The Boys
Season 4 – Episode 5
Episode title: Beware the Jabberwock, My Son
Original release date: June 27, 2024
Plot: At V52 Expo, The Seven and Vought news anchor Cameron Coleman announce upcoming film and television projects. After Hugh Sr. wakes up from his coma, Daphne reveals it was she who administered the Compound V; Hughie starts bonding and spending time with his parents. Annie is blamed for Ezekiel’s death. Butcher reveals to The Boys a virus that kills Supes, which is in Neuman’s possession. He and M.M. visit Stan Edgar in prison to help them obtain the virus in exchange for freeing him; Stan accepts. The Boys go to a farmhouse where they discover Compound V and the virus has been experimented on several animals; Neuman soon arrives. The group searches for scientist Dr. Sameer Shah, father of Zoe, but is ambushed by the mutated animals; they manage to find Sameer and kill the animals with the last dose of the virus. At the hospital, the empowered Hugh Sr. murders several patients after failing to control his powers while losing his memory; Hughie calms him long enough to administer a lethal injection to end him peacefully. Cameron is blamed for leaking the video footage and, under Homelander’s orders, is murdered by members of The Seven; Homelander declares The Seven now as “wrathful gods”. Frenchie turns himself into the police for his past crimes. Butcher reveals to Joe that he has kidnapped Sameer and plans to use him to replicate the virus.
* * *
[screams]
[hysterical laughter]
I want to flip A-Train.
Why the fuck would I ever talk to you?
[Mother’s Milk] ‘Cause you gave Starlight that footage.
Surveillance footage was taken from Crime Analytics
and given to Starlight.
She just wanted some help…
She confessed. Leak plugged.
[Sage] You don’t think
the next word out of her mouth might’ve been useful?
My dad’s about to die.
I need a dose of Compound V and I need it today.
[intense music playing]
[monitors beeping rapidly]
What the fuck?
What happens when he finds out you murdered his family?
It was me.
What was you?
I’m so sorry.
I hate you.
Kimiko!
Starlight visited a clinic and she had an abortion.
Baby killer!
[grunting]
[Butcher] What happened to me back there?
{\an8} Welcome to Godolkin University.
[Cardosa] The virus only affects Supes.
It attaches to the Compound V in their blood.
Concentrate the dose. Let’s see how sick we can make her.
[Neuman] Is this all of it?
Yeah.
You’re the only one who knows how to replicate it.
♪ ♪
[majestic music playing]
[narrator] In a world of chaos, some things never change.
That good will always win.
That love conquers all.
{\an8}And that heroes will answer the call to protect, to inspire.
{\an8}♪ ♪
[announcer] Welcome to the V52 Expo.
Now please give a big round of applause for your hosts
Cameron Coleman and The Deep.
[cheering and applause]
[music distorting]
[screaming]
[Sage] Homelander.
Nice trip home?
[Deep] Thank you, Superfans.
[Cameron] We are so excited to be here with you, celebrating another year…
This turnout.
They love the fuck out of you.
Talk about bread and circus.
[Deep] …G-Men: World War trilogy, scheduled for release this summer,
G-Men: World War III.
[Cameron] And it’s just one of the many new projects we’ve got
coming to you on the VCU timeline.
Phases seven through 19.
Which we’ll be sharing with you all today in exhaustive detail.
[Hughie] Are you okay?
[stammers] Is there anything, like, buzzing or tingling or… weird?
No, I’m telling you. I feel great.
Are you absolutely sure I had a stroke?
Yes.
What’s the last thing you remember?
Let me see… I was at Smart & Final, I was buying a family pack of pizza rolls.
They didn’t have pepperoni, so I had to get supreme.
Or was it Triple Meat?
Dad.
No, it was supreme.
I remember it had the little green pepper specks in it.
Dad! Forget about the fucking pizza rolls.
Well, he sure sounds like himself.
Yeah. I mean, if I was as bad as they say, then I-I-I shouldn’t be alive, right?
I mean, it’s a true blue miracle.
Why don’t you get some rest?
Okay? Mom and I are gonna go find you a Diet Snapple.
Okay!
You gave him the V?
Yeah. I thought that’s what you wanted.
It fell out of your coat. I don’t understand.
Why did you bring it if you didn’t want to use it?
Look, I wanted to. I…
I did. But then I didn’t.
Okay? It’s just that I’ve…
I’ve seen that shit go wrong so many times.
Well, it’s got to go right sometimes, right?
I mean, otherwise there wouldn’t be any Supes.
Look at him. He’s fine.
[TV announcer] Tonight, on Vought’s Funniest Pet Attacks…
[Hugh Sr. laughs]
Well, um…
You grew up without one parent.
I just couldn’t bear
the thought of you losing another one.
[whispers] Sorry.
Guess Starlight can’t decide whether to rape a baby or kill it.
Well, I am pressing charges for assault, and that’s for damn sure.
And even though the police say she had an “alibi,”
we all know she had something to do with Ezekiel’s murder.
This is a biblical war of good versus evil, folks.
And I’m declaring hunting season on Starlighters.
Now, on the subject of baby-killers, let’s welcome our guest
Dr. Dorian Boone.
Dr. Boone, what’d Starlight’s baby feel when she murdered it?
{\an8}[Boone] There was a study done at Samaritan’s Embrace University
{\an8}on ferrets which proves unborn babies feel pain
{\an8} as early as conception.
[Monique] What am I
supposed to do with her home for two weeks, Marvin?
I have a job.
So do I.
And the boy needed stitches,
which you can be sure we’re going to get the bill for.
Suspended for fighting, baby? This ain’t like you.
Dad, I…
Uh-uh.
What were you thinking?
He said Homelander’s a hero, so I told him the truth.
Then he told me to f-word off, so I hit him!
Baby, fighting is not how you solve problems.
Why not? That’s what you do.
Sweetie, go to your room.
Go to your room!
[door slams]
Okay, Monique…
Goddamn it, Marvin.
I am not gonna lose another person I love to this superhero shit.
Let me talk to her.
You fix this.
Now.
[Butcher] Fuck all this cloak and dagger shite.
It’s bloody freezing out here.
Well, I mean, I was thinking we could meet in your mom’s pussy,
but, you know, I wanted someplace more private.
[chuckles softly]
So, what you thinking?
Butcher, listen.
How about we do this job,
just you and me?
I don’t know, Joe. It’s a bit all of a sudden, isn’t it?
Billy…
your team is a joke.
You think I haven’t noticed?
M.M.’s on the verge of a breakdown,
Frenchie’s a fucking junkie, Hughie is a gaping wet pussy.
And the two Supes on your side?
Man, for whatever reason, you have a blind spot for them.
All right, I’ll give you Starlight.
But Kimiko’s a bloody good weapon,
and the rest of them are still up to scratch.
Well, I don’t get you. I don’t.
Half your brain is a fucking tumor.
This is your last shot at Homelander, and now you decide to go soft?
Yeah, they are decent people, but you and me,
we don’t belong with decent.
[atmospheric music playing]
Hey, so, where is Colin?
Chais pas. Why?
Because he completely ghosted me.
Did you guys get into a fight or something?
He, uh, went out of town last-minute.
Are you okay?
Super.
[sniffs]
How are you?
So great.
[somber music playing]
[door opens]
[door closes]
[Butcher] Fucking hell, it’s like a morgue in here.
What’s with all the long faces?
[Annie] I don’t know, maybe because
I’m getting blamed for the murder you did.
I’d call you a cunt, but you ain’t got the depth or the warmth.
I’ve been meaning to ask you something.
How was it that you took out Ezekiel?
I have no idea.
Bullshit.
God’s honest. I, uh…
blacked out, came to, and there he was.
All over the shop.
But never mind that bollocks because, my son,
I have found it… the answer to all our prayers.
And what might that be?
Ah, it’s nothing much.
Just a… a virus that kills Supes. [slurps]
Such a thing does not exist.
Did not exist. Does now.
You see, some clever cunts
over at Godolkin University cooked up a bug
that latches onto the V in their bloodstream.
Now, it’s completely harmless to humans,
but to Supes?
Fucking diabolical.
So, you shove this shit into me and Kimiko and we just…
drop dead?
Yep. That’s the idea. [slurps]
Now, it ain’t juiced enough to kill Homelander.
But I reckon we get our hands on some
and try it out on our lovely V.P. elect.
And why the hell are we just finding out about this shit, Butcher?
There’s only one small snag.
When I went to God U to nick it,
Neuman had pipped me to the post, so we’re gonna have to nick it from her.
This is insane and desperate. Even for you.
Well, insanely desperate’s where we are, don’t you think, love?
[Mother’s Milk] Okay. All right, all right. Time out.
Look, if this virus is as dangerous as Butcher says it is,
do you really want it in Neuman’s hands?
[sighs] No. No, you’re right.
All right, then. Then we’re sorted.
Oh, uh, uh… One other tiny little thing.
I need you to get us one presidential pardon.
[dramatic music playing]
Lord, they asked me to join The Seven.
I know I should be happy,
but I’m not sure I’m strong enough to fight all the sinners.
Will you carry me, Jesus?
Are you… are you there?
♪ ♪
[audience cheering]
That clip is from our new studio division Vought Faith.
[Deep] Speaking of faith,
let’s all have a moment of silence for my brother in Christ, Ezekiel.
Adios, amigo.
♪ I will remember you ♪
[♪ Sarah McLachlan: “I Will Remember You”]
♪ Will you remember me? ♪
♪ Don’t let your life pass you by…
You, um, you all right?
Still searching for this leak.
Hmm.
Any leads?
Working on it.
But it’s got to be someone.
That footage didn’t just run itself out of Crime Analytics, am I right?
♪ How clearly I first saw you smiling in the sun…
Let me know if I can help.
Mm.
[clicks tongue, inhales sharply]
♪ I will remember you ♪♪
For fuck’s sakes. You got fleas or something?
[door buzzes]
Stay close, Dominic.
This won’t take long.
[door closes]
Gentlemen…
I have pottery class in ten minutes.
Right.
Would you rather finger some fucking clay or…
…walk the fuck out of here?
Fuck, really grateful cunt, isn’t he?
Mm.
Where’s your fucking manners?
It’s not my birthday,
and this is not a gift.
Victoria Neuman has something we need. Some kind of… virus.
I have no idea what you mean.
[Butcher] Come on, Stanny.
You struck me as the type of bloke
what keeps his paws in all sorts of dirty little pies.
[Mother’s Milk] Look, you help us
get this virus from Neuman, we’ll help you get the fuck out of here.
You must be pretty desperate to try and enlist me in a plot against Victoria.
She is like a daughter to me.
Yeah, a daughter who sold you out.
She did what I raised her to do.
[Butcher] You’re right,
you taught her how to be a monster, but not her little girl.
[tense music playing]
♪ ♪
Ah…
You didn’t know?
She shot up sweet little Zoe full of V.
Turned her into a tentacle-mouthed nightmare.
How about we get you out of here,
exonerated and throw in custody of Zoe?
There ain’t no better deal. And you know it.
[exciting music playing]
[monitor beeping]
[Butcher] Got to hand it to him…
cunt knows how to wear a whistle.
This is a bad idea.
Starlight.
What an unexpected pleasure.
Hmm.
You know, I’ve always felt a certain kinship with you.
Where we headed?
West.
Charming.
Do you have a towel I could place over the seat?
[Hugh Sr.] Absolute disaster,
the-the… our honeymoon.
It wasn’t a disaster.
Come on! Be serious.
Acapulco wasn’t that bad.
Ugh.
The honeymoon suite had two twin beds.
[laughs] Yeah.
There were people vomiting at the-the swim-up bar… [chuckles]
and the all-included buffet seemingly only included salmonella.
If you hated it so much, why did you buy a timeshare?
He bought a timeshare.
‘Cause that guy…
That guy put the hard sell on me.
[laughs]
It’d be great to go back, wouldn’t it?
Yeah.
For the food poisoning?
[laughs] No, to… just to Acapulco, you know?
To… go to Branson and-and Pigeon Forge.
Oh, Paris, I have always wanted to go to Paris.
I never knew that.
Yeah.
They have this walking tour that goes to all the spots in The Da Vinci Code.
[Hughie] Oh. Yeah.
Imagine that.
Yeah, wow. Wow, I’d, uh…
I’d hate to miss it.
[Daphne] That reminds me,
I want to give you… this,
Hughie, which is my engagement ring for when you propose to Annie.
Wow, Mom. Uh…
Thank you, that’s so sweet, but I-I don’t, I don’t know if, um,
I don’t know if we’re ready,
like, right now…
Are you crazy?
Lock that shit down, you moron.
Okay. [chuckles]
Thank you.
You know, I can’t, um…
you know, change anything, but…
I’m really sor…
I’m really sorry that I missed this.
You know, this.
Me, too.
And look, I-I-I know you tried to reach out to Hughie,
and I should never have kept you away.
It’s…
I’m gonna… I’m gonna go to the ladies’ room.
Oh, you okay?
[exhales sharply, chuckles]
What is it?
You gave her power of attorney.
I knew…
You haven’t seen her in years.
Did you think I couldn’t handle it?
It’s not that. [stammers]
You remember when Jar Jar got leukemia?
Yeah.
Cat wouldn’t eat,
and yet somehow still had diarrhea,
and you would not let me put him down, until he eventually kind of just,
you know, exploded…
With blood and shit. Yeah, I remember.
Right.
But I was nine.
You are still the same little kid.
You hold on tight to everyone.
And I love you for that, but…
you know, when it came to, uh, an advanced directive…
Let’s just say I didn’t want to end up like Jar Jar.
[slurping]
Hey, where’s your mom gone?
Uh, she went to the bathroom, remember?
Yeah.
Yeah, of course.
[slurping]
[tense music playing]
♪ ♪
[Annie] You got a nice place.
I’ve rarely been.
It’s the smell.
But if Victoria wanted to keep her proclivities quiet,
it’d be here.
[suspenseful music playing]
[gun clicks]
[door creaks]
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
What is all this?
I’m as surprised as you are.
[sizzling]
[chittering]
[broken glass crunching]
♪ ♪
[gun clicks]
[chittering]
♪ ♪
What’d you find?
It’s what I did not.
See, the labels mark each iteration of this virus.
Somebody’s been running tests, but now…
…it’s all gone.
What?
Holy shit.
Fucking bitch.
[guns click]
Easy.
Victoria. You’re looking well.
You think I wouldn’t know the minute
you and your ankle monitor stepped out of that prison?
I don’t recall giving you permission to turn my rec room into a virology lab.
You brought these assholes here?
They want to kill me.
[Edgar] I’m sorry.
Are you upset that I betrayed you?
Oi, knock it off, you two. This ain’t Family Pies.
You have five seconds to tell me what you did to Sameer,
or I paint this fucking room red.
[Butcher] Who the fuck’s Sameer?
[crackling]
[Edgar] Enough.
So, you brought in Sameer.
Smart. That’s what I’d have done.
But whatever happened to him, it wasn’t us.
We should find him together.
You’re fucking kidding me.
If I’m not mistaken, you hurt these people,
they expose you as a super-abled killer, yes?
Then I’m afraid that we are at a stalemate.
You might as well use their expertise.
At the very least,
they’re effective cannon fodder.
[Mother’s Milk] Thanks.
That’s really nice of you.
[♪ Joseph William Morgan: “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough”]
♪ Ain’t no mountain high, ain’t no valley low…
[narrator] A story about a hero…
[coach] I’m not giving up on you, and you can’t give up on yourself.
[narrator] …and the boy he taught to run.
[crowd cheering]
[exhales]
Run faster than that!
I quit.
Don’t you bail on me!
Get off of me!
[coach] You can outrun this life,
or you can run yourself into an early grave.
♪ ‘Cause, baby, there ain’t no mountain high enough ♪
♪ Ain’t no valley low enough ♪
[audience applauding] ♪ Ain’t no river wide enough…
[cheering]
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you, thank you. Trust me.
I’m just as excited as you all for this film, that is…
…so close to my heart.
Being able to tell this…
[chuckles] Hey, listen, man.
Call me crazy, but I’m sensing a little tension here.
Anything wrong?
Yeah, dude.
You fucking reported that I got shitcanned as head of Crime Analytics.
I’m sorry, but… [sighs]
Look, I got to take a couple of shots at the home team now and again,
if I’m gonna appear fair and balanced.
[exhales sharply]
Look, I’ll make a retraction.
No. It’s way too late for that shit.
[sighs] Noah Baumbach pulled me from his latest slice-of-life drama.
I’m sorry, man, I don’t know what to say.
You know, it wasn’t personal.
[audience cheering]
Be sure to check me out in the Vought+ thriller, Double Standard,
which just finished reshooting its reshoots,
making it the most expensive TV show ever.
So, you know, it’s got to be good, am I right?
[audience cheering]
[Cameron] A-Train!
[Deep] For the first time in Vought’s history,
we have two Black heroes in The Seven and one unspecified.
[laughs] Yeah. Wow.
[cheering]
Vought proudly supports and amplifies BIPOC voices.
Isn’t that right, Cameron?
It sure is, Deep.
Which is why these articulate heroes will lead Vought’s newest diversity initiative.
Black At It.
[cheering, whooping]
[Deep] Some say, “Go woke, go broke.”
Well, we say, “Go woke, get yoked.”
And as part of our new initiative, we’ll be debuting a new feature,
specifically for our diverse audiences.
Custom digital product placement.
Check this out, here we have a clip
from my three-time MTV Award winner Rising Tide.
[cheering, whooping]
Get this, when a white fan streams my movie,
they’ll see me holding a brand tailor-made to their tastes.
And then, you know, if a Black fan streams it,
they’ll see a delicious Vought Imperial Peach Cognac.
Ooh, it’s pretty cool.
[scattered cheering]
[light applause]
[scattered whooping]
[exhales sharply]
[cheering intensifies]
All right, so, chuffa, chuffa from Cameron and Deep.
Then we announce Ryan’s debut series, Super School.
That’s the title we went with?
That was the only thing we got cleared.
Then they’re gonna throw to me, right? For my little “why now” moment.
You know, how I got my inspo from my time really teaching
the next generation of super-powered youth,
and then it’s go time, baby, right?
[door opens]
That’s when you’re gonna come out to me,
and we do, like, a little two-hour Q and A.
Bonnie, you look gorgeous today, by the way.
Did you get my text?
[stammers] Yeah.
Right. Is that for us? Listen, tell ’em we’ll be out in like 15, 20, okay?
Okay.
All right, cool.
[door opens]
Hey, Ryan, what do you think?
[door closes]
Seriously.
What do you think? I-I really want to know.
[sighs]
It’s just…
I mean, Super School?
[Homelander] Hmm.
Why are we doing a teen show, anyway?
Um, ’cause we like money.
If you don’t want to do it…
…don’t.
Don’t do it.
I mean it.
I’m just gonna pop the horns up here a little bit and play devil’s advocate.
We are a month away from shooting.
Built all the sets. I think we bought up half the sound stages in Toronto.
Who cares?
[quietly] Is this because I jerked it
in front of Minka Kelly? Because, again, that was just crossed wires.
Hey, guy, what’s it gonna take to get you amped?
Do you want a E.P. credit? That is done.
You want to get script approval?
I can make anything sing…
Give him your black Amex.
What?
You want… You know what?
Why don’t you take my whole wallet.
And the keys to your Jaguar.
I would love…
to do that.
[keys jingle]
[forced chuckle]
Ryan, what do you say?
No.
Yeah.
[door opens]
So, you’re… you’re really not mad at me?
No. I’m proud of you for speaking your mind.
Ryan…
[sighs] I’ve been, uh…
manipulated by people my whole life.
Being told what to say, where to stand.
It-It’s like being a slave, only worse.
I did some reflecting,
and I realized that I’ve been doing the same thing to you.
But no more.
From now on, no more rules.
For either of us.
We are both emancipated from slavery.
We’re free.
Sound good?
Yeah. [chuckles]
Yeah?
Oh, buddy, I-I don’t care what anyone else thinks but you.
Far as I’m concerned, this whole planet is empty.
Except for you and me.
[both chuckle]
[wind whistles]
As if you don’t have 60 more pairs.
Prince Andrew gave me these shoes.
I’m suddenly reminded of how much I hated it here.
Really? I used to love it.
I always felt a little more free here.
And yet you’ve turned my farm
into an infectious disease lab.
[agent] Clear.
I can only assume that you’re searching for a way to control Homelander.
You know, he’s a Freudian cesspool of random impulse and deep insecurity.
There’s no one who can control that.
You’ve put yourself and Zoe in terrible danger.
No. You put me and Zoe in terrible danger.
You used me like you use everybody else. Somebody had to protect her.
You mean shooting her up with Compound V.
You took a bright-eyed little girl,
and you turned her into a…
Into a what?
A monster?
Is that why you had me hide what I was?
Stick to the shadows, never reach too high?
That was to protect you.
No,
that was because you were ashamed of me.
My daughter will never have to live like that.
So, what’s gonna happen when we find the virus and this little truce is over?
Starlight blinds the bitch, before she knows what’s what,
I’ll jab her with a dose.
Okay.
[creaking]
[chickens clucking]
[wings fluttering]
[agent] We’ve got a casualty.
[tense music playing]
Is that Sameer?
No, it’s one of his lab assistants.
[chickens clucking]
What the hell is…
[all gasping, exclaiming]
V’d-up fucking chicken!
[gunfire]
[gunfire continues]
[crackling]
[clucking]
[gunfire continues]
Fuck this.
[exciting music playing]
[chicken clucks]
[doors rattle]
[Butcher] Well, you could’ve warned us
your pal Sameer was V-ing up a Kentucky Fried fucking massacre,
couldn’t ya?
I didn’t know, okay? Something obviously went wrong.
We have to find him.
[Butcher] Yeah, right.
And we’re supposed to believe you?
You eat, sleep and shit lies, don’t you?
Right, ’cause you’re such a paragon of virtue.
You tell your friends about the deal we made?
Wait, wh-what does that mean?
Said he’d steal all your files you had on me if I gave him Ryan.
Are you fucking kidding me?
And I didn’t go through with it, did I? Which proves I’m on the level.
When are we gonna learn? He’s never gonna fucking change.
All right, listen. We got a lot of ground to cover,
so let’s just go.
It’s an absolute wonder to me that you’ve all managed to live this long.
What? I didn’t go through with it.
[soft music playing]
[Cameron] Ooh, that’s nice.
[clears throat] Excuse me. Hi.
Did I say you could take out your vibrating Bluetooth anal beads?
Go pop them back in right now.
[button clicking]
This is an important event.
Uh-huh.
You really expect me to come onstage in front of our most loyal fans?
Oh, yeah. I want everyone to know what a grubby little queef-sniffer you are.
Huh. [sighs heavily]
I’m sorry. This wasn’t how I was planning to tell you,
but, um, this isn’t working out for me anymore.
I mean, it was one thing when you were really in charge around here,
but now, I mean…
You…
are dumping me?
I need a dom who’s dominating.
You know?
But, uh, I hope we can still be friends.
Hmm. Is this your angry look, or did Starlight fuck up your face?
You know, if you weren’t Homelander’s right-hand bitch,
I’d take you out behind the woodshed and whup your ass.
Mm, sounds on-brand.
You set me up to get my ass beat.
And you fell for it.
But, hey, now you don’t have to play a victim.
You can really be one.
[scoffs] Y’all just think I’m stupid poor white trash.
I don’t think you’re poor.
Underestimate me all you want.
Makes it that much easier to stick a fucking shiv in your back.
Frenchie okay?
{\an8}Oh.
Are you okay?
[coughs]
I noticed you’re having a little, uh…
projectile dysfunction.
Yeah, you know what?
Why don’t you worry about yourself, okay?
I am. You’re not much use to us if your powers are on the fuckin’ fritz.
Saw you beat the piss out of Firecracker on national television.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the hell out of it, but, um,
don’t you think it was a little…
out of control?
We can’t lose our cool like that.
We?
Come on, Annie. I’m one of the only people who does get it.
Dual identities.
I’m still Nadia. You think I don’t want to let her out sometimes?
But I can’t. I got to be Neuman.
And, shit, you’ve been Starlight for so long,
do you even know who Annie is anymore?
[panting]
[laughs]
Yeah, you really got your shit locked down.
[dramatic music playing]
[animal whimpering]
♪ ♪
[panting]
[squeals]
♪ ♪
[squeals]
[crunching]
[ominous dramatic music playing]
[announcer] Ladies and gentlemen, Tek-Knight.
[audience cheering]
It’s been a whole year since my last movie,
so I’d say we’re due for a reboot.
[cheering and applause]
No, keep your eyes forward.
Don’t let them see us talking.
Who?
Sage. Homelander. All of them.
[Ashley] Oh, God. Are you on meth?
Remember when we said we’d help each other?
The leak wasn’t Anika. It was me.
What the fuck?
What the fuck? Are you fucking suicidal?
Just chill out, Ashley.
Chill out?
You just made me a fucking accomplice, you piece of shit.
I took one shit in Homelander’s toilet.
I’m not joining the fucking Rebel Alliance.
I need to tell him.
Hey.
You’ve done a lot more than just take a shit,
and we both know that.
We made a deal, so you either help me
get Sage off my jock, or you go down with me.
[audience cheers]
[Tek-Knight] The Tek-Knight plumbs a whole new pit of darkness.
With its soundtrack of Nirvana hits
and a 12-minute sequence that’s entirely pitch-black.
[cheering and applause]
I found it, possibly the only bottle of
Diet Kiwi S…
Where’s Dad?
I thought he was with you.
No?
No.
[indistinct P.A. announcements]
[Hughie] Dad?
Dad?
Hugh?
Dad?
Dad?
Hugh?
Dad.
[Daphne] Hugh?
[Hughie] Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Just wait here for a second.
Hey, Dad.
[ominous music playing]
How’d that happen?
[Hughie] Oh!
Hughie, what’s going on?
I do… I don’t know.
I don’t know what…
[Hughie] Look, why don’t you set that down
and, uh, why don’t you…
why don’t you come with me.
[gasps]
Who are you?
Dad, it’s…
Dad, it’s me. It’s Hughie.
Excuse me.
Uh, ma’am?
[shouts]
[screams]
Oh, my God. Call security!
Call security! Code red!
♪ ♪
Don’t be like that.
Hey, let me take you to dinner.
Hey, I’m a nice guy, I promise.
[Hugh Sr. shouts]
[monitor flatlines]
What’s… what’s happening to me?
[intense music playing]
[alarm blaring]
[voice over P.A.] Attention please.
There has been a report of an emergency.
Proceed calmly to the nearest exit
and leave the building immediately.
[Hughie] Dad?
[Daphne] Hugh?
Oh, fuck.
[Daphne] Hugh?
[panting]
Dad?
I got to go.
[Hughie] Yeah, wait, wait. Just listen,
I can explain everything, all right? Why don’t… why don’t you just, uh,
why don’t you just come with us?
I can’t, I’m sorry, I got to take Hughie to the Vought Company Store.
He’s saving up for a Tek-Knight doll.
He-he-he calls it an action figure,
but, you know, it’s a… it’s a doll.
Dad, I’m Hughie.
I’m right here.
[chuckles]
You’re not Hughie.
He’s 11.
[Daphne] Hugh?
[clears throat]
Why don’t we go back to your room?
Daphne?
Yeah.
Wh…
what are you doing here?
[alarm continues blaring]
[distant shouting]
You shouldn’t be here.
You left.
But I came back. Remember?
Yeah.
[Hugh Sr.] I did everything for you,
and you looked through me like I wasn’t even there!
You ruined my life.
Hughie’s life.
Dad, stop.
Get down on the ground.
[gasps]
Sir?
Wait. Wait.
No! No, don’t!
Let’s go.
Daphne!
[announcer] Please welcome the Guardians of Godolkin:
Sam Riordan and Cate Dunlap.
[cheering and applause]
[orchestral fanfare music playing]
Hey, how long’s this thing supposed to go on for?
Why, big plans tonight?
Nothing much,
just gonna maybe fuck your wife.
Excuse me?
Tabitha. She wants me to swing by
for a late-night muff-dive.
Which’ll take forever ’cause I don’t need to come up for air.
I can just breathe right through her juices.
Enough.
I know about your little closeted eight-armed hand job machine.
I could cut a package together, have it on the air by tonight.
You wouldn’t.
Watch me.
So try and keep it classy, okay?
[Cate]…starring together in a hilarious new comedy, Flipped.
I’m a stuck-up sorority girl,
he’s a nerd,
but when a gypsy swaps our bodies…
So, what do you want to do?
We could go get some Nathan’s Famous.
[chuckles] No, I mean a little more boldly.
I mean, like, big picture.
What do you… want to do?
You’re gonna laugh at me.
Mm-mm. No, I won’t.
I kind of want to help people.
But not like with fake saves,
like really help.
It’s what my mom would want.
That’s… amazing.
That’s great.
[indistinct chatter]
You want to help her?
Hmm? Yeah?
Yeah.
But, I mean…
Great.
Hey, Adam,
will you send that lovely young lady over here, please?
And you come, too.
[Ryan] Um…
…is he making you uncomfortable?
Uh…
No, you can tell me.
You won’t get in trouble.
Um…
Kind of.
Yeah.
[Homelander] Ryan?
What do you think?
Adam, I think you should apologize.
Uh, I’m sorry if I was inappropriate.
Didn’t seem like you meant it.
Uh, yeah, that’s just… that’s just my natural tone.
Maybe the problem is that
Adam is looking down on the P.A.
Yeah.
[Homelander] Mm-hmm.
Yeah, um…
Adam, I think you should get on your knees and do it again.
[coughs]
I’m sorry if I
exploited our inequitable power dynamic,
and I made you feel uncomfortable.
Please forgive me.
He’s still lying.
Mm-hmm. I agree.
I think maybe he needs to be taught a lesson.
[whispers]
[both chuckle]
I want you to slap him.
Bonnie…
[grunts] Oh! Oh, fuck.
Do it again.
[cries out] Okay…
Again.
[Adam] Homelander…
[slaps]
Oh! Fuck me.
[slaps]
[grunts] I’m sorry. Stop, please.
[slaps]
[Adam grunting]
[slapping continues]
[Adam grunting]
Bonnie, please. Please!
Homelander, pl…
[slaps]
Please, can we take a break?
Are you all right?
Yes, I’m all right.
Right.
[sighs]
I didn’t know you were a Catholic.
Something about the drama of it appeals.
[chuckles]
You know?
Do you still believe in God?
I want to.
It’s just, uh…
It’s just so hard sometimes.
And you?
With all my heart.
The trinity, the resurrection,
the sacraments… all of it.
Well, except for the Sacraments of Penance.
Come on.
What a steaming pile of dog shit that is.
I really kind of think that
forgiving is…
is important.
Forgiving, oui.
But not being forgiven.
What, I confess to some priest
I don’t even know in a peep show booth,
and all my sins wash away?
Dog shit.
Some sins God should not forgive.
Some sins deserve eternal damnation.
Frenchie…
…what have you done?
It is not just one thing, you see.
It is so many things.
You should really talk to someone.
You should. I mean, have you told Kimiko?
[Frenchie] If I tell her…
…I’m scared she’ll hate me.
I’m even more scared she won’t.
[wood crashing]
[snorts]
[bellowing]
[snorts]
Is that a fucking V’d-up bull?
[mutters in French]
Oh, my God.
[snorts]
Off we fuck, nice and slow.
[all exclaiming]
This is fucking crazy.
Run!
[screeches]
Come on. Go!
[Annie] Oh, my God.
[screeches]
[intense dramatic music playing]
[screeches]
[gasps]
[screaming]
[Frenchie] Come on.
Let’s go!
[screeches]
[all panting]
[Annie sighs]
[Frenchie] Oh, mon Dieu.
I can’t believe this is fucking happening to me again.
Oh, my God, Sameer.
[Neuman] Are you okay?
[Sameer] Yeah.
I’m fine, but, uh, Henry…
Wait. Zoe’s not here, is she?
Because… No?
No, no. She’s okay. She’s okay.
[Sameer] Okay, good.
[Annie] Wait. Oh, my God,
is that Zoe’s dad?
[Edgar] Dr. Shah was my top man
at Vought R&D
before he went behind my back
and deflowered my daughter.
Okay, I was 20, thoroughly deflowered, and this isn’t the time or the place.
What happened?
We gave, uh, V to a hamster, so we could test the virus on it.
Oh, a V’d-up hamster was your first mistake, mon ami.
It got loose. Trashed the lab. We ran,
but the V had already leaked into the ground water.
Is the virus gone?
Yes.
Fuck.
Except for, uh…
Except for one dose.
[dramatic music playing]
[Neuman] Okay.
Hey.
How transmissible is that?
[Sameer] Not very.
Only through bodily fluid. Blood, saliva… semen.
Okay, so we inject it into your dead buddy over here as bait,
and then we put him outside to infect the crazy fucking flying sheep.
This man is in no condition to fuck a sheep.
They would eat him.
Oh.
[Butcher] Bollocks.
That’s the only dose. I say we fucking leg it.
Butcher’s right, it’s too valuable.
[Annie] Okay, we run,
we don’t all make it.
Darwinism, love.
Don’t got to be the fastest, just not the slowest.
No fucking way.
Enough. Not now.
I won’t be able to outrun them.
[Butcher] Oh, don’t you cry for that cunt.
He’s just trying to nick Zoe from you.
That’s his whole fucking plan, isn’t it?
He’s lying.
Sorry, Stanny. Just business.
Guys, stop.
Son of a bitch.
I should’ve fucking known.
M.M. could die, okay? Or Frenchie.
I mean, you really don’t care who you just throw to the wolves?
No, not really.
[Annie] You’re a monster,
and I’m not letting you do this.
[Butcher] Or what?
You gonna go stark raving like you did with Firecracker?
I got the head popper and you can’t even get it up.
Enough. Enough! Look. Look.
Y’all see this?
Hives.
And I got them
because y’all motherfuckers are driving me the fuck crazy.
Now, Annie,
you can’t just go around fucking everybody up.
And, Neuman, do you really
want to risk Zoe growing up in a group home the way you did?
And you.
Look.
My little baby girl needs me,
and I intend on seeing her.
You’re not a monster, Butcher.
You are a motherfucker, but you a motherfucker with a heart.
[tense music playing]
♪ ♪
[alarm blaring]
[shouting]
[indistinct P.A. announcements]
He killed those people. He… Those people.
Yeah, crazy shit happens when you give healthy people V,
so I guess when someone’s brain-dead…
H-How are you so calm?
This sort of isn’t the first time I’ve been through something like this.
What are you looking for?
I don’t know. Tobramycin,
topotecan, anything we can use to maybe slow Dad down.
Wait, w-what if we can’t?
Nothing is gonna happen to you.
[Hugh Sr.] Daphne!
[suspenseful music playing]
You… you left me.
You left our little boy.
[Hughie] Dad.
You broke our hearts.
Dad, stop.
Hugh, please.
Hugh, Hugh, please. Please, Hugh, please.
I’m Hughie, Dad.
I’m the one you took to the Vought Store to buy the Tek-Knight doll.
Remember, I-I was, I was short eight bucks,
even though I saved for weeks.
And you said, “Anything for your number one hero.”
But that’s the thing, Dad, he-he-he never was.
You are.
You’re my hero.
And that’s why I-I needed you to wake up,
so that I could say it, and I, and I, and I know that you heard it.
You’re my hero, Dad.
[alarm continues blaring]
[somber music playing]
Hughie?
Yeah. Yeah, Dad, it’s me, it’s me. It’s Hughie.
[Hugh Sr.] W-Where are we?
Oh!
Oh, God, w… Oh, God.
W-Why am I… I-I don’t know what’s going on.
It’s-it’s a long story, but…
No! No!
[Hughie] Dad?
Dad, it’s Hughie. It’s Hughie, remember?
I know. I-I know.
I just, I-I don’t…
There’s-there’s something wrong with me.
I-I can’t stop it. [crying]
I don’t know what to do.
That’s okay.
I think I do.
[sheep screeching]
How long did you say it takes for the virus to kick in?
It’s been different every time.
[pounding on roof]
That’s not good.
[suspenseful music playing]
[wood creaking]
[pounding on roof]
Shit.
[door creaking]
[bleating]
[screeching]
Go, go, go! Go, go, go!
[intense music playing]
Oh!
[screeches]
Oh, shit.
[groans]
[heavy thud]
[sheep screeching]
Where’s Sameer?
Where’s Sameer?
Sameer?
Sameer!
Victoria. Victoria. Calm down. Just…
Sameer! Sameer! Where’s Sameer?
[crying] Where is he?
We don’t know…
No, where is he? No, where’s Sameer?
Not very sporting of you to renege on a deal.
Deal was a pardon for the virus. No virus?
No deal.
We scoured the property. We couldn’t find Dr. Shah,
but we did find this.
Thank you.
I’m very sorry.
[helicopter passing]
[engine starts]
[sighs]
[engine starts]
[explosion]
Hmm.
[gentle music playing]
[overlapping chatter]
Jesus fucking Christ, are you serious?
Shh.
What does it mean to be a hero?
This country is corrupt beyond repair. So, we got to save it.
We have to save America.
We have to save the world for our kids.
So, I’m reaching out to you, to do your part.
Now, it’s not gonna be easy. We’ll…
We’ll have to do some terrible things. Some violent,
merciless, maybe even cruel things, for the greater good.
That’s war.
You’ll no longer be beloved celebrities.
You will be wrathful gods.
When the time comes…
…will you answer the call?
How will we know when the time comes?
Trust me, you’ll know.
Anything you need, Homelander.
You see, we recently found a leak
here at Vought Tower, and I thought,
together, we might plug it.
[Homelander] The proof was on his phone.
Calls to Marvin Milk.
[Cameron] I don’t know who that is. I don’t know who Marvin Milk is.
I didn’t do it. This is a mistake.
Someone set me up. Someone set me up.
I didn’t do anything.
[muffled shouting]
[Homelander] So…
A-Train.
[Cameron protesting]
Show me a little wrath.
[Cameron groans]
I’m still gonna fuck your wife tonight.
[grunts]
[tense music playing]
[Cameron coughing]
[Cameron crying out]
[blows landing]
[sighs]
[buttons clicking]
[phone chimes]
[phone clicks]
[indistinct chatter]
Not here.
Hello.
Uh, just a moment, sir.
Madame, excusez-moi.
Sir, we’ll get to you when we can…
I have committed murders.
Plural.
There’s a 10-13 at the front desk.
Sir, please put your hands where I can see them.
[distant alarm blaring]
How do you know this is even gonna work?
I-I have this, uh, French friend.
He kind of taught me way too much about drugs.
Look, if we don’t do this, then he spends the rest of his life
scared and confused, in-in prison
or-or an asylum.
Or he kills more innocent people.
He’s right.
Hughie’s right.
I don’t want to be Jar Jar.
It’s not gonna hurt.
Thank you.
For taking such good care of our boy.
I promise I will do the same.
Yeah.
Yeah.
[Hugh Sr.] W-Wh…
What’s happening?
I feel…
[Daphne] Okay.
I’m-I’m-I’m scared.
Hey, hey, Dad, it’s okay. Hey. I’m right here.
I’m right here. We both are.
And I-I love you so much.
I’m not gonna hold on, okay? You can go.
I love you, too, son.
My wee Hughie.
[both sigh]
Oh, y-you know where I really want to go?
Where?
Is Paris.
Uh, yeah. Yeah, you know, we can…
three of us, we can do the Da Vinci Code tour.
Oh, yeah. The three of us.
[Hughie] Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
[Hugh Sr.] The three of us.
Visit all those… those spots where…
Tom… Tom Hanks…
[crying]
[Daphne] It’s okay.
[kisses] It’s okay.
[Hughie continues crying]
[muffled whimpering]
[chuckles] Now, see? That is classic Butcher.
[panicked breathing]
You get away from me! Get away from me!
All right, take it easy.
I ain’t gonna hurt you.
Well, not no more.
It was just enough to convince people.
You chopped off my fucking leg.
[Butcher] Yes, I did.
I ain’t gonna sugarcoat it, your football days are over,
but don’t you worry,
we’ll patch you up,
right as rain,
and you’ll be back to work in no time.
Work? What work?
Well, what the fuck do you think?
You’re gonna make us some more of that virus.
[whimpering] No, no…
[suspenseful music playing]
♪ Old MacDonald had a farm ♪
♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪
♪ And on his farm he had some chicks ♪
♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪
♪ With a chick-chick here and a chick-chick there ♪
♪ Here a chick, there a chick, everywhere a chick-chick ♪
♪ Old MacDonald had a farm ♪
♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪
♪ Old MacDonald had a farm ♪
♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪
♪ And on his farm he had some ducks ♪
♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪
♪ With a quack-quack here and a quack-quack there ♪
♪ Here a quack, there a quack, everywhere a quack-quack ♪
♪ Chick-chick here and a chick-chick there ♪
♪ Here a chick, there a chick, everywhere a chick-chick ♪
♪ Old MacDonald had a farm ♪
♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪
♪ Old MacDonald had a farm ♪
♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪
♪ And on his farm he had some turkeys ♪
♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪
♪ With a gobble-gobble here and a gobble-gobble there ♪
♪ Here a gobble, there a gobble, everywhere a gobble-gobble ♪
♪ Quack-quack here and a quack-quack there ♪
♪ Here a quack, there a quack, everywhere a quack-quack ♪
♪ Chick-chick here and a chick-chick there ♪
♪ Here a chick, there a chick, everywhere a chick-chick ♪
♪ Old MacDonald had a farm ♪
♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪
♪ Old MacDonald had a farm ♪
♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪
♪ And on his farm he had some pigs ♪
♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪
♪ With an oink-oink here and an oink-oink there ♪
♪ Here an oink, there an oink, everywhere an oink-oin k ♪
♪ Gobble-gobble here and a gobble-gobble there ♪
♪ Here a gobble, there a gobble, everywhere a gobble-gobble ♪
♪ Quack-quack here and a quack-quack there ♪
♪ Here a quack, there a quack, everywhere a quack-quack ♪
♪ Chick-chick here and a chick-chick there ♪
♪ Here a chick, there a chick, everywhere a chick-chick ♪
[singers imitating farm animals]
♪ Old MacDonald had a farm ♪
♪ E-I-E-I ♪
♪ O ♪♪
[record needle scratching]
