Qatar World Cup: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver | Transcript

John Oliver discusses the Qatar World Cup, the human rights violations happening in the sporting event’s host country, and what perfection really means to David Beckham.
Qatar World Cup: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver
Season 9 Episode 30
Aired on November 20, 2022

Main segment: 2022 FIFA World Cup controversies (“FIFA III”)
Other segments: Twitter under Elon Musk’s leadership, update on AI-generated art on Midjourney

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[Cheers and applause]

John: Welcome, welcome to Last Week Tonight I’m John Oliver thank you so much for joining us it has been a busy week from Trump announcing plans to ruin your thanksgiving at least one more time to Nancy Pelosi announcing she will step down from her leadership role in the House to Paris revealing its Olympic mascot which looks like it’s advertising a worldwide sporting event and more like a gynecologist spent too much on marketing. We are going to start with the ongoing chaos at Twitter, it’s been three weeks since it was taken over by Elon Musk a man who answers the question what if Willy Wonka benefited from apartheid the? [Laughter] going back to the start of his takeover, from day one trend it was a total mess.

He posted a video of him arriving at Twitter’s HQ. Let that sink and he told us. He announced comedy is now legal on Twitter.

John: Okay then. If comedy is now legal we probably need to reconvene the comedy supreme court to set a precedent about that particular violation of comedy mall right there. Many of the worst people on Twitter seem to take it as the brakes are now off, finding use of a racial slur spiking nearly 500%. Which is pretty shocking even for a website where a regular trending topic is sometimes just “The Jews.” 30,000 People tweeting about the Jews on a Thursday afternoon you do not want to click to find out why. He initially tried to set expectations low tweeting please note that Twitter will do lots of dumb things in the coming months, something he then elaborated on like this.

The intent is not to do dumb things, we aren’t aspirational lay dumb. We are aspirational he not dumb.

John: If you have to say we are not dumb in three slightly different ways in a row that doesn’t inspire confidence. It’s like someone going “I’m sober, I’m not drunk, I’m good to drive.” At the end of those three statements I’m not handing you the keys to anything. Also Twitter has always been a place where you should be aspirational lay dumb. If it ends up becoming somewhere you can’t tweet the baba duke throat game probably crazy and get a quarter a million likes I don’t know what to do with it anymore. Indeed they have done some very dumb things, a new program went live for the site charged $8 a month for blue checkmarks, used to verify companies actually are who they said they were. When Amtrak posted the actual tweet “trains.” You knew an expert was weighing in. And that selling that verification for $8 had predictable results.

I want to show you a few of the fake accounts that have popped up. Fake account for Nintendo, the video game company showed Mario there, the iconic figure giving the finger. It’s offensive, I guess.

John: I guess it is. Of Mario giving the finger apparently unacceptable but 500% increase in racism, what are you going to do? That doesn’t count, that was allowed, I checked. It wasn’t just Nintendo a fake verified Pepsi accounts tweeted Coke is better, American girl account tweeted Felicity owned slaves which makes you wonder what Felicity discovers the secret was really about and a fake verify Tesla account tweeted we will be offering 10,000 vehicles to the Ukrainian military, our cars are the most advanced explosive devices on the market. Clearly things are changing on Twitter right now. The site no longer seems to be adding explanations to trending topics, previously helped add context and help combat this information. Which is why R.I.P. Jimmy Fallon was tweeted with no further information which prompted Fallon himself to post can you fix this which prompted him to respond fix what? A very funny response. All of this is taking a real toll, major advertisers have pulled their advertising revenue including General Mills, GM, United Airlines, and Pfizer which is probably a smart move for them. We are about five seconds away from a fake Pfizer account tweeting the rumors are true or a fake general mills account tweeting at cheerios our cock rings for mice. As for working inside Twitter that is an absolute nightmare, Musk has gotten bitten of half the staff targeting any workers who have criticized him at one point engineers were asked to print out their recent code contributions so they could be evaluated which is not only how you would traditionally evaluate code, it’s also a security risk which is presumably why engineers were quickly told to shred their printouts. Some argue there was a method to this madness, others aren’t so sure.

You don’t fire half the people that work at a company unless you have a plan.

Yeah, I mean I don’t know. This guy sign some paperwork eight months ago that it became very clear he didn’t want to sign and later on spent seven months trying to renege on it. If he has a plan I would like to see it, it is not a publicly available one.

John: Right. It sure seems like Elon Musk doesn’t have a plan, he seems to be crowdsourcing advice with desperate tweets like “what should Twitter do next?” That’s when he’s not sharing memes, he captioned this rocks. This is what he spent $44 billion to do, to tweet this rock joke. We might need to make comedy illegal again. Not only have multiple labor lawsuits already been filed, Twitter has been operating under the consent decree from the FTC requiring special oversight after allegations of user data misuse but several key people responsible for that oversight are now gone. While his online persona has been a fun troll during an appearance on Monday you got the sense that the fund may have worn off for him.

I’m really working the absolute most amount I can work from morning until night seven days a week. This is not something I would recommend, frankly. Yeah. [Laughter] I don’t know what else to say.

John: Holy shit! That man is in every possible sense in a very dark place. The entire vibe of that video is “Wizard of Oz” suicide note. Who knows what is going to happen from here? He certainly doesn’t seem to he has decimated his staff and his product, he can try to sell what’s left of Twitter or he can continue functionally worse than before as a free-for-all digital clown town. The potential collapse of this site has been sad for the workers and those who have relied on it there is undeniably something a little satisfying about a guy who was so desperate to be perceived as cool and funny on the internet that he paid $44 billion to make it happen only to discover that he still somehow couldn’t afford it. Let that one sink in. And now, this.

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And now, people on tv have some thoughts on thanksgiving food.

The sides, everything else involved in thanksgiving. Football, friends, family — turkey? No.

I love all the other leftovers, just not the turkey. It smells really bad to me.

Turkey tastes like dirt, ham tastes like salted dirt.

I don’t like sweet potatoes.

I remember that.

I’ve heard recently that say white people thing.

I was going to say that but I didn’t want to be offensive.

Nobody eats all the green bean casserole when I make it.

I don’t like the feeling on the roof of my mouth.

The only thing my kid will eat are the biscuits he had thanksgiving food.

I tried to. I make really good green bean casserole too.

Apparently not! [Laughter]

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John: Moving on our main story tonight concerns the World Cup, it’s like the Super Bowl except the rest of the world actually gives a fuck. The World Cup is a big deal, a country qualifying for it is a huge celebration. Watch this Australian reporter when his nation to Peru on penalties to make it to the tournament.

We are through, we are through! How good is this? [Screaming] how are you feeling? [Laughter]

John: There is nothing not to love about that from the reporter holding out his microphone to amplify peoples joy shrieking to the guy kissing the camera to someone stealing his staff would sadly he never got back and the reason I know that is I have it now. It used to be your mom’s but now it’s all mine. The world cup got underway today and we have talked before about the organization behind it — fee for a cartel-like group of scumbags, assorted criminals who occasionally put on soccer matches. Fever has always been terrible which is what makes it a little hard who claims their event isn’t just about sport it’s a net positive for humanity.

This world cup tournament of peace and unity will be the one that brings the world together after some difficult times. We should never underestimate the unifying power that something so unique has.

John: That is some pretty grandiose talk coming from the start of what the fuck are those eyebrows, Charlie Brown? The truth is more complicated than that which is not to say I am not excited about the world cup because I am. It only happens every four years and I look forward to it the way people with leap year birthdays look forward to leap years with an enthusiasm somewhere between understandable and honestly kind of pathetic. This world cup is being hosted for the very first time in the middle east by the small nation of Qatar which is going all out turning it into a major branding event, signing a massive multimillion dollar agreement with David Beckham to be an ambassador for the country which presumably includes getting him to make more videos like this.

I think everyone knows how much I love food and the food culture is very exciting and qatar. I love to go to spice markets, I love to go to fish markets.

Everybody knows how much I love a taco.

We are now in this amazing place using the traditional spices.

I love writing I love a bike community.

I love being in the middle of nowhere and talking and eating, this is perfection for me.

John: By my count, David Beckham of the following. Food, food culture, spice markets, fish markets, a taco, bike culture, and being in the middle of nowhere eating and talking. They believe should have just kept taking him to places to see what they could get him to say what he loves her money.

I love public bathrooms, I love symmetries, everyone knows how much I love tombstones and grieving families. I love proctologist culture, this is perfection for me.

John: The next month is Qatar’s big month on the world stage hosting an event that expects to attract over a million spectators in person to a country just the size of Connecticut’s. As you may have heard underneath the pageantry and David Beckham doing bad Anthony Bourdain cosplay is a much darker story. Small signs of which have leaked out this week like in this moment from a Danish reporter. [Speaking non-English language]

We are live on Danish television. You invited the whole world to come here, why can’t we film? Is a public place.

You want to break the camera? Okay.

You’re threatening us by smashing the camera.

John: He was asked how would you describe working conditions for journalists in the Qatar and seconds later a bunch of golf cart dunes showed up to answer that question for him. Credit to this guy for being so excited to appear on Danish tv that he gave the camera a little wave before presumably smashing the shit out of it. Harassing journalists is the tip of the iceberg here, one that includes a host of human rights violations. Given all of that, tonight let’s talk about the Qatar World Cup and let’s start going back to the moment back in 2012 when the winner of the bid to host this tournament was announced by the former head of FIFA.

The winner to organize the 2022 FIFA World Cup is Qatar.

John: As a general rule I tried not to make fun of old men who don’t speak English as a first language but due to evil he is an exception but him saying two, 22 will always be funny to me. For reasons FIFA were fully aware of, Qatar was an unsound choice for a summer soccer tournament.

FIFA conducted its own objective analysis which found Qatar was an unsuitable place for the World Cup and a dangerous place to hold the World Cup. Summer temperatures would be a hazard to the health of players and the fans. They didn’t have the space for the stadium infrastructure that was required.

They would have to build 90 new stadiums, there wasn’t enough room for them so they would have to create a whole new city.

John: Qatar wasn’t a surprising choice it was logically inexplicable. It would be like at the Westminster Dog Show Award of the best in show title to the tortoise — nothing against that tortoise but not only should it not have won it should have been automatically disqualified. The first and most obvious problem is Qatar is notoriously scorching hot in the summer, that is why FIFA eventually move the World Cup to November but Qatar’s initial first pitch pretended heat wasn’t an issue promising they would build outdoor stadiums while scientists pitched ideas like a massive remote control artificial cloud they can move around to cover stadiums in shade. Which didn’t exist and wouldn’t solve your problem anyway. It’s the multimillion dollar equivalent of pulling down the car flap to keep the sun out of your eyes. You would be surprised to learn of the many accusations that they won their World Cup a bit through bribery with allegations including three officials who agreed to vote for Qatar did so in exchange for a million dollars each and I won’t say Qatar definitely got the World Cup through bribery and I won’t say they didn’t and I will say that they did. [Laughter] And while they denied there was any misconduct in their bid to the fact remains they were going to need to build and not just a bunch of new stadiums but also a new airport, metro system, roads and about a hundred new hotels. They had to build so much new infrastructure that even the World Cup’s mascot doesn’t seem to be able to believe what his country has just done.

The first thing I want to show you are the stadiums! The stadiums! It’s mind-blowing arenas designed by some of the best architects in the world. This is the same city, can you believe it didn’t exist ten years ago? Now it’s one of the cities hosting the World Cup.

John: I can’t believe that city wasn’t there ten years ago and it’s a bit alarming. If you dropped by an empty plot of land with a sign reading coming soon at TGI Friday’s and the very next day you saw the grand opening of it you would have some questions about how the fuck it happened that fast. According to one estimate the government has spent more than $300 billion on info structure projects and they can afford that. They have a lot of money thanks to their huge oil and natural gas reserves. What they don’t have a lot of his citizens. Nationals only number about 380,000. However the country has a population of nearly 3 million and that is because 90% of it consist of foreigners and migrant workers and its migrant workers who provide most of the manual labor there and those are the ones who had to build all the new infrastructure for this tournament which brings us to one of the major scandals.

Qatar recruited hundreds of thousands of workers mainly from India, Nepal, and Bangladesh new agencies in their home countries just to secure a job migrants had little choice but to pay recruitment fees of up to $4,000 before they left the country. Once they got to Qatar, they were already in debt and trapped in a system known in the Middle East.

The system can be a form of modern-day slavery and the features of it amount in some cases the forced labor.

John: All the new stadiums and infrastructure were essentially built through modern-day slavery. We should probably introduce a new collective noun, a gaggle of geese, a pod of whales, and atrocity of stadiums. It exists in some form in several countries in the Middle East. Workers come to switch jobs or leave the country without explicit condition of their employer, they literally have their passport taken away. Being so dependent on an employer means laborers have virtually no rights. A laborer from Nepal maintains he was underpaid and for doing work in brutal conditions. [Speaking non-English language]

I went to Qatar in 2019 on the 21st of March I started working at the stadium. It was very hot, got up to 52 degrees Celsius the first year I was there. I used to sweat in the exact way as if it was raining from the sky.

John: You know how hot 52 degrees Celsius is? Its 125 degrees Fahrenheit. If you build a stadium in that heat you should get to own it. That shouldn’t be stadium, that should be his fucking stadium and no one should be allowed inside it without saying that out loud. There’s something pretty fucked up without arguing it’s too hot for peak athletes to be outside for 90 minutes but it’s completely fine to build stadiums and that heat for hours a day and months on end. That’s not getting into the living conditions they were subjected to.

We drove outside the city to a place the government doesn’t want people to see — the sprawling labor camps were the workers are housed. Men were packed wall-to-wall, eight to a room. The heat was stifling. The kitchen filthy. The beds they told us infested with bedbugs. He lives here among 150 other men. They shared two bathrooms.

There is no shower here, know what to wash your body, where you wash your body? You wash your body in the toile toilet?

Hard to believe but in these camps it’s routine. At another camp of the toilets overflowed with sewage and two filthy kitchens were being shared by 600 men.

John: That is horrifying. No one should ever have to live like that — just wait until he finds out about this. Yeah, your tournament is built on human suffering, but he. You should know when that reporter talked to the head of one of the leading sports organizations, it didn’t go well.

You go yourself and investigate you will see them living in a very comfortable, healthy environment.

Comfortable and healthy?

A very healthy environment.

With all due respect we have gone to the camps.

You went yourself?

This week in Doha you have hundreds of thousands of men living in labor camps. Some of them packed into small rooms, eight men to a room like the one we saw. Ten men sharing a toilet, no showers, have you been to the labor camps yourself?

I’m not going to answer questions.

You don’t want to answer that.

Of course you don’t want to answer that.

We were told the interview was over.

John: Incredible. Nothing says workers live in a comfortable and healthy environment quite like leaving the room 30 seconds after you realize the person you’re talking to has seen that environment. Investigation found 500 migrant workers died in Qatar from 2102 max 2020. That number accounts for all migrant worker deaths in Qatar, not just those who worked on stadiums. The government’s preferred account said there had actually only been 37 deaths among laborers at World Cup of stadiums and only three were work-related to. If that number seems suspiciously low to you, it’s because it very much is. Their preferred account is conveniently limited to the small handful of work sites that were under the highest level of scrutiny and to exclude the hundreds of other World Cup related projects. What’s more, autopsies weren’t done on most of these workers with one investigation finding nearly 70% of deaths of Indian, Nepali, and Bangladeshi nationals were attributed to natural causes or cardiac arrest which feels vague because cardiac arrest just means their heart stopped which is literally how everybody dies. I can tell you with full confidence that his heart stopped is both how I and kid rock will die — that doesn’t mean our cardiac arrest will be caused by the same thing. One of our deaths will likely involve a lot of meth, a monster truck and a variety of illegal fireworks. And the other death will be kid rock’s. Qatar will argue they have made significant labor reforms it’s something the head of their World Cup efforts has proudly bragged about.

If we look at the actions the government has taken so far, laws implemented so far being applied as well. The Kafala system has been dismantled. Allowing workers to change employers and also at the same time there was the exit permit system.

They couldn’t leave without permission.

That has been dismantled as well.

John: Those sound great and to an extent that they are but they also have some major asterisks on them. Workers in Qatar have said they are still required to get permission from the current employer before they can move to a new job and have also experienced retaliation from their employers when they try to leave but also the reforms he’s bragging about only began to be implemented in 2018 when much of the hard work was already done. He is bragging about dismantling the Kafala system while sitting in a stadium built using it. The only way that pat on the back could have been more hypocritical as if he forced a migrant worker to do it for him and 120-degree heat. Incredibly it’s not just Qatar bragging about the progress that’s being made, FIFA has had the nerve to claim credit for it too.

All the changes that have happened in this country in terms of human rights and workers rights and so on, human rights — would not have happened or certainly not at the same speed without the project of the world cup.

John: That is one of a fucking claim because you cannot possibly argue FIFA deserves credit. There a valuation of Qatar’s bid had zero mentioned of human rights or demands for labor reforms. Think about it like this, if the country made no changes to its Kafala system and passed a law called the doubling down on slave labor act of 2019 you know what would have happened? The World Cup still would have kicked off in Qatar today, isn’t that right? If you agree. Him I fucking knew it, I knew you knew what was going on there. When FIFA awarded Qatar the World Cup there was only one way the stadiums were getting built and there’s only one group of people who were going to do it and they gave them the tournament anyway. That is not the only troubling thing they had to have known back then because let’s take a look at Qatar’s human rights situation. I recognize every country has human rights issues including this one. For more on that, see every other story this show has ever done. Qatar is in some ways next level. Women had very limited rights they need permission for their male guardians to marry, work in government jobs and travel abroad until certain ages also because sex outside of marriage is illegal, pregnant women have to present a marriage significant to receive prenatal care which I hesitate to tell you about just in case the Supreme Court is watching the show tonight and getting any new ideas. As for the LGBT community, sexual conduct between men is criminalized and can result in seven years in prison. FIFA was not unaware of this. He joked about it just days after Qatar was awarded the tournament when he was asked what advice he would give to gay fans who wanted to travel to Qatar this was his response.

I would say they should refrain from any sexual activities.

John: They say in comedy you can either punch up, punch down, or cosign oppressive governments for a quick laugh while looking like the penguin went to Wharton, we all know which option he just chose there. Get the Sepp Blatter a Netflix special it seems like he’s ready. Qatar has repeated everyone is welcome at this World Cup including gay fans. But as this gay man who was granted asylum side of the dangers he faced their points out even if it is the case for the next four weeks, it’s a hell of a blind eye to turn.

It’s like having a household with children that are domestically abused and now you’re going to have a fancy dinner party. People can come in, they can bring their kids, their kids can jump on the table and they can do everything they want — the children that live there are going to be in the basement, quiet, behaving and they can’t jump on the table like other kids that visited. Because they will be punished in that household for doing it. Now you know the children there are abused. So how are you showing up to the home?

John: Exactly. A Qatari government is engaging in horrendous behavior and we can’t gloss over that uncritically put it in the spotlight to. It’s an authoritarian regime, not Mel f*cking Gibson. Here’s a fun game, guess how many movies he’s been in this year — you’re wrong, it’s seven! This truly has been the year of Mel. The working conditions, the oppression of women or gay people was a deal breaker, in fact there authoritarian tendencies may actually have been a deal sweetener. FIFA has long had a soft spot for autocrats I’m not just saying that because I gave the the World Cup to Russia and 2018 or went ahead with one in Argentina in 1978 when it was run by a military dictatorship or even they held the second World Cup ever in Mussolini’s Italy in 1934. They have set themselves, FIFA’s secretary general once said I will say something which is crazy but less democracy is sometimes better for organizing a World Cup when you have a strong head of state, that is easier for us organizers. Even for a quote which is prefaced by “I will say something which is crazy.” That is fucking nuts! Authoritarians are good for FIFA and thief is good for authoritarians as this critic points out Russia’s World Cup four years ago was preceded by a lot of controversy and criticism but that’s not what people remember about it.

What we saw in the run up to 2018 was a lot of coverage of what was happening in Russia, a lot of coverage of rights abuses a lot of interest in that and a lot of engagement. I think what they noticed is how that vanished as soon as the first whistle blew. I think everyone became captivated by the football. The Qataris know if they can get to the first whistle they are over the line.

John: It’s true, such as the power of the World Cup. Memories of controversy are likely to be washed away once it begins and incidentally, what a VIP box to be a part of there. Quick tip for the president of FIFA if you’re good to make arguments about how your organization is a global force for good maybe try not to sit between Mohammad Bin Salman and Vladimir Putin. You are the filling in a real shit sandwich there. [Laughter] That first whistle has now been blown. Qatar played Ecuador in the opening game of the tournament earlier today, so what now? Workers hope some of the athletes participating can help shine a light on all the exploitation that went into this event.

My message — thousands of workers like me have worked on the stadium. We did not get our salary, our benefits. I hope if you talk about workers like us, maybe we will get what we are owed. I do not have much faith but still I have hope.

John: That hope is pretty moving, especially given all the reasons not to have any. I really hope Messi hears that message, given though he plays Paris St. Germain a team owned by the state investment fund of Qatar at one hold your breath waiting for him to criticize them, people don’t openly shit on their employers unless of course it’s Warner Bros.-Discovery, they are to busily canceling shows the notice. Some players to their credit have been speaking out to. Harry Kane and other team captains have said they will wear one love armband and organizations from Australians national team to the international players union have issued statements condemning treatment of workers, women, and gay people. It’s not the players who are responsible for this mess, it’s FIFA. They put the World Cup in Qatar and everything that has happened since then has been a complete disgrace. I’m not saying you shouldn’t watch this World Cup or be excited about it. As tough as this is to admit, I will be watching. One of my greatest joys is sitting completely alone in my living room and cheering on England until they are inevitably knocked out in the quarterfinals on penalties. Let’s try to make sure a line is drawn here. In a few weeks’ time, the World Cup will be over. The final whistle will be blown on December 18th in the stadium that he built in a city that didn’t exist ten years ago and FIFA will happily move on. They will point to new human rights policies they have now adopted, we’ll see how truly committed to those they really are especially one of the suitors to host the 2030 cup is rumored to be Saudi Arabia which also uses the Kafala system that has a worse human rights record then Qatar. There is no reason to believe FIFA will ever do the right thing but I would love it if it could for just once in its shitty history find a way to hold itself to the lofty ideals that it has the gall to profess. I would love that as much as I love the World Cup itself and may be, just, even as much as David Beckham loves a taco. Because that would be perfection for me. And now, this.

* * *

And now, people on tv interrogate the important question. Do you say pecan or pecan?

It’s pecan. I will trust a southerner on this one.

You don’t like pecan pie?

It’s pecan.

I’m glad you say pecan.

We have toasted pecans.

I say pecan.

Five end.

What else —

I say pecan.

Of course you don’t know what to say.

Who wants to eat something called the pecan?

It’s not a urinary device.

They are both delicious, I don’t care.

I say thanks so much, now one of our good friends —

* * *

John: Moving on. Before we go, this is our final show of the year and frankly it has been a turbulent one from Britain having its shortest and weirdest serving prime minister ever to Roe v. Wade being overturned, to Russia’s war in Ukraine which lest we forget began back in February with the haunting sound of air raid sirens and was covered on CNN with this jarring moment. [Sirens] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

Get five boneless wings for $1 with any handcrafted burger only at Applebee’s.

John: The point is it has been a very weird year. Thankfully we did manage to have some fun. We produced a Subway sandwich Korean drama, we sent a polar bear to bet on an ice melting contest in Alaska, we blackmailed Congress with information we very much have and Nick Offerman blew up a trash can to make a point about elections. Our weirdest moment came when we discussed AI image generators because you may remember we learned people made a surprisingly large number of images of me with this generator alone featuring around 500 of them. We stumbled on a whole sequence of images that involved me falling in love with the cabbage and marrying it. Something we recreate it in person with Steve Buscemi presiding as the wedding officiant to. I married a cabbage this year and it was a beautiful day. I have a quick update because we checked that the generator see if more images will be made of me and it turns out that they very much have. A search for my name on there currently returns over 15,000 results. Let me be very clear, this has to stop. This shit is getting out of hand. Some users are continuing to speculate on my romantic exploits with images like John Oliver is now dating a carrot, while others have moved on like this one starting with the prompt two raccoons conducting an interview of John Oliver which produced this result. Kudos with going with my point of view in that situation. It seemed to be setting a new story in motion it begins with this prompt. John Oliver Yoon John Oliver Euna cycling towards a very steep mountainous hill which prompted this almost serene set of images. There was a development because the next images while unicycle line up a very steep mountainous hill, he realizes he can’t unicycle, doesn’t ever want to and not only is he afraid of heights, he literally has a crippling fear of unicycles as he tumbles down the hill in agony he says his trademark catchphrase “why do unicycles exist?” Which to be fair is a thing I say all the time to go there are a few images of a post-unicycle accident in the hospital until finally they type in the prompt after recovering from his unicycle accident he returns to his show what he does one of those wild John Oliver has HBO money stunts, I guess he ties together a hundred unicycles and pairs of two because that’s what nature intended to. Then there are like 50 clowns on stage writing the dangerous John Oliver by unicycles then he’s like that’s our show, see you next week. Picture in your mind right now what a spectacular image would be generated by the description of that. Do you have that image in your mind? Goods because this is the image the AI produced. Very cleverly focusing on the see you next week part of that prompt. Look how happy I look there! It is such a shame because the concept of chaotic clowns wobbling around dangerously on unicycles actually felt like a pretty decent metaphor that the year we just went through. It’s messy, idiotic, a little bit scary and it feels like someone didn’t fully think it through. It’s frustrating not being able to see that image for ourselves, isn’t it? … Is something someone might say if they didn’t have access to our production budget. To close out our season, here it is! A physical manifestation of the last year! Look at all these fucking clown clowns! Look at them, look at this other atrocity. Thank you so much for watching our show this year. We really appreciate it, thanks to our staff — stop honking. Thanks to our staff for working so hard to. Him I don’t like this at all this was a huge mistake.

We will be back next February, please stay safe until then. Say it with me, why do unicycles exist? Classic phrase. Him see you year, good night!

♪ ♪


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