Original release date: September 17, 2021
* * *
[ethereal music playing]
[Lily] After eating her mother, Glenoxi found herself exiled from Oblivion 6 and left to wander the desolate crevices of the planet Zorg on her own.
With no food and no water…
[Glenoxi groans]
…Glenoxi was feeling her lifeblood drain away.
[Glenoxi groans]
She made her peace with dying like this.
As a creature that never felt she belonged, facing the end on her own seemed only fitting.
[electronic music playing]
But then Glenoxi saw Starlanza for the first time.
As the water hit her lips, Glenoxi knew that this was her soulmate.
The only creature in the whole universe who would understand and accept her completely.
And she was overwhelmed that Starlanza felt the same.
Lily Pad, you should get ready for school.
I’m not going.
[coughs] Still feel sick.
Well, it’s been three days.
Ola’s called on the house phone again.
Have you two had a fight?
No, we’re fine.
[inhales] Well,
I’ve got to go to work now.
Hopefully, you’ll feel better tomorrow.
[Hugh, straining] 193.
194, 195,
196,
197, 198,
199, 200.
Yeah!
[panting]
[exclaims]
Can you change this bulb for me?
[pants] Sure.
[Hugh breathing heavily]
Thank you.
[grunts]
Ah.
There you go.
Bit sweaty. [chuckles]
Sorry.
I’ll jump in the shower.
[radio] Thanks for that report from our traffic correspondent.
And all eyes are on Moordale Secondary today
as they hold their first open day
since the “Sex School” controversy of last term.
Hope Haddon has said she aims to clean up Moordale’s dirty name…
[phone chimes]
[exhales]
[pensive music playing]
[knocking at door]
Yeah?
Gotta get my jacket.
We have our session with Dr. Cutton later today.
I’ll think about it.
Good luck with your TV interview.
[music continues]
Oh f…
[exhales]
Hey.
Hey.
I’m worried about Lily.
She hasn’t spoken to me since everything that happened with Hope.
Could you go talk to her, please?
I’m not a therapist, Ola.
I know, but she told me about how much you helped her with the vaginismus stuff.
I think she really trusts you.
I’m not the right person to ask. Sorry.
Could you please do up my buckle, Otis?
Really?
I thought we’d grown out of the silent treatment phase.
[Jean] Look,
I know that you’re both aware that Jakob and I are having some issues,
but I want you to still feel that this is your family home
and a safe space for you to talk about your feelings.
Why is my dad not part of this conversation?
Your dad feels it’s better not to talk about these things with you guys.
So you can’t even agree on how to tell us you might be splitting up?
Lots of couples have differing opinions on how to parent children.
Maybe you should have thought about that before you decided to have a baby
and make us all pretend to be a bizarre family!
I’m going to school!
[door opens]
I’m sorry.
It’s all a bit of a mess.
[door closes]
[Jean exhales]
[sighs] Everything you do seems to turn into a mess, Mum.
[door opens, closes]
Through! And over! Over!
Up! Yes! Well done! Yes!
[dog barks]
Yeah! Good girl. Oh!
[dog barks]
Didn’t know she could do that.
Don’t forget, it’s your uncle Peter’s dinner party this evening.
Oh, no. I’m not going. Uncle Peter’s a dick.
Adam!
I’m just saying.
You’re not with Dad anymore. I don’t know why you’re going.
Okay. Yeah, you’re right.
Peter is a bit of a dick.
But I’m just trying to ease the adjustment process.
[doorbell rings]
Is your friend Eric back?
Yep. Okay.
Bye.
Bye.
Hey.
[Eric] Hey!
How are you?
Yeah, good.
Yeah?
Ooh! My mum.
Mm-hmm.
Okay, let’s go.
Hello, Maureen.
[laughing]
Okay.
[pensive music playing]
I missed you.
I missed you too.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Come.
Let’s go.
[whimsical music playing]
[sighs]
[phone ringing]
Hello?
[Erin] Yeah. Hey.
Mum?
Um…
Where are you?
Mum, you need to bring Elsie ba…
[dial tone]
Have they found Elsie yet?
No.
I think I know where my mum is though.
[sighs]
So you haven’t been replying to my texts.
Yeah, well, I am quite annoyed at you right now.
Fair enough. I would be too.
Listen, we don’t have to talk about this when you’ve got stuff to worry about.
Okay, fine.
But I just want you to know that I’m confused about all of this.
What am I supposed to say to that, Maeve?
If you’re not sure you wanna be with me, then it’s probably not right.
Isaac.
Look.
I need to be with someone who’s sure about me
because I think I deserve that.
And even if you and I were able to work this out,
I would still be worried that you’d regret not trying with Otis,
and I can’t do that.
So with respect,
I’m taking my heart off the table.
Good luck finding your mum.
[rousing instrumental music playing]
[sighs]
You both still wanna do this?
Absolutely.
Yep.
Yes!
Incoming.
Happy Open Day!
Are you prepped?
I’m really looking forward to it.
That’s good.
Eric! You’re back! Yes!
Hey! [laughs]
I missed you! How was Nigeria? Tell me everything!
Oh, it was good. The wedding was great, and my family was the best!
What are you doing?
I’ve run out of clean pants, and I’m chafing real bad.
[Otis sighs]
What is that?
It’s my shame sign.
I threw a poo out the coach window in France.
Except it wasn’t me. It was Rahim.
We’re kinda friends now.
You’re friends with Rahim?
Kind of.
Whoa, whoa, wow. Wow! Wow!
What? It’s itchy. You know how big my balls are.
Okay, fine. But we are in public.
Go to the bathroom and sort yourself out.
Fine.
Fine.
You need to tell him about the thing.
What thing?
Hey! Sorry. Hi. Have you seen Aimee?
Oh!
Hi. No. Maeve?
Okay. Yeah?
I was gonna text you to apologize, but that felt pathetic. Can we maybe talk?
I don’t really have time right now. I think I found my mum, so…
Do you need any help?
It’s okay. I’ll let you know how it goes.
[mischievous music playing]
What are we apologizing for?
Okay, okay.
So, in France,
and please don’t freak out, but…
Maeve and I kissed.
You okay?
I’m actually speechless.
What kind of kiss? A peck-on-the-cheek kiss or a kiss-kiss?
[splutters] Um, it was a kiss-kiss.
What happened after this kiss-kiss? Are you guys a couple now?
No. I messed it all up again.
She thinks I don’t care about anything now I don’t do the clinic.
You think that’s true?
You don’t do the clinic anymore
because you had your heart broken, and you couldn’t be around Maeve.
I don’t think you stopped caring. I think you had to protect yourself.
Please, tell me this was at least the best kiss of your entire life!
It was pretty amazing.
Aha! I’m so proud of you!
Otis! Can you help me out with something for the thing?
Our computer guy has dropped out, so we need a replacement.
I thought of you ’cause you seem nerdy.
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
So, yeah.
Okay.
Well, I was kinda hoping to stay out of this one.
Um, what? Of course you’ll help. I’ll help too.
Thank you. Hey, be more Eric, okay? Thank you.
I agree with that, actually.
What’s the thing?
[mischievous music playing]
Thought you were shutting down the stall.
It’s for the thing!
[Steve] They look great.
Aimee, have you got a sec?
Thought we weren’t talking.
I’ve been an absolute arse.
Me too. Steve, hold the cakes.
[Aimee sighs]
[Maeve] I’m so sorry. You’re right.
I’m shit at asking for help, and I push people away.
No. I should never have done what I did without asking first.
I didn’t realize how hurtful it would be.
Thing is, I need help now, and you’re the only person I can trust.
Okay. What we doing?
Can you drive me to Lockwood-on-Sea?
Right. Steve, you’re in charge of vulvas from now on.
If anyone asks, the wobbly bits aren’t mistakes because…
All vulvas are unique.
Good lad.
They better not be squished.
[whimsical music playing]
He does these silly air punches like he’s Bruce Lee or something.
[laughs]
He bites his fork when he eats.
It’s only been a few months.
I shouldn’t be so irritated by him, should I?
Are there any positives?
We have lots of sex.
Ooh. [chuckles]
Well, a healthy sex life is important for many people.
I know it won’t last though.
There was a time that Michael and I couldn’t keep our hands off each other.
And then
it just stopped.
Well, that doesn’t have to be inevitable.
Oh, I’ve been meaning to tell you that Michael stopped by the other day.
He was returning something that belonged to me. We ended up having a chat.
About what?
I think he’s struggling a bit and just needed someone to talk to.
[scoffs]
That’s a bit rich.
Sorry. [sighs]
It’s just… Why wouldn’t he talk to me all those years?
And Adam’s exactly the same. [sighs]
It’s just so lonely sometimes with all these men.
[Jean] Well, Adam will talk to you when he’s ready.
You know, I’m not very good at letting Otis come to me.
I admire your restraint.
Twenty minutes.
Thank you.
Oh, that looks nice.
We are making way for a brighter,
cleaner future
here at Sparkside Academy.
You can fucking do this.
[woman] The press are arriving.
It’s Superman pose.
It helps with nerves. There’s a TED Talk on it.
[scoffs]
[clears throat, sniffles]
[whimsical music continues]
Right.
Making way for a brighter,
cleaner future
at Sparkside fucking Academy.
Fuck.
Yes.
Why are you wearing that?
You told me to.
Okay, take it off now.
Yeah.
Hope! It’s a good turnout.
Yes!
Lots of prospective students, the press, and all our private investors,
so, uh, no pressure at all. [chuckles]
Right. Well, I’ll be interested to hear your feedback.
Would you, um, just excuse me a second?
Mm. Yeah.
Cal?
Come with me.
[Cal] Get your hands off me!
You have been told repeatedly to change your behavior,
but you are clearly innately disobedient.
[scoffs]
The press would be interested to hear about
the way I’ve been discriminated against
due to how I present.
I’m left with no choice but to keep you in here for the remainder of Open Day.
You’re in violation of my rights.
[door rattling]
Let me go!
[indistinct chattering]
[camera shutters clicking]
Well, this… this is different.
[Colin] Oh.
[Jackson] So, yeah, all pretty self-explanatory.
Mm-hmm.
Um…
Stop.
Okay.
Start.
Okay.
Dimmer.
Mm-hmm.
And do not press these red…
This one?
[Jackson] Yeah. Don’t press that.
Okay.
I’ll keep him…
[Eric] Okay.
[Jackson] Yeah?
[Eric] Yeah.
I mean, I was imagining something more center stage, but this is cool.
It’s likewe’re in Ocean’s Eleven, innit?
Maybe I’m George Clooney, and you’re Brad Pitt?
No.
I’m Brad Pitt. You’re George Clooney.
I’m Andy García. If I’m anyone.
Who’s Andy García?
Okay, well, I’m gonna go while you boys hash that out.
Yeah.
I’ll see you both on the other side.
Thank you! Don’t do that.
Yeah! Yeah.
I think that Jackson is Rihanna in Ocean’s Eight
Because of the bone structure and eyes.
I’ve not seen it.
No?
No.
Okay.
But fine.
It was very good.
Ugh, this fucking fringe.
Aimee, can you please look at the road?
Sorry.
Sorry.
Right, come on. You and Otis kissed in France. What happened?
I don’t know.
My head’s all over the place at the moment.
[breathes deeply]
Things are over with Isaac as well.
Hmm.
I feel bad about hurting his feelings.
I’m sorry, babes.
Does this mean you and Otis might actually finally get together?
I don’t know.
We’ve changed a lot, so I don’t know if it would work out.
I think you should just bloody go for it, love.
It’s like Simone de Beauvoir says,
“From the hour you’re born, you begin to die.”
I think it means “live for the day.”
Yeah. Once I realized she wasn’t a lad called Simon,
her writing started to make a lot more sense.
[chuckles]
[pop music playing over stereo]
I shouldn’t have said that stuff about you and Steve.
I didn’t mean it. I think you’re great together.
No, you were right. It’s not working out.
I’m sorry.
[car horn honking]
Can you please look at the road?
Sorry.
[exhales]
I love you, love.
I love you, love.
[Aimee] My concentration’s not great.
It’s all right.
I’m sure some of you probably had your reservations about coming here today.
[chuckles] I don’t think anybody wants to send their child to a school
that’s famous for STIs and sex musicals.
But I’m here to assure prospective parents
that these scandals are a thing of the past.
And so it is my promise to you
that if you should choose Sparkside Academy for your child,
that they will receive their education on a safe
and sex-free campus…
Sex-free camp… People fuck in the bushes!
We will protect our youth at all costs.
Now, let’s hear it from a shining example of Sparkside’s new ethos,
Vivienne Odusanya.
[cheering]
Here we go.
Whoo!
Come on, Viv!
Thank you, Hope, for giving me the opportunity to speak today.
Firstly, I’d like to invite Jackson Marchetti onstage
to reclaim his position as head boy.
[audience clapping, cheering]
Whoo!
Thank you, Viv.
Ah.
It’s good to be back.
We agree with Hope that students should feel protected
whilst on campus.
The students of Moordale Secondary would like to share some ideas
on how we think
listening to young people
could make our new campus the safest place to study in the UK.
We hope you enjoy.
What the hell is going on?
[audience cheering]
[screen motor whirring]
[Otis] It’s a very slow screen.
It is a slow screen.
[whirring stops]
And here we go.
[upbeat music playing]
[audience clapping, cheering]
Hi! We’re the students of Sex School.
You might recognize us from the press.
We’re the deviant youths having loads of S-E-X.
And catching chlamydia.
And writing musicals about dicks!
[Jackson] But I’m not embarrassed to be a student of Sex School.
Sex, well, it’s part of being human.
[Vivienne] Whoa!
How did you let this happen?
I’m going to stop the video.
Do it quickly. Don’t make a scene.
[Vivienne] …bodies and identities.
[Jackson] Which is why schools need safe spaces
for people to ask those things that some might find a little awkward,
where there’s no shame, stigma, or fear.
[Vivienne] Because when shame is used as a weapon,
it doesn’t just hurt people.
It can damage them forever.
But the opposite of shame is pride.
And the students of Sex School are proud of the things people like to shame us for.
[Vivienne] Because if Lily Iglehart is a weirdo
for writing short stories about aliens with penis hands,
we’re definitely weirdos too.
[audience laughter, applause]
[Aimee] I love my clitoris, and I feel no shame.
Ladies, get your wank on!
[audience laughter, whistling]
[mischievous music playing]
I bind my chest, and I feel no shame!
I have a hairy bum, and I feel no shame.
[audience laughing]
[Ruby] I am literally perfect…
Stop the video now!
[Anwar] I’m great at anal douching, and I feel no shame.
I’m great…
That’s not gonna do anything.
There’s nothing to see here.
Get out of my way!
Eric!
I’m great at anal douching. I’m great at anal douching.
I’m great at anal douching.
[audience groaning]
[Ruby] Drop the plug.
[Eric] What?
[Otis] Ruby?
I said, drop it! Ah!
[grunts]
[Otis] Ruby. Miss!
[Eric] Miss!
[grunts]
Oh my… Is that?
That’s a burn.
Ow! What are you doing?
[Eric] Yes, yes.
Oh my God! Wow!
Ruby!
I’m great at anal douching, and I feel no shame.
Right.
[Eric] Ru… Ruby!
[Ruby exclaiming]
[Eric] You cannot do that! You mustn’t do that!
[audience groans]
[screaming]
[Otis] Ow!
[Eric] Oh God! Jeez!
[Hope groans]
I’m great at anal douching…
That is very expensive perfume.
You’re incredible!
I know.
[Connor] I’m attracted to boys and girls, and I’m trying not to feel shame.
What have you done? [sighs]
[girl] I have a third nipple, and I have no shame.
[Otis sighs]
Now, was that Fleurs du Mal?
[girls moaning]
[girl 2] Come on! Come on!
[Cal] What the fuck?
Oh, this school…
[girl 2 moaning]
A lot of shame comes from old-fashioned views on sex.
Sadly, schools have taught a lot of people
to feel ashamed of their identities and bodies.
The cycle continues today.
[Jackson] But the world is changing, and young people have had enough.
So if you agree that communication and empathy are better tools
than silence and shame,
then join us by asking your school for better.
[audience applause, cheering]
[audience chanting] We are Sex School!
We are Sex School! We are Sex School!
[breathes deeply]
We are Sex School! We are Sex School!
We are Sex School! We are Sex School!
We are Sex School! We are Sex School!
We are Sex School!
What?
We are Sex School! We are Sex School!
We are Sex School! We are Sex School! We are Sex School!
We are Sex School! We are Sex School!
Thank you! Thank you all for listening.
And now the choir will sing us out with our beautiful new school anthem.
[audience cheering]
♪ Bom-bom, bom-bom ♪
♪ Suck-a, suck-a, suck-a, suck-a Suck-a, suck-a, suck-a, suck-a ♪
♪ Suck-a, suck-a, suck-a, suck-a Suck-a, suck-a, suck-a, suck-a ♪
♪ Suckin’ on my titties Like you wanted me ♪
♪ Callin’ me all the time like Blondie ♪
♪ Check out my Chrissy behind It’s fine all of the time ♪
♪ Like sex on the beaches ♪
♪ What else Is in the teaches of Peaches? ♪
♪ Huh? What? ♪
♪ Fuck the pain away ♪
♪ Fuck ♪
♪ Fuck the pain away ♪
♪ The pain… ♪
♪ Fuck the pain away ♪
♪ Fuck ♪
♪ Fuck the pain away ♪
♪ Away ♪
♪ Fuck the pain away ♪
♪ Wow ♪
♪ Fuck the pain away ♪
♪ Away ♪
♪ Fuck the pain away ♪
♪ Away ♪
♪ Fuck the pain away ♪
♪ Away ♪
♪ Fuck the pain away, fuck the pain away ♪
♪ Fuck the pain away, fuck the pain away ♪
♪ Fuck the pain away Fuck the pain away… ♪
Yeah! Vulva cupcakes!
♪ Suck, suck, suck ♪
Fuck yeah!
♪ Sucking on my titties ♪
I wanna hear ya!
♪ Suck, suck, suck ♪
What are we gonna do?
♪ Sucking on my titties ♪
That’s right.
Whoo!
♪ Fuck the pain away ♪
♪ Suck, suck, suck Sucking on my titties ♪
♪ Suck, suck, suck Sucking on my titties ♪
[music stops]
[all gasp]
Fuck!
What?
[audience murmuring]
Hey, Hope.
[audience screaming, cheering]
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Fuck the pain away ♪
♪ Fuck the pain away ♪
♪ Suck, suck, suck Sucking on my titties ♪
♪ Fuck the pain away ♪
♪ Fuck the pain away ♪
♪ Suck, suck, suck Sucking on my titties ♪
♪ Fuck the pain away ♪
[cheering]
♪ Sucking on my titties ♪
[cheering continues]
[Colin] Yeah! You know it!
Those are my kids!
You’re my kids!
Come on, Moordale!
[cheering echoing]
[woman] What’s wrong with schools teaching abstinence?
Well, schools that teach abstinence
actually have a higher rate of teen pregnancies and STIs
than schools with comprehensive SRE programs.
And when we give teens
agency, information, and trust,
there’s a much higher success rate…
Sorry, Dr. Milburn, apologies.
It appears there’s a situation developing as we speak at Moordale Secondary.
Let’s go live there now to our reporter on the ground.
[female reporter] What was meant to be the day
that Moordale Secondary squashed the title of “Sex School”
has evolved into something quite the opposite.
Students have taken to protest,
doubling down on their belief in sex positivity,
and saying that new head teacher Hope Haddon
is quite simply behind the times.
But as you can see…
Otis?
…from the “Wall of Vulva” behind me…
Oh.
…the question remains…
Ooh.Ow.
…how progressive is too progressive?
[groans]
These people will know. I can sense it.
[Maeve] Okay.
Hi! Have you seen a woman with blonde hair and green eyes?
Kinda looks like her, only older.
Oh. Thank you.
Okay. Thank you.
[phone ringing]
Maybe this was a stupid idea.
She used to bring us here as kids all the time,
usually when she was feeling guilty about something.
At least you’ve tried.
[Erin laughing]
[indistinct chattering]
[whimsical music playing]
[Maeve] Hi, Mum. Hi, Elsie!
[Erin] What you doing here?
Should ask you the same.
Mummy’s taking me on a boat.
Fuck!
Come on!
[Eric] This is amazing.
[Otis] Mm.
You know this started with you, right?
What do you mean?
You and Maeve.
The clinic thing. Getting everyone to talk about their problems.
If it wasn’t for that, I don’t think vaginas would be getting drawn on a wall.
Vulvas.
You like helping people.
It’s one of the reasons I love you so much.
I know you’ve been hurt, but I don’t think you should lose this part of yourself.
It’s a very good part.
Thanks, man.
Mm-hmm.
I’ve gotta go, actually.
Where?
Oh my God! That clitoris is gorgeous!
Shall we get out of here?
Yeah.
Mm-mm-mm.
There he is.
♪ Clap your hands now, people, clap now ♪
♪ Clap your hands now People, clap your hands ♪
♪ Clap your hands now, people, clap now ♪
♪ Clap your hands now People, clap your hands ♪
♪ A little softer, people, get softer ♪
♪ A little softer People, get down and low ♪
♪ A little softer, people, get softer ♪
♪ A little softer People, get down and low ♪
♪ A little louder, people, get louder… ♪
[phone ringing]
Uh… [clears throat] Hello?
[Peter] Michaela! I’ve invited Maureen for tonight.
Hope that’s all right. You’re not technically divorced, right?
No. No, that’s fine.
Is the new boyfriend coming?
Ha! Hope not. That would be really awkward for you. Ha!
Anyway, gotta go. See you later, bye!
Bye.
[growls]
♪ Clap your hands now People, clap your hands ♪
[Jackson] I can’t believe we did that!
[Cal] Yeah.
[chuckles] I am so proud of you.
Oh, I’m proud of you too.
Come on. I’m feeling a bit left out here.
What?
Oh, I’ll see you guys tomorrow.
[Jackson] Yeah, see you later.
[Cal] See you, Viv.
[both] Hey.
[both chuckle]
So, you wanna hang out?
Yeah.
Okey dokey, let’s be having you. All aboard the Skylark!
I’m not due for eight weeks. [groans]
That’s it, darling.
[sighs]
You’re the lady who used to do therapy at the school?
Yeah, that’s me.
My daughter’s at Moordale. She’s going through a bit of a tough time.
Quite worried about her, to be honest.
I wish she had someone professional, like you, she could talk to on campus.
Sorry. That’s the last thing you want to be thinking about.
Oh, no, it’s good to be thinking about something else. [groans]
Why’s she having a tough time?
Keep breathing. Um, well, she’s refusing to go to school.
She’s always been a bit of an outsider.
She’s obsessed with aliens and things like that.
I don’t think people really get her.
I don’t think I understand her sometimes.
Well, I’m sure you’re more alike than you think. [groans]
Maybe try and find some common ground, something you can relate to in her world,
and see if the conversation starts there.
Ooh, oh shit!
Okay, blow out the candles with me, darling.
[short, quick breathing]
I’ll try Jakob again.
[Jakob] It’s funny.
She’s the one that wanted this meeting, but she’s the one that’s late.
[chuckles]
You mean, you wouldn’t choose to be here if it weren’t for Jean?
No. [chuckles]
Well,
perhaps we can use this time to talk specifically about your feelings, Jakob.
[breathes deeply]
I feel fine.
You don’t seem fine. You seem angry.
Well, she’s late.
Can I ask you about your previous marriage?
[splutters]
She… she passed away.
Yes, but I wonder,
can you tell me a little bit about the relationship before she died?
We met young.
[sighs]
I loved her very much.
And I think she loved me.
But it was young love.
Um, we were both very naive. And…
then things changed once we had our children.
How did it change?
[exhales]
She met someone else.
I think she…
she wanted to leave me.
[emotional music playing]
Then she got sick.
It was all very confusing.
Yes, I can imagine it must have been.
But you stayed with her.
Yeah. You don’t leave when someone is sick.
And we made it work…
[sighs]…until the end.
When did you grieve?
When she died,
I…
broke down into pieces.
Yes, but when did you grieve for what you lost
when your wife had the affair?
It must be very hard to trust anyone properly again.
Especially when you weren’t able to fully process the feelings that you had
about your wife’s betrayal.
Yeah, I have a problem with trust.
But I want to try.
[emotional music continues]
[romantic music playing in background]
Mm-mm.
Too fast?
Yeah, I’d rather keep it off.
That’s cool.
I mean on. [chuckles]
Sorry.
It’s fine.
You really are so beautiful.
Oh shit, that’s a gendered word.
Pretend I didn’t say that.
I’d also still be into you if you weren’t beautiful…
Not that I don’t find you beautiful. I do think men can be beautiful.
Like a beautiful soul. Know what I mean?
Jackson. [chuckles]
Don’t worry about it. [chuckles]
Okay.
Mm.
I really didn’t mean what I said.
I’m sorry.
No, it’s… it’s fine. It’s okay.
Okay.
I just feel like I fucked up.
Should we just stop?
[chuckles]
Um, yeah. I mean, you seem tense, and now I’m tense too.
Yeah.
We can try again another time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
[chuckles]
[exhales]
If this was going to become more serious,
then you would be in a queer relationship.
Is that okay with you?
Yeah.
Yeah, I haven’t, like, got a problem with that…
Hm.
…at all.
[Cal chuckles]
Um…
[breathes deeply]
I have to go.
What?
Just… I just gotta help my mum out with some stuff.
Oh yeah?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
But I’m… Yeah, okay.
Bye.
Bye.
[scoffs] What the fuck?
[tuts]
[thud]
Ugh!
You don’t wanna do this, Mum. That’s why you called me.
Don’t tell me what I wanna do.
Who is that girl who keeps staring at us? She’s freaking me out.
It’s my best friend, Aimee. She gave me a ride here.
And what? Is she undercover, is she?
No.
Thanks very much.
How am I supposed to know? You’re good at calling the police on me.
You have any idea how that fucked me up?
You’ve been fucked up about it?
Try having your kid taken off you!
Mum, I’m 17!
I should never have had to report you!
I know I wasn’t there for you, okay?
But it’s different with Elsie. I’m gonna give her a better life.
Mum, you can’t stay clean.
It doesn’t make you a bad person.
It’s just Elsie needs someone in her life who isn’t using.
What, like Anna?
Can we go and see Anna?
Come on, Els, let’s go.
Did you get onto that thing for smart kids in America?
How’d you know about that?
That boy Isaac told me about it.
Yeah, I did, but I can’t afford it.
[Elsie] Mummy, I want to see Anna.
Do you think Anna loves her?
Yeah, I do.
Hey. You’re gonna stay with Maeve.
I wanna stay with you, Mummy.
It’s not very nice where I’m going.
It rains all the time, and there’s no chips!
I love you.
Oh, I love you too, darling.
[voice breaking] You go back to Anna’s with Maeve, and I’ll visit.
[Erin sobs] Okay?
Okay.
Oh, I’m a lucky mummy. Bye-bye, darling. Bye-bye.
[sobs] Please just take her before I change my mind.
Elsie, come here. Come give me a hug.
[Erin crying]
[Elsie] Bye, Mummy.
[emotional music playing]
[sobs]
[knocking at door]
Hey, Lily. It’s Otis.
Can I come in?
We missed you today.
And the school realized what Hope did to you guys was wrong.
We all got together to fight for what we wanted Moordale to be like.
It was kind of amazing.
[emotional music playing]
It also made me kind of sad
’cause, uh…
I’ve realized I’ve shut myself off recently.
I stopped believing it was my place to try and help anyone.
I got hurt last term.
Badly.
And I didn’t wanna do the clinic anymore.
But that doesn’t mean
I shouldn’t try and be a good friend.
I saw you
after Hope humiliated you.
I didn’t even ask if you were all right.
I should’ve checked in.
I’m…
I’m really sorry I didn’t.
Ooh! [exhales]
Why are you on the floor?
Do you want some alien stuff? I’m throwing it away.
I’m okay.
Thanks.
Ola said you guys aren’t speaking.
We’re kind of fighting.
I think she’s going through a tough time too.
She’s really missing her mum.
Maybe I’ve been a bit distracted, but I’m not ready to talk to her yet.
I didn’t think we were friends.
Well, I… I know we don’t hang out much,
but I think we like each other.
Meh, you’re all right.
I know what you mean about shutting off.
I do that, too,
when I’m hurt or I feel like I don’t fit in.
What do you do when you shut off?
Hm.
Think about my stories.
About alien planets and galaxies.
I used to do it all the time when I was a kid, but…
I guess it’s just weird now that I’m getting older.
It’s really common
for people to create rich fantasy worlds to escape into.
It’s what most artists do.
They are brave enough to show the weirdest,
most vulnerable sides of themselves in their work.
Which helps a lot of people not feel as alone.
Thanks, Otis.
But I don’t think I’m an artist.
I wouldn’t be so sure.
And even if you do decide to not write about aliens anymore,
you shouldn’t ever give someone the power to humiliate you.
You’re great.
Just the way you are.
[“Oogum Boogum Song” by Brenton Wood playing]
[phone chimes]
♪ Oogum, oogum, boogum, boogum ♪
♪ Boogum now, baby You’re castin’ your spell on me ♪
♪ You got me doin’ funny things Like a clown ♪
♪ Just look at me… ♪
[computer ringing]
♪ When you wear your high-heeled boots With your hip-hugger suit ♪
♪ It’s all right, you’re outta sight ♪
♪ And you wear that cute miniskirt With your brother’s sloppy shirt… ♪
[doorbell ringing]
♪ I admit it, girl, that I can dig it… ♪
[Eric laughing]
I don’t know if she’s gonna be ready for the competition.
It’s probably dumb.
Adam!
It’s so great you’ve entered at all. Your mum will be so proud.
Hm. Well, I’ve not invited my mum.
So you only invited me?
Yeah. You’re the only one I want there.
[inhales] I’ve been thinking
that maybe we could try going out together.
Maybe somewhere a bit more gay?
[clicks tongue]
Like a… like a gay bar?
[laughs] Yeah.
Or like, um, a club or something.
[Adam] Mm.
We could get dressed up. Could be fun.
Mm. Uh…
I don’t think that would be my thing.
You like it when I put makeup on you.
Yeah, when we’re in my room.
I don’t know if I’m ready to do that with…
in front of people.
I like it when it’s just you and me.
[chuckles]
[pensive music playing]
I have to tell you something.
I kissed someone else.
[emotional music playing]
In Nigeria.
You what?
[exhales]
It just happened. I’m so sorry, Adam.
I need to go and feed Madam, so…
[sniffles, groans]
Madam? [clears throat]
[Jean grunts in labor]
[grunts]
[Lily’s mother] Amazing!
You’re nearly there, Jean.
Where the fuck is Jakob?
Keep breathing, Jean. You’re doing amazingly.
[grunting]
Amazing!
[Lily’s mother] That’s it. That’s it.
[door opens]
[grunts]
[Jean breathing heavily]
[Lily’s mother] Brilliant.
Why are there so many people?
When babies are a little early, they always like to have us all here.
[Peter] I said, “I’m injured in three places,”
and the doctor says, “Well, don’t go there.”
[laughing]
[phone chimes]
Ah, bummer!
Maureen says she can’t make it.
Aw.
This salad’s delicious. Did you make it, Peter?
[laughing]
No, I don’t have the time, unfortunately, to cook.
That’s why God gave us caterers!
[laughter]
[woman] Very good.
I made that one, actually.
[woman 2] Oh. Where’d you get the recipe?
I saw it on a television program.
Mm.
But I added the feta and the parsley.
I love a man who can cook.
[Peter] I don’t think making a salad is exactly cooking, is it?
Putting a lot of leaves in a bowl.
But wait till you taste the chocolate and beetroot cake for dessert.
It’s to fucking die for and gluten-free.
Guilt-free. Huh?
Mm. There is something sweet in there.
I put honey in the dressing, and there’s also pomegranate seeds and…
Pomegran… [laughing]
Could somebody here give my little brother a job?
He’s got too much time on his hands.
[woman 3 laughs]
[silverware clattering]
What you doing?
I’m leaving.
Why? The grown-ups are in the middle of dinner.
Because I can’t bear to waste another precious second of my life
pretending to like you.
You’re awful.
Oh, that’s a wee bit dramatic, don’t you think, Michaela?
My name is Michael!
And my life is a failure.
My wife’s left, I’m quite sure my son hates me, and I’m unemployed.
But I’d rather all those things than be a pumped-up shit of a man like you.
You’ve been a shit since you were a child. I think you’ll be a shit until you die.
Probably because our dad was the biggest shit of all.
And you learned to bully me so he wouldn’t bully you.
[sighs]
And that is such a great shame.
But I am too old for it to be my problem anymore.
Goodbye, Peter.
He, uh… He’s…
I like this bowl.
[upbeat music playing]
[sighs]
Hi. I got your messages. Where is she?
She’s in there.
[grunting]
[Lily’s mother] That’s it, darling.
I need you to give me one last big push, Jean.
[groans, grunts]
[Jakob] Come on. Come on. Come on.
[screaming]
That’s it. You’ve done it!
[baby crying]
[panting]
It’s a little girl!
[Jean groans]
I’m so sorry I was late.
It’s a girl.
You did it! You did it!
[baby crying]
She’s so tiny.
So tiny.
You did so good.
[breathes deeply]
I feel strange.
What?
Something’s wrong.
What? Something’s wrong.
[monitor beeping rapidly]
What’s happening here? What’s happening?
Can you please step outside?
[tense music playing]
Thank you so much, Maeve.
Come here.
Will you stay again tonight?
You’ve had a really shitty day.
Yeah, that would be nice. I’m just gonna say goodbye to my friend.
Okay.
Maeve, I know you don’t like emotional shit,
but I’ve been thinking about how you don’t really have a proper mum,
and I wanted you to know that even though my mum has money,
she’s also crap sometimes too.
So I was thinking that maybe we could be each other’s mums.
[emotional music playing]
Thanks, Mum.
You’re welcome, Mum.
[knocking at door]
Hi, Maureen.
Hi.
I made a salad. I thought you and Adam might like it.
Actually, that’s not true. I just wanted to see you.
And I just wanted to say
that I know I was hard to live with,
that I’m rigid, and I’m uptight.
I don’t know how to be spontaneous or anything close to happy.
But I do want to change.
I want to try to be the man that you want.
Do you think we could talk?
I don’t want to talk.
[upbeat music playing]
♪ She was an ex-marine She had her own machine ♪
♪ She put my soul in dirty… ♪
[phone chimes]
♪…And it came out clean ♪
♪ I was in toxic awe ♪
♪ I had my locked-up jaw ♪
♪ I didn’t talk much, I listened And I looked and saw ♪
♪ And I was just 19 I must have seemed quite keen ♪
♪ She broke me open I was no longer on either team ♪
♪ Jumped on the right time ♪
♪ I’m gonna buy time ♪
[pants] Hi. Oh, it’s me again.
Is Maeve here?
Yeah. Yeah, she’s in the back garden.
[lighter clicking]
Hey.
Hi! What are you doing here?
I, uh, I needed to talk to you.
What’s… what’s going on?
It was never about the clinic.
I did the clinic to be close to you.
And then you made me realize I’m good at something,
and I like helping people.
And I thought you ignored my message, and it crushed my heart.
I stopped doing the clinic because it reminded me of you. It sucked.
‘Cause I wanna help people.
I know this is only about money for you, but let’s just be a team again, please?
If I can’t be with you romantically, I still wanna see you every day.
[rain pattering]
Nothing feels right when you’re not around.
It wasn’t just about the money for me.
[exhales]
I wanted to be close to you too.
♪ It’s every day ♪
♪ I’m in this place ♪
♪ I feel this way ♪
♪ I feel the same ♪
♪ It’s every day… ♪
[phone ringing]
♪ I feel this way ♪
♪ I feel the same ♪
♪ Is it all inside my head… ♪
[thunder rumbling]
♪ Is it all inside my head ♪
♪ I view the list ♪
♪ And take my pick ♪
♪ I view my fate ♪
♪ And make the choice ♪
♪ ‘Cause it’s nobody else’s but mine ♪
♪ But you’re in my heart ♪
♪ I can feel your beat ♪
♪ And you move my mind ♪
♪ From behind the wheel ♪
♪ When I lose control ♪
♪ I can only breathe your name ♪
♪ ‘Cause you’re in my heart ♪
♪ I can feel your beat ♪
♪ And you move my mind ♪
♪ From behind the wheel ♪
♪ When I lose control ♪
♪ I can only breathe your name ♪
♪ I can only breathe your name ♪
♪ I can only breathe your name ♪
[song fades]
