The Boys
Season 4 – Episode 1
Episode title: Department of Dirty Tricks
Original release date: June 13, 2024
Plot: The Boys infiltrate Victoria Neuman’s campaign event as a sabotage mission. The mission goes awry when Homelander and Ryan arrive. Ryan learns Billy has only six months to live. Victoria’s daughter Zoe attacks forcing the group to leave. Discovering whiter hair on his body and fed up by his group being sycophant, Homelander recruits Sister Sage as a new member of The Seven. Homelander orders the murders of three supporters while Sage begins a riot, in a plan to blame Starlight supporters. Hughie learns his father has suffered a stroke from GCS E1V1M1 and visits him only to encounter his mother.
* * *
Go on, son. Have a bump.
[intense music playing]
What the fuck?
Shit.
Homelander’s gonna love this.
No, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Homelander has agreed to donate to the Starlight House, which is…
No. No.
I mean, giv… Come on, give it up.
Give it up for this guy.
No, no, no.
I’m not just like the rest of you,
I’m better.
Homelander is a fucking psychopath.
Homelander is protecting them.
[grunts]
You said you’d always looked out for me. You promised!
Well, maybe I don’t want to look at you.
I hate you.
This little guy here is my son.
[cheering]
Fuck you, fascist!
[cheering]
[laughing]
You help me out with one small favor,
and I’ll help you.
Do you have it or not?
Original recipe, all 11 herbs and spices.
[screaming]
[Neuman] Just a pinch.
My name is Annie January, and I fucking quit.
I say you’re one of the Boys.
You are like rabid little doggy,
but loyal to whoever holds this chain.
Your brain’s leaking.
[Annie] Temp V is gonna kill you both.
How long I got?
[doctor] Months. 12 on the outside.
Homelander needs to die.
That’s it. Whatever it takes.
Soldier Boy’s our weapon. He’s how we kill Homelander.
Did you know?
That Soldier Boy was my father?
[grunts]
Get out of the building, now.
Butcher, stop!
[grunts]
The thing you wanted, he’s right fucking there, and now you blink?
I made a promise.
[Maeve] You don’t need me anymore.
I could jump.
You can fucking fly.
[yells]
[grunts]
[♪ Sex Pistols: “God Save the Queen”]
♪ God save the queen ♪
♪ The fascist regime ♪
♪ They made you a moron ♪
♪ A potential H-bomb ♪
♪ God save the queen ♪
♪ She ain’t no human being ♪
♪ And there’s no future ♪
♪ God saves. ♪
[feedback screeches]
[applause]
Good evening!
Now, look, I know it’s a late night,
so I just wanted to come out and say thanks for your patience.
The bar remains open, and, uh…
Oh, yeah, Colorado and Nevada just went to Robert Singer!
[cheering]
Whoo!
So, stay tuned.
I feel like we’re gonna be back very soon with some very good news.
Thank you, and God bless America!
[cheering]
[intriguing music playing]
[sniffs] Motherfucking Gruyère puffs?
What am I supposed to do with these?
She says you’ve been working too hard. You need to eat more.
We pull this off, I promise I’ll grub all these motherfuckers.
[dramatic music playing]
[hisses]
Hughie, come on. I need eyes.
[Hughie over comms] Yeah, yeah, just give me one… more second.
Sorry, sorry. There’s, like, a million connectors in here, and I can’t see shit.
[sighs] Are you helping, or you just showing off?
Oh, for sure both.
[Hughie] Is that it?
All right, live and in living color.
Butcher, you copy?
[scoffs]
Where the fuck is Butcher?
[vomiting]
[sighs]
[spits]
Oh, don’t you fucking start. I’m fine.
[Frenchie] Charcuter.
Who are you talking to?
I ain’t said a word.
[distant siren wailing]
[sighs] Geez.
All right. [sighs] Come on, then.
[dramatic, suspenseful music playing]
Evening, cunts.
We’re here to commit a bit of high treason.
[door opens]
[elevator bell dings]
[automated voice] Going up.
Hey, whoa, hey.
The plan is you wait here, cover our exit, no?
Oh, come off it. Watch a fucking door?
Kimiko, if Butcher steps one foot in that elevator, break his arm.
[automated voice] Please remove obstruction from doors.
Fuck me.
[tense, dramatic music playing]
[breathes deeply]
[urinating]
[urinating stops]
[inhales deeply]
[whimpers]
[sighs heavily]
[lively chatter]
Okay, big man, let’s do this.
There’s a lot of people in there.
[sighs]
Come on, kiddo.
Would you be scared of a bunch of cockroaches? Huh?
Yeah.
Yeah. [stammers] Then baby chicks or whatever.
Look, the-the point is, you have nothing to be nervous about.
Come on. We’ve talked about this.
They’re only humans and…?
[both] Toys for our amusement.
That’s right.
Yeah.
We got this.
[overlapping chatter]
[cameras clicking]
Hold up, hold up.
Okay, we got a problem.
W-Wait, what is… he doing here?
[Mother’s Milk over comms] Homelander’s in the building.
If you see him, do not engage. I repeat,
do not engage with Homelander.
That means you, Butcher, you copy?
My goodness, you look beautiful this evening.
Especially you. Zoe, uh, y-you remember my son, Ryan?
Yeah. Hi.
Hi.
Hey, Zo, you know what? I heard that this hotel makes its own ice cream.
Why don’t you take Ryan and try and find some, huh?
What a great idea. Go for it, sport.
Just nobody come back pregnant.
[laughs] Just kidding.
I’m kidding, I’m kidding. They’re too young. Although,
Ryan could spew goo if he wanted to.
What the fuck are you doing here?
Oh, I’ve supported every new administration
for the past… [sputters] 16 years.
[chuckles] I don’t want your support. You’re on trial for fucking murder.
Hi, Doug. [laughs]
One,
that’s a formality, and two, that’s a clear-cut case of self-defense.
That thug threw a projectile at my son.
It was a plastic bottle.
Could’ve had anthrax in it.
Not that that would’ve hurt us, but there was a principle at stake.
And, besides, when I took that monster down, people applauded.
Your shareholders didn’t.
[laughs] Well, that’s why you and me are gonna prove to them
that even with a “soft on crime” fucking libtard
for a president…
Mm.
…it’s gonna be business as usual at Vought.
Any transaction you and I may or may not have had is ancient history.
[laughs]
Well, then let’s make some new history.
Ladies and gentlemen, Victoria Neuman.
[chuckles]
Let’s give her a round.
[cheering]
Huh?
Girls get it done in the White House.
Hmm? God bless you.
[indistinct chatter]
[chuckling]
Give us a minute here, would you, love?
[tense music playing]
[typing on phone]
Listen, Ryan, I’ve got a lot to say…
and fuck all time to say it.
I got a lorry out back. I can get you out of here.
What are you talking about?
I know you’re angry at me, and you’ve got every right to be.
But you know how dangerous Homelander is.
He’s my dad.
Right.
H-He murdered some poor sod right in front of your eyes.
That guy was a pedophile.
It ain’t true.
He-He’s lying to you.
Let me take you to Grace, all right?
A-And then you don’t got to see me no more.
Please, I’m… I’m begging you.
It’s what your mom would want.
No means no, William.
This isn’t the Neverland Ranch. [chuckles]
Don’t worry. Nothing bad’s gonna happen, right?
Oh.
Seems it already has.
Look at that big black mass curdling around your brain.
[chuckles]
What do you got, six months?
Less?
That’s too bad. W-We’re not gonna have that last dance together.
I’ll miss us.
[chuckles] Bloody hell.
You wank to your own voice, don’t you?
[scoffs]
That’s the spirit, champ.
[chuckles] Son.
[tense, suspenseful music playing]
Come on. I do not want to miss Smash Mouth.
[♪ Smash Mouth: “Walkin’ on the Sun”]
[beeps]
♪ It ain’t no joke ♪
♪ I’d like to buy the world a toke ♪
♪ And teach the world to sing in perfect harmony ♪
♪ And teach the world… ♪
So many pantsuits.
♪ And the liars, hey, I know ♪
♪ It’s just a song, but it’s spice ♪
♪ For the recipe, this is a love attack ♪
♪ I know it went out, but it’s back ♪
♪ It’s just like any fad ♪
♪ It retracts before impact ♪
♪ And just like fashion, it’s a passion for the ♪
♪ With-it and hip, if you got the goods ♪
♪ They’ll come and buy it…
Mom?
[door closes]
What are you doing in here?
[agent 1] Apologies, Miss Neuman,
we’re with your mother’s detail.
Is that Zoe?
We’ll be done in just a minute.
Why don’t you wait outside.
[shrieks]
[screaming]
Frenchie, what’s happening?
[Frenchie] She’s a fucking Supe.
She’s a fucking Supe!
Yeah, I guess I’ll just, uh…
[van door slams]
…wait here.
[dramatic music playing]
It’s okay.
We see nothing.
Ça va? Non ça va?
[shrieks]
We need an exit, now!
[exciting music playing]
There’s a window on the south end of the hallway.
Uh… We’re eight stories up.
[Annie] Frenchie, trust me.
[Zoe shrieking]
[crowd murmuring]
No!
Frenchie!
Motherfucker.
[screams]
[panting]
[somber music playing]
[panting]
Yes.
Oh, shit. Oh, mon Dieu.
Oh, God.
Oh, gross.
Thank Christ. Can we go now? Jesus.
Hey, you.
Hey.
You got to teach Butcher the meaning of the word “covert.”
He just got made by a 12-year-old.
You mean Zoe, who just murdered two guys?
Vic, you-you shot your own daughter up with V? How could you do that to her?
I needed to keep her safe.
Safe?
You turned her into a fucking monster. Like you.
I’m sorry. That sounds like the pot calling the kettle
a teleporting dude with his dick out.
Worst mistake I ever made.
Vic, you and me, we were…
We were like family. I mean…
was everything just… bullshit?
[scoffs]
I almost told you once.
That night of the blackout, you remember?
You brought every bodega snack you could carry for Zoe.
We played Uno with her for hours until the lights came back on.
And I thought…
…you were one of my closest friends.
I mean, hell, you’re dating a Supe.
If anyone would understand, it’d be you, right?
Why didn’t you tell me?
I was scared.
Scared you’d have to pop my head.
I was scared to lose you.
[sighs]
I always cared about you, Hughie.
That part was real.
Hey, Vicky.
Fuck you!
Oh!
Seriously? Ugh.
I have to be on TV in, like, ten minutes, you fucking asshole.
We’re gonna out you. We’re gonna go to the press, tell them you blew up Congress.
I still, I still got the Red River files.
Okay, okay, okay. Have you ever seen WarGames?
What am I saying, look at you, of course you’ve seen fucking WarGames.
We’re making jokes?
Mutually assured destruction.
I hurt you, you out me. You out me,
I kill everyone you’ve ever loved.
The only thing that makes sense is a truce.
Or plan B.
[gunshot]
Jesus fucking… [gasping]
[Neuman groans]
How is it you guys are actually getting worse at your jobs?
[phone chimes]
Mm. They just called Arizona.
Guess I better go change.
[panting]
[sighs]
[cheering]
[rock music playing]
[dramatic music playing]
Nice of you to show up. Where the hell you been?
The bog. Trying to wash off the stench of failure
from your cock-up last night.
Shut the fuck up, Butcher.
Grace.
Not you.
Oh, come off it.
I washed my bollocks and all.
M?
There are people who,
because of ignorance or maybe insanity,
still believe you have something to contribute.
I’m not one of them.
I’ll get the kid back, Grace.
I’ll make it right.
[somber music playing]
Two agents from my detail are dead at the hands of a 12-year-old.
We had to tell their families they snorted fentanyl-laced cocaine at the after-party.
Sir, our intel told us the acid would work on Neuman.
She’s no idiot.
She’ll know I was behind it.
Goddamn it! Everyone told me to pick Buttigieg instead.
You didn’t know, sir. Marvin,
I vouched for you. The CIA is bankrolling you.
All due respect, ma’am,
you can always put Butcher back in charge. He’s right outside.
What about Starlight?
She goes by Annie now.
Can Annie burn out Neuman’s fucking eyes, debilitate her?
If she can get close enough to her without getting her head popped off, who knows?
But we might have to accept the possibility that Neuman’s… invulnerable.
Congress certifies the election January 6.
After that, a Supe is one heartbeat away from the presidency.
My fucking heartbeat.
Now, I can only keep my distance from her for so long.
Eliminating her is top priority.
So do your fucking job.
Yes, ma’am.
♪ Never gonna give you up ♪
Fuck. ♪ Never gonna let you down ♪
♪ Never gonna run ♪♪
Somewhere else you need to be?
No, sir.
[muffled chatter continues]
[Kessler] Billy Butcher.
Joe Kessler.
Fuck me. How long’s it been?
Uh, I’d say 11 years, but, officially speaking,
none of that shit show ever happened.
Then how come I remember you high on opium,
rimming out the General’s wife?
Well, fuck you.
[both laughing]
Hey, let me buy you a bad cup of coffee.
[Kessler] Demoted from your own fucking team.
What’s your shitty code name again?
The Boys.
Oof. Who came up with that shit?
Why you putting up with it? Walk away.
No, my son, I’ve got plans and schemes.
I’ll be back at the head of the table in no time.
[Kessler] Well, you better.
You know, a lot of the guys are thinking you got benched
at the worst possible time.
You know, Mallory’s so focused on killing the VP-Elect
’cause that’s what Singer wants, and half of goddamn Langley’s on it.
Well, you know Grace, she’s always been a bit of a political animal.
And what are you focused on?
Homelander.
He killed that poor cunt in broad daylight, and they fucking cheered.
I mean, what you think that taught him, eh?
No.
We’re whistling away towards a fucking apocalypse,
and Grace’s eye ain’t on the ball.
You had a clean shot at him, right?
With Soldier Boy? You didn’t take it.
Was your eye on the ball?
Why do I get the feeling we ain’t just bumped into each other?
You remember the Panjshir Valley?
Yeah. Pretty hard to forget.
You dragged me out of there and dropped how many bodies to do it,
without giving it a second fucking thought.
And yet you still didn’t name your son after me, eh?
We need someone like you, Billy. Right fucking now.
Before the Supes start rounding us up and dumping us off in camps.
[tense music playing]
[knock on door]
Hey.
A tie? You going to prom?
[chuckles]
What’s up?
[sighs] Janine.
She got into a fight at school.
Principal didn’t say why, just that she KO’d a boy.
A boy?
Don’t you dare be proud right now.
She’s been slamming doors, Marvin.
She told me to “eat a dick.”
Janine said that?
She’s been having a hard time since Todd moved out.
You mean, since you kicked him out?
Let’s dial down the glee in your voice, but, yes,
since I kicked him out.
But Janine still loves him.
She’s worried.
Worried about what?
Todd got so deep into all that weird Hometeamer shit.
He’s not answering my calls. I don’t know where he is.
Okay, so…?
And you’re good at finding people.
Oh, come on. Monique…
For your daughter, Marvin.
[sighs]
Well, I get what you saw in that guy. He was good to Janine.
‘Cause it sure as shit wasn’t the D. [scoffs]
Right?
[Madelyn] You have to be good.
[Vogelbaum] You’re my greatest failure.
[overlapping voices]
[grunts]
It’s your destiny.
[overlapping voices]
[intense, pulsing music playing]
[Homelander] It’s because deep down there’s a part of you that is still…
human.
[gasps]
[Judge Roemhildt] Don’t get brazen with me.
You’re not to refer to the deceased as the “victim.”
It’s a loaded term and for the jury to decide.
[Ashley] Sir, so I’m afraid we are behind on the Tower Reconstruction,
but I can 100% assure you that it is not my fault.
[Nneka over TV] But it wasn’t until Annie January stepped out
from Vought’s shadow, and Homelander’s,
that we saw the true extent of her power.
Vought and Homelander aren’t above the law.
They can’t just do whatever they want.
[Hailey over TV] Deep, we got to talk about the octopus in the room.
Your ex, Cassandra, wrote a tell-all book…
I’m gonna have to stop you right there, Hailey.
You know, there were no relations with an octopus.
It’s, uh, it’s just a racist rumor and a ridiculous lie
perpetuated by a jilted and, uh… [scoffs]
emotionally unstable hysterical woman,
who, let’s be clear, pooped in my bed.
Deep, please tell me the fucking octopus is gone.
Yes, Ashley. She’s…
It is taken care of. Okay?
Hey, Noir.
[Ashley] Sir, after that debacle at Godolkin…
thank you again for saving my life…
the board felt we should find new candidates for The Seven, ASAP.
The selection committee has
narrowed it down to 25 choices.
Um, okay, great.
If we’re going purely on socials, I might suggest Talon out of Redlands.
[Deep] Pass. She’s a butterface.
Her body’s on point, but her face…
[Ashley] Yeah, I get it.
Thank you so much for explaining.
[whispers] Chauvinist prick.
Ugh, not that slutty cum rag.
Hold up, I thought he ate a dog.
He ate out a dog.
It’s a big difference.
[Ashley sighs]
[A-Train] Sister Sage? Hell no.
She was with me in Teenage Kix for, like, barely a year
before they canned her ass.
What’s her power?
[A-Train] She’s the world’s smartest person.
She’s not smart enough to know when to shut her mouth.
Wrangler. Isn’t he a…
Texas nutjob. The San Antonio office had to cover up those migrant murders.
I kind of like him.
[Ashley] Of course,
he bumps us with suburban women and white men over 50.
Amazing choice, sir.
Yeah, I totally agree. He’s a mensch.
Did I use that word right? Mensch?
You just said he was crazy.
[Ashley] What I meant was we would be crazy
to, you know, not bring him in.
[Homelander groans]
I am surrounded by sycophants and fucking imbeciles.
It’s just that you make a lot of really great points, sir.
Deep, just…
Blow A-Train.
What?
[Homelander] I’m not kidding. Go over there, pull out
A-Train’s cock and blow him.
[scoffs] Okay.
[breathes deeply]
[Homelander] Get up.
[sighs heavily]
[exhales]
[chuckles] Sex is just a spectrum, right, bro?
Get off your fucking knees.
This is exactly
what I’m talking about. Not one of you
has the stomach to challenge anything I say.
Oh, my God.
I have got to carry this entire fucking company on my shoulders.
You’re… right?
[tense music playing]
I wasn’t gonna do it.
Homelander faces his toughest opponent yet, our corrupt legal system.
Smash that donate button, get a free tote…
Roland Keating attacked Homelander’s son.
♪ We shall…
[announcer] The magic of Vought on Ice, coming December 7 at VoughtCoin Arena.
Things grew heated between the Starlighter
and Hometeamer movements outside the courthouse today.
This creep had photos of his quote-unquote “niece”
naked in the bathtub.
He’s an antifa pedo who fucked around and found out.
And “an eye for an eye” might be in the Jew section of the Bible,
but it is still in the Bible.
[coughs]
Yes. Steady.
Good, good.
[grunts]
Yes.
[groaning]
Annie, that was awesome. Look, look. It’s a new record. 33 seconds.
Oh, amazing. I can fly 100 feet away from all my cares.
And drain the power grid at the same time.
What would Greta say?
[phone buzzing, ringing]
[clattering]
[mutters in French]
Six months of work, c’est merde!
So the acid didn’t work.
We’ll think of something else.
Like what? Yeah.
Hey, look, I-I-I totally agree with whatever you said.
No one wants Neuman gone more than me,
and no one knows how dangerous she is for the country.
Yeah, we may never get another shot like that ever again…
I am really bad at pep talks.
Oh, you think?
[muttering]
All right, I’m out of here.
Recycling bin, motherfucker.
[sighs]
[door closes]
What? [sighs]
He blew our cover with Neuman.
Mm-hmm.
He almost got you killed again.
Uh-huh.
You’re the only one that wants him here.
We should cut him loose.
We’re not cutting him loose.
We’re not cutting him loose.
Well, it’s a fine time to fucking well bring that up, innit?
[tense music playing]
It’s gonna be a lot harder to do a murder with them cunts around.
Them? Nah.
They’re, uh, hand-picked, sort of secret-secret service, so…
I’m surprised you called.
I’m full of surprises, ain’t I?
What do you want?
Well, I was thinking that, uh, you and I could scratch each other’s backs.
Like when you shot me in the head?
I need a hand to get Ryan away from Homelander.
[chuckles] Is that all? Boy needs a father.
That cunt ain’t no father.
And you are?
[clears throat]
You’re between a cock and a hard place.
I’m going to put you into that posh VP slot,
and he’s gonna make sure you spend the next four years
grabbing your ankles while he shoves it up your ass.
I think I can handle myself.
Oh, you mean that nasty little virus they cooked you up at Godolkin?
Yeah, I know about it,
and I know it ain’t strong enough to kill Homelander yet.
And then there’s the hard place.
The full weight of the CIA and my Boys working 24/7 to top you.
You need me.
If I was even gonna think about this…
I’d want a show of good faith.
The material Hughie has on me from the Red River Group Home.
That don’t stop him from going to the press.
Mm. Stops them from printing it.
Just a wild conspiracy theory from a disgruntled former staffer.
Those are my terms.
You know where to find me.
Motherfucker. I just logged in five minutes ago.
What’s happening?
This shit.
Uh… Oh, okay, yeah, you got to hit
“Keep me logged in.”
[phone buzzes]
Sorry. Uh, yeah, “Keep me logged in.”
But, uh, spoiler alert, that will not keep you logged in. [chuckles]
[man on phone] This message is for Hugh Campbell.
I’m calling again from New York Central Hospital.
Your father was admitted…
Fuck. Fuck!
Kid?
[tense music playing]
Sorry.
Dad? I’m…
The Starlight House, a so-called “home for at-risk teens.”
Sure. And Jeff Epstein killed himself.
No, the only thing these teens are at risk of is being groomed
and thrown into Starlight’s LGBTerror-dungeon.
Child Lives Matter, folks…
It’d be a lot easier to get media coverage if you were there.
Homelander’s verdict will 1,000% be innocent,
and I’m not showing up to even dignify that shit.
Annie, I’m happy to organize the protest and-and make the speech,
but no one wants to hear it
’cause it’s the Starlighter Movement and I’m not Starlight.
Well, neither am I.
Then, tell that to her.
The whole reason I quit was to get away from her.
Now, you’re killing it with the Starlighters.
You don’t need me.
If… just if… you were Starlight,
then maybe we’d drum up some real donations.
I want to help, of course, but as Annie January.
No one’s donating to the Annie House. It sounds like we sell raisin cookies.
[quietly] Hey.
Hey.
So, Colin is annoying as hell,
but he has saved my ass more than a few times
over the past few months, so thank you for the rec.
He’s a champ. Oh, je t’en prie.
You know, I can tell this even from our first group meeting.
Anonymous meetings.
Right there in the name.
[chuckles]
Excuse-moi.
Mm-hmm.
Pardon.
I should not have brought up our meetings.
It’s okay.
I love my boss knowing I’m an ex-junkie. [chuckles]
[door opens, closes]
[quiet chatter]
[gentle music playing]
[breathes deeply]
[ominous music playing]
[audiobook playing in fast-forward over earbuds]
[knock at door]
[clicks tongue]
Shit.
[toddler crying nearby]
I am almost never surprised.
May I come in?
Sister Sage.
Just Sage.
Right.
Vought added the “Sister” part.
Can’t have one of us without a racial qualifier.
Ha.
Never seen you without the suit.
Why incognito?
You know, I would’ve thought the smartest woman on Earth
would have a nicer place.
Smartest person,
and that person’s too smart to give a fuck about Pottery Barn.
Okay. Preach, sister.
Well, um…
You’re so smart.
Show me.
Show me.
Based on your public appearances,
your stylist is dying your hair more often.
Used to be every month, now it’s every 2.4 weeks.
Did she tell you you’re going gray,
or is she hiding it?
[scoffs]
So between that and your enlarged prostate…
My fucking what?
Look at your hands.
You’ve been washing them more often,
so likely you’ve been peeing more often, which makes sense.
You got a lot of power, but you do age.
Plus, there’s that small matter your own father almost killed you.
[chuckles] Wow.
Any mouth breather could see you’re going through some existential midlife…
whatever.
Pretty ballsy for someone whose power is a party trick.
You are welcome to laser me,
but I’m guessing you need me and my party trick for something.
Hmm.
I need advice.
From someone on my level.
Of course, if you breathe a word of this, I’ll pull you apart bit by bit.
Naturally.
God, I’ve spent my life scaling to the peak of-of Vought.
It’s all I ever wanted. And-and… now that I have it…
You’re still not happy?
[sighs]
I save people, they cheer. I fucking kill people, they cheer.
It’s-it’s meaningless.
Humans are nothing. They’re, they’re less than nothing.
They’re just toys for my amusement.
And yet they control everything.
It’s unnatural.
What kind of legacy am-am I gonna leave to my son?
[stammers] A shithole country in a shithole world?
Or something better?
Something… pure and cleansed.
Like… marble.
You do realize that probably won’t make you happy, either.
Still.
Tell me how you’d go about it.
Hypothetically.
[exhales]
Well… Greece,
all democracies, they fail because people are fucking stupid.
You don’t need an army of Supermen like Nazi bae wanted… so German.
If you crush the masses, who builds your monuments?
Who tongues your taint?
No.
The people will tear it apart themselves,
just got to nudge ’em a little.
Then you get to swoop in, be the one saving it.
Like Caesar.
Like Caesar.
Statistically, it’s inevitable.
I’d like you to join the Seven.
No fucking way.
Why not?
Because I’m not wearing
some vaguely racist super suit in front of a bunch of clapping seals.
Plus, I’m a Black woman who is a thousand times smarter than you.
Your ego can’t handle it.
I’m pretty smart myself.
See what I mean?
Smart enough to listen.
I mean really listen to you.
[sighs] You can stay here,
reeking of Taco Bell and loneliness,
or we can put some of your theories into practice on a global scale.
When’s the last time you got a chance like that?
[sighs softly]
Butcher, what are you doing here?
Couldn’t sleep.
What about you?
Um, my dad, he, uh, he had a stroke.
Oh, fuck.
I’m sorry to hear that, mate.
Just gonna grab a few things before I get back to him.
Is he, uh…
I-I don’t know.
He-he called me right before it happened, and, um… I didn’t pick up.
Why didn’t I pick up?
I mean, maybe I could’ve seen it coming.
I could… I could’ve…
No, no, no. Hughie.
Don’t beat yourself up about it. There’s nothing you could’ve done.
All he ever wants is to chat about some stupid fucking James Patterson book
that he’s reading, and I couldn’t even give him that.
And now they’re saying that even if he lives…
God.
Yeah, well, I know what I’d want.
Quick lights out. Better than the alternative.
Sitting there, stewing in your mistakes…
…as you wait out the inevitable.
[zipper closes]
I hope your old man pulls through.
Thank you. I… Oh.
[Annie] Hughie?
Hey.
[sighs] I’m so sorry.
I got here as soon as I could.
I’m sorry.
[sighs] I’m okay.
[newscaster speaking over radio]
[Frenchie] Turn here.
Right here?
Yes.
So, what does the CIA think of you wasting their vast resources,
all to hunt down the phone of Todd?
I didn’t ask.
Just like I didn’t ask you to come, either.
Mm. We are here for you always, mon ami.
[phone chimes]
Colin?
Why do you ask?
You’ve been spending a lot of time…
…together in the bathroom…
Sorry, I should’ve said something.
But it’s complicated.
To be clear
I love you.
Moi aussi.
But you and I..
Are not happening.
I know.
So if Colin makes you happy…
Go be happy.
Yo, white boy spotted.
[pulsing music playing]
[Todd] How’s it going, Nick? Here for the meet-up?
Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
[Todd] Cool.
[Frenchie] That’s a good question.
What’s that?
[Frenchie] She wonders, uh…
how a man such as this win the love of a woman
like Monique, you know?
[Mother’s Milk] Oh, he’s, uh, he’s nice to my daughter.
[Frenchie] Come on, there is only one reason.
Todd must be packing some serious heat between his legs.
Seriously, Frenchie, you did not have to come.
[Frenchie] Okay, I’m only saying,
the man has some serious Pete Davidson energy over there, no?
[camera clicking]
You recognize her?
Not sure.
Hi, fellas. Thanks for making it on such short notice.
He’s here, right? Like, in the building here?
This is the best day of my life.
Yeah.
[camera clicking]
Well, you know, Dirk, I’m not actually holding my breath underwater.
I’m technically breathing underwater.
So it’s more impressive.
Mmm. A-Train, try these buffalo ranch bacon blasters.
They’re juicy.
Sage.
It’s good to see you again.
[quietly] What the fuck are you doing here?
Homelander’s tired of being surrounded by morons.
Hello, everyone.
[Todd] Homelander!
I just want to say, it’s a huge honor to be here with you.
Right. Now, I can’t stay long,
but I heard that you are some of my biggest fans,
supporting me when others turned their backs.
I just wanted to personally say…
thank you for your devotion and your sacrifice.
W… Well, really, it’s you who gives so much to…
You people are more than just fans.
You’re martyrs to the greatest cause on Earth.
Open it.
You got it.
Whoa. Bats.
Yeah.
I want you to take these bats
and beat these gentlemen to death.
[laughing] You’re funny.
[laughs] Oh, it’s like one of your tests. You want us to say no.
No, Deep.
This is not a test.
I want you to beat these gentlemen to death… now.
I think maybe we should go.
Oh, Jesus!
Mm-hmm.
Oh, shit.
Jesus!
[intense music playing]
Stay here.
Wait for further instructions.
[door opens]
[door closes]
[sighs]
Yo, what the fuck? That was so fucked-up, you guys.
[Mother’s Milk] What the fuck is he doing here?
[Frenchie] He should be at his trial, no?
Shit.
[Cameron] This exclusive live footage
of Homelander arriving at the courthouse just now.
The verdict will be read any moment.
So stay with us after these important messages.
[announcer] Are you ready to stop reusing your catheter and start living your life?
[crowd chanting, clamoring]
[overlapping shouting]
[phones chiming]
[man] The verdict’s coming.
Jurors are seated. Any second.
[shouting quiets]
[phones chiming, buzzing]
Not guilty!
[crowd cheering]
Fuck you, fascist!
[clamoring]
[intense music playing]
[overlapping shouting]
[grunting]
[shouting continues]
[reporter] From outside the courthouse
where the jury has returned a verdict.
[gasps]
Homelander is not guilty of murder.
Go.
The scene outside the courthouse is chaotic.
Homelander and Starlight supporters out en masse…
You got this.
Go. Go.
Okay, okay.
…what was a peaceful demonstration has turned violent.
We urge everyone: Stay home…
[horn blasting]
[clamoring, shouting]
[grunting]
Colin…
[dramatic music playing]
Colin!
You all right?
[panting]
[grunting]
Colin. Colin. No, no! It’s me.
It’s me. Come on.
I’m-I’m okay. I’m okay. [coughs] I’m okay.
No. Are you all right?
Sorry, I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m okay.
[chuckling]
[phone chimes]
[sighs]
[clamoring]
[clamoring grows louder]
Everyone, remain calm. We’re all very special people.
Stop it. Stop.
[panting]
Everybody, please, please go home!
We can fight but not like this!
Annie! Annie!
[grunting]
[man] Bitch!
Fucking traitor!
Hey! Get off of her.
[shouting continues]
Get off of her! Get off of her.
Kiara.
Kiara. Kiara?
Oh, God. Help! Help, someone help.
[panting] Help, please.
Kiara.
[woman screams]
Excuse me, pardon me.
[man] I saw it myself.
It was the Starlighters, man.
[bystanders murmuring]
[officer] Please return to your homes.
Please exit the facility in an orderly fashion.
Please exit the facility in an orderly fashion.
Please return to your homes.
[clamoring, shouting]
Justice prevailed today
as the jury in Homelander’s murder trial handed down a not-guilty verdict.
But that moment of national healing was cut tragically short.
Violent attacks by Starlight supporters left three innocent patriots dead.
Out of respect, we are gonna wait until all families have been notified
before we release the names of the victims.
But we know that each of them gave their lives
exercising their constitutional right…
No, let her sleep.
I’ll come by first thing in the morning, we’ll tell her together.
Yeah.
[Cameron] …that have saved us over and over
and over, without asking anything in return.
Folks…
[ominous music playing]
Our only solace is that Homelander will remain free to protect us all.
Now that this endless miscarriage of justice is behind him,
Homelander can return his focus to what really matters…
standing up for the good guys.
You gonna finish that?
True Americans.
Oh, come on, buddy.
We’re supposed to be celebrating.
What’s wrong?
No, it… it’s nothing. [chuckles]
Come on, now. We-we talked about this.
We have to share everything with each other,
do everything together, until we almost merge into one.
So, you tell me, son. Whatever it is, it’s-it’s okay.
I don’t want Butcher to die.
But even after he abandoned you like that?
[sighs] That was brutal.
And all those things he said about you.
He said awful, awful things about you.
Just horrible.
My mom loved him.
[somber music playing]
But what about you?
[scrubbing]
[sighs] Noir was right, that was so fucked-up.
[woman’s voice] You have every right to be upset.
I’m upset for you.
What if we just left?
We could vanish under the waves forever.
Everyone there loves you for you.
As the sweet, sensitive, really strong swimmer you are.
[sniffles]
Look at me.
Baby, look at me.
We wouldn’t have to hide our love anymore.
We could just be Kevin and Ambrosius.
[chuckles softly]
[tranquil music playing]
[intriguing music playing]
[machine beeping]
Mm.
[Hugh Sr.] Hey, so, I just finished reading Deadly Cross.
[chuckles] I mean, how does Patterson do it?
I liked it even more than Criss Cross, Cross Justice,
Double Cross, Triple Cross,
Cross Fire, Cross Country, Cross the Line, even Cross My Heart.
You know, so, anyway, lots to talk about. Uh, give me a call. I love you, son.
You get better, okay?
You get better, and I will talk to you for hours about Deadly Cross.
You can read the whole fucking book to me if you want.
Deal?
I really hope you can hear me.
[woman] For what it’s worth, I think he can.
Mom?
[Becca] Billy.
You promised me you would take care of Ryan.
Bloody hell, what’d you think I’m trying to do here?
I think you’re about to fuck over Hughie, again.
And it’s going to blow up in your face, again.
I saved the kid, at the Tower, didn’t I?
I had a clean shot at Homelander, game, set and fucking match,
but I chose to save him.
And look where it got us.
You promised me.
If Ryan becomes like Homelander, that’s the end of the world.
Don’t you think I know that?
You have to find a better way.
What the hell do you want from me, Becca?
Be the man that I married.
That man died a long time ago.
It’s too late.
I’m out of time…
[sniffles]
[phone chimes]
Oh, for fuck’s sake.
Well, I hope you’re happy now.
[♪ Sex Pistols: “God Save the Queen”]
♪ God save the queen ♪
♪ The fascist regime ♪
♪ It made you a moron ♪
♪ Potential H-bomb ♪
♪ God save the queen ♪
♪ She ain’t no human being ♪
♪ There is no future ♪
♪ In England’s dreaming ♪
♪ Don’t be told what you want to want to ♪
♪ And don’t be told what you want to need ♪
♪ There’s no future, no future ♪
♪ No future for you ♪
♪ God save the queen ♪
♪ We mean it, man ♪
♪ We love our queen ♪
♪ God saves ♪
♪ God save the queen ♪
♪ ‘Cause tourists are money ♪
♪ And our figurehead ♪
♪ Is not what she seems ♪
♪ Oh, God save history ♪
♪ God save your mad parade ♪
♪ Oh, Lord, God have mercy ♪
♪ All crimes are paid ♪
♪ When there’s no future, how can there be sin? ♪
♪ We’re the flowers in the dustbin ♪
♪ We’re the poison in your human machine ♪
♪ We’re the future, your future ♪
♪ God save the queen ♪
♪ We mean it, man ♪
♪ We love our queen ♪
♪ God saves ♪
♪ No future ♪
♪ No future ♪
♪ No future for me ♪
♪ No future ♪
♪ No future ♪
♪ No future for you ♪
♪ No future ♪♪
