Euphoria – S02E07 – The Theater and It’s Double | Transcript

Art imitates life as the East Highland crew watches their complicated dynamics reflected in Lexi's long-awaited play. Meanwhile, Fezco gets ready to attend.
Euphoria - S02E07 - The Theater and It's Double

Aired on February 20, 2022

Lexi puts on her play in front of East Highland students and faculty. Lexi’s peers come to the realization that the play is based on their lives with their names changed: Grace (Lexi), Hallie (Cassie), Marta (Maddy), Luna (Kat), Jade (Rue), and Jack (Nate). Earlier, Lexi is seen talking to Fezco as she worries that people will be upset by the play; he later promises to be at her play. The episode traverses between the present and past as the play depicts significant life events and relationships as told through Lexi’s eyes: Rue’s father’s wake and her descent into drugs; Cassie going through puberty; Rue and Lexi’s friendship; Lexi’s relationship with her dad; Cassie and Maddy’s friendship; and Maddy and Nate’s relationship. Meanwhile, Custer arrives at Fezco’s house before the play starts and Ashtray suspects his presence. Cassie and Nate continue their relationship despite his sustained feelings for Maddy and Jules. Rue’s mother focuses on Gia and tells Rue she is done looking out for her. Jules destroys the disc that Nate gives her. Maddy, feeling betrayed, vows to leave East Highland. Fezco fails to make it to Lexi’s play. The play ends with a rendition of “Holding Out for a Hero”, depicting Jack (Nate) and other students working out in a suggestive manner. An angry Nate leaves the play early and breaks things off with Cassie.

* * *

(inhales)

(exhales)

BOBBI: Lexi…

We’re ready.

(“Amore Mio Aiutami” by Piero Piccioni playing)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(indistinct chatter)

PERSON 1: Wasn’t it a lovely memorial?

PERSON 2: Oh, yes. It was up. It wasn’t down at all.

(indistinct chatter)

GRANDMA: A good heart, and, you know, she takes after him.

GIA: Thanks, Grandma.

(indistinct chatter)

It was so warm and from the heart.

Yes, it was.

It was just-It was lovely, dear.

Wasn’t it, wasn’t it?

You know what? He was a special man.

NEIGHBOR: Did he have life insurance?

LESLIE: Uh… a little bit.

We’ll figure it out.

NEIGHBOR: But he was young.

LESLIE: Yeah, he, he was young.

NEIGHBOR: Are you gonna be able to-The house, the kids?

LESLIE: We’ll figure it out.

NEIGHBOR: Good, good.

It’s, it’s gotta be a relief.

Thank you.

Thank you for coming.

Hey.

How’s it goin’ over there?

LESLIE: She’s asking me all these questions.

SUZE: Oh, yeah?

(indistinct chatter)

She skipped class.

Is anyone gonna check on her?

Is Rue in her room?

Yeah.

She hasn’t opened the door.

Do you think she’s okay?

Don’t just stand here and gossip. It’s rude.

(knocks on door)

Rue?

Hey.

RUE: Hey.

(sniffs)

These were my dad’s.

How are you feeling?

Yeah. I… found this poem, and I thought of you.

RUE: If it’s C.S. Lewis, I can’t.

No, it’s not. I promise.

Every hospice nurse says that “Grief is a long valley.”

Yeah, but that’s not the full quote.

Yeah, well, it’s enough for me.

Well, the second part’s kind of sweet.

RUE: What is it?

Uh, “A winding valley where every bend… may reveal a new landscape.”

That’s not that bad.

Can I read this to you?

Uh, yeah, I’d love that.

Uh…

It’s called “Let This Darkness Be a Bell Tower” by Rainer Maria Rilke.

“Quiet friend who has come so far,

“feel how your breathing makes more space around you.

(light music playing)

“Let this darkness be a bell tower and you the bell.

“As you ring, what batters you becomes your strength.

“Move back and forth into the change.

“What is it like, such intensity of pain?

“If the drink is bitter, turn yourself into wine.

“In this uncontainable night,

“be the mystery at the crossroads of your senses,

“the meaning discovered there.

“And if the world has ceased to hear you,

“say to the silent earth: I flow.

To the rushing water, speak: I am.”

♪ ♪

(person 1 coughs)

(person 2 coughs)

(blows)

(door closes)

LEXI: (narrating) I knew Jade had been doing drugs, but it wasn’t until that day, at her dad’s memorial, that I realized they were a greater comfort than I ever could be.

Maybe that’s a silly observation, but I was only 13.

It was the summer before I started ninth grade… back when we thought we’d all be friends forever.

(steady drumbeat)

Move.

Move, move, move!

Lights, four, go.

LEXI: There were five of us.

(camera shutter clicks)

There was me, Grace…

(“Love Will Keep Us Together” by Captain & Tennille playing)

♪ Love will keep us together ♪

♪ Think of me babe, whenever ♪

LEXI: My sister, Hallie…

♪ Some sweet-talking girl comes along ♪

♪ Singing her song ♪

LEXI: Her best friend, Marta…

♪ You’ve just gotta be strong, just stop ♪

♪ ‘Cause I really love you, stop ♪

LEXI: Marta’s best friend, Luna.

♪ I’ve been thinking of you ♪

♪ Look in my heart and let love ♪

LEXI: And my best friend, Jade.

♪ Keep us together ♪

♪ Whatever ♪

Bring out the f*cking letters now.

(steady drumbeat)

LEXI: And this is life.

Not everyone’s life…

But our life!

(applause)

AUDIENCE MEMBER: Oh, that’s f*ckin’ cool.

(scattered laughs)

Wait, is this f*cking play about us?

(drum roll)

RUE: For the last few months, Lexi had been talking to Fezco every day.

But I still don’t understand what the play is actually about, though.

LEXI: (on phone) It’s about friendship.

Well, that’s nice. Everybody’s gonna love that.

Yeah, I-I mean, I hope so.

I just-I keep second-guessing myself and getting anxious, like, if people are gonna think that it’s good or bad, or if it’s gonna upset people or not.

But why would anyone be upset by it?

LEXI: Oh, you know, it’s, it’s based on real people.

FEZCO: Yeah, you really strokin’ the bee’s nest with that one.

Am I?

I mean… if someone invited me to a play, and… they didn’t even tell me I was a character in it?

I’d definitely have some questions.

LEXI: Like, bad questions?

FEZCO: Depends on the play.

LEXI: Well, would you be upset by it?

FEZCO: It depends on the play.

Right.

FEZCO: And the intentions of the person who made the play.

My intentions are good.

FEZCO: Then you ain’t got nothin’ to worry about.

But… what if they think my intentions aren’t good when in reality they are good?

Well, that’s what I call a quandary.

LEXI: What’s the answer?

Uh, wait, what was the question again?

(whispers) Like, what happens if Cassie sees the play and thinks I’m being cruel, even though I’m not?

Well, how about you just don’t invite her then?

No, she’d get so mad.

FEZCO: Even more mad than if she actually saw the play?

That’s-I don’t know.

(door closes)

LEXI: Okay, this might kinda be a weird and embarrassing thing to admit, but I think the most defining moment of my adolescence was when my sister went through puberty.

(cymbals, drumbeat)

Uck, I look disgusting.

(audience laughs)

Hey, Hallie, I’m in the middle of somethin’.

It’s just this dress is so not flattering.

LEXI: Hallie, I’m kinda puttin’ on a play right now.

HALLIE: What?

LEXI: Like, there’s an entire audience waiting for me to continue talking.

HALLIE: Where?

(scattered laughs)

(quietly) Right here.

Oh, (chuckles). Hi. Wow.

(audience laughs)

Whatever. The point is, I couldn’t wait to go through puberty.

Wow, wow, wow!

(Suze screams)

MOTHER: Look at you!

I feel like a big baby.

Hallie…

I’ve been on this planet for 38 goddamn years, and I have never seen a baby with knockers like yours.

(laughing)

HALLIE: Mom, that was the grossest thing I’ve ever heard you say.

MOTHER: (laughs) Okay.

Lights, 12, go.

Look, I know being informed, smart, hardworking, and curious are all very important qualities, but imagine having all of those qualities and also being hot.

So, if Hallie was 433 days older than me, then all I would have to do is wait… 433 days, and I’d look just like her.

(audience laughs)

(cymbals)

(applause)

(cheering)

(TV chatter)

(steam hissing)

(knocks on door)

Yo, Ash, get the door, man.

(applause)

Okay, I need you to pull it way back.

You’re too broad. It’s not funny.

Oh my god. Are you crying?

It’s a directorial note. You just take it and move on, okay?

Hey, I need the light cues to be 40% faster, and the stagehands to be 20% faster.

BOBBI: Copy that.

Ew! God! What the-Did someone die in this dress?!

It smells like shit. (gags)

I love the theater.

What we got goin’ on?

Freshly steamed.

Ooh.

Yes, yes, yes.

You da best.

Mmm. Yeah, we steppin’ out tonight.

Ooh, bless your heart.

Nah, I really do appreciate you doin’ that, though.

(footsteps approach)

Custer: Damn, what’s good?

Yo, wassup, man?

Yo, I’m, I’m, actually, a little busy.

I’m, I’m gettin’ ready to go out.

We goin’ to a party?

Where you goin’?

Don’t worry about what I’m doin’, man. Worry about yourself.

All right. I’mma just chill then.

(foreboding music playing)

♪ ♪

(whispers) This is your dream.

Mick…

(through headset) don’t screw this up.

Lights, 12, go.

I could see myself now.

(audience cheers)

AUDIENCE MEMBER: Damn! Shit!

I’d be the girl… no one ever… could get.

AUDIENCE MEMBER: Is that Lexi?

Hi.

(loud laughter)

Hey, Ted, how are you?

Woo!

AUDIENCE MEMBER: Damn! Oh shit!

Hey, boys. How are you?

AUDIENCE MEMBER: Shit!

And I’d imagine my former classmates… sitting around at barbecues in their dirty, dirty backyards 20 years from now.

Man… I really wish I’d boned Lexi Howard.

Yeah, you and the rest of East Highland.

(audience laughs)

All I had to do was wait.

(applause)

(cheering)

Light, 86, go.

(drums playing)

♪ ♪

Look, Lexi, some guys prefer smaller boobs.

LEXI: Yeah?

I mean, if you and I could trade bodies, I’d do it in a heartbeat.

Well maybe they’re still growing.

No, they’re not.

Well, sometimes, it takes–

No, they’re fully formed.

To be honest, I’m not really the kind of person who wants to be known for their body.

But I also didn’t want the troubles that came along with it.

HALLIE: I wasn’t even looking at him, I swear.

You’re the only person I’ve ever dreamed of.

(“The Word Hurricane” by Air playing)

Well, she certainly looks the part.

(laughing)

LEXI: I feel like I’ve lived most of my life in my imagination.

Taking the smallest moments and dreaming them up into something bigger.

FEZCO: (on phone) Of course, I’mma be there.

I’mma be sittin’ in the front row, shorty.

I promise you that.

Okay.

A little exchange and I fall in love.

(applause)

(cheering)

A moment to myself and I’m onstage.

(applause)

(whistling)

But reality always finds a way of pulling me back.

Do you think he’s okay?

I think he’s just sleeping.

It’s the middle of the day.

(snoring)

(indistinct chatter)

I think we should have Mom come pick us up.

Don’t be rude.

It doesn’t matter if it’s rude.

I don’t want him to think that we don’t trust him.

Gus: Come on, girls.

Get in the car.

Come on, Lex.

(uneasy music playing)

(engine starts)

(Lexi crying)

(cars honking)

♪ ♪

RUE: Uh, I just need, like, like an eighth of weed. That’s all.

FEZCO: I can help with that.

All right.

Uh, yo, I’ll just be a second.

(grunts)

I think before high school we should think about all the things we don’t like about ourselves… and then change them, so we can be, like, like, different, cooler people.

I don’t think we need to be cooler.

LEXI: Well, we should at least try and know what’s cool.

JADE: Yeah, but that shit, like, changes all the time.

LEXI: That’s what makes it hard to follow.

JADE: Yeah, but I think it’s a good thing.

But… what if we get excluded from things?

That’s also a good thing.

Really?

Yeah.

My dad says he refuses to be a part of any club that would have him as a member.

LEXI: Well, that’s cool.

Yeah, don’t tell anyone. They’ll f*ckin’ ruin it.

Jade was the first person who made me feel okay about not being cool.

Lights, 10, go.

LEXI: I just feel like in 10 years, technology’s gonna get really scary, and we’re all gonna wish we’d never used it.

What are you talking about?

Well, all these tech companies are simultaneously developing artificial intelligence and robotics, so it’s only a matter of time before they become the new military-industrial complex and start making killer robots.

I think there’s a big difference between taking selfies and killer robots.

Yeah, maybe now, but that gap will close.

But anyway, back to where I was.

We talked and laughed for hours that night.

I miss those days.

It was before my dad left and Jade’s dad died.

Before Jade got into heavy drugs, and before I got inside my head.

It was before we grew apart, and before I started doubting myself every time someone would ask me if Jade was my best friend.

“Let this darkness be a bell tower… and you the bell.”

(bell rings)

Feel like I don’t know anything about your life anymore.

I’ll tell you when you get back.

Good night.

Good night.

Um… do you ever worry as you get older… you’ll have less and less memories of Dad?

Yeah.

GIA: How do you stop that from happening?

You can’t.

I… I remember a couple of days before you passed away… you told me… that if I ever wanted to be with you… all I would have to do is close my eyes… and we’d be together.

You said that… memories exist outside of time.

(Cassie laughing)

(“More” by Bobby Darin playing)

♪ More than the greatest love the world has known ♪

♪ This is the love that I give to you ♪

Gus: Hey, come on! Come join us.

♪ More than the simple words I try to say ♪

♪ I only live to love you more each day ♪

♪ More than you’ll ever know ♪

♪ My arms long to hold you so ♪

♪ My life will be in your keeping ♪

♪ Waking, sleeping, laughing, weeping ♪

♪ Longer than always is a long, long time ♪

♪ But far beyond forever you’ll be mine ♪

♪ I know I’ve never lived before ♪

♪ And my heart is very sure ♪

♪ No one else could love you more ♪

♪ Than the greatest love the world has known ♪

♪ This is the love that I give to you alone ♪

♪ More than the simple words I try to say ♪

♪ I only live to love you more each day ♪

♪ More than you’ll ever know ♪

♪ My arms got to hold you so ♪

♪ My life will be in your keeping ♪

♪ Waking, sleeping ♪

LEXI: I sometimes think about how my sister and I had so many of the same wishes growing up… and how different we became.

(“Spartacus Love Theme” by Alex North playing)

♪ ♪

LEXI: At that age, we all thought we knew what love looked like.

♪ ♪

And we had our suspicions of what it felt like.

But that’s also what made it so intoxicating.

None of us had any idea what it actually was.

I don’t think there’s anything more beautiful than dedicating your life to loving someone.

♪ ♪

I think that’s my biggest dream…

To be your girl…

To love you more than anything.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

You could never scare me.

I don’t know if I wanna do this.

It’s just weed. It’s not heroin.

(blows)

(coughing)

(Lexi coughing)

(Fezco laughing)

FEZCO: Lexi wildin’ out today.

You okay?

My god, that really burns.

(coughing)

(audience laughs)

LEXI: My whole life, I’ve always had this feeling that at any moment, something horrible was about to happen.

Psst.

(Custer whispers, inaudible)

Faye!

Come here.

(uneasy music playing)

♪ ♪

(whispers) Be cool.

I love you.

♪ ♪

(whispering)

FEZCO: Yo, Faye!

FAYE: Yeah?

FEZCO: Come here for a split second.

I’ll be right there.

♪ ♪

Tie or no tie?

You okay?

Um…

Yeah, I’m good.

(coughs, laughs)

Yo, you got her lookin’ like that, that white guy with the afro.

He be paintin’ on TV.

F*ckin’ Bob Ross.

(laughing)

She looks like Bob Ross.

FEZCO: Bobby, Bobby, it’s a fire!

We gotta, We gotta go. We gotta go. Yeah.

It’s a fire! C’mon, c’mon!

(laughing)

LEXI: I don’t think I like weed.

RUE: Yeah, well, that’s… crazy talk.

I just can’t control my brain the same way… I normally can.

Yeah, but that’s, like, the best part.

All right, well, see ya later, homie. Good night.

Get home safe.

(quietly) Okay.

LEXI: I think Jade used drugs to push away all the bad thoughts.

But it did the opposite for me.

(“Amore Mio Aiutami” plays)

All I could think about were the bad thoughts.

The things that could go wrong… the people I could lose… and the million and one reasons why I’m not good enough.

♪ ♪

RUE: Jules and I hadn’t spoken since that bullshit intervention.

Even though I see her around.

♪ ♪

It’s funny how I used to think we were meant for each other.

That feels like a lifetime ago.

♪ ♪

What’s up?

(hand dryer whirring)

♪ ♪

(dryer stops)

(snaps)

(applause)

(TV plays)

LESLIE: You broke me.

Completely broke me.

I give up.

Hey…

you wanna kill yourself doin’ drugs? Go ahead.

I’m not gonna stand in your way.

So I can do drugs?

Yeah.

Anything I want?

The world’s your oyster.

Mom, are you f*cking with me right now?

No.

If you wanna fry every last brain cell in your head, go ahead.

(laughs) What? What?

That’s exciting to you, huh?

What?

Bein’ a crackhead?

I just feel like there’s a catch here. (sniffs)

I can’t convince you that your life is important.

You’re gonna have to make that decision on your own.

You’ll be 18 soon… and outta my house.

And you’re gonna make whatever decisions you’re gonna make.

I’m takin’ you off my plate.

Okay.

I’m gonna focus on Gia.

Yeah, but she’s fine, though.

She’s been gettin’ D’s in math.

Yeah.

She’s been in detention three times in the past two weeks.

And every mornin’, when I go into her room to make sure she’s awake, she already up… on the phone.

And I know she’s not getting any sleep.

But if you say she’s fine… I’ll just take your word for it.

I didn’t know any of that.

LESLIE: Why would you?

You only ever think about yourself.

That’s not true, Mom.

If I have to choose between losin’ one daughter or two?

I’mma fight to save her.

Nah, that’s fair.

(indistinct chatter)

Move it, move it, move it.

LEXI: When Hallie and Marta entered ninth grade, they became inseparable.

(“Oops” by Tweet playing)

(applause)

♪ I tried and I tried ♪

♪ To avoid ♪

♪ But this thing was happening ♪

♪ Swallowed my pride, let it ride and partied ♪

♪ But this body felt just like mines ♪

♪ I got worried, I looked over to the left ♪

♪ A reflection of myself ♪

♪ That’s why I couldn’t catch my breath ♪

♪ Oops, there goes my shirt up over my head, oh my ♪

(song fades out)

(dreamy music playing)

♪ ♪

LEXI: When I first met Marta, she made me nervous.

I had never seen anyone as sure of themself as her.

Because of that, I didn’t really trust her.

Woo!

(applause)

LEXI: Until her parents started fighting all the time and she basically moved in with us for a few months.

D’ya like it?

I feel stupid.

What? Everyone feels stupid. Who cares?

You feel stupid?

Yeah, I did.

And then, I just chose not to feel stupid.

I don’t know if… I can… really get to that point.

90% of life is confidence.

And the thing about confidence is no one knows if it’s real or not.

Okay, okay, I’m not runnin’ a brothel here.

All right, girls? It’s time for bed.

It’s supposed to be me. (laughs)

Oh, that’s supposed to be me.

All righty, beauty queens. It’s time for bed. Good night.

MOTHER: (whispers) Good night, sugar pops.

(door closes)

HALLIE: Marta…

Marta: Yeah?

HALLIE: You can sleep in my bed if you want.

My parents used to fight all the time, too, so I get it.

(Marta cries)

You can stay here as long as you want.

(Marta crying)

MADDY: Open the f*cking door, Cassie.

Open the door and tell me it was worth it.

You owe me that.

(doorknob rattling)

Open the f*cking door, Cassie!

What kind of f*cking friend are you?

What the f*ck?

This isn’t about Nate.

This is about you and me and our friendship, and if you wanna throw it away, then fine.

‘Cause I don’t wanna be f*cking friends with you.

KAT: Come here, babe. Let’s go.

I’m just sick of it. I’m sick of it.

He put me through hell and now he’s with my f*cking best friend?

Like, what the f*ck?

KAT: It’s f*cked up.

When is it gonna end?

KAT: It’s f*cked up.

(door rattling)

MADDY: Open the f*cking door, Cassie!

Open the f*cking door!

KAT: She’s not gonna open it. Let’s just go.

MADDY: Open the door!

(bangs on door)

KAT: Maddy, come on.

You’re a f*cking coward.

You’re a f*cking coward, and I would’ve never done this to you.

I would’ve never done this to you.

(somber music playing)

(crying)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(crying)

♪ ♪

(sniffles, cries)

(breathes deeply)

♪ ♪

(“Surrender” by Armando Trovajoli playing)

♪ ♪

Am I everything you wished for?

♪ ♪

I would love for you to f*ck me… whenever and… however you want.

You can control what I wear… what I eat…

♪ ♪

…who I talk to.

I want every guy you know to wanna f*ck me… but they can’t.

Because they know I’m yours.

I belong to you… and I will never complain because I trust you know what’s best.

♪ ♪

Aren’t you afraid people are gonna look down on ya?

At least I’m loved.

♪ ♪

LEXI: Jake and Marta’s relationship was our first impression of love.

No one’s ever loved me as much as you.

No one ever will.

(uneasy music playing)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(cries)

(dark music playing)

♪ ♪

(gasps, breathing heavy)

Shh, shh, shh.

It’s just a dream.

Shh… Quiet.

(breathing heavy)

LEXI: But every relationship has its cracks.

Some bigger than others.

I’m afraid to tell him.

Mm-hm.

Do you think he’s gonna cry?

He might.

Mm, don’t say that.

But he might.

(sighs)

I just feel bad.

Bad enough to stay in East Highland for the rest of your life?

F*ck no.

Oh, you’ve made your decision.

I just feel like I’m gonna break his heart.

It’s good practice.

(Maddy scoffs)

I got you something.

What? You didn’t have to.

I know.

Somethin’ tells me you’ll enjoy it.

Ugh, hurry up!

Okay, this is it, people!

It’s f*ckin’ showtime! Let’s go!

I need more energy, passion!

More glycerol, Sarah.

But it makes my skin break out.

I don’t f*ckin’ care.

You ready?

Yeah, I’m f*ckin’ ready.

Yeah, you ready?

Yeah, I’m f*ckin’ re–

(giggling)

(barks)

(laughs) Okay, Bobbi. if Mick f*cks up another light cue, I’m gonna f*ckin’ kill him.

BOBBI: Mick, you were two seconds too late on that light cue.

Lexi is very angry with you.

Copy that. I’m really sorry.

BOBBI: He says sorry.

Okay, I don’t f*ckin’ care.

Tell him we’ll replace him.

We don’t have anyone to replace him with.

Just threaten him.

Mick, I am relaying a message directly from Lexi.

If you mess up again, we will replace you.

With who?

He’s asking with who.

Literally anybody. Any–

Mick, Mick, y-you-A blind three-year-old could do a better job than you.

(“What’s Up” by Labrinth playing)

♪ See man rolling up ♪

♪ And my dream gold as-Woo! ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Yeah, they don’t know what’s up ♪

♪ Yeah, they don’t know what’s up ♪

♪ See me all rolling up ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

All right, babe. Time for me and the boys to work out.

(audience laughing)

(laughing)

You guys are so gay.

(silence)

(audience laughs)

Babe, that’s not funny.

(audience laughs)

By the way, your friend never came to pick up his ticket.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

ACTOR: Man…

Whoo!

(eerie music playing)

Tie… no tie?

FAYE: I think you look handsome with no tie.

All right, f*ck this shit then.

Yo, you think, uh… you think other people will think that I look handsome?

I do.

Cool… I’m finna go put my pants on.

♪ ♪

(footsteps)

♪ ♪

How ya doin’, playa?

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

All right, uh… I’m finna head out.

Wait, you’re, uh, you’re leavin’?

(phone dings)

Yeah, I’m about to leave right now.

Is-is everything good?

All right, c’mon. Get outta here.

Run along, babe. (laughs)

Man, whoo!

All right. Come on, tiger.

(audience laughs)

Come on, let’s pump some iron, boys!

(“Holding Out for a Hero” by Bonnie Tyler playing)

Hey, Paulie. Could you rub a smidgen of oil on my back?

I can’t reach. My pecs are gettin’ too freakin’ big.

Anything for you, Jake.

Hey, Jake. Your body’s fantastic. Can I help?

♪ ♪

(cheering)

♪ ♪

♪ Where have all the good men gone ♪

♪ And where are all the gods ♪

♪ Where’s the streetwise Hercules ♪

(lip-syncing)

♪ To fight the rising odds ♪

♪ Isn’t there a white knight upon a fiery steed ♪

♪ Late at night, I toss and I turn ♪

♪ And I dream of what I need ♪

♪ I need a hero ♪

(audience cheers)

♪ Holding out for a hero ’til the end of the night ♪

♪ He’s gotta be strong, and he’s gotta be fast ♪

♪ Gotta be fresh from the fight ♪

♪ I need a hero ♪

(cheering)

♪ Holding out for a hero ’til the morning light ♪

♪ He’s gotta be sure, and it’s gotta be soon ♪

(grunting)

♪ Gotta be larger than life ♪

♪ Larger than life ♪

(screams)

♪ Holding out for a hero ’til the end of the night ♪

♪ ♪

(cheering)

(gasping)

♪ ♪

(cheering and applause)

♪ Up where the mountains meet the heavens above ♪

♪ Out where the lightning splits the sea ♪

♪ I could swear there is someone ♪

♪ Somewhere watching me ♪

♪ Through the wind and the chill and the rain ♪

♪ The storm and the flood ♪

♪ I can feel his approach like a fire in my blood ♪

(spanking noises)

♪ Like a fire in my brain, like a fire in my brain ♪

♪ Like a fire in my… ♪

♪ I need a hero ♪

(players grunt)

(screams)

♪ Holding out for a hero ’til the end of the night ♪

Oh my god!

♪ He’s gotta be strong, and he’s gotta be fast ♪

♪ Gotta be fresh from the fight ♪

♪ I need a hero ♪

♪ Hero ’til the morning light ♪

♪ He’s gotta be sure, and it’s gotta be soon ♪

♪ Gotta be larger than life ♪

♪ I need a hero ♪

♪ Holding out for a hero ’til the end of the night ♪

♪ He’s gotta be strong, and he’s gotta be fast ♪

(players grunting)

♪ Gotta be fresh from the fight ♪

♪ I need a hero ♪

♪ Holding out for a hero ’til the end of the night ♪

Woo!

♪ He’s gotta be strong, and he’s gotta be fast ♪

(players moaning)

♪ Gotta be fresh from the fight… ♪

(applause)

(cheering)

(players moaning)

Lexi, you’re a f*ckin’ G!

(cheering continues)

It’s goin’ good, right?

She’s brilliant. Lexi’s brilliant.

Nate.

Why the f*ck are they laughing?

Nate!

That shit is so f*ckin’ homophobic.

Babe, I’m so sorry. I had no idea Lex–

She’s your f*ckin’ sister!

No, I–

I, I-No–

You know what, pack your shit. Get the f*ck outta my house.

I’m f*ckin’ done.

(door creaking)

(door slams)

(muffled cheering and applause)

(breathing heavy)

(cheering and applause)

(slowly inhales, exhales)

(“Cannibal Holocaust” by Riz Ortolani playing)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

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