This Is Us – S05E16 – The Adirondacks [Transcript]

The family gathers for Kevin and Madison's wedding.
This Is Us - S05E16 - The Adirondacks

Original air date: May 25, 2021

The Pearson family get ready for Kevin and Madison’s wedding. Deja finds out that Malik has been accepted to Harvard. Beth and Tess bond over accessorizing her dress. Toby gets a new job where he would need to travel to San Francisco for three days a week. Kate tries to quit her job, but her boss refuses. Madison realizes that Kevin does not love her and they break up. Flash-forward to five years in the future, Kate is getting married for a second time to her boss, Nicky is already married and Randall is seen as a Rising Star.

* * *


Wow. First of all, you look absolutely beautiful. There are so many things I want to say to you today. I guess I’ll just start with the most important one. [clears his throat]

[imitating Peter Cook in The Princess Bride]: Ma-wage. Ma-wage is what brings us together today.

[normal voice]: I… I can’t do that. Obviously. Could get a laugh though. [groans]

[as Peter Cook]: Ma-wage. Ma-wage is…

[normal voice]: It’s gonna kill. It’s gonna absolutely kill.

♪ ♪

Okay, Dynasty. Let’s kill some friggin’ wedding guests.

ANNOUNCER [on TV]: Next…

Sun will shine on the happy bride after all.

ANNOUNCER: On the season finale of Dynasty…

MAN: With this ring I thee wed.

ANNOUNCER: It’s the wedding of the century with the most explosive…

BASEBALL ANNOUNCER: And Holland total 1-2. A 1.71 earned run average with three saves.

I want Mommy to read to us.

Oh, Mommy’s taking a night for herself, bud. And for a reason that will forever escape me, she’s very excited about watching this thing…



You didn’t happen to tape the game the other night, did you?

Yeah, the Pirates game last… I couldn’t keep my eyes open.

Oh. And you, you didn’t happen to see the words. “Do not tape over” written in giant block letters on the label?

Uh… [sputters]

I’m home with triplets, Jack. There are three of them. Okay? Three of them. I had to wait an entire week to watch an episode of television that the entire country is talking about. One week of covering my ears and humming every time I entered the grocery store out of this irrational fear that I might accidentally learn who died at the wedding and ruin the ending of the only thing that is keeping me going right now.


What? Hi, guys. Hi.

Mommy and Daddy were having a really silly conversation about television… aah!

Yeah, silly.

But let’s, um let’s get you back to bed, okay? Let’s get you back to bed, sweetheart.

JACK: Yeah.

[exhales] Daddy’s in trouble. Come on, dude, come on.

WOMAN: Honey. There’s no other way to say this. I cannot stay with that man for another minute. So… Mummy is leaving, darling. I’ve really tried, but… Here. Maybe you’ll wear them on your wedding day and think of me. Maybe you’ll land a better man than I did. It’s a pretty low bar. Goodbye, Madison.

KEVIN: I’m so glad we chose Frankie Valli for the pre-ceremony music, although, I was thinking of the song order, and I’m not sure we got it right and… Oh, my God! I’m turning into Groomzilla, aren’t I? Oh, God. Madison? Hey.

Hi. Yeah. Yeah, you are. You were…


Reciting the dinner menu in your sleep last night.

Again? Oh, God, just…


I’m sorry, I want everything to be perfect, you know?


NICKY: Wait, wait!

Go back. Uh… just… say that again.


Yeah, I’m-I’m documenting everything for today.

You don’t have to do that. We actually hired

a videographer, so you can just,

you know, attend the ceremony.

Come on, go back, be cute.

Uh, all right, Pearson.

This is it.

For the last time, women in my family get varicose veins

early… knees and ankles.

We look like Thomas Guides by the time we’re 50.

So this is your last chance to make a run for it.

No, my feet are firmly planted right here on the ground.


Please, um, practice your vows.


No movie quotes.

Improv Kevin was not invited to the ceremony.

No, I’ll-I’ll let him know.

He’s gonna be absolutely devastated, but I’ll break the news. Just think, in a couple of hours you and I will be under an altar…

An altar that you designed because you’re an absolute boss.

MADISON: Hmm, I like it when you call me a boss.

It portends well for our future.

Well, now you got me nervous.

[Nicky laughs]

It’s perfect, perfect!

It’s great. Cut.

So, listen, will you be able to get a U-Haul there this afternoon?

My gift is being delivered to the wedding site and, uh, you’re never gonna be able to drive it home in a normal car.

Uh, Uncle Nicky, I’m gonna need you to go ahead and interact with me as little as humanly possible today, okay? Thanks.

You got it.

Okay, Jack and Hailey are both down for their nap.

We can finish packing and then we can transfer them to the car.

And then they’re gonna sleep all the way to the hotel.

Yeah, this is never gonna work, but as ever, I appreciate your optimism.

They’re gonna stay down.

Want to bet?


Yeah, what ya putting on the table?

Okay, I win, you do that head thing I love.

The scalp tickle?


For, like, 20 minutes.

High stakes. Fine.

Oh, this is great… I didn’t have a head tickle on my Toby bingo card today.

[Kate laughs]

You know what else I didn’t have on my card?


Getting a job.

[zips bag]


Yeah, they just sent the official offer letter though.

The start-up?




Oh, my… The world comes to Toby Damon.

That’s right.

That’s right.

They are gonna want me in San Francisco three days a week when the office re-opens, so…



Well, so…

I think we should seriously consider it.

We’re not gonna be able to survive much longer on your teaching assistant salary alone.

And I haven’t gotten a serious offer in a long time.

Okay, well, we’re getting by.

I mean, we’re not saving, but we’re not drowning.

I want to go back to work, Kate.

I need to… emotionally, mentally.

Staying at home is just…

All right, I love our children, but…

Okay, got it.



My husband is contemplating taking a job that will put him in a different city three days a week.

And he just used the sentence “I love our children, but.”

Just give me a second to digest it.


What are you guys doing up?




They’re just standing there.


Like Children of the Corn or something.

What’s wrong with the Big Three?

Do you still love each other?


[indistinct chatter, laughter]

BETH: Okay, let’s head to the hotel so the ladies can get ready together.

All right, we’ll see you there, but first, oh, I can’t stop hugging you.

Oh, God, it’s happening to me, too.

Must… hug grandchildren.

Guys, stop!

REBECCA: Uh, we’re not gonna stop.

I-I feel like I’m owed a year’s worth of hugs.


Hey, Dej, let’s hurry it up over there.

Oh! Hey, Malik.


Any news from Penn?

[chuckles] Uh, no, not yet.

Uh, you know, Malik applied to the four top schools in the Philly area.

And he got into three, because he’s a beast!


Hey, you know who else is a great student?


Yeah, Tess is dating her class valedictorian… Isn’t that right, babe?

Uh, they’re a very good student.


Batgirls… let’s, uh, get your stuff together to the Batmobile, come on.

Must hug more grandchildren.

Must… hug.

Is that creepy or charming?

Yeah, I can’t tell yet.


Here we go.

I can’t believe you guys are already leaving tomorrow.

I feel like we… haven’t had a chance to catch up.

I know, I know. Wedding weekends always fly by so fast.


I was hoping to hear more about your trip to New Orleans.


I told you about it.

No, you didn’t.

Not-not much anyway. Randall, we haven’t seen each other in ages and… I just want to know how it was for you.


Well, I-I’d really like to tell you about it.


[laughing]: Okay.

Okay, everyone, let’s go!

Let’s get Kevin married!

Need more hugs.

Yeah, uh, it’s-it’s way creepy now.

Holy crap!

You rented out this whole thing?

Yeah, well, you know, it’s easier that way with COVID.

Geez, how rich are you?

[laughs] Uh, okay.

I’ve got to go over the pre-ceremony music, I’ve got to double-check the playlist, and I then I want to head out to the garden just to make sure everything is perfect out there. Here’s comes everybody. Hey!


What’s up?

Look at this place!

Not bad, right?

Not bad at all, brother.

What’s going on?

Oh, you know, nothing.

How are you? You guys look beautiful.


How are you doing?

RANDALL: All right, Coach, come on, put me in the game.

What do you need.

No, nothing, nothing so far.

Everything is good, smooth.



‘Cause a week ago you were Jerry Maguire-ing out.

But, uh, you’re good?


No, I know my entire life has been an exercise in romantic self-destruction, but not today. Today I am good.

This is exactly where I want to be.

I just want to make sure everything’s perfect.

You know what I mean?


Well, I’m here for you, brother.

God knows I wouldn’t mind being pulled away right now.

Well, what does that mean?

Uh, nothing.

Mom wants to talk about my trip to New Orleans.

Aha. Well…

Yeah. Hey, you keep your eye on the ball, okay?

Text me if you need me.

Yo, Batgirls. To the Batcave.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

I have dresses for the bridesmaids.


[gasps] How pretty.

Oh, that’s nice.

You good?

Yeah, I’m fine.

All right, come on. See you later, man.

All right.


We have a small problem.

So, the altar collapsed an hour ago.

The crossbeam is completely shattered.

But we have a plan.

We are going to rearrange the furniture,

And instead of the altar, you can get married under the statement tree.

Now, we discussed that option earlier.

We did.

And then we came back to the altar.

Remember, Madison designed the whole thing?

Traditional rustic, her favorite flowers?

I know. And I’ll talk to her.

Okay? The only thing you need to do is relax.

KEVIN: Vanessa, listen.

Madison and I haven’t exactly had the most romantic beginning to this marriage, but so help me, today today will be one for the ages.

So I will relax when everything’s exactly the way she wanted it, not a moment sooner.

Do you… do you have to do that right now, though?

Yeah. I mean, you’re gonna want this.

That speech was great.

VANESSA: Absolutely.

Women getting all gussied up.

Randy P. Feeling fine.

What’s he gonna do with his free time?

Cooking up a batch of…


Um, the hair and makeup people don’t come for an hour.

Maybe now is a good time to grab a coffee and catch up?

Yes, ma’am.

Guess Randy P. Is doing that.

Yes. So, um, this is Hai.

He’s the one who contacted me.

And this here… that’s, uh, Laurel.

That’s my birth mother.



Uh, yeah, I…

You have her eyes.



I thought so, too, but I wasn’t sure.

Everyone always says Annie and I have the same eyes, so I guess that, um… I guess that tracks.

Oh, man, have I told you what Annie’s gotten into?



She’s a strangely good bowler.

The other day she bowled a 214.

I literally had to goggle “bowling scholarships.”



Randall. Best man emergency.

Duty calls.

Go, go, go.

I need you to rally the troops, all right?

Find the biggest SUV you can find and head to Home Depot.

Okay, um what are we?

KEVIN: The altar, the whole thing, it’s just…

Okay, guys, uh, we know you heard us having a, uh… conversation in loud voices.

Because Daddy messed up.

[Jack chuckles]

But, uh, we want to show you something.


REBECCA: This is Mommy and Daddy on their wedding day.

And that is Daddy telling Mommy how much he loves her.

[no audio on film]

He was very charming that day, your father.

[Jack and Rebecca chuckle]

Go ahead and tell them what you were saying, babe.

Oh, see, this was the start of my vows, and…

And, you know, I was… I was-I was saying…

Wait. You…

You seriously don’t remember your wedding vows?

Oh, come on, do you remember yours?

Yes, I do, in fact, because it was one of the most important days of my life, Jack.

But it’s okay, because you will probably just tape over this with some ball game.

Come on, are you still mad about that stupid show?

Stupid show?

Yeah, stupid show.

They had a terrorist massacre at a wedding?


That ain’t high art, Bec.

Plus, my secretary said they only killed Luke and Lady Ash, not even any of the main characters.

Lady Ashley?!

Did you seriously just ruin the show for me?

The show ruined itself a long time ago.


Joan can do better.



Hey, hey!

[Rebecca forces a laugh]

Guys, we are genuinely, madly in love.

Oh, married couples hate us.

Hate us.

It’s why we have no friends.

JACK: Yeah, none.

You guys need to get married again.


TED: Almost forgot.

You said you needed this for an outfit or something?

A dress.

For the eighth grade dance.

But I don’t need it anymore. The boy asked someone else.

Oh. Well, I’m sure someone else will go with you.

Don’t be choosey, hon.

Doesn’t have to be the prom king.

Doesn’t have to be magical sparks.

Just find someone willing to go with you.

KATE: Are you okay?

Sorry, I was just thinking about my vows.

Ugh, I get so nervous when I speak in public I start sounding like Alvin.


From the Chipmunks?

Alvin and Simon and…


Who is that other Chipmunk?

Um… I don’t know.

That poor third Chipmunk.

I know.

Madison it’s not about the words, you know, or the delivery.

When you love someone enough to make this kind of commitment, I mean, it’s bigger than that.

You know, when you look into each other’s eyes, and-and you say that you care more about what they need than what you need for the rest of your life…


Thank you.

For what?

A reminder.

I’m just gonna make a quick phone call.

I’ll be right back.

♪ We are the Chipmunks ♪

♪ Alvin, Simon. ♪

BOTH: Theodore!


Poor little Theodore.

I love you, sister-in-law.

I love you, too.

[door shuts]

Hey, Dej.

Do you think you’re ever gonna marry Malik?

Annie, are you crazy?

I’m not even thinking about that nonsense.

I’m not even thinking that, you know, we’ll get married one day in his future.

Michelin star restaurant.

I’m not thinking about that.


Oh, Tess, you look incredible.


Tess, I know I’ve been doing everything wrong with you lately, and I should tiptoe right now, but these slippers aren’t built to tiptoe, so… what’s up?

It feels like everyone wants a version of me that isn’t… me.

I’m not comfortable in this dress.

But I don’t want to disappoint Uncle Kevin or you and…

Hey, stop.

You cannot disappoint me.

I need you to understand that.

You could wear shorts to this wedding, okay?

You could root for the Dallas Cowboys.

You could murder somebody.

I’d be surprised.

I’d probably ask a couple questions, but I’d assume you had your reasons.

All right, look. This dress isn’t you, huh?

Well, let’s… let’s make it you.

[Jack, Rebecca chuckling]

Thank you, thank you.

Daddy, do you promise to love Mommy forever?

Not only do I promise to love Mommy forever, I promise to love this whole family forever.

Hey, come here. Hands in. Come on.

Come on.

Will you guys marry me forever?

Do you promise to never refer to the best show in the history of television as “stupid” ever again?

The best show on…


I do.

Well, then, I do, too.


KIDS: I do!

JACK and REBECCA: You do?


[line ringing]

PHILIP: Hello?

Hi, it’s Kate.

Oh, hey.

I’m calling because I need to resign.

I’m sorry?

It’s just that, um…

Toby got a job offer, and we both can’t work full time, you know, with the kids, so…


You know, I didn’t want to hire you.

I got stuck with you.

An inexperienced aide with no qualifications or skill sets…

I know.

Not finished.

No qualifications, no skill sets.

I… Okay.

And yet you ended up being great.

I mean, the students love you.

You’re talented, you’re useful, and on rare occasions your jokes are funny.

So, no, I do not accept your resignation.

Um, Philip, I… I’m hanging up now.

Resignation rejected.

Miguel, you sure this thing’s gonna hold up?

I mean, I love America’s Funniest Home Videos, just like the next guy; I don’t want my wedding on it.

I promise you, Kevin, I’m gonna get this thing standing, and Toby’s working on that flower arrangement to cover anything that’s not perfect.

[southern drawl]: Why, you’re no daisy.

You’re no daisy at all.

It’s Tombstone. Is this thing on?


RANDALL [exhales]: All right, here we go, Kev.

This… Yeah.

What are we doing?

You’re standing in the full sun, man. I’m not gonna have the groom looking all Tickle Me Elmo in his wedding photos.

Miguel, you sure those grooves are matched up, man?


Yes. Yes.

[quietly]: They are?

I don’t know.

I’ve paid people for the last 20 years to do things like this for me.

KEVIN: Oh, God.

Hey, Kev, the Avengers have assembled.

We got this.

Why don’t you go inside and get your face on…

Guys, guys, guys.

What do y… whoa.

KEVIN: You got that playlist? The one that started with Frankie Valli?

Yep, got it right here.

You mind if I take a look at it, just to make sure that you’ve got the right order?

Kev. Kev.

One second.



We got this, man.

All right? Everything is perfect.

Are you okay?

Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay, I’m okay.

Are you okay?


‘Cause I saw you were sitting with Mom earlier when I came to get you. What happened?

She started openly crying after the second photo and I bailed.

No… That’s not what…

It’s-it’s not worth it.

BETH: Hey, Kev.

Hey. Randall, don’t look at me.

What are you…?

Turn around… or is that for the bride?

I don’t…

Okay, it doesn’t matter.

Hey, I’m gonna make a few changes to Tess’s dress.

Do you think that Madison’s gonna have a coronary?

I don’t know, I mean, there’s no… how do I…

Okay, great.

Perfect. Thank you. Don’t even worry about it, all right?

Getting a little sunburned, bro. Bye.

Sorr… Listen, like, you should be able to talk to Mom without feeling like she’s gonna break down every time you bring up…


It’s the wrong-sized screw.

I literally ran a multimillion dollar construction company.

When we redo the Nomadland trailer, I’ll call you, Nicky.


I don’t even understand that reference, so bite me.


KEVIN: Okay, let’s… Hey, guys!

Can we focus? Miguel, will you please be nice to my uncle?

Uncle Nicky, Nomadlandis-is a movie that you would probably make fun of.

How are the flowers coming?

Blooming and marvelous.

Um, hey, you’ve navigated a long-distance relationship.

How did you manage that?

KEVIN: Not well, Toby.

I got divorced and then I almost missed the birth of my children.


Wait, why do you ask?

No reason. I mean, no reason we’re gonna talk about on your wedding day.

Wait, no, what…

MAN: There a Kevin Pearson here?

Ah! Okay, that’s my gift.

Uh, all right, well, this is how I always imagined a-a marriage would be, would be two people sitting in comfortable silence next to each other, in Adirondack chairs.

I-I had your, uh, initials engraved in them.

Hey, oh, listen, Kev, you got enough, uh, you got any cash to tip these guys?

I need air. I need… I need air.

You’re outside.

I need inside air.

KEVIN: Randall, get away from me, please.

RANDALL: Yeah, no problem.


TOBY: Hey.

Okay, so I have decided not to take the job.

It turns out that I like all of you far too much to be away from you three days a week, so…

No, no. Babe, you are so excited about that job.

You can’t turn it down.

Okay, uh…

And I’m not going to quit my job, either.

I’m really good at it, Tobe.

And it’s the job that I’ve been waiting for my entire life.

Uh, so…

Yeah, okay, ok…

Okay, so how can we possibly make this work?

I was thinking about our wedding vows today.

♪ ♪

To be honest, I don’t remember a single thing that you said.

I stood there the whole time just thinking, “Would someone, please, just ask me if I will marry him so I can just say yes as quickly as humanly possible?”


You know, it’s four years and two kids ago.


And I’d rather spend four days a week with you than eight days a week with anyone else.

That’s not how weeks work.

Well, I know. I know.


But we can do this.

Are you with me?

I’m your huckleberry.


God, I love you.

I think that you just love that I know random movie quotes.

No, Kate.

It is quite a lot more than that.

♪ Time to time she puts her hand in mine… ♪


♪ Holds me like a sharp, shiny key… ♪


♪ I was never one… ♪

What do you think?

I love it. Yeah.


[laughs softly] Wow.

[exhales] I haven’t been nice to you.

This whole year.

It’s been a big year for you.

You’re in your first relationship, and I haven’t been getting it all right.

You’ve gotten a lot right.

I love you, Mom.

And I’m sorry if I forget to say it for the next ten years.

Well, I guess this one time will have to be enough.

[laughs softly]

♪ With only sky… ♪

[FaceTime ringing]

Let me give you a minute.

♪ Have to die… ♪


Well, guess who went four for four.

For real?

Penn? You’re lying.

[chuckles] Uh, yeah, actually.

I kind of am.

I went five for five.

Don’t tell anybody this, but I applied to Harvard.

I got into Harvard, too, Dej.

[laughs]: I got into Harvard.


In Boston.

Uh, yeah.

[stapler clicks]

REBECCA: I’ve never really given you an explanation, have I?

All this time…

I never really explained why I did what I did.

And how I kept it from you.

I guess because there is no viable explanation.

Mom, we don’t have…

No, no, no, no.

I-I’ve let you let me off the hook far too many times.

Do you remember when you were a little boy, and we had the, um, the family wedding in the living room?


Maybe more from the pictures.


I remember you looking at us, more than a few times.

And I wondered if you were thinking about them.

Your parents.

And still, I didn’t go there.

And I avoided it.

I… I rationalized that I took you home when I was still grieving, I… they were addicts.

But I never… I never gave you the forum to talk about it.

Not as a little boy, not as a teenager.

Not now as a grown man.

And I knew things.

And I hid them.

And I’m… I’m very ashamed.

I know it is way too late to say this, but I need to say it to you very clearly.

I am so sorry.

You are my entire world, and what I did to you…

You didn’t do…

You can tell me how I’ve hurt you.

And if that doesn’t come easy, you can tell me about your journey.

And if I cry, it’s ’cause I know what I robbed from my favorite person, it’s not because I’m jealous or hurt, okay?

[quietly]: Okay.

So tell me about her.

Tell me about your mother.

[Randall sniffles]

She’s my birth mother.

[sniffles, exhales]

She was a pretty incredible woman.



She was a force of nature, one of those people that does everything at 100, you know?

And as I heard some of the details, it unlocked a part of me that I didn’t even know existed.


[knocking on door]


They wanted to get portraits of you before you got all wed-head and stuff.

Is now a good time?

DAVID: Uh, is this a good time?

Look, um…

There’s no easy way to say this.

I think our relationship has gone as far as it’s gonna go, Madison.

Okay, no, no, no, David.

Come on, we’re-we’re just going through a little rough patch…

I-I don’t feel about you the way you feel about me.

Okay. Hang on, um…

Madison, and I say this as a friend.

I don’t know why there’d be anything more to say after what I just said.



Look, I know I don’t have the same issues as everyone here, I recognize that.

But you guys don’t know what it’s like looking like me and carrying around that extra seven pounds in your midsection.

VANESSA: Madison?

Excuse me.

Oh, God, I do need to put my face on.

[knocking on door]



[quietly]: Hi.

Am I supposed to be seeing you?

I don’t think I’m supposed to be seeing you.

You-you look incredible, but I don’t think I’m supposed to be seeing you.

I know. I’m sorry. Um…

You’re not dressed, by the way.

No, I know. It’s a long story.

I’ll tell you later.

[laughs softly]

Are you in love with me?

Madison, uh… [chuckles]

We’re getting married in, like, two hours.

We’re-we’re gonna become a family.

A family.

Yeah, we, um, we use that language a lot.

“We have fallen in love with this family.”

“The four of us are the only thing that matters.”

I’m not sure what-what you’re…

I have fallen in love with you, Kevin.

It’s no surprise.

You are very easy to fall in love with.

But, um…

Sorry. I, uh, I know this timing is terrible and, um, borderline cliché, but, uh…


My mother gave me these.

And then she left.

She left me with a father who gave me nothing.

Who literally told me not to expect life to have magical sparks.

I have stumbled through a life gratefully accepting whatever scraps of affection anyone would give me.

And you are so wonderful.


Your… Your family has given me the first family I have ever had.

And it would be so easy for me to tiptoe around the fact that you may not be in love with me.


I think we can take a breath here, okay?


I love what we have.

I love what we’re building.

I-I think you are incredible.

[laughs softly]

And I love watching you with our children, and-and…

The time I spend with you, I-I feel good and full and-and happy and…

Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, come on.

You have been running around all week trying to make today perfect.

Don’t you see…

We didn’t come together under normal circumstances.

I know that. I know that you know that.

But what we… This-this, what we have it will grow.

It can grow. It will.


I can’t marry someone who’s not in love with me.

I know it’s ironic, but I think you have finally helped me realize that I am worthy of that.

Are you nerv… are… Maybe this is you and you’re nervous, you’re getting the jitters.

No, no, no.

No, this is a normal thing. This is what people go through.

No. Kevin.

I am begging you right… don’t do this, okay?

We can still do this I want to be with you, Madison.

All together. We can raise a family together.

I want to be with you and our children.

I will commit to that with you, okay? But we…

The children that we created together in-in a house together…

We cannot get married this way, Kevin.

As a family.

That cannot be us.

You know it.

Please don’t do this.

Kevin, you know it.

[grunts softly]

So, how was your day?

Oh, you know.

Couldn’t say it to her.

Not like that.

I couldn’t lie to her.

KATE: Hey.

How is she?

Yeah, she’s with the babies. Hanging in.

She’s worried about you.

How you doing, brother?


I’m numb, I think.

I wonder what he would do right now.

It’s getting harder for me, lately, to add your father to our family situations.

It used to come so easily, but so much has changed.

Uh, grandchildren and marriages and…

And I don’t know if it’s this disease, but it’s, it’s like my brain won’t allow me to actually add him to scenes sometimes, you know?


He wouldn’t leave Kevin’s side tonight.

Yeah. That is for sure.

And he’d be worried that you would drink.

I won’t.

You need to stay busy, ’cause you’re… you’re best when you’re busy.

Yes. I will.


I actually have a project for you.

I don’t know how many good years I have left.

I just know that I want to spend as much time with you guys as possible.

And I found, um, a different kind of peace at the cabin this year.


Build me that house.

The house he was gonna build for me.

♪ Tell me, do we get ♪

♪ What we deserve? ♪


♪ What we deserve… ♪

What a year, huh?


It’ll get better.

It’s always darkest before the dawn, but we hang our tragedies on fence posts and we fight on.

What do we do?

I don’t know. It sounds better when Beth says it.

[soft laughter]

REBECCA: You’re gonna be fine, honey.

And the state would probably look down on it, but for the record, I would marry you.


I would marry all of you.

♪ Whoa, we get… ♪

RANDALL: Thanks, Ma.

♪ And way down we go ♪

♪ Go, go, go, go ♪

♪ Oh, way down we go ♪

♪ Go, go, go, go ♪

♪ Say way down we go… ♪

Everything’s gonna be all right.

♪ Whoa, you let… ♪

[imitating Peter Cook in The Princess Bride]: Ma-wage.

Ma-wage is what brings us together today.

[normal voice]: Yep. That’s the one.

People are going to love it.


♪ But for the fall, ooh, my ♪

♪ Do you dare to look him right in the eye?

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Oh, ’cause they will run you down ♪

♪ Down till the dark… ♪

I know, I know, I’m getting dressed,

But the wife wanted stockings.

What the hell am I supposed to do?

I’ve got him, it’s all good. Let’s move Nicky, move.

Loved the article, by the way. Hated the picture.

Oh, you know I look good, brother.

♪ Down till you go, yeah… ♪

Coming in, coming in. I don’t know the rules, but I got to get something cleared for the toast.

MADISON: No. Get out.


No, I told you 12 times this morning, no boys allowed in here.

Boys? I’m a 45-year-old grown man, thank you kindly. I have a question.

Hey, you got something on your tie. Get out.

No. Oh!

Get out.

Come on, hey, I just need to know if movie quotes or impressions are allowed.

That’s all.

KATE: Yes.

Yes. This is the last time I’m doing this, so go crazy, brother.

You look beautiful.

Okay. Get out.

Thank you.


Yeah, bye-bye.

KEVIN: All right, come on. Geez.

Kill a guy for trying to deliver a perfect wedding speech.

Hey, listen, uh, you’re okay if I do some British jokes at your expense, right?

Hey, if you can’t take the piss out of your future brother-in-law, who can you take the piss out of, all right?

This is gonna be good.


Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Read More

Weekly Magazine

Get the best articles once a week directly to your inbox!