Monsieur Spade
Season 1 Episode 6
Episode Title: n/a
Original release date: February 18, 2024
Spade discovers who has been following him. Philippe sets up a deal for the boy that quickly goes sideways, leading to a dangerous confrontation on the old town bridge. A mysterious newcomer arrives, uncovering secret identities and agendas.
* * *
[ “Doucement, doucement” by Henri Salvador plays ]
♪
[ Both panting ]
♪
[ Marguerite moans ]
♪
[ Jean-Pierre whispers in French ]
[ Both sighing ]
[ Music continues ]
♪
[ Marguerite clears throat ]
♪
[ Gentle music plays ]
[ Dog tags jingling ]
♪
Wait.
♪
I’ll make coffee.
♪
[ Door latch clicks ]
♪
[ Birds chirping in background ]
Jean-Pierre hated cemeteries.
He hated the monuments and marble.
He called them “a waste of a good garden.”
He always said he wanted to be cremated and sprinkled over Edgar’s food.
Certainly be an improvement.
So…
This little boy.
Is he why Philippe shot my husband?
I do not know.
But you brought the boy here?
I found him here.
And, yet, you did not tell me.
I told Jean-Pierre.
But after a day.
I didn’t know what else to do.
You could have brought him to me.
And what would you have done with him?
I don’t know. Maybe talked to someone in your mosque.
Which is what I did.
And?
The imam came to look at him, but he said he was being watched, and so could not do anything until he spoke to his people in Algeria.
So why didn’t you wait?
We were also being watched.
By?
I don’t know.
But there was always a man outside.
So I went to Jean-Pierre for help.
And why Jean-Pierre?
He once saved my life.
So you thought he could save the boy’s?
He said that he knew someone who was already looking for him.
To take him home?
That’s what I thought at the time, yes.
Meaning what, now you don’t?
Philippe said something to Jean-Pierre.
Something strange.
He said that… “The debt was now paid.”
Philippe got him out of the war.
Okay. You can go home.
But remain there.
I’ll come by later to talk to your family.
I am very sorry.
Stop.
I can’t hear that word “sorry” right now.
You need to leave.
In fact, all of you need to leave.
Let me sit here and scream in peace.
[ Tense music plays ]
[ People chattering ]
♪
Can I bum one of those?
I put it on your tab.
♪
[ Lighter clicking ]
♪
[ Coughing ]
You okay?
[ Sam coughs ]
Never better.
[ Coughing ]
♪
[ Motorcycle rumbling ]
♪
[ Gentle music plays ]
My dearest Marguerite, if you are reading this, it means I am gone.
Either by my own hand, or another’s.
I have no choice but to disappear in order to protect and free you…
♪
[ Motorcycle rumbling ]
[ Tense music plays ]
♪
Knock it off.
I’m already in a foul mood. Let’s not make it any worse.
Where’s the guy who belongs to the motorcycle?
What motorcycle?
That motorcycle, and the guy who rode in here.
What guy?
You think I’m fucking playing?
Another idiot with a gun.
Good morning, Henri.
How about you put the shooter away before you shoot someone in the street behind me?
I’m sorry, Monsieur Spade, I didn’t know you were you.
You thought I was a robber come to steal these old tires?
It’s hard to see in the dark with the helmet on.
Oh, Jesus.
I didn’t think there could be a worse liar than Teresa.
[ Sighs ]
Get over here!
Someone took a shot at Teresa and me, the same someone who’s been following me on a Norton Commander ever since Philippe showed up.
HENRI: Listen…
Don’t embarrass yourself.
I knew that Anatole was into something stupid
when I first came here and saw the motorcycle.
There are many things you don’t know about me, Monsieur Spade.
Oh, yeah, you’re a real man of mystery.
So what, you’re using Teresa to get to Philippe?
I was trying to warn you off.
I know how much you care about your tranquility.
Well, I care about Teresa.
You care so much about her that you took a shot at her?
I didn’t shoot at Teresa, I shot through the window, which I know could be fixed.
We discussed it beforehand, and we decided that…
Oh!
I’m talking to him right now.
And if you missed?
I never miss.
Oh, you have that much experience, do you?
I do.
Enough to kill someone like Philippe?
My superiors believe I do.
And we all know what good judges of character they are.
However good a shot you think you are, you could have killed Teresa, and trust me, I don’t think you could have lived with that.
You don’t know what I can live with.
No, what I meant, Henri,
is that I would’ve fucking killed you.
I’m not what you think I am, Monsieur Spade.
You’re exactly what I think you are.
You’re a sap who’s been sucked into Anatole’s OAS bullshit.
I’m not OAS, I’m Action Française.
Oh, Jesus, how many fuckin’ dogmatic maniacs can you have in one country?
Are we maniacs because we simply dream of another France, of the country we loved?
Versus what, the one you wanna blow up?
Well, I can see that the France in front of us is nowhere near the glorious France behind us.
And just how far back are you and your fellow romantics dreaming?
We are monarchist and anti-Communist.
Ugh.
I love my country.
I would die for my country.
Do you have to do all of your loving and dying in Bozouls?
Aren’t there are plenty of your fellow patriots in Argentina that you can write angry manifestos
and compare kill lists with?
Leave me to enjoy my cognac and foul cheese in peace?
You are not French.
You’re just an American enjoying the fruit of French sacrifice, but without any understanding of our history.
You make your smart-ass comments and tell your stupid jokes about France and French people, ignorant of all those who fought and died for their country.
You don’t fight for anything but yourself.
You sound like a leaflet someone dropped from an airplane.
I mean, you may not have noticed, but I do nothing but fight for the people in this, our place, and all the people who live around Le Truel, including you two ignorant dimwits.
And, yeah, I have a swell life.
Or at least I did until you all fucked it up.
I can’t even go for a swim in my pool anymore.
How terrible for you.
Yeah, it is a fucking tragedy.
Does your grandmother know about your new affiliation?
Didn’t think so.
Are you going to tell her?
You wanna break her heart, that’s on you.
Oh, and Henri, for the love of God, stop trying to protect us before you get us all killed.
[ Somber music plays ]
[ Insects chirping ]
What have you got there?
Firewood.
It was the dogwood I planted a couple years ago, to hide the neighbors.
What happened to it?
Lightning, looks like.
When did we have lightning?
I don’t know, but something split it down the middle.
[ Birds chirping ]
[ Low piano notes plunking ]
[ Door opens ]
[ Door slams ]
[ Piano notes continue ]
What’s wrong with you?
You’ve got that tigress-at-the-gate look.
You have a visitor.
SAM: Who is he?
HELENA: Mr. Kahn.
K-A-H-N.
[ Low piano notes plunking ]
Mr. Kahn?
Monsieur Spade, I bring greetings from a mutual friend, Detective Dundee.
I heard Dundee was dead.
A rumor, one no doubt started by Mrs. Dundee.
You and he met in the war?
What makes you say that?
Dundee fought in North Africa.
I was 12 and living in Syria.
No, the detective and I met on a different matter.
You want to sit down?
Lovely instrument.
My wife thought so.
I never had the ear.
I had the appreciation, but not the talent.
Not for music, anyway.
For what, then?
Ah, finding things that don’t want to be found.
I don’t read Arabic.
I’m a private investigator,
something else we have in common.
Had. Who’s paying you?
I cannot divulge the name of my employer, but I can say that my specialty is industrial sabotage.
Should I worry about my grapes?
This work has brought me into close contact with some of the richest, most powerful people in the world.
And let me guess, the rich and the powerful want the kid.
I’m in Bozouls to find Zayd and bring the boy to safety while punishing those who have taken him from his family.
Get in line.
A plan is, as they say, afoot.
Do you understand?
I understand that the child is valuable.
And dangerous.
A very sharp knife that only those skilled in such things will know how to use.
A knife will cut for anybody.
All more reason that no one person, country, or organization should have him.
But you just said you’re cuddling up to these people.
Quality of my bedfellows is not relevant if I retrieve the boy.
Happily, I’m ahead of all of them.
I know where he is.
If I cared, I’d applaud.
Well, to tell the truth, I knew where he was.
Do you know where the word “sabotage” comes from?
The dictionary.
The word derives from the French saboter, meaning to bungle, or botch, to wreck.
It originated when workers would go on strike, something of a national pastime here.
They would use a wooden shoe they wore, called sabot, to disrupt the machinery.
And this relates to me how?
You are, in this case, the sabot.
And what machinery am I disrupting?
The machinery that will enable me to bring Philippe and his terrorist concubine into custody, yet keep the boy alive.
So far, the boy seems pretty good at taking care of himself.
Yes, one could even say that someone is watching over him.
Lady Luck.
Not much of a believer, are you, Monsieur Spade?
A risk I’m willing to take.
Well, it was neither luck, nor God, nor even instinct that saved your life the other night.
It was me.
Too bad you couldn’t have done the same for Jean-Pierre.
Sadly, he too had wooden shoes.
I observed him entering the same harki home as the imam.
If you think Jean-Pierre
is part of some subversive conspiracy,
you owe your employers a refund.
I think Sergeant Devereux went up those stairs to make amends.
I think he made them on the way down.
I had hoped Sergeant Devereux would exercise some restraint.
Restraint was never Jean-Pierre’s brand of gin, nor mine.
I’m assuming that’s why we’re having this conversation.
As I have just said, I’m part of coordinated effort to, in the very near future, bring all of this to a quick end.
I’m not your problem.
I’m not worried about you.
Chief Michaud has been somewhat reluctant to cooperate.
He’s only reluctant when people lie to him.
The church feeding him a story that they’re looking into it, a suit from army intelligence posing as a cop from Paris, that kind of thing.
And the girl.
What about her?
She tells the truth?
Not on purpose.
Might she be a possible sabot?
More like a fly in the ointment.
Are you sure? Because until this boy is found and safely returned, we are on the edge of an abyss, one far more precarious than the truth.
I have a parachute.
And I see, a wise crack for every occasion.
[ Bell dinging ]
I will then handle this on my own.
I will, likewise, see myself out.
[ Knock on door ]
[ Gentle music plays ]
♪
♪
HELLO, MISTER SPADE
♪
[ Doors creak ]
♪
[ Insects chirping ]
Voilà.
Voilà what?
GABRIELLE: Notice anything different?
SAM: You filled the pool?
[ Laughs ] You really are something.
Well, give me a hint. What’s different?
Everything. The chair, the pillow, the umbrella.
Try it.
The pool was always too far from the house, so no one ever took advantage, but I think it will be good for you.
Ah, I’m not much of a swimmer.
That was the old you.
And now I’m the older me.
There’s only one.
You stay up at the house all day.
It’s a beautiful house.
Sometimes you sit outside on the patio, but you never wander.
Why would I wander down here when everything I want is up there?
I want you to know the whole place.
Not just the house, but the land.
The only way down here is past the cellars in the vineyard.
You’re bound to meet Basem, or the other workmen who you have not yet bothered to know.
I don’t need to know them.
They can teach you what we do.
Why do I need to know about making wine?
I don’t even drink the stuff.
Although I’m told the la vin claret is pretty good.
[ Laughs ] God, that name.
I’ve wanted to change that awful name since well, maybe you can come up with something.
Where was I?
Wine, which is your business.
Making you happy is mine.
And you’ve done your job well.
These have been the happiest four years of my life.
I hope you will stay.
I hadn’t planned on going anywhere.
You’re the one leaving.
I told you once that if we married, I would not be much of a wife.
Well, you lied.
I think we’re at the end.
Like hell we are.
Could be six months, could be three, but Pouchol says there’s nothing to be done.
Pouchol is a country doctor, which is barely a half step above town barber.
[ Chuckles ]
I’m giving you everything.
The grapes, the money, the house.
Everything I own is now yours.
Gabrielle.
I will not let you watch me die.
I’m taking you to someone in Paris.
I don’t want to go to Paris.
No, I’ve been reading about some new treatments we can try.
No, I’ve tried them, and I don’t want this to be a thing that we do.
This is about me, just me.
What, so the whole “in sickness and in health” thing just goes out the window?
You once told me that a life is an easy thing to walk away from.
Yeah, that’s just one of those fucking stories I tell.
[ Chuckles ]
When are you leaving?
If I tell you, you’ll only try to stop me.
Oh, that’s adorable. So why say anything at all?
Why not just go?
You considered that?
Sam…
Jesus, you are one tough broad.
Sam, I need you to let me go.
To wander off like an old dog?
To die as I please, with both our memories of these last years undiminished by some long, drawn-out end.
You would rather be alone?
For this next part, yes.
[ Emotional music plays ]
Do I get a goodbye?
That would be awful, no?
So how… how does this work?
I wake up one day and you’re gone?
Next time I see you is at your funeral?
♪
Look at me, Sam.
Whenever you want to see me come down here.
I’ll be waiting for you.
Are you going to stand there moping, or are you going to get in here?
♪
Did you know that Teresa was doing this?
Altering Gabrielle’s clothes?
Who do you think showed her how to use the sewing machine?
You could have asked.
Why?
These are not your clothes.
Gabrielle would have wished for the girl to do with them as she pleased.
Why does everyone always think they know
what Gabrielle would’ve wanted?
You are an idiot.
Teresa just wants you to like her.
Well, she’s not having this.
[ Birds chirping ]
[ Man groaning ]
[ Groaning continues ]
[ Ominous music plays ]
♪
[ Groaning continues ]
♪
[ Sighs ]
They don’t run.
They hide in the center of the village.
What were they waiting for?
[ Sighs ]
Brother,
I’m afraid we haven’t seen the worst…
Maurice?
[ Man groaning ]
Is someone there?
[ Ominous music plays ]
♪
[ Man groaning ]
♪
Helena?
[ Dishes clinking ]
I have not seen her. Nor Henri.
Are you worried about him?
Should I be?
♪
[ Birds chirping ]
♪
[ Lighter clicking ]
[ Tense music plays ]
♪
[ Gun clicking ]
♪
HENRI: For many French people, Algeria is France.
We made our lives there for generations.
So many felt abandoned.
So you’ve been there?
No.
So then why would you fight for a place you don’t know?
Not a place.
An idea.
What is this idea?
You would not understand.
But you and a car mechanic with a grudge and a strange sense of history do?
Stop pretending.
You are OAS. I stole your notebook.
What did you do that for?
To see if you knew where Philippe Saint-Andre was.
Don’t you think I would have said something if I did?
You did know and you didn’t say anything.
You were following him.
Writing down where he went and when.
I read all that, despite your sloppy handwriting.
You can be mad at me. Now I just want to know where…
I can’t tell you or Mr. Spade about Philippe.
Because you want to kill him.
There is a plan, one that is in motion as we speak, but I was told only to follow him.
After you found him by following me.
If you are a soldier, you need to decide who and what you fight for.
Who and what do you fight for?
The only thing I have ever been sure of.
Myself.
But that was before.
What happened?
I got two years older.
No matter who I give my loyalty to, the army or the OAS, they both want the same thing.
To kill your father.
He’s not my father.
[ Footsteps ]
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
♪
[ Cat screeches in distance ]
♪
I could hear you coming halfway across the city.
You are not the first to say that.
[ Passionate breathing ]
I have a present for you.
Oh, cold hands.
Warm heart.
[ Passionate breathing ]
He has two tickets for tomorrow’s train.
From Lyon to Barcelona.
First class, I hope.
[ Both moaning ]
From there, we go by car to the harbor where someone with a boat takes us…
Takes us…
Takes you where?
Somewhere.
I do hope you won’t get too lonely, sitting all that time beside an empty seat.
Oh, no, he’ll have his broken heart to keep him company.
GEORGE: But not his money.
You’re sure he’s in the dark?
I have invested much to make sure the dark is his favorite place to be.
My, my, such personal sacrifice.
[ Passionate breathing ]
And you? The lady has no suspicion?
None. Between all the butter and the wine, she’s barely awake most days.
[ Heavy breathing ]
Soon we’ll be doing this in the daylight.
On the beach.
On a towel, I hope.
I only have 10 minutes.
Well, I only need five.
[ Passionate breathing ]
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
♪
[ Engine roars ]
[ Thud ]
[ Distant radio chatter ]
[ “La Javanaise” by Serge Gainsbourg plays on radio ]
♪
[ Grunts ]
♪
[ Engine revs ]
[ Thud ]
♪
[ Gurgling ]
[ Car door slams ]
[ Footsteps ]
♪
Oh.
All this time, I thought you bent more for the blokes.
[ Spent shells clink ]
♪
[ Footsteps ]
[ Tense music plays ]
Maurice?
Has anyone come this way?
[ Tires screech in distance ]
Only you.
Maurice?
♪
[ Clatters, creaks ]
♪
Maurice?
Maurice!
Chief Michaud!
My dear, Madame Huchet.
I don’t suppose you’ve seen Maurice?
No, but something is happening in the the Hole.
What are you talking about?
I was on my way to the cemetery, to lay my Monday Iris for Mister Huchet, when I nearly bumped into a woman and a child on the bridge.
Okay.
They were Algerian.
And she had a gun.
When she saw me, she put her hand in her pocket and I could see the unmistakable shape of a Luger PO8.
You know what I’ve always liked about you?
No.
You’re observant.
Thanks. Goodbye.
[ Footsteps, insects chirping ]
♪
[ Knocking on door ]
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
♪
May I come in?
I’m not sure this is…
[ Door closes ]
♪
[ Eerie moaning ]
[ Water dripping ]
[ Grinding noise ]
[ Eerie moaning ]
[ Frantic muttering ]
Shh!
If you stay very quiet I won’t saw off your lovely head.
Mm.
Aah!
[ Grunts, groans ]
Bite me again,
I will bite back.
A gift to Jean-Pierre, from Philippe.
Philippe always understood how Jean-Pierre felt.
Being abandoned by his father and left with no money and an angry mother in a place which wanted no part of them.
Jean-Pierre told me that he had always thought of Philippe as his older brother.
So even when this town rejected the both of you, we were always kind to you.
This was important to Philippe, to Jean-Pierre, and, therefore, important to me.
♪
[ Brakes squeak ]
[ Tense music plays ]
♪
[ Door slams ]
♪
Mister Kahn, I presume?
Where is Sergeant Saint-Andre?
Nearby.
I never asked how Philippe got my husband home.
But saving his life then, did not give him the right to take it now.
I imagine Sergeant Saint-Andre has a rifle pointed at my head.
You imagine correctly.
So what, if I may ask, is there to stop him from shooting me the moment I hand this over?
I would imagine it’s the rifle you have pointed at my head.
♪
He could do with better training.
I caught him setting up earlier.
MARGUERITE: You can tell Philippe when you see him that I returned his gift.
The gun he gave a young man to defend himself.
The same gun the older version of that man planned on using to kill himself, had Philippe not done it himself.
After I walk out, you and I need never again speak to one another.
♪
[ Tires screech ]
[ Honks horn ]
♪
So who do you work for?
The boy’s family.
He has none.
And the soldier behind the rifle up there is French.
The only thing that matters
is this.
Alright?
Feel free to count.
[ Gunshots ]
[ Dogs barking in distance ]
[ Gunshot ]
[ Labored breathing ]
[ Tense music plays ]
♪
Zayd!
Come to me!
Hurry! Don’t be afraid.
Come here!
Zayd, come on.
Come on!
[ Gunshots ]
Sorry, Chief…
♪
Good boy.
Aah!
♪
[ Tires screech ]
What are you doing? I nearly…
It’s your brother.
[ Labored breathing ]
Go and get Pouchol!
The monk!
He has Teresa.
[ Muffled protests ]
MONK: I have a gun to her head.
♪
If you try to kill me, the girl will die.
[ Grunting ]
[ Muffled protests ]
Child of God,
save this girl.
[ Muffled protests ]
[ Muffled yells ]
♪
No! Zayd!
[ Monk speaks indistinctly ]
[ Muffled ] Run! Run! Run!
♪
For as in Adam all die, so in Christ…
TERESA: Let’s go! Help!
SAM: Teresa?
All will be made alive.
♪
TERESA: Do something!
[ Labored breathing ]
Mr. Spade.
I see him.
[ Coughing ]
[ Gunshot ]
[ Grunts ]
Aah!
[ Grunts ]
[ Insects chirping ]
Zayd?
Zayd?
[ Insects chirping ]
I think you’re going to miss your train.
Too bad.
Ah, if it isn’t Inspector Suchet of the Whatever.
This lump belong to you?
Technically, he’s yours.
I don’t give a damn.
I’ve changed my mind. This mess is all yours.
I’m going to see about my brother.
♪
Hi there!
I would appreciate it if you all would put those guns down.
♪
Now, please.
♪
[ Clatters ]
My grandfather died of a cerebral hemorrhage when he was 59.
His last words to my grandmother were, “Ruth, I have a headache.”
My grandmother’s last words to him were, “Who the hell is Ruth?” her name being Betty.
So, indeed, who was Ruth?
Some buried secret?
Or some buried nonsense?
That is my job, to sort the secrets from the nonsense.
I promise you, if you carry a secret in my presence, you won’t carry it for long.
Do not fool yourselves, you cannot lie to me.
You cannot hide anything from me.
So
Let’s just agree to share then, okay?
Good.
Let’s begin.
Sorry I’m late, everybody.
But getting to this town’s a pain in the ass.
More pain to come, Father.
Great.
Have a seat.
I’m good.
Okay.
My name is Virginia Dell, and I am a retired lieutenant colonel in the Canadian Special Operations Forces Command and current under secretary general of the United Nations Counsel on Peacetime Conflict Resolution.
Excuse me, what?
Exactly.
While none of you know who I am, I am relatively confident you know perfectly well why you are all sitting here.
What do we do with this child?
We? [ Laughs ]
If I may, why the nob should we tell you anything?
We were off to such a promising start.
MI6 has clear authority here.
What is so clear about it?
We’ve been following the boy for over two years.
Your Ladyship, you ply a trade that operates on a veritable potpourri of doctrines, tenets, codes, chief among them being finders keepers.
The fact of the matter is no one in this room has a legitimate claim on the boy.
So tell me why I should leave him with you.
Or you, or you, or… [ Huffs ]
Make your case why I shouldn’t send this child back to the land of his birth.
He’s a British citizen, and he has a British passport.
I have one of those, too.
French and German as well.
I even have one for San Marino.
Ah, yes, but you weren’t born in Leeds.
Neither was he.
He spent two months there with his family when he was already three years old.
LAURENT: He was born in Algeria.
And you, sir, are?
Laurent Sou’che, French Army Intelligence.
The child was born in Algeria, which makes him a French citizen.
Or an Algerian, depending on your point of view.
He was technically born in France.
One would have to practically break one’s spine to get into that particular position.
You have my respect, sir.
At the request of his family, we saved the child from the Algerian traffickers who held him.
I think, Monsieur Sou’che, that your English is not quite what you think it is, and by “save,” you mean “steal.”
The OAS stole him from his parents.
Oh, about the boy’s parents, where are they?
His father is in jail.
You care to elaborate?
For treason.
Oof! The queen mother of no-nos.
I should like to have a chat with that man before you put him down.
I’m afraid that is now impossible.
“Now” as in he’s already been executed?
Or “now” meaning you no longer have him in your custody?
The second one.
Barring some type of daring Count of Monte Cristo escape, am I to assume that an exchange of some sort led to this man’s freedom?
He alerted us to the boy’s exact location in Algeria.
We sent a man. He confirmed that the boy was in imminent danger.
So we gave the order to extract him.
To reunite him with his parents.
Because he can break codes.
To keep him safe from harm.
And what better way to keep a small child safe than with an Army sniper?
Oh, we didn’t send Sergeant Saint-Andre to Algeria to look after the boy.
We sent him to Algeria to assassinate a high-ranking FLN operative.
But he became distracted.
I assume you are referring to the FLN operative who earlier made that magnificent leap off the bridge and is currently somewhere at large in the French countryside.
Well done.
[ Chuckles ] Sorry.
I was just thinking about something funny that I saw one time, during the war.
Funny, like what, Sergeant?
Someone getting hit in the face with a shovel?
Oh. [ Chuckles ] nothing that funny.
I have to say, I never would have taken you for a naif.
Your Mr. Kahn was a cover.
Lousy pun of a name, if you ask me.
Cover for who?
Well, seeing that Mr. Sou’che was hiding in the backseat, I would guess that your soon-to-be ex-superiors at SDECE are part of the bargain.
And the other part?
Those facts are still murky.
But I wonder, how did the good father get here on such short notice?
Is there an airfield nearby that I somehow missed?
That’s quite the imagination you have.
In our line of work, imagination and experience are one in the same, wouldn’t you say?
I’m not in your line of work, so I couldn’t say.
Yes, you could.
No, I have no idea what you’re trying to allude to.
Tell me, Father, on Career Day at the seminary, did the agency have their own table with the lemonade and the plate of cookies?
Let’s move on to the bald Vatican errand boy who shot five nuns and an Algerian nanny…
The Church resents such accusations before kidnapping a 14-year-old girl!
17.
My mistake.
Tell me, Father, maybe you can shed some light on exactly what Rome was doing with Gaylord Rabideaux, one-time monk, full-time mental patient.
The Church bears no responsibility for anything that’s happened here.
Oh, you must have that tattooed to the inside of your eyelids.
I don’t have to listen to this.
No, you don’t. You can read the details later in Le Monde, “Church Kills Nuns”… it’s a headline that’ll translate across a multitude of tongues.
You put that maniac cue ball on the street, and as far as the U.N., Interpol, and a few other honest Injuns are concerned, whatever happens after that, you own it.
And which one are you, huh? What, are you Interpol?
U.S. Army intel?
You can go now, Section Chief.
[ Laughs ]
I mean Father.
I’ll bet the latter.
Yeah, hats off to the director at CIA for getting a man inside the Vatican.
You’re a bitch.
You’re free to go, too.
I was always free to go.
PATRICE: But not to return.
Go spy on some other quaint little village.
It’s not that quaint.
Could I have a word, Lieutenant?
Maybe even more than one.
A pleasure.
Where do you think you’re going?
I’m leaving with them.
Wouldn’t that be nice?
Philippe Saint-Andre, I am arresting you for the murder of Jean-Pierre Devereaux.
I have no idea what you mean.
Then I will be more clear: I have a witness who saw you murder Jean-Pierre.
Gazala? Where is she?
Not Gazala…
You should have died over there.
They probably would have buried you a hero.
And what’s that worth?
You’ve made a mess of everything since you were a kid.
Let’s go.
Lady Cynthia, off you go.
I assure you, this matter is very far from over.
The queen has my number.
[ Scoffs ]
[ Door slams ]
Madame, would the two of you give us some privacy?
And finally, Mr. Spade.
You have an interesting accent.
What part of Canada are you from exactly?
The South.
I’m guessing somewhere below Niagara Falls.
I would think a man of your experience would not have gotten within 100 miles of such a rat fuck.
Not to mention, turning the whole affair into such a mess.
Philippe made the mess. I just tried to clean it up.
You pick up vomit with a teaspoon, you make a bigger mess.
What a swell metaphor.
I read a lot of E.E. Cummings.
A small constabulary on the ass end of a giant hole is no match for the big guns elsewhere.
One phone call to anyone heavier would have ended the whole thing before it got this far.
A call to who, you?
I don’t know who you are or who you work for, and we both know you’re about as Canadian as sweet potato pie.
And you’re not here saving this kid out of a sudden spasm of altruism.
No one wants another war, Spade.
In Algeria or anywhere else.
Oh, so you’re just snatching him in the name of world peace.
If that helps you, but then, I can’t imagine that a man of your particular origins is all that upset about body count.
I suppose I’ve just never understood that whole thing about diplomacy at the end of a rifle.
You’re really gonna sit there and tell me that you have never had to be your worst in order to do your best?
I make decisions, and I live by them, for better or for worse.
One doesn’t go to bed one person and wake up another just because one says so.
You mean people are simpler than they think?
I had no idea.
I mean people know what they want.
The rest is justification.
Take you, for example… you wanna be left alone.
You live in a quiet little village where the locals know just enough about you to leave you be.
You’ve read my mail.
And yet, sadly, our pasts are portable.
And you find yourself continually drawn in to the lonely, the troubled, and the confused.
Otherwise known as the entire human race.
But I’m not drawn to anybody.
I’m just dubious about everybody.
Common ground, at last.
Henri Thibaut.
What about him?
He’s OAS and he killed a fellow French soldier.
Note the body in your pool.
Henri might have shot him, but it was the Brit that killed him, wherever the hell he is.
And you deduced this how?
From the 303 slug that went through the soldier’s head and into my dogwood.
My condolences on your tree.
I’m sending the bill to MI6.
Still, I would have turned him in to the French Army, but that Sou’che was such a pompous prick.
Will I regret that?
Leave Henri alone.
If he is at all abetting those people and taking another shot at De Gaulle…
He’s just going through a phase.
A phase? Like acne?
He’s a passionate kid that watched the fight come home.
He’s just on the make for a sense of purpose.
Well, get him a dog or get him laid, so he can find a new one.
I have a long flight back.
Back to where?
You might be interested to know, your old office in San Francisco has a new occupant.
You checked out my old office.
Boy, you Canadians are thorough.
It’s a talent agent named Eddie Solomon.
His clientele are all female impersonators.
What happened to the ventriloquist?
Hung himself.
Anyway, word has it.
Eddie’s doing rather well for himself.
He’s leased the entire floor.
The Hunter-Dulin Building was never that expensive to begin with.
I’m just saying…
It’s not our world anymore, Mister Spade.
Which is why I am here.
[ Laughs ] Geez.
What?
That’s the worst fuckin’ French I ever heard. [ Laughs ]
Come along, Zayd.
[ Whistles “Colonel Bogey March” ]
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
♪
How’s George?
Retired.
Oh, and his name’s not George.
No?
No, his name’s Reggie.
What’s yours?
Felicity.
Joy.
Elizabeth.
Calpurnia. Take your pick.
Well, now that that’s all done and dusted, how about we go back to our place for a little drink?
How about you go fuck yourself in the crumpet with a cricket bat?
Suit yourself, but you don’t know what you’re missing.
Toodle-oo, Mr. Spade.
[ Engine idling ]
Will they cut off his head?
More likely they’ll lock him up in a cell, out of sight for a thousand years.
Nobody wants to be reminded of their mistakes.
Hey.
You decided what you’re gonna do with the club?
I haven’t thought past tonight and what I am going to sing.
What have you decided?
I thought I would do a set of my favorite sad songs, see how many customers I can make cry.
No better way to peddle booze than to a bar full of sad souls.
You know, I might stop by and have a little cry right along with them.
Should I hold my breath?
How would you sing?
I need to protect my investment.
I’ll wait, but not long.
She’s very pretty.
You know, Mr. Spade, I’ll be okay, if you don’t want me around.
[ Birds chirping ]
Do me a favor.
Call me Sam.
[ Down-tempo horn music plays ]
♪
[ Door opens ]
Where are you off to?
To play dominoes.
You mean to get drunk with all the other biddies of Bozouls?
I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Do any of you even know how to play dominoes?
Maybe you’ll learn to speak French one day.
We’ll be able to have a real conversation.
What would we talk about?
Your countless flaws!
I think my French is very good.
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
♪
GABRIELLE: Hey, Mr. Spade!
Are you coming in or not?
[ Water splashes ]
♪
[ Woman speaking French ]
♪
[ Singing in French ]
♪
[ Speaking French ]
[ Singing in French ]
♪
[ Speaking French ]
♪
[ Vocalizing ]
♪
[ Speaking French ]
♪
