The Fall of the House of Usher is a gothic horror drama miniseries created by Mike Flanagan. Loosely based on the short story of the same name and other works by Edgar Allan Poe.
Original release date: October 12, 2023
In a flashback, Roderick and Dupin seek Fortunato files to expose Griswold despite Annabel’s concerns. In the present, Tamerlane faces stress, insomnia, and the fallout from her breakup with Bill as she prepares to launch her wellness package Goldbug. Madeline tries to convince Roderick that Verna is a threat after four children’s deaths. Lenore expresses concern about Frederick’s paranoia and Roderick’s worsening insomnia. Juno discusses with Tamerlane that she wanted to finally be accepted by a larger family after marrying Roderick, but the deaths have only isolated them. Madeline pushes her scientists to develop an AI for consciousness mapping. Pym uncovers Verna’s true nature and links to prominent families dating back hundreds of years. Morella begins speaking again, leading Frederick to secretly interrogate her. At Goldbug’s launch, Tamerlane is rattled by visions of Verna, and a sex tape of her, Bill, and an escort playing on screen that only she could see. Tamerlane accidentally injures Juno and she flees the event. Madeline spots Verna who vanishes in front of her eyes. At home, Tamerlane is taunted by Verna through mirrors, which she smashes, but the broken glass impales and kills her.
* * *
[sighs]
[clears throat]
[kettle whistle echoes]
[clears throat] Welcome all and thanks for coming.
I am not Bill T. Wilson,
Bill T. Wilson is hoping a prostitute named Candy will let him fuck her if he brushes her hair.
Tamerlane Usher… came up with the Goldbug lifestyle to change the fucking…
Hello?
Bill?
Hey!
Bill?
Uh…
Guard?
Guy? What the fuck is his name? Costner?
Hello?
Hey…
If anyone is in here, there is a fucking bodyguard outside who is authorized to use lethal force.
[faint rustling]
[gasps]
Oh, Jesus.
Oh, God.
Tamerlane, you’ve got to sleep.
Jesus.
[sighs]
Just go to sleep. Just go to sleep.
Just go, please, just go to sleep.
[Auguste] I have a question. If I may.
You’ve told me about Perry’s conversations with his friends, Camille with her assistants, Leo chasing a cat alone in his loft, Victorine’s weird experiences at work, and now this.
Tamerlane Usher alone in her bedroom.
I’m sorry, am I boring you?
No, just, uh…
I mean… [sniffs]
I have to take it with a grain of salt, right?
There’s no way you witnessed these events, so what is this? Your best guess?
This is what happened.
How could you know?
Because they told me.
Before they died.
No, not before.
Oh, isn’t it beautiful?
It’s fit for a queen.
Queen Twosret, actually.
Pharaoh of Egypt, 19th dynasty.
Two giant sapphires were placed in Twosret’s head when she was mummified.
In place of her eyes.
To give her power and sight in the afterlife.
Now, that’s how you send off a goddess.
Priceless, they said.
But you have to ask the right questions. Not, “What do the sapphires cost?” but,
“What does the Supreme Council of Antiquities cost?”
“What does the Coalition to Protect Egyptian Antiquities cost?”
“What does the Minister of Antiquities cost?”
“What does the Secretary General cost?”
“What do the Egyptian National Police cost?”
Answer those questions. One at a time.
And in just a few years, those priceless sapphires are a birthday gift for my sister.
I reached through time and ripped the eyes out of a goddess with my pocketbook and some patience.
Does that make me a god?
Don’t all answer at once.
[knock at door]
Come in.
Jesus Christ. Are you okay? Have you been home yet?
Pym told me to come straight here before the press gets it.
Haven’t slept in my office since the first Ligodone launch.
Well, take a shower at least.
That’s not what I think it is.
It’s Fortunato property, it’s not for the police.
Did you remove it yourself?
I was going to have an intern do it, but this was faster.
I can’t believe it. I can’t believe she got to them.
I’m going to annihilate that security company.
The guard was 30 feet away.
There was no one in there.
I saw it with my own eyes. She did it herself.
I saw Victorine push the knife into her own heart.
And no… [chuckles]
No one helped her with her girlfriend. That much was clear.
Four deaths in a row is not a coincidence.
We don’t need to know how it’s happening to know it’s happening.
We are under attack and if that doesn’t snap you out of this, remember, Vic had a board seat.
Now you’re listening.
Yes, brother dear, has it not occurred to you that if these coincidences keep happening, that family firewall you’ve always talked about is being dismantled one brick at a time?
We could lose control of the board.
That woman from the bar, if we don’t find her, if we don’t stop her right fucking now, you won’t have a family left.
You won’t have a company either.
That’s something we can work with, at least.
Yes, finally, something I can actually do.
What time is it?
Sunrise, is what time it is.
My hand will be around the throat of every board member by lunch.
Have Pym summon the troops and spin up the circus, it’s war with the shareholders.
The woman, Roderick.
The board, Madeline, the board.
Roddie?
Hello?
Hello?
[man] I’ve never seen anything like this…
Hey, old man, it’s me.
You didn’t come home last night. I’m just…
I don’t love that. Call me.
Text me. Something.
[man] What do I tell their families that they’re counting on, this job…
Christ, breakfast of fucking champions, isn’t it?
We can’t sustain this.
[reporter] We’ll keep you updated as the story unfolds.
Tragedy has once again struck the prominent Usher family as the bodies of Roderick Usher’s daughter, Victorine Lafourcade, and her partner Alessandra Ruiz were found deceased in their home early this morning, following an apparent murder-suicide.
Sources report Ruiz was dead hours before Lafourcade took her own life in a gruesome scene.
[Lenore] Oh, my God. Dad!
[Frederick] What is it?
…by the couple’s friends and colleagues…
Oh, my God.
Jesus.
…and confusion…
We’ll have to go to another funeral.
Dad, are we safe?
Well, yes honey, you’re… you’re safe.
You have a bodyguard at school. You’re completely safe, honey.
…Camille L’Espanaye, Napoleon Usher and…
Your aunt, she was a very ambitious woman. I mean, very, very ambitious.
Something like this was bound to happen.
I didn’t think she would hurt Ali, but it…
Listen to me, this is important.
Your Aunt Victorine, your Uncle Leo, your Aunt Camille, your Uncle Perry… none of them were right.
None of them.
And they were also… Well, they’re not completely Ushers either.
The only thing that matters now is Mommy.
Honey, did you hear that? Tragedy. Victorine is gone.
Suicide.
And she didn’t just do herself in, she took Ali with her.
But it just shows to go you, you can never really know anyone.
[Morrie wheezing]
Do you?
Do you, honey?
Say goodbye, it’s time for school.
I want to stay with her.
No, Mommy needs to settle in today.
Are the doctors coming?
The specialists you talked about?
Soon.
[Bill] Tam, I tried calling.
I know.
I wanted to make sure that… I mean, Vic.
It’s all over the news. You weren’t answering.
Of course I’ve heard about Vic.
Are you okay?
No, I’m not okay.
That doesn’t mean that I need anything from you.
I don’t. We’ll send you service details.
In lieu of flowers, please leave your key.
Wow, you’re sticking to this.
I think I’ve been pretty clear.
Tammy, this… this isn’t the time…
Let’s set our shit aside for just a minute and take stock of what has happened.
You are not okay.
You think you’re tougher than this, you’re not.
And you have not been okay for a while now.
But you’re not alone in this.
I am here with you. And I love you.
I don’t.
So…
Can we put this out of its misery, please?
What did I do that was so egregious? Can you even tell me that?
Because I feel like all I’ve ever done is… try to work on our marriage.
And all you’ve ever cared about is our brand.
“Our brand”?
Read your prenup, Bill.
You leave with the clothes on your back, if that.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I’m just having a really hard time here.
And this thing, this Goldbug, it’s different than anything else that my family has ever done, and it is more important now than ever that the world sees that we…
That we’re more than just Fortunato. We’re not just pill-pushers.
We can be about health and about beauty.
And the Usher name is more than just Roderick and Madeline.
And I’m scared, Bill.
[Roderick] As you know, you’ve got to be with me when the smoke clears, Davis, ’cause it always clears, and I’m always standing.
[knock on door]
You remember the other side of it. Remember ’96?
[Davis] Mr. Usher…
They try to kill me, but I don’t die.
Heads fucking roll on the other side. And Davis, hear me, I’m goddamn immortal.
Come in!
Oh, my favorite girl.
I’m so sorry, Grandpa.
Thank you, Sarah, you can go.
Yes, sir.
You too, bodyguard.
Anybody tries anything, I’ll…
[clicks tongue]
Why aren’t you in school?
Are you kidding?
They excused me. I wanted to make sure you were okay.
Everybody’s…
Why is this happening?
Life is insane.
It is madness.
The sooner you understand that, the better off you’ll be.
I’m worried, Grandpa.
The world might not be safe… but listen to me, and listen carefully.
I won’t let anything happen to you.
I’m not worried about me.
I’m worried about my dad.
Something’s off with him.
Well, sometimes things are just… off.
Reality’s not what it used to be.
All that we see
Or seem
Is but a dream within a dream
For example…
Do you see them too?
Daydreams.
‘Cause I’m not sleeping at night, but that’s… that’s an edge.
As those who dream by day Are cognizant of many things
Which escape those Who dream only by night
Grandpa, are you okay?
I am. I’m fine.
I’m just… [sighs]
It’s been quite a week.
That’s Fortunato property.
That too.
[officer] Sergeant, do we have to listen to this asshole?
[sergeant] We’re ready for you in here, Mr. Pym.
Hard drives, laptops, anything digital is ours.
The D.A. has assured me that if you find anything relevant to our case on those devices, you’ll turn it in.
You’re not serious.
You telling me those have fuck-all to do with proprietary Fortunato shit?
See something of interest, Mr. Pym?
You’ll conclude your business here by 7:00.
Mr. Usher welcomes you into his daughter’s home, but his patience isn’t endless.
Stay out of the other rooms.
Cancel my afternoon, I’ve got to check something out.
Oh, and I’m having Richard Parker for dinner, so… tell him I might be late.
Yes, sir.
Dad!
Dad, are you here?
Hey there.
Oh. Fuck it. Fuck.
I’m so sorry.
No.
Um, no, thank you.
Sorry.
Have you seen my father?
He hasn’t answered his phone all morning.
I know. He sure won’t, right? I’ve been calling all day.
Closest I got was Crystal, you know his secretary?
Crystal. Course you do.
She said he was okay. Not to worry.
Crisis mode. All that.
Victorine. Horrible.
It’s always the same though.
He doesn’t really talk to me most of the time. It’s, uh…
You ever been alone in this house?
It’s fucking huge. A lot of stairs. Quite cold.
Makes me feel small, I guess. No one ever sees me here.
No one is here in general.
I’m rambling. I’m sorry.
I’m sorry is what I meant to say.
I’m sorry about Victorine.
And Camille. And Leo.
And Perry. All of it. All this madness.
It’s just weird to me.
I guess all these terrible things and… I thought, that’s when people come together.
But we’ve never been further apart.
I’m sorry… that he doesn’t answer his phone.
It’s not you. It’s all of us. It always has been.
I know.
I’ve never had much in the way of family.
I thought when we… got together, “Well, his family’s fucking huge, isn’t it?”
Just to… be part of a group.
Be really part of something, you know?
[clears throat]
Silly, aren’t I? [chuckles softly]
Just tell him I came by if you talk to him before I do.
[Madeline] No, that’s not good enough.
I need something that will impress the board.
And I need it now.
One thing about the board, they love the pills, but they love an algorithm even more.
We have predictive market modeling up and running at 74% accuracy on the SET.
Thailand. Mmm. Congratulations.
That’s like getting a “B” in an easy class.
What about the DOW, Japan?
Hell, fucking Germany.
Those markets are much more volatile and our algorithm is still learning.
Okay, how about weather patterning?
The Doppler algorithm was performing well last month.
Put a little icing on that.
It’s doing better than expected, but not ready for the board, Ms. Usher.
What am I paying you people for?
Look, this science, yes, it’s about predicting political landscapes, preventing environmental catastrophe, saving entire economies, but if we can crack consciousness mapping, it’s about living for fucking ever.
Leave now. Thank you.
[phone vibrating]
Arthur.
Things are escalating.
How so?
I found a patient file at Vic’s.
There was a photograph attached.
It was her.
Her?
There was an address on the file.
Now you’re talking. You need to get there.
I’m here now.
You were absolutely correct.
This is intentional.
You have been targeted.
And this woman knows we are trying to find her.
What makes you say that?
[Auguste] Here?
She used this address on her file?
[Roderick] That’s right.
Did he go inside?
Oh, yes, he did.
And did he find her?
How much do you know about Arthur Pym?
I expect he’s the kind of man you call if you…
I don’t know, accidentally kill a prostitute and need to dismember the corpse.
[laughs] No. No, he’s not nearly that boring.
You remember the Transglobe Expedition?
’79 to ’82. Circumnavigated the globe.
U.K. to the South Pole to the North Pole and home again. Round the world.
I remember.
One hundred thousand miles.
Across the Sahara.
Swamps and jungles of Mali and the Ivory Coast, unexplored crevasse fields in Antarctica. The Northwest Passage…
The graveyard of so many famous adventurers.
And then, into the hazards of the Arctic Ocean…
I remember it, Roderick.
Arthur was there.
He was barely 25.
He put law school on hold to elbow his way onto the expedition and he saw the fucking world.
While you and I were dicking around with our petty little dramas, and we were digging in the basement at Fortunato, Arthur Gordon Pym was bending the planet over and taking his piece.
The things he saw…
And he’ll talk about them too. To a point.
Always stops telling it… as he gets to the North Pole.
Used to be a fun game when the kids grew up, trying to finish Arthur’s story.
I like to think he killed someone.
I like to think he’s eaten human flesh.
I like to think he took a piss on the tip-top of the world.
A guy can dream.
[laughs] He told my kids… that the Earth was hollow.
And I don’t even know if he was lying.
He was lying.
He told Tammy the Earth was hollow… and that he found an island at the top of the world, that he called
Ultima Thule.
And that it was the realm of beings who lived… beneath us, out of time.
And out of space.
Cute.
We didn’t send a private investigator to find that woman.
We didn’t send the police. We didn’t send a hitman.
We didn’t send a mercenary.
We sent Arthur Gordon Pym.
Of course he found her.
But not that day.
Funny you mention going through the basement of Fortunato.
That’s why I remember seeing the expedition, in a way.
They landed back in England in ’82.
I watched most of it on TV.
I remember it well, because… I was unemployed at the time.
Thanks to you.
Oh, don’t be bitter, Auggie.
At this point, isn’t it all just water under the…
Oh, please. Please, sweetie, stop.
[bone cracks]
[Auguste] Roderick?
Roderick?
[gasping]
It’s all right.
[Auguste] Thanks for doing this.
It’s risky.
[Auguste] Yes, it is. I won’t deny that.
What happens if he gets caught?
I hate to say, it kind of depends on what he gives us.
Whatever I give you, whatever it is, you have to take him down.
Because no matter how badly we hurt him, if we don’t kill him, he’ll kill us both, you know that.
You get me what I need and he will go down.
Tell me again. What do you need specifically?
[Auguste] I wrote it all down for you.
Patient records, sure, but I’m more interested in the consent for care forms, internal memos, anything that has the name Brevit on it.
And anything that has your signature on it that you know you didn’t sign.
Those are bulletproof.
You testify that they are forged and each piece of paper is a felony.
There’s lots down there. It could take hours to copy everything.
To be clear, I’m putting my neck out there.
Into a fucking guillotine.
My neck’s right next to yours.
We can’t do this. You’ll be breaking the law.
They are breaking the law.
We’re just making copies of their crimes.
And then what? You testify?
Yes.
But it’s complicated.
No, I…
Roderick, this is risking everything we have.
Tell me…
it’s not just a vendetta against your awful boss.
Or about your dad.
Tell me it’s worth it.
Tell me you know the risk and I’ll be there with you.
I’ll back you up. Just tell me.
This is worth the risk.
Then I’m proud of you.
[objects clatters]
Hello?
[sighs in relief]
[Madeline] Look at the address.
[Roderick] Doesn’t make any sense.
We’re past that now.
Look. You can’t deny your own eyes.
I watched Vic commit suicide with my own eyes.
Was there anything in her system? Any drugs whatsoever?
There was no one else in the apartment.
Look at the fucking file. She was there at every turn.
[Roderick] What do you expect me to do? Huh? I mean, Arthur?
What do we have on this woman?
Some pictures, a bogus address, but what did she do to them?
I don’t know. Yet.
But you need to bear with me.
I tracked down that bar you mentioned, Madeline.
Only the location you gave me isn’t a bar. It was never a bar.
And it’s been vacant since 1975.
I must have the address wrong. It’s been 40 years.
Now, you two said you walked to this bar from Fortunato that night?
We did.
Seems unlikely you’d walk more than five miles.
Five minutes, more like.
I looked at every bar in a five-mile radius of Fortunato going back to 1975.
I accounted for every female bartender at every bar that fit that criteria, and nothing.
I’ve been running her images through a facial recognition sweep.
No hits on law enforcement.
See? This is going nowhere.
But I tapped into Madeline’s technology department, brought in their research algorithm, combed the Internet, massive image search and, in conjunction with our facial recognition…
[Madeline] Oh, wait, that’s…
[Arthur] David Koch.
Seven years ago.
[Roderick] Wait, she… she works for the Toxic Twins?
I always got along with those fuck-nuts.
And Zuckie too?
That’s Gina.
[Arthur] Gina Rinehart. Mining magnate.
Climate Denial Dundee.
You remember when she tried to make a case for $2-a-day pay, no?
She’s a trip. She’s a great singer too.
[Arthur] These were taken in 2011.
[Roderick] So she’s a stalker. She stalks important people.
[Roderick sighs]
Oh, wait.
This is from the ’80s.
[Arthur] Gettys.
That’s Prescott Bush, 1944.
Randolph Hearst.
Rockefellers.
Doherty. Vanderbilts.
And this one.
That’s John Francis Queeny. He founded Monsanto.
In 1901.
Bullshit. This is bullshit.
Roderick.
It’s Photoshop. She sprinkled bogus images of herself online.
She knows we’re looking. It’s a prank.
Roderick, stop it.
Oh, she’s… [scoffs]
Stop. It’s a goose chase. She’s spinning your wheels.
I could make a hundred photos just like that.
Give me three minutes, I’ll make a photo of Pym blowing Elon Musk.
Don’t be such a fucking child.
This is the same woman, Roderick.
Remember what happened that night. Remember what she said.
You’re the COO of a Fortune 100 corporation and you’re talking like a crazy person.
You remember that conversation, I know you do.
We were out of our minds, Madeline.
Maybe.
Men have called me mad But the question is not yet settled
As to whether madness is or is not The loftiest intelligence
[Arthur] If I may.
The metadata confirms these images have been online for years.
So for someone to fake these photographs, we’re looking at deep state, black-ops level cyber manipulation.
I’ve never seen anything like this.
CIA, NSA. No, it seems impossible, so obviously they want us to think it is.
They want us to have this exact conversation.
The question is, why?
Or it is exactly what it looks like.
I need the room, please.
You may have it.
[door opens, closes]
Look out!
[woman] Daddy!
[man] It’s all right now.
It’s all right. You all right?
Don’t worry.
It’s all my fault.
It’s not your fault, dear.
I’m so sorry.
We’re all safe now.
Okay. What now? Another movie, or a show?
Go ahead.
Mo-vie.
Okay. Now we’re talking.
Just let me know when we hit something you want to see.
Honey.
Love you.
She’s talking.
What?
This afternoon she wasn’t even blinking.
I thought something was wrong, she wouldn’t even twitch, now she’s moving again.
More than ever, she’s talking even.
Really?
We’ve got to tell the doctor.
We should do.
Hey, did the doctor come today?
Not today.
Where’s…
I mean, you said about the specialists.
Full-time care? But, well, I haven’t seen anybody.
Well, like you said, she’s doing much better now, so they come when they’re needed.
Are they coming tomorrow?
I’m sure they are.
Listen, I don’t want you to worry about doctors and specialists and whatever.
Your mom’s going to get what she needs, and who better to take care of her than us, right?
I mean… [sniffs] we always have been so good to her, haven’t we?
Yeah.
It’s just because you’d said about the specialists…
Don’t you worry about it.
I’m sorry.
About everything.
I know you must be…
I can’t imagine how you’re feeling.
I’m good, sweetie.
I mean, Aunt Vic, she’s…
You understand that you’re perfectly safe, right?
I know the family’s… They’re going crazy.
They’re doing…
Self-destructing all over the place.
But you’re going to be okay.
I’ll make sure of it.
Yes!
[ECG beeping]
[Morrie wheezing]
[snorts]
I heard you’re talking.
Freddie.
I think it’s neat that you can talk again. Don’t get me wrong.
It’s just, what’s the point?
Because if you’re talking… you’re lying.
We can do without the lies, Morrie.
No.
[beeping intensifies]
How long were you fucking him?
No.
[wheezing]
No.
No. No.
Enough. Okay? Enough.
No.
Freddie. Freddie. Freddie, no.
15cc lasted, what, about six hours last time?
Ah, this stuff is the real deal.
And you’re aware the whole time, right?
It’s important that you are aware.
You can still see me, hear me.
This stuff.
It’s the only stuff I know that can do that this well.
You still see me, right?
Good.
Let’s see how long this dose lasts, huh?
[Madeline] I nearly spat out my tea when your secretary told me where you were.
She says you’ve been coming down here a lot.
What are you doing down here, anyway?
Listening.
Goldbug is starting.
[Roderick] Mmm-hmm.
You should be there.
If not for her, for the company. We are drowning.
The trial. The deaths.
It’s a waste of time.
Why the hell is she doing it today anyway?
Well, because she has to.
Because right now, she seems more interested in pulling this family out of its nosedive than you do.
And you should back her up.
I’ll be up in a minute.
Do you hear that?
Hear what?
Bells.
Shut your mouth, get your shit together. The fuck is wrong with you?
You know as well as I do what’s happening here.
Stop playing stupid.
I don’t know anything about anything.
My heart is dying, my brain is dying, I don’t… I don’t know for a fact if you’re even here right now.
Okay, you can hide behind this diagnosis all you want.
But right now, I need you to pull your head out of your ass for Tamerlane and Frederick, for Fortunato, and for me.
Your daughter needs you.
She’s fine.
She’s surrounded. How many people are up there anyway? A hundred?
[indistinct chatter]
Oh, fucking hell.
Oh, that’s enough caffeine, you are shaking already.
It’s not the caffeine, it’s the nerves.
Please.
You’ve been ready for this your whole life, look at you.
This is important for our company.
The world is closing in and we need something like Goldbug, something that could be positive.
This is a good start. I thank you for that.
If it’s so important, where is Dad? Where is Bill?
Men are as stupid as they are simple. You’re better off.
They need to get used to seeing your beautiful face out there.
Your face in front of the Goldbug logo.
Your face in front of the Fortunato logo.
Not BILLT, the fitness dork.
I miss him.
You won’t darling, I promise you that, because whatever it is you think you miss, you can get it anywhere.
You’re right.
I know. You’re right.
Oh, my God, my first husband.
I thought I missed him, but that was just this temporary insanity.
This burp your heart goes through.
He was fun to ride. Boy.
He wouldn’t shut up about kids.
Why do they always want you to have kids?
Men, when they think they’re immortal, all they want to do is fuck.
When they figure out they’re going to die, all they want to do is fuck.
You ready?
Of course she is.
I’ll give a five minute warning, introduce you, and you’ll cue the video?
Okay.
Break both legs.
[woman]…pleasure to introduce the founder of Goldbug, Tamerlane Usher.
[Verna as Tammy] Thank you. Thank you so much.
I am so grateful that we’re all here together today to celebrate Goldbug.
As you will see tonight, Goldbug is the height of opulence.
What the fuck are you doing here?
I mean…
What the fuck…
And excuse my French, I’m just… I’m that excited.
…are we doing here, right?
Well, let me tell you.
We are here to… celebrate.
We are here to change lives.
And that is what the fuck we are doing here.
[applause]
Meet Goldbug.
The first true, high-end beauty, fitness and health lifestyle brand on the market.
Goldbug isn’t just another subscription service, or an exercise class, it’s not just Goop, or Peloton.
It is a lifestyle.
And it will actually change your life.
[all applauding]
Opulence in self-actualization.
That is what we are all about, but more than that.
Let’s start with our Goldbug boxes.
Just the first tier in our tower of you.
Each box is built by a panel of chemists and high-end industry leaders.
A Goldbug subscription is different from anything else on the market because of our focus on individuality.
No two boxes are the same because no two peop… people… are the same.
I agree.
We’ve contracted with luxury companies from all over the world, and items found in our Goldbug boxes are not generally available to the American public.
In fact, this Goldbug is just for me.
It is tailored to my lifestyle and, as you’ll see…
French energy oil.
Made with black diamond truffle extra…
French energy oil. Made with black diamond truffle extract.
Some people say that this is the key to eternal youth.
Well, I’ve been using it for six weeks, and I swear… I don’t know how I look, but I feel ten years younger.
Crème de Lune.
Made with green caviar algae and South Sea pearls.
This moisturizer is…
The fuck are you doing here?
Just supporting you.
[Tammy laughs]
You know what?
That’s enough about me.
Let’s talk about you, before we get to our fitness integration portion of our presentation.
I’m sure you all remember
submitting your exhaustive profiles to our Goldbug team.
Well, there is a reason that we dug so deeply into your business.
If you would just look under your assigned seats and find what we have built for you.
Watch. Mine’s full of poo.
All the products contained in our Goldbug boxes are 100% organic.
Okay, tonight is about positive reinforcement.
I’ve been stressed out working too much, so Bill, I want you to lick her armpits and then eat her out.
[Bill] Yes, dear.
Oh, Christ.
Just once try and act like I’m not asking you…
Turn it off.
…to do the dishes.
Turn it off.
Wait. Armpits for a minute…
Please, turn it off.
I want you to lick her asshole while she reads a book.
Or answers emails.
Turn it off!
Turn it off!
And tell her how smart she…
The bum is an up-charge.
One thing I have is money.
[Verna] Whatever you want, boss.
You’re so fucking smart, after all.
[yells]
[crowd exclaiming]
Fuck you!
[grunts]
I’m sorry. I didn’t…
Tamerlane Usher is over.
[crowd chattering]
I’m here!
I am right here!
[panting]
[cell phone ringing]
[gasps]
[grunts]
[Verna as Tammy] Hello?
Uh, honey.
I… It… It was awful.
I don’t know what happened. I’m so sorry I didn’t listen to you.
I am so sorry, Bill.
[normal voice] You can call him back.
You still got time.
Bill, I’m sorry I treated you that way. Bill, I’m sorry I used you.
Could give him that at least.
Man ate a lot of ass on your behalf. Maybe you just tell him you’re sorry.
You fucking psycho stalker!
That would be so much easier, wouldn’t it?
[gasps]
[screams]
You really fucked this one up, didn’t you, Tammy?
Who are you?
I mean, you absorbed your twin in the womb.
That’s fucking hardcore. Hats off. Wait. Maybe I’m her.
Maybe I’ve been living all this time shoved to a dark corner of your skull.
And I’ve spent 40 years growing tiny little tendrils into your brain.
I’m finally taking over.
No. I’m kidding.
I’m actually you.
What do you want?
What do you want?
What I want is for you to relax.
[grunts]
I mean it.
[gasps]
[groans]
Keep swinging like that, you’re only hurting yourself.
Fuck you!
Not sure you’ve got time for that.
[groans]
Besides, I thought you preferred to watch.
If you’re so tough… then why are you so fucking scared of me?
Tammy…
What the fuck do you want from me?
Honey.
No one can take being shot down, scorned, and attacked 24/7 like you do to yourself.
And if you could hear that, you’d know.
It’s your last chance to be perfectly still.
And breathe before the inevitable.
[yelps]
Sweetie…
you might not believe me, but this part has nothing to do with you.
I fucked it all up.
I’ve… I fucked it all up.
I fucked it all up.
I fucked it all up. I just…
I just want…
Some sleep?
[gasps]
[shattering]
