Resident Alien – S01E10 – Heroes of Patience [Transcript]

On the verge of completing his mission, Harry faces his own humanity.
Resident Alien - S01E10 - Heroes of Patience

Original air date: March 31, 2021

* * *

♪ If you kiss her, you’ll know it ♪

♪ You’ll never forget

♪ She’s a little French sweetheart… ♪

Everyone has to die.

It is the normal cycle of life for beings across the entire universe.

Some may live longer than others, but every organism comes into being and then ceases being.

[suspenseful music]

The animals know this.

They live in harmony with the Earth, as it was meant to be.

Everyone I kill with my device is going to die anyway.

At least I’m killing them for a good reason.

It’s different for humans.

Humans kill because they know they’re small, insignificant, weak.

And killing makes them feel strong… even if it’s just for a moment.


[glass clinking]

And when humans are smart, they may even get away with murder.

[glass clinking]

[wind howling]

Of course, no being really gets away with anything.

[radio glitches on and off]

[soft dramatic music]

The universe knows what you have done, even if nobody else does.

[wind howling]

[suspenseful music]

[wind howling]

And the universe will restore balance one way or another.

Humans have a word for this.

They call it “karma.”

[mid-tempo guitar music]

[car doors close]

I thought you said Asta’s car was here.

Oh. Calling me a liar?

Well, if the shoe fits, D’arce.

Please don’t fight.

Look, D’arce, we’re all just freaking out a little bit.

Like, this is bad.

You damn near gave me a heart attack banging on my door like that at the crack of dawn.

Oh, I’m so sorry that finding the dead body of the man I love locked in a freezer is so inconvenient for you!

All right? It’s a human life, asshole.

Okay? Harry is dead.

[door opens]

What is going on out here?


I’m standing here wondering why I ain’t home in bed.

Thank God you’re alive.

This is–no, it’s impossible.

She is worse than your dog.

Yeah, well, I didn’t have the heart to wake Cletus up.

He was in REM sleep chasing goats.

I’ll get her.

Sorry about this, Dr. V, but, uh, D’arcy broke into your cellar last night and she thinks she saw a dead you in the freezer.


I told her it was probably just some meat in there that looked like you, like a frozen pig or something.

I am more handsome than a pig.

Oh, me too. Yeah, man, I’m probably somewhere between a pig and a dolphin.

You know, that dolphin, that’s a fine-ass animal.


[suspenseful music]

It’s nothing but meat.

You moved the body.

Sure enough.

And here it is.

No, I meant the dead guy, dipshit.

Obviously it’s not him, but I saw a dead body down there.

Why was Asta’s car outside?

We went to a medical conference together.

You smell like alcohol.

Okay, come on, D’arce. You have to go now.

I’ll buy you breakfast.


No! [scoffs]

I know what I saw. Stop trying to gaslight me.

I know I’m not crazy.

The deputy said…

it’s time to go.

What? No.



Get your ——hands off me!

Oh, dear.

Ah! Help me, Deputy!

She on me like a spider!

Dish it out–

It’s unfortunate I have to kill everyone and leave here.

The warmth of spring is just arriving.

[indistinct shouting]


Let go of my damn hair! Ah!

Let go of his hair.

Ah, get your damn–

D’arcy, let go of the chair.

[D’arcy spits]


Take that!

You spit–

It is quite nice here.

Handcuffs, that’s what they’re for.

They’re for cuffing hands!

Come on. Come on.

I give you credit.


You fight like a pack of pit bulls.

Ugh, come on, hit me!

You know you want to hit me, Sheriff.

Do it!

Please stop struggling!

It’s gonna be okay, I’ll drive your car back.


Get in the car!

I’m sorry about this, Doctor.

Yes, I’m very upset at this intrusion.

[car horn honks]

“I’m gonna read you your rights.”

What do I say?

Tell me what I say!

That’s the problem. [D’arcy grunts]

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

Okay, all right, all right, all right, all right.

[suspenseful music]

[knife thudding]

[whispering] Pull it up. I have to see this.


[dramatic music]

[whispering] There, she’s stealing it.

I knew it.

She’s a woman in a purple skirt, man in black.

We have to warn Harry.

[mid-tempo dramatic music]

Told you he’d lead us to the alien.

[engine turning over]

[steering wheel squeaking]

[dramatic music]

You want to tell me what happened?

I’m worried about you.

You’re overreacting.

It’s not like you’ve never bailed me out of jail before.

“Overreacting”? Cool.

I woke up this morning to a hundred texts and a voicemail from you screaming,

“He’s dead! He’s dead!”

All right, look, I know what happened.

All right? You and Harry murdered a guy.

It happens, but I’m here for you.

We’re gonna take my car to Canada.

From there, I’ve got an old ski buddy in Juneau.

There’s a safe deposit box, 1,000 bucks to keep us going.

Three passports. So…

That’s… a lot to process.

Uh, but, no, I did not kill anyone.

Are you sure?

[scoffs] I’d remember.

Right. Right.

Cool, so the Sheriff was right. I’m seeing things.

New low.

D’arcy, what did you do?

I sort of broke into Harry’s house last night, and I saw a freezer full of meat, and I thought it was a dead body.

[sighs] D’arce, how much did you have to drink?

Barely anything to drink.

I had a couple edibles and a pill I found in my couch.

Come on!


you’re obviously keeping some big secret from me.

You’re my best friend!

I would not keep secrets from you.

You’re lying.

No, I’m not.

Yes, you are.


You have a tell, remember?

When you’re lying, you get overly huggy and touchy.

That’s not true.

D’arce, come on.

Thanks for bailing me out. I got to go.


[mid-tempo guitar music]


♪ Runaway, I’m just a runaway, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Runaway, I want to…

Slow down. You’re too close.

Jesus Christ, it’s like driving with my grandmother.

“Why don’t you go out back, Memaw, and knit me a sweater?”

[metal crunching, brakes squeal]

[suspenseful music]


Great, you distracted me, now we’re losing the little shit.

Oh, my God. Are–are you all right?

Watch your language, please.

And you owe me $100 for the bike.

Um… looks fine to me.

I’d be happy to wait for the police.

Pay the girl.

You’re the one who made me run her over.

Let’s go.

Now we’ve lost him.

Pleasure. [RV door closes]

Taking so long.

It’s $100.

[flute music playing over radio]

My device is at full power.

With one press of the button, the timer will begin, and roughly 90 Earth minutes later, 8 billion humans will cease to exist.

This is the moment I fulfill the mission that will change the course of the universe forever.

[over radio] Are you dreaming of pizza?

Mama Sap’s Pizza is now open in the heart of downtown Patience!


[suspenseful music]

I can’t kill everyone on Earth with an empty stomach.

[Iris DeMent’s “Our Town”]

♪ And you know the sun’s setting fast ♪

♪ And just like they say, nothing good ever lasts ♪

♪ Well, go on, now, and kiss it goodbye ♪

♪ But hold on to your lover ♪

♪ ‘Cause your heart’s bound to die ♪

♪ Go on, now, and say goodbye to our town ♪

♪ To our town ♪

♪ Can’t you see the sun setting down on our town? ♪

Is Jay working here?

I gave her a part-time job.

Dad, I don’t think that’s a good idea.

You’re friends with an alien, and Jay’s a bad idea?

Oh, she’s coming over. Get out of here!


Hey. [chuckles]

Um, I see you have a new job.

Yeah. First day.


Look, D’arcy told me what happened on the mountain.

Just wanted to make sure you didn’t lose any fingers or toes or anything.

Uh, no. Um…

[chuckles nervously] Got ’em!

Look, I was gonna tell you that if you ever want to talk about… everything, anything, I’m here.

You want me to talk to you about you?

[dramatic music]


I was thinking we could–


Sure. Yeah.

You know, I should get back to work.

Of course. It was nice to see you.



Hello, Miss Twelvetrees.

Help yourself.

I know that you know.


I know that you know.

Does she know?

“She” has a name.

And she knows.

She knows a lot.

We have a situation.

The government is after him.

They know that I know who he is.

What? How?

Because they’re the government.

Don’t be so naïve.

Excuse me?

I’m sorry.

Sometimes I speak to adults like they’re my peers because I’m mature for my age.

I’m working on it.

I hid a camera in my room, and I saw them search my house.


And they went back to their base, and now they’re driving around searching for him.

How do you know where their base is?

We have our ways.

[dramatic music]

[sighs] Where is my phone?

[dramatic music]

I learned from the squirrels that when you’ve filled your stomach, you should take as much food as you can to eat later.

With this pizza stack, I can kill everyone and still have pizza to eat for days.

And now, with a belly that’s bursting like a stuffed garbage bag, there’s nothing stopping me from completing my mission.

I should test it first.

Okay, you two.

I’ll be upstairs on the treadmill if you need anything.

Sahar, thank you again for helping Max with his homework.

I don’t mind.

I want to be a teacher when I’m old, like you.


I’m not old. I’m young, okay?

My life is not passing me by.

I’m just–just living it. But that’s–that’s wonderful.

It’s just wonderful.

[electronic beeping]

This… makes no sense.

It says the phone is here.

You’re tracking the wrong phone.

Put it on your mom’s.

It is on my mom’s.

It can’t be.

I put your mom’s phone right under the RV.

Lock the front door. I’ll get the back.

[whispering] Don’t be afraid.

We just need your help.

I’m not giving your 100 bucks back.

My device uses the Earth’s own energy to send a pulse throughout the world that will kill every human.

I can also direct it to a singular point and get rid of this body.

Will it hurt?

[bones cracking]

You again?

You know you’re just stalling.

You’re afraid to kill everyone.

No, I’m not.

My people do not feel fear.

Yes, but you’re not your people anymore, are you?

You’ve been infected with humanity.

I don’t need to listen to this!

I was supposed to die of old age with Isabelle.

I even bought a plot in Upstate New York under the most beautiful maple tree.

We were supposed to be next to each other forever.

Do you miss her?

I miss a lot of things… the five senses… driving around with nowhere to go… tacos.

But I loved Isabelle.

How do you know?

How do I know I loved my wife?

What did it feel like?

It feels like… life.

Like everything you’ve ever felt.

The joy and the fury held in your heart and wrapped in… hope… hope that everything will be okay.

Love makes you feel connected to everything.

Make you feel light-headed, you feel like you’re floating.

I love Isabelle, too.

You’re an asshole. You don’t even know her!

I do.

When she left… my heart felt like it was falling.

That’s rejection.

That’s not love.

Then why do I feel the other things?

I feel hope.

I feel connected to everyone… to everything.

I used to feel those things.

You took it all from me.

I’m sorry.

You didn’t just take Isabelle away from me.

When you killed me, you took me away from Isabelle.

She needs me.


Stop doing that with your eyes.

When you killed me, you killed her.



She cries every day.

No. No, she doesn’t.

You broke her heart!


[phone buzzing]

[phone chimes]

Harry, uh, where are you?

Please call me when you get this.

I need to talk to you.

Hey, Asta. How you doing?

Oh, hey. Um…

I need to leave early. Is that okay?

That’s fine. It’s slow.

I’ll hold down the fort.

Okay. Thank you.

Hey, Asta, can you help me out?

I need that dead foot.



I found a boot. I need to see if it’s a match.

There might be another murder in town.

[suspenseful music]

So you’re telling me eventually that thing will look like that one?

Where did you get the boot?

On the shore next to Dr. Vanderspeigle’s house.

So what happened to the real Harry Vanderspeigle?

I don’t know.

I sort of broke into Harry’s house last night, and I saw a freezer full of meat, and I thought it was a dead body.

Another murder is horrible, but we’re gonna get who did this.



[exhales sharply]

[upbeat music plays through headset]

[suspenseful music]

She has her earphones in.

She can’t hear anything.

I could scream louder than her workout songs.

I can get her down here in two seconds!

Well, you’re not gonna like what happens to her when you do that.

You need to tell us where this alien is, you little shits.

Why should we?

Because it’s here to kill us all.

If you think I am afraid to kill everybody, you are dumb!

I could press this button at any time.

If you agree with me and I am right and you are wrong, then just sit there dead and don’t say anything.

Okay, then.

We agree.

Goodbye, only human in the room.


[loud buzz]

[loud zap]

[dramatic music]

That’s impossible.

The energy doesn’t affect my people.

Was he right?

Am I no longer my people?

But that means if I set off my device, it will kill me, too.

[vehicle door closes]

Hey. [engine turning over]

What are you doing out here? [chuckles]


Just making up nicknames for everybody who walks by.

Want to have a seat, Mr. Short Pants?

Cool, guess I’ll be throwing these out when I get home.



This is the same bench that we sat on that day we skipped Mrs. Henderson’s science class.

God, you’re right. [both chuckle]

That’s a long time ago.

Are you okay?

I… remember being so happy that day.

That was right before I left for Stratton.

I remember feeling like… my life was just starting.

[dramatic music]

Yeah, you’ve always been happy like that.

It’s what I love about you.

You know, it’s what everyone loves.

I’m not happy.

You’re not?

Are you?

Well, no.

But I was never really happy to begin with.



Yeah, well, I had a chance at being happy, but… it just went away, you know?

I hurt my leg, and that was it.

Hey… [scoffs]

You can be happy.

Look, I’m gonna play the nickname game with you, and your nickname is Miss…

You’re Amazing. [chuckles]

All right.

Well, you’re… bad at that game.

[chuckles] But it’s true.

I mean, you’ve accomplished so much in your life.

Shut up.

I-I’m not amazing.

I-I feel like I’ve done nothing with my life.

I just… wanted to–

I just wanted to matter… make a difference to somebody, I–

Maybe it’s all just bullshit.

No, you matter.

You’re smart and funny.

I-I wish I was like you.

I’m terrified of pretty much everything.

But sometimes I look at you, and… you’re so fearless.

It makes me feel, I don’t know, less scared.

You know, you make me happy.

Um… what are you doing?


I’m married, D’arcy.

Sorry about that.


Oh, my God.

I’m so sorry, I thought that–

Uh, no, it’s okay.

I got to go.

Right, right.

Got to–got to go.



Please, Max, you have to trust me.

He is going to kill everyone.

Tell us who he is.

He’s not going to kill everyone.

His ship is a Quimbaya amulet.

Max, he’s going to kill everyone.

He won’t. He’ll listen to me!

[footsteps approaching]

Why are you in my house?

Sarah, what is going on?

“Hey, honey.”

“Good evening, sweetheart.”

“Oh, yeah, day was good. What’s for dinner?

Divorce? Great.”

Lock the door? That’s weird.

Okay, take whatever you want.


Don’t make me use this gun.

Oh, my God, oh, my God.

Don’t hurt the kids.

[line trilling]

Mike, I need your help. There’s people in my house.

My family is in there. They have a gun.

What? Okay, all right, look.

Do not move. Don’t go inside.

We’ll be there in five minutes, all right?

No, no, no, we don’t have five minutes.

Look, do not go inside! We’re on the way.





Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[whispering] Help.

Let me out of here!

If you touch my kid, I will kill you!

Max, who is that?

Why is he wearing a white coat, hmm?

Okay, I’ll tell you.

I swear to God!

[dramatic music]

Get away from my kid!

Okay, he told us who it is.

We got what we need. Let’s go.

Hold on, Max!

Whoa, we’re not doing that.

We’re doing whatever I say we’re doing.

[pounding on door]


Get down.


[suspenseful music]

[Dr. Hook’s “Sharing the Night Together”]

♪ Sharing the night together ♪

♪ Oh-oh, yeah

♪ Sharing the night together

♪ Oh-oh, yeah

♪ Sharing the night together

♪ Oh-oh, yeah

♪ Sharing the night together

♪ Oh-oh, yeah

♪ Sharing the night together

♪ Oh-oh, yeah

You guys are like Daredevil and the Black Widow.

[both breathing heavily]

Thank you for saving my life.

Time to go.

[dramatic music]

These things don’t usually have a happy ending.

It could’ve been a lot worse.

Yeah, I don’t recommend citizens taking the law into their own hands, but that was– that was some real hero shit the two of you did in there.

Well, we’re a pretty good team.

Yes, we are.


You both have blood, like, all over your shoes.

I’m never washing them.

Me neither.

[Dr. Hook’s “Sharing the Night Together”]

♪ Sharing the night together ♪

Oh, no.

♪ Oh-oh, yeah ♪

♪ Sharing the night together ♪

That’s a lot of tongue.

You trying to get all the way in the back?

Y’all nasty.


Y’all got a room right upstairs.

Oh, boy.

[slow music]

How’s that article coming?

Need another quote?

Asta’s my mother.

Yeah. Sheriff Mike’s my father.


Holy shit.

You’re the baby.

I’m not surprised she didn’t tell you.

She’s been keeping it a secret.


Yeah, she has.

I don’t know what to do.

She’s my mother, and I don’t even know how to act in front of her.

Not to mention my father.




It’s so messed up.

What am I supposed to say to someone like that?

I mean, I’m gonna see him.

And I can’t talk to Asta. I can’t talk to my parents.

I probably shouldn’t even be talking to you right now, but I feel like I am losing my mind and I need someone in this town to talk to–

Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey!

You can totally talk to me.

I can’t live here like this, okay?

I can’t do–

You are not running away from this.

And you are not alone.

I can help you.


Can you get free onion rings?

It’s part of the plan.


Yeah, okay.

[door slams]

You killed Harry Vanderspeigle.

No, I didn’t.

Do not lie to me.

Okay, I killed him, but he started it.

Do you have any idea what you did?

You cannot just murder someone. That is not how it works here.

Humans kill people all the time.

Someone killed Sam Hodges, so…

Yeah, and you saw what that did to me, to all of us, and you did the same thing.

[sighs] No.

Goodbye. This is done.

We are done.

No, don’t say that.

Wait, wait.



It’ll be okay. It’s like the song.

“Ooh, child, things are going to get easier.”

“Ooh, child”


Don’t touch me!

I’m sorry.

You just can’t leave me.

Don’t tell me what I can and cannot do.

Wow, you are really getting a hang of this human-male bullshit.

Don’t go. It hurts!


It’s– it’s you.

You’re the reason that I feel it– the joy and the fury all wrapped up.

You want fury?

Go back to your planet, Harry.

Whoever you are, whatever you are, I never want to see you again.

But we are friends.

I am not friends with people– I mean… not people.

I don’t know what you are.

But I know what you’re not. You are not my friend.

[dramatic music]

[door slams]

I thought you were my friend.




I do not like this.

I don’t like this place anymore.

[loud whirring]

♪ It’s up in the morning, it’s on the downs ♪

♪ And the little white clouds like gambling lambs ♪

♪ And I am a breathless


♪ Over you

♪ And the red-breasted robin beats his wings ♪

♪ His throat, it trembles when he sings ♪

♪ For he is helpless


♪ Before you

So, I, uh…

I guess you’re my father.

[chuckles] Yeah.

If you ever touch Asta again, I’ll ——kill you.

Feel better?

Oh, D’arcy, what are you–

D’arcy, don’t! Ugh!

Son of a bi–


Oh! Oh, no, no, no, no, no!

♪ And still your heart

Oh, no!

♪ And still your face

♪ Comes shining through

Look out!

Look out! Out of the way!

[loud crash]


♪ And still your soul

Yeah. Yeah, I feel better.

Yeah, me too. [chuckles]

We–we should go now.

[both giggle]

[dramatic music]

[phone buttons beeping]


[line trilling]

Miss Twelvetrees?

Hey, it’s Max Hawthorne.

I need your help.

Harry’s here to kill everyone, and I think I know where he’s going.

[soft whirring]

[door closes]

Excuse me.

Are you the town doctor?

Yes, I am.

Oh, that is a nasty cut–

[suspenseful music]



Town doctor.

That kid was right.

He is the prettiest alien I’ve ever seen.

[chuckles nervously]

Yeah. Just be careful, all right?

We don’t know what this monster’s capable of.


[dramatic music]


[tires squealing]

[engines roaring]

[tires screeching]

Move, move. Let’s go.


What–what the hell is this?

Come on.

I knew you were real.


I-I got you your alien.

So now I’m officially done with her.


I’m sorry.

This woman is… an unhinged psychotic.


I agree completely.

Close it up!

Wait, are you–are you guys men in black?

Oh, would you stop it. They’re not called that.

You’ve watched too many movies.

And if I wanted them involved, I would’ve told my superiors.

And then we wouldn’t have an alien, would we?

Who’s we?

This is bigger than anything you could imagine.

Too bad you won’t be here to see how it all plays out.

Get rid of him.

I told you.

I have different orders.

Okay, um…

[laughter, indistinct chatter]

[scoffs] Kill ya later.

[engine turning over]

[breathing heavily]

[tires squealing]

See, I don’t get it.

I mean, first Sam, then this roving couple going around terrorizing people.

Don’t get me wrong, I like the mayhem.


I like it a lot.

I might like it a little too much, if that’s possible.

It is.

It’s quite frightening, actually.

Don’t forget the foot with the matching boot.


can it all really be just a coincidence?

I don’t believe in coincidence.

Oh, me neither.

So both the boot and the foot were found in the same area right by Dr. Vanderspeigle’s place.

Yeah, you mean the boot, the foot, and the doorknob.

That thing definitely didn’t come from no houseboat, that’s for sure.

Looks like we might have a new prime suspect.

Let’s go visit Dr. Vanderspeigle tomorrow morning, see if he’s got anything to add.

What is that?


Oh…my …d.

Is this a Nespresso?

It’s nothing, man.

I just picked that up for the office.

It was on sale.

Yes, yes!

Oh, my God, oh, my God!

You got me a coffee pod machine!

Oh, what are you doing?

I got that for the whole office.

What are you doing?


You got it for me, and you agree with my doorknob instincts.

You got decent doorknob instincts, all right?

But this whole thing is for everybody.

It ain’t just for you.


What are you doing?


You got it for me.

[suspenseful music]

[indistinct shouting]

[tires screeching]

[alarms blaring]

You in the vehicle!

Let me see your hands!

[blaring continues]

[loud whoosh]

[men grunting]

I have no choice now, since my device will destroy me.

I will fly away from here and drop the device onto this beautiful planet to finish the job I started.

[helicopter blades whirring outside]

[loud buzzing]


[vehicles approaching]

[tires squealing]

Go, go, go!

[men shouting]

Double up, double up!


[men shouting]


There’s more!


Hold it right there.

Oh, no.

I forgot the pizzas.

[tires squealing]

Maybe I can go back and get them.

I could take the ship and pick them up on my way to space.

I can’t because of this stupid mission.

I am so hungry.

They look like black ants.

Where is your queen?

Come on.


Get down.



[ship whirring]

[Five Stairsteps’ “O-o-h Child”]

♪ Ooh, child

♪ Things are gonna get easier ♪

♪ Ooh, child, things will get brighter ♪

♪ Ooh, child…

Run, Max! Hide!

♪ Ooh, child, things will get brighter ♪


I know why you’re here.

Don’t do it. Please don’t do it.

I must.

It’s why I came here.

I don’t care.

You’re not the same.

You’ve changed since you came here, since you killed that man.

I’ve seen it. I just saw it now.

You could’ve left, but you stayed to help us.

You’ve changed.


My mission is to kill everyone.

[dramatic music]

If you kill everyone, you kill me.

You are right, I have changed, but–

There’s my friend.

We are friends?


We are friends.

So, that means you will come with me to my planet and we will kill everyone on Earth together?

What? No.

I-I’m–I’m staying here.

Then I won’t kill everyone.


Okay, good.

I will miss you, friend.

I’ll miss you, too, friend.

[device speaks alien language]

I should dispose of my device.

It will kill everyone on Earth when it detonates in 80 seconds.

Oh, my God.

Yes. Go.



Real quick…

I left some pizzas in my freezer.

You can have them if you want them.

Thank you.



[ship whirring]

Everyone has to die eventually.

What matters are the choices you make while you’re alive.

Killing may make humans feel strong in the moment, but what I’ve begun to realize is, true strength comes from choosing not to kill.

Maybe being truly human is about choosing to love instead.

[bright music]

But with that love comes the pain that I feel inside me.

I need to go home.

Hopefully the further I get from them, the less I will care.

Finally, I will be at peace again.

[metal clanks]

[nervously] Hi.

You’re taking me home, right?

This is some bullshit!



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