Original release date: September 29, 2023
* * *
♪ ♪
Ladies and gents, Supes and civvies, rip up the history books, ’cause in New York this morning,
Godolkin University all-star A-Train was just drafted into La Siete.
Which of course makes the speedster the first African American on the world’s premier super team.
And so we’re thrilled to welcome A-Train to The Seven, which proves what we have been saying for a long time:
We live in a post-racism world.
Oh, my gosh. All praise be to God first.
Yeah, I just… I-I just want to remain humble…
First Black man in The Seven.
Hey, girls! Come look at this.
No, thanks, Daddy.
No, thanks, Daddy.
This is history.
[camera clicks]
Don’t smile.
I’m not.
You have to do it like Kendall.
He goes clubbing with Jake Paul and Scott Disick.
I will take whatever I can get.
[laughs]
[Annabeth] Use the 1977 filter.
[Marie] No, I’m using Lord Kelvin. That’s the good one.
A-Train’s the most driven kid I’ve taught since Queen Maeve.
Stop!
[laughing]
That’s the best one! [giggling]
Delete it, Marie!
Delete it.
What’s the matter?
Um… I’ll be r…
I’ll be right back.
Marie. You okay?
Yeah, it’s just a stomachache.
You eat something?
It was probably your tilapia.
Mm-mm.
You…
[chuckles]
…cram it. [laughs]
[chuckling]
And you, let me get you some Pepto.
Mm-mm. Really, it’s fine.
[departing footsteps]
[Homelander doll] I’ll always protect you.
[announcer] Your little hero will…
[creaking]
[sighs]
♪ ♪
[knocking]
[Jackie] Baby girl?
You need help?
Don’t come in!
I’m fine.
[gasping]
Marie! [panting]
[grunts] Marie! Are you…
Mom?!
[stammers] Marie.
Mom?
[weakly] Baby girl.
[shuddering]
[rapid footsteps]
[Malcolm] Jackie?
Jesus, what happened?!
Marie, what happened?
Marie, what the hell happened?!
[shrieking]
[Marie inhales sharply, sighs]
[panting]
♪ ♪
[heart beating rapidly]
[gasps]
[shudders]
[sighs]
[♪ Megan Thee Stallion: “Anxiety”]
♪ I’m a bad bitch and I got bad anxiety ♪
♪ People call me rude ’cause I ain’t lettin’ ’em try me ♪
♪ Sayin’ I’m a ho ’cause I’m in love ♪
♪ With my body, issues, but nobody ♪
♪ I could talk to about it, they keep sayin’ I should get help ♪
♪ But I don’t even know what I need, they keep sayin’ ♪
♪ Speak your truth and at the same time say ♪
♪ They don’t believe, man, excuse me while I get ♪
♪ Into my feelings for a second, usually I keep it down ♪
♪ But today I got to tell it ♪
♪ Not that anybody gives a fuck anyway…
Ever since Starlight left The Seven, I’ve just been inspired to speak my own truth.
I mean, we all have boundaries, right?
♪ And that’s just me bein’ real, yeah ♪
♪ Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, bad bitches ♪
♪ Have bad days, too ♪
♪ Friday, Saturday, Sunday, bounce back ♪
♪ How a bad bitch always do ♪
♪ All I really want to hear is it’ll be okay, bounce back ♪
♪ ‘Cause a bad bitch can have bad days, all I really want ♪
♪ To hear is it’ll be okay, bounce back ♪
♪ ‘Cause a bad bitch can have bad days ♪
♪ Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday ♪
♪ Bad bitches have bad days, too ♪
♪ Friday, Saturday, Sunday, bounce back ♪
♪ How a bad bitch always do ♪
♪ All I really want to hear is it’ll be okay ♪
♪ Bounce back ’cause a bad bitch can have bad days ♪
♪ All I really want to hear is it’ll be okay ♪
♪ Bounce back ’cause a bad bitch can have bad days ♪♪
[vocalizing]
♪ ♪
[grunting]
[panting]
[grunts]
[panting]
[clanging]
[exhales]
[panting]
[grunting, shouting]
Let me go!
[grunts]
Hey!
[grunts]
[gasps]
[breathing heavily]
[zapping]
[groaning]
[rattling]
[door shuts]
[engine revs]
[exhales]
[Homebanger] Guess you should’ve made your wife come, snowflake cuck.
[man] I should just get up and leave.
[pants] But you like watching Homebanger fuck me.
Move, perv.
[sighs]
[clock ticking]
[mouse clicks]
[gasps] Oh, my God!
Sorry.
[Vanessa] Wow. Guess I’m just surprised.
But I can go, right? I mean, it’s a full ride.
And I’m 18.
Congratulations.
Wouldn’t be surprised if you ended up protecting a city one day.
I think you meant to say “first Black woman in The Seven.”
Well, I stand corrected.
[inhales deeply]
Look, Marie, um…
[exhales]
Most kids around here with a history like yours,
they don’t get adopted.
So they get sent to the Vought Adult Facility in Elmira.
Yeah.
I know.
I don’t think you do.
That place, it-it’s not like here.
You would be locked up.
Worse.
But a-a God U graduate?
Um, you could… wipe all that clean and start fresh.
So don’t fuck it up.
Don’t fuck it up.
I’m never coming back.
[gentle music playing]
I’m super focused.
I’m super inclusive.
I’m super curious.
I’m super abled.
What kind of super are you?
I’m Dean Indira Shetty.
Welcome to Godolkin University.
We’ve trained the best and brightest young heroes since 1965.
But more than that, we’re a family.
A community of supportive faculty and peers who will accept you as the unique, culturally rich change agent that you are.
You’ll begin with challenging but meaningful core curriculum such as Hero Ethics and Understanding Branding.
After that, you’ll declare your major.
Perhaps you’ll join the Crimson Countess School
for the Performing Arts.
Alumni include stars from such shows as Riverdale, Pretty Little Liars and So You Think You’ve Got Super Talent?
Or maybe you’ll be accepted into the Lamplighter School of Crimefighting, which has produced every top ten-ranked student for the past 30 years, who have all gone on to protect America’s greatest cities.
Maybe you’ll make the top ten, too.
So whether you want to walk the mean streets or the red carpet, Godolkin is a safe space for you to thrive.
We’re super excited to meet you.
[♪ The Donnas: “Dancing with Myself”]
♪ On the floors of Tokyo ♪
♪ Or down in London town to go, go ♪
♪ With a record selection ♪
♪ And a mirror’s reflection ♪
[whoops]
♪ I’m dancing with myself ♪
♪ When there’s no one else in sight ♪
♪ In the crowded lonely night ♪
♪ Well, I wait so long for my love vibration ♪
♪ And I’m dancing with myself ♪
♪ Oh, oh, dancing with myself ♪
♪ Oh, oh, dancing with myself ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ When there’s nothing to lose ♪
♪ And there’s nothing to prove and I’m dancing with myself ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh-oh ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh…
[young man] Yo!
I’m Maverick, your R.A.
Mandatory consent seminar, common room at 3:00.
Are you pitching a consent seminar with your dick out?
[Maverick] Yes, my dick is out. Common room at 3:00.
[newswoman]…begins today for the trial of Homelander.
[woman] She’s dead. They need to take that…
[man] Autographed Maeve merch is insa…
[bell dinging]
Day one at God U.
So I figured it’s time to test my shit against the toughest motherfucker here.
[squeaking]
That’s my gerbil, David Caruso.
And it’s about to go down!
Welcome to fight night here on Fun Sized with Little Cricket!
Oh, shit. Hang on.
[music stops]
Hey! You must be Marie!
No, down here.
Hi! I’m Emma.
H… Hi.
[♪ Jalen Owusu: “Show You Love”]
♪ Anywhere you want, want, want ♪
♪ I can show you love, love, love, baby ♪
[shudders]
♪ Come and hold me, show me…
[door opens]
[Emma] Here I am.
Hi!
[door closes]
I have been dying to meet you.
[chuckling]
Oh, God, you’re so pretty.
[chuckles]
Thanks.
You want a White Claw?
It’s 9:00 in the morning.
It’s 10:01 somewhere.
[refrigerator door closes]
Are you cool with David Caruso?
He won’t shit in your shit.
I’ve never had a pet.
Oh, really?
Who’s David Caruso?
You didn’t see Jade?
Are you fucking kidding?
Oh. Wow.
So what were you doing?
Uh, my YouTube show.
Fun Sized with Little Cricket?
You haven’t seen it?
Oh. Well, I’m kind of like PewDiePie without the Nazi stuff.
Wait, you don’t know him either?
We only had one computer growing up, and it was donut-glazed from all the 14-year-old boys, so…
Boy.
Oh.
I mean, my brother. Chris.
My parents had to wear hazmat suits just to go in his room.
Well, can’t be worse than my brother. [sucks teeth]
[chuckles]
Or sister.
Or parents.
Hey, how do you open this?
Oh, they don’t open.
Or break.
I guess kids were jumping out and flying off.
Come on. Let’s go.
[door opens]
♪ Mm, mm, mm, mm, yak it to the yak ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Junk in the trunk make you pumps in the bump ♪
♪ Girls want to have fun, make you stickin’ out your tongue ♪
♪ The dance that you doing is dumb ♪
♪ How they do it where you from? ♪
♪ Hey! ♪
♪ Trifling! ♪
♪ Stickin’ out your tongue ♪
♪ Girl, but you know you’re too young ♪
♪ A bunch of girls do it and the shit look fun ♪
♪ That’s how they do it where we from ♪♪
So what are we doing here exactly?
Dude, his workouts are practically the social event of the season.
Whose?
His.
What’s up, Golden Boy?
Holy fucking shit.
You know, when Golden Boy flames on, his clothes burn off.
And he’s uncut.
‘Cause I guess, like, he’s impossible to cut.
I’d burn my tongue on that.
Hey.
Did you get any sleep last night?
Same fucking nightmare.
The one with all the trees?
Yeah.
I don’t know what the fuck it means.
Yeah, I don’t know.
I guess I’m just gonna have to fuck you rotten till it stops.
Oh, did I say I want it to stop?
[♪ Benny the Butcher: “Remember Me”]
♪ I am the greatest…
[Andre] All right!
Tongue in your head.
Head in the game.
Yes, you.
Thank you.
And thank you.
Uh, dude, I am not sweating The Incredible Steve.
Or anyone that has “the” in their name.
[Andre] I hope not. I got ten grand on you.
All right, well, we split it fifty-fifty, huh?
Or else I throw the match.
♪ I said I am the greatest…
Fuck you. Asshole.
[chuckles]
Kick his ass.
Lovable asshole.
♪ I am the greatest ♪
♪ You seen the making of a star, they hear my name ♪
♪ And remember me, remember me ♪
♪ I am the greatest…
[cheering]
Luke…!
[whistles]
[chuckles]
♪ They hear my name and remember me ♪
[chanting] Golden Boy! Golden Boy! Golden Boy!
[grunting]
[cheering]
[crowd] Golden Boy! Golden Boy! Golden Boy!
Golden Boy! Golden Boy!
[grunting]
[cheering]
♪ Next-level…
[grunting]
See what I mean? It’s like a… big, fiery sea cucumber.
♪ I am the greatest, remember me ♪♪
[cheering]
[Luke laughing]
I’m gonna be down there one day.
Jerking off his flaming shar-pei?
Ranked in the top ten.
[screaming]
Number one in the top ten.
Jesus Christ, wh-who wants that kind of pressure?
I do.
[screams]
[gasping]
[cheering]
Yeah. [laughs]
Or you can be like that guy.
[chuckling]
[Steve groaning]
Hey. Look at me.
You did good, all right? Next time.
Thanks, man.
Yeah.
[phone chimes]
Wait, fuck me.
Class schedules are out.
They are?
Mm-hmm.
Can I borrow your phone?
I don’t have one yet.
A phone?
Wait, are you Amish?
Is Black Amish a thing?
[♪ Lil Yamaha: “BOSS¥”]
♪ Ride with me ♪
♪ All my girls, all my girls with me…
What the fuck?
♪ Hey ♪
♪ All my girls bossy ride with me ♪
♪ I’m a savage, all my girls bossy ♪
♪ If they want it, they can have it ♪
♪ I ain’t leaving till I get the baby, ride with me ♪
♪ All my girls, all my girls with me ♪
♪ All my girls bossy ride with me ♪
♪ I’m a savage, all my girls…
Jordan, right?
Jordan Li?
[music stops]
First of all,
you’re awesome.
I mean, wow.
Ranked number two.
Yeah, if you want Professor Brink’s autograph,
you got to buy his book.
Oh.
No, that’s not why I’m…
Uh…
There’s clearly been a mistake.
I-I signed up for Brink’s Freshmen Intro to Crimefighting, but it’s not on my schedule.
What’s your name?
Moreau.
Marie.
[keys clacking]
Marie Moreau.
Oh, yeah, I see the problem.
You were rejected.
Wh-What?
What do you mean?
I-I, like, quadruple-checked the forms.
Yeah, we just don’t have space for everyone.
No, but I have to take… Intro.
Everyone who majors in crimefighting takes Intro.
Look, most freshmen show up, they think they’ll major in crimefighting, crush their combat and forensics classes and score a city contract, but they won’t.
I mean, you’re competing with kids who have cleared homicide cases, who have over a million followers.
And you… [inhales deeply]
you don’t even have an Insta.
Now, I kind of got to get back to this.
Can I talk to Professor Brink about this?
No.
I made the call. I’m his T.A.
Hold on. This was your decision?
Who are you to reject me?
[door opens]
His T.A.
Jordan!
What the fuck?
[Brink] [laughs] Goddamn, that’s the fastest draw I’ve ever seen.
Uh, gonna need to buy me a new shirt, Professor.
[Brink] [chuckles] Oh, hey, sorry, champ.
So, what do we got?
Um…
Ashley Barrett asked you to speak at the Vought retreat in Sun Valley.
Mm, hard pass.
Good Morning America wants to interview you about “how Brink’s technique with super kids can help with your kid.”
Tell ’em to read my book.
[Marie] I’ve read your book.
I’ve read all of your books.
I’ve already handled this, sir.
Sir, she…
I mean, he…
they… rejected me from your Intro class.
But they’re dead wrong.
They don’t know me.
That so?
[Marie] It’s like you always say:
“It’s not about the talent. It’s about the drive.”
Right?
And that’s me.
I could go all the way. I just… I just need the chance.
Performing Arts is a fine program.
You could be on Dancing with the Stars.
[door creaking shut]
[siren wailing in distance]
[young man panting]
[tires screeching]
[panting]
[tires screeching]
[groaning]
[yells]
[screams]
[panting]
What’s going on?!
He’s tweaking on meth. [panting]
He’s on the north lawn.
We need backup.
Stat.
[Marie groans]
[grunts]
[grunts, panting]
[tires screech]
Let’s just… calm down.
[tires screeching]
[grunts]
[grunts]
[yells]
I’m not going back to the fucking Woods!
[warping]
[grunts]
[zapping]
[panting]
Hey.
[guard] I got him!
Hi.
[Marie pants]
Hey, hey, who is that guy?!
[gas hisses]
Shit.
[clacking, whirring]
[grunting]
[creaking]
[lock clicks]
Please don’t-don’t leave me in here.
Please.
Please, please!
[wailing] Plea…!
Godolkin is a safe space for you to thrive.
So then security just dragged the kid off?
So fucking crazy.
And you didn’t film it.
Kind of had other stuff on my mind.
Yeah, but you could’ve got a million likes.
I wish I got attacked.
Oh, come on. They live on our floor.
Hey, performing arts won’t be so bad. Just… try and make friends like a normal human.
[chuckles softly]
So, my guys at Innovative are sending me out for this limited series on Vought Plus.
It’s an elevated superhero thing.
Really a meditation on grief told through 70 years of sitcoms.
And Zach Braff is directing.
We’re friends, so… fingers crossed.
[Marie chuckles]
Damn. My manager only sends me out on broadcast, but…
Sorry, you’re Justine, right?
[chuckles] Yeah.
Okay, so I loved you in Pretty/Deadly and Babysitter School.
Um, so I’m Emma.
That’s-that’s Marie.
That’s so sweet.
Thank you.
And… [sighs]
I’ve seen you in something.
I did do a small reoccurring in Chicago Fire.
Burn victim.
No. Wait.
You’re Little Cricket.
Oh, my God.
You are so funny.
Holy shit. No, that’s right. Um…
[Justine chuckling]
Fun Sized with Little Cricket.
Right?
I’m a huge fan.
Your channel’s the fucking bomb.
Thanks.
Yeah.
And where have I seen you?
Uh, right here.
[chuckles]
Now.
I got to go.
[inhales sharply]
[Emma] I’ll-I’ll see you guys around.
Hey.
What’s wrong?
No offense, but this shit is very, very not me.
Okay, well, this shit is 90% of being a hero.
Marie, only five kids a year score a city contract.
The rest of us… sing and dance and sell merch for Vought.
But we’re superheroes.
That’s really what you want?
I can’t fight bad guys when I’m the size of a pickle, so yeah.
I mean, I’m also hoping for a three-way.
[slurping]
[Brink] You remember when we first met?
Chapter nine of your book.
I had to sit on a folding chair in your folks’ living room ’cause you kept burning holes in the furniture.
[sighs]
Shy little nothing that could barely make eye contact.
You remember what I told you?
You said that I’d be bigger than Homelander.
Did I?
[chuckling]
Hafnium carbide alloy.
Won’t melt no matter how hot you burn.
No more showing your balls to America.
I mean, this thing is low eight figures, easy.
No one’s actually gonna pay for this.
New York already has.
They’re building it as we speak.
Would you rather take Maeve’s old apartment or Starlight’s?
Now, it’s gonna take the lawyers a… couple months to paper the deal, but you, my boy, are going to The Seven.
No draft, no nothin’.
It’s done.
We did it.
[chuckles softly]
Huh? [laughs]
[boy] [echoing] Luke.
[inhales deeply] You okay?
Yeah.
I’m great.
[indistinct chatter]
You lost?
I got it.
Thanks.
Those were some sweet moves last night. [whooshing sound]
I was coming up with your superhero name.
You want to hear it?
Bloody Marie.
That’s terrible.
Yeah, it is.
[laughing, sniffles]
Well, um… that skinny kid, did you… You seen him before?
The way they dragged him off was just fucked, right?
He was out of control.
Okay, Coagula.
[chuckles]
Even worse.
I’ll k… I’ll keep workshopping.
I’ll show you what I come up with?
Tonight?
A few of us are going on a… field trip.
Off campus.
Golden Boy, myself, a few others. You should come.
[stammers] Uh, me?
Yeah.
Out with you guys?
I mean, that’s how socializing works, right?
We’d be breaking curfew.
If we get caught.
We’re not gonna get caught.
Thanks…
for the invite, uh, but no.
I can’t afford the trouble.
[clicks tongue] Well…
Crimefighting Building at 10:00 if you change your mind.
[Emma] Okay, this is me changing your fucking mind right now.
You have a chance to go party with Golden Boy and you aren’t sure?
Are you insane?
I think he has a girlfriend, right?
Yes, and she’s hot!
Oh, my God! You’re gonna have a three-way.
You are literally living my dream.
Then you go.
I wasn’t invited.
Marie, this is a huge opportunity for you.
And, much more importantly, for me.
Because if you get in good with those guys, that means I will.
Emma.
You don’t understand the world-ending trouble I’ll be in
if I’m busted.
My dad is… really strict.
The point is, I can’t fuck up.
I’m gonna be jerking off about this the whole night, so if you don’t go, just be prepared for that experience.
And I’m loud as fuck.
I don’t… have anything to wear.
Please borrow whatever you want from my closet.
[hangers rattling]
[gasps] Okay.
So…
You need to load up your legs with lube to get into these.
I’ll help you get out of them tonight.
How am I supposed to pee?
Oh, you don’t.
Like, literally never.
♪ ♪
Oh! Told you.
This is Marie.
She’s the one that I was telling you guys about.
Hey. I’m Luke.
Uh, this is Cate.
[Marie] I know who you are.
[laughs] I know every…
Nice to meet you.
Uh, that’s Jordan.
Yeah, we’ve met.
You gonna reject me from this outing, too?
[Jordan] I’d love to.
No, play nice or I will not share my drugs with you.
[laughs]
Uh, come on. We’ll take my car.
[phone chimes]
[keys clacking]
♪ Hey, I’m just, I’m just solo flyin’ ♪
♪ It’s a bird, you a dodo ♪
♪ Bird, you a dodo…
[sniffs]
[chuckling softly]
[groans] Oh!
Uh-huh.
[Jordan] Oy. [laughs]
[Andre] Fucking drip, baby. [sniffs]
♪ Like a yo-yo, they in their feelings, I’m-a turn it up…
[groans] Shit. One more.
[sniffing]
♪ On the dash, might be moving through the trash…
[chatter in distance]
You want some?
Um… no, thank you.
All right.
I can’t believe I’m at Seven Tower.
Let me guess.
You were six years old in a Maeve costume, just dreaming about making The Seven.
Now I do.
But no.
[inhales deeply]
I didn’t even know I had powers until I was 12.
Really?
My parents gave me V as a baby.
But it didn’t hit till puberty.
Oh, they must’ve been excited.
Thrilled.
It’s still the only thing my dad talks about.
Brags about it to all the guys at his pickup games.
[chuckles softly]
I’m sorry. Uh…
I’m lying.
M-My parents died.
I don’t know why I do that.
My brother passed away, too.
I’m sorry.
That’s, uh, why I’m here.
At this school.
For my sister.
I want to… prove to her that I’m not…
Can I give you some advice?
That you’re not at all asking for? [chuckles]
Please.
[clears throat]
Being a hero is, uh…
It’s not what you think.
You know, if you’re gonna do this, make sure you do it for you.
[door closes]
[Emma moans]
[panting]
Oh, I can’t believe it.
Little Cricket.
[laughs, panting]
I used to jerk off to you when I was 14.
That’s… sweet.
Mm. [grunts] Oh.
[panting, laughing]
[moans]
[panting]
Hey, can we try something?
[pants]
Yeah.
I don’t want you to think I’m weird.
You’re not weird.
Would you, uh…
[pants]
…get little? [exhales]
Well, that wouldn’t really work, ’cause, like…
…anatomy.
[both laugh]
Yeah, obviously not that.
Well, you know, it’s not so easy for me to get little.
Hey, but what we’re doing now is great, right?
[exhales]
You…
…sexy and small…
…hanging off my cock.
You’d be so fucking hot.
[chuckles]
Please?
Awesome.
Wait here. I’ll just take a minute.
[pants]
Sorry.
I just need a…
…shirt.
I’ll just be a minute.
[creaking]
[door creaks]
[stall locks]
[sighs]
♪ ♪
[retching]
[coughing]
[panting]
[grunts]
[sighs]
[breathing heavily]
[retches]
♪ It’s Sam and Madonna ♪
♪ Look like I’m dressed to kill ♪
♪ Love how I make me feel ♪
♪ All black in stripper heels, move ♪
♪ Like Madonna…
[maître d’] Good evening.
Reservation under?
We don’t have one.
♪ You know you’re beautiful…
But you don’t give a fuck. Right?
I do not give a fuck.
Follow me.
♪ I’m sexy, I’m free ♪
♪ And I feel… ♪
♪ Uh ♪
♪ Vulgar ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Vulgar…
[laughing]
You guys in?
Is that cocaine?
We finished all the coke. It’s Molly.
[Luke] Hey, I don’t really fuck with powders, but I do microdose shrooms.
[Jordan] So, what do you say, freshman?
Um… no, thank you.
You know, I could take my glove off and make you.
I won’t, ’cause I’m all about consent.
But I could. So…
you should. [chuckles]
♪ Vulgar ♪
[chuckles]
♪ Vulgar ♪
♪ Vulgar ♪
Uh-huh.
♪ Vulgar ♪
♪ Vulgar ♪
[Andre laughs]
Aw. Yes!
[laughs] Yes!
Now let’s dance! [giggles]
What?
Come on.
I told you.
♪ We’ll just go harder…
Yeah. She’s cool.
Fuck.
Oh, fuck, that’s so great.
[inhales sharply] Squeeze a little harder.
Oh!
[Emma] How’s that?
[sighs] That’s great.
Now try kicking my balls.
[Emma] Okay.
[slaps]
[groans]
Is this the biggest dick you’ve ever seen?
[pants]
[Emma] I mean, yeah, relatively.
Can you say it?
[Emma] Yeah, dude, it’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen.
[moans]
Fuck.
[groans, laughs]
That was… really good.
[slaps]
Oh!
[♪ JTM: “BRB”]
[Luke] There she is.
[Andre] You changed.
Why?
‘Cause I fucking felt like it.
Also, free drinks.
True. Cheers.
[glasses clink]
To The Seven.
Fucking Seven.
Quiet down.
I just told you.
Mm-mm.
[chuckles] Oh.
[Andre] You got to invite me to the Tower.
‘Cause I crush hard on A-Train.
A speedster in bed?
Making a mental note right now to never invite you.
Mm. It is the least surprising surprise ever, but… congrats.
When do you start?
Uh, you mean, when do I leave so you can finally be ranked number one?
Please. That’d be great, but trustees think I’m too confusing.
No way I’ll be number one.
[Andre] The trustees put you in the orientation video.
Yeah, so they could suck their own dicks about how progressive they are.
Mm.
Okay, well, Brink does carry a lot of weight with them, and he loves you.
I mean, you’re like his, um, favorite son/daughter.
I think you got a shot.
[sucks air through teeth]
It’ll be Andre.
As much as that pisses me off.
Uh, that-that responsibility and having to work with my dad?
Fuck that.
That’s all you. I will cheer you on as I continue to suck and fuck my little heart out.
But you, you worked your fucking ass off for this.
And I’m proud of you.
I love you, man.
♪ Like shadows, my past is behind me ♪
♪ Focus on the future, doctor, hear me…
Love you.
♪ Keep on going ♪
♪ Till you hit the spot, whoa ♪
♪ I’m a big bag hunter with the bow ♪
♪ She got a big bad dumper, drop it low ♪
♪ Mama called me and she happy with the growth ♪
♪ Never ever fold for a thottie, that’s an oath ♪
♪ Just popped her kidney…
Oh, shit.
Someone’s rolling.
I think.
Yeah.
Definitely.
♪ I got all the eyes on me, got a bad baby ♪
♪ And she’s independent, too many people older than me ♪
♪ That’s seeking attention, when they warned me ♪
♪ ‘Bout the goofies, man, I should’ve listened ♪
♪ And the smell of the money, my strangest addiction, uh ♪
♪ She tip for dick, I let her lick ♪
♪ I had to dip, I’m off of Fifth, am I rich now? ♪
♪ I bought a whip, I paint it pink ♪
♪ It drive itself, the fuck you think? Yeah, I’m rich now ♪
[muffled] ♪ ‘Ey, little mama, yeah, you heard about me…
[music distorting]
[echoing] Luke.
Please help me.
♪ I’m always at the guala, yeah, and you are not ♪
♪ Badass B, keep on going till you hit the spot ♪
♪ Whoa, I’m a big bag hunter with the bow ♪
♪ She got a big bad dumper, drop it low ♪♪
[♪ D’Auria: “Body Talk”]
♪ Nothing’s stopping us, body talk ♪
♪ Body talk ♪
♪ Make your move and let your body talk ♪
♪ Body talk ♪
♪ No, no, no stopping us, oh…
How are you alone right now?
I mean, I can’t be the first guy to hit on you tonight.
Statistically speaking, that seems impossible.
I’m waiting for my boyfriend.
Fair enough.
Uh, how about
heads, I stay,
tails, I leave?
♪ Lead me step by step ♪
♪ Lead me step by step…
[Andre chuckles]
You’re a Supe.
Or I’m just a very good magician.
But “Supe” sounds sexier. Let’s go with that one.
♪ Body talk, body talk…
That all the bird can do?
♪ Your body talks, body talks…
You see Old Balls right there?
♪ Body talk, body talk…
If I can get this little birdie into his cup, will you agree to, at best, go home with me…
[chuckles softly]
…and, at worst, we hit the dance floor and have a good time?
♪ Body talks, no nothing’s stopping us ♪
♪ Body talk, body talk ♪
♪ Make your move and let your body talk ♪
♪ Body talk, no, no, no stopping us ♪
♪ Oh…
[screaming]
[screaming, shouting]
[music stops]
[gasping]
Oh, my God. What the hell happened?
[yells]
Uh, I think I hit an artery, dude!
Aw, fuck! Some fuck bumped into me!
I think she’s gonna die, man. She’s bleeding out.
We need to call 911!
They won’t get here in time.
We need to go. We need to get the fuck out of here.
We need to get the fuck out of here now.
We need to get the fuck out of here now.
Come on.
[man] She’s fucking bleeding out, bro.
[shouting]
[woman] Why don’t you help her?!
[heart beating slowly]
[panting]
[heartbeat slowing]
[exhales]
[breathing heavily]
♪ ♪
[heartbeat quickening]
[heart beating normally]
[camera shutter sound effects]
[exhales] She’s alive.
[shudders]
[shutter clicks]
[exhales sharply]
She’s alive. [inhales deeply]
[breathing heavily]
[clamoring]
[man] Wow!
[woman] You saved her.
[clamoring]
[man 2] You saved her!
You saved her!
[man 3] Are you a Supe?
[man 4] What is this? This is insane.
[female voice] Last night at Skyscraper Club, this lady fell bleeding.
This woman appears. She saved the girl’s life.
Okay, sure, you’re the hero, but I’m the one who made you go, so in a very real way, I’m the hero.
Sorry for all the…
blood on your clothes.
Oh, God, worth it. [grunts]
Wait, so what did Golden Boy smell like?
Like cookies, right?
[chuckles]
Like cookies and hope?
[laughing]
[knocking]
[creaking]
Marie, right?
Professor Brink’s office called.
He wants to see you.
You mean now?
And… just me?
I don’t know.
Also, I’m not your assistant.
Get a fucking phone.
[door closes]
Dude! He’s seen Instagram.
You’re in his class for sure.
…who will accept you as the unique, culturally rich change agent that you are.
Ah, Marie Moreau.
You saved that girl’s life.
Good for you.
Thank you, sir.
You know, kid, I’ve dedicated my life to studying superheroes.
Three masters, countless hours of research.
I think it’s safe to say that I know more about Supes than just about any soul alive.
And they are something.
But there’s one fella that’s got ’em all beat.
Fred McCallister of Scarborough, U.K.
Sir?
Who’s that?
Just a guy.
Some powerless schmuck. [chuckles]
See, his old dog Arnold jumped into the ocean, and he started to go under.
So, Fred, he hopped into the drink and he managed to save his old mutt, but he drowned in the process.
And, see, that is what most superheroes, even the big ones, they just don’t get.
That being a hero, a real hero, is not about glory.
It’s about sacrifice.
You understand that?
I think so, sir.
Good.
[chuckles softly] Good.
[inhales deeply] ‘Cause…
And I can’t tell you how sorry I am to tell you this, but… you’re being expelled.
What?
See, Golden Boy, Andre, Jordan, they’re going all the way.
They could save thousands of people.
But not if TMZ finds out that they almost let a woman bleed to death because they were high.
Somebody’s got to take that hit.
You get that.
Look, you saved that woman.
But, you know, you kind of slit her throat accidentally first.
And that’s grounds for removal.
Wait. Just… wait.
I-I didn’t. I…
You… you can’t kick me out.
Oh, I’m so sorry. I really am.
I… And I like you, for what it’s worth.
No, you don’t understand.
I can’t go back.
They’re gonna send me to this adult facility that…
Oh, you’re a resourceful girl.
You’ll figure something out.
Honestly,
I think you’re wasting your time here at G.U.
Those blood powers of yours, they’re a nonstarter in Middle America.
There’s no four-quadrant appeal there.
You’re wrong.
Look, honey, you get to save your friends.
Just like that guy in the U.K. [chuckles softly]
I mean, that is more hero than most Supes ever manage.
And that’s something.
What if I say no?
[exhales]
Well…
you’re an orphan who murdered her parents, kiddo.
I’m afraid you don’t got much choice.
[breathing heavily]
[indistinct chatter]
[Emma] What’d he say?
Why did you make me go out?
[breathing heavily]
I knew I shouldn’t have gone.
Whoa, what happened?
I didn’t ask for this. For you.
Just leave me alone.
[boy] [echoing] Luke.
[sniffs]
[groaning]
[sighs]
[boy] [echoing] Luke, where are you?
[soft creaking]
[shudders]
Luke.
[Luke] Sam?
[echoing] Luke, it’s not a dream.
It’s real.
[shuddering]
[echoing] Luke.
[whispers] Please help me.
[rumbling]
[breathing heavily]
[shudders]
[sighs, cries]
[shuddering, crying]
[shudders]
[exhales sharply]
[Annabeth shudders]
You killed them. [shudders]
[sniffles]
[exhales]
[Marie] Annabeth, please.
[shuddering]
No, stay away from me.
[shuddering]
You’re a monster. [inhales sharply]
[inhales deeply]
[breathing heavily]
[gasps]
[knife clicks shut]
♪ ♪
[shudders]
[sniffles]
[grunts]
[inhales sharply]
[yells]
[sobs]
[sniffles]
[breathing heavily]
I’m not a monster.
[breathing heavily]
[Jordan] Hey, man.
How you feel? ‘Cause I’m sweating cocaine.
Hey.
Do you know?
What Brink’s doing to protect you?
What are you talking about?
[Brink groaning]
[gasping]
Oh, shit.
Marie, I… [shudders]
I had to.
I-I didn’t see anything.
You don’t understand what Brink did, okay?
You don’t know about The Woods.
What?
Okay, please, he-he fell asleep with a Camel lit in his mouth and he burned himself.
Yeah.
For sure.
Our secret.
[shuddering]
[shudders] Why did you have to come, Marie?
[panting]
Run!
[Jordan] Hey, what the fuck?
[Luke] Marie!
[panting]
Uh, Luke, what’s, uh…
What’s going on? Maybe…
Maybe put your dick away?
Move.
Not until you chill out.
You’re in on it, too.
Luke, what the fuck is going on?
Move!
Go! Now!
Go!
[grunting]
[grunting]
[groans]
[grunting]
[breathing heavily]
[grunting]
[grunts]
[yells]
[groans]
[Jordan] Luke.
[grunting]
[panting]
Luke, it’s gonna be okay.
Calm down.
[grunts]
[Jordan transforms]
[grunting]
[yells]
[panting]
[grunts]
[sputters]
[groaning]
[Andre] Can we do this later? I’m still drunk from last night.
No, it’s perfect. Just-just take a sip, say, “Turbo Rush cures hangovers.”
I wouldn’t pour this on my dick if it cured cancer.
Marie?
[door closes]
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hey, stop! What?
[panting]
[loud crashing]
[glass shattering]
[Marie] He killed Brink!
The fuck? No, bullshit!
He fucking killed him!
Luke?
Hey, hey, take it easy.
Just-just-just take it easy.
Okay?
Hey, no, no.
Fuck everyone else. It’s just me and you.
You know I love you.
It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.
Hey.
No!
[Luke shuddering]
[murmuring]
I’m sorry.
It’s okay.
[shudders]
It’s okay.
[cries] I love you.
I love you, too.
I’m so sorry.
It’s okay. It’s okay.
[speaks indistinctly]
Okay?
[pants]
[Andre] Luke, come on.
I’m so sorry.
♪ ♪
What?
[gasping, shouting]
[breathing heavily]
[♪ Hole: “Celebrity Skin”]
♪ Oh, make me over ♪
♪ I’m all I wanna be ♪
♪ A walking stu… ♪♪
♪ ♪
Good evening, students and patriots.
Let me personally assure you that the terrible news coming out of Godolkin University this evening
is in no way reflective of the institution as a whole.
Golden Boy’s death was an isolated incident involving a chronic drug user suffering a full psychotic break.
Remember that Vought News has selected Godolkin as the Safest Campus in America seven years running, and the faculty prides itself on creating a safe space for every hero to thrive.
Despite tonight’s incident, here’s a look at what students can expect from this esteemed institution in this upcoming semester.
If you’re watching this, guess things got fucked.
I’m sorry.
[indistinct chatter]
[Shetty] You could be the first top-ranked freshman in history.
For what?
For fighting Golden Boy.
#BlackGirlMagic.
♪ ♪
You guys are heroes.
Currently, we’re testing “the Guardians of Godolkin.” Even when I’m saying it now, it feels like it’s too many syllables, so we’ll see.
What about Jordan Li?
[Ashley] We lead with Andre and this Marie chick.
Figure out the rest later. Is The Woods part of what happened?
[Andre] But I found something.
Don’t say another fucking word about this.
[whirring]
[Andre] Remember, no tiny action hero shit.
Got it.
Get it, got it, good.
Sweet Jesus.
[Cate] I don’t know why Luke did it.
We are in over our heads.
♪ ♪
[elevator chimes]
In the real world, everybody uses everyone.
[Marie] This is fucking crazy.
Totes.
[grunts]
[screams]
[man] It’s just a matter of time before they find out about everything you’re doing.
We have to stop ’em.
I did rip a person in half.
[screaming]
In my defense, he was a puppet at the time, so…
[♪ Hole: “Celebrity Skin”]
♪ In demonology ♪
♪ Hey, so glad you could make it ♪
♪ Yeah, now you’ve really made it ♪
♪ Hey, so glad you could make it now ♪
♪ Oh, look at my face ♪
♪ My name is Might Have Been ♪
♪ My name is Never Was ♪
♪ My name’s forgotten ♪
♪ Hey, so glad you could make it ♪
♪ Yeah, now you’ve really made it ♪
♪ Hey, there’s only us left now ♪
♪ When I wake up in my makeup ♪
♪ It’s too early for that dress ♪
♪ Wilted and faded somewhere in Hollywood ♪
♪ I’m glad I came here with your pound of flesh ♪
♪ No second billing ’cause you’re a star now ♪
♪ Oh, Cinderella, they aren’t sluts like you ♪
♪ Beautiful garbage, beautiful dresses ♪
♪ Can you stand up or will you just fall down? ♪
♪ You better watch out ♪
♪ Oh, what you wish for ♪
♪ It better be worth it ♪
♪ So much to die for ♪
♪ Hey, so glad you could make it ♪
♪ Yeah, now you’ve really made it ♪
♪ Hey, there’s only us left now ♪
♪ When I wake up in my makeup ♪
♪ Have you ever felt so used up as this? ♪
♪ It’s all so sugarless, hooker/waitress ♪
♪ Model/actress, oh, just go nameless ♪♪
