Sex Education – Series 3 Episode 3 [Transcript]

Self-expression is out as uniforms sweep the student body. Aimee opens up about the assault while Jackson bonds with cool nonbinary student Cal.
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Sex Education - Season 3 Poster

Original release date: September 17, 2021

* * *

[“Rock Me Gently” by Andy Kim playing]

That was delicious, Cynthia.

Why don’t we, uh, skip pudding, eh?

[both laughing]

[trailer creaking]

[Cynthia moaning]

[both moaning]

[Cynthia] Oh yeah, baby!

Oh! So good!

[Jeffrey moaning]

[Cynthia] Yeah!

That’s it, baby!

Oh! Yes, yes, yes, yes! Oh yes!

[Jeffrey grunting]

[Cynthia] Oh! Yes!

Oh, Jeffrey!

[Jeffrey imitates monkey]

Ooh! That’s your monkey, Jeffrey!

[Jeffrey moans]

Yes, it is!

[Cynthia] Oh yes!

[both moaning loudly]

[both grunting loudly]

[Cynthia moaning loudly]

[cat squeals]

[music stops]

[gasps, wails] Oh!

[cat whimpers]

[Cynthia] Jonathan!

He might be all right.

[explosion]

Oh!

[screaming]

[screaming echoes]

[funky synth music playing]

Vile.

Bam! Bam!

[hisses]

[music continues]

[sighs]

[hums]

[phone chimes]

[breathes deeply]

[“Macumba” by Titanic playing muffled]

[inhales sharply]

[music plays clearly]

[knocking at door]

Hi! Uh, Ola, is this my Titanic record?

Yeah, it’s great!

[chuckles] Yeah. Well, the thing is, some of my records are quite rare.

I like to keep them in their place.

Dad, where’s my biology book?

[Jakob in Swedish] How would I know?

[in English] What were you saying?

Well, I was wondering whether maybe you could ask before taking my stuff.

[Jakob in Swedish] Where’s my toothbrush?

[in English] In your washbag! Yeah, yeah. I’ll ask you next time.

[squeals] Okay, this is scratched! This is scratched!

No!

Ola, this is a limited edition!

Oh my gosh! Calm down!

[Otis] Fuck me!

[goat bleating]

[Otis shouting indistinctly]

I’m dropping Goat off at my auntie’s after this.

[Jean] It’s not a problem, Aimee.

And I want you to know that this is a safe space for you to share, and we can go as slowly as you want us to.

[Ola] I told you. In your washbag!

Will you excuse me just one minute?

[whimsical music playing]

[Jean sighs]

Um…

It’s okay.

[Otis] It comes with a sleeve. A cover and a sleeve. There it is!

Give it to me. Fuck!

[Ola] I’m doing it.

[Otis] You don’t take care of anything!

There’s dust. You don’t have a case for the record player.

[Jakob in Swedish] Ola! Why do you need five shampoos?

[Otis in English] It’s in here!

What’s the big deal?

You took my property without asking!

You’re so anally retentive!

And you don’t understand boundaries!

She’s taken the Titanic without asking!

He’s being over the top…

And I’m sure you can both work it out like the responsible young adults that you apparently are!

Quietly!

[Jakob shouts indistinctly in Swedish]

[in English] Get out!

[Jakob continues shouting]

Jakob, I have a client downstairs!

Found it.

Can everyone please keep it quiet while I’m working?

It’s too loud!

Ooh, ooh.

[whimsical music continues]

[approaching footsteps]

Um, my vagina doesn’t look like this.

One of my lip bits is longer than the other.

Well, it’s just an educational model.

The external part is called the vulva, and the lip bits you’re talking about are called the labia, and they come in all different shapes, sizes, and colors.

There’s a fascinating website I could direct you to that highlights the wide variety of different vulvas if you’re interested?

Yeah.

Great.

Do you want to have a seat again?

[sighs]

[exhales] Let’s try that again.

Do you feel comfortable telling me a little bit about why you’re here?

Last term, I was sexually assaulted.

And I thought that I was getting over it, but I don’t think I am.

I used to like my body, and I used to like having sex, but ever since it happened, I don’t like the way my body feels.

I don’t like looking at it.

I don’t like my boyfriend touching it anymore.

That must be difficult for you, Aimee.

Do you think you could tell me a little bit more about the assault?

I was going to school, and everything felt normal.

And then I got on the bus…

[shuddered breath] and there was this man.

Sorry, I just find it hard to talk about it sometimes.

It’s okay. We don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to.

I just wanna be the old me again.

Well, you may never be the old you, Aimee, but that’s okay.

As human beings, we are constantly changing and developing.

And by processing this trauma, you may gain clarity on the event itself, and we can move you towards healing the relationship with your body again.

Would you like that?

Yeah, I’d like that.

[goat bleating]

[whimsical music playing]

[whispers] Fuck.

Sorry.

[whimsical music continues]

[approaching vehicle]

[car stereo blaring]

[car horn honking]

[blender whirring]

Why doesn’t she ring the doorbell?

Why don’t you mind your own business?

Otis, what’s wrong with your tie?

What is wrong with it?

Let me help you.

[dishes clatter]

[Jakob] Hey.

Good morning.

[Ola] Morning.

[car horn honking]

Otis, do you think Ruby could give Ola a ride to school too?

I’m not cool enough to be hanging around with the Untouchable King and Queen.

Well, I hope that’s not true, Otis.

I’m meeting Lily anyway.

I was thinking we could all hang out later, together?

I’ve got a date. I can’t.

I’m busy too.

[door opens]

[door closes]

I just want them to get along.

I know. They will, eventually.

Smoothie?

Yeah?

Mm-hmm.

Cool.

[“Blank Generation” by Richard Hell & the Voidoids playing]

[trailer creaking]

[Cynthia moaning]

[moaning, screaming]

[both grunting]

[Jeffrey howling]

[Cynthia] Yes, Jeffrey, yes!

[“Blank Generation” continues playing]

[music stops]

[phone line ringing]

[ringing continues]

[Cynthia] Harder, harder!

Just went to get some milk.

Didn’t ask.

[Cynthia] Yes, Jeffrey, you sex god!

There are many ways that I would describe Jeffrey, but “sex god” is not one of them.

[Cynthia] Jeffrey.

I’m going to school.

[Cynthia] Come back to bed, lover.

[panting]

I can’t have sex again.

[panting]

[Ola] You have no idea how annoying Otis is.

It’s like he’s never shared a space with anyone before. [sighs]

And they do things so differently there. Everything. Everything is so controlled.

This is it!

[whimsical music playing]

[Lily] Where’d it go?

It… it was here, I swear.

Maybe someone did it as a hoax.

[funky music playing]

[indistinct chattering]

Good morning, Hope.

I’ve had ideas about how I can use my time as head girl in the most productive way.

Cool, hit me.

Great.

I wanna create a Moordale newsletter run by students.

I’ve been researching how we can make the campus more green by using solar panels and tree planting.

I wanna set up an environmental student board on campus.

I read a study that said yoga during break time creates more efficiency, so free yoga classes alongside food-education classes.

And I think…

That is fantastic.

I want to set up a meeting to talk it through properly.

In the meantime, I need you to make sure all your peers are wearing their uniforms correctly.

Absolutely, will do.

Okay. Any problems, you send them to me.

Hey.

Hey.

[Cal] Hey, Jackson.

Whoa, whoa! Fuck.

Falling at my feet now?

[exhales]

[Cal] Man, you look kind of screwed, dude.

Yeah, um…

[coughs] Everything got really fuzzy for a second.

Did you forget to eat breakfast?

Breakfast is my favorite food.

[chuckles]

Okay, but is breakfast a food or a meal?

[scoffs]

Thanks.

Every time I see you, I feel like I’ve known you for ages.

[chuckles] I think that’s the dizzy spell talking.

[chuckles] Come on, up you get.

Hi! Sorry. You’re in the wrong uniform.

What is wrong about it?

It’s the boys’ uniform. It’s way too big for you.

I think it’s a comfortable fit.

I’m following new guidelines.

You can let this one slide.

Sorry, I can’t.

You’ll have to talk to Hope about it.

Oh! Well, that’ll be fun.

[whimsical music playing]

Why did you do that?

I’m not gonna disobey rules because you have a crush.

I don’t have a crush. That’s not the point.

Unlike you, I’m taking head girl seriously.

[scoffs]

You can be so cutthroat sometimes, Viv.

[indistinct chattering]

I do not do fake wool.

This blazer is itchy as fuck.

At least we look better in them than everyone else.

Yeah.

She didn’t mean you.

Hi, Ruby.

Hey.

Gray is not my color.

Come on. It’s not that bad.

I kinda like it.

[Ruby] OT!

Um, yeah.

See you.

Okay, um, I’m going to need you to make an effort tonight.

Okay.

I need you to talk, open up a bit.

Okay, I understand.

[Eric] Cool.

[clattering]

Hi, Rahim.

I would like my books back.

Pablo Neruda, Maya Angelou.

Sure, I’ll bring them in for you.

I’d also like you to return the poems I wrote for you, that is, if you haven’t destroyed them.

I still have the poems, yes.

I burnt everything you ever gave me in a small, controlled fire, so…

Okay, I will get you your poems.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

You have confiture on your tie.

Hm?

[bell ringing]

[Adam grunts]

[indistinct chattering]

Hi. How was therapy?

Oh, it was amazing!

Do you know most women’s vulvas don’t look like they do on PornHub?

I thought mine was a bit ugly because it’s not all tucked in, but it’s dead normal.

You should read Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski. It’s a great book.

I’ll lend it to you.

Okay.

You look nice, babe.

Is everything okay? I feel like we barely see each other at the moment.

Aw, everything’s fine. Just really busy with my baking.

Good morning, Moordale.

Don’t you all look smart?

[Hope chuckles]

[Adam coughs]

[Hope] I know this probably feels like a big change, but you’ll find that having a uniform creates a sense of unity and equilibrium.

And speaking of changes, the choir will now sing the new school anthem, “Non Sibi, sed Toti.”

[neck cracks]

Shh.

[breathes deeply]

[music begins]

[choir singing in Latin]

Why are they singing in elf language?

I think it’s Latin.

Well, what does it mean?

“Not for oneself, but for all.”

[singing continues]

[Jackson clears throat]

[scattered applause]

Do you wanna hang out later?

Yeah. I’ve got…

I need to see you both in my office, please.

Oh, Maeve?

Yeah?

Come with me.

[whimsical music playing]

Come on in.

[Hope chuckles]

Please, sit down.

Iced VoVos, anyone?

My husband made them.

They’re biscuits. They won’t bite.

[Maeve clears throat]

They’ve told me to come talk to you.

Yes. Come on in. Shut the door, please.

[sniffs]

[door closes]

I know breaking old habits is hard work, but I want you all following uniform rules by the end of the week.

Cal, you can go and put these on.

[Cal grunts]

I’m not wearing a skirt.

Fine.

You don’t want to wear a skirt, that’s up to you. I’m a feminist.

I understand. But you will wear a uniform that fits you.

No baggy trousers hanging around your ankles.

I actually…

I think I’m being more than fair.

Lily, your hair and makeup is fun, but it’s not appropriate for school.

Maeve, this isn’t a campus for Cookie Monsters.

Are you referring to my hair?

I am.

Ola, only school badges allowed, I’m afraid.

It’s my LGBTQIA+ badge. It’s important to me.

Of course it is, but I hope that your values aren’t so fragile that a little badge is all that supports them.

Remove it.

Lily, am I right in thinking that you wrote the musical last term?

What did your parents think of it?

They didn’t really get it.

Hm.

Well, enjoy the VoVos.

Back to class.

[whimsical music continues]

Oh, Maeve?

Miss Sands tells me you’re interested in applying for the Gifted & Talented program in the States.

Uh, no, I can’t afford it.

I want opportunities in this school to be for everyone, no matter their background, so I’m going to see what I can do about getting some funding, so you better get that application in as soon as you can.

Okay.

I will.

Thank you.

Yep.

And I mean it about the hair.

[phone beeps]

Thank you. Hope will see you now.

♪ I wake up early to get things started ♪

♪ I do my makeup, and I do my hair ♪

♪ I practice walking and speaking softly ♪

♪ So it looks easy as if I don’t care… ♪

[girls laughing]

God, what is with that weird crop top?

[girl] Shut it!

♪ On bad days, I take it slowly ♪

♪ On good days I’m up and out in an hour ♪

♪ I don’t want to know ♪

♪ I don’t want to know What they’re saying about me ♪

♪ I don’t want to know ♪

♪ I don’t want to show That it devastates me ♪

[lock rattling]

Maeve’s changed the locks.

Yeah, I can see that.

The thing is, I think I left my passport in there and it needs renewing.

Have you got a spare key?

No, sorry, I don’t.

Why don’t you come wait inside until Maeve gets back?

I can offer you a tea, but you’ll have to make it yourself.

My brother’s out.

It looks just like her, don’t it?

How have you done that?

You never.

Mm.

Well, you’re very talented.

You’ve even captured her angry eyebrows.

She feels awful.

Talks about it all the time.

She was just worried about Elsie…

Well, it’s not really any of your business, is it?

Sorry.

Would you like me to paint your portrait?

I couldn’t afford anything like that.

It’s fine.

I like to practice, and I think you got a great face.

I did once get asked to be a hair model.

Just some academy wanting to experiment on people, but still, nice to be asked.

Okay, then.

Where’d you want me?

Just in the corner where the light’s good, actually, would be great.

I’m not stripping off!

[bell ringing]

[Otis] Maeve?

Did you, uh, did you call me earlier?

Hm?

Oh yeah, I did! But it was an accident.

Oh, okay.

What do you think of the whole…

Actually, Otis, I need to talk to you…

What are you doing here, cock biter?

Don’t call her that, please.

Your girlfriend’s charming.

What did you wanna talk about?

Don’t worry about it.

[Ruby exhales]

So 6:30 tonight, yeah?

Yeah.

Well, I was thinking I could meet you at yours at six, walk in together?

No, it’s fine. I’ll just meet you at the restaurant.

Okay, bye.

But you’re still taking me home now, right?

Wanna do homework later?

Not really.

Why you being so weird?

Oh, um, because you stole my job, Viv.

I don’t understand why you’re pretending you cared about being head boy when you didn’t.

This is an amazing opportunity for me.

Well, I hope it’s worth it.

Yo!

Hey. No more dizzy spells, then?

[scoffs] No.

You wanna hang out with me?

Yeah.

[whimsical music playing]

Your mum doesn’t half tell some stories, doesn’t she?

Have you heard the one about the one-night stand with Steve Guttenberg?

[chuckles]

[Erin] I used to have a St. Bernard called Kevin.

He did shits the size of a yule log, but, God, I loved him.

Oh, Kevin. The only decent man I’ve ever known.

[door opens]

What’s going on?

Isaac, tell Maeve I need to get my passport from the caravan, and tell her I’m having my picture done because you said I had a nice face.

[Isaac] I think she heard you.

We’ll be a bit longer, I think, while the light’s good.

Why don’t you come get your passport once you’re done?

Isaac, tell Maeve I’ll come get my passport once I’m done here.

Have you got that?

Yeah.

[“Nails, Hair, Hips, Heels” By Todrick Hall playing]

[door slams shut]

♪ Nails, hair, hips, heels Ass fat, lips real ♪

♪ You, me, you wish New phone, who this? ♪

♪ Pussy puss, puss Give ’em cunt, cunt, cunt, bitch ♪

♪ Mama, yes, God Then you pop that tongue, bitch ♪

♪ This whole club is my runway Run, bitch ♪

♪ Y’all five, four, three, twos I’m a one, bitch ♪

♪ Girl What did that girl just say, girl? ♪

♪ Girl, I don’t dance, I work ♪

♪ Work ♪

♪ I don’t play, I slay ♪

♪ Slay ♪

♪ I don’t walk, I strut ♪

♪ Strut ♪

♪ I might let you see What you gonna let them see? ♪

♪ My nails, hair, hips, heels Nails, hair, hips, heels ♪

♪ Nails, hair, hips, heels ♪

♪ Shablam for me Shablam for me, shablam ♪

♪ Shablam for me Shablam for me, shablam ♪

♪ Shablam for me Shablam for me, shablam… ♪

Where are you, Maya Angelou?

[doorbell rings]

♪ That’s all ♪

[song ends]

Shablam!

Thought you were gonna wear something smart.

What? My mum washed my jumper.

Remember to ask questions tonight.

You’re not scared of heights, are you?

Nah.

[funky music playing]

[Otis] How long are you gonna be?

I’ll just be a minute!

[urine tinkling]

Oh shit!

Excuse me, Jean. I was wondering whether you had any tampons?

Sorry to be awkward. I just got my period, and I’ve run out.

No, it’s not awkward at all. I think I’ve got some up in my bedroom.

Your dad has very good taste.

Those were my mum’s, actually.

She loved everything with peonies.

This must be an especially hard transition for you, Ola, and I want you to know that you can talk to me about it at any time.

Okay.

Did you get pregnant on purpose to trap my dad?

No!

Of course not.

You really hurt him last time. He didn’t get out of bed for weeks.

[sighs, tuts]

He’s been through so much. I’m not gonna let it happen again.

I really care for your dad.

Then why did you hurt him before?

[Otis] Ola, have you used my razor?

It’s blunt and covered in hair.

Yeah. I couldn’t find mine, sorry.

Great. Guess I have to start labeling my shit.

Otis, that’s very ungenerous of you.

We’re not real siblings, Mum.

It’s okay. He’s going to have a real half-sibling soon.

So maybe he’ll be less of an arsehole to them.

Yeah, maybe. I’ve gotta go.

[Ola] Tampons?

Yes, right.

Tampons.

[door closes]

[sighs]

[whimsical music playing]

What’s with your… [in American accent] …accent?

[scoffs]

My family moved here from Minneapolis two years ago.

[Jackson] Cool.

Do you want some?

Nah, I shouldn’t. [chuckles]

Thanks though.

Are you religious or something?

[scoffs] No, um, I used to swim.

I couldn’t do that kind of stuff, so I haven’t tried it.

That’s okay. You do you.

All right, let me try some.

[Cal breathes deeply]

[Cal] Hm.

[coughs]

[coughing]

[chuckles]

[Cal] Oh, you good?

I’m good.

[Jackson laughs]

Why did you go all woozy today?

It’s anxiety.

I’ve always had it, but it’s been pretty bad recently.

Mm-hmm.

I think now I’m not swimming, I haven’t got a routine.

I get triggered by the most random stuff.

It’s okay. I have anxiety, too, so I get it.

What was the trigger this time?

Just school.

I was thinking if I don’t swim anymore and I’m not head boy, and I’m not very good at acting, then who the hell am I?

Like, maybe I don’t care about anything enough.

Whoa. You’re 17. You don’t have to have it figured out.

[exhales sharply]

This is not the message the world is giving me.

Maybe try just being Jackson Marchetti for a bit?

All right, I’ll try.

[Jackson chuckles]

What’s Minneapolis like?

Whoa, that feels really weird coming out of my mouth.

[Cal chuckles]

Minneapolis-ah.

[Cal chuckles]

Pa-la-pa-la-pa.

Why does that feel so weird?

I think you’re just getting really high.

Oh, is it?

It is, yeah.

[both laughing]

Pa-la, pa-la!

We getting high in Minneapolis, baby!

Whoo!

[indistinct chattering]

[Eric] Ruby, you have slayed your look!

It smells like canned soup in here.

Hi.

How are you?

[Eric] I’m good. Good look.

Hi.

[Adam] All right?

[indistinct announcement over PA]

[Adam sucks lips]

There’s nothing gluten-free.

How long have you been diabetic?

I’m not diabetic.

You can’t eat sugar.

Gluten, Adam. Not glucose.

[whimsical music playing]

Does anyone else… like the smell of their own farts?

[Eric exhales]

[whispers] You told me to ask questions.

[chuckles] A bit nervous. It’s hot.

Take your fucking jacket off, then!

[Eric] Quickly.

[door opens]

Hey!

Hi.

[Ola sighs]

Jean was unpacking my mum’s stuff today.

Felt strange.

I miss her so much.

Circletruther3250 thinks it’s possible aliens made the crop circle disappear.

I thought I was imagining it, but I think the 8th is still gonna happen.

What’s the 8th?

[Lily] All these stars are gonna align, which will allow one alien mothership to make it to Earth.

It’s gonna change everything.

Okay, cool.

[Lily] Guess what?

What?

I’m ready for you to read my story. I’ll send it to you now.

[whimsical music playing]

[typing]

Okay.

Well, fucking hell!

Oh!

Hello.

[sighs]

Definitely a geranium.

[pins clattering]

Mmm.

Fucking hell!

So, are you guys excited about going to France?

Not really, I get coach-sick.

Aw. I wish I could go. Got to go to a wedding in Nigeria.

[Eric chuckles]

Isn’t it illegal to be gay in Nigeria?

Yeah, it is, but no one knows I am there, so…

[Adam] I didn’t know it was illegal.

Yeah, it’s no big deal.

It sounds like a big deal.

Can we talk about it later?

Adam, how is your dad?

Uh, I don’t know. I haven’t seen him for a while.

My parents are separated.

Yeah. Yeah, I heard, sorry.

Well, my mum’s having a baby with Ola’s dad, which is kind of weird because we used to date, and now we’re like actual siblings.

Maybe don’t tell people that.

Pretty weird, dude.

How do you feel about it? New family, baby, and stuff?

It’s a big adjustment ’cause I’m an only child, but I’m trying to be more adult.

Yeah, I think Ola’s finding it hard too.

After her mum died and her sister’s gone off to university, it’s just been her and her dad, so…

[sniffs] …maybe you can help each other out.

Did I say the wrong thing?

[Otis] No.

That was very astute, actually.

[Ruby] Holy shit!

What?

Kim Kardashian’s having another surrogate baby.

She is so bold. I can’t believe it.

Don’t you think it’s weird how the last surrogate was never in the show?

I watch the Kardashians with my mum.

Well, well, well.

[“The Man in Me” by Bob Dylan playing]

♪ La la la la la-la la la-la ♪

♪ La la la la la la la-la la la-la-la ♪

♪ The man in me will do ♪

♪ Nearly any task… ♪

[Otis screams]

♪ And as for compensation ♪

♪ There’s little he would ask ♪

♪ Take a woman like you ♪

♪ To get through… ♪

Beautiful.

♪ To the man in me ♪

♪ La la la la la la la-la la la-la-la… ♪

[both screaming]

Yes, yes. Come on!

[moaning]

I’ve done it!

Come on!

[Otis] Yes, come on!

[all screaming]

[song fades]

So ultimate question, Khloe, pre or post Revenge Body?

Pre.

I totally agree because she’s more relatable.

Big-time.

Yeah.

I think I’m starting to get the whole Adam thing.

Yeah? He grows on you, doesn’t he?

Hello, hello, hello, hi!

That was fun. Are you guys going back to Ruby’s now?

I’ve never actually been to Ruby’s house.

Really? But you guys have been seeing each other for a while.

Anyway, this was nice.

Adam, text me once you’ve watched the Kylie Does New York spin-off, yeah?

Buh-bye.

Oh! Oh, uh, bye.

Okay.

I think we were walking in the same direction, but…

Yeah.

[both laughing]

[Jean] Ooh!

Oh, do you wanna feel the baby kick?

Really?

Yeah, right there.

Oh.

[Jean sighs] Oh.

It’s stopped. It was so strong though.

Oh.

Maybe it’s gone back to sleep.

What do you think about Thor?

As what?

A name, if it’s a boy.

[both laughing]

Why do you laugh?

[Jakob laughs]

I don’t know.

Thor?

Yeah.

Thor?

Thor.

That’s the name of the superhero with the pumped-up muscles.

A bit silly, isn’t it?

It was my father’s name.

[gasps]

It’s a very common name in Sweden.

No big deal.

[Jakob sighs]

I’m sorry.

Yes, I can think about Thor, sure.

Thor Nyman.

That’s a strong boy’s name, huh?

Why does a boy’s name need to be strong?

Well, you said yourself, the kick was strong.

Yes, but the baby can be any sex and have a strong kick.

And why do you just assume the baby’s going to have your surname?

[chuckles] It ain’t gonna be Milburn ’cause that’s your ex-husband’s name.

No, but it could be my maiden name, which is Franklin.

You gonna change your name back to Franklin?

I don’t know!

Probably not, but I haven’t thought about it yet.

Well, then it makes more sense if the baby’s a Nyman.

It’s easier to stick to traditions, I think.

[Jakob laughs]

I’m actually surprised that you think like this, Jakob.

It’s so old-fashioned.

I mean, next you’ll be telling me that you vote Conservative.

I don’t vote.

What do you mean, you don’t vote?

Never have.

You don’t vote?

I think this would look good in our bedroom.

I think that would look good back in the box.

[laughs] You’re funny.

[laughs]

I’ll be okay from here, so…

How come you never invite me to your house?

[scoffs] I don’t “never invite” you…

[chuckles]

My house is shit, okay?

People assume I live in a big, fancy house, but I don’t, okay?

So I don’t invite people over.

Ever?

Not even Olivia and Anwar?

[scoffs]

Well, I’d like to see it.

[sighs]

But I understand if you don’t wanna show me.

Oh, fine!

Would you like to see my house?

Why, yes, I would.

So annoying sometimes, Otis.

[Adam] I don’t think you should go to Nigeria.

[Eric] Why?

[Adam] It’s dangerous to be gay there.

It’s dangerous to be gay anywhere.

It’s a part of me. I wanna go.

It’s not as dangerous here.

Adam, stop it, man. You don’t understand.

Did Rahim understand?

Why would you say that?

I don’t know.

Why did you keep all of his stuff?

[“Your Party” by Ween playing]

♪ We had the best time at your party… ♪

[Maureen, man laughing]

♪ The wife and I thank you very much… ♪

[Maureen, man moaning]

[man breathes deeply, moans]

Mum.

Mum!

[exclaims, gasps]

Adam, you’re home!

[both laughing]

[Eric laughing]

Hi, Eric!

Hi.

It’s lovely to see you again.

You as well.

Oh, sorry. Um, this is Hugh. He’s…

Well, he… he’s my…

The guy that I’m dating at the moment. [chuckles]

How you doing?

That’s Adam.

And this is Eric, Adam’s…

Uh…

Friend.

[Hugh] Hi.

Hi. Lovely to meet you.

Do you boys want something to eat?

Uh, no. We’re gonna go play some video games.

Uh, actually, I’m going home. [chuckles]

Lovely to see you again, Maureen. Lovely to meet you, Hugh.

Bye, mate.

Yeah.

[Ruby sighs]

[Ruby sighs]

[Otis] Oh.

Well, it’s nice.

It’s not, but thank you.

[man groans]

Dad?

I’m… I’m stuck!

Dad?

What are you doing?

I dropped my biscuit!

[man chuckles]

My balance is fucked, Rubes!

Can I help?

[man] You know it is.

[man grunts]

[Otis] Sorry. Oh Jesus.

[man] Oh!

[Otis grunts]

Sorry, mate.

[sniffs] Ah!

[Ruby] Where’s Mum?

Can’t waste a Hobnob.

[inhales sharply]

Oh, your mum got called in for a cover shift at the hospital.

Why didn’t you call me? I could’ve come back.

I didn’t wanna ruin your date.

Speaking of, do I finally get to meet the famous Otis?

Otis, my dad, Roland. Dad, Otis.

Hello!

Hi. It’s nice to meet you.

Okay, you’ve met now, so thanks for helping. Off you go.

[Roland] Go? But he just got here.

Otis, stay for a bit.

Let’s… let’s hang.

No, Dad!

Please don’t say hang.

Don’t worry. I’ll put on my dressing gown.

How about that?

That sounds great.

[doorbell ringing]

That’ll be my weed dealer.

[exhales sharply]

[whimsical music playing]

[Jackson] Did the uniform really not fit, or do you just not wanna wear it?

Shit, sorry. Was that rude of me?

[Cal] No, it’s fine. Uh…

Wasn’t the right fit for me.

I don’t like clothes clinging to my body, but I don’t really have a choice.

A lot of people don’t really get it.

Who doesn’t get it?

The whole world, Jackson.

I used to get changed in the abandoned toilet block so the idiot popular girls wouldn’t say shit about my body.

Other queer kids would change there too.

It was more comfortable, but it’s gone now, so…

That’s so messed up.

Yeah.

Do you want me to talk to Hope about it?

Thanks, but I can fight my own battles.

You’re not head boy anymore, remember?

Oh shit. Yeah, I forgot.

[both laugh]

[Jackson chuckles]

[Jackson] This is the first time I’ve felt calm in so long.

[Cal] Yeah. It’s quite nice, right?

[emotional music playing]

[dog barking]

Going on holiday, Mum?

No! I need it for my appeal to get Elsie back, which I wouldn’t have to do if it wasn’t for you!

For God’s sake. Mum, please.

Okay, I know I’ve hurt you. I was just doing what I thought was right.

I didn’t want Elsie to get hurt like Sean and I did ’cause you have an illness.

What?

You do! I’m sorry!

I know it’s not your fault, and I know you’re trying, but you haven’t beaten it yet.

You might not for a really long time.

That doesn’t mean I won’t always love you.

‘Cause I’ll always love you, Mum.

Even if you hate me.

Tell Isaac I’ll be back in a couple of days for my painting.

[sighs]

[“Never My Love” by the Association playing]

[Roland] My fingers aren’t nimble anymore. [chuckles]

Why don’t you stick around for a smoke?

[Jeffrey] Sure. Need a break from the old ball-and-chain.

Dad started smoking last year because it helps with the pain, but we couldn’t get it on prescription, which is bullshit.

♪ When I grow tired of you… ♪

[exhales sharply]

Do you want a puff, Rubes?

No, Dad. Who’s gonna help you when you fall out of bed again?

Otis?

I’m fine, thank you.

You are such an irresponsible parent!

[scoffs] Young people.

[inhales] They’re so clean-cut these days.

[Jeffrey] Ah, yes. Thank you, Roland. [groans]

You got trouble at home, Jeffrey?

Yeah, there was an incident.

Our cat Jonathan died, and now Cynthia wants to…

Sorry, kids.

…have sex all the time.

It’s constant.

I’m not as young as I used to be.

[Roland] None of us are as young as we used to be, but you gotta enjoy it while you still can ’cause… [chuckles] …life’s a bitch.

It gets us all in the end.

Dad, don’t say that.

Rubes doesn’t like it when I’m being nihilistic.

I’m sorry, darlin’. I’ll rein it in.

She’s such a good girl, so kind to me and her mum.

Which is why it’s nice to see her happy since she’s been dating you. [chuckles]

Always going on about you.

[chuckles] Otis this, and Otis that.

Oh my God, Dad! Shut up!

What? It’s normal! I used to be like that about your mum when we first met.

Yeah, I used to be like that about Cynthia too.

[sighs]

To be young.

Yeah, it was so nice to be young.

[Roland snoring]

[Jeffrey chuckling]

Your dad’s such a lightweight.

[Roland snoring]

[Ruby groans]

[Jeffrey chuckles]

[Otis, Jeffrey grunt]

[Roland snores]

[Ruby sighs]

Do you wanna stay over?

Thank you, but I should get home.

I should probably get home too.

Sorry about your cat.

Thanks. Yeah, he was a great cat.

A change in libido is a common side-effect of grief.

For some people, it’s a coping strategy.

Cynthia and me could never have kids.

She really wanted them, but they just never stuck, you know.

So Jonathan was kinda like her son.

Thought she’d fall apart without him but been the opposite.

She hasn’t even cried.

Grief hits people in different ways.

Maybe that’s why she wants to be intimate with you all the time, to avoid feeling the sadness.

Yeah, maybe.

Hey, you’re kinda like an old man in a kid’s body. [chuckles]

[Otis chuckles]

Yeah, I get that a lot.

[phone chimes]

[message whooshes]

[phone chimes]

[knocking at door]

[Maeve] Mum said you’ve painted me?

Yeah.

I was gonna give it to you when we were still friends, but, um…

Well, it would be a bit creepy now.

Can I see it?

Yeah. It’s, uh, just under those.

Okay.

This looks nothing like me.

Mum’s is pretty good though.

Yeah, the props were her idea.

Thank you for getting her to stay.

I didn’t do anything.

[Maeve clears throat]

I wanted to say that I do know you, by the way.

You said I didn’t, but I do.

I know you still cut the crusts off your toast.

That you bite your nails when you’re nervous, sometimes when you’re feeling shy.

That you could run intellectual rings around anybody, but you don’t because you’re basically a very good person.

Which is why you give me a hard time, more than anyone else I’ve ever met, because you know that’s what’s gonna make me feel seen.

Every time I’m around you, all my cells are fizzy and alive, and everything feels hopeful.

I just wish that I could take back what I did because… I’m afraid I’m not gonna have you in my life anymore.

You’ll always be in my life.

But if you ever lie to me again, I will cut your ball sack off.

Okay?

Noted.

See you at breakfast.

[sentimental music playing]

All right?

What took you so long, lover boy?

Fucking hell!

Cynthia, stop!

I can’t keep having sex with you.

I’m really tired!

And I think we need to talk about Jonathan.

I don’t think that I can.

Why not, love?

[inhales, sobs] Because…

Because it’s too painful.

I know, Cynth.

[crying]

I know.

[crying]

[Cynthia crying]

[acoustic guitar music playing]

♪ Any motherfuckers got something to say Better come out right now and say it… ♪

[chuckles]

♪ Any of you can name A single thing that I owe you… ♪

Minneapolis-ah!

♪ I guess not ♪

♪ That’s what I thought ♪

♪ All I really got is my sense of myself ♪

♪ But that’s a whole heck of a lot ♪

♪ And I don’t mean to be rude… ♪

[phone buzzing]

♪ But a girl’s gotta do What a girl’s gotta do ♪

♪ And you don’t blame the frying pan ♪

♪ If you try and pick it up When the handle’s too hot ♪

[singer vocalizing]

[door opens, closes]

Hey.

Hey. How was your night?

[song ends]

[chuckles]

It was fun.

It was a bit odd but nice.

Did you know Adam watches the Kardashians?

No, but it doesn’t surprise me.

[Ola chuckles]

Hey, I am sorry about earlier.

I’m an only child.

I’m not very good at sharing my space, but I am working on it.

I know this must be hard for you, too, so you can borrow my records whenever.

Thanks, Otis. That means a lot.

So, um, you and Ruby are getting pretty serious, then?

Maybe.

[“Tender” by Blur playing]

[phone beeps]

[phone ringing]

[sighs]

Hey.

[Ruby] My dad was embarrassing tonight.

I’m so sorry about that.

It’s fine. It’s fine. He’s a… he’s a funny guy.

Yeah, he is kind of great, isn’t he?

[breathes deeply]

Anyway, thanks for helping me out. You’re the best.

It’s no problem. I had a good time.

I’m glad.

Okay.

Night, then, Otis.

Good night, Rubes.

I love you.

Oh.

That’s nice.

[splutters] Good night, then.

♪ Tender is the night ♪

♪ Lying by your side ♪

[dial tone]

♪ Tender is the touch ♪

♪ Of someone that you love too much ♪

♪ Tender is the day ♪

♪ The demons go away ♪

♪ Lord, I need to find ♪

♪ Someone who can heal my mind ♪

♪ Come on, come on, come on ♪

♪ Get through it ♪

♪ Come on, come on, come on ♪

♪ Love’s the greatest thing ♪

♪ Come on, come on, come on ♪

♪ Get through it ♪

♪ Come on, come on, come on ♪

♪ Love’s the greatest thing ♪

♪ That we have ♪

♪ I’m waiting for that feeling ♪

♪ I’m waiting for that feeling ♪

♪ Waiting for that feeling to come ♪

♪ Oh, my baby ♪

♪ Oh, my baby ♪

♪ Oh, why? ♪

♪ Oh my ♪

♪ Oh, my baby ♪

♪ Oh, my baby ♪

♪ Oh, why? ♪

♪ Oh my ♪

[music fades]

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