Euphoria – S02E03 – Ruminations: Big and Little Bullys | Transcript

Rue pursues a new business venture as she helps forge a friendship between Jules and Elliot. Cassie settles into a routine, while Lexi pours herself into mounting a school play. Maddy considers getting back together with Nate, and Cal finds a target.
Euphoria - S02E03 - Ruminations: Big and Little Bullys

Aired on January 23, 2022

As a teenager, Cal experienced a budding affection towards his friend Derek while dating his future wife Marsha. Eventually, Cal made his feelings known to Derek, who reciprocated them, but Marsha’s unexpected pregnancy compelled Cal to marry her and keep the details of his sexual orientation hidden. Rue develops a plan to keep her drug use hidden from Jules and Gia while repairing Jules and Elliot’s relationship. When Rue runs out of drugs, she convinces school teacher turned drug supplier Laurie to provide her with a large stash, ostensibly for her to sell. Ali becomes suspicious of Rue, and she insults him into cutting ties with her. Cassie becomes obsessed with her covert romance with Nate, distancing herself from friends and family in the process. Lexi channels her frustration with Cassie, Rue, and her own introverted nature into the writing of a play, which she prepares to stage at school. Assuming that Fez has the video, Cal visits his house and is beaten and humiliated by Ashtray into admitting his indiscretions; Fez lets him leave on the condition that he ceases to pursue revenge against him. Nate rekindles his relationship with Maddy.

* * *

RUE: When Cal was a Senior in high school…

Morning, dingleberry.


No, I’m gonna kick your ass.

Yeah, well… put your bra and panties on.

Okay… I’ll be there in 10.

RUE: …he spent every day with his best friend Derek.

(car door shuts, engine starts)

(“Mystify” by INXS playing)

♪ All veils and misty ♪

♪ Streets of blue ♪

♪ Almond looks ♪

♪ That chill divine ♪

♪ Some silken moment ♪


♪ Goes on forever ♪

♪ And we’re leavin’ broken hearts behind ♪

(whistle blows)

♪ Mystify ♪

COACH: Let’s go! Work it! Work it!

Come on! Let’s go! Work hard!

You pansy motherf*cker! Let’s go, Cal!

Don’t be a pussy! Let’s go! Work hard!

♪ Mystify me ♪

♪ I need perfection ♪

COACH: Work hard!

♪ Some twisted selection ♪

♪ That tangles me ♪

♪ To keep me alive ♪

♪ Mystify ♪

♪ Mystify me ♪

Good work, boy.

♪ Mystify, mystify me ♪

♪ Eternally wild with the power ♪

♪ To make every moment come alive ♪

♪ All those stars that shine upon you ♪

♪ Well they kiss you every night ♪

♪ Mystify ♪

♪ Mystify me ♪

♪ Mystify ♪

You wanna get a milkshake?

(“Never Let Me Down Again” by Depeche Mode playing)

♪ I’m taking a ride with my best friend ♪

RUE: The best part about his relationship with Derek was that they could talk for hours about sports, girls, life, whatever.

It didn’t matter.

Or they could just sit in silence.

They were that close.

That comfortable.

♪ ♪

DEREK: You can go.



RUE: He met Marsha junior year.

(“The Look” by Roxette playing)



♪ Walking like a man Hitting like a hammer ♪

♪ She’s a juvenile scam ♪

Marsha. Marsha, stop.

♪ She’s got the look ♪

Marsha… I’m gonna bite your foot I swear to God.

MARSHA: (giggles) Do it.

CAL: I am driving.


It is dangerous.

♪ She’s got the look, she’s got the look ♪

♪ She’s got the look ♪


♪ What in the world can make… ♪

RUE: Marsha was way more forward than any girl he had met before.

♪ When everything… ♪

RUE: And even though he wasn’t always comfortable, he was grateful she pushed his boundaries.

♪ She’s got the look, she’s got the look ♪

♪ She’s got the look, she’s got the look ♪

Ooh god. Ooh.

♪ And I go la la la la la ♪


RUE: He couldn’t wait to tell Derek.

CAL: And then she unbuttoned my pants, and, like, just went for it.

DEREK: Dude, was it good?

CAL: I mean, yeah. (chuckles)

DEREK: And, like… could she, like, I mean, uh, did she, like, uh, deep throat?

Yeah. (laughs)

Oh, nice, dude.

Where’d you pop?

Where do ya think?

And she swallowed?

Yeah. (laughs)

Wow, dude. Ah.


So, I mean, she’s a keeper?

Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I guess so.

(“Chains of Love” by Erasure playing)

(door opens)

♪ Together with me and my baby ♪

♪ Break the chains of love ♪

Derek, hit the road.

Uh… yeah, I’ll see you at practice.


Have a good night, Mr. Jacobs.

Get up.

I will.

Right now.

I don’t feel well.

BUD: You were fine when I walked in.

Dinner’s on the table.

(“Lips Like Sugar” by Echo & the Bunnymen playing)

(softly) Oh f*ck.

So, um…

I met a girl.

RUE: And so did Derek.

Hey! Come on in!


♪ She floats like a swan ♪

♪ Grace on the water ♪

♪ Lips like sugar ♪

DEREK: I got an idea.

CAL: What are you doin’, bro?

LISA: Oh my god, Derek!

Let’s go for a swim.

MARSHA: Yeah, let’s do it!

CAL: Should we do it?

Oh my god.

Come on, come on!

MARSHA: Come on!

♪ Lips like sugar ♪

(both yelling)

♪ Sugar kisses ♪

All right, let’s go!


(squealing, laughter)

♪ Lips like sugar ♪

♪ Sugar kisses ♪

LISA: Have fun, guys.

DEREK: Have fun, big boy.

Marsha… what’re you doin’?

Hold… Hold on.

(moans) Oh… I’m so sorry.

(grunts and laughs)

RUE: And just like that… it became a regular thing.

(“She Sells Sanctuary” by The Cult playing)

(both moaning)

♪ Make my back burn ♪

RUE: Back then, Marsha would tell him what felt good, and, eventually, he got better at it.

(Marsha moaning)

Oh my god.

You’re smiling.

(laughs) That was amazing.

You like it that much?

CAL: I do.

I’m fine with that.

Mind if I do it again?

Please do.


RUE: And he did like it that much.

In fact, it was all he could think about.


I love it.

Yeah, I don’t know, uh, I like women, but… you couldn’t pay me to eat pussy.

(“It Ain’t Over ’til It’s Over” by Lenny Kravitz playing)

♪ So many tears I’ve cried ♪

♪ So much pain inside ♪

♪ But baby, it ain’t over ’til it’s over ♪

♪ So many years we’ve tried ♪

♪ To keep our love alive ♪

I win, pussy. I win.


♪ How many times did we give up ♪

♪ But we always worked things out ♪

RUE: Cal was going to Duke, and Derek was going to a state school out west.

BUD: When summer ends, your life begins.


(all toast)

(dog barking)

♪ So many tears I’ve cried ♪

♪ So much pain inside ♪

♪ But baby, it ain’t over ♪

RUE: Derek insisted they go celebrate… just the two of them.

DEREK: All right, I know a place that will serve us.

Just, uh, go up 27.

♪ ‘Cause baby, it ain’t over ’til it’s over ♪




♪ ♪

F*ckin’ shit.

(“I Can Dream About You” by Dan Hartman playing)

DEREK: Oh, how you doin’, man?

BARTENDER: Hey, how are you guys?

Could we get, uh, two tequila shots, please?

BARTENDER: Let’s do it.

Thank you.

♪ I can dream about you ♪

Straight down for you guys.

BOTH: Thank you.

You’re welcome.

DEREK: I knew they’d serve us here.

DEREK: Can we get, uh, two more?

BARTENDER: Absolutely.

DEREK: Actually… can we get four?

Thank you, man.

BARTENDER: Go, go, go, boys.

Rapid fire.

All right.

Ah, f*ck.

Oh, boy, yep. Up, down, up.

(“Never Tear Us Apart” by INXS playing)

♪ Don’t ask me ♪

♪ What you know is true ♪

♪ Don’t have to tell you ♪

♪ I love your precious heart ♪

♪ I… ♪

♪ I was standing ♪

♪ You were there ♪

♪ Two worlds collided ♪

♪ And they could never tear us apart ♪

♪ We could live ♪

♪ For a thousand years ♪

♪ But if I hurt you ♪

♪ I’d make wine from your tears ♪

♪ I told you ♪

♪ That we could fly ♪

♪ ‘Cause we all have wings ♪

♪ But some of us don’t know why ♪

♪ I was standing ♪

♪ You were there ♪

♪ Two worlds collided ♪

♪ And they could never tear us apart ♪

♪ You, don’t ask me ♪

♪ You were standing, you know it’s true ♪

♪ I was there, worlds collided ♪

♪ Two worlds collided, we’re shining through ♪

♪ And they could never tear us apart ♪

(phone ringing)


Hey, babe.

What’s wrong?


Are you sure?


Are you sure the test is accurate?

Take another one.


You took three?


Yeah… of course I am.


I’ll see you in a minute.

I l-love you, too.



(crying continues)

(“Never Tear Us Apart” guitar riff plays)

♪ ♪

(“Call Me Irresponsible” by Bobby Darin playing)

(singing along) ♪ Call me irresponsible ♪

♪ Call me unreliable ♪

♪ Throw in undependable, too ♪

♪ Do my foolish alibis ♪

♪ Bother you ♪

♪ Well I’m not too clever ♪

♪ I just adore you ♪

♪ Call me unpredictable ♪

♪ Tell me I’m impractical ♪

♪ Rainbows I’m inclined to pursue ♪

♪ Call me irresponsible ♪

♪ Yes, I’m unreliable ♪

♪ But it’s undeniably true ♪

♪ That I’m irresponsibly mad for you ♪

♪ Go on and call me unpredictable ♪

♪ Tell me that I’m impractical ♪

♪ Rainbows I’m inclined to pursue ♪

♪ You go ahead and call me irresponsible ♪

♪ I admit I’m unreliable ♪

♪ But it is undeniably true… ♪

RUE: ♪ Ooh, I’m irresponsibly mad ♪

(blows bubbles, muffled singing)


Are you high?

RUE: Oh, f*ck me.

Was she there the whole time, or did she just walk in?

I mean…


Now, as a beloved character that a lot of people are rooting for, I feel a certain responsibility to make good decisions.

But I relapsed.

(chaotic music playing)

In all fairness, I did say in the beginning I had no intentions of staying clean, but I get it.

Our country’s dark… and f*cked up.

And people, they just wanna find hope…

(angelic vocalizing)



And if not in reality…

(through TV) then in television.

Unfortunately… I’m not it.

Ugh. Elly?

Oh, shit. Sorry, that was from last year.


“How to Get Away With Being a Drug Addict.”

Step one: Find a cover drug.

‘Cause no matter how hard you try to hide it, if you’re doing drugs, you’re gonna get caught.

It’s inevitable, and when that does happen, you don’t wanna be on the defensive.

Trust me, no one believes an addict when they’re caught.

So, first things first, you want to lay the groundwork.


GIA: This movie’s nuts.

Which one is this?

“Killer Baby”? I don’t even know.


RUE: “Killer Mutant Baby.”

Oh shit.

I think I’m gonna start smoking weed.

Why would you start smoking weed?

‘Cause I have panic attacks every f*cking day.

You are so f*cking selfish.



Gia, it f*ckin’ helps with my… f*ckin’ anxiety, and my panic attacks, and shit, Gia.

GIA: I don’t wanna talk to you, Rue.

Can you just f*ckin’ listen for a second?

GIA: I don’t wanna talk to you!

Gia! Gia, what the f*ck?!

GIA: (screams) Stop!

The f*ck is wrong-What the–

RUE: Are you f*cking crazy?!

GIA: Don’t push me!

What the f*ck is wrong with you?

Get your hands off of me!

It’s a f*cking idea! I wasn’t gonna f*cking do it!

You’re a liar!

I’m a f*ckin’ liar?!

I’m tryin’ to f*ckin’ tell you something!

Yes, and you don’t give a shit about you, you don’t give a shit about me.

You don’t give a shit about your mama.

It’s a f*cking idea!

(screams) I’m not actually doin’ f*ckin’ weed!

It was an idea, okay?!

And I should’ve never f*ckin’ told you ’cause you’re just like f*cking Mom.

Don’t put–

Both of you are f*cking crazy!

RUE: Now, what you wanna do is make them second guess their intuition, make them feel like any valid concern is just their anxiety getting the best of them.

Step two: Gaslight.

GIA: Rue, when you do drugs… it’s not like when other people do drugs.

It’s better than committing suicide.

When I’m sober, that’s what I think about.

That’s where I’m at, Gia.


That’s where I’m at.

Now, if you wanna tell Mom, you can tell her… but I don’t know what else I can f*ckin’ do.

Rue… I love you… so, please, just promise me, it’s just gonna be weed and nothing more.

I promise.

So, the next time you put Pop-Tarts in the fridge, or milk in the cupboard… you have a motherf*ckin’ out.

(blows bubbles, muffled singing)


Are you high?

I mean.

I just smoked a little bit of weed.

Wait, what?


Please, you keep going. I’m just gonna sit here for a second.

So, I smoked a little bit of weed, and forgot to mention someone that I met.

By the way, I think you would really get along with once you’re not mad at me for whatever… you’re f*ckin’ mad at me about.

I’m not gonna get along with him.


‘Cause he wants to f*ck you.

You really think so?

Yes, I know so.

No. I promise you, there is no way that he wants to f*ck me.

No way.

Do you wanna f*ck Rue?

Not no.

JULES: So, you’re straight?


JULES: Are you gay?


So, you’re bi.

Well, I don’t think of it that way.

What do you mean?

You’ve never, like, thought about your sexuality before?

ELLIOT: Not in a particularly rigid way, no.

Have you guys f*cked? Is that a thing?

Elliot, I’m asking the f*cking question.

Why did she avoid that question?

Yeah, why did you dodge the question?

How many girls have you f*cked?

ELLIOT: Like, technically, three.


ELLIOT: I mean, technically, the first girl, it was, like, two seconds. It was embarrassing.

She probably wouldn’t count it. She would not count it.

Okay, uh, how many guys have you f*cked?


Are you serious?


I’m kidding.

How many guys have you f*cked?

She doesn’t wanna answer that question ’cause she’s kind of a whore.


Slut. She’s a slut. I was gonna say slut, but then whore just kinda came out.

Wait, how many guys have you f*cked?

You know, that is an excellent question, Jules.

How many guys have you been with?

Uh-uh. No.

No, it’s not an excellent question.

In fact, it’s an irrelevant question ’cause I’m no longer interested in men, so.

Well, how many men do you have to f*ck to no longer be interested in them?

RUE: Hmm.

Uh, I’ll tell you if you promise to never tell Rue.

Are you for real right now?


What the f*ck?


(Jules whispers)

Wow! Really?

That’s f*cked up. That’s like a mentally ill amount of people to f*ck.

What did she say?

ELLIOT: No, that’s, like… that’s, like, bad.

Wait, do you really think so?

No… I’m kidding.

Who gives a shit? Everyone’s a f*ckin’ nun.


ELLIOT: You’re a nun.

How am I a nun?

ELLIOT: You’re a trans girl wearing a binder asking me whether I’m straight or gay?

Well, I’m navigating a largely straight, binary world–

You sound like you’re navigating a Twitter thread.

I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean.

But you know what I mean, like most people are straight.

And most trans girls don’t wear binders, right?

Yeah, and, uh, most guys don’t hang out with two girls unless they wanna f*ck them.

I didn’t say that I didn’t wanna f*ck you or Rue.

So, you wanna f*ck Jules?

You guys are disgusting.

I’m not out here swingin’ my muff around waitin’ to see who f*cks it.


I don’t like you.


JULES: ‘Cause you’re being sarcastic, and I don’t like sarcastic people.

RUE: Wait, aren’t I sarcastic?

No, no, you’re the opposite.

ELLIOT: All right, I’m being sarcastic because I’m uncomfortable, and the questions are, like, f*ckin’ hypocritical, you know, and I genuinely do like Rue.

And, you know, even though you’ve been gangbanged by the entire galaxy, you’re still f*ckin’

You’re great.

Okay? And I want to be friends.

You think he’s being sarcastic?

Unfortunately, no.

JULES: Come on!

RUE: You’re too fast!

(laughs) You’re just f*cking slow. I don’t know.

RUE: (groans) I don’t play sports for a reason!

Come on!


(“Effigy” by Ministry playing)

♪ No, no ♪




Oh, you motherf*cker.

(Jules laughs)

You know–

You need to take care of that asthma.

(both laughing)

You know I’m not… good at that kind of stuff.

(Jules chuckles)

Oh man. Let me catch my breath.

Oh, I’m sorry.

My breath.

(heavy breathing)


RUE: Does that feel good?

JULES: Yeah.


(heavy breathing)

RUE: The beautiful thing about getting high is time ceases to exist.

I mean, you can just stay in the good moments without the fear that they’ll come to an end.

(light music playing)



When’s the last time you guys played truth or dare?

Vice Principal Garcia, hi. My name is Lexi Howard.

I know who you are, Lexi.

Right, sorry, that was weird, um.

Anyway, I’m writing this play, and I was wondering if I could put it on…

RUE: After all that stuff with Cal at Fezco’s convenience store, Lexi realized there was a reason she never tried to intervene before.

She was an observer.

That’s who she was.


She often imagined that her parents weren’t really her parents… and that her sister wasn’t her sister, and that her house wasn’t even really her house.

That it was just a movie…

Suze: I, I told you. I didn’t promise you that.

RUE: …one that she was writing.

Let me just show you a photo of the prosthetic.

I don’t really have time for that right now.

Can you get me some Nicorette?

Rue Bennett is 47 minutes late.

We can’t get ahold of her.

I’m gonna f*cking kill her.

Lexi, I need to talk to you about this scene.


Suze isn’t wearing her wedding ring.

LEXI: Okay, that’s a props question.


(indistinct chatter)

(audio from monitor): I didn’t bring it up.

Okay, it’s like every, every single day. It’s like you’re OCD!

LEXI: And cut it!

(bell rings)

My name is Lexi Howard.

I am the writer, director, and creator of “This Is Life.”

(upbeat music plays)

While the story’s about a 16-year-old g-Bleh.

The story is about a 16-year-old girl, Grace, who lives in the shadow of her older sister, Hallie.


And tackier.


But the story isn’t about Hallie.

You know, that’s been done before.

It’s about Grace.

Here, come with me. (laughs)

Look, the sidekicks are usually the more sensitive, smarter, more compelling characters, but for some reason, they just get overlooked.


LEXI: And I was like, TV show, the sidekick is the lead.

Cut! Are you f*ckin’ high?

Yeah, it’s about love and friendship.

And about when… you know, you’re younger, everything just feels so permanent.

But as you get older, everyone drifts away.

(frenzied classical music plays)

RUE: So, she just started writing, and writing, and writing.

♪ ♪

(muffled shouting)

(alarm sounds)

LEXI: Why are you awake at 4 AM?

CASSIE: Why are you awake at 4 AM?

♪ ♪

RUE: Cassie decided to wake up at 4 AM that morning to get ready for school.

She needed to clear her head.

And for those three hours she spent getting ready… she only thought about one thing.

(bright music playing)

♪ ♪

There was also something refreshing about the amount of time she was putting into herself.

♪ ♪

Out of sight, out of mind.

(alarm chimes)

RUE: She loved the ritual, the attention to detail… the anxiety and excitement she felt in her stomach.

And even if Nate pretended not to notice her…

♪ ♪

(alarm chimes)

It was her way of telling him that she was his.

♪ ♪

(music stops)


♪ ♪



Wait, why are-why–

Uh, my class is this way.

RUE: Anyway, back to where we started.

I’m writing this play, and I was wondering if I could put it on.


(whimsical music plays)

True or dare?


ELLIOT: Yo, Jules. I dare you to take a piss in the middle of the street.

JULES: All right.

Sure, yes!

(Elliot chuckles)

Gender-f*ck me, please!


RUE: Jules!


RUE: Okay, all right.

RUE: Oh, shit!


RUE: Oh. Okay, Jules.

(Elliot laughs)

Hey! Car.

(horn honking)

Oh… my god.

ELLIOT: No, no, no, no, no!

Not on the car. Not on the car. Not on the car.

(Rue and Jules giggling)

Hey, look, I, uh, I noticed the way that you’ve been lookin’ at me you know, past couple days, and I…

I wanted you to know, I too, I’m into scat play, and if you wanted to, like, poop on each other–

What the f*ck?!

(all shouting)

Oh shit, oh shit, oh!

(student yelling)

ELLIOT: Oh my god.

(shouting continues)

I’ll f*ckin’ kill you, goddammit!



I really wanna go down on you.

We can’t do it here.


(both giggling)

(electronica music plays)

(breathes deeply)

RUE: If I were a genius, I’d figure out a way to do drugs for free.


What if I am a genius?

I’m a f*ckin’ genius, Fez.

FEZCO: Is that so?

It is f*ckin’ so because I came up with an amazing f*ckin’ plan.

And what would that be, Rue?

All right, so (clears throat)…

all you would have to do is front me, like, $5,000 worth of drugs, okay?


FEZCO: Hell the f*ck no.

Okay, well, before you say no, you kind of have to let me finish, right?

Hell the f*ck no.

Okay, why do you keep saying that?

I did not like the way that the plan started.

Okay, well, you have to let me finish the f*cking plan.




Hell the f*ck no, Rue.

F*ck it. I give up. Whatever.

I’ll just take my f*ckin’ business elsewhere.

It’s your f*ckin’ loss, man.

Hell the f*ck no.

That’s a good-ass plan.

Thank you. F*ckin’ Fez didn’t even wanna hear it.

Why not?

Ego shit, man.

Yo, Lex, what’re you doin’?

Oh, just putting up fliers for this play I’m doing.

What play?

The only thing is…

Lexi hadn’t told anyone about the play… including Cassie.

I’d actually love for you to read it.

Yeah, for sure. Just, uh, send it to me.

Hey, Rue-Rue.

Hi, Cass.

Wait, are you in the play?

What play?

Lexi’s play.

What do you mean, Lexi’s play?

Uh, the play that Lexi wrote.



The play’s called “Oklahoma”?

No, the drama club’s doing “Oklahoma.”

Oh my god. Do I look like I’m in “Oklahoma”?

Why would your play be set in Oklahoma?

You thought I was auditioning for “Oklahoma”?

I haven’t read it, so.

Are you making fun of me, or did you actually think I was auditioning for “Oklahoma”?

Why the f*ck would you audition for “Oklahoma”?

CASSIE: I’m not!

Then why the f*ck do you look like you’re auditioning for “Oklahoma”?

Do I?

KAT: Yes.

Has everyone read “Oklahoma” but me?

“Oklahoma”‘s not like a play you read.

Rue, are you on drugs?


You relapsed?

Wait, what?!

RUE: Oh, I’ve just–

Nah, I’ve just been smokin’ a little bit of weed.

Wait, I don’t understand. If you’re not auditioning for “Oklahoma,” then why do you look like that?

Like what?!

MADDY: Like a country music star.

In a good way or a bad way?

Bitch, you better be joking.

Are you okay, Cass?

No! Yes! F*ck it!

I am in love with Nate Jacobs and he is in love with me!

And don’t you f*cking give me that look, Maddy, because I didn’t f*ck your boyfriend!

You two were broken up for three weeks and three days before we even had sex, so I didn’t betray you!

Plus, you guys are terrible for each other and you know I’m right and you guys can all judge me if you want, but I do not care!

I have never, ever been happier!

RUE: But she didn’t say that.

In fact, it was much weirder.

She just stared straight ahead like she’s doing now and didn’t say a word.

MADDY: I think being single’s really stressing you out.

No, I don’t think so.

MADDY: I hate it.



I think Nate really f*cked me up.

(Theo gasps)

I said, “Messed me up.”

No, you didn’t.

What do you mean?

I keep trying to figure out if I feel worse now than I did when I was with Nate.

I mean, you were really unhappy.

MADDY: Like, I remember how the good parts felt.

But when it was bad, was it really that bad?

Or am I just telling myself that because I’m lonely and bored?

No, you… you deserve someone who’s passionate and loving.

Who yearns for you, and, and can’t wait to see you, who… who you’re not gonna fight with, and just who’s gonna love you. Like… really, truly love you.

MADDY: Yeah… I don’t know.

Do me a favor… when you get older, don’t be an asshole to girls you like.

Okay. (chuckles)

RUE: Maddy didn’t realize that Cassie was talking about herself…

(“Emotions” by Brenda Lee playing)

…and her relationship with Nate.

♪ Emotions ♪

♪ What are you doin’ ♪

♪ Oh, don’t you know ♪

♪ Don’t you know you’ll be my ruin ♪

RUE: Who she had been f*cking every Friday night for the last three weeks.

(Nate breathing heavy)

I love that I’m your secret… and I can’t tell a soul.

I love how f*ckin’ sick you are.

(both moaning)

(muffled moans)

What I wouldn’t give to be back in high school.

(moaning continues)



RUE: Meanwhile, Kat was having dinner with Ethan’s parents.

JUDY: So, who’s my son with?

Oh, she’s got the cutest smile, doesn’t she?



ETHAN: Mom, stop.

So, Katherine…

Tell me about yourself.

Uh, (awkward laughter)

RUE: Kat got nervous because she could feel that there were right answers and wrong answers.

Who am I? (laughs) Oof.

Wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Um… I mean, that’s, like, a really big question.

Well, I guess, who am I is a very different question than tell me about yourself, right?

Uh… I mean, I’m, like, kinda trying to just… figure it out myself.

You know, like… I mean, I guess I just, I… literally, have no idea who I am.

(awkward laughter)

Wow… Wasn’t that illuminating.

(Judy laughs)

RUE: Kat wanted to crawl into a hole and f*cking die.

And so did Cal, who hadn’t been able to sleep since Nate told him about that disc.

(bottles clattering)

NATE: You want a water?

RUE: And every time he’d close his eyes, he’d imagine…

Aaron, tell your dad dinner’s ready!

Dad, dinner’s ready!


RUE: But Cal wasn’t raised that way.

He wouldn’t go down without a fight.

(tense music playing)

Hi… I’m Rue. Um, good to see you, uh.

I would love to present you with a, a business opportunity.


You want some?

Oh, I’m okay. Thank you.

Uh, (clears throat) ever since I, I, I met you at New Year’s, I was, I was thinking, um, that… maybe, you– um… um…

uh… I’m in high school, right?

Uh, and I have a GPA of 3.95, and let’s say, you know, all my friends Jamie, Amy, and Lanie also have a GPA over 3.7.


RUE: And, and, Laurie, these are, these are girls that you would never expect in a million years to be selling.


Look, I’m a dreamer, you know, and, and Steve Jobs is my hero.

And I was just thinking, you know, what if there was a foolproof system to sell… you know, (chuckles) without anyone snitching.


RUE: So, let’s say… hypothetically, of course, uh, we were able to pay Jamie, Amy, and Lanie $500 a month to be runners.

Now as collateral, we would upload their phones to a cloud that I own.

(bird vocalizes)

Why would you want that?

Ah, that’s a good question, Laurie.

May I?

Uh, well, you see… even though Jamie, Amy, and Lanie have stellar GPAs, there’s also things on their phones that they don’t want the world to know about because it would probably jeopardize their ability to get into Yale, Columbia, Harvard, my top choices, uh.

Plus, uh, if they ever got busted, we’re lookin’ at 6 to 12 months in juvie.

Intent to sell is a way bigger sentence.

(bird squawks)

Not if you’re under 18.


Which is nothing to having your entire life released and ruined on the internet, so their incentive to snitch is basically reduced to zero.

This is an amazing plan.

You’re a genius.

Thank you.

LAURIE: It’s true.

I’ll front you a 50k suitcase.

RUE: Don’t do it. You’re too much of a f*ck-up.

Maybe we should start smaller.



That was very mature, Rue.

LAURIE: If you pay each girl a thousand, you can flip it for 20, and that’s 7k profit.

Three to me. Four to you.

Uh, thank you, Laurie. You won’t regret this.

LAURIE: You pay-up and re-up in a month.

Uh, terrific.

Rue, if you screw me, I’ll have you kidnapped and sold to some real sick people.

I always find a way to make my money back.

I’m serious.


(“Gangsta Nation” by Westside Connection playing)

♪ Na-na, na-na-na-na ♪

♪ Na-na, na-na-na-na ♪

♪ Na-na, na-na-na-na ♪

♪ Na-na, na-na-na-na ♪

♪ ♪

(cocks gun)

What the f*ck you doin’?

RUE: Lexi knew she couldn’t mount a play all on her own, so she enlisted the help of Bobbi as her stage manager and partner in crime.

They didn’t know each other well, except that they shared a mutual disdain for “Oklahoma.”

Bobbi, you okay?

F*ck “Oklahoma.”

Are they all here to audition?

Are you all here to audition?


They’re all here to audition.

Right, yeah, that’s, that’s what I thought.

Put yourselves into a single-file line.

We’ll be with you momentarily.

So first, you come to my f*ckin’ job askin’ all these weird-ass questions like the feds.

Then I find you out in front of my house.

What the f*ck are you doin’, man?

You’re free to call the cops.

FEZCO: Why the f*ck would I do that?

Well, it’s either call the cops, let me go or… kill me.

FEZCO: What the f*ck, man? What’s with your family?

Are you all just a bunch of f*ckin’ assholes?

CAL: You beat up my son.

Yeah, well, he deserved it, man.

He’s a f*ckin’ bitch.

Oh, okay, tough guy.

Ow, f*ck!

Why did you do that?

‘Cause you’re in no position to talk shit.

I’m warning you. You hit me one more–

Oh, f*ck!

Why don’t you call the cops?

The Chief of Police, Will Greenwood–


(Cal grunts)

All right, Ash. Chill out, man.

CAL: F*ck!

This guy don’t want the f*ckin’ cops involved.


Call the cops.

I will.

Dial, bitch.

(Cal grunts)

If you got nothin’ to hide, call the f*ckin’ cops.

Stop, stop, stop.

I’m not f*cking stopping.

I’m not stopping. Call the cops.

I told you.

All right, man. I get it.

CAL: I know you and your drug addict friend, that girl.

You’re trying to extort my son.


Because of what I did to her friend.

FEZCO: What the f*ck are you talkin’ about, man?

You know, the blonde.

Who? Jewel?

Look, man, I didn’t know she was 17.

You tellin’ me you had sex with Jewel?

Who’s Jewel?

FEZCO: What the f*ck, man?

FAYE: Do I know Jewel?

FEZCO: The f*ck are we even talkin’ about right now, bro?


Jewel. Jewel…

I just want the disc.

FEZCO: What disc?!

Of Jewel and I.

Yo, you recorded that shit?!

CAL: I didn’t know.

You didn’t know that you were recording?

I f*cked up.

FEZCO: Obviously, man.

Yo, who the f*ck even told you I gave a shit about this anyway?

My son.

Your son? The one that’s in love with Jewel?

Faye: Aw, that’s cute.

FEZCO: That’s not cute, man. What the f*ck?


FEZCO: What kind of weird-ass father-son shit is goin’ on around here, bro?

I’m extremely confused.

FEZCO: You’re confused.

I’m f*ckin’ confused, bro.

Me too.

FEZCO: I don’t even know what the f*ck you’re doin’ here.

Do you mind if I just leave?

I’m not gonna say a word about anything, I swear to God.

Let’s just pretend like… none of this ever happened.

Yo, Ash, let me talk to you real quick.

Hi… what’s your name?


Do you and your son, like–

Do you, like, f*ck people together?

FEZCO: Yo, check it out, man.

I’mma let you walk up outta here on one condition.


You’ll keep your bitch-ass son out of my f*ckin’ life, and Rue’s and Jewel’s, till the end of f*cking time. You understand?

I promise.

Now, I don’t know shit about no f*ckin’ disc, man. That’s not my problem.

Now get this motherf*cker up outta here, Ash.


(strumming guitar)

Why can’t I shake the feeling that there’s, like, something you’re not telling me.

I don’t know.

Like, why don’t I trust you?

Is it the face tats?

No, (chuckles)… No, it’s not the face tats.

ELLIOT: Okay, what is it?

These are the kind of things… that can cause you to relapse.

This is not easy, but I’m very proud of each and every one of you for trying to take this on.

Work this program. It will work if you work it.

Do you have a crush on Rue?

(guitar stops)

I do.

SPEAKER: I was a little bit ashamed of myself that I didn’t wanna be around other people with this awful, awful habit.

Because it’s no future in addiction.

I don’t care what they tell you.

Addiction will take you out.

I feel like Rue doesn’t want to f*ck me.

Why don’t you think so?

She seems like… gay… or asexual, you know?

Like she’s not really interested… in sex.

That’s not true.

ELLIOT: Really?

No, that’s not true at all.

You think Rue’s, like, a sexual person?

JULES: I mean, at times, yeah.

Yeah, you’re full of shit.

It’s true!

ELLIOT: I feel like you’ve f*cked way too many people to look me in the face, and lie to me and say she’s some sexual force of nature.

Fine. No, she’s not, like, the most sexual person ever.

ELLIOT: Then how does that work?

What do you mean?

‘Cause you’re, like, a sexual person?

JULES: Not all the time, but sometimes.

Fine… No, okay, she’s not a sexual person.

Or, like, maybe, she is a bit.

I just haven’t seen that side yet.

ELLIOT: I wouldn’t blame yourself.

I’m not.

I’m just saying it’s, like, easy to take that kind of stuff personally.

Are you, like, trying to be an asshole right now?

I’m being sweet right now.

JULES: How is that sweet?

‘Cause you’re very f*ckin’ f*ckable.


ELLIOT: I mean, you’re fascinating, right?

‘Cause you’re creative and you’re smart, and you’re kind of f*cked up.

But you’re cute, and you’re awkward, and you’re like… kind of clumsy but you’re very much a whore, intentionally, which is great.

You know, you’re like extroverted and weird, but also introverted and shy… and your art is amazing.

They should hang it up at f*ckin’ MoMA.

But on like a more superficial note, you have great tits.

And you and Kurt Cobain have the same haircut… which is hot.

Give me that.

ELLIOT: But I’m sure Rue told you all that.

You guys are in love, right?

(light music playing)

Shut up.

So, Rue, the $64,000 question is… what’s in the suitcase?

School books.

Ah, is that why you’re in that getup?

You became an honors student.

I’m not in the mood for a lecture.


I… like to think we have conversations.

RUE: Yeah, I’m sure you do.

Okay, what? Did a hornet crawl up your ass or somethin’?

What’s wrong with you?

Look, I’m-Man, I’m not tryin’ to hear a f*ckin’ lecture, okay, about how my life would be better if I stopped doing drugs, or believed in God, or Allah, or whatever the f*ck.

Okay, well, you’re the one lookin’ like a Jehovah’s Witness.

I just don’t think that there’s, uh, Bibles in that suitcase.

Shut the f*ck up, man.

Wait, wait, wait. Excuse me?

Shut the f*ck up?

Don’t play that shit with me.

I’ve always accepted you for who you are: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Don’t tell me to shut the f*ck up. I’m not some parent you can just treat like shit.

Yeah, well, good thing nobody’s really lookin’ to you to be a f*ckin’ parent.

Yo! Excuse me?

Excuse me?


When I sit across from you and tell you somethin’ about my life, you don’t get to use that shit against me.

You cross that line again, we’re done.

You talk back right now, we’re done.

One more f*ckin’ disrespectful word outta your mouth, and we’re done. You hear me?

(shouts) Hey! You hear me?!

RUE: Or what, Ali?

You gonna hit me?

(“If” by Jo Stafford playing)

♪ If they made me a queen ♪

♪ I’d be but a slave to you ♪

And before he even took a drink, he offered it to me first.

♪ If I had everything ♪

♪ I’d still be a slave to you ♪

♪ If I ruled the night ♪

Where are you headed?

To meet a friend.

I know, Mom. I know.

♪ Still I’d turn ♪

Are those my clothes?

Yeah. I was auditioning for Lexi’s play.

What play?


♪ If the world to me bowed yet humbly I’d plead to you ♪

Yeah… Oh, she’s doin’ really good.

Yeah, I’m proud of her.

♪ If I ruled the Earth ♪

♪ What would life be worth ♪

♪ If I hadn’t the right to you ♪

MADDY: Ready to go to bed?

THEO: Mm-hm.

Okay. Good night, little man.

Sweet dreams.

ETHAN: (on phone) I got the part!

What part?

ETHAN: In Lexi’s play.


♪ If the world to me bowed ♪

♪ Yet humbly I’d plead to you ♪

♪ If my friends were a crowd ♪

♪ I’d turn in my need to you ♪

♪ If I ruled the Earth ♪

(phone chimes)

♪ What would life be worth ♪

♪ If I hadn’t the right ♪

(doorbell rings)

♪ To you ♪

(“Watercolor Eyes” by Lana Del Rey playing)

♪ Breaking up with me then making up ♪

♪ Just to make me mad ♪

♪ I think that you taste like rock candy ♪

♪ Sweet like beaches leave me all sandy ♪

♪ Why ♪

♪ Do you leave me with watercolor eyes ♪

♪ Young love don’t always last forever ♪

♪ Wild horses can’t keep us together ♪

♪ So what if you taste just like heaven ♪

♪ That don’t make it right ♪

♪ Hot summer and cold watermelon ♪

♪ Your love stings like blood and a lemon ♪

♪ Why ♪

♪ Do you leave me with watercolor eyes ♪

♪ Watercolor eyes ♪

♪ Watercolor eyes ♪

♪ Watercolor eyes ♪

♪ That don’t make it right ♪

♪ That don’t make it right ♪


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