Young Sheldon
Season 7 Episode 7
Episode title: A Proper Wedding and Skeletons in the Closet
Original air date: April 11, 2024 (CBS)
Plot: Both sets of parents (and Missy) are informed and rush over to City Hall and are allowed to be part of the wedding. After the ceremony at dinner, Sheldon is happy he was left out of is the ceremony. Audrey offers to pay for Georgie and Mandy to have a weekend at Dollywood as their honeymoon. On the drive there Mandy and Georgie discuss aspects of their future and pull over to have sex. Cece is left with Connie but the police come to shut down the gambling room and arrest her after she tries to run down the sidewalk with a stroller. Since it is a Friday the judge is away and Connie will have to stay in jail for the weekend. Dale gets Cece and gives her to Mary. Audrey finds out about the gambling room and Georgie working there, leading to tension. Jim and George break that bit over dinner as both couples discuss extended family members they have issues with. Meanwhile, the arrest makes Sheldon learn of the gambling room as he was the only one in the Cooper family that never knew. Missy pranks him by saying there is a dead body under Mary’s prayer garden in the backyard, and has him dig for it.
* * *
GEORGE JR.: Hey, little girl.
In a few minutes, you’re gonna be legitimate.
You saying she’s illegitimate?
Not me, just, you know, everybody.
If you want to smack him, I’ll hold the baby.
Nah, it’s okay. Well, just in case.
[laughs] MARY: Wait! Wait!
What are they doing here?
MEEMAW: I told them, and you can’t smack me ’cause I’m holding the baby.
Did we miss it?
No, we’re still waiting.
I told you we didn’t need to run.
I know you’re mad at me, and I am sorry, but can we please be a part of this wedding?
Yes, please. I only have one brother.
What about Sheldon?
Yeah.
Fine.
[exhales]: Oh.
Cooper-McAllister?
Right here.
You’re up.
AUDREY: Wait! Wait.
Wasn’t me.
It was me. I called your dad.
Oh, that’s a long hallway.
And those steps in front?
Brutal.
AUDREY: Please, let us be part of this.
What do you think?
Oh, I think we’re thinking the same thing.
You can stay.
[sighs]
Come on.
Are you gonna be okay?
Yeah, yeah. Maybe.
Aww.
What’s wrong?
No, it’s just, I wanted to walk you down the aisle, but there’s no aisle.
Um, hang on. [softly]: Come on.
♪ ♪
Thank you.
Take care of my little girl.
Yes, sir.
All right.
All right. Let’s get started.
Could you show a little respect and stand up?
One of those. George Marshall Cooper Jr., do you take Amanda Elizabeth McAllister to be your lawfully wedded wife?
I do.
LYNDON: Amanda Elizabeth McAllister, do you take George Marshall Cooper Jr. To be your lawfully wedded husband?
I do.
LYNDON: By the power vested in me by the great state of Texas, I now pronounce you husband and wife. [laughs] You may kiss the bride.
[applause]
You can sit down now.
♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
[music playing softly]
I can’t believe they gave us the train car.
Well, my dad slipped the conductor five bucks.
Classy.
So, what are you thinking?
Couple buckets of spaghetti for the table?
Sure. Y-Yeah… and we’re gonna split the tab.
It’s all right, I got it.
Uh, Jim, come on.
We didn’t pay for a wedding, we can spring for some spaghetti.
I-In a bucket.
We know.
I-I’m happy to chip in.
No, no. No, this is between me and him. And we’re splitting it.
Dad, we’re poor. Let him pay.
We are not poor.
Wouldn’t matter either way.
But we’re not.
[glass clinking]
[clears throat] I would like to propose a toast to Mandy and Georgie. Your relationship started out with lies and deceit, which usually happens later on in marriage.
Where is this going?
But you two got it out of the way right up front. So I think the odds are in your favor, for having a lifetime of love and happiness. To Mandy and Georgie, and CeeCee.
Way to bring it home, baby.
I can do heartfelt.
Hello.
Oh, good, you’re here. Oh, thank you for bringing him, Dr. Linkletter.
Well, you hungry? Have a seat.
Well, I do have a half can of tuna waiting for me at home, but what the hay?
So, you and my brother got married and no one invited me?
Sorry, it was kind of a last-minute thing.
No, I was thanking you. I hope that, someday, my sister won’t invite me to her wedding.
I won’t.
Thank you.
Here we are. Grab a shovel and dig in.
There you go.
I spent the summer in Italy once.
Bringing back memories?
No.
[glass clinking]
Amanda, Georgie, since your father and I didn’t get to give you a proper wedding, we’d like to pay for a honeymoon.
[gasps] Wow, really?
Should we offer to split…?
Mr. McAllister, really appreciate it, but that’s not necessary.
First of all, no more of this “Mr. McAllister” stuff, okay? It’s Jim.
Thank you, Jim. Uh, very kind, Jim. This feels weird, Jim.
So, where are we going?
What would you say to an all-expenses-paid weekend at Dollywood?
Shut up.
MANDY: Oh, my God.
Thank you.
That’s amazing.
Oh, I’m definitely getting married.
And I won’t be going.
Oh, and I can watch the baby.
Or me, the one who just paid for your honeymoon.
You two are on probation. I don’t want to come home and find out there was an exorcism. Connie, will you do it?
I would love to.
Wait a minute, it’s my house. Don’t I have a say?
No.
I don’t have a say.
I got to go open up the gambling room. Can you watch her for about an hour?
I just had coffee and a bowl of Raisin Bran. Next hour is spoken for.
You could’ve just said no.
I’m trying to keep the romance alive.
Hey, why don’t we look around for wedding rings in Tennessee?
Hmm. Maybe they sell them at Dollywood.
If it’s all the same, I’d rather not get my wedding ring at the same place they sell corn dogs.
Oh, corn dogs. We’re definitely getting corn dogs.
[Laughs]
You know, through all the rush, we didn’t really talk about it, but are you gonna take my name?
Is it important to you?
I don’t know, I’d kind of like people to know we’re a family. You know, the Coopers, Georgie and Mandy Cooper.
[laughs softly]
I’d go to a barbecue at their house.
[both chuckle]
Well, why don’t you take my name?
I’m trying to have a serious conversation, and you’re making jokes.
Why is it a joke?
Maybe that’d fly in New York City, but in Texas, I’d get my ass kicked.
Maybe we should move to New York City.
Okay, there’s just some things you don’t joke about.
And the thing you need to know about slot machines is that they provide the house with a 17% edge.
And that is a whole lot of edge for Meemaw and your daddy. Huh? Ooh, that ain’t good.
Excuse me.
I don’t work here!
[siren whoops]
OFFICER [over P.A.]: Connie Tucker? Please stop running.
[siren wailing]
GILROY: [gasps] Peekaboo. Oh, yeah, that’s funny. [gasps] Peekaboo.
Hey.
Took you long enough.
Yeah, I’m old. I had to go to the bathroom. Why are you handcuffed? Why is she handcuffed?
She’s a flight risk.
What is she talking about?
I was just taking the baby for a walk, and Cagney and Lacey here decided that I was evading arrest.
Oh, Connie. H-How much is bail?
Won’t know till Monday.
What?
Judge left town for the weekend.
Well, get him back.
Can’t. Gone fishing.
Beautiful day for it. Where’d he go?
Dale.
Right.
You mean I got to sit here till Monday?
Well, you’ll be back in a cell. Where all the bad people go.
[coos]
Oh, my God. Dale, take the baby home.
Me? Why don’t you call Mary?
The last thing I want is for her to know about this.
I’ll watch the baby if you like.
There you go, problem solved.
No. Take the baby.
[groans] Yeah. Well, is there anything I can bring you?
Yeah, a cake with a file in it.
[laughs]: Good one.
DALE: Thank you, Officer. Can I give the flight risk a kiss goodbye?
That’s up to her.
I’m good.
She’s good. Okay, CeeCee, here we go.
Bye, baby.
Next rest stop, let’s call and check on CeeCee.
She’s fine. She’s with my meemaw.
Yeah, you’re right, I’m worrying for nothing.
All right, let’s get you to your cell. So, that beautiful little girl is your granddaughter?
Great-granddaughter.
I never locked up a great-grandma before.
Well, isn’t this your lucky day?
[phone ringing]
Sheldon, phone.
187 IQ and I’m a receptionist.
[sniffles]
Cooper residence. Hello, Mr. Ballard. He’s here. May I tell him what this is concerning? I may not? Very well. Dad, it’s Mr. Ballard.
I’ll pick it up in here.
Which you could’ve done to begin with.
Hey, Dale, what’s up? You’re kidding.
Till Monday?
What’s going on?
Shh!
Well, is there anything I can do? Yeah, I know a couple lawyers.
Who needs a lawyer?
Meemaw’s in jail.
Hang up.
What’s she in jail for?
I’m not sure. Some kind of room got shut down.
Oh, the gambling room.
What?
Yeah, in the back of the laundromat.
Isn’t that illegal?
Yeah, that’s why she’s in jail.
She tried to run? [chuckles] Oh, that… Oh, that makes me so happy.
♪ Met her on the mountain ♪
♪ There I took her life ♪
♪ Met her on the mountain ♪
[fussing]
♪ Stabbed her with my knife.
[crying]
Yeah, it’s kind of a sad one. Yeah. You’ll like this one.
♪ Delia, oh, Delia ♪
♪ Delia all my life ♪
♪ If I hadn’t shot poor Delia. ♪
Here you go. This is for you.
♪ Hey, yeah, baby ♪
♪ Shake it on down. ♪
[cooing] That’s the one. That’s the one.[doorbell rings] We got company.
Hey, Mare.
George told me about the arrest.
Oh. Yeah. Boy, I know how to pick ’em, huh?
Is she okay?
Oh, yeah, she’s a tough old bird.
Well, let me take the baby off your hands till the kids come back.
Well, but we’re having such a good time.
Dale.
She likes me.
Dale.
[sighs] Oh. Fine. You get the baby, I’ll grab her Binky. You know, she really does like me.
So, here’s a question.
What?
You think CeeCee’s gonna be an only child?
I don’t know. For a while she is. Why?
Well, since we’re man and wife now, we got to make plans.
I’m almost back in my old jeans. This can wait.
Well, I’m just saying, I liked having a brother and sister. Don’t you like having a brother?
Eh.
So, y’all didn’t get along?
I picked on him. I made him cry a lot.
That’s what I did with Sheldon. Don’t you want CeeCee to have that?
Just so you know, my plans include more than making babies so they can pick on each other. I want a career.
I support that.
And maybe go back to school.
Curveball, but okay. I don’t have to go back to school, do I?
Oh, no, sweetheart.
Thank you.
[doorbell rings]
Hey there. Alice, isn’t it?
Audrey.
Right. What can I do for you, Audrey?
I came to visit my granddaughter.
Not here.
Where is she?
Well, as they say in Canada, she’s “oot and a boot.”
So, if I’m to understand correctly, our meemaw’s been running a criminal enterprise.
Cool, huh?
No, it is most certainly not cool. On the one hand, people need to pay for their crimes. On the other, if Meemaw’s in prison, who’s gonna smell like Bengay and kiss me on the head?
She’s an old lady, they’re not gonna lock her up forever.
I sure hope not. Are there any other family secrets that I don’t know about?
Um… actually, yes.
Tell me.
No, you couldn’t handle it.
Now I have to know.
Okay. You ever wonder why Mom made that prayer garden in the backyard?
To pray.
You’re so naive.
[whispers]: There’s a dead body under there.
Whose?
I’ve already said too much.
[doorbell rings]
Hey, Audrey.
Where’s Mary?
She’s, uh… [clears throat] Mare!
Oh. Hi.
Why do you have the baby?
Um… It’s kind of a long story.
Why do you have the baby?
My mother was arrested, she’s in jail.
I can’t get a straight answer from anybody in this family.
A gambling room?
Yes.
And she’d been bribing the authorities?
I wouldn’t use that word, but there were donations made to the authorities.
And Georgie worked there?
Well, he also runs the laundromat. Very legitimate.
For money laundering.
And regular laundering.
[softly]: I can’t believe this. What kind of a family has my daughter married into?
To be clear, I did not condone any of this.
Doesn’t matter. This is a criminal environment, and I’m taking the baby.
[gasps] Over my dead body. CeeCee is my granddaughter, too, and she is perfectly safe here.
Well, as long as she’s here, I’m here.
Fine. Are you hungry? I have half a bucket of spaghetti in the fridge.
I could eat.
All right, I’ll go heat it up.
[scoffs] What? You think I’m gonna take the baby and run?
Yes. Would you like some garlic bread?
That sounds nice.
You know, we should really start looking for our own place.
You think?
I mean, the gambling room’s doing great, and since we put in the roulette wheel, we’re basically printing money.
[sighs] Sure would like to have my own bathroom.
[sighs] Your own bathroom, one of them walk-in shoe closets like on Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. And carpet everywhere, even in the kitchen.
That’s a terrible idea.
‘Cause of spilling and crumbs, sure. Point is, I want to spoil you, so whatever you want.
♪ ♪
Well, right now, I just want you.
Really? Now?
Yeah.
Hot damn.
Just so you know, I promised my dad I’d use condoms.
MANDY [chuckles]: Good.
[car door closes]
Now what?
[sighs] Hey.
Did you escape?
Nah, they just brought me over to pick up my pills and pj’s.
Oh, that’s nice.
Are you drunk?
Uh, yeah, it sure feels like it.
And where’s the baby?
Don’t worry, she’s not here.
Where is she?
Mary’s got her.
So she knows about me?
Yeah.
[siren whoops]
My chariot awaits.
DALE: Oh. Did you have diner?
They ordered in some pizza from Del Bonos.
That sounds good. I had cold spaghetti.
[pills rattling]
MEEMAW: All right. Well, I’ll see you Monday.
Well, they have visiting hours. I can come tomorrow morning.
Not till 1:00.
Oh, I see. My game’s on. So, how about 4:30 or 5:00?
I’ll see you Monday.
All right. See ya.
[door opens, closes]
Well, why does she get pizza? I want pizza.
Thanks for coming by.
Yeah, what’s the situation?
Well, right now it’s kind of a standoff. They’re eating spaghetti, and Mary’s holding the baby hostage.
All right. What’s our play?
Well, I figured we’ll be dealing with each other for the rest of our lives, so we got to keep things civil.
I’m with you.
[stammers] Let me start by saying, you are a pleasure.
[chuckles]: Oh, back at you.
And your daughter is a keeper.
And your son is a fine young man.
Thank you. So, you ready to do this?
I’m right behind you.
♪ ♪
Hey, Mare, look who stopped by.
[crickets chirping]
[clock ticking]
Mmm, it’s good coffee. Is that Folgers?
Maxwell House.
JIM: Ah, sure. Good to the last drop. Uh, Audrey, am I crazy, or didn’t we used to drink Maxwell House?
Yes.
Mm-hmm. Hmm. Why’d we change? It’s a mystery. [Chuckles]
Speaking of mysteries, Mary, did you ever find that earring you were looking for? [clears throat] Family heirloom just gone.
Maybe her mother stole it.
[exhales sharply] I am not holding the baby anymore, so you better watch it.
Audrey’s uncle was a bank robber.
Jim!
He’s in Leavenworth.
He’s my uncle by marriage.
Look, a-all I’m saying is every family’s got secrets, right?
We sure got some skeletons in the closet.
MARY: We do not. Other than my mother.
[breathes deeply] And?
[Mary sighs] My cousin Janine is a practicing witch, but that’s it.
Worships Satan.
[sighs heavily]
I got you beat. My brother William… [whispers]: He’s a Democrat. He voted for Mondale.
Aw, I’m so sorry.
JIM: Mm. Actually, feels good to talk about it.
[crickets chirping]
Are you sure there’s a body down here?
Oh, yeah, keep digging.
ADULT SHELDON: I’d like to tell you I found something that night, but for once you all might be ahead of me.
