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Home (2015) | Transcript

An alien on the run from his own people makes friends with a girl. He tries to help her on her quest, but can be an interference.
Home (2015)

Home (2015)
Director: Tim Johnson
Stars: Jim Parsons, Rihanna, Steve Martin, Jennifer Lopez, April Lawrence, Stephen Kearin, Brian Stepanek, Lisa Stewart, April Winchell

Plot: When Earth is taken over by the overly-confident Boov, an alien race in search of a new place to call home, all humans are promptly relocated, while all Boov get busy reorganizing the planet. But when one resourceful girl, Tip (Rihanna), manages to avoid capture, she finds herself the accidental accomplice of a banished Boov named Oh (Jim Parsons). The two fugitives realize there’s a lot more at stake than intergalactic relations as they embark on the road trip of a lifetime.

* * *

OH: Today is best day ever.

Moving Day!

For who?

Answer: The Boov.

Who are the Boov?

Answer: Best species ever at running away.

FEMALE ANNOUNCER ON SPEAKERS: All Boov settlers, please report to your assigned transport.

You are allowed one carry-on.

Excusing me. Sorries.

Excusing me. Pardon the me, friend.

Boov do not friend.

Owpain! Uh-oh. Sorries.

Who am I? I am Oh.

I has been given this name by my many, many friends.

Good morning! Oh.

Hi, guys.

BOTH: Oh.

Hello.

ALL: Oh.

I am very excitement to make a new fresh start!

We are all moving to best planet ever for to hiding.

Our new home!

Whoa!

(GASPS) Captain Smek!

My fellow Boov!

I has saved us again.

Ow!

A bit lower.

No, stop!

Up a bit. Up a bit.

Perfect. Walk away. Walk away.

My fellow…

My…

fellow…

Boov.

Good news! (GASPS)

Thanks to my leadership skills… cowering, running and pulling a skedaddle… we are safe from our enemy… the Gorg.

(ALL CHEERING)

Ooh. Nasty.

Whoa!

Give Daddy some sugar!

Captain Smek has saved us again!

We are now arrived at the best hiding place yet in the Milky Way.

And the Gorg are lactose intolerant.

(LAUGHS) Genius!

They will never find us here.

ALL: Yay! Thank you!

Best of yet… this planet is full of great stuff.

Look at these delicious fruits!

That makes me feel so good.

What fun at a party!

Boov do not party.

Also, this planet is inhabited.

But do not worry.

The native savages are simple and backwards.

(GURGLING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

Oh!

They are so ugly, they are cute!

Everything you need to know about them can be found… in these comprehensive pamphlets.

INFORMATION BOOV: Comprehensive pamphlet.

Comprehensive pamphlet.

They are lucky the Boov have come.

CAPTAIN SMEK: All right, Boov.

Invade on three.

One, two, three.

(POP MUSIC PLAYING)

Rejoice, humanspeople! The Boov are arrived!

Now we are turning off your gravity temporarily…

so as to make your mandatory relocation easier.

And more fun! Huh?

So, what is up?

You are! (LAUGHS)

Hey! Wow!

(SINGING)

(ALL SCREAM)

Ha! You’ll never catch me!

Whoa!

CAPTAIN SMEK: Enjoy you the frozen,

sweetened bovine secretion…

as we take this short flight to Happy Humanstown.

Wow!

This is so cool! Come on!

OH: Fa-da!

Humanspersons are happiness and joy forever

in Happy Humanstown.

Welcome to your new home.

Wait, what? No! New home?

OH: And rest of planet is for Boov.

Win-win!

Welcome, Boov settlers.

All humans have been relocated.

Your homes are now ready.

Thanking you!

(GASPS) Oh!

This planet may be a bit of a fixing-it-upper…

but that is okay.

Boov are best at deciding what is useful.

And what is not.

(GROANS)

Ooh! BOOV: Owpain.

Step aside. Clean-up crew.

ELECTRONIC VOICE: Useless.

Ooh!

(BELL RINGS)

OH: Today, I starts a new life.

With new friends. In a new home.

(CHEERING)

ANNOUNCER ON SPEAKERS: Residents may now enter

sector 179.

That is me!

OH: And that is why today is best day ever!

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

Oh! (EXCLAIMING)

Welcome home, neighbors!

Boov do not have “neighbors.”

Oh, that is owing to the size

and topography of our former planet.

Hey! Can I borrowing a cup of sugar? (ECHOING)

(SHOUTING) What?

But now, our closer proximity can leads to friendship.

You are all invited…

to my warming of house party.

(ALL GROAN)

Say, 5:00?

Sure.

Yes!

(BLOWS)

(OVEN TIMER DINGS) (BLOWING)

(SIGHS)

(MEOWS)

(GIRLS LAUGHING)

LUCY: Hey, Pig! Be careful up there!

TIP: I’m sorry, Pig.

Mom’s not here.

It’s just a video.

TIP: Hey, Mom. I think Pig

wants to join us. (LAUGHS)

LUCY: It’s not funny!

Tip! (YELPS)

(TIP LAUGHING) Come on, Mom. It’s just snow.

LUCY: I don’t know anything about snow. Oh!

We’re from Barbados! We don’t have snow!

TIP: Whoa! (LAUGHING)

Are you okay?

TIP: I’m sending this to everyone.

(TIP CONTINUES LAUGHING) (RUMBLING)

(GASPS)

FEMALE ANNOUNCER ON SPEAKERS: Sector 195

is ready for occupation.

We can’t wait for Mom, Pig. We gotta go.

Right now!

(DOORKNOB RATTLING) (GASPS)

Oh, no!

Huh?

(CAMERA CLICKING) (GASPS)

FEMALE VOICE: Prepare for your dance attack!

(MUSIC PLAYING) (GASPS)

Oh!

(EXCLAIMS)

(LAUGHS)

Okay, let’s go find Mom.

(MEOWS)

(SIGHS)

(GASPS) (GROANS)

(SHUSHING)

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

(BOTH MUTTERING QUIETLY) Huh?

OH: Neighbors, hello!

Please come in and…

Hello.

Hello?

(SIGHS)

(WHIMPERS)

And right. And left. Other left.

Kyle!

KYLE: Right. No, left.

Hello, friend Kyle.

Oh!

I am not your friend.

Of course you are.

We have had many enjoyable talks.

No, we talk only because I’m not allowed to move.

(CHUCKLES) You are always saying the funny things.

Perhaps you can say them

at my warming of house party tonight.

I will not. Parties are useless

and take up valuable Boov time.

Since you are at your busyness,

I shall send an e-vite to you…

so you can join later during your leisure minute.

Please do not send. I enjoy my leisure minute.

Fa-da!

I have sent directions to my living space.

Oh… Fa-da! I have sent

directions to my living space.

(MESSAGE PLAYING ON ALL DEVICES)

(GASPS) You sent directions to everyone?

What? Um, it is not my fault.

Why for put “send” button right next to “send all”?

This is just bad design.

Your invite has been sent to entire galaxy!

Uh-oh.

“Uh-oh” is right!

Our enemy, the Gorg, will receive it…

and can use directions for to find us!

ALL: The Gorg?

(ALARM BLARING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

OH: Fa-da!

You have doomed our species!

OH: No, please.

I did not mean to. I am sorries!

You are arresting!

No!

I was just trying to invite you to my…

(YELPS)

KYLE: Security has been compromised.

Arrest that Boov!

Autopilot, I needs help!

AUTOPILOT: Help is available in Paris

at Boov Headquarters.

No, Autopilot! Any place but Paris!

You must takes me to a place with no Boovs.

AUTOPILOT: The only remaining spot on planet

with no Boov is Antarctica.

Group hug!

Oh!

Yes! Antarctica is perfect! Take me there now!

AUTOPILOT: I am sorry. You are fugitive Boov.

Initiating Self-Destruct.

No! Do not initiate!

I am not a fugitive! (SCREAMING)

Whoa!

No!

(SCREAMING)

(GASPS)

(GRUNTS)

(GASPS)

Oh, no.

(BOTH PANTING)

(CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING)

(SIGHS)

(RUMBLING)

(BOTH BURP)

(BOTH SCREAMING)

Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha!

What for are you did this?

I am Boov, beloved by all humans.

I know what you are.

Excellent! Can I come into the out now?

No, you cannot “come into the out” now.

You can never come into the out, ever again!

But I can!

You are just having to take away the piece of wood.

(SIGHS)

Then I will have to…

I will shoot forth the lasers from my eyeballs!

You can do that?

Yes.

If you shoot your eye lasers, then I’ll have no choice…

but to explode your head!

You humans cannot to explode…

We can too!

We just don’t much.

It’s considered rude.

Then I am granting you a truce.

You are not to exploding heads…

and I will not do my devastating eye lasers.

(PURRING) (SCREAMS)

Okay. Truce.

So, can I come into the out now?

No!

This is what you get for stealing planets

and abducting people.

Oh, you are thinking a mistake.

Boov do not steal and abduct.

No, Boov liberate and befriend.

Guess who made this one!

This is so beautiful!

Whoa! (YELPS)

Mom! What’s happening? (MEOWING)

I don’t know, honey.

Tip!

It will be okay.

ELECTRONIC VOICE: Lifeform detected.

Not human. Move along.

CAPTAIN SMEK: Enjoy you the frozen,

sweetened bovine secretion…

as we take this short flight to Happy Humanstown.

Mom!

It’s all your fault.

You stole my mom!

Smell ya later, Boov.

Wait! Smell me now!

I can to fixing your car. I seen you has broken it.

I didn’t break it. I’m a very good driver.

It’s supposed to leak like that.

(ENGINE STALLING)

(CAR DOOR CLOSING)

(DOOR BEEPING)

Can I come into the out now?

I know the fugitive Boov

has made yet another in a series of horrible…

yet unintentionally humorous mistakes.

But let me reassure you, the signal he broadcast…

is being handled.

We are definitely not doomed.

And we’re out.

We are doomed!

The Gorg are going to find us again!

The maniac Boov has ruined everything.

This is bad.

And I really love this planet.

Look at all the great stuff they’ve got.

Like this! A headband!

And for evening wear, you slide it down…

you got a beautiful spare tire.

I love it!

Ooh! Very nice!

Who would wanna leave this behind?

I have got to fix this.

(GASPS) I know!

Summon the Big Brain Boovs.

The smarty-pants of all smarty panty Booviness.

Gentleboov…

I want ideas.

ALL: Mmm…

We could create an alternate reality

with no Gorg in it…

then go live there.

Yes! I love it!

How long would that take?

Oh, based on our current technology…

1.7 million years.

That’s a lot of years, Toni. Moving on!

We could lay on the ground… Yes!

And make the Gorg think we are dead.

Next! MALE BOOV: Ooh, ooh, ooh!

What if we logged into the fugitive Boov’s email…

and cancelled his e-vite…

Shush! Or we could log into the fugitive Boov’s email…

and cancel his invitation, and…

What was that?

So the Gorg never receive it.

So the Gorg never receive it!

Now, type in the password and cancel that message.

It was a good idea of me

to make all passwords “password.”

It’s so easy to remember.

(ALL GASP) It did not work!

His password is unique.

(ALL GASPING) No!

Unique? Boov are not unique!

(CRYING)

Fetch me my inhaler.

(INHALES)

Boy, that works.

His mistaking is leading the Gorg right to us.

Show me his invite.

You are all invited to a party!

Just head to the Milky Way.

Turn right at the Big Dipper.

Third planet from the Sun.

Look for my balloons! Party!

Come if you like to have fun!

My best friend Kyle will be there!

Kyle, Kyle, Kyle!

Come party!

Kyle!

He is not my friend.

The internet does not lie!

You know him, you can find him.

I am putting you in charge!

But, Captain, it is not my job.

I am only a mid-level traffic Boov.

I admire your cowardice, Officer.

Thank you.

But I want every Boovcop

on Planet Smekland searching this city.

We need his password…

or we will all be destroyed by the Gorg!

Find him!

That Boov has made his final mistake.

Fa-da!

Oh! You were supposed to fix it!

What is this?

I calls it “Slushious.”

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

(GASPS)

“Slushious”?

It makes excellent fuel…

and comes in fun-to-say flavors.

“Grape Escape.”

“Tangerine Twist.”

“Busta Lime”! (LAUGHS)

Mom’s gonna kill me.

Now I am prepared to accept one of your traditional

gestures of human gratitude.

Actually, our tradition is to punch you

in the nose. Hold still.

No! Your gratitude is implied.

(GASPS)

OH: You can drives first.

Then I can… Oh. (HANDLE RATTLES)

TIP: You’re not coming.

I’m trying to hide from the Boov.

I’m not bringing one with me.

You’ll just turn me in.

No! I just needs a ride!

I haves official Boov business out of in town.

Me, too.

(YELPS) But I fixes your car!

So? I let you out of the freezer. We’re even.

Ooh, oh! Whoa!

(GRUNTING)

What did you do to my car?

What doos you mean?

It should to hover much better now.

It’s a car. It didn’t hover at all before.

How do you stop this thing?

(YELPS)

(GRUNTS)

Oops. I have apparently reversing

the proceed and anti-proceed controls.

Yeah, I noticed. Stop is go.

Go is stop. Wait!

Whyfor you do this? Boovs and humans are friends!

We’re not friends. You kidnapped my mom!

Who is Mimom?

No, “my” mom!

What did I say? (GROANS)

(LAUGHS) Ahh!

I knows how to find her. How?

That information is at Boov Central Command.

At the Great Antenna. What?

In Paris! Now let me to inside!

Paris. Hmm.

Then promise. What?

Promise you’ll help me find her

or I’m leaving your Boov butt.

I promise! But if you do not wish

to be capturing, it must be now!

Fine. Get in.

(SCREAMS)

(SIGHS)

Oui, oui, Pig!

Paris, here we come. (GROANS)

We’re gonna find out where they put Mom.

Okay. I shall set the GPS

to take us straight to the Paris.

ELECTRONIC VOICE: Destination entered: Antarctica.

Hey, what are you doing?

Oh, how did that happen?

Keep your Boov paws off my car!

Whoa!

(GASPS)

Your vehicle is infested.

(LAUGHS) It’s not infested. He’s my pet.

His name is Pig. Don’t touch him.

Now he is vibrating.

(GASPS) Is he going to explode?

No! He’s just purring.

Why do you haves this thing?

Is it useful?

Does it give meat or milk?

What? Ew! No!

You just have pets for fun and companionship.

You has me for companion on the ship.

Yeah, well, Pig is better.

If cat is “Pig,” what is your name?

(SIGHS)

Gratuity Tucci. But my friends call me “Tip.”

Tip.

I said “my friends.”

But we are friends. All humans and Boov.

Captain Smek has decided.

Captain Smek is an idiot.

(GASPS) Untrue!

Captain Smek is genius and best at running away.

Have you not heard the legend of the Shusher?

Long ago, our enemy, the Gorg…

invited the Boov to a peace meeting.

(SCREAMING)

OH: But Smek wisely fled in terror.

And he took a great trophy: the Shusher.

Run away!

(ROARING)

TIP: Why is it called the “Shusher”?

Shush!

Mmm. Whatever.

(SCREAMS)

Ugh!

Huh?

A-ha!

OH: Oh!

Aw!

Oh!

Aw.

Oh!

Aw!

Oh!

Aw! Seriously?

You guys had to ruin the Statue Of Liberty?

“Statue of Smek.”

You will not get away with this.

(YELPS) Boov Patrol!

They are looking for you! TIP: Oh, no.

(SCREAMS)

(SIGHS)

(GASPS)

Oh, no!

What’s that?

Ow!

Hey!

Don’t distract the driver!

(SIGHS)

KYLE: Huh?

A-ha! Busta Lime.

(CHUCKLES)

“Busta Lime.”

Hmm. (GRUNTING)

Owpain! (SHUSHING)

(WHISPERS) Owpain.

(SIGHS)

Ooh!

Okay. Pee break.

I, too, has to break pee.

Or, as you calls it, the “number one.”

We also has the “number two.” Okay.

And the “number three.” Okay!

It is a good thing I doos not have to go the number three.

It would not be safe for you.

Ugh!

We only doos it once a year.

I would not call it a holiday…

but you doos need to take the day off.

That’s enough!

(TIP SCREAMS)

Whoa! You can’t come in here. This is the girls’ room.

(OH SHOUTS)

Do not eat the blue mints!

(OH SPITS)

Thankfully, there is a large bowl of lemonade.

(OH SLURPING LOUDLY)

OH: Oh!

Do not drink the lemonade!

(GROANING)

TIP: Be out in a second.

We’re going to Paris!

(GRUNTING)

Going to see my mom!

Takes your time!

Ant-arc-tica.

Here I come!

Fugitive Boov. (GASPING)

Hold still for arresting!

Best friend Kyle!

I am not your friend!

But I will be a hero Boov for getting your password.

(GASPS) Yes! You has in nick-time saved us!

What is the purpose of your face?

Owpain.

You were gonna ditch me?

No! Liar!

I never lie!

Yes, you do!

And you know how I know?

Because every time you lie, you turn green!

I doos not. I…

Poomp.

(SHOUTS) (GRUNTS)

Open the door, you lying, frog-faced squishy toy!

Stop! I need your…

You promised to help me find my mom!

Then I un-promise!

That’s not how it works! (GRUNTS)

You have to help me get to Paris.

I will not!

Stop! I need your…

(COUGHING)

I must hide!

I am speaking the English at you.

Why for you do not understands me?

Oh, I “understands.” I just don’t care.

Freezing! Look out!

(TIRES SCREECHING) (PIG YOWLING)

Oh, come on!

KYLE: Stop! I need your (IN SLOW-MOTION) password.

(GROANS)

No! Go!

All I wanted was his password.

(TIP HUMMING)

This is not a sustainable friendship model.

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

CAPTAIN SMEK: So…

I assume by now we have apprehended the fugitive.

Anybody? Um…

You. The purple one.

Not that purple. The other purple. The other purple.

That one.

Yes, you! Oh!

So, where is he?

We do not know, sir.

What? This is number one disaster!

His message must not reach the Gorg.

This planet was hard to find, and I will not abandon it!

Someone fetch me my stress blankie.

(LAUGHING)

So soothing.

(SPACESHIP HORN HONKING) Ooh!

A-ha! Officer Kyle!

Now here is a Boov who knows how to do his job.

Tell me, you have found the fugitive?

Yes.

Joyful exclamation!

And where is he?

Well, uh…

There is a tiny problem.

(LAUGHING)

(LAUGHS AWKWARDLY)

“Tiny.” As long as it’s tiny, who cares?

Well, before I got the password…

I erased him.

(SMACKING LIPS)

OH: Come party. Come party. Come party.

(WHIMPERING)

Ow!

Quit it! Sorry.

Look, Paris is danger for both of us.

It crawls with Boov.

Doos you have a plan

for once we are get there? Hmm?

Not really. But I have hope.

Oh! You are bad at math.

Excuse me? I got an “A” in geometry.

I am only saying…

Boov are superior in this way.

If probability for success falls below 50%…

(SIGHS)

Boov give up. You do not.

Exactly!

Enough with the ripping!

Okay, okay.

Tell you what. Let’s have some tuneage.

(POP MUSIC PLAYING)

(BOOV MUSIC PLAYING)

(YOWLS) (GROANS)

What is that?

Boov song.

It is called “Motionless and Obedient.”

Very big hit.

No, no, no! Not in my car.

Driver gets to pick.

Hmm! (POP MUSIC PLAYING)

This is not even music. This is just noise.

Involuntary physical response.

You have tricked me into listening

to a debilitating sonic weapon.

If you want humans to not hate you…

you could start by liking some of our stuff.

(YELPS)

(POP MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

Confusion. What is happening to my body?

It’s called dancing!

Boov do not dancing!

I can tell. But you’re getting the hang of it!

How long before this kills me?

I am not in control of my own extremities!

That’s it. Work it!

I do not want it to work!

Hey, you know what?

“Boov” rhymes with “groove.”

Shake your Boov thang.

(GASPS) It is shaking in a most undignified way!

Oh, no! My hands are in the air

like I just do not care!

This is not how a Boov behaves!

I am overheated with shame!

I must cool my core! Wait!

What are you doing?

I will returning!

We were having fun!

Oh!

Oh?

(LAUGHING)

TIP: Come on, Mom. It’s just snow!

LUCY: I don’t know anything about snow. Oh!

Our first snow!

TIP: Whoa! (BOTH LAUGHING ON VIDEO)

LUCY: Are you okay?

TIP: I’m sending this to…

(GASPS)

My temperature is back to happiness.

And to show I do not hold against you

any grudge-ment…

I have brought you delicious snacking.

Fa-da! Chewy plastic rings!

(GRUNTS) (GROANING)

I really do not enjoy your human gratitude customs.

Where have you been?

You were gone forever!

That is not accurate. “Forever” is…

I thought you were dead! Or hurt!

Or I don’t know!

But you cannot just leave someone alone like that!

Put yourself in my shoes!

How could I wears your shoes?

My pods are too small.

It’s an expression!

It means try to feel how someone else feels.

(SIGHS) I’m just a kid.

I’m not supposed to be by myself all the time.

This is child endangerment. Which is a crime, by the way.

But when I founded you, you were already alone…

so I thinks it is normal for you.

When Boov are young,

we are kept in the warming oven.

Is this normal for humanspersons?

Well, usually, we don’t cross the Atlantic

by ourselves until we’re 16.

No, none of this is normal!

Don’t you get it? You ruined everything!

I was finally happy here… there, where I lived.

With my mom.

Do you know how hard it was for me to fit in?

How long that took?

7th-grade girls are mean!

Yes, I sees that! I did not realize!

We will resume the finding of Mimom.

(GROANS) Stop saying that!

She’s just “my” mom.

Not yours. Mine.

How do you not understand this?

How would you feel if some horrible

aliens took your mother from you?

That could not to happen.

Boov are not having mimoms.

Boov don’t have families.

Huh!

No wonder you take things

and don’t care about anybody else.

So, your mimom…

is a very important humansperson to you.

More important than others.

To not belong with her causes you being sad.

But recent moments ago,

you are kicking on me and yelling.

Which is seeming more to be mad than sad.

Well, sometimes it’s both.

So, you are sad-mad.

(PURRING)

Hmm!

Humans are more complicated than it said in the pamphlet.

I vacuumed here as fast as I could.

Whoa! What for is your plan for figuring out

the dumb Boov’s password?

I got nothing! (ALL MUTTERING)

Please, come on! I need ideas!

You! The purple one.

Oh, come on!

So?

We could type in random numbers and letters?

I like it!

Get those big brains plugged in and working.

Away!

You know what the Gorg will do if they find us.

Chomp, chomp, chomp.

(ALL SCREAMING)

OH: And that is why we keep running away.

Whoa.

Why do these Gorg hate you so much?

Because they are Gorg.

We calls Gorg the “takers”…

because if you has something, they takes it.

Like, if you has a sandwich.

Or a planet.

No, no. I get it.

But they’re not coming to this planet, right?

Oh, no, no. Not to worry.

The Big Brain Boov will to fix my mistake.

But I will still be very punished.

We has a rule.

Nine mistakes and you are out.

How many mistakes do you have?

62. Hmm.

When I’m stressed out, my mom tells me jokes.

Boov do not do telling jokes.

Oh, it’s not that hard. I’ll teach you.

Knock, knock.

You would say, “Who’s there?”

You are there.

No, just ask me.

Who is there?

Now I say, “The interrupting cow.”

Now you say, “The interrupting cow, who?”

Let’s just do it.

Knock, knock.

Who is there?

The interrupting cow.

The interrupting cow… Moo! (LAUGHS)

You did not let me finish my response.

I was to say,

“The interrupting co…” Moo!

You did it again.

(GASPS) Oh!

That is the joke.

The cow is to being an interrupting cow…

and therefore interrupts me!

I know. That’s why it’s funny.

Moo! (MEOWS)

Let me fi… Moo!

That’s enough. I’m the interrupting cow.

Knock it off! Moo!

Oh, don’t make me get out more tape!

OH: So many Boovs!

I said this was dumbness.

I said I am doomed. But doos you listen? No!

Oh, that’s enough!

You are driving me to the crazy!

It is never too late to run away.

That is the Boov motto.

Yes, but we’re not doing that. I have a plan.

Is your plan to run away?

Because other-way-wise, it is stupid!

All we have to do is sneak into the city…

get into the Great Antenna, use it to find my mom…

and then sneak out again. See?

But it still will not work because my face is known.

If I am seen by any Boov,

I am 100% popular for being arrested.

(LAUGHS) What if I could fix that?

(GULPS)

(POP MUSIC PLAYING)

(GASPING)

(WHIMPERS)

Hold still.

First, a little beauty mark.

Letting me see. Whoa!

Not yet. Give me that mirror. Give to me, give to me!

(GASPS)

(EXCLAIMS)

It is like looking at a completed stranger!

No, I’m not done. It’s not even…

You are a worker of miraculous transformation!

Who is this Boov?

I do not know! (SCREAMING JOYFULLY)

All right, Oh.

(GROANING) (THUDDING)

Owpain.

ELECTRONIC VOICE: Express elevator departing.

Whoa!

This is uber freaky.

These are the smartest Boov you have?

Shh! You must be very quiet.

You do not want to break their concentra…

(SCREAMS)

OH: Come party. Come party.

Oh! What is it?

I thought the Big Brain Boovs

would have stopped my invitation by now.

But they have still not figured out my password.

How is this possible? Wait a minute.

Does this mean those horrible monster

Gorg thingies will come to Earth?

To Smekland, yes!

And what happens then?

There will be no finding of Mimom!

(GASPS) Then you’ve gotta fix this!

Yes.

Hurry!

By to the way, is your skull flexible?

What? Never mind.

It will be probably okay. Hold still.

Wow!

OH: (GASPS) 30 seconds to doom.

I shall input my password. It is…

“My name is Oh and Captain Smek is great

“and anyone who does not think that is a poomp 1.”

I wonder why no one guessed that.

I do not know.

It didn’t work? Impossible!

That is password!

That is… Oh, no! Caps Lock.

Come on, come on, come on!

Come party. Come party. Come party. Come party.

Come party. Come party.

Yes!

Yay! (ALL CHEERING)

Fa-da! It has worked.

It worked! Oh!

You did it, Oh!

(GASPING IN RELIEF)

That was closeness.

Okay, on your feet.

You still have to find my mom.

Oh, that is simplicity. We shall now searching on…

Lucy Tucci.

“Lucy Tucci.”

Australia.

OH: Observe Mimom.

That’s not funny.

This is not your mimom?

Are you kidding?

That’s not her!

Sure? (GASPS)

I know, I know. Okay?

You’ve been saying that for two weeks.

Please!

She has big green eyes and beautiful brown skin.

Mom.

So tell me where she is.

Or find me a Boov who can.

Please.

Oh! Gratuity Tucci looks just like tiny Mimom.

(GASPS)

Gratuity Tucci? Why for…

Thank you! Thank you,

thank you, thank you, thank you!

I can’t believe it! My mom’s in Australia!

And I has cancelled my e-vite!

I can finally come out of the hiding.

Yes!

(BOTH LAUGHING) (GUNS COCKING)

Uh-oh!

Well, well, well.

Hello?

Hold my crown.

And be very careful. It’s the only one.

(CLEARS THROAT) Well, well, well.

Did you really think you could escape?

Escape? No, no, no.

You see, I was just coming to tell you…

Despite your elaborate disguise…

the computer recognized you as…

the fugitive Boov!

(GASPS) Whoa!

(BOOV GASPING)

But he’s a hero Boov now!

Yes! I has fixed my mistake!

Yes, but before that, you has made your mistake.

And many mistakes before that.

Wait, I have not…

Many, many, many, many!

Actually…

Many mistakes before that.

So, I still has to erase you. Why?

You cannot guarantee you would not make a mistake again.

But I would not. But you might.

But I would not. But you might.

But I would not.

We could go round and round. Let’s do it again!

But I would not. But you might.

But I would not. I love this!

But I would not!

Ah! Bored now.

But I would… Shush!

Erase him!

TIP: Drop the bubble guns!

Or I will mess with this…

gravity thingy.

CAPTAIN SMEK: She is bluffing.

She could not possibly reach the gravity thingy.

(ALL GASP) (EXCLAIMS IN SURPRISE)

Curse you and your tippy-toe tallness!

Huh! But no problem.

Boov technology is far too complicated

for simple humansgirl to figure out.

Excuse me? (BOOV LAUGHING)

This humansgirl got an “A” in geometry.

She figured it out! Run for my life!

Out of my way! I am captain!

(ALL SCREAMING)

(GRUNTING)

Grab on!

Oh, no! I can’t hold you!

You weigh, like, a thousand pounds!

(LAUGHS) Let go.

What? Trust me.

Whoa!

Sorry. It is my duty to run away first.

Poomp.

What are you waiting for? I cannot touch.

It will not work if I drive it.

Fine. I’ll drive. (YELPS)

Owpain.

You are terrible driver.

(SCREAMS)

(LAUGHS)

BOTH: Whoa!

(BOTH SCREAMING)

Hoo-hoo!

Ooh!

BOTH: Whoa!

KYLE: Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Bon appétit. TIP: Oh, no, you don’t!

I am not paying for that.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(SIGHS)

(SCREAMING)

TIP: Whoa!

Oh! (SCREAMS)

TIP: Come on, you stupid horse!

(SIGHS)

Whoo, that was cl…

(MUZAK PLAYING)

(SNORING)

A-ha!

This time I got you…

and you cannot escape.

ELECTRONIC VOICE: Fugitive Boov detected.

I was wrong.

(SCREAMING)

(SIGHS)

(GASPS)

Jump!

TIP: Oh, no!

(SIGHING)

Whoa!

Look! I has found our car.

TIP: Pig!

I do not know why for you brought that.

We already hads food in the car.

It’s not food, it’s art.

Oh!

Then it is bad.

Stars do not look like that.

It’s not about how they look.

It’s about how they feel.

They feel hot.

(CHUCKLES)

Okay, math whiz, how long till we get to Australia?

17.9348 hours.

And then, Gratuity Tucci…

will see Mimom.

Whoa!

You hear that, Pig?

I can’t wait to tell Mom I actually went to Paris…

which you know she always wanted to do.

Hey, maybe we could both come back here.

We do have a flying car now.

How do you say “cat” in French?

(MEOWS) I think it’s “chat.”

Hmm.

What is the purpose of your face?

I has confusion.

I do not wish to be erased.

But maybe Captain Smek is right.

It is possible I will continue making hilarious mistakes.

Probably.

That is not making me feel better.

Nobody’s perfect.

My mom says your mistakes are what make you human. Hmm.

That is not what makes you Boov.

Gratuity Tucci…

before we came…

Captain Smek telled us that the humans needed us.

That the humans were just like the animals…

and that we could to make them better…

teach to them.

We were told the humans were simple and backwards.

It is what we thought.

But I am thinking now…

that we were thinking wrong.

And that Captain Smek is the wrongest.

I am thinking the Boov

should never have come to Smekland.

To Earthland.

So I am saying the sorry to you…

Gratuity Tucci.

Call me Tip.

It was a new home, a new country.

I tried to make friends at school…

but I was this nerd from Barbados.

But you dids to get an “A” in geometry.

Yeah, I did.

OH: I know when the other Boovs said “Oh”…

they were not happy to see me.

The true is, among Boov, I do not fit in.

I fit out.

She is so amazing.

She saved up everything she had…

so we could move and things would be better for us.

OH: I cannot wait to meet Mimom.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

“My name is Captain Smek. Shush, shush, shush.”

“Boov technology is far too complicated

“for simple humansgirl to figure out.”

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(SLOW MUSIC PLAYING)

(OH SNORING LOUDLY)

Ahh!

(SCREAMS) (MEOWS)

How did they find us?

I do not know!

They’re not attacking.

Because they are running away.

Why are they running away?

There can only be one reason.

Gorg.

This makes no sense. I stopped the message.

Gorg cannot to finding us.

Then how did they?

There must be some other reason!

(BOTH YELPING)

TIP: Oh, behind us!

Engage weapons system.

We have a weapons system?

Go, Burrito Torpedo!

BOTH: Yes!

TIP: We’ve been hit! We’re losing Grape Escape!

We lost Tangerine Twist!

If we lose Busta Lime, I cannot control!

Click and ticket. We are to crash!

Oh!

(ALL SCREAMING)

(GROANS) (GASPS)

TIP: No, no, no.

Slushious! No!

(TIP GRUNTS)

Don’t just stand there! Help!

Come on, come on, come on!

Slushious! No!

She’s gone.

We are doomed.

Now I’ll never make it to Australia.

I will now sing the Boov Death Song.

(CLEARS THROAT)

(SINGING)

A Gorg ship!

It is rude to interrupt the Death Song.

Maybe you could take the parts from it to fix our car.

I cannot. Those are Gorg parts.

They are metric.

We’re not getting this close and giving up.

Come on. No!

Always with the running towards danger.

Stop being such a Boov. It’s our only chance. Come on.

(GROWLING)

This has low probability of success!

Let’s go. Wait!

For what?

For you to change your mind.

(GROANS) Come on.

(WHIMPERING SOFTLY)

(YELLS)

There’s no pilot.

It is just a drone.

(SIGHING)

That could have been badness.

But we are not safety.

Gorg mothership will be here soon enough.

Can you use any of this?

Broken.

Useless.

Likely to cause thermonuclear fission.

(WHOOPING)

What is it?

It is Gorg super-chip!

(CONTINUES WHOOPING)

Why is it called a super-chip?

It is mostly marketing.

But it is key…

for the Gorg are having machines

that are stronger and better at everything.

So we can never fight them with equaltude.

Can we use it to fix Slushious?

Yes, yes! The Slushious will fly again.

Yes! (CHUCKLES)

(WHOOPING)

Mmm-hmm.

It was low probability of success.

Some Boov you are.

Quickly.

We must fix the Slushious and find Mimom.

“My” mom.

That is the thing I said.

I knew this would all work out!

BOTH: Whoa!

TIP: You were awesome!

We’re gonna find my mom…

you’re gonna show everybody the super-chip

and be a big hero…

and even Captain Smek will have to…

Whoa!

That’s a lot of people.

Bye, Boov! MAN 2: Get lost!

Wow. You guys really are good at running away.

Yes.

Yes, we are.

(GASPS)

Look, over there!

That’s where we saw my mom!

Hurry up, it is the last ship!

It’s okay, Pig. I’ll be back with Mom.

We’re almost there! OH: Over here.

What? Hurry!

I don’t understand. She’s in there?

Yes.

Tell me the truth.

There is no time.

You can come with me.

You will be safety.

My mom’s not on that ship, is she?

You promised to help me find her,

and you’re leaving?

You lied to me. No!

A lie is a bad thing.

I did a thing so you can live.

I’m not going. My mom is here.

You will never find her.

It is 100%.

Staying now does not make hope.

Gorg mothership will be here soon.

It destroys planets.

We must run away now! No!

It is true.

Humanspersons cannot even understand

simple, simple things.

I am saving you! I am being your friend.

No, you’re just running away.

You don’t leave your family.

But you can’t understand that…

because you’re just a Boov!

You’ve never been my friend.

Wait!

FEMALE ANNOUNCER ON SPEAKERS: Final escape pod departing.

(GRUNTS IN FRUSTRATION)

(GASPS) Oh!

I hate upon the Gorg! They are always finding us!

The Gorg mothership!

CAPTAIN SMEK: We are doomed!

Run away!

Make a path, I’m holding a baby.

It is the fugitive Boov!

(GASPS) He is running towards the danger!

Stop him!

Whoa!

Undo!

(SHOUTS IN ALIEN LANGUAGE)

Captain, we are achieving new highest speeds!

What has you done? What is that thing?

It is Gorg super-chip.

What?

Gorg drone crashed…

and I ran to it

and I found the chip. CAPTAIN SMEK: Enough.

You ran to a Gorg?

(GASPS) He runs towards the danger?

What kind of Boov is he?

He is like a Super Boov.

No, no, no.

He is not a Super Boov.

There is only one Super Boov on this ship,

and you know who it is.

You’re looking at him.

I invented running away.

And look at this. I have the Shusher.

I am your captain.

But you are not good captain.

What?

You telled us these things, and we all believed them.

I believed them.

But then I met a humansperson.

And she is not like you said.

(SCOFFS)

She is brave and smart…

and cares about other humanspersons.

In a way that we Boov

do not even care about each other.

(ALL MURMURING)

She even cares about me.

And I’ve done very little to earn that.

The Boov may be superior in many ways…

Uh-huh! Yeah.

…but not in the ways that I now

thinks are most important.

Oh, big deal!

I have had enough. Shush!

(GASPS)

That is enough shushing.

How dare you shush a shushing!

Oh is right. We need a new captain.

I thinks it should be Oh!

Me? No.

No! He cannot be captain.

I have the Shusher. I am captain!

Not anymore!

He will not know how to operate it!

It is very complicated.

Heavy on one end, light on the other.

Shush!

BOOV: Booyah! Whoo!

No, I am not a Leader Boov.

I makes far too many mistakes.

You are not the only Boov who makes mistakes.

For examples…

my mistake is not being your friend.

All hail Captain Oh!

(ALL CHEERING)

Ow! I saw who did that!

I hold grudges, you know!

(CRYING)

BOOV: Oh, you’re the best!

Want me to host party, Oh?

(ALL CHEERING)

(SLOW MUSIC PLAYING)

(INAUDIBLE)

(KNOCKING)

Go away.

OH: No, you are supposed to be saying “Who is there?”

Then I am to be saying… (GASPS) Oh?

“Moo!”

Oh!

I can’t believe it!

But I saw your ship leave! (GROANS)

But you came back! What are you doing here?

It is where I belongs.

You and Pigcat are my friends.

And alsos, too…

I gave you a promise.

(GASPS)

(INAUDIBLE)

He’s my friend.

Thank you.

Mom.

Oh, Tippy. My beautiful girl.

I’ve been looking everywhere, Mom.

I was so scared we’d never see each other again.

Oh, Mom, I never would have stopped looking

until I found you.

They are still looking.

(GASPS)

Gorg are not the takers.

Boov are.

We must demonstrate our affections later.

There is still one problem.

Excuse me, what is that?

That is Gorg mothership.

It is here to destroy the planet.

It’s going to destroy the planet?

Yes. But I haves a plan.

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

Oh?

What are you doing?

I am sorry.

Tip cannot come into the out now.

I am fixing my mistake.

Oh! You can’t do this on your own!

Maybe not.

But I haves hope.

No! Stop, no!

Please don’t do this by yourself!

(MEOWS)

No! Don’t!

Oh!

Stop!

Look!

Hey!

Gorg!

Oh, it is useless to yell.

Gorg!

They’re not gonna see him.

It’s not gonna work!

Merry Christmas.

Now? Just open it.

Thank you, sweetheart, but what…

What are you doing?

Distracting the driver.

(SPEAKING ALIEN LANGUAGE)

(WHOOPS)

It worked! The ship’s stopping!

It’s not gonna stop in time!

Stop faster!

He’s gotta get out of there!

Mom, help me with this thing! (GRUNTING)

(YELPS)

Oh!

Oh!

Run!

Tip! Stop!

Tip!

(SLOW MUSIC PLAYING)

Mom!

(CRYING)

(BEEPING)

TIP: Oh!

You’re alive.

But you scared me so bad!

You were scared?

I almost made a number three.

Not too hard!

It is still a possibility.

(BOTH SPEAKING ALIEN LANGUAGE)

TIP: What was all that?

Not all Gorg-speak has humans words.

But, it turns out, Gorg was not here

because of my invitation…

though Gorg would have been happy to attend.

Gorg was here because Gorg was tracking the rock.

What was in that thing?

Gorg family.

It is entire next generation.

LUCY: All of them?

All of them.

No wonder they’ve been chasing you.

Not “they,” “he.”

Apparently, that Gorg is last Gorg.

That is why rock was so important.

Without it, he was alonely…

and would someday be extinctly…

which made Gorg cranky and irrational…

and physically violent.

He was just like humansgirl.

He was sad-mad.

(PEOPLE CHEERING)

Thanking you.

Thanking you! High hand touching.

Yeah, give it here. High hand touching.

Up high! You are too slow.

High hand touching! That hurt.

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

Pig cat!

ALL: Hey, Oh!

Hello, friend Kyle.

I have that same color.

Hi, Mimom. Hi, Oh.

Awesome party, Oh!

Parties are so much more fun when other people show up.

Is it time to pick it up a level?

Yes!

This is gonna be sweet!

Drop it like it has a high temperature!

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

Uh…

(GASPS)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Oh, no!

What is happening to my body?

(EXCLAIMING)

BOTH: Shake your Boov thang!

My hands are in the air like I just do not care!

OH: I has a new start in a new home with new friends.

And now, every day is best day ever!

OH: You are all invited to a party, party, party.

Just head to the Milky Way. Turn right at the Big Dipper.

Third planet from the Sun.

Look for my balloons!

Come party!

LUCY: Everybody, smile!

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