?

We’ll use our siren song to convince them.

Thing and I will go look for Wednesday.

Okay, Nightshades forever.

[all snap in unison]

Seriously, a secret snap too?

[ominous music playing]

[faint voice] Wednesday.

Are you here to take me to the other side?

Listen, Crackstone must be stabbed through his black heart.

It is the only way he will be vanquished now and forever.

Is your spectral vision impaired? I’m dying.

Your necklace.

It is a powerful talisman.

My mother told me it’s for conjuring visions.

It is also a conduit for conjuring spirits.

It will allow me to pass through you and heal you.

Just know, once I do, you will never see me again.

The school needs you, Wednesday.

[delicate, emotional music playing]

[rousing music rises]

[blade wrenches free]

[gasps]

[wispy, ethereal rushing]

[gasping]

[Xavier] Why’re we stopping in the middle of the woods?

You tracking your little monster?

You shut it.

Hey, wait. Wait!

Hey! What about me?

What… [grunts]

Oh, you asshole!

Come on, let’s move quickly and calmly, all right?

Good job! Let’s keep moving.

[teacher] Bianca!

What the hell’s going on?

Danger is on its way. [echoing] No time to delay.

[distorted audio echoes]

Follow me. Come on, faster.

[branch snaps]

[yelps]

[pained grunt]

[bones snapping, flesh stretching]

Oh my God.

Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

It’s happening!

Thing, I’m wolfing out!

[keening howl]

[Enid’s howl echoing]

Laurel said you were dead.

I’m feeling much better now.

You’re like a cockroach.

Please, flattery will get you nowhere.

This will not end well for you.

[clothing fraying]

[bestial snarl]

[roars]

[snarls]

[tense music builds]

[heroic music plays]

[snarls]

Enid?

[delicate music plays]

Enid!

I need to get back to the school.

I can’t tell you how I’ve longed for this moment,

what it means for my family.

[distorted] Silence, woman!

Be gone, or I will cut thy tongue from thy wretched mouth!

Never meet your heroes.

[students screaming, panicking]

I will expunge you abominations from this Earth!

[dark, overpowering music playing]

[Xavier kicking front seat]

[yells]

[urgent scrambling]

[Thing sliding squeakily]

Yes!

Yes!

Yes, Thing!

[distant roar]

[neck cracking, distending]

[gunshot]

Tyler.

Son, is that really you?

[sharp slicing]

[snarls]

[claws whir]

[labored huffing]

[mournful music playing]

[grunting, snarling]

[Enid panting heavily]

[ominous music playing]

[students clamoring, shouting]

[Wednesday] Howdy, pilgrim.

How canst thy heart still beat?

What demon sorcery is this?

Stay away from her!

No!

Oh my God!

I’m fine. Go. Get them out of here!

Now!

Okay!

Come on, guys. Let’s go! Go! Go!

[arcane magic pulses]

[malevolent cackling]

I will send you back to hell.

[hideous, gurgling wail]

[grunts]

[intense music playing]

[Crackstone’s flesh sizzling]

[blade twists wetly]

[death rattle]

[breathing shakily]

[gun cocks]

You brought a gun to a sword fight.

It’s probably the first smart decision you’ve made today.

I might not get to kill all the outcasts,

but at least I’ll get to kill you, Wednesday.

[bee buzzing]

[yelps]

[buzzing intensifies]

[bee stings piercing flesh]

[panicked yelping]

Yeah, that’s what you get for messing with Nevermore.

Bitch.

[Laurel whimpering]

Hummers stick together, right?

[Laurel panting, clamoring]

I’ll take it from here.

Maybe we should call the sheriff?

Turn around, Eugene.

[music builds]

[thud]

[low, somber music playing]

[Ajax] Enid?

[tender, wondrous music playing]

Where’s Wednesday?

[music intensifies]

[typewriter keys clacking]

[footsteps approaching]

I hate to admit,

but I am gonna miss Principal Weems.

She could be a real pain.

But she was tough.

And she died for the one thing she truly loved, this school.

For that, I have immense respect.

[Enid] She was one of us.

Now that classes are canceled for the semester,

you have to come visit me in San Francisco.

I can pretty much guarantee fog and drizzle every day.

Sounds tempting.

Bianca.

I owe you a thank-you.

We’re getting that fencing title next year.

So don’t let killing one supernatural pilgrim get to your head.

I hear you’re a free man now.

Yup. All charges dismissed.

Listen.

When I was in the cell I said a lot of… things.

Being your friend should come with a warning label.

But… I don’t know a lot of people who would take an arrow for me. So…

Welcome to the 21st century, Addams.

[gentle, quirky music playing]

My number’s in there already.

That’s a bold move.

I hope you’re not expecting me to call.

No, never.

I’d settle for a text, though.

You know what a text is, right?

Goodbye, Xavier.

Hey, are you going to be back next semester?

Yes? No? Maybe?

[grimly grandiose music playing]

[Wednesday] My very first stalker.

Maybe this forced vacation will be more interesting than I imagined.

Unlike my novel, not every thread has been tied up,

nor every question answered.

Secrets are still lurking in the dark corners of Jericho.

[siren blaring]

Were Laurel Gates and Tyler just pawns in a bigger game?

Will today’s stalker become tomorrow’s nemesis?

I know the suspense is killing you.

[jauntily macabre outro music playing]

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