Resident Alien – S01E01 – Pilot [Transcript]

An alien hiding in a small Colorado town meets the locals when they ask him to help solve a murder.
Resident Alien - S01E01 - Pilot

Based on the Dark Horse comic, Syfy’s Resident Alien is a murder mystery sci-fi dramedy that follows Harry, an alien played by Alan Tudyk (Rogue One, Firefly) that crash lands on Earth and passes himself off as a small-town human doctor. Arriving with a secret mission to kill all humans, Harry starts off living a simple life… but things get a bit rocky when he’s roped into solving a local murder and realizes he needs to assimilate into his new world. As he does so, he begins to wrestle with the moral dilemma of his mission and asking the big life questions like: “Are human beings worth saving?” and “Why do they fold their pizza before eating it?” Sara Tomko (Once Upon A Time), Corey Reynolds (The Closer), Alice Wetterlund (Silicon Valley) and Levi Fiehler (Mars) also star as the residents of Patience, Colorado.



Original air date: January 27, 2021

An alien spacecraft is struck by lightning and crash-lands near the rural town of Patience, Colorado. Its pilot, Hah Re, was on a mission to wipe out human life on Earth. Now stranded, he must blend in by assuming human form and the identity of a doctor, Harry Vanderspeigle. Harry is asked to examine the body of the town doctor, who recently died, and his odd behavior is off-putting but accepted. He even takes on the doctor’s job with help from his assistant Asta, but he learns his true identity can be seen by Max, Mayor Hawthorne’s young son.

* * *

[laidback rock music]

♪ ♪

Spring. The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, the sun warms the Earth. Somewhere. Not here. It’s 30 degrees out. It snowed 9 feet last winter, and four frozen sodas just exploded in my truck. Welcome to Patience, Colorado.

♪ Good morning, all day ♪

♪ When I seen you yesterday ♪

♪ I might lose my mind ♪

♪ But I never lose my way ♪

So this is the “doctor by the lake” everybody was talking about?

He’s owned the cabin since 2004. Comes and stays for a week at a time. Until last winter, he came late December, been here ever since.

Huh. What is he, retired or something? What does he do out here?

I think he’s fishing.

♪ ♪

I am in the middle of nowhere. A tiny town three hours from the nearest city on roads that are impassable half the year.


Nobody in their right mind would live in a place like this, unless they have something to hide.


[Brown Bird’s “Bilgewater”]

[laidback acoustic strumming]

♪ ♪

♪ Don’t matter if the cold wind blows ♪

♪ I’m gonna wind up working in the thick of it ♪

♪ Sunshine through the rain and snow ♪

♪ There’s an oily brine bilgewater ♪

♪ Baptism waiting below ♪

Excuse me, sir. You Dr. Harry Vanderspeigle?

Yes, that’s me.

Yeah, I’m Sheriff Mike Thompson. Everybody calls me Big Black.

Because of your truck?

Because of‐‐oh. Oh, you funny, huh? You funny? This here’s my deputy, Liv Baker.

You can just call me Liv.

Or Deputy‐‐Deputy Liv. [muttering] Stupid.

What can I help you with?

Well, we had ourselves a murder in town last night. You’re a doctor. We need you to come down and take a look at the body.

Isn’t there a town doctor who can help you out?

Yeah, well, see, that’s the thing. The victim is the town doctor… Doctor.


[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

When Neil Armstrong became the first human to step on their moon, he said he wasn’t chosen to be first. It was merely circumstance. Circumstance put him in the pilot seat on that mission, and circumstance pulled me from the pilot seat on mine.

[Four Months Ago]


When I first came to Earth, I didn’t expect to even set foot on the planet.

[wind howling] [ship whirs]

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

Circumstance. Stranded on an alien planet. In order to survive and complete my mission, I would have to somehow fit in with the human life forms.

[Joe Cocker’s “Feelin’ Alright” on radio]

[music stops]

[fire crackling]

[door bangs]

[wind howling]


[objects clatter]

Is there someone in here?


[floor creaks]

[alien chittering]


[growls gently]




[glass shatters]


[tense music]








[“Feelin’ Alright” by Joe Cocker]

[heavy footsteps]

♪ ♪

♪ You feelin’ alright? ♪

♪ Don’t get too lost in all I say ♪

♪ Till someone comes along and takes my place, yeah ♪

[alien shrieking]

♪ ♪


♪ ♪


♪ I’m feelin’ alright, uh‐huh… ♪


♪ ♪

I got news for you, Cosette. There’s no such thing as hooker‐client confidentiality.

[mimicking speech]

I got news for you, Cosette.

[muttering] I got news‐‐Cose…

[“Law and Order” dun‐dun]

I got news for you, Cosette.

I’ve got news for you, Cosette.

I got news for you, Cosette.

I’ve got news for you, Cosette.

I got news for you, Cosette.

I’ve got news for you, Cosette.

[dramatic music]

When my ship crashed, I lost precious cargo, a device I need to complete my mission. I have to find it before the snow melts, or someone else will.

[metal detector beeping]

♪ ♪

[overlapping chatter]

Put it in my truck. I’ll bring it back.

I’ve never been into town before. It’s just too risky.

[laughter, chatter]

Plus, they don’t have a pizza place and the internet said that parking was a nightmare.

♪ ♪

But here I am. My first real test. To say my species is more advanced than humans would be a massive understatement. If the universe had a scale for intelligence, humans would land right below lizards.

Well, we’re waiting.

Ah, hello, doctor. I’m Ben. I’m the mayor. Thanks for getting him, Mike.

I told you to call me Big Black.

Yeah. I’m not comfortable with that. Thank you so much for coming. Obviously, we had to close down the clinic, which has been a bit of a problem since the nearest hospital is over three hours away. The body is right down here.

[somber music]

♪ ♪


I’d say, from the smell, she’s been dead at least six hours.

What the mother hell?

You’re not dead.

Yeah, no shit. I was sleeping.

She’s not the dead doctor. He’s over there.


Asta’s the nurse. She’s the one who found him here this morning when she got to work.


I know this is hard for everyone. But a grief counselor is coming to speak to each and every one of us.

Oh, yeah. Good job, snowflake. Is that coming out of the town budget, or is he working for hugs?

Who are you?

I’m Harry Vanderspeigle. I’m a doctor. Mayor Snowflake had them bring me down to look at the dead body.

Please don’t call me that.

Isn’t that your name?

Pretty much.

Okay, all right. So this is Sam Hodges. He was the town doctor. Abigail was the doctor’s wife. She’s been out of town. Let me know when she calls.

You’ll know. I gave her your number.


Well, you’re the mayor. And I don’t know how to tell someone their husband died.

Yeah, give her my number. I’ll tell her he’s dead. I don’t give a shit.

Who was the last person to see him alive?

Me. I left him here alone probably around 9:00. When I came in this morning, he was…


I covered him with the sheet.

This… is… awesome.

What? What’s awesome?

A good mystery, figuring out what happened, like “Law and Order.” Clung‐clung! That was fun.


Yeah. I know who killed him.


He did. The angle of the wounds, the way the blood is on his hand. He murdered himself.

And why in the hell would he do that?

I don’t know. I wasn’t here.

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

All right, look, that’s one creepy son of a bitch, right? That ain’t just me, right? Y’all all see that, right?

Yeah, but it’s okay for people to be a little bit different sometimes.

Look at what he did. What was‐‐what’s a chung‐chung?

Can you not talk to me?

Wait. Please don’t tell me that you’re leaving.

Okay, I won’t.

Um… No, but we still need your help.

I was asked to come look at a dead body. I did that. Do you have more dead bodies?


Then I have to go.

Wait. You looked at the body for two seconds. Look, maybe you’re right. Maybe he killed himself. But if he didn’t, there is a killer out there, okay? We need to do an autopsy.

Do you mean cut into the body and pull out the organs autopsy?

Yeah. Yes, that kind. Yeah. The paths got snowed in last night, and the coroner won’t come until the roads clear. But lucky for us, the man who used to run the pathology lab at Rutgers lives in town.

Well, don’t call that guy. I’ll do the autopsy.

That guy is you, I… I looked you up. You ran the lab at Rutgers.

Of course I ran the lab. I knew that. I was making a joke. I’m a very funny person.


Okay, good. Okay, well, I got to go. But you’ve got this. Okay?

We’ll get one, right? Max?


Max? Max! Hey.

Let me in the car.

How is this possible? Only 1 in 1 million humans have the genetic mutation that enables them to see through our molecular reconstruction, yet somehow in a town of a thousand people there is a runny‐nosed kid who can see me in my true form? That means there are more people in this town who can see me as an alien than there are slices of pizza. Humans have a term for this: “Bad luck,” and “raw deal,” and “this is some bullshit.”

Why are you standing in here?

Because I’m assisting you with the autopsy.

No, you’re not. You’re still standing here.

Sam Hodges has been my doctor since I was a kid. And I’m not going anywhere until I know what happened to him.

Fine. You can stand there… and take notes.

Do I look like a stenographer?

Then why are you here?

‘Cause I don’t trust you. You said he killed himself, but he would never do that.

There are multiple cuts in the neck. The angle of all of them is consistent with the cuts coming from his own hand, the back of which was covered in blood but not the palm because it was clenched around the scalpel.

Sounds great. He didn’t kill himself.

I’m smarter than you.

What are you, 12?

Don’t feel bad.

It’s just a fact. Once you accept it, you will stop fighting me.

You want facts? Okay, I’ll give you two. Um… You’re kind of a dick.

That is just one.

Sam loved his life. And he would never kill himself. And if for some reason he did, he sure shit wouldn’t stab himself over and over again in the front of the neck.

Okay, you’re so smart. Where would be have stabbed himself?

Probably his carotid artery.

Hmm. He was a doctor. If he wanted to kill himself, he would have sliced his carotid. How did I miss that? I’m smarter than a lizard.

So you admit he was murdered?


Wait, did you just call me a lizard?

No. I compared you to a lizard.

Okay. We don’t have to talk while we do this.

[“Whatever It Takes” by The James Hunter Six]

♪ ♪

♪ Nail your colors to the mast ♪

♪ And have a little faith in me ♪

♪ I don’t give up so fast ♪

♪ If there’s one thing you can say for me ♪

♪ ♪

♪ We’re one step away ♪

♪ From a better day, however long the night ♪


♪ And whatever it takes ♪

♪ I’m gonna make everything all right ♪

♪ Baby, I’m gonna make everything all right ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa… ♪

Look, I know you really didn’t want to do this. So I just wanted to say that I appreciate you helping us. You‐‐you did a good job.

You just gave me a compliment.


[dramatic music]

You know, pandas are so stupid, sometimes they don’t even realize they’re pregnant. And when they give birth, they’re like, “What is this?” And then they kill their crying babies.


I compared you to a lizard before. But that’s not so bad. Pandas are really dumb.

Um, if that was you returning the compliment, you should try again.

I like your brown skin.

I guess I should quit while I’m ahead. I’m gonna go across the street to The 59 to get a drink if you want to come.

I have work to do.

The autopsy’s done. What work do you have to do at 8:00 at night?

I strangled and drowned a guy four months ago and I have to search the lake for his bloated corpse before some fisherman finds it.

Just stuff.

Suit yourself. Feel free to come by if you ever stop being a weirdo.

Weirdo? That’s not good.

Now I have to meet her over there and prove to her I fit in, that I’m normal like them. But first I’m going to cut Sam Hodges’ brain out of his head and squish it in my hands.

[bone saw whirring]

♪ ♪

This is amazing.

Who’s the weirdo now?

Hi. I’m Abigail Hodges. Sam’s wife. He’s not home. Is he here?

♪ ♪


[overlapping chatter]

She walked in? What did you do?

I put down the brain to shake her hand. She ran out. Her voice goes very loud.

Jesus! Sam’s first wife Rosy died years ago. She was like a mother to me. God knows I needed one.

[country music through speakers]

This is when you’re supposed to ask me about my childhood.

Why? I don’t care.

Nobody cares. That’s not the point. [chuckles] I left home when I was 16, then I married a biker in Denver. Jimmy and I split four months ago, which is the reason I’m buying you dinner.


‘Cause you have a pick‐up truck. And I was hoping you could take me tomorrow to get the rest of my things.

I’ll buy him dinner for less than that.

[chuckles] Hi, D’arcy. This is Harry. He’s a doctor, and he’s new in town. He’s been helping us out.

Ooh, doctor. Oh. Oh, shit, right, ’cause of Sam. I’m so sorry, Asta. They find out who did it yet?

Nope. Not yet.

Why are the walls covered in old mining equipment?

You are new, aren’t you? The 59!

[All] The 59!

Died to save one. Town motto. Maybe stick around long enough, you’ll find out what it means.

To The 59.

And to finding the bastard who killed Sam.

I’ll drink to that.



Wow. What is that?

That’s our local whiskey. It’s pretty great, right?

No. It’s awful.


Why do I want more?

That’s because you’re bad. You like being bad, which is great news because I like bad boys.


Is there more?


[“Starships” by Nicki Minaj]

♪ Let’s go to the beach, each ♪

Ting, ting, ting.

♪ Let’s go get a wave ♪

♪ They say, what they gonna say? ♪

♪ Have a drink, clink, found the Bud Light ♪

All right, man, you’re on.

♪ The Patrón, on, Let’s go get it on ♪

♪ The zone, on? Yes, I’m in the zone ♪

♪ Is it two, three? Leave a good tip ♪

♪ I’ma blow all of my money and don’t give two ♪

♪ I’m on the floor, floor I love to dance ♪

♪ So give me more, more till I can’t stand ♪

♪ Get on the floor, floor ♪

♪ Like it’s your last chance If you want more, more ♪

♪ Then here I am ♪

♪ Starships were meant to fly ♪

♪ Hands up and touch the sky ♪

♪ Can’t stop ’cause we’re so high ♪

♪ Let’s do this one more time ♪

♪ Starships were meant to fly ♪

♪ Hands up and touch the sky ♪

♪ Let’s do this one last time ♪

Yes! D’arc, D’arc!

♪ ♪

Harry, yeah!

Huh, huh, hah!

♪ We’re higher than a mother‐‐‐‐‐♪

♪ Hear you say ray, ray, ray ♪

♪ Now spend all your money ’cause today payday ♪

♪ And if you’re a G, you a G, G, G ♪

♪ My name is Onika, you can call me Nicki ♪

♪ Get on the floor, floor ♪

♪ Like it’s your last chance If you want more, more ♪

♪ Then here I am ♪

[All] Shot, shot, shot!

♪ Starships were meant to fly ♪

♪ Hands up and touch the sky ♪

♪ Can’t stop… ♪

Harry, Harry. No, no, no, no.

♪ Let’s do this one more time ♪

♪ Starships were meant to fly ♪

♪ Hands up and touch the sky ♪

♪ Let’s do this one last time ♪

♪ Can’t stop ♪

♪ We’re higher than a mother‐‐‐‐‐♪

You okay to drive home or you gonna dance home?

That would be fun but impractical.

Hey, pick me up at the clinic at 10:00?


Good night, Harry the Doctor.

[bicycle bell rings]

Harry the Doctor!

[eerie music]

It’s over. I just spent a whole day with them and I fit in perfectly. Nobody could tell I was different.

♪ ♪

Almost nobody.


♪ ♪

The answer’s simple. It’s nighttime. I’ll just break into that kid’s house and kill him. I’ll say one thing about whiskey, it’s allowing me to make smart, rational decisions.

♪ ♪

[distant dog barking]

[ominous music]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[window slams]


[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪


[muffled scream]

Do not make a sound. That’s good. Don’t worry. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m just going to kill you.


[extended scream]



Hey, what’s going on?

There’s an alien under the bed!


Let’s go, sweetie.

Come on, buddy. No more stories, okay?

It’s not a story!

Hey, Max, I can’t do it, okay? I can’t have another night with no sleep. Let’s go.


Max, you can sleep with us.

You don’t want to die!

We’re not gonna die, Max. I’m gonna give you the count of three. Get down.


There’s nothing under the bed. One, two‐‐

[Both] There you go.

I told you not to let him watch those movies.

I watched E. T. when I was his age.

[growls, grunts]

It’s all right. Come on.


[alarm clock blaring]




[metal detector beeping]

Whiskey, headache, nausea, severe dehydration.

[light dramatic music]

♪ ♪

Alcohol must not affect humans the way it does us. If it did, they obviously would never drink it.

♪ ♪

♪ Why don’t you love me like ♪

What the‐‐the hell are you doing?

I just thought we could listen to some music or something.

Music? Girl, I got your music right here.

[beatboxing and humming “Amazing Grace”]

♪ ♪

[Deputy Liv mouth trumpets]

[both humming and beatboxing]

[truck rumbling]

Shh, shh. Quiet. [siren blips]

[tires screech]

Hot damn! I thought I’d never see your face again after what you did last night.

You know about last night?

Yeah, I knew there was something off about you.

Sheriff thinks you took Sam’s body.

Yep, that’s right, amigro. Yeah, you’re getting that twitching, aren’t you, down in your taint? You know why? That’s your body’s way of telling you you’re guilty. Now why don’t you go and admit what your taint already knows. You took that doctor’s body, didn’t you? Didn’t you? Of course I took his body.


This ain’t right.

What was he supposed to do after the autopsy? Put Sam in the freezer next to the ice cubes?

I considered that, but I would have had to saw him in half.

Oh, you think this is funny, huh? You think this is funny? Ain’t you got no respect for the dead?

Of course I do.

Ms. Twelvetrees? I’m done with the intake forms.

Jay, this is Dr. Vanderspeigle. He’ll be helping us out.

Hi. You have a fly on your neck.

It’s a birthmark, douchebag.

Douche… bag.

Sorry, Jay is having a hard time with Sam’s murder. She helps us out at the clinic. There’s not a lot going on here for kids her age. Having her work at the clinic keeps her off the street.

What’s wrong with the street?


This town looks like a slice of Americana, but trust me, it has an underbelly. That’s why I help kids like Jay. This is it.

Are you coming?

Yes, in one minute.

“Douche… bag.”

“A small syringe for douching the vajeena.”

Images. What the hell?


Hey, you can just put that stuff in the box.

[foreboding music]

♪ ♪

Some people believe the buck symbolizes protection and rebirth.

Protection from what?


Thank you so much for helping me. You okay? You got it? All right, thank you.

What are you doing home?

So this is the new man?

There’s no new man. We work together at the clinic. I needed his truck.

Well, why don’t you take your truck and head home? Me and Asta got some catching up to do.

I don’t think that’s what she had in mind.

It’s what I had in mind.

Harry, just‐‐hey, just go. It’s fine. We have, actually, a lot to talk about, right? Right? And I’ll come get my things tomorrow. Okay?



Jesus Christ, Jimmy.

Who is this guy?

Let’s go.

[foreboding music]

♪ ♪

Keep driving. Of course she’s in danger. The guy had a skull on his arm with a snake coming out of its eye socket. But she’s not your problem. Your only problem is you’re no closer to completing the mission than you were four months ago, so get focused. No more stupid moves. Dammit!

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[engine revving]

I’ll bring someone home. How about that? You think that’s gonna be fun for me? You want to embarrass me like that?

[glass shatters] [Asta groans]

You know what the funny part is? I actually came here to forgive you. And I come home to that. Four months, I come home to that. Where are you going? Where do you think you’re going?

Get back. Hey.

I don’t want to talk to you.

This is the last time, you understand me? I told you if you did it again, this is what would happen. You’re making me look stupid.

No, you don’t need my help. Let go!


[tense music]


♪ ♪

Harry! Stop. Stop. You’re killing him. Harry, Harry, Harry. Hey, it’s not worth it. Okay? It’s not worth it.






[birds chirping]

[engine sputtering]

You gonna tell me how you did that?

Did what?

You just dragged a 220‐pound man through a wall.


Why did you want to come out here?

I’ve always been an outsider. Maybe that’s why I understand you.

What makes you think I’m an outsider?

‘Cause wherever you learned to do that stuff back there, it wasn’t around here.

[rousing music]

You’re just different.

♪ ♪

I know what that feels like. Sometimes just feeling human is alien to me.

Yeah, me too. Why would you marry that guy?

God knows I’ve asked myself that question for years. When I was 16, I got pregnant. Jimmy convinced me we were too young to raise a child, so I‐‐I gave the baby up for adoption.

♪ ♪

Whenever I got sad about it, he would remind me in his own special way that I did the right thing. I think I felt like, if I left him… I gave the baby up for nothing. One day, four months ago, I had enough. I got in my car and never went back.

♪ ♪

“The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want.

“He maketh me lie down in green pastures.

“He leadeth me beside the still waters.

“He restoreth my soul.

He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness.”

Why is everyone in town calling my phone thinking I’m the new town doctor?

Well, you know, everyone has the right to medical care. And as the mayor, it’s my job to do what’s best for the people of this town. And then that is to fight to make sure that they have a doctor. Also, I had a standing 4:00 therapy appointment on Tuesdays with Sam, so…

And now you want to talk to me instead?

Well, yeah, I love Kate so much, I just‐‐sometimes when we’re screwing, I don’t want to look her in the face.


Yeah. I’ll see you Tuesday. Okay.

“I walk through the valley of the dead…

I will fear no evil.”

I’m really glad you came. You’re kind of a breath of fresh air in this place.

“Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.”


“Thou preparest a table before me…”

Where are you going?

“In the presence of mine enemies.”

[whispering] Harry. Excuse me.

“Thou anointeth my head with oil…”

I’m so sorry. Excuse me.

“My cup runneth over.”

[people murmuring]

Oh, yeah. That ain’t weird at all.

I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. Hey, Harry.

What is he doing?

He really misses the doctor.

Harry, this is not the time or the place.

[sniffing] Has to be now. In an hour, he’ll be underground with the worms.

[crowd gasps]

Mm! So intense. I like it. But not for everybody.

Harry. I’m so sorry. Keep praying. I’m sorry.

“Unto thee, O Lord, do I lift up my soul.”

I know how he died.


His windpipe‐‐he needed air.


It’s the only thing that would explain what happened. He tried to give himself a tracheotomy.


He couldn’t do it in time.

Yeah. That makes sense, but I don’t get it. Why would his throat close up?

Because Sam Hodges was poisoned. And one of the people here is the murderer.


Humans are dangerous. My people have always known that.

[Four Months Ago]

My mission was simple: Drop my device onto their planet and head back home.

[electricity crackling]

I had no intentions of getting close to any of them.

Don’t you walk away from me!

Don’t tell me what to do!


[soft dramatic music]

♪ ♪

Come on! Asta, come on! I’m sorry.

♪ ♪


[mysterious music]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

I was taught that the biggest problem with the human race was their need for connection. We always saw that as a weakness. But now I realize it may be their greatest strength.

[detector beeping]

In 1884, the local mine caved in. When the miners escaped, they realized there was one man still trapped.

There’s still one in there.

59 men went back into the compromised mine, risking their own lives to save him.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

59 died to save one.

♪ ♪

[rapid beeping]

Maybe there’s something redeemable about the human race after all. Unfortunately for them, it’s too late. It’s only a matter of time before I find the rest of my device, and when I do, I can finally complete my mission and kill them all. Every single one of them.

Yeah, thanks, bye.

Hi, Harry.


You okay?


You have a patient in the exam room.

[“Trouble” by The New Respects]

♪ Trouble don’t you find no home by me ♪

♪ Trouble don’t you find no home by me ♪

♪ Oh, my Lord, if you’re listening ♪

♪ Tell them, go ahead and get gone ♪


Yeah. This is some bullshit.

[rock music]

♪ ♪


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