Sex Education – Series 3 Episode 2 [Transcript]

Makeovers take over when Ruby gives Otis a magnetic revamp and Hope tones the school down. Way down. Elsewhere, Eric and Adam look to level up.
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Sex Education - Season 3 Poster

Original release date: September 17, 2021

* * *

♪ You won’t admit you love me… ♪

Mm-hmm.

♪ And so ♪

♪ How am I ever to know? ♪

♪ You always tell me… ♪

How do I look?

Gorgeous.

Go and take a look at yourself in the mirror. Right now, Adam.

Go look in the mirror.

♪ And then I ask you over… ♪

I look quite pretty.

Introducing Adamina from Moordale!

♪ You better give it to them, Adamina! ♪

♪ You better give it to them, Adamina! Let’s go! ♪

♪ You better give it to them, Adamina! ♪

♪ You better give it to them, Adamina! ♪

[Eric laughs]

Babe, you’re gonna ruin my makeup.

I will ruin you.

♪ And I don’t wanna wind up ♪

♪ Being parted ♪

♪ Broken-hearted… ♪

I think I’m ready to, you know…

Really?

Yeah.

Really?

Yes.

[laughing excitedly]

Okay.

[Eric chuckling]

Okay, switch.

Adam, what’s going on?

You need to come… There’s…

[laughs, grunts] Okay.

[Adam] Yeah.

[Eric] Adam?

What?

Are you all right?

[both laughing]

[Maureen] Adam, would Eric like to stay for dinner?

She’s coming. She will come in.

Go. Go, now! Go!

[thud]

[Eric] Oh God! You okay?

[both panting]

[approaching footsteps on stairs]

[knocking at door, door opening]

[gasps] Is everything all right?

Yeah.

No. Yeah.

[Eric, Adam laugh]

We were just, um…

We were doing karate, so…

Oh. [chuckles]

Yeah.

Well, have fun.

[chuckles] Ooh!

[exhales sharply, laughs]

Okay. [chuckles]

[Eric chuckles]

[door closes]

[Adam laughs]

[strained laugh]

You know your mum knows we’re not just friends, right?

Maybe you should tell her?

Uh, yeah, I will. Just not yet.

[sighs]

So, do you still wanna do it?

Oh yeah.

Yeah?

[Maureen] Dinner’s ready in five minutes!

Okay. Okay.

So not tonight, but we’re going to have sex, and I’m so excited!

[Adam shushes]

[Eric laughing]

♪ A million times I’ve asked you ♪

♪ And then I ask you over ♪

♪ Again, you only answer ♪

♪ Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps ♪

[song ends]

[Isaac slurping]

[radio plays indistinctly]

“Gifted and Talented.”

What?

Oh, it’s a scheme thing, to study in America for a couple months.

My teacher wants me to apply. I think it sounds a bit stupid.

Studying in America doesn’t sound stupid. You should definitely apply.

Gifted, talented?

That’s all you, baby!

[chuckles]

Yeah, well, I can’t afford it, so…

You’ve got a bit of jam on your face.

Where? [laughs]

No, I’m gonna throw up. Get it off.

Get it off. It’s disgusting.

Can you do it, please?

Got it.

Thanks.

Okay, I better go. I’ll see you two fuckwits later.

Have fun applying for the scheme.

Except I’m not applying.

Except you are.

[door opens, closes]

It’s starting to feel a bit Two Weeks Notice in here, just saying.

Do you mean 9½ Weeks?

I do.

[“Fantastic Man” by William Onyeabor playing]

Ugly.

Really ugly.

The ugliest.

That. I quite like that one.

♪ Since I came to know you, babe Yeah ♪

♪ I’ve been telling you How sweet you are ♪

♪ I’ve been telling you how good you are ♪

♪ Now I want you to try to tell me How I look ♪

♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me ♪

♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me ♪

♪ Please tell me how I look ♪

♪ You look so good ♪

♪ Fantastic man… ♪

Oh, are you sure about this?

I look like Magneto.

I’m sure.

But the facial hair has got to go. Sorry.

Why? I spent all summer growing this.

Aww.

Please!

[exhales sharply]

I prefer kissing you without it.

I will go and shave it off, then.

Don’t forget your jacket!

It’s Anwar’s. He’s cool with it.

I’ll wait downstairs.

[funky music playing]

Hello, Mr. Hendricks.

Morning, Ruby. Would you like some breakfast?

You don’t have any nut milk?

Mm-mm.

Well, if I eat anything else before 10:00 a.m., I’ll vom.

So, no, thanks.

I am very glad you feel comfortable staying the night with Otis.

I want you both to feel that this is a safe space to explore your relationship.

Oh, we’re just having casual sex. I would never date him. [scoffs]

[Jean farts]

Oh, I’m so sorry. I was never this gassy with Otis.

Doesn’t it feel kind of gross having something growing inside you?

No. Feels quite natural.

That would make me claustrophobic.

Well, that’s interesting. Why would you think that?

What if the father turns out to be a dickhead?

Then I have to see him until the day I die just because he impregnated me.

Well, there is that.

Commitment can be a frightening prospect.

[exhales]

Mum, can you please not therapize my friend?

Good morning, darling.

That is an interesting outfit.

Very suave.

Told you I look stupid.

You don’t look stupid, OT.

You look chic and expensive.

OT?

Oh yeah. Otis was a bit babyish, so I changed it. [chuckles]

Okay, let’s go.

So you’re getting back together?

No.

We’re gonna co-parent.

Are you upset?

No.

Yes. I’m confused.

I thought you liked Jean.

She really hurt you, Dad.

Listen, I think I just need time to process this.

Okay.

I love you, kid.

[indistinct chattering]

What you writin’?

No, don’t read it yet. It’s not ready.

The Moordale Gazette announced a short fiction competition.

It’s a five grand prize!

Think how much latex I could get with that.

[scoffs]

You all right?

I found out my dad’s going to have a baby with Jean Milburn.

Ew!

Aren’t they too old?

Yes.

Does that mean Otis is gonna be your brother?

[“Piddly Patter Patter” by Nappy Brown playing]

Oh shit!

Why is everyone staring?

[Ruby exhales]

Because you’re with me, obviously.

♪ What’s the matter ‘Bout piddily patter boo boo ♪

♪ My eyes… ♪

Why are you walking like that?

This is my walk.

Well, change it!

Whoa!

They’re really a thing now.

Mm-hm.

Sure you’re okay?

Yeah, I’m fine, honestly.

What’s that line doing here?

[song continues]

[indistinct chattering]

♪ My heart goes piddily patter, patter piddily patter, patter ♪

♪ Every time I look at you ♪

♪ Don’t I know A what’s the matter, matter ♪

♪ What’s the matter But I think it’s ’cause I love you ♪

♪ Piddily patter, patter Piddily patter, patter ♪

♪ Piddily patter, patter Piddily patter, patter ♪

Gross. These lockers are hideous. Gray completely washes me out.

Didn’t you tell him we’re not allowed to wear beige or brown?

I didn’t actually have a lot to work with, so be nice, yeah?

Why is he wearing my jacket?

Would you like it back, Anwar?

Yes.

No, he wouldn’t.

Oh my God! I have to talk to you now! I… Why do you look like Magneto?

Um, Ruby’s dressed me.

[laughs] Yeah, I can see that.

Sorry, Ruby.

Okay, we’ll see you at lunch, OT.

We’re having lunch together?

No, you are having lunch with us. Remember, we only drink Coke Zero.

[Eric] Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Okay?

He’s stolen my look.

Anwar, you can’t own a look.

Right.

What are you doing?

Well, gotta find a new look now, don’t I?

[sighs]

FYI, this, dangerously close to brown.

Good morning, baby.

[whimpers]

[Eric laughing] Where… where you going?

Okay, okay, okay.

[rhythmically] Guess who’s going all the way tonight?

Come on, yeah! Huh!

I’m guessing it’s you.

You’re supposed to look happy for me.

I’m happy. I am happy, Eric!

Uh-huh.

Are you sure Adam isn’t gonna mess you around?

I think he’s not comfortable with himself. I don’t want you to get hurt.

Enough! I don’t want to hear your feelings about Adam now.

Yeah.

I want you to be my best friend.

And ask questions about me going all the way, way, way!

[both laughing]

You’re right, okay. Sorry.

So, where’s it gonna happen?

Well, both our parents are home, so I’m making a romantic picnic.

We’re gonna do it alfresco.

Alfresco?

Eh-heh.

Mm-hmm.

Eh-heh. Eh-heh.

Eh-heh. Eh-heh!

♪ I’m going all the way I’m going to go all the way tonight! ♪

♪ I’m going all the way I’m going to go all the way tonight! ♪

♪ I’m going all the way I’m going to go all the way… ♪

Hey, why’s these lines on the floors?

Think we’re supposed to walk single file.

[Eric] Really?

Mm-hmm.

♪ I’m going all the way I’m going to go all the way tonight! ♪

[students laughing]

[Dylan] Give us a hand, Adam.

No, thanks, I’m all right.

Okay, good morn… [groans]

[students laughing]

[Emily] Very funny, very funny.

[thud]

Okay, who did this?

It was Adam, miss.

No. It wasn’t, Dylan.

I’ve covered for you before. You do this every time. Outside, now.

[students] Ooh!

Everyone else, turn to page 25 of the workbook.

Read from the top.

[pensive music playing]

♪ Bom-bom, bom-bom ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh! Wah! ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ Ah-ah, ooh, ah ♪

♪ Suck-a, suck-a, suck-a, suck-a Suck-a, suck-a, suck-a, suck-a ♪

♪ Suck-a, suck-a, suck-a, suck-a Suck-a, suck-a, suck-a, suck-a ♪

♪ Suckin’ on my titties Like you wanted me ♪

♪ Callin’ me all the time like Blondie ♪

♪ Check out my Chrissy behind It’s fine all of the time ♪

That’s it! Good!

♪ Like sex on the beaches ♪

♪ What else Is in the teaches of Peaches? ♪

♪ Huh? What? ♪

♪ Fuck the pain away ♪

♪ Fuck ♪

♪ Fuck the pain away ♪

♪ The pain ♪

♪ Fuck the pain away ♪

♪ Fuck ♪

♪ Fuck the pain away ♪

♪ Away ♪

-♪ Fuck the pain away -♪ Fuck ♪

♪ Fuck the pain away ♪

Oh shit!

♪ Fuck the pain away ♪

Go!

Two, three!

♪ Fuck the pain away ♪

♪ Fuck the pain away ♪

♪ Fuck the pain away ♪

♪ Fuck the pain away ♪

♪ Fuck the pain away ♪

♪ Fuck the pain away ♪

♪ Fuck the pain away-ay ♪

♪ Suck, suck, suck Sucking on my titties ♪

[exhales]

Thank you.

Hey, Hope! [chuckles]

We’re working on a little thing for assembly.

It’s gonna be epic. Why don’t you pull up a chair?

No, thank you, Colin. Um, could I borrow Jackson, please?

Yeah, cool. Okay!

Sopranos, all I can hear is “tit-ties,” all right?

It’s “titties.” I want you to be like a cat on heat.

[screeching a melody]

I wanted to hear your initial thoughts on the new hallway guidelines.

Uh, they’re interesting.

Interesting is a non-word, Jackson. Tell me what you really think.

I guess I don’t understand the lines.

[Colin shouts in background]

Feels a bit militant.

[distant drum beating]

It’s more about creating a calmer environment for learning.

To encourage the students to take time, to be quiet, and present with their own minds.

Kind of like a Buddhist thing?

[chuckles] No.

No, I do think it’s important…

[drum stops]

…for students to use the time between lessons to process what they’ve been learning throughout the day.

And I need you to help me bring them up to speed.

People look up to you.

[bell ringing]

I can try… [scoffs] …but I think I’m gonna struggle to get anybody around here walking in single file.

Excuse me. Hi.

Hi.

Jackson’s gonna walk you through some of the new school values.

Oh.

[Cal] This should be fun.

Hey.

Hi.

[whimsical music playing]

Are you taking the bus?

[Emily] You all right, Adam?

Is there something you need?

Yeah.

I was wondering, um, if…

I mean, whether you…

Uh, actually, never mind. Uh, it’s nothing.

Remember, I… I’m here if you need any help with anything.

Yep.

What’s this line really about?

Guess it is annoying when people run in the corridor.

It’s from a Scandinavian school model about creating unity on campus.

Okay.

Apparently, quieter corridors equal better grades across the board.

And Hope’s last school achieved 90% A to A-Star rating, so I’m not complaining. I’ve been researching her.

This line is not about unity. It’s about control.

We’re going to be put into tiny little boxes.

I think it’s just a line.

Nothing is ever just a line.

Please keep to the left. Thanks.

[locker slams shut]

Oh, Maeve, no facial piercings allowed, I’m afraid.

Why?

You won’t wear a nose ring when working at a top law firm, will you?

School’s meant to prepare you for the real world, and from what I’ve heard, you’re a very smart girl, so let’s be a team player.

That’s the best pair of titties I ever drew.

You’re not gonna paint over the Wall of Cock?

Pardon?

Sorry. It’s a wall at the back of school where people draw genitals.

Ah, yes. I remember it from my own time here.

Have they not painted over that?

No.

Oh, I’m Vivienne Odusanya.

Great name, Vivienne.

I’ll have the wall painted in the next couple days.

Oh, we can do that.

What?

We’d love to help paint it.

Okay. Fantastic.

Thanks, Vivienne.

What did you do that for?

Viv!

[Otis] Hello.

Actually, would you stand opposite me? I have misophonia.

[mouth full] What is that?

It’s a phobia of the sound of other people eating.

[chews slowly]

She can still hear you.

Fuck me.

Right, what’s goin’ on with you?

You can’t actually be okay with them being a couple. It’s impossible.

I’m okay with it. I think they’re sort of perfect together.

I think I like someone else.

Isaac? It is, isn’t it?

I knew it!

You’re always talking about him.

Isaac this, Isaac that.

Isaac, Isaac, Isaac.

[Maeve] Stop, shush!

Yes, it’s Isaac, but I’m confused because we got really close as friends, and I don’t wanna ruin that.

Well, I think you’ve got nothing to lose.

And if it all goes tits up, you’ve still got me and my flappies.

Yeah.

Aimes, this is amazing.

I’ve been practicing!

Mmm.

But all the flour, it’s making me constipated.

Last week, I didn’t do a shit for five days.

Then when I finally did do a poo, it was like my bum had this gigantic orgasm.

Oh, it was great.

Your stories are so special, Aimes.

[Jackson] I can’t believe I’m painting a wall so you can suck up to a teacher.

This wall is vulgar. You’re doing a good thing.

Loads of art is vulgar, Viv. Picasso, obsessed with dicks and vaginas.

This is not Picasso. This is graffiti.

[Cal] Who’s to say what’s art and what isn’t?

Oh, hey.

Hey.

I know her. Well, I mean, she bumped into me the other day.

My pronouns are they/them, but no worries. I’m Cal.

You can’t paint over this wall. It’s history.

It’s a wall of penises.

Okay, but not just any penises.

It’s a wall of historical penises.

Like, look. This one, this was drawn in 1985.

And this lovely little scrote right here, 1990!

We weren’t even born, and you’re trying to paint over it like it’s nothing.

Maybe we shouldn’t do this.

You’re head boy, right?

If you really care, you should make your case.

I’m gonna go talk to Hope.

[indistinct chattering]

[whistling] Uh!

[whistles] Uh!

[Hope] Colin!

Glad I caught you.

Oh, sorry. Am I on the wrong side of the line?

[chuckles] I’m still trying to get used to it.

No.

I wanted to talk about your song choices for the choir.

Well, the students choose their own songs. It’s, uh, it’s all part of the fun.

Yes, but in the wake of all the bad press we’ve been getting, I don’t think students singing about “sucking titties” is entirely wise.

Do you?

No, I guess not.

I… I’ll try and tone it down.

I’ll have my assistant send over some suggestions for more appropriate song choices.

[Hope] Great chat, Colin.

Okay.

[whimsical music playing]

Fuck off.

[shouts] ♪ Groffinator! ♪

[chokes, coughs]

Huh! How you doing? What are you doing here, pal?

[gulps]

Huh?

What?

I’m early, uh, for… for a meeting at my new job.

So I thought I’d park here.

Why not? [chuckles]

Cool.

So what’s she like? The new headmistress?

Different. She’s got a lot of ideas of how to change the place.

Not to make it better. Just, uh, different, really.

Well, I better get to… [clears throat] …my new job, and I don’t want to be late.

Well, new job awaits. [chuckles]

Yeah. Um…

[Mr. Groff clears throat] Uh. Uh.

Cool. Michael, me and you, we should hang out.

I know we weren’t besties or anything, but if you need to talk, I’m here, man.

Oh, that’s very kind, Colin.

Thank you.

Goodbye.

Bye.

Yeah, take care. Good to see you.

You forgot your bag! You don’t need your bag?

[quietly] Please leave.

Good luck! [chuckles]

[exhales sharply]

[mischievous music playing]

♪ How was lunch on the other side? ♪

Terrible.

Hm?

I’m not allowed to chew! And I hate this top!

Eric, it’s hot and tight and very hot!

Why am I carrying this thing? She’s not here!

Okay, you know you don’t have to do these things, right?

Yes, I do if I want to keep having super amazing casual sex.

And I know that that sounds bad, but the sex is so good.

[fingers snapping]

Oh.

OT. Bag!

[Otis gasps]

Sorry. Sorry, sorry.

[sighs]

What has she done to you?

Eesh!

So you plan to co-parent without getting back together?

Yes, that’s the plan.

We know that it’s

an unusual situation.

May I ask what made you break off the relationship before?

Oh, it was a number of things.

Jean kissed her ex-husband.

[therapist] I see.

I made a mistake that I apologized for.

I found the sudden presence of a partner in my life, in my space, every day, difficult.

Like, uh, my coins…

Loose change…

…everywhere.

…everywhere.

Annoying.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

[Jean] So he ended things.

A decision that I completely respect.

[therapist] Is it what you wanted?

No. I wanted to try again.

Is that why you decided to keep this baby?

No. Absolutely not.

No.

[Jean] I had discovered I was pregnant quite late on.

I really didn’t know what I was going to do.

[exhales]

Anyway, after a while, I started to feel that it was something that I might want, which was surprising.

My son is in his final year of school, and…

To be honest, I don’t think I’m ready to let go of being a full-time mum.

I think I’m good at it.

And also, well, this may sound stupid, but I’m 48, and he’s had a vasectomy, so it just seemed…

Fated?

[emotional music playing]

Yeah.

Anyway…

Being an older parent is intimidating.

I’ve found that, and so…

I want Jakob to be involved in any way that he can.

[therapist] Well,

I think you both still care about each other, but you weren’t dating for very long beforehand, so in some ways, you’re still strangers.

You haven’t had time to build up that foundation of trust, which you are going to need to be co-parents.

I’m gonna give you some homework to help you move forwards.

[chuckles] Okay.

Aimee!

Hey! I’m going to the gym. Do you want to come to mine later?

Oh! I can’t tonight. I’m hanging with Maeve.

Yeah, I’m sorry to steal her, Steve.

Okay. Maybe tomorrow?

Mm, yeah. Ooh, oh, tomorrow!

What was that about? I’m seeing Elsie’s new foster family tonight.

I know, I know, but he keeps trying to kiss and cuddle me.

He doesn’t mean to put pressure on me, but sometimes he gets this hungry look in his eyes, and I just wanna scream, [shouts] “No, Steve, I don’t wanna have sex!”

[laughter]

I used to really like sex, and I still wank a lot when I’m on my own, but I don’t know. I just feel safer when I’m by myself.

How long has this been going on for?

Since the bus.

You might need to talk to someone professional, Aimes.

Do you think I can find someone like Otis’s mum? She seemed nice.

Yeah.

[Maeve] Hi, Otis. Can I talk to you for a sec?

[clears throat] Ruby picked this out for me.

I didn’t ask, but cool.

We’re still casual, but I wanted to try something new.

Casual doesn’t seem like you.

Anyway, Aimee is still struggling after last term, and I’m… I’m worried about her. She needs to talk to someone.

I wondered maybe if she could talk to your mum?

Sorry if it’s weird to ask.

No!

No, Maeve, of course.

Really?

Yeah, I’ll… I’ll chat to her.

Thanks.

What did you mean, “Casual doesn’t seem like me”?

I don’t know, just the whole no-feelings thing.

You used to care a lot.

Things are easier when you don’t care.

Nobody gets hurt.

Yeah.

Anyway, thanks, Otis. Gotta go.

[car horn blares]

We’re going to hang at yours.

[whimsical music playing]

[brakes squeal]

[gasps]

[camera shutter clicks]

[chuckles]

[phone chimes]

[Eric] So I have bought crisps, and some ham, and some more crisps. I panicked.

Are we here to have dinner?

I don’t know!

It’s what they do in films. It’s supposed to be romantic, isn’t it?

[chuckles]

I think I’m a bit scared.

You don’t want to anymore?

No. No, no, no. I do. I really do.

It’s just, I… I’m worried that I don’t know what I’m doing.

Well, I don’t know either.

[exhales] Don’t worry. I douched before school.

Uh…

What’s wrong?

I, uh, I don’t… This… this isn’t what I want. I…

You…

Don’t wanna have sex with me.

Otis was right.

Otis? What do you mean?

He said that you would change your mind.

That you weren’t comfortable with yourself.

That this would be too gay for you.

Look, I understand that you’re not ready to tell your mum, but…

If you’re not all in, then I can’t be with you.

[emotional music playing]

Well?

Say something!

It’s just… I don’t… It’s…

This isn’t what I want.

[whispers] Fuck’s sake.

Excuse me, please. Get off. Get off it!

Ridiculous young man!

[Eric] Ridiculous.

[Peter] I think he’s pretending to go to work, which is just so humiliating.

[woman] I know you feel bad for him, but he’s been with us for weeks now.

It’s time for him to go.

[sighs] Okay, I’ll tell him. Promise.

When, Peter?

Tonight.

Peter, I’m back!

Gotta go, he’s here.

Hey, Michaela! How’s work, champ?

Uh… [splutters]

Great, yes.

Very good.

Great.

Lots to do already. Very happy.

Look… I’ve got some good news. I’ve found a flat to move into, so…

Oh.

Thank fuck for that! [chuckles]

I was gonna ask you to move out. I didn’t want to because it’s so awkward.

But, uh, that’s fucking brilliant news! When are you leaving?

[woman] Peter, what’s he saying?

[Maeve] Christ.

Maeve.

Anna.

Lovely to meet you. You’re so pretty!

Come in. We’re playing tea parties with Elsie’s dollies.

Wanna give us a hand?

[emotional music playing]

[mumbling to dolls]

[Elsie] Shall we have some cake?

Would you like a cup of tea?

What about some…

Hi, Elsie.

Maeve!

[chuckles] Hello!

Ooh! I missed you!

[Elsie] I missed you.

[Maeve chuckles]

[muffled dance music playing]

[Otis pants] Yes.

[Ruby] No.

[Otis pants] Yes.

[Ruby] No.

Oh yes! Yes!

No. [pants]

[both moaning]

Yes.

No.

[grunts] Yes.

No.

Yes!

No! [pants]

[both panting]

Now!

[grunts] Yes!

[groans]

Fuck!

[pants]

Ah!

[sighs]

[panting]

[sighing]

[panting]

[Ruby] So tomorrow is purple day. We all have to wear something purple.

I don’t have anything purple.

I left something out for you.

You what?

Don’t you wanna hang out for a bit?

Uh, my mum’s working, so I’m making dinner for my dad.

He finds it hard to cook now. It’s fine though!

Want me to come and help?

Did you wanna have sex again?

No, just thought you might want some help with your dad.

I’m fine.

I’ll see you tomorrow.

[sighs]

[whimsical music playing]

[exhales]

[sighs]

[Jean] You leaving, Ruby?

Hi.

That’s Jakob, my, uh…

The…

We’re gonna be co-parents.

You’re a good-looking couple, for old people.

We’re not exactly a couple!

Who is this rude person?

Otis’s lover, apparently.

Right, “I See You” is an exercise where you stare into each other’s eyes and articulate the emotions that come up.

Oh, this is dumb.

Come on. Let’s be serious.

[Jakob sighs] Okay. Okay.

Right, knees touching.

[both breathe deeply]

You blinked.

Stop it.

[laughing]

Come on. Come on.

Knees to knees. Come on. You can do it.

Yeah.

[Jean] Focus, focus, focus. All right.

[Jean exhales sharply]

Okay.

[inhales]

[exhales]

[emotional music playing]

[breathing deeply]

So what emotions are coming up for you?

That this is a stupid exercise, and I really wanna kiss you.

[moaning]

[door closes]

[knocking at door]

Hello.

We need to talk, New Kid.

[whimsical music playing]

Would you like some tea?

No, I don’t want any tea.

I want you to stop talking shit to my boyfriend.

Did you and Eric have a fight?

Yes.

No.

Sort of.

You told him I’m not properly gay, and now he’s angry because he thinks I don’t wanna have sex with him.

I never said you’re not “properly gay.”

I said I want Eric to be careful because you’ve hurt him in the past, and I’m worried.

You should be talking to him about this, not me.

Tried talking. Doesn’t come out right.

What do you mean?

I don’t know how to say what I’m thinking.

All the words are there in my head.

I just don’t know how to say the thing that I want to say.

The more I think about it, the worse it gets.

People are just looking at me, waiting for me to say something, so…

So I don’t say anything at all.

People think I’m scary or stupid.

Why do you find it so hard?

I didn’t grow up in a naked family.

What’s a naked family?

You know, those families where everyone walks around naked, talking about how they feel.

Like you and your mum. Bet you’re naked all the time.

We are not.

Do you think your family…

I’m not here to do your weird therapy thing.

I just want you to stop talking about me to Eric. It’s none of your business.

I will stay out of it.

[sighs]

Sometimes, it helps to write down what you want to say first.

I’m not good at writing.

Or you can ask the other person to close their eyes whilst you talk to them.

Sounds stupid.

What I’m saying is, it might help you think more clearly about what you want to say if you don’t feel observed.

It’s just a suggestion.

I’m going now.

You should wear your normal clothes again.

That top makes your neck look very long.

[Jean exhales deeply]

[both panting]

Oh, that was a bad idea.

Yeah.

[exhales]

Probably was.

[both panting]

Well, Dr. Cutton is right.

We do care about each other, and that can be confusing.

But we’re adults, and…

We won’t let that happen again.

I think we more than care for each other.

What are you saying?

I think we should be a family.

[both panting]

But she also said that we barely know each other.

I don’t care what the therapist said.

I think we should be a family, Jean.

[whimsical music playing]

[music fades]

Are you still at school, Maeve?

Mm-hmm.

I’m in my final year.

Well done, you. That’s a big achievement.

Why? Because Mum’s a junkie?

No, it’s a big achievement for anyone.

[Maeve] Mm-hmm.

And I understand you don’t have a lot of support at home.

Are you in some kind of positivity cult?

No.

It helps when the social workers come round.

Uh-huh.

You’ve got a lot of books.

[Anna] Yes, I teach literature part-time.

You can never be lonely with the company of a good book.

You can borrow that if you like.

No, thanks.

[breathes deeply]

When’s my mum gonna be able to come and see Elsie?

She should be here now. Does she run late often?

Sorry. My mum’s coming here?

Yeah, this is a family visit.

[doorbell rings]

I assumed you two would’ve spoken.

[Anna] Hello, Erin.

Fuck.

[Erin] Oh, it’s lovely to meet you.

Can I come in or what?

[door closes]

Where’s my baby girl?

Mummy!

[Erin laughs]

[Erin] Oh, darling! [laughs]

Hi, Mum.

What’s she doing here? She’s the reason Elsie’s in this happy-clappy shithole.

Not with me, her flesh and blood.

That’s rude, Mum.

Rude? I’ll tell you what’s rude. Calling the police on your own mother.

That’s rude.

Okay. I think I’m gonna come back another day.

Yeah, you do that. Nobody wants you here. Bye-bye. Bye.

I love you so much! [kisses]

[door opens, closes]

[typing]

Mm.

[computer chimes]

[ethereal music playing]

Hm.

[knocking at door]

[door opens]

Hi.

[Joe snoring]

[door closes]

Ah, don’t worry about him. He’s out like a light.

[TV plays indistinctly]

[Joe continues snoring]

[Maeve sighs]

How was Elsie’s new place?

I’m not sure about the foster lady. She’s a bit of a know-it-all, but…

It was nice.

Until my mum turned up and told me to get out, which was less nice.

Shit.

Yeah, it was pretty shit.

Do you want a hug? Mine are notoriously terrible, but still.

Yeah, all right.

I’m sure your mum will…

No. [shushes]

Let’s not talk about it. It is what it is.

[Joe snores, groans]

He’s disgusting.

Yeah.

[Joe snorts]

[chuckles]

I’m related to that.

[inhales deeply]

[TV continues indistinctly]

Wait.

Sorry.

I…

I’ve gotta tell you something.

Okay.

The night that your mum and Elsie went with the police, that Otis guy came, and I didn’t tell you.

Okay.

He said that he wanted to talk to you and that he left a message on your phone, but you’d… you’d gone to the shops.

And…

I listened to the message. And I deleted it.

Okay.

What did the message say?

Um…

Something about him still having feelings for you and that he felt like he’d messed things up.

He said, “Call me back if it wasn’t too late.”

Can you say something, please?

Elsie left weeks ago.

I… I didn’t know how to tell you.

It’s not an excuse, but… I was angry

at all the shit that you dealt with.

I don’t think Otis understands it at all.

The way that he treated you at that party.

He said that you were a selfish person, and you are the least selfish person I know.

So you went into my private property.

I’m a dick, I know, but…

[sighs]

…I was doing it because I was trying to protect you.

You’re right.

Otis doesn’t understand me.

But neither do you.

Because if you did, you’d know that I don’t trust anyone.

But I trusted you, and that was special…

And you’ve messed it up.

People make mistakes.

Like your mum. She…

Don’t talk to me about my mum.

Can’t believe I thought you were different.

[emotional music playing]

[door opens, closes]

[rock clatters]

[sucking air through teeth]

[whispers] Come on.

What do you wanna talk to me about?

I, uh… [splutters] I’ve…

Adam, it’s late…

I’m sorry.

[emotional music playing]

I wanna tell you how I feel, but I don’t want you to look at me.

Okay.

I… don’t want to have sex with you.

I want you to have sex with me.

I don’t understand what you’re saying, Adam.

[sighs]

I want you to put your dick in me.

That’s how I would like to do it.

Can you turn around, please?

I would love to put my dick in you.

[“Can I Sleep in Your Brain” by Ezra Furman playing]

♪ Can I sleep ♪

♪ In your brain tonight, stranger? ♪

♪ Can I rest ♪

♪ My bones in your head?… ♪

Adam.

Hm?

I think you should go before my parents see you stayed the night.

[Eric chuckles]

[song ends]

[Beatrice] He has to work.

Yes, I know. He works very hard. Mm-hmm.

Eric! Come in here! Your grandma’s on the phone.

Coming!

[Beatrice chuckles]

Yes, I know.

Who’s got my highlighter? Who’s got it?

Your cousin Shukpo is getting married.

Your grandmother wants us all to go to Nigeria for the wedding.

Ooh! Oh! [laughs]

What about school?

You’ll only be gone a week.

Okay…

Remember, she doesn’t know anything about Adam.

She’s too frail for that.

[whispers] Okay.

Hello, Grandma! How are you?

[drums playing]

♪ I’m Colin ♪

♪ Watch me! ♪

♪ I’m Colin ♪

♪ Watch me! ♪

[knocking at door]

[whimsical music playing]

Michael.

Colin.

I need somewhere to stay for a bit.

Sure, man.

[chuckles, clears throat]

[whimsical music continues]

No, no. Nope, nope, nope, nope.

[exhales sharply]

[sighs]

Hello, darling!

Good morning.

Have a seat. I made eggs.

[Otis chuckles]

What’s going on? Last time you made eggs was when Dad left.

[tuts, sighs]

Jakob and I have done some talking.

And…

Mm-hmm.

…we think it would be best for the new baby and…

For us, and for everyone, really, that we try and make this work properly.

As a family.

Which means?

That I want Jakob and Ola to move in with us.

I know that’s a lot to take in, and if it doesn’t feel right for you, we’ll find another way, but…

I think it could be good.

Okay.

That’s it?

If this is what you wanna do, Mum, then, yeah, I’m fine with it.

I mean, I’m not gonna be living at home forever.

Thank you for being so adult.

[car horn honking]

[soft chuckle]

[sighs]

Mum, do you think I’m a casual-relationships kinda guy?

I think you’re the sort of person who wants meaningful connection.

But I also think that it’s good for you to try different types of relationships.

[breathes deeply]

There’s a friend of mine at school.

She was sexually assaulted last term and needs some help.

I said I’d ask if you’d speak with her. It’s fine if you can’t.

I’d be honored to speak with her.

Thanks, Mum.

[door opens]

[inhales, sighs]

[door closes]

[farting]

[sighs in relief]

Um, hello! Why are you wearing your homeless clothes again?

Because these are my clothes, Ruby!

I don’t wanna have to change who I am in order to hang out with you.

But if you’re really that embarrassed of me, I guess we have to call it quits.

[scoffs]

People don’t call it quits with me.

They don’t have to if you always keep things casual.

I would like to get to know you better if you’d let me.

Why?

Because I think you’re an interesting person.

I mean, you’re terrifying…

But interesting.

Do you mean you want to be my boyfriend?

Yeah, I guess so.

[“Save a Prayer” by Duran Duran playing]

I think I can probably make people think this jacket is cool.

♪ Don’t say a prayer for me now ♪

♪ Save it till the morning after ♪

♪ No, don’t say a prayer for me now ♪

♪ Save it till the morning after ♪

♪ Save a prayer till the morning after ♪

♪ Save a prayer till the morning after… ♪

Miss?

Yeah?

Can I ask you something?

Of course.

Okay.

Uh…

Mm…

I would like to be better at school, and… and maybe…

Not be in the bottom set anymore.

Can you help me do that, please?

Why are you turned around?

It makes me think better.

[whimsical music playing]

Okay. [clears throat]

Sure, Adam.

I can try and help you.

But you must commit yourself. I don’t want to waste my time.

Thanks, miss.

[upbeat music playing]

Why is he not wearing purple?

I think we should dress how we want to from now on.

Still cool and expensive, obviously.

Shut the front door.

It’s my new look.

I call it “Pimp on Fire.”

You look great, Anwar.

You look like you were dressed by a bin.

Maeve.

Hey, I spoke to my mum, and she’ll talk to Aimee.

Thanks, Otis. I appreciate that. [chuckles]

And me and Ruby aren’t casual anymore. We’re official.

[Ruby] Hmm.

[sighs] Got you an appointment with Jean Milburn.

It’s a good start.

That’s great!

Yeah.

What if she thinks I’m wobbly in the brain?

She won’t think that, Aimes.

So what’s the news with Isaac?

[tuts] Changed my mind about that.

Why?

Because you were right.

Don’t need a boy when I’ve got you.

Maeve, why is your nose ring still in?

Because I forgot to take it out. Sorry.

Okay, hand it over.

Now?

Yes, now.

And don’t make me ask again.

Might start to think you’re not as smart as people say you are.

Hey!

[snaps fingers]

Jackson Marchetti has a crush?

Reduce it.

Jackson, I just saw the wall isn’t painted.

Yes, I wanted to talk to you about that.

As head boy, I’d like to put my case forward for saving the Wall of Cock. It’s a piece of school history and a form of artistic expression that, in my opinion, shouldn’t be censored.

What do you think, Vivienne?

I think the wall should be painted.

It’s vulgar, immature, and doesn’t represent the school in the right way.

Yeah, but…

I agree.

Would you like Jackson’s job?

Sure, absolutely, yes.

Wait, what?

Fantastic. You start today.

This will give you lots more time to focus on your artistic pursuits.

[“Sound of da Police” by KRS-One playing]

You know it would look amazing on my school CV. I couldn’t say no.

♪ Stand clear! Don man a-talk ♪

♪ You can’t stand where I stand You can’t walk where I walk ♪

♪ Watch out! We run New York ♪

♪ Police man come We bust him out the park ♪

♪ I know this for a fact You don’t like how I act ♪

♪ You claim I’m sellin’ crack But you be doin’ that ♪

♪ I’d rather say “see ya” ‘Cause I would never be ya ♪

♪ Be a officer? You wicked overseer! ♪

♪ Ya hotshot Wanna get props and be a savior ♪

♪ First show a little respect Change your behavior ♪

♪ Change your attitude Change your plan… ♪

[scoffs]

[PA alert chime]

[Hope] Hello, Moordale.

School uniforms will be introduced on campus from next week.

They are compulsory, and it’s non-negotiable.

I think my soul just died.

We’re also cracking down on jewelry, piercings, hair dye, and any non-regulation uniform.

Detentions will be given if you do not abide by the rules.

I told you, it’s never just a line.

♪ Whoop-whoop! That’s the sound of da police! ♪

♪ Whoop-whoop! That’s the sound of the beast! ♪

♪ Now here’s a likkle truth Open up your eye ♪

♪ While you’re checking out the boom-bap Check the exercise ♪

♪ Take the word “overseer” Like a sample ♪

♪ Repeat it very quickly In a crew for example ♪

♪ Overseer, overseer, overseer, overseer ♪

♪ Officer, officer, officer, officer! ♪

♪ Yeah, officer from overseer ♪

♪ You need a little clarity? Check the similarity! ♪

♪ The overseer Rode around the plantation ♪

♪ The officer is off Patrolling all the nation ♪

♪ The overseer could stop you What you’re doing ♪

♪ The officer will pull you over Just when he’s pursuing ♪

♪ The overseer had the right to get ill ♪

♪ And if you fought back The overseer had the right to kill ♪

♪ Whoop-whoop! That’s the sound of da police! ♪

♪ Whoop-whoop! That’s the sound of the beast! ♪

♪ Whoop-whoop! That’s the sound of da police! ♪

♪ Whoop-whoop! That’s the sound of the beast! ♪

♪ Whoop-whoop! That’s the sound of da police! ♪

♪ Whoop-whoop! That’s the sound of the beast! ♪

♪ Whoop-whoop! That’s the sound of da police! ♪

♪ Whoop-whoop! That’s the sound of the beast! ♪

♪ Yes, indeed ♪

♪ Yes, indeed ♪

♪ Whoop-whoop! That’s the sound of da police! ♪

♪ Whoop-whoop! That’s the sound of the beast! ♪

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