Grey’s Anatomy – S17E09 – In My Life [Transcript]

After a heart-wrenching loss, Teddy struggles to cope and it triggers memories of her past; Amelia tries to help the situation by encouraging Owen to accept and forgive Teddy.
Grey's Anatomy - S17E09 - In My Life

Air date: March 25, 2021

* * *

MEREDITH: The day you discharge a patient who nearly died is a very good day.

It has never, ever been about me!

I do love you!

I want you.

Say it.

I love you, too.

We’re done.



KORACICK: I’ll be in my car.

Lot B, 7:00.

You say your goodbyes.

You wish them luck.

We can’t do this.

And you hope like hell you never see them again.

REPORTER: Here at the Trade Center, we are getting reports that a part of the tower has collapsed.

MEREDITH: Because when a patient does return, there’s a very good chance you screwed up.


TEDDY: I have loved you when I was coupled up.

I have loved you when I was single.

I have loved you every second of every day.


I love you. I’m in love with you.

I’m in love with Cristina.

And then you’ll be looking back to find what you missed, replaying every moment to find the one thing you could have done differently.


And if you’re like me, you’ll obsess over finding that mistake.


I’ll make pancakes.




Until it drives you out of your mind.

BABY ALLISON: Mama, I can’t…


Everything’s okay.

Okay? You want some more?



Look at me.

Mama’s okay.


I want Mama.

I know.






It’s the, uh…

It’s the raspberry jam you like, from the farmer’s market.

[DISTORTED] Teddy, you should really eat.

Even if you’re not hungry.


[NORMAL VOICE] So, Meredith’s stable.

Not off the vent but stable.

Webber says he wants to try and wean her off the vent in a couple days, so…






Mom sent me a video of Leo.

[DISTORTED] They made up this new game where…

Where she pre… she pretends to wrap him in pillows and he pretends like he’s sleeping on a cloud.

It’s [CHUCKLES]… It’s really adorable.





Hey. Hey.

Thank you.

Is this really necessary?

You can’t get her to drink a sip of water?


Do you want me to try?

I’ve been tested. I’m negative.

Me too but it’s not a good time.

Allison’s napping.

But thank you for the fluids and I’ll keep you updated, okay?


Let me try.

Let me try to help.










Hey, Altman.

Is everything okay?


Sorry. Um, aren’t I supposed to be here?

I don’t know.

How long have you been off the vent?

I was on a vent?

DELUCA: Coming through.

Excuse me.



WOMAN: Help!

Help! Help!

DeLuca, what is wrong with you? Get me out of here!

Do something!


We’ve been seeing this a lot in patients lately, but trust me, she’s gone.



Oh! How do people breathe in these things?

Okay, I’m good.

So, you ready to start?

Start what?

The incision.


You said you could save her life.

Save who?







[WHISPERING] I don’t know what to do.














Allison, wait!



Any luck?




If something doesn’t change soon, I’m gonna have to have her admitted.

Owen, she’s overworked, she’s overtired, she just lost DeLuca.

I mean, she probably just needs some more rest.

She hasn’t spoken, she hasn’t eaten, she hasn’t so much as acknowledged her own daughter.

Amelia, the only other time I’ve seen that kind of look, it’s in soldiers.

And plenty of them never came back.


OWEN: Teddy, Amelia brought fluids.

You will feel so much better once you are hydrated.








Allison, don’t leave!

KORACICK: Don’t throw your life away, Teddy.


Tonight, I’ll be in my car.

Lot B, 7:00.



Not to tell you how to live your life, but shouldn’t you be getting married right now?

Owen’s not there.

You’re thinking of running.

Amelia did the same thing the night she married Owen.

Poor bastard.

It would have been better. For everyone.

I think your problems go back a lot further than tonight.


I have to try, don’t I?


You breaking stuff?

[SIGHS] It’s a bed for Leo.

I can’t make sense of these instructions.

I think they’re in Danish or something.

Two heads are better than one?

Amelia, you don’t have to stay.

I know.


[GRUNTS] This and…

Pick up the bottom part.




MAN ON RADIO: And I’m being told we have some breaking news…

The daily body count of COVID patients could exceed that of 9/11 in the upcoming mon…


♪ Fini la musique, la foule défile ♪

I’m not a Vegas guy.

I’m not a Vegas guy.


Feeling any different?

We hurt Owen.

No, you… You hurt Owen.

I’m just the guy driving the getaway car.

He’ll be hurt, but we…

We always come back to being friends.

Speaking of, should you maybe make a phone call?


♪ Quand la gloire se fanait? ♪


♪ Les bravos se taisaient? ♪

It can wait.

♪ Ou, ou étais-tu ♪

Tonight’s about us.

This should be fun. [CHUCKLES]


♪ Quand le silence s’approchait? ♪



What time is it? Mm.


We have all the time in the world.

Have I ever told you what excellent room service I make?

If I could choose one meal for the rest of my life,

it would be this.

Pancakes and champagne.


Oh, my God!

I choose this and you.




Owen’s gone.

What do you… What do you mean he’s gone?

Apparently he took the kids and got on a plane.

Got on a plane to where?

Here we go again, eenie meenie miny snooze.

[FAKE SNORES] You think this is funny?

But my family is gone.

What? Your family?

Or Owen?

I can’t live without him.

Oh, which makes me the gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe?

I didn’t think that he would actually leave.

Yeah. He left. Owen Hunt is a man.

He doesn’t sit around and wait while you play games and choose other people and have babies with them.

What did you expect?

Owen, you aren’t thinking.

Come back. Please.

Yeah. That should do it.

You ruined my life.

I ruined my life.

You ruined my life.

Teddy, Teddy, Teddy, please.

I love you.

TEDDY: I don’t want you to love me.

I love Owen and I-I love my kids and I love my family, and I… I don’t… I don’t want you to love me and I don’t want this life!

KORACICK: Wait! Wait.

We’ll work this out.

Don’t ruin your life.

Run away with me.

I’ll be in my car.


Tom, this never should have happened.

Save yourself.



Wait. I didn’t mean to…


You know, personally, I never got what you saw in that guy.

But I-I didn’t want to hurt him.

Well, maybe skip the grenade next time?

You’re always blowing things up.


No. No.

OWEN: [ECHOING] Amelia and I are done.

There’s nothing standing in our way.


You can’t just tell me when to go and when to stay!

I don’t want you here anymore!




Yeah, the snow wasn’t for the soldiers.

It was for you.

I’m done, Owen.


We’re done.


DELUCA: Owen flew halfway across the planet and you just kicked him out.

Well, Meredith was right. I need to go back further.

Pretty sure this is not what she meant by that.

But if we are re-writing history, maybe you could, uh, not kill me this time?

I’m so sorry.

But if I never meet you, I can’t hurt you.

Owen, wait!









Oh, I got to go to work.

New boss is a real nutcracker.


Stop it.


Teddy, there’s something I need to tell you.

You can tell me anything.

I love living with you.

I love working with you but…

but it’s not enough.

Wait, what?

I want to marry you.

Right here.

Right here, in bed?

Mm, I’d be happy to go with living room.





Wait, what is it? [SIGHS]

I just… I don’t know.

I don’t want there to be any secrets between us.


So, Allison.



She wasn’t… She wasn’t just my friend.

She was…

She was the love of my life.

Wait, New York Allison?



Owen, I… I… I’m…


I’m so sorry.

I’m so sorry that you lost her.


Me too.

Hey, I want to take all that pain and…

[SIGHS] I can’t erase it but I can spend every day trying.

Please, marry me.



Alright, okay. You look great.

Do you, Theodora Grace Altman, take…


Text message, sorry.

Do you, Theodora Grace Altman, take…


Could you…

Yeah, of course.


“Yay wedding, yay joy.



We good?

Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?


Okay, sorry.




“Happy you’re so happy.” [CHUCKLES]

As in your ex-fiancée Beth?


I didn’t… I didn’t know that you still talked to Beth.

Why are you saying it like that? “Beth.” What’s…?

Well, I-I just didn’t think that you still talked to her.

Yeah. Mondays at 11:00, but we had to change it today ’cause she had her parent/teacher conference, but look. She’s so happy for us.

The wedding we all dream of…


Stop it!

[CHUCKLING] Oh, my God, oh, my God.


Cristina’s bought us tickets to Switzerland as our wedding present.


We can… We can go stay with her and maybe teach a trauma class at her hospital.

Owen, put your phone away.

Yeah, anything for you.


Okay, as I was saying…



Hey, I’m home.

OWEN: So, uh, Leo will do Thanksgiving with me, and Christmas with you…?


I didn’t know we had bone china.

Are you really sure?

You, me, Teddy, our kids, all of us, together?



[LAUGHS] You’re amazing, Amelia.


Hey. So, come, sit, sit.

Come on.

So, uh…

You were… You were talking to Amelia?

Yeah, we talk every day.

She is bringing Leo here so we can have the holidays all together.

You don’t think that’s something that you should’ve asked?

It’s true love, Teddy.

You really want to ask permission?

True… You love her?

How can you not love Amelia?

It’s Amelia.

So she comes first?

No, no, God, no.

Cristina comes first.


But you… You married me.

You… You chose me.

Oh, this is good.


It’s not your fault that you don’t know how to love.

What did you just say to me?

I said I love you.


And pass the gravy. But I also love you.

This… This doesn’t feel right.

Because it’s not. The only reason that I came here, the only reason that we have a baby together is because of Amelia.


You know what?

We really should be thanking her.

Do you want to call her back or should I?

Get out of my house.

You know, you say that a lot, but you never really mean it.

That’s why I keep coming back. It’s sort of our thing.

I don’t want it to be our thing.

Well, then the only alternative is you realize one of these days…

One of these days what?



Ah, yes.

You’ll burn yourself.

I’ve got it, Amelia. [CHUCKLES]

Teddy. It’s Teddy.

What’s wrong with Teddy?

You keep looking past me, like you always do.

Even though I’m right here.

Yeah, I’m done.

I’m done. I am done waiting for you and feeling like this every time. I’m done.


I know, right?

I love Teddy.

But… she’s no you, Amelia.




It’s your favorite.


So you guys haven’t talked since…

Since she humiliated me at work and destroyed our family? No.

I was gonna say since you brought her home.

I just want to make sure that she’s okay, and I’m gonna head back to the hotel.


Amelia, I don’t want to talk to her because every time I do, it just makes me angrier.

Okay? And I’m exhausted by it.

So I’m done.

Can you pass me the side part, please?

What about therapy?

I go to therapy.

With Teddy?

I don’t need to pay some stranger to sit there and listen to Teddy lie to me.

Would you cut her some slack? She just lost DeLuca.

We all lost DeLuca.

I was standing right across from her the day that he died.

But we don’t all have the luxury of just shutting down completely.


I want her to be well.

Obviously I do.

[SIGHS] You know, Leo’s been asking to see his Mama all day and I had to lie to him and say that she’s working because I don’t want him to see her like this.

He needs her, you know?

Allison needs her. But honestly…

Honestly, I don’t.


All she’s ever done is lie to me.

That’s all she’s ever done.

She didn’t tell me she was pregnant for months, she cheated on me for weeks before our wedding night, and…

[EXHALES SHARPLY] And you remember Allison?

Teddy’s best friend who died?

The one we named our daughter after?

Well, it turns out that she’s not just her best friend.

She’s the love of Teddy’s life.

And she didn’t mention it to me once in all the decades that we’ve known each other.

Not once.

She just mentioned it as some kind of excuse for all the horrible things that she’s done.

And there’s nothing I can do about it and talking doesn’t help.


So can we please just build this bed?





I’m never gonna be enough for you.

You sound ridiculous.



TEDDY: More lap pads.

So much bleeding.




ALLISON: [ECHOING] I’ll make pancakes.



Turn that monitor off!




It’s not gonna make any difference.

Did you always love her?


Can we talk about this somewhere else?

Teddy, this OR is very familiar with your private life.

Was it love at first sight?


I was always drawn to her.

She was the most alive person I’ve ever known.

She was good.

And she was kind.


ALLISON: 9-1-1!

He was stuck in a bush by the bike path.

I think he broke his leg.

Allison, what? No, you’re gonna get psittacosis.

First off, that sounds fake.

And second, don’t you have a medical kit in your bag?!

Okay, okay.


Both my parents died that same year.

She carried me through that.

Yeah, that’s my mom.




I will. I will talk to her again.

Thank you.


That was the maintenance manager at your mom’s building again.

Teddy, you’re gonna have to go through your mom’s stuff or they’re gonna auction it off or… or throw it away.

I would do it for you, but I-I don’t know what to keep.

We played Scrabble.

You mean when you were a kid?

Yes, but also when my dad was dying.

We played for almost…

Almost a year.

He was sick, so we would put the board out on the bed, and…

And me and my dad and my mom.

We played every weekend.

[CHUCKLES] My dad always won.

Until he started to lose.

When he started to lose…

We had time.

We had time to…

To say goodbye? But we didn’t say goodbye.

We cheated so that he could win until he couldn’t play anymore.

And then my mom and I, we just…

Uh, we put the board away.

But even with… With all that time… it just… it… It was unimaginable that he could leave us.

He would never… He would… He would never leave us.

I always wanted a pet.

You mean after he… He died?

No, when I was young.

I wanted a pet, and my dad said no.

He said, “When you get a pet, best-case scenario is that you love that pet with all your heart and then it leaves you ’cause, you know, life span.

So for sure a pet means heartbreak.”

He just… I… I guess he just wanted to protect me.

But he wouldn’t even let me get a gerbil because he didn’t want me to suffer and then he just up and dies at age 58.

But at least we got to play Scrabble.

My mom just…

You can’t pack up her stuff because that would mean she died.

And she can’t have died because she was too young.

And she wasn’t even sick.

And there wasn’t even time for another game.

Okay, I get it.

But I’m gonna need the keys to your mom’s place.


Teddy, I am not letting them throw away that Scrabble board.


And I’m not letting them throw away your photo albums.

And I bet your mom wore perfume and I’m gonna go over there and I’m gonna find it and I’m gonna get one of her scarves because you are in shock right now, but one day you’re gonna want some of the stuff that reminds you how loved you were.

You’re gonna want some of the stuff that came from the people who loved you too much to let you get a gerbil.

The people who made you you.

Wonderful, wonderful you.



I’m sorry. I’m… I’m sorry, but I’m not sorry.


I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.


Just fell in love with Allison.

So what did you do?


I killed her.

ALLISON: [ECHOING] I’ll make pancakes.

I’ll make pancakes.


I have to go to work.


I should have said yes.

Teddy, you couldn’t have known.

I wanted to say yes.

I wanted more than anything in the world but to stay in that room with her forever.

If I had just said yes…

She’d still be here.

Maybe you’d still be here.


I forgive you.


But you are.

You are still here.

But I’m not.

But you are.

Which means…


What if it’s not too late?

What if it can change?


It’s not too late.


ALLISON: [ECHOING] Teddy, are you okay?


You’re having a nightmare.


I’ll make pancakes.




[SIGHS] She barely naps for more than 30 minutes.

I swear she doesn’t know me since she moved in with my mom.


You need to forgive Teddy.

So you think that if I tell her that she’s forgiven it’ll bring her out of this? I mean, I can try but…

No. No. I am not saying you need go in there and pretend.

I’m saying…

Owen, I-I know that Teddy hurt you badly, and nothing about what she did with Tom is okay.


Owen, she’s Teddy.

You have loved her in some form for decades.

And just the fact that she was in love with Allison…

It’s not the fact that she was in love with her.

It’s the fact that she lied.

Okay? And she lied relentlessly.

For decades.

She said that she’s not over her.

So not only did she cheat on me with Tom Koracick, she’s been in love with someone else our entire relationship.

It’s despicable and she doesn’t deserve my forgiveness.

Despicable? What is wrong with you?

What is wrong with you?

You’re taking her side.

You’re pissed because she has a Cristina, and you don’t like it. Why can’t Teddy be allowed to love more than one person when you have?

I never lied about having past relationships, okay?

She did.

Ask yourself why, Owen!

She probably had PTSD from losing the love of her life in a horrific tragedy.

You of all people should understand that.

Then why didn’t she just tell me that?

Do you walk around telling everyone about how you strangled Cristina?



I think you should leave.


Owen, her trauma response is different than yours.

You don’t get to just casually throw in my face the worst thing that I ever did in my life, okay?

I did not do it casually.

No part of you ever, ever thought that you were capable of choking someone that you loved but you did it.

I was asleep, okay?

I-I had PTSD…

So does she, Owen.

So does she!

Sometimes traumatized people lie.

They lie to you.

They lie to themselves.

That does not mean that everything is a lie.

When you were hurting, you hurt other people.

When I was hurting, I hurt other people.

But we both got help. Teddy needs help.




I’ll go check on her.







♪ Eg veit pú kemur í kvold til mín ♪

Ugh, why do we even have jobs?

Doing nothing is so much better.

[LAUGHS] It is.

♪ Pótt kveojan vaeri stutt í gaer ♪


I want to tell Claire the truth.

She’ll hate me.

And I’ll hate that.

But she deserves the truth.

I know. I know she does.

I just… I don’t want to hurt her.

Life comes with pain though, Teddy.

Life comes with pain.

Not today.

Today doesn’t come with pain.

Not for us.

Not this time.

♪ Sko áour en pú veist, pú veist ♪

Your dad… he should’ve let you have the gerbil.





We’ve got somewhere to be?

No, no, no, no.

I just… I never want this moment to end.






Something’s going on.

Uh, we-we’re okay.

No, but something’s wrong.

I know, but… but we’re okay.

You’re with me.

You know what?

You’re right. Let’s tell Claire.

She deserves to know the truth.

She’ll hate me because losing you is the worst thing in the world.

But she won’t hate you. I promise she won’t hate you.

Because, Allison, it’s impossible to do anything but love you.


What do you think?


I smell smoke.

Do you smell smoke?

No, no, no, no, you’re with me.

You’re safe.


I can’t breathe.


Allison, don’t leave me.

No, please don’t leave me.


Don’t leave me, Allison.

Come on!


Come on, Allison.


Please don’t leave me, Allison!





Charge to 200. Clear!



300! Clear!



Teddy, I’m sorry.

This is over.

Time of death, September 11, 2001, 9:59 a.m.


TEDDY: It’s all my fault. It’s all my fault.


AMELIA: I just got her back down.

I think she knows there’s something going on with her mom, so she’s just off.


I know you want me to leave.

But I am here because I love you and I want to help you.

You know, it almost would’ve been easier if she’d just run away with Koracick.

You know?

You ever think about doing that?

Just getting in the car and driving away?

A feeling of being free from all responsibilities, even just for a second… no kids, no [CHUCKLES] messy relationships, no dying patients…

If you’d have asked me that six months ago, I would have said no, but now… of course I do.

[SIGHS] I don’t know how to describe it.

It’s like…

[SIGHS] It’s like there’s this… blanket on top of me.

Like a wet, heavy blanket of just… fatigue.



When I get that blanket feeling?

It’s because I’m defending against having to feel anger, rage, hurt.

She hurt you.

You’re hurt.


Well, it’s easier to just feel numb.

You don’t have to go back to her.

But you cannot afford to spend every day hating her.

It’s too hard.

That blanket will never lift.


I don’t know. W-What do I do?

In NA, we pray for the people we resent.

It’s the worst.


I always hate it.

We pray for them to get well.

Uh, for them to find happiness, get all of the things that we would want for ourselves.

And we do it every day, for weeks.

And I don’t know why it works but it does.

The resentment lifts and forgiveness sets in.

Then you coparent.

And maybe eventually… something can be rebuilt.


I don’t think I can do that.


You can do it.

You’ve done it before.

You did it with me.



TEDDY: [ECHOING] It’s all my fault.

All of this is your fault?

Yes! My parents, Allison, Henry, DeLuca…

Don’t say me. I’m still here.

I couldn’t save them. I should have saved them!

No. Even I know that they couldn’t be saved.

[ECHOING] I don’t know what happened with your parents, but Allison and DeLuca were tragic casualties of circumstances you had no power to control.

And Henry… Henry was already dying when you married him.

I love Owen.

You run from pain.

Your parents died and you ran to Allison.

Allison died, and you joined the Army and ran to Owen.

Owen chose Cristina, you dove into Henry.

This isn’t fair.

And then Owen is with Amelia, and you used Koracick.

Please stop. Stop it.

MEREDITH: You run from pain, Teddy.

Stop it.

We all do it.

Something terrible happens, we blame ourselves and we don’t want to feel it so we run.

[ECHOING] We run from joy too because we think we don’t deserve happiness.

But it’s a package deal.

There is no joy without pain.


Come on, Teddy. Let’s leave this place.


Please don’t die.

I’ll do my best.




MEREDITH: There’s a problem with trying to understand every mistake you’ve made… you can’t.



And trying to robs you of your life, your plans, your future.

♪ Blá nótt yfir himininn ♪

Plus, you can’t really learn from your mistakes if you stop moving forward.

♪ Blá nótt yfir mér ♪

You sure you don’t want me to stay?

[SIGHS] Probably a stupid question.

Just call me if you need me.


Hey, thank you.

For everything. I mean it.

I know you do.

Oh, and especially thank you for helping with that bed.

I’m gonna share credit with Leo.

Alright, just don’t break it if you get mad.

I’m not gonna… Okay, yeah.



♪ Starir á mig ♪

It’s scary. It’s uncertain.

♪ Lítill álfur ♪

But you’ll find something pretty special there…

Shh. Shh.

♪ Breytir mér í ♪

I’m here.

I’m here.

♪ En hreyfist ekki ♪

♪ Ur stao… sjálfur ♪

I’m here.




♪ Starálfur ♪


Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Read More

Weekly Magazine

Get the best articles once a week directly to your inbox!