The Gentlemen – S01E02 – Tackle Tommy Woo Woo | Transcript

The toffs and their gamekeeper hunt a new kind of prey. Susie enlists some help to clean up the mess, and Halstead Manor is blessed with a holy visitor.

The toffs and their gamekeeper hunt a new kind of prey. Susie enlists some help to clean up the mess, and Halstead Manor is blessed with a holy visitor.

* * *

[somber music plays]

♪ Make sure you kop that shit ♪

♪ Scouse Matic 2 ♪

♪ I’m a beast when I jump on these beats ♪

♪ I spit flames, I’m hot, 100 degrees… ♪

[Tommy] Oi, soft lad!

♪…like 100mph, Thomas in the hot… ♪

[Tommy] Do you mind if he sets up on the desk?

[Eddie] Yeah, of course. Take a seat.

♪ You know how many people Listen to my shit? ♪

♪ No, you don’t ‘Cause I don’t even know ♪

♪ I just know it’s fucking loads Every city that I go ♪

♪ They be whipping out their phones Wanting pictures ♪

♪ I came up from nothing Make sure you got that shit ♪

♪ Make sure you got it ♪

♪ Make sure you got that shit ♪

♪ And if you ain’t got that shit Then kop that shit ♪

♪ But don’t be a little bum And go and rob that shit, you get me? ♪

[music continues in headphones]

Do you have any idea how bad this is?

I think I have some idea, yeah.

[Susie] I can help get rid of the body.

If that’s something you wanted me to do.

What about him?


Mr. OCD counting the money.

I can help you deal with him too.

We’re not gonna kill him.

You got any better ideas?

[Jethro] Four million to the dollar!


[clears throat]


Say nothing.

He had it coming.

[Freddy exhales]

[tense music plays]

[Eddie] Come here!


[tense music continues]

[music ends]

♪ I’m spliff smoking Thinking ’bout another lyric ♪

♪ Might drop another mixtape It’s been a little minute ♪

♪ That’s aight though ‘Cause every time I drop shit, I kill it ♪

♪ Kinda like a .50 cal slug ♪

♪ Only really used to smoke on the Ched ♪

♪ But now it’s strictly ‘Dam buds ♪

♪ If it’s not Haze, then it’s Kush ♪

♪ I be on me light up everywhere shit With dank nugs ♪

♪ Scouse man smoking… ♪

[Eddie] Jethro!

♪ Getting me… ♪

Stop fucking running!

♪ Make sure you got that shit ♪

♪ And if you ain’t got that shit Then kop that shit ♪

♪ But don’t be a little bum And go and rob that shit, you get me? ♪

♪ Just go and kop that shit You get me? ♪

♪ Just go and kop that shit ♪

♪ But don’t be a little bum And go and rob that shit… ♪

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

[breathes heavily]

You all right, Geoff?

What are we hunting, Your Grace?

[Eddie] Blue tracksuit.

[vehicle approaching]

[Eddie] Freddy, take the north route.

I’m gonna go east. You know where you’re going?

I know where I’m going.

♪ New destination for a shipment Me and my team, we move different ♪

♪ New music coming Some for the club, some for the whip ♪

♪ Either which way Make sure you kop that shit ♪

♪ You get me? ♪

♪ Make sure you got that shit ♪

♪ Make sure you got it ♪

♪ Make sure you got that shit ♪

♪ But don’t be a little bum And go and rob that shit ♪

♪ You get me? ♪


[Jethro yells]

There’s no fucking signal!

[song resumes]


♪ Make sure you got that shit… ♪

[Eddie] Stop fucking running, Jethro!

♪ Got that shit, and if you ain’t Got that shit, then kop that shit ♪

♪ But don’t be a little bum And go and rob that shit, you get me? ♪

♪ Just go and kop that shit You get me? ♪

[music stops]

Take a breather, son.

[Eddie grunts]

[Eddie grunts]


I won’t say nothing, all right?

I didn’t see anything. Okay?

Please don’t hurt me.

We’re not gonna hurt you.

We are gonna sort this out.

Sort it out, lad? You just fucking killed Tommy!

I promise you, we will not hurt you.

[Freddy] Right.

Let’s finish this.

Put the gun down.

No witnesses, brother.

What the fuck is wrong with you? Give me that.

Put the phone down.

I said put the phone down, Jethro.

Freddy, don’t…

Comms nixed.

Well done.

Now you can tell me

who he was just contacting.

Let ’em come, Eddie.

Let ’em fucking come.

[Eddie] Come here.

[cell phone buzzes]

What the fuck does that mean?

[man] We can all feel your pain, Johnny.

We know why you’re here.

You’ve abandoned yourself to the… wilderness of physical sensation.

It’s not about the car.

It’s not about the kettle on your wrist.

It’s not about the five grams of chop

or whatever it is he gets up to on a Friday night. [chuckles]

You know that land is barren.

That’s why you’re here.

That’s why we’re all here.

We can offer you… love…

and fraternity.

Whereas the world out there

can offer you nothing

except a coffin full of hollow bones.

So close your eyes

and open your heart

to God.

[door opens]

[door closes]

Okay, let’s all take a moment to cogitate.


Take over.

[somber orchestral music plays]

Sorry, John, but we can’t get hold of our Tommy.

He’s not answering his phone.


He was supposed to be picking up that money. He’s disappeared.

Probably up to no good somewhere.

Normally I wouldn’t worry,

but I’ve just got a text off Jethro, who he was with.

What did it say?

It was… ambiguous.

What do you mean, “It was ambiguous”?

Not clear. Open to interpretation.

I know what ambiguous means, Errol. What did the text say?

[somber orchestral music continues]

Shove him in. We’ll put him somewhere safe till we get things straightened out.

How big’s your freezer?

Not big enough.

[Susie] Is there a lock on the study?


Draw the shutters, lock the doors, don’t let anyone in or out.

How many people are in the house?

Just my mum and about 20 staff.

You, tell the staff they’ve got the rest of the day off,

then sit tight and do nothing.

Twenty staff, rest of the day off, I got that. Logged.

Edward, you control him.

Yeah. Leave it with me.

Come on, then.

You. Car. Now.

All right, come on, sit down.

Speak to the staff. Don’t talk to anyone else.

Yeah. No, I’m fucking golden. It’s all good.

It’s just, uh…

[exhales] It’s a lot to take in, isn’t it?

I just feel like everything’s suddenly in 3D.

Everything is in 3D.

I just mean it feels different now for some reason.

Yeah, Freddy, it is different.

Because now you’re a murderer.

Do you literally want me just to stand here and look at him?

Can I do my job and that? Can I go toilet?

I want you to engage your brain, Jimmy.

Fucking hell.

I don’t know if I can do that, boss. I need clear, specific instructions.

You’ll be all right, love. It’s only for a couple of hours.

Just don’t let him use the phone. He’s our prisoner, and he’s in trouble.

Don’t let him talk his way out of it.

All right, cool, boss.

No problem.

Do you smoke bud?

Why? Have you got any?

We need to figure out a way through this without someone else getting murdered.

Look, the last thing any of us want is another dead body.

Killing’s messy. It’s bad for business.

But you need to understand what we’re dealing with here.

Tommy Dixon was fairly low down on the food chain.

But his brother, the Gospel, however, he’s a bit juicier.

And a fuckload madder.

Now, he is dangerous.

And he knows some very powerful people.

Like who?

Jesus. And his dad.

Who have helped make him one of the biggest cocaine dealers in the North West.

Jesus and his dad.

Naughty combo.

[the Gospel] “Put not your trust in princes,

or in the children of men, in whom there is no salvation.”

“His spirit shall go forth and he shall return into his earth.”

“In that day, all their thoughts shall perish!”

“I am the way, the truth and the life,

and no one comes to the father

except through me!”

Retribution in manifest. Retribution in manifest.


[the Gospel] Retribution in manifest.

I’d sit this one out if I was you. Leave it to the professionals.


[line ringing]

[cell phone buzzes]

[Susie] Morning.


Felix, are you all right?

[Felix] Oh, I’m very well, thank you.

I was just…

[playful music]

…getting, uh, out of bed, actually.

Uh, listen, I’ve got a bit of work for you. Are you free today?


Just let me check my schedule.

It’s your lucky day.

But I’ll need a driver.

No problemo.

Uh, the… I want the list one more time.

[Blanket] Lime.

Hydrofluoric acid.

What’s this?

Bone saw.


Reciprocating saw.

Recip… ressing saw.

[Blanket] Plastic bags.

St… bags.

[Keith] And hazmats.


[man] Hazmats.

And the hazmats…

Let’s go.

And we need cof… fee.


How did you get into this game?

I was in the choir in church.

I like music and numbers.

That’s what music is, you know.

It’s just numbers moving round in concert.

Anyway, they offered me the job, doing the accounts.

I didn’t know they were an international crime family with Jesus running the show.

Tommy Dixon didn’t strike me as a particularly religious type.

That’s where you’re wrong.

This particular brand of Jesus is more lethal than mustard gas.

These brothers are fucking lunatics.

Only one thing they like more than loving, and that’s killing.

Tommy deserved what happened to him. I’m glad he’s dead.

And I won’t say nothing. I won’t breathe a word, I swear to Jesus.

The other Jesus.

The nice Jesus.

Well, I might believe you, Jethro, but I’m not the only one you need to convince.

They’re gonna kill me, aren’t they?

Not necessarily.

[man] Up and at ’em, Felix.

[Susie] Felix. Buongiorno.

You’re looking strong.



Blanket, open up the back and take out the mat, please.

[Blanket] In process.

It’s cold.

Right. Are we in a contained situation?

Currently. Mother’s asleep upstairs. Staff given the rest of the day off.


one body, one witness, yes?


Meat, potatoes. Witness secure?

We’ll start with the meat, then.

The fuck are you two waiting for? If you’re coming in, that’s coming off.

[Felix] Right, one cadaver with severe head trauma.

Is that the gun that was used?

It is indeed.

Is that a Gainsborough?

Ooh, that’s fabulous.

We’ll tidy that up later.

I’m thinking we do a jig and dig job.

So we, uh, quarter the body,

find a

serene but secluded spot,

bury it deep,

frost it with lime,

pack it with earth, and… and decorate it with some compost.

I do have a question.

Go ahead.

Why are you chopping it up into little pieces?

First of all, you dig a smaller hole.

Plus, with the internal organs exposed, you speed up the rate of decomposition.

And the worms love it.

You see, in my craft,

you have to have a… a holistic approach.

Keith, you start by washing the blood off the walls.

Blanket, take the gun, put it in the boot of the car.

Drive it around the back of the estate so it’s out of sight.

I’ll dismember the body outside.

So you’re doing the operation?

Oh, yes, yes. I provide a full service.

Including the removal of witnesses.

[Susie] Hmm.

Now, any other questions?



[Felix] Then please, Susan, introduce me to the host.

Eddie, this is Felix.

He’s got plenty of experience in these kind of situations.

He’s come to offer his expertise.


Felix. Thanks for coming so quickly.

Yeah, sure, it’s a time-sensitive matter.

I appreciate the knowledge and expertise you’re bringing to the table,

but we need to talk about Jethro.

Uh, Jethro is the witness? Yes?


I’m thinking we can use him to create an alternative narrative for the Gospel.

What if I was to suggest

that things weren’t good between Tommy and Jethro?

That they were fighting when the money was being counted.

We film the performance on Tommy’s phone, stick it in his pocket.

Then we stage the body in the boot of the car.

The Gospel thinks Jethro killed Tommy and left with the money.

Uh, sorry, and… and where is, uh, Jethro while all this is happening?

On a container ship to Australia. With £2 million in his pocket.

Well, wouldn’t it be easier if we just shipped him off to Lapland?

He could hang out with Father Christmas, hide out with the elves,

and retrain as a toy maker.

He’s a good kid who’s made some bad decisions.

Wouldn’t be doing what he was if he had another option.

What do you think, Felix?

I think you should chop his fucking head off.


I know what your father would do.

He, too, would… chop his fucking head off.

Thankfully, he’s in prison, so we won’t be chopping his fucking head off.

Excellent. Now we’ve clarified that,

you keep hold of Jethro while I go and speak to the Gospel.

Clean the house, but don’t get rid of the body.

Is that okay?

Mind if we have a minute?

No, please do.

Let’s go for a chat.


[Susie] You seem to be getting confused about why we’re here.

I didn’t create this problem. I’m trying to help you deal with it.

Don’t want my assistance? I can tell Felix to put the tools back in the van.

No, no, no. I apologize.

I didn’t mean to seem ungrateful.

I just need a bit of time to… see if I can work this out.

You said so yourself, murder’s bad for business.

Twenty-four hours, or I’ll have to get the hoover out.


[door opens]

[tense orchestral music plays]

I don’t wanna do it, Eddie. I don’t wanna do it.

I didn’t want to do it before, and I don’t now.

I’m not… I’m not dancing, okay? I’m not fucking dancing.

You did a very bad thing, Freddy.

You killed a man.

And you cannot fucking undo that,

but there is a slim chance that if you do exactly as I say…

you might just get away with it.

You will dance.

[door slams]


[soaring operatic music plays]

[Stevens] Mr. J, sir.

[soaring operatic music continues]

[sniffs deeply]


You’re using the Waterman Serenity ink, right? Blue, not black?


Make sure you use blotting paper.

I’d like to add an extra name to the guest list.

Please extend an invitation to the new Duke of Halstead,

see if he bites.

[soaring operatic music continues]

[man] There we go, sir.

♪ I’m a posh twat who fucked up ♪

♪ Ee-i-ee-i-o ♪

It’s the best one so far.

Best of a bad bunch.

Freddy, one more…

[Sabrina] Oh, hello.

Oh, darling.

Hello, Mother. We’re just finishing something up. Can we help you?

Yes, this has just been hand-delivered.


[Sabrina] It’s an invitation from a Mr. Johnston.

Is that Johnston with a ‘T’?

Yes, is he a friend of yours?

We haven’t been formally acquainted yet.

Then that’s unfortunate that this invite isn’t addressed to you.

[Susie chuckles wryly]

Um, would your friends like some tea? Yes?

I’d ask the staff, but they seem to have disappeared.

Tea would be lovely, yes.

Let me take care of that, Your Ladyship.

[Sabrina] Thank you, Geoff.

I think it’s time I was introduced to this Stanley Johnston.

I thought my business with him had been concluded.

[Susie] Hmm.

[Felix slurps]

Lapsang souchong.

Dodger, Your Grace?

Oh, um, thank you, Geoffrey. That’s very kind.

Frederick, why are you dressed as a chicken?

Well, quite, yeah, yeah.

No, well, see, the chicken is more of, um…

The thing with the chicken is, um… What would you say, Eddie?

Charity organization.

Charity. Charity organization.

Mm. Which one?

It’s a charity that draws attention

to the appalling conditions in battery farms.


Well, that’s very altruistic of you, Freddy.

I didn’t know you were so deeply invested in animal welfare.

Well, one does what one can, doesn’t one, for one’s, uh, chickens?

I’m a bit confused, Ms. Glass,

because, uh, what exactly is it that you do do?

It’s just my husband, he told me it was something to do with antiques.

And now you seem committed to the selfless pursuit of animal welfare.

So which is it?

Antiques or chickens?

Personally, I have no interest in the circumstances

pertaining to the privations of commercial poultry.

But His Grace is blessed with a more compassionate heart than my own.

Since I’ve been helping him with his business interests,

I thought I’d lend a hand.

Cheers to that.

[cell phone buzzes]

[cheery ringtone plays]

Three times. He’s called three fucking times, Eddie.

Do you think… Do you think he wants to speak to me?

I imagine so, Freddy, yeah.

Look, if this is gonna work,

you have to act like absolutely nothing is wrong.

Okay, I don’t wanna be a dick about this, I really don’t,

but the bottom line here is… You need to answer that.

[cell phone buzzes]

Uh, hello, Freddy’s phone.

[the Gospel] Is Freddy there? I need a word.

He’s at dinner, unfortunately. Can I take a message?

My name’s John Dixon. Who am I speaking to, please?

Uh, you’re speaking to Edward, his brother.

Oh, right.

Well, that’s a coincidence

’cause I’m ringing about my brother, Tommy Dixon.

Maybe you’ve heard of him?

Yes, he was here this morning, actually.

[the Gospel] Oh, right.

Well, that’s good to know.

You see, he hasn’t come home,

so I’m trying to ascertain his whereabouts.

Well, he left here this morning at about 11:00 a.m.

You were there, were ya?

[Eddie] I was, yes.

That would make you the last person to have seen him.

Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, Mr. Dixon. Uh, is there anything we can do to help?

Would it be all right if I drop by tomorrow,

say, twelve o’clock, just so we can talk things through?

If you think that would help, of course.

[the Gospel] I do, yeah.

All right, take care of yourself until then.


I smell trouble.

Tomorrow at noon? Nice one.

[foreboding operatic music plays]

Freddy, why are there two cars?

They’ve brought an entire football team.

Yeah, they don’t travel light.

Don’t be intimidated by the look of my lads.

They’re good lads. Nice lads. They’re God-fearing lads.

Good afternoon, Mr. Dixon.

This your gaff, is it?


Very, um,


Very impressive.

But your leccy bill must be shocking.

Sorry, what’s a… what’s a leccy bill?

I believe you know my brother, Freddy.

Oh yeah, me and Freddy know each other.

You should repent, son. ‘Cause Jesus loves you.

We are well acquainted.


Mr. Lawrence.

Please. And, uh, bring the whole choir.

We’re sorry to hear that your brother’s been missing.

Like I said on the phone,

after Freddy concluded his business yesterday morning,

they left and we haven’t heard from them since.

Was the business matter resolved to Tommy’s satisfaction?

Fuck off!

Yes. Freddy gave Tommy the money.

Tommy waited while his associate, uh,

J-Jethro, was it?

It was Jethro, yeah.

Jethro counted the money

to make sure it was all there, and then they, uh, they left.

You see, my concern is that neither of them have been heard from

since they left this house.

And then we got this cryptic text from Jethro.

Errol, show ’em the cryptic text.

[Eddie clears throat]

“Tackle Tommy Woo Woo.”

Is that a religious thing?

I think not.

No, sure. Could he have sat on his phone perhaps?

Maybe. But I think he was trying to send us a message.

The question is… what?


Eddie, any… any thoughts on that one?

No idea, I’m afraid.

There was one thing, however.

Most probably nothing, but, uh, there was a small altercation.

What do you mean by “altercation”?

[Errol] He means when two…

Errol, I know what altercation means.

While Jethro was counting the money,

your brother became… frustrated, and words were exchanged.

Errol, that sound typical to you?

I’ve never heard a syllable of discontent between them two.

So what was the nature of the disagreement?

Tommy was frustrated at how long the process was taking.

Jethro didn’t wanna be rushed.

Tommy isn’t the most patient of people, to be fair.

[the Gospel chuckles]

Perhaps it was just that. Like I said… could’ve been nothing.


My hope is that Tommy has simply strayed from the path.

It certainly wouldn’t be the first time. [chuckles]

God loves nothing more

than a sinner who has returned to the fold.

And on that note,

does anyone here feel the need to repent?

[foreboding music plays]



Do you wish to share something with us, Frederick?

[quiet ethereal music plays]


I have a confession to make.

I have… taken a life.

Who did you kill, son?

[quiet ethereal music continues]

I’m sorry, Eddie.

I was responsible for Monty’s death. There.

Monty the cat?

[Freddy] Yeah.

Someone told me the best way to teach a cat to swim

is you throw them into a lake, so I threw him in.

In he goes,

down he went.

Freddy, I looked for that cat for two weeks.

[Freddy] I’m sorry. It was 25 years ago.

I thought this was a safe space and he could handle it.

Anything else?

Um, well, yeah, I did also finger that housekeeper you quite liked…



Fuck is he doing?

[suspenseful operatic music plays]

Thank you for your time. I’m sorry to have inconvenienced you.


Don’t be ridiculous.

We hope you find him.

I appreciate that.

But I don’t think I will now.

When I was standing over there,

I just experienced this overwhelming feeling

that my brother’s soul is no longer in his body.


In some ways, it’s a glorious thing…

but as a mark of respect, I’d like us to spend a minute in silence.

Would that be okay?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, yeah. Absolutely.

Yeah, of course.

Sounds… sounds fine.

Do you…

Edward, would you like to…

[Eddie clears throat]

Do you want to…

We should probably…


Yeah. Yeah.

[somber operatic music plays]

[music building]

Oh, that’s… quite hard.

[Freddy gasps]

That’s quite…

Hail Mary. Amen.

All right, let’s do one!

Think he bought it? Kinda feels like he bought that.

I think it’s a little too early to say, Freddy.

Sure. Sure, sure. Yeah.

If he did, though,

if… if we get through this, um,

I’ll make it up to you.

I’m not talking about money. I mean…

I’ll owe you my life.

Yes, you will, Fredwin.

Yes, you will.

Flat 12, sixth floor,

passport’s in the sock drawer in me bedroom.

Third drawer down, behind the pants.

Just to be clear, you don’t share the flat, right?

Live on me own.

All right. Leave it with me.

Oh, hello.

It’s been a busy day. So many people.

Are we expecting anyone else?

[Eddie] No. I think that should be all for today.

I know it’s been difficult,

having people come and go, but, uh, it’s not gonna be forever, I promise.


What are you laughing at?

Your father said a similar thing.

Thank you, Lawrence.

Your Grace.

But there was nothing that he could do about it.


So you knew.


[Eddie] This whole time, you knew.

Why didn’t you tell me?

Because I think that you need to make up your own mind.

Your father didn’t think there was anything wrong with it.

The money, you know… We all benefited.

But it poisoned him.

It poisoned his soul.

I don’t want to see the same happen to you.

I’m not gonna let it.

Right now, I have to deal with a particular situation.

Ah, Freddy?

Yes. Freddy.

But when it’s dealt with, and it will be dealt with…

I’m gonna remove their interest from this estate.


just promise me you’ll be careful.

[string orchestral music plays]

[suspenseful music plays]

[music stops]


[Eddie exhales] Okay.

If you leave that trapdoor open just two inches,

nature has its way of creeping itself in.

I’m not surprised. They must get confused. It’s like perma-summer down here.

Bruv, I get all sorts.

Grass snakes. Stoats.

[cell phone buzzes]

[line ringing]

One time, I had a robin redbreast flew in.

Caught it like a baseball.

And did you know, if you take your index finger

and place it on the crest of the redbreast

and give it a light little titty wank,

you’ve gotta get the rhythm just right,

the bird will give itself to you.

Legs open, wings akimbo.



Jimmy, it’s me.

[Jimmy] Hello.

Tell him it’s not where he says it was.

Bruv, he’s saying the thing he’s looking for isn’t where it’s supposed to be.

Uh, I thought it was where I told him.

[Jimmy] He says it is where he told you.


He checked the sock drawer?

It’s in the sock drawer.


[Jimmy] It’s in the drawer.

Just pass him the fucking phone.

Bruv, I’m under specific instructions not to let him have a phone.

‘Cause if I did, he could call someone. He’s a prisoner, innit?

Ask him again where his fucking passport is.

He’s saying it’s in the sock drawer.

[Jethro] Ah, shit. Wait.

It’s under me keyboard in the living room.

What? You play keyboard?

[Jethro] Yeah.

[Jimmy] Oh, he plays keyboard!


[Jethro] Tell him I’m all right.

[Jimmy] He’s good.

You know I used to play keyboard?


Bro, it’s by the keyboard.

Underneath, lad, yeah.

In a little cupboard.

In a cupboard.

I don’t know what cupboard, but it’s little.

All right, fine.

[music playing quietly through headphones]

[exhales] For fuck’s sake!

[music plays loudly through stereo]

♪ Trauma, trauma, trauma ♪

♪ I wish a bitch would When I’m walking down the street ♪

♪ I wish a bitch would Just to find some release ♪

♪ Don’t trust no man Don’t trust the police ♪

♪ I wish a bitch would… ♪

[both grunting]

♪ I wish a bitch would Just to find some release ♪

♪ Don’t trust no man Don’t trust the police ♪

♪ I wish a bitch would… ♪

[grunting and groaning]

♪ Not this time, won’t go your way You can beg me to play ♪

♪ Play along with your games ♪

♪ When I’m the one that’s screaming no When I’m the one that’s screaming ♪

♪ Get him down on his knees Role reverse, look at me ♪

♪ Aren’t I sweet? ♪

♪ I won’t let you get away The justice system might have failed ♪

♪ But tonight I’ll paint this town red For those that you took ♪

♪ Look you right in your face See this girl, say her name ♪

♪ Say her name Say her name, say her name ♪

♪ I wish a bitch would When I’m walking down the street ♪

♪ I wish a bitch would Just to find some release ♪

♪ Don’t trust no man Don’t trust the police ♪

♪ I wish a bitch would ♪

♪ I wish a bitch would When I’m walking down the street ♪

♪ I wish a bitch would Just to find some release ♪

♪ Don’t trust no man Don’t trust the police ♪

♪ I wish a bitch would ♪ When I’m walking down the street ♪

♪ I wish a bitch would Just to find some release ♪

♪ Don’t trust no man Don’t trust the police ♪

♪ I wish a bitch would ♪

♪ I wish a bitch would ♪

♪ I wish a bitch would ♪

♪ I wish a bitch would ♪

♪ I wish a bitch would ♪


[Eddie groans]

[Eddie] Fuck. [groans]


[breathes deeply]


[lively orchestral music plays]

[man] Good evening, sir.

Thank you.

Well, look at you. Dressed like a warrior. Did you get the passport?

Any complications? You look a bit shit.

Remind me why we’re here?

We wanna know why Uncle Stan’s willing to pay

twice what your country pile is worth.

And why do you say “we”?

I don’t think it’s the house he’s interested in.

I think it’s our business.

And what’s his business?

Meth. He’s made billions from it.

What are you, Susan?

A drug dealer with a heart?

We like money just as much as the next man.

But his gear comes with a very violent price tag.

We stay in our lane because, comparatively, it’s a peaceful one.

We let him in, carnage will follow.

[Stevens] Well, here we are.

Mr. Johnston is somewhat jealous of your absence.


[Stanley laughs]

[Stevens] His Grace, the Duke of Halstead,

accompanied by his friend, Ms. Susie Glass.

Welcome, Your Grace.

Apologies we’re late.

I ran into a friend.

It’s a great pleasure.

Permit me to introduce you to Princess Rosanne.

Hello, Rosie.


Rosie, Eddie, Your Grace, Your Highness.

We used to spend summers at Halstead Manor when I was little.

A long time ago.

Oh, I should have known.

A small world it is.

Princess Rosanne is a direct descendant of King Leopold III.

She’s eleventh in line to the Belgian throne.

Last I heard it was twelfth. Who did we lose, Rosie?

Daddy fell off his horse.


Don’t say you’re sorry. You never liked him.

He had his merits. The principle one being you.

I was sorry to hear about your dad.

As we all were.

Did you know the late duke?

Yes, Susie used to work with my father for several years.

In what capacity?

I’m an antiques dealer.

How serendipitous.

Perhaps you could help us solve a dispute we’ve been having.

Well, I think I’ll catch up with the princess

while you two polish each other’s antiques.

Good evening.

Shall we?

[Rosie] Your brother can’t be too happy about being passed over.

It has been a bit of a challenge.

Has the response been nose bag and parties?

Lots of the former, not much of the latter. Excuse me.

[Stanley] This is Mrs. Jones.

Meet Susan Glass.


Ms. Jones advises me on acquisitions.

What’s your connection to Mr. Johnston?

He’s very entertaining.

And generous.

I’ve recently purchased a very specific timepiece.

Mrs. Jones has insisted that I make a copy.

The question I have for you is whether you can tell the difference.

Well, I’ve seen that it’s a Patek Philippe 1518.

How very observant of you, Ms. Glass.

It’s not just any Patek Philippe 1518.

This is the watch that was worn by Winston Churchill

when he accepted the German surrender in 1945.

Do you know what he does for a living?

Well, whatever it is, he must be very good at it.

He always sends me jets and gifts and yachts and…

Oh, I get the picture.

What do you think, Susie? How much is it worth?

A Patek Philippe from this period is usually worth

between two and a half and three and a half,

but with the added provenance

of being worn on the wrist that signed the paper that ended the war,

I’d say it’s worth between nine to ten million.

Ten points.

You can see why I insisted he had a copy made.

[Eddie] And what does he get from you?

He gets to spend time with a princess.

As you probably noticed, he likes to collect aristocrats.

Ms. Glass, could you perhaps tell us if this was genuine or spurious?

If you’d be willing to indulge me.

It’s kosher.

You must be somewhat vexed that he’s wearing it out.

That was quick. How could you tell?

A fake’s warm to the touch.

An authentic crystal’s cool because of the lower conductivity.

Or maybe it was just a 50/50 guess.

I don’t deal in fakes.

In my world, I don’t need to.

You’ll find that a reputation solves all security problems.

If I were to leave this watch on this bar,

I know that it will still be there when I return.

And that is just enough time for you and I to share a cigar.

Shall we?

I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into, Rosie.

As far as I’m concerned, he’s the perfect gentleman.

Do you know what you’re getting yourself into?

Oh, how embarrassing.

I appear to be leaking.

Shall we get you cleaned up?


[man] There you are, miss.

Thank you.

[man] You’re welcome.

Shall we get down to it, Ms. Glass?

Let’s not pretend that you and I are like them.

They live in a zoo,

while we live in the jungle.

Why don’t you tell me what you’re doing sniffing around my part of the woods?

Your father has done an admirable job keeping this enterprise profitable.

And you have done well

to avoid conflict and competition.

But I fear that this formula cannot continue.

And why is that?

If only it were still the old days.

You’re going to need a partner.

What are you? A fucking oracle?

What do you think you know that I don’t?

You’re absolutely right.

I see the future.

And if you want things to remain as they are,

things will have to change.


thank you for throwing your hat in the ring.

I’ll be sure to mull that over.

Don’t call me. I’ll call you.

On your way out,

don’t forget your gift.

My gift?

The watch.

It’s for you.

Watches are for retirement.

Your timing’s off.

[orchestral music plays]

Oh, fuck, careful.

Don’t move.


Hello, Susan.

Everything as it should be?

Just plugging a hole.

[Eddie winces]


What have you done to him, Princess?

I don’t know much about these things, but it looks like a gunshot wound.

What have you done to him?

Silly boy.

Take it you didn’t pick that up downstairs.

[Rosie] I’m not sure I want to hear this.

I’m not sure you do.

Edward, call me.

I got the passport,

but it was a little more… costly than anticipated.

Welcome to the jungle. Do I need to call Felix?

He’s been called.

What does that mean? He’s in the post?

He’s on site with a very specific set of instructions.

Shall we get on with it?

Thanks, Felix.

[orchestral music plays]

[Eddie] This is the plan.

Pay attention.

When the Gospel calls the man I just killed…


[Eddie] Yes.


This is your world, not mine.

He went first. It was self-defense.

Cool your jets.

When the Gospel comes looking,

he’s gonna find the body.

Why is he gonna find the body?

[Eddie] We’re gonna leave it there

so it looks like Jethro killed the chap

while he was looking for his passport.



Which will all make sense to the Gospel

when he finds Tommy’s body with the shotgun that killed him

in the boot of the car sitting

on the dock of the bay.

How ironic.

You went to save one man’s life and ended up killing another.

The irony’s not lost on me. But do I look like I need a lesson?

It’s not a lesson.

Just an observation.

Shall we do one?

Are you gonna help an old soldier?

Or are you gonna stand there wagging your finger?

[Eddie] I’m all right.

Now, you sit down, and I’ll take your shoes off.

Here. Have a drink.

You gonna manage?

I can manage with a drink.

Are you still here?

Don’t flatter yourself.

I don’t fuck the help.

Night-night, killer.

Who’s gonna take my shoes off?

[suspenseful operatic music plays]

Wait ‘ere.

[the Gospel] There was a sudden ping from the tracker in his Merc.

We found it parked up

by the pilot boat dock on the River Thames.

This isn’t a car. It’s a coffin.

This was in his pocket.

Exhibit A.

Complete with a video of your brother’s apology.

[Freddy squawks on video]

So… looks like you were right after all.

♪ I’m a cunt Ee-i-ee-i-oh… ♪

That’s the one.

Your heart wasn’t really in that performance, was it?

[Freddy on video] ♪ Twat there Here a twat… ♪

Oh, I dunno.

I actually put quite a lot of effort into that.

[Freddy on video] ♪ I’m a posh twat who… ♪

Turns out Jethro was a right little weasel.

Hmm. How so?

Because he murdered two men and disappeared with all the money!

Did you find him?

Not yet, but we will. Don’t you worry about that.

There is just one little niggle though.

The weapon my brother was shot with

was found in the boot of the car with his body.

Is it a gun or a knife?

It’s a rather fine, English-made sporting shotgun.

Exhibit B.

Apparently, that’s worth over £200,000.

How did Jethro get hold of a gun like that?

There’s a simple explanation for that.

It’s mine.

Or, at least, it’s ours. It belongs to our father.

I noticed it was missing after you left.

Sloppily, the gun cabinet is often left unlocked,

and… Jethro was unattended.

Yeah, I thought it might be yours.

It’s not exactly the, uh, weapon of choice

for a drug dealer on the Liverpudlian frontline. [chuckles]


[Freddy chuckles]

This is much more its natural environment. That’s why I brought it back.

I thought it was appropriate to return the hand to the glove,

as it were.

But, curiously, on me way over,

I felt an otherworldly connection begin to develop

between me and that…

that rod of judgment.

Now, this might be a big ask…

Do you think I could keep hold of that gun for a while?

Uh, legally, that could be awkward for us, unfortunately.

It does pop us in choppy legal waters.


Or you could keep it.

That’s very gracious.

But rest assured, judgment will be manifest.

At which point, the gun will be returned.


[somber music plays]

I think we need to thank Jesus for that one.

Amen, brother.

Now, can we please just go back to the quiet life?

When you say “the quiet life,”

did you ever wonder where the money came from?

I dunno. Slavery?

I think I need to show you something, Freddy.

[Freddy gasps]

[Freddy exhales]

Well, fuck the dog.

Welcome to the jungle.

That boat’s gonna take you to a merchant vessel, which will get you to Australia.

It’s like a train that stops at every station,

so it’ll take a few months, but it’s the safest way.

What were you trying to say

in that text message you sent to John “The Gospel” Dixon?

“They killed Tommy, SOS.”

How’d you get to woo woo?

Predictive text, I suppose.

And it is hard to type

when you’re being chased through the woods by angry dogs.

Good luck, Jethro.


Well, we won’t see him again.

I’m sure you’re right.

Listen, I appreciate all your help,

but the original agreement was between my father and your father.

I think it’s time I had a conversation with him.

That can be arranged.


Now, is there anything I can bring him?

He loves a barbecue.

In prison?

It’s an open prison.

And he has certain… privileges.

[operatic music plays]

[music fades]

That’s a fantastic fillet.

Wonderful marbling.

I mean, beautiful sirloin.


Very kind of you, Your Grace.

Georgie, open that roof up, will you?

You must have a very good contact.

My father kept a herd of White Park on the estate.


Commercially non-viable.

But he loved the way they used to chase the ramblers off the footpaths.

Big horns. Bad attitude.

I always had time for your father. He was a good man.

Off you go, George.

I’ll be back at sunset if that’s all right, Mr. Glass?

When am I ever late?

What? You’re always fucking late!

Go on. Piss off.

You’re back on time, I’ll save you a bit of Joe.

Know how that loin got its name?

Back in the 1600s, King James, a distant relative of yours, I believe,

he was having this banquet

which featured over a hundred dishes.

Towards the end of the second day,

they served him up a prime cut of White Park beef loin

that was so… so fucking tender,

so… flavorsome,

he bestowed it with a knighthood.

Arise, Sir Loin.

And the moniker stuck.

And that, as they say, is history.

Fuck me. Excuse me, for Christ’s sake, sit down.

Put your legs under the table. Warm your knees.

Thank you.

[Bobby] Mm.

You can’t beat a barbie in the middle of winter, can you?


I must say, Mr. Glass, this isn’t exactly what I expected from a prison.

This is nothing.

We got a nine-hole golf course,

a Nordic sauna,

a wild pond we can swim in.

Colossal for the circulation.

Even so, isn’t there an issue with blades in a prison?


The warden, thankfully,

is a great admirer of Mr. Kawasaki’s award-winning craftsmanship,

which we’re about to be the beneficiaries of.

You wanna ask me something, Your Grace?


is that all right?

[Bobby] What, him?

You can talk in front of Mr. Kawasaki. He’s very trustworthy.

Unless it’s to do with paying his taxes.

Ain’t that right, Chef?

[Bobby grunts]

To be frank, Mr. Glass,

it’s unclear to me why your business on my estate is in my interest.

I would like to open a conversation on the subject of renegotiation.

Whoa, hang on. Excuse me?

Are we not getting a bit ahead of our skis, Edward?

This is supposed to be a meet and greet.

A bit of spit on the fingers before you fed the pony.

Not a canvas for a comprehensive renegotiation.

I have a feeling your father wants to hear what I have to say.

What have you got in mind?

I want you off my land by the end of the year.

In return, I guarantee

that I will make you much more money.

[intriguing music plays]

[exhales] Mr. Kawasaki, uh,

put that loin on the barbie, will you?

Pour us out a nice glass of that, uh, Japanese whiskey.

I believe we’re about to have a proper session.

[Susie] Before you ran that by him, you should’ve run it by me.

You’re out of order. You know it.

[Eddie] You’d have shut me down.

Too fucking right.

That’s because you are an aristocratic soldier,not a South London drug dealer.

Hang on. That was me that told you that.

And you need me to stop you killing people.

[scoffs] Of course we don’t like killing people. Who fucking does?

If it weren’t for your coke-sniffing brother, we wouldn’t be in this mess.

Once you start the killing, you have to finish the killing.

And what about Jethro? We are gonna let him go, right?

[suspenseful music plays]

He’s gone, ain’t he?

[suspenseful music continues]

[sailor] Ooh, it’s cold outside! Why don’t you come inside, friend?

Yeah, I will do. Thanks.

[sailor] Yeah.

Get yourself a warm cup of tea.

[Jethro chuckles]

[suspenseful operatic music plays]

[music fades]

[operatic music plays]

[music fades]


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