The Boys
Season 4 – Episode 6
Episode title: Dirty Business
Original release date: July 4, 2024
Plot: Butcher forces Sameer to replicate and enhance the virus to be able to kill Homelander. Tek Knight hosts a party at his mansion with Neuman and The Seven (minus The Deep and Black Noir II) in attendance. The Boys infiltrate the party by disguising Hughie as the Supe Webweaver. The Deep tells Black Noir II that he must kill to be equal to his predecessor. Worried about Hughie, Annie, M.M. and Kimiko enter the mansion as Tek Knight discovers his identity. Annie encounters Firecracker and sedates her. M.M. shoots Sage in the head before he has a panic attack; A-Train saves M.M. by rushing him to the hospital and Sage survives. Annie and Kimiko arrive to save Hughie as Tek Knight tortures him in his Tek Cave. They empty Tek Knight’s bank accounts to force him to reveal that Homelander and Sage plan to use his prisons as internment camps, before he is strangled to death by his butler Elijah. Following Sage’s damage, Homelander and Neuman convince the congressmen to ally against Singer. The next day, Firecracker tells Homelander that Annie was at the party and he realizes that the mole is still alive. The two become intimate when she feeds him her breast milk. When Sameer reveals that enhancing the virus could make it extremely contagious and potentially kill every Supe on Earth, Butcher is pressured by Joe to continue, but discovers he is a hallucination.
* * *
[Butcher] The answer to all our prayers.
A virus that kills Supes.
[Frenchie] Somebody’s been running tests.
Holy shit.
Let’s go.
Sameer, is the virus gone?
[Butcher] That’s the only dose.
So we inject it into your dead buddy over here, to infect the crazy fucking flying sheep.
Where’s Sameer?
[FBSA agent] We couldn’t find Dr. Shah.
She knew the difference between right and wrong.
That baby killer!
[grunting]
[Sage] You set me up
and you fell for it.
[Homelander] What’s your next step?
[Sage] The world ripped down, rebuilt in your image.
Jesus fucking Christ, are you serious?
Shh.
[Homelander] We recently found a leak.
I’m still gonna fuck your wife.
[grunts]
[Hugh Sr.] There’s something wrong with me.
I don’t know what to do!
I love you so much.
[Hughie crying]
[Frenchie] Some sins deserve eternal damnation.
I have committed murders.
We don’t belong with decent people.
We are monsters so other people don’t have to be.
[Sameer] You chopped off my fucking leg!
You’ll be back to work in no time.
What work?
[Butcher] You’re gonna make us
some more of that virus.
Wakey-wakey, eggs and bakey, motherfucker.
[groans]
Now listen up, son.
We been awfully patient with you…
…but it’s time to stop fucking about and get the job done.
[gags, exhales]
Mary’s little lamb is starting to stink.
I could just bash your fucking head in, jog your memory.
Or, alternatively… you just give us a list of what you need to extract the virus.
You cut off my fucking leg, you chain me here… For what?
[panicked groan]
[Butcher] Listen, mate. I’m the only thing
that’s standing between you and a murderball game at the Y.
You don’t understand, I can’t.
I can’t. Vicky, Zoe… I can’t.
[screams]
Could just send you back to them in a fucking bucket,
you don’t do whatever the fuck we say.
[coughing]
You all right?
Yeah, right as rain.
You got a week.
And make it strong enough to top Homelander.
A week? This could take months!
A week.
[sobs]
Don’t let him fall asleep this time.
[jarring music playing]
To my right, your left, is the famous Beresford Hotel
out of where Ralph Fiennes’s Chris Marshall pursued
JLo’s maid Marisa, asking if any part of their love was real.
[guide continues indistinctly]
[Daphne] You know, this has got to be a health code violation.
[Hughie] It’s what he wanted.
My God, did he love Maid in Manhattan.
[sighs] Man, that movie sucks.
It’s so bad.
Right?
It’s so bad.
[both chuckling]
I just feel like maybe I shouldn’t leave, you know?
You know, you can call me anytime, I can come in same day…
Yeah, but people back home really need their Voughtality beauty care, right?
Really, I’m…
I’m fine.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Is she okay?
[Hughie] Kimiko? Our friend Frenchie
just turned himself in for a bunch of murders he committed
for this Russian mob boss,
but Kimiko’s upset that he didn’t talk to her about it first, so…
Who the fuck are your friends?
Abortion is murder!
Abortion is murder!
Hey, fuck off, asshole!
Hughie, Hughie…
Hey, stop, stop, please, please, please.
Okay, sorry. I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I am so sorry, Daphne, I’m so sorry.
That man is a piece of shit, dear.
[laughs softly]
Folks, this way.
That’s not part of the tour. [chuckles]
[indistinct chatter]
[officer] Patterson.
Villanueva family. Davies.
Line up for the next visitor shuttle.
Inmate’s name and DIN?
Inmate refused visitation.
Next.
[wistful music playing]
♪ ♪
[rock music playing]
♪ USA… ♪
Hope y’all are having a blessed day.
Cameron Coleman has taken a sabbatical, and I’m tickled to announce
that I’m filling in as the evening news anchor.
So without further ado, our top story…
are Jewish space lasers brainwashing you into joining their shuls?
Our story tonight begins with Jerry Brown,
the Rand Corporation and the Manischewitz kosher…
[app chimes]
[gentle music plays]
[app voice] …let your intention connect
with an almost affectionate attention
toward the breath.
[inhales]
[exhales]
[phone ringing]
[growls]
[A-Train over phone] Hey, this is so fucked…
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down.
[Mother’s Milk] Where are you?
Toronto, so we could talk.
They killed Cameron Coleman because they thought that he was the fucking leak.
Oh, shit.
Listen, I can’t do this shit anymore, man.
I’m done!
All right.
No one ever said this would be easy.
Think about your brother, your nephews…
They’d be so proud of you, man.
Who cares what my family thinks if I’m already fucking dead?
Calm down.
Now walk me through everything.
And let’s process this shit together, all right?
This is so fucked!
So before Cameron got beaten to death,
Homelander was seen putting Supes together like a…
An army.
Mm-hmm.
And then A-Train saw Tek-Knight talking to Sage.
Looked like they were planning something…
You want to talk to Tek-Knight.
Now, he’s having a Federalist Society party tonight at his estate.
[Annie] I cannot believe that this is about
to come out of my mouth, but… [sighs]
…we could use Butcher.
Have you heard from him?
Motherfucker’s MIA.
[Annie] Hey.
Maybe you should sit this out. You know?
You’ve just been through so much. With your dad…
I’m fine.
Focusing on work is exactly what I need to do right now, okay?
Just trust me.
Okay.
Okay. So, how are we supposed to sneak into an alt-right cocktail party?
Thought you’d never ask.
Webweaver?
[♪ Tone-Loc: “Wild Thing”]
[sniffing]
I know you.
Where’s the limey?
Don’t worry about all that. I got your medicine.
Usually Beardy McBritish wants some dirt in exchange, but…
I’m fresh out.
Unless there’s another way I can pay?
Wink-wink.
On the house, for being a loyal CI.
[groans]
Yo. I’m-I’m, I’m pretty fucked up, no cap.
Would you mind doing the honors?
Fuck you mean?
Shoot it up my pooper, dawg.
Motherfucker, you done lost your mind.
There’s some lube on the table here.
Squeeze bottle, not the pump.
The blue one on the right. With the water base.
No fucking way.
A.G., A.G.
[groaning]
I’ll boof that shit later.
♪ Wild thing, wild thing… ♪
♪ She love to do…
Fuck.
Oh, yeah, really get it up in there, dawg.
[grunts softly]
Oh, yo, yo! [shouts]
What?
That’s my web hole!
Ohh, back up, back it up, back it up.
Oh. Fuck.
[groaning]
Oh. Fuck.
Oh. Oh…
All right.
[panting]
Ooh.
[farts]
[grunts]
Oh. Yo. My bad.
Hey.
Uh…
You good?
Want some Purell or…? Okay, yep. Coming in. Coming in.
There you go.
Okay.
Ain’t enough Purell in the fucking world.
How, uh… how long’s he gonna be out for?
With as much Rohypnol I shot up his ass, at least 48 hours.
Get his pants.
[beat-heavy music playing]
[guests chattering indistinctly]
[Tek-Knight] There’s the big man!
The myth, the legend, the symbol of America.
[chuckling]
[guests cheering]
Please. We’re all patriots here.
Good evening, sir. How are you?
This is Ryan, my son.
[ambient music playing]
How’s that gavel, Mr. Speaker?
Well, it, uh, might’ve taken 18 rounds of voting, but we got there,
didn’t we?
[laughs]
You know, sir, it’s humbling
to see your commitment to America.
Greatest country on Earth.
Can’t wait to see you inherit The Seven one of these days.
[chuckles]
Those are mighty big boots to fill.
Yeah.
[Tek-Knight] Oh, Captain…
my captain.
It is such an honor to have you here.
I mean, the two top heroes together.
Can’t you just smell the team-up?
You know, Sage and I might need you for the moment,
but let’s get one thing straight…
there is no team-up.
We’re not equals.
You’re pathetic.
You can’t even fly, for God’s sakes.
Come on, buddy.
[Tek-Knight laughing]
Ah! Oh, what a cutup.
♪ ♪
[Sage] What part of
“you’re an idiot child not welcome at the adult table” do you not understand?
Oh, I thought you knew everything.
Tek Knight invited me.
We go way back.
It’s so good to see you here.
…and The Whole Truth got picked up for another season on Vought+.
It’s a hit.
Must be, if you got all this.
No, you…
you don’t get this from entertainment money.
This is real money.
Eleven generations’ money.
Oh.
The Vernon family started out as slave catchers.
Now we own more private prisons than any other company in the U.S. of A.
And you sure know how to fill them.
From snout to tail, I catch, house,
and rehab criminals, and then I catch them
all over again.
[laughs]
You know, I bet A-Train here would’ve given my great-great-granddaddy
a run for his money. Ah?
[Firecracker] Oh.
But we would’ve caught you.
[Firecracker] Ooh. [laughs]
[chuckling]
I guess we’ll never know.
[intriguing music playing]
[Mother’s Milk] Come on out, kid.
[Hughie] You guys are gonna laugh.
No one is gonna laugh.
[groans]
[ragged exhale]
[chuckling]
Guys, come on. You-you promised.
[Annie] Oh, my God.
[Hughie] Okay, you know what?
Ah!
Fuck you guys.
[coughs]
How did a junkie like Webweaver score an invite to this anyway?
Don’t know. But A-Train said he’s on the list.
God, why does he wear it so tight? [sniffs]
Smells like ass sweat and broken dreams in here.
Good, it’ll hide your scent from Tek Knight.
You don’t want to give him any tells.
Wait. Tek Knight has super smell?
Yeah. Smell, vision, taste, touch.
He’s like Sherlock Holmes on meth.
I don’t like this.
He’s gonna make Hughie.
[Mother’s Milk] How else are we gonna find out what Sage is cooking?
Just got to work fast, kid.
Take these bugs, put ’em all over the party,
and lure Tek Knight back here as soon as you can.
Okay.
We’ll take care of the rest.
[Annie] Oh, God.
Okay. Comm check-ins every two minutes.
Just say something, okay?
Anything.
Yeah. Copy.
In Webweaver’s voice, motherfucker.
Uh… [imitates Webweaver] Copy, dawg.
Hey…
I’m fine.
All right? Trust me.
[Annie] Okay.
Ooh, that is… ripe.
[Elijah] Webweaver.
Master Knight’s expecting you.
He’ll be thrilled.
[clears throat] Yeah, uh, so am I, dawg.
Fuck, oh, fuck. The Seven are here.
[Mother’s Milk over earpiece] Just hurry up and plant the bugs, Hughie.
Oh, shit, I’m so sorry. I…
Jesus fucking…
Madam…
Vice President-elect.
Oh, shit.
[Hughie] Uh…
[suspenseful music playing]
Um…
Webweaver.
That’s quite a scent.
Webweaver!
[exclaims]
You made it.
Oh, it’s so good to meet you in person. Finally.
Feels like I already know you.
[Hughie] Yeah, I know. Me too.
No… cap?
Really, I’m honored that you would even consider the sidekick gig.
I know it’s a big change, but if tonight goes well…
…it’s yours.
Oh.
Uh, w-well, great.
Mm-hmm.
Um, that’s… great.
Well, you know, I’ve never been to an estate before.
Mm.
Um, do you guys have stables?
[Tek-Knight laughing]
Let’s get the tour started inside.
Okay? Come on. [chuckles]
[Hughie] Okay. Got it.
[Sage] What happened to you?
You look like you got ass-fucked by the business end of a hammer.
Well, maybe I don’t want to be at this CPAC nightmare
any more than they want me here.
There’s gonna be a little sidebar later on.
One percent of the one percent.
Sage here is going to lube them up with cognac and Montecristos,
and then convince them to commit a little high treason.
I’m sorry, what the fuck?
Why would I expose myself like that?
Because in this room is 38% of the U.S. GDP.
And if we have a shot in hell of pulling off the 25th Amendment, we need them.
Do you want to be el jefe or not?
Good. Now, you’re the virgin at prom.
Go get finger-popped.
Oh, hey.
You hear about Stan Edgar?
Well, what about him?
Well, apparently, he got released from prison.
Hmm. Details are fairly sketchy as to why.
How. But, yeah, he got out.
Hasn’t been seen since.
Well, he’s nothing if not slippery.
I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner.
He can’t hurt us.
Mm-hmm.
That’s why I went to the Safdies to direct.
[Mother’s Milk] Okay, Hughie, check in.
No more PG-13 bullshit.
Oh, wow, I love these, uh, these orchid prints
in your… stairway.
Oh, wow.
I love your study. So many books.
[Tek-Knight] Got the original Beecher Stowe Uncle Tom’s Cabin.
Cool.
Mm-hmm.
Cool, cool.
Now, look, uh, I don’t do this for just anybody, but, uh…
you want to see the Tek Cave?
The Tek Ca… Uh…
S-Sure, I mean, uh, fuck yeah, dawg.
Oh, it’s one of those pull-the-book, hidden-elevator-thingies.
Like in my movies.
[Hughie] Like in your movies.
Shit.
Huh.
[static]
Hughie.
[elevator bell dings]
[birds fluttering]
Oh, my God.
Uh…
Oh, wow.
[water dripping]
This is the Tek Cave. Cool, cool.
[Tek-Knight] Ah, you’ve met Elijah.
Raised me since I lost my parents.
He’s like a dad to me.
Isn’t that right, Elijah?
That’s correct, Master Knight.
There’s nothing greater than a father’s guiding hand.
You know?
That’s for sure.
Jesus. You didn’t get all the santorum off the gibbet cage!
It’ll be taken care of, sir.
[groans]
Most certainly.
[static]
We got to pull him out.
No, no, no. Look, j-just hold on.
[muffled groaning]
Uh…
[moaning]
[moaning]
Who is that?
That’s my last sidekick.
[pained moans]
I don’t like liars.
The whole culture down here is based on trust.
Huh.
[heart beating rapidly]
Are you agitated?
No, I’m fine.
I get it.
This is all a little vanilla for you.
But… don’t worry.
Tonight, we’re really gonna push ourselves…
[shaky inhale]…to your level.
[chains rattling]
[Laddio grunting]
[muffled speech]
[Deep] Hey. Dude.
Are you fucking nuts?
Put your mask back on.
G-Get out of his chair. What are you doing?
You know what’s funny? I hate sake.
But I’m supposed to follow some stupid Black ninja bullshit,
which makes no goddamn sense, by the way.
You ever meet a Black ninja?
Lower your voice.
There’s nobody here.
They left us like babies so they could go do important stuff.
We don’t matter.
Hey.
Speak for yourself. I’m doing a ton of important shit.
Yeah? Like what?
Need-to-know, bro. Need-to-fucking-know.
Fuck it. I’m done with all this shit.
You’re quitting?
What are you gonna do? Seven’s the biggest gig there is.
Look, I don’t understand Noir, okay?
You know there was nothing in his closet
but literally like seven file boxes of shitty Buster Beaver drawings?
Why’d he have that?
Who the fuck knows or cares?
[sighs] I’m going to Missouri tomorrow.
I booked Cirque de Vought’s new show, VIVANT! Music of the Bee Gees.
Three nights a week in Branson.
They’re gonna let me fly.
I can fly, did you know that?
Yeah, dude, we all know that. Look, why didn’t you just come to me?
About what?
Seriously? Dude.
[sighs] Man, me and the old Noir?
We were like great bros, like real bros.
[sighs] Give me this.
[glassware clinking]
Few years ago, Noir cleared out an entire Indonesian fishing village.
Vought Fresh Farms was expanding their palm oil plantation,
but the locals were bitching ’cause they needed the river
to survive or whatever the fuck.
Noir “cancelled” two dozen of ’em.
Came back with a raging hard-on for a week.
[chuckles]
No, dude, see, what you’re not getting
is how horny killing made the old Noir.
That was his whole thing.
But I don’t really like violence.
[inhales, sighs]
Look, I know this is hard to imagine, but…
some people laugh at me.
[chuckles] It’s crazy, right?
Yeah.
But you know what I realized?
When I crush someone’s nose into the back of their skull
or beat ’em so bad that they’ll never walk again?
[chuckles] They’re not laughing anymore.
They show respect.
Violence is power.
I’m starting to get why it gave Noir so much chub.
[app voice] Let your intention connect.
[Annie] Oh, something is wrong.
Something is really, really wrong.
We should’ve never sent him in there.
Everything that’s been going on with his dad, I mean…
Fuck!
M.M.!
Annie, I hear you.
But what if we go in there and we blow that man’s cover?
Homelander is in there.
Sage, Firecracker, Neuman.
I’m going in.
Kimiko?
I’m going to move clarity forward through mindfulness.
[equipment rattling]
And a gang of halothane to go with it.
[Butcher retching]
[coughing]
[panting]
[grunts]
[groans]
Are you all right?
I’m fine.
How you chopped off an innocent man’s leg…
…does that sound fine to you?
It’s the only way…
I’m gonna get a proper crack at Homelander.
Have you talked to Ryan?
Are you even trying to get him out anymore?
Or is… this just the same old bloodlust all over again?
Jesus Christ, you’re doing me fucking head in.
I’m trying to save the bleedin’ world here.
Claret’s gonna get spilt.
[sighs]
I can’t do…
what needs to be done and keep you happy.
[Becca] Billy, come on.
I mean, “saving the world”? Really?
You’re gonna kill one Homelander…
…just to end up with another.
[quiet, haunting music playing]
[suspenseful music playing]
[distant indistinct chatter]
All right, split up,
stay connected, stay the fuck out of sight.
Actually, we know if the rape is legitimate.
The woman’s body has a way to reject that pregnancy.
A nationwide ban on abortion is just good policy.
[gasping, screaming]
Huh.
Tequila shots. Reposado. Keep ’em coming.
[chuckles]
I just had abortion mansplained to me by a guy
who refuses to be alone with any woman who isn’t his wife…
…or mistress.
I don’t know. I mean, cozying up to these people,
you’re fucking asking me to do the impossible here.
[light piano music playing]
[sighs] When I was 11, my grandma was diagnosed
with Stage 3 chronic lymphocytic leukemia.
God…
She had the biggest laugh, but she got so small so fast.
She was bed-ridden.
The doctors didn’t care about saving some old ex-Black Panther
and they told my parents there was nothing to be done.
I stayed up the next three nights and discovered a cure.
Presented my research to those satisfied fat crackers,
they patted me on the head, said I was adorable and laughed at me.
Grandma died screaming in pain.
I could cure cancer, reverse global warming,
but what’s the point?
Humans are animals.
And the lines at Voughtland are too long as it is.
Why are you telling me this?
Because you remember what it’s like,
being a little girl who no one fucking listens to.
And because fuck them all.
The only way women like us have ever gotten what we deserved…
…one hand in their pockets while the other slits their fucking throats.
Now… [sighs]
You in or out?
[muffled] Mm. Oh.
It’s a great party, huh?
Y’all see all the free shrimp they got?
Firecracker, it’s kind of a private conversation.
But I’m sure the bar has some SunnyD and Everclear.
[Homelander] Where is our host?
Mm. I have not seen him in a while.
[♪ Gerry Rafferty: “Baker Street”] ♪ Happy ♪
♪ Just one more year…
[Elijah] Master Knight.
[Tek-Knight] It’s your favorite. German chocolate.
For the texture against the bare cheeks, right?
[chuckles]
♪ ♪
[moaning]
Okay. Go.
Okay. Uh…
Okay.
[grunts]
[Tek-Knight] Sit.
[Hughie grunts]
Mm-hmm.
[Tek-Knight] Yeah.
[Hughie] Like this?
Yeah.
Moosh it.
[straining] Now…
fart.
Oh, that’s… That’s okay, I don’t really…
[chuckles] I don’t really have to, dawg.
♪ About buying some land ♪
♪ He’s gonna give up the booze and the one-night stands…
Yeah, I mean, I’m fine, though.
This is fine.
[grunting]
[gasping]
[farting]
Oh, that’s fucking hot.
♪ Oh, you’re never gonna stop moving…
Ugh. You started without me?
[Tek-Knight] No, no, no, no.
You are just in time.
[Ashley laughs]
[both moan]
I left a present for you in the changing room.
Mm.
And no, it’s not scat.
This time. [chuckles]
[moans]
♪ You’re goin’ ♪
♪ You’re goin’ home ♪♪
[Tek-Knight] Webweaver,
clean up.
We are just getting started.
[Hughie] Oh, man.
[door opens in distance]
[door closes]
[Kessler] Oh, goddamn.
You really do look like warmed-up shit.
Oh, go fuck yourself.
Already did. Twice today.
Look at how my hand cramped up.
[both chuckle]
You know, we got to give Sameer credit.
Little fucker’s a tough nut.
He’ll crack.
Ain’t got no choice.
None of us do.
What’s that supposed to mean?
[exhales]
[sighs]
Man, you want to know what was harder for me than going off on that last tour?
Coming home.
Applebee’s with Tanya.
Helping Joe Jr. with his trig.
Fucking towel shopping.
[scoffs]
[chuckles]
Everywhere I looked, I saw the faces,
the ruined faces of those men that you and me tortured and killed.
But see, I just… I couldn’t square up
who I was at home with the shit that I’d done.
And then, one night, over…
boneless fucking buffalo chicken wings,
it came to me.
Crystal.
That guy that was taking out the trash
and watching SportsCenter, that wasn’t me.
The real me?
The real me likes to hear them scream.
So, now, tell me, Billy…
who’s the real you?
[♪ Christopher Cross: “Sailing”]
♪ Sailing takes me away…
[Hughie] Should we get back to the party?
Oh, this is the party, baby.
When that shit upstairs is over, the real movers will come down here.
They’ll want to play with you, too.
♪ Just a dream and the wind…
[laughs]
♪ Soon I will be free…
[laughing]
I’m gonna sit my swollen clit on your stupid masked face
and piss like a skunk,
and I just had asparagus.
[grunts softly]
You want that.
[Hughie] Yes?
Yes.
[screaming]
I said, you want that, Pain Slut.
Yes! Yes, Mistress… [screams]
[laughing]
I’m gonna bite your dick off and cook it.
I am 100% a cannibal.
[Hughie screams] Stop! No more. Uncle.
♪ Sailing…
If Webweaver wants you to stop, he’ll use his safe word.
♪ To where I’ve always heard it could be…
[Hughie grunts]
[laughs]
[Ashley] I’m gonna feel your pink asshole
around my wrist until you shit.
[Hughie] Spiderweb!
What?
[Hughie] Oh, sorry, sorry.
I just like to shout stuff out while I’m being tickled.
I’m so fucking turned on right now.
[grunts]
[laughs]
Yes.
[Hughie shrieking]
Yeah.
Oh, it’s getting pretty swampy down there.
[Hughie] Tarantula!
[exhales]
[sniffles]
[both gasp]
The fuck?
I’m not here for you…
Oh, I don’t give two shits what you’re here for.
Oh, I should call Homelander right now to come and laser your tits off.
Fuck.
Why don’t you come over here and try and sucker punch me now, bitch?
Look, you were right.
No, don’t go trying to apologize to me.
I’m about to change your fucking life.
I’m sorry for what I did to you when we were kids…
Let me guess, that was Starlight, right?
And that’s not you anymore?
No. No.
I tried to run away from Starlight, tried to leave her behind,
like she was a different person, but she’s me.
She’s all me, and I said
those fucking awful, awful things to you.
And if I’m being honest, to other girls too, and I… [inhales]
Look, it doesn’t forgive you for being a cunt for what you did.
But for my end of things…
…I’m sorry.
I am. I am so sorry.
[gasps]
You fucking whore.
[panting]
[Ashley] Oh, John Henry!
[♪ America: “You Can Do Magic”]
[moaning]
♪ Anything that you desire…
[clapping]
[Hughie moaning]
♪ You’re the one who can put out the fire…
Mmm.
♪ When you cast your spell…
God, you still got it, mommy.
You still got it.
[exhales]
Why don’t you go get changed, huh?
Head back upstairs, replenish your fluids?
I’ll be there in a minute.
Yes.
[Hughie mumbles]
Oh, thank you so much.
I’m fine. Everything’s fine.
[groans softly]
You having a good time?
[Hughie] Oh, yeah.
Yeah?
Yeah. Just so much dried cum.
You just, uh,
you tap my undies, they’ll shatter like peanut brittle, man.
[groans]
Hey, so, did I get the gig?
♪ With a word, you dry my tears…
[Hughie grunts] Damn it.
[Tek-Knight] Just one last thing.
What’s your safe word?
[Hughie] Uh…
Uh, you know, uh, I’m actually, I’m probably gonna save that
for something I-I really can’t handle, but yeah, I’m good.
You’re trembling.
[Hughie] Mm-mm.
Your body’s riddled by horripilation.
Come on.
It’s the thing that you love the most.
Say it.
[Hughie] Lube?
[shouting]
[panting]
I know you. You’re Hughie Campbell.
Fuck!
This is actually great news.
Not only am I gonna get points for catching you,
but before I let the big guy know that you’re down here…
Wait, wait, wait a minute, wait a minute,
wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, um…
you were, hey, you were my favorite hero as a kid.
Okay? You don’t want to do this.
Everybody always has the same holes.
Over and over again,
it gets so fucking boring.
Please, I looked up to you.
[Tek-Knight] Sometimes,
you just got to make your own.
And then fuck them.
[straining]
No! [screams]
Where’s Annie?
Hughie said orchids, right?
[gasps]
Ah. Don’t you fucking move.
Kimiko, find Tek-Knight’s stupid fucking secret passage book.
All I have to do is scream.
Be the last thing you do.
You’re smart, but you ain’t bulletproof.
But if you kill me, you’d have to look Janine in the eye.
I said stop fucking moving.
Doesn’t she have enough problems?
Expelled.
[books thumping]
Told a boy to “eat a bag of dicks”
and then broke his arm?
You’ve been watching my daughter?
I mean, she gets that from you.
Chip off the old block.
Shut the fuck up.
She has anger issues.
Early signs of OCD. You see that, right?
I said shut up.
You’ve cursed the poor girl.
No.
[inhales raggedly]
[high-pitched ringing]
[dark music playing]
[man] Look, this is a white, Christian nation
founded on white, Christian values.
Church and state are the same thing.
And we need Supreme Court justices who will protect our values,
no matter how much they cost.
[smooth jazz music playing]
Y’all are supposed to be undercover.
What the fuck did you do?
Shit. Damn.
Oh, fuck no. I’m not taking him.
You’re gonna get me murdered.
Just try it, bitch.
[scoffs]
Get the door.
[Annie] M.M.?
What the hell just happened?
[♪ 10cc: “The Things We Do for Love”] ♪ Ooh, you made me love you ♪
♪ Ooh…
[grunts]
[whimpering]
[Tek-Knight] No matter what happens,
I want you to keep fighting.
[screaming]
[elevator bell chimes]
♪ Agree to disagree ♪
♪ But disagree to part…
[Annie] Oh, my God.
Hughie. Hughie. Are you okay?
Hey, hey, I’m here, I’m here, I’m here.
Oh, fuck. You’re okay.
[EMT] Hey!
Do me a favor, just go wait over here, okay? Good boy.
What is going on?
Hmm?
Tek-Knight, A-Train, Firecracker, they’re all M.I.A.,
and where the fuck have you been?
I once ate a whole bag of candy corns.
What?
In my mouth.
I ate them.
Sage, what the fuck…
[dark music playing]
What happened to you?
Brain damage.
But now, I could really go for a Crunchwrap Supreme
and a Sybian.
Hey, hey, hey. Look at me.
Hmm?
Get a grip on yourself right now.
Get a fucking grip. Right now. Come on, come on.
[mouths]
[breathes deeply]
[high-pitched ringing]
[ringing fades]
Fuck it.
Fuck it. I’ll do it myself.
Folks.
Thank you for coming.
I’m sure you’re wondering why we pulled you aside,
so let’s get right to it.
[sighs]
I think we can all agree that Robert Singer
is the greatest threat this nation has ever faced.
He is going to destroy this whole country.
You all met Ryan, my son.
For his sake, I cannot and I will not
let that stand.
Does she agree?
[Homelander] Of course. Especially her.
She’s not just eye candy.
No, no, Victoria here,
she’s an integral part of the plan.
She sees up close what a doddering slave to the woke mob Singer really is.
How great the threat really is.
So once he’s in office, we need to act.
We need to invoke the Twenty-fifth Amendment.
You’re-you’re talking about a coup.
No, I’m not.
I’m talking about saving this country.
Before Singer replaces us
with a bunch of transgender illegals that will do everything…
Save the boogeyman shit for the idiots watching VNN.
How do you propose to handle the Justice Department?
Well, they will all…
be our appointees.
Obviously.
And the military’s reaction?
Or OPEC.
How you gonna guarantee our oil reserves?
Of course there’s gonna be some birth pangs…
The shock to the markets would be total.
And what happens if civil servants resign
en masse?
With all due respect, sir, I think you got a little hitch in your giddy-up.
Who’s handling all this?
[stammers] Great question.
This is great. Great questions.
Truly. And, um, uh,
Sage. Sage, um…
…has the details.
Mmm.
[others murmuring]
Who’s handling all this?
Me.
I fucking am.
[chuckles] Look, I’m sure you’re all wondering
why I’m here tonight, instead of rimming out AOC,
while shouting, “Defund the police,” up her asshole. [chuckles]
But I’m here tonight
to tell you the truth.
The truth is America is not a democracy.
The word “democracy” makes people feel safe.
But the founders never trusted the masses, because the truth is,
the masses are fucking stupid.
Anyone who owns a “Live, Laugh, Love” mug
shouldn’t have a say in how a country is run.
People are a labor force
that need a kind, but firm hand.
There are no nations. There’s Apple, Exxon
and Berkshire Hathaway.
Corporations are the real superpowers here.
You should be able to operate without any regulation or restriction
whatsoever. After all, you’re billionaires.
You are smart enough to know what’s best.
Bottom line?
You support me, and that is what you’ll fucking get.
Hear, hear.
Hear, hear.
Hear, hear.
[sighs]
[man] Seems pretty solid.
[tense music plays]
[♪ Toto: “Rosanna”]
♪ Meet you all the way ♪
♪ Rosanna ♪
♪ Meet you all the way…
I’ve dreamt of having you down here to humiliate,
Starlight.
You’ve been secretly meeting with Sage.
Why?
You’re all so fucking dead when Homelander comes down here.
Do you know how fucking dead you all are?
[laughing]
Mm.
[screams] Ow!
[grunts] Ow!
Fuck!
Yeah.
Oh, fucking hurt me.
Oh!
[moaning]
Oh, yeah.
Squeeze my balls, come on.
Squeeze ’em.
How do you torture a masochist?
♪ Rosanna…
[shouting]
Laddio, get help, boy!
♪ Meet you all the way ♪
♪ Rosanna ♪
♪ Now she’s gone and I have to stay…
It’s…
all of his bank accounts.
Just needs a retinal scan.
Wait, what are you doing? No, no.
No, no, no. Don’t you fucking dare!
No. Ow!
[grunts]
[automated voice] Access granted.
[grunts] Fuck.
Okay. All right, let’s see, how do you
hurt a billionaire?
How about…
40 million to Elizabeth Warren’s Super PAC, how’s that sound?
No! Fuck you. I’ll kill you.
And 65 million to…
the Innocence Project.
Whore. You skunk pussy bitch!
I’ll fucking make you hurt.
I swear to fucking God.
Fuck you.
Fuck.
Ready to talk?
Eat shit!
100 million to Black Lives Matter.
No, not those people! Fuck you!
Fuck y… No! No, wait!
Wait, oh, uh, uh…
[stammering]
They made me a deal, okay? [stammers]
What deal?
He’ll fucking murder me.
[whimpering]
Do it.
No, please, please, please!
To use my prisons.
My prisons.
Homelander and Sage, they,
they need places across the country to put their…
dissidents. [stammers]
Look, I don’t know anything else.
Okay? That’s all.
He’s talking about internment camps.
[computer trilling]
[Tek-Knight straining]
[Annie] Hey!
Stop! What are you…?
Step back!
Now!
I raised this…
entitled piece of shit
from a little boy.
I listened to him moan about his career.
I cleaned cum
out of too many goddamn holes
to count.
But prison camps?
Go.
We’ll make it look like an accident.
He always admired David Carradine.
Thank you.
♪ Meet you all the way…
[Elijah] Zendaya.
The safe word.
It was “Zendaya.”
♪ Rosanna ♪♪
[Mother’s Milk] Heart attack, huh?
How bad is it, Doc?
Not quite.
Panic attack.
Folks mix it up all the time.
Consider this the universe’s warning, Mr. Milk.
Whatever you’re doing, stop it.
Take some downtime now.
Before you really have a heart attack.
[phone chimes]
[sighs]
Ma’am.
I’m sorry, but I just don’t think your inmate wants to see you.
[somber music playing]
♪ ♪
[door closes]
[footfalls echo]
[Homelander] Where were you last night?
Starlight was at the mansion.
What?
I chased her outside,
but the bitch got away.
She did?
Tek-Knight’s dead.
Probably Starlight and her friends did it.
[scoffs]
How do you think
they knew about the party?
Cameron Coleman wasn’t the leak.
So either Sage was lyin’ to you,
or she’s as useless as tits on a mouse.
I mean, fuck.
I heard about her performance last night, sir.
I just want you to know that I would…
So…
You’re the one who let Starlight get away.
So how do I know that you’re not the leak?
When you found me…
my podcast had…
I don’t know, a couple hundred fans. [chuckles softly]
You know, folks laughed.
Now I’m the fucking anchor
at VNN.
With millions of followers.
And they ain’t laughin’ no more.
I really don’t care…
Please! Just let me finish.
Now I have spent…
…my whole life
on the outside, looking in.
It was you…
…who threw that door open for me, sir.
You brought me in.
God, you have given me…
…everything.
You…
are everything
to me.
Uh…
What are you doing?
I am not sexually attracted to you.
No, this ain’t about sex.
No, this?
This is about loyalty.
[Homelander moans]
But you’re not pregnant.
There’s, um,
a long regimen of drugs a person can take
to make it happen.
It enlarges the heart just a tiny little bit.
You did this for me?
I’d do anything for you.
Anything.
That’s my boy.
[Homelander moans]
That’s my good little boy.
Mm.
[Neuman] Anyone who owns a “Live, Laugh, Love” mug
shouldn’t have a say in how a country is run.
People are a labor force.
They need a kind but firm hand…
[Annie] Do you think Vicky knows about the…
internment camps?
Christ. I knew shit was bad.
I just did not know how bad.
[Neuman] …any regulation or restriction whatsoever…
Ashley rubbed one out while she tickled my feet.
She said so many horrible things.
Oh, my God. Hughie.
What else did she do to you?
I’m not fine.
I’m really not fine.
I miss him, Annie. I miss my dad.
Oh, Hughie.
I’m so sorry. It’s okay.
I’m so sorry.
[breathing shakily]
[wheels rolling]
[Kessler] Well, looky here. Christmas came early, Sameer.
Nicked it off a French bloke.
Should be enough to get you started.
[coughing]
I won’t do it.
The fuck you won’t.
Do what you want to me, but I ca…
I can’t do this for you.
Listen.
One dose.
Strong enough to top Homelander.
And then you can go back to what’s her name.
And you don’t got to see me no more.
But this first.
You don’t understand.
I can’t.
It’s what we realized in the lab.
To make the virus strong enough to kill Homelander
would evolve it into something unstable.
What do you mean, unstable?
Airborne.
Highly contagious.
Super lethal.
No one with Compound V in their bloodstream would be safe.
A global fucking pandemic.
We’re not just talking about killing Homelander.
We’re talking about killing every Supe on earth.
That’s Annie, Kimiko.
Ryan.
[Sameer] Vicky.
Zoe.
I’m sorry.
But when they say shit’s falling into the wrong hands…
…they mean your hands.
[sniffles, whimpers]
[Kessler] This is beyond our wildest dreams.
Man, dude just gave us the silver bullet.
We can wipe them all out.
[Becca] Billy, you cannot go along with this.
Listen, mate, no one
ever said nothing about genocide.
Is that a fucking joke?
He’s insane.
[Kessler] Who was it that said, “They all got to go”?
“Every fucking last one of ’em.”
[Becca] He’s talking about murder, Billy.
Of thousands.
Think how much better the world would be.
And a lot of them are innocent, okay? I know you…
Shut your fucking cake hole, bitch!
Wait a minute… [stammers]
You can see her?
What the fuck’s that supposed to mean, you’re me?
I mean, out of all the fucking people
that your festering fucked-up brain could’ve conjured up,
you picked me.
The real Joe Kessler?
He’s dead in the Panjshir Valley, motherfucker.
You never dragged me out.
You left me to die.
I’ll be back at the head of the table in no time.
No.
We’ll get Ryan’s head clear, and that’s it.
Fuck all this cloak and dagger shite.
It’s bloody freezing out here.
We’ll patch you up right as rain.
No. No.
No, I’d remember that.
I’d fucking remember that.
[Kessler] Unless of course you’ve got a big, old, fat, V’d-up brain tumor, you cunt.
Which is why you are seeing me in the first place.
[Kessler] I killed Ezekiel for you.
I am inside of you.
I am you.
Which is why when I tell you you want to do this,
I am literally telling you that you fucking want to do this.
So don’t you worry, Billy, my boy.
Daddy’s home.
[mysterious music playing]
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
