Wednesday
Season 2 – Episode 7
Episode title: Woe Me the Money
Original release date: September 3, 2025
In 2008, Dort arranges for actor Arnold Hunt to act as leader of the Morning Song cult, where Bianca and her mother Gabrielle were held. In the present, Principal Dort uses Bianca’s siren abilities to make Grandmama Frump donate all her money to Nevermore. Isaac treats Françoise with blood transfusions from Tyler. When Ajax, worried about Bianca, tells Wednesday about Principal Dort’s crimes, Wednesday plans to expose Dort. Meanwhile, Dort burns Arnold Hunt in front of Bianca. At the annual Masquerade Ball at Nevermore, Enid and Agnes perform a dance during which Agnes, while invisible, steals Principal Dort’s pendant. After Ajax rescues Gabrielle, Bianca uses her truth aspiration spell to compel Principal Dort to confess his crimes; but he seizes Bianca as a hostage. Ajax uses his gorgon powers to turn Dort to stone, enabling Bianca to escape before a chandelier, whose rope had been burned by his powers, falls on him, shattering his stone body and killing him. Wednesday blackmails Grandmama Frump into donating a worthy sum to Nevermore before she discovers Isaac has kidnapped Pugsley.
* * *
[funky calypso lounge music playing]
[bartender] What can I get you?
[Dort] Three rocks, two fingers of Jack, and a…
[bartender] One splash of water.
You can never go wrong ordering a Sinatra.
Wait. You look familiar.
You were in The Crucible at the Jupiter Dinner Theater.
Your John Proctor was spellbinding.
The audience was hanging on your every word, particularly the ladies.
You saw that show?
You’re the only one who’s ever remembered.
I haven’t seen you at Tiki Tails before.
I’m Arnold Hunt.
Barry Dort.
I manage one of the Sirens.
Gabrielle.
I figured a talented guy like you would be knocking them dead out in Hollywood.
I mean, you certainly have the looks, charisma.
I took my shot in LA.
Even landed a recurring on a soap opera. Medical Affairs. No way. [chuckles] That was my mom’s favorite show, God rest her soul.
She never missed an episode.
I played Dr. Gideon Sterling.
Until my longlost brother came back from the dead, stole my wife, and they blew me up in my Porsche.
Tough break.
Yeah, career took a… a nosedive after that, so I packed up my Corolla and moved back home.
Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.
And you’re in luck because, boy, do I have the right opportunity for you.
I don’t need a manager, pal.
Those days are long gone.
I… I’m talking about something bigger.
I see a lot of broken people in my travels, especially Outcasts, and I have ideas how to fix them.
I want to create a place where likeminded people come together to follow a shared vision of enlightenment and growth.
Sounds like a cult.
Nobody likes the Cword.
I prefer the term “movement.”
I have an entire business plan, and I even wrote an instruction manual on how to build a better life.
I’m selfaware enough to know that this mug isn’t going to convince anyone.
I’ve seen you on stage, Arnold.
You have that indefinable star quality, and this is the part you were born to play.
You’re serious.
You remember The Wizard of Oz. I’m like the guy Toto finds behind the curtain, secretly pulling the levers.
You will be the great and powerful Oz, the face of our movement, the inspirational leader who touches people’s souls, and persuades them to part with their hardearned cash for a chance to be a part of something bigger than themselves.
[intriguing music playing] So does this movement have a name?
How about Morning Song?
Because every dawn brings the light of a new day.
So, what do you say?
[chilling, suspenseful music playing]
[faint laughter]
[Bianca] No, you can’t do that. [laughs] Here.
[door creaking open] Principal Dort, I can explain.
[Dort] No need, Bianca.
Your mother and I go back a long way.
Don’t we, Gabrielle?
[mysterious music playing]
[Gabrielle] Ah…
Who do you think introduced her to Gideon all those years ago?
You’re part of Morning Song?
I am Morning Song.
And we had a good thing going until you two poked your tails in and stirred things up.
Fortunately, I don’t hold grudges.
What do you want, Barry?
By my count, you’ve been living here rentfree.
But the free ride is over.
It’s time to get back to work, ladies.
[music builds to climax]
[music ends]
[jauntily macabre music playing]
[music trails off]
[indistinct chatter] How much longer is this going to take?
I can’t have my guests arrive to a crime scene.
I assumed you were canceling the gala, out of respect for your late colleague.
Oh, I know Professor Orloff would want us to keep calm and Outcast on.
That’s the Nevermore way.
Doubt anyone’s going to show up once this hits the press.
Perhaps we can just say there was an unfortunate classroom accident.
Do you really want it out there that the Jericho Sheriff’s Department still hasn’t caught a killer zombie?
This isn’t over.
From now on, my deputies handle campus security.
[scoffs] That’s a nonnegotiable.
[birds cawing] We both know Santiago and her crew have no chance against two Hydes and a zombie.
[Santiago] Let’s move.
Your newfound cynicism is refreshing.
Only you would leave psychic scar tissue in a body swap.
Nice try telling me to stay invisible.
Shh, save your apologies.
I’m not even a little sorry.
And you should be grateful we came to rescue you when there’s a premonition I’d die.
And yet it never comes to pass.
Worst premonition ever.
[scoffs] The premonition has changed.
You’re no longer the one who dies.
Really? Yes!
Wait. Who dies?
An Addams.
Which is why I need to flush out Isaac and the Galpin family before he gets to mine.
Your search may start closer to home.
Ahh.
Mmm!
Organic.
[grim music building] What has your braids in a twist, my little tempest?
The latest exhumation from the growing secrets you’ve been keeping from me.
Not only have you known the identity of Pugsley’s zombie…
Isaac Night was your roommate.
He was more than that.
He was my closest friend.
Your father was the only one who could charm his way into Isaac’s clockwork heart.
I tried to protect him from people who wanted to exploit his genius.
Like Augustus Stonehurst.
That’s why he built the lab for him in Iago Tower.
Stonehurst saw him as the key to unlocking the secrets of Outcast abilities.
[Gomez] But Isaac… had his own plans in mind.
[Morticia] Hmm.
He thought he could use science to extract Francoise’s Hyde ability.
I had no idea that Isaac was Pugsley’s zombie until I saw him at Pilgrim World.
[Wednesday] He’s not just some brainless pet anymore.
Isaac has fully regenerated.
And he’s reunited with Francoise and Tyler.
Who did not leave town as promised.
[Morticia huffs]
[crunches, gurgles]
[Morticia] Larissa told me it was you snooping around here in Enid’s body.
You and Weems have been conspiring behind my back?
You went to Rotwood’s grave.
It must have been your grand mama who planted that pernicious idea in your head.
It may have been pernicious, but it was enlightening.
How long have you been writing, Barbara Jean?
[plants gurgling] Since I was your age.
But I made the mistake of giving my mother one of my early efforts.
The sound of her… humiliating cackle still haunts me.
So, after that I decided to keep my literary career a secret.
Your father has no inkling. That’s the way I’d like to keep it.
My lips are sealed for my own protection.
I began to profusely vomit after reading the first five pages.
Well, perhaps one day you’ll appreciate the intoxicating power of weaving mystery and passion.
We have more pressing family matters at hand.
My premonition has changed, Mother.
Enid no longer dies.
One of us does.
An Addams.
[foreboding music playing] I’d like to sacrifice Pugsley.
Enid, wait.
Please. I… I’ve been looking for you.
I’ve been avoiding you, which I’ll do for the rest of my life.
Let me explain the situation with Sofia.
Is that your girlfriend’s name?
We decided to take a break when I came to Nevermore.
I figured I’d join a new pack here. I wanted to keep things casual.
[sighs softly] But then I met someone.
I can’t stop thinking about her.
I’m not going to compete for you.
I know. So I finally broke things off with her last night.
You’ve been keeping this a secret all semester.
I don’t know that I can trust you again.
I’ll do whatever it takes. Can I still escort you to the gala?
Enid Sinclair, in my classroom now!
You broke out of the Lupin cages last night. Why?
Just wasn’t really myself.
That’s not an excuse.
Becoming an Alpha isn’t something you can take lightly.
Especially with a full moon in two days.
That doesn’t sound ominous at all.
If a young Alpha transforms under a full moon, there’s a very real chance you could remain in your werewolf form.
For how long?
Wait.
You mean, like, forever?
I’m afraid it’s worse.
Alphas who permanently transform, they’re hunted and killed by other werewolves.
It’s a form of selfpolicing.
This is a living nightmare.
If you follow the precautions, you should be fine.
Before sundown, lock yourself in the Lupin cages and keep calm.
You’re not alone in this, Enid.
Your pack is your strength.
[breathing shakily] Leaving?
If you won’t give me permission to kill Wednesday, we need to get the hell out of Jericho.
The Addams family’s not your problem anymore, sweetie.
We have a bigger plan for them.
Leave it to your Uncle Isaac.
Because he’s been crushing it so far.
Every experiment has unforeseen complications.
We’ll be prepared next time.
There is no next time. Your machine was destroyed.
It doesn’t take a genius to see that you failed.
The only thing that I care about is saving my sister.
The one factor I don’t need in that equation is you.
Stop it. The minute we turn on each other, we’re dead.
One of us is already dead.
[Francoise coughing] Francoise?
Her medicine, find it.
It’s empty.
[somber, distraught music playing] I need some more.
[frustrated growl] There’s an animal hospital in town. Come with me.
[Francoise coughing]
[morbidly intriguing music playing] Check in the back.
We’re looking for anything that can point us to where they’re hiding.
Isaac isn’t going anywhere until he can save his sister from being a Hyde.
[delicately mysterious music playing] All Francoise ever wanted was a normal life, and she had it for a fleeting moment.
The last time I stood in this room, she asked me to be her maid of honor.
I knew she hadn’t told Galpin about her condition, so I declined.
We didn’t speak again.
Spare me your saccharine stroll down memory lane.
Then perhaps you can tell me how you plan to take on the Galpin family monster mashup.
Your sharp tongue won’t be enough to keep them at bay.
If you’re not here to help, feel free to dissipate.
[music swells, trails off]
[suspenseful music playing] For a couple of Hydes, they fled like rats.
Now I understand why Isaac was so hellbent on saving his sister.
She’s running out of time.
[delicate, foreboding music playing]
[Eugene] A New England corpse moth.
Extraordinary specimen. Where’d you find it?
Following someone’s emotional support zombie.
You found Slurp?
Tweezed these from Slurp when they were larvae.
Now they’re about to enter their migratory phase.
What’s that?
When they return to their host body.
To lay their eggs.
What if the body’s on the run?
[sighs] I bet they can still find it.
Insect GPS beats Google Maps every day of the week.
I just wanted a friend.
What, couldn’t find one with a pulse?
I tried, okay? But no one was interested.
[melancholy music playing]
[sighs] Go find your host.
[enigmatic, intriguing music playing]
[faint police radio chatter] Hey.
I saw this and went to go check on your mom, but she’s not in the room.
She was afraid Gideon was onto her.
And now that the sheriff has deputies crawling all over campus, it was a matter of time before she was discovered.
Wait, she left?
But where’s she going?
I’m not sure.
She thought it was better I didn’t know.
It wouldn’t be the first time she’s disappeared on me.
At least now you don’t have to worry about us.
Bianca. What’s going on?
Ms. Barclay, can I see you in my office?
Just drop it, okay?
It’s better for everyone this way.
[cryptic music playing]
[door opens]
[music trails off] Grandmama?
I’m just biding my time enjoying your novel.
Viper’s mother, Dominica, is pitch perfect.
How do you describe her?
“A clingy stayathome optimist that makes Viper want to shed her skin more times than a cobra.”
[indulgent laughter] Speaking of your mother, she crystal balled me earlier.
Gave me an earful about steering you to Professor Rotwood’s grave.
Said there were complications.
I’m just relieved that you’re unscathed.
Neither of us have an iota of compassion.
It’s one of our most endearing traits.
Tell me what really brings you to Nevermore.
Your weasel of a principal called last night.
I’ve heard kidnapping victims sound less desperate.
He’s offering me the moon to donate to your mother’s gala.
I thought that ship had sailed, capsized, and sunk to the bottom of the Mariana Trench.
Of course it has. But you know what I say…
The bigger the offer, the sweeter the grovel.
You want to see the whites of his eyes when you reject him.
There are few greater thrills than witnessing the exact moment when a man’s spirit is broken.
Time to put Dort out of his misery.
If he hasn’t drowned in his flop sweat already.
[Hester] Um…
Perhaps what you and your mother need is a break from each other.
Come stay with me for the summer.
I could teach you about the family business.
I realize you’re going to be a literary enfant terrible, but death is recession proof.
Thank you, Grandmama.
I knew you’d come under my black wing eventually.
You may be an Addams, but you’re a Frump at heart.
What little heart you have.
Hester Frump, it’s an honor to have the duchess of the dearly departed haunt the halls of Nevermore once again.
Savor it. I expect this visit to be brief and final.
Then I won’t waste another second.
As I said on the phone, your generosity will not only ensure our future, but will build a monument to your life and work.
Introducing…
[grandiose fanfare trumpeting]
…the School of Mortuary Sciences at… Frump Tower.
Nevermore will be the preeminent academy for tomorrow’s morticians, embalmers, and funeral directors.
This will include updating the campus cemetery with Frumpbranded headstones, and replacing the orchard with a body farm.
Death, Nevermore, and Frump.
Can you think of a more unholy trinity?
[Hester chuckles] A masterful presentation.
My ego has never been more expertly stroked.
But flattery is like formaldehyde.
It is to be sniffed, never swallowed.
Which is why I have zero intention of giving one cold cent to this motheaten dump.
It was worth a shot.
[door opens] Bianca, would you please escort Ms. Frump to her car?
You will leave your entire fortune to Nevermore.
That is your legacy.
You will present this decision to your family and the world without raising suspicion.
You will attend the gala as the guest of honor.
[entrancing music playing] And once I snap my fingers, you won’t remember I was ever here.
[entrancing music subsides]
[Hester exhales]
[door opens]
[door closes] Hey, we need a vet!
Please, it’s urgent!
Sorry, I’m closing…
It’s an emergency. A car hit my dog.
I can’t move him by myself. Please.
Where is he? Let’s…
[vet grunts]
[chilling music playing]
[wet crunching] You said she needs a transfusion.
The pills they gave her at Willow Hill suppressed her Hyde gene, thus prolonging her life.
And when she transformed to save you, it must have exacerbated her condition.
Are you saying this is my fault? I’m killing her?
No.
But delaying her treatment will.
What your mother needs is blood.
Hyde blood.
Roll up your sleeve.
[chilling music subsides]
[elegant, lilting music rises]
[indistinct chatter] I know you’re here, Larissa.
[Weems] The gala will no doubt be a rousing success.
Morticia Addams will save Nevermore.
And the Larissa Weems era will be buried once and for all.
It’s never been my intention to overshadow your achievements.
And yet, it always ends up happening.
What has Wednesday done now?
It’s not her this time.
Your mother is using your estrangement to pull Wednesday closer to her.
I envied so much of your life, Morticia.
But not your relationship with that old bat.
Thank you for saying so.
[chuckles] Don’t thank me yet.
You’re more like your mother than you think.
[scoffs] I’m talking about your pathological predilection for secrets.
Larissa, that’s completely unfair.
Is it?
You have failed to be forthcoming with Wednesday about your true relationship with Francoise and Isaac.
Her vision has changed.
An Addams dies now.
Don’t let this rip apart the family you’ve spent your life trying to protect.
Tell her the truth before tragedy strikes.
If I have to spend my nights in this cage, I should make it feel like home.
How goes the Hyde hunt?
I put some feelers out.
They should be honing in on Isaac’s rotting flesh as we speak.
What’s wrong, Enid?
Fun fact I learned today.
If a young Alpha wolfs out on a full moon, there’s a high chance that I could never change back.
Like ever. And if that isn’t enough, I’ll be hunted by other werewolves.
The full moon is in two days. How are you supposed to prevent that?
By staying calm. Trying to distract myself with things that make me happy.
Like, picking a dress for the gala.
For a gala you aren’t going to attend?
Bruno asked me.
As a friend.
Capri granted me an exception for my dance routine, as long as I lock up afterwards.
Capri said I didn’t have to face this Alpha business on my own.
That my strength is in my pack.
But the truth is…
[tender, emotional music playing]
…you are my pack, Wednesday.
[inhales, exhales sharply] If I wolfed out and couldn’t, you know, change back, would you come and find me?
I have no problem hunting you down.
[emotional music swells]
[Enid] Ajax!
Bianca’s in trouble.
Have you heard of Gideon Sterling?
I can’t believe Bianca had a whole crime drama going on and none of us knew!
Now her mom’s missing.
I think that Dort’s involved.
Sheriff Santiago and her deputies are crawling all around the campus.
We have to tell someone!
Dort thinks we’re in the dark.
I do my best work in the dark.
Wednesday.
Perfect timing.
Come look at my new tower.
Oh, that’s just the tip of the Frump philanthropic iceberg.
You said the only charity in life was a quick, painless death.
Since my own family has little interest in the empire I’ve built one grave at a time, I’ve decided all my spoils should be used to educate future generations of Outcasts.
Can you believe this woman’s generosity?
No.
I can’t.
I’m still gonna inherit your vintage car collection, right?
Not even a rusty hubcap, my darling.
Our door has always been open to you, Hester.
You’re the one who boycotted our wedding, and declined invitations to all family gatherings.
I’m done with arguing about the past. I only care about the future.
What Principal Dort and I have planned will get Nevermore back on track.
Like barring Outcasts without an ability from enrollment.
Like that inadequate husband of yours.
Being an Outcast is a state of mind.
No, dear. That’s a platitude losers say to make them feel like winners.
Let’s just celebrate the fact that Nevermore’s future is secure.
Group selfie? [Dort chuckles]
[Dort] You, uh… Oh.
[Bianca grunting] Wednesday. I thought you were taking a break from the team.
Sabbatical’s over.
[tense music pulsing]
[Bianca pants] En garde. I’ve barely seen you all semester.
We have different extracurriculars.
You do comas. I do a cappella.
And galas.
You’ve taken to those like a Siren to water.
Your mother deserves most of the credit.
Her attention to detail is incredible.
I enjoyed working with her.
Speaking of mothers, how’s yours?
Haven’t seen her since the summer.
You missed her when she was hiding in that classroom off the quad?
I don’t know what Ajax told you, but stay out of it!
You’ve involved my family, so that’s an impossibility.
Dort is blackmailing you and your mother, isn’t he?
That’s why you Sirensonged my grandmother.
The four horsemen of the apocalypse would have to gallop through her tombstones before that woman gave a cent to this school.
[music builds, steadies] I thought I had freed my mom from my stepfather.
But it turns out, Gideon is just the front man.
And Dort is behind it all.
He was playing everyone from the start.
He plans to steal your grandmother’s fortune.
You should have come to me.
Even Wednesday Addams can’t save me from this.
I’m sorry, but I had no choice.
And I still don’t.
You won’t remember this conversation, or anything you know about my mother.
Nothing about the gala is suspicious to you.
[emphatically] Let it go.
[entrancing melody playing]
[footsteps receding]
[Agnes laughs] You called it perfectly.
What’d she say?
[Agnes] Exactly what you predicted.
Bianca confessed she’s being blackmailed by Dort and some guy named Gideon.
Then she Sirensonged me into forgetting.
We really do make a great team, don’t we?
Show yourself, Agnes.
[whoosh] Now that your premonition changed, and Enid isn’t dying, I knew I had to step up my game to become your best friend.
By raiding my closet?
I did this for you.
I wanted to show you how much you mean to me.
You failed.
[distraught music playing]
[whimpers softly]
[bell tolling]
[Francoise whispering] This is very important to me, Isaac.
[Isaac] I know it is.
I know.
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
[Tyler] Mom.
Hey, sweetie.
You’re alive.
I am. Thanks to you.
[Isaac] You’ve been out for hours.
We gotta get moving.
What’s the plan?
We save your mother, and we make the Addams Family pay for their sins.
I’ve got a surprise for you.
[Bianca] Gideon.
The first family of Morning Song, back together again.
By the time Hester Frump wakes up tomorrow, her fortune will be gone, and we’ll be on a private plane.
Viva Venezuela!
I’m not spending a minute with this brat after she sold me out to the feds.
Hey, hey. No fingerpointing.
Mistakes were made all around.
It’s my name and picture all over the news.
I told you to stay put, but you decided to run.
I think I know why they wrote you off that soap opera.
You go off script.
And let’s face it, your improvisational skills are not the greatest.
I didn’t see you complaining when I was selling my soul, peddling your new age Morning Song BS for the last 15 years, making you rich.
If you give me up to the feds, I’m taking you down with me.
Buddy, haven’t I always taken care of you?
Relax.
Go wait in my apartment with Gabrielle.
Think about the fresh start I’m about to give you.
Remember our Morning Song credo?
“Every dawn brings a new day.”
I just want my money, Barry.
And then I’m out. Forever.
I’m done with all you freaks.
[menacing music playing] If it wasn’t for me, Arnold, you’d still be mixing lousy Mai Tais at Tiki Tails.
I’ve given you my soul.
Give me my money.
Do you know why Venetians had masquerade balls?
So they could revel in their anonymity, free from judgment.
They would wear masks.
And in doing so, reveal their true selves.
What’s your point, Barry?
One thing I’ve learned in my short tenure as Nevermore’s principal is Outcast pride.
I can do anything.
So tonight, I’m taking off my mask.
In fact, I’m going to burn it and begin anew.
[music intensifies]
[Gideon screams painfully]
[gasps] Oh.
It’s time for you to shine.
[bold fanfare playing]
[jaunty, elegant classical music playing] Was it worth the wait, my darling?
Bellissimo, Cara mia. You have outdone yourself.
[“The Abduction from the Seraglio” by Mozart playing]
[crowd] Ah!
[bombastic opera music continues]
[crowd clamors enthusiastically] Ah, buona sera, Addams family.
Your mother has already made herself the belle of the ball.
I’m firing the board, and reinstating corporal punishment.
[crowd] Oh!
Yes, lots to discuss later.
All right. There you go. Excuse me.
[Hester] Where’s Wednesday?
We’re barely on speaking terms at the moment.
Well, now you know what it feels like, Morticia, to be despised by a child to whom you’ve given everything.
I guess we have that in common.
[Pugsley] There’s Wednesday.
Look at us.
One big unhappy family.
[whispering] I made sure you have the seat next to mine, as I need your input on the list of teachers to terminate.
[Bianca] Make sure you try it.
Wednesday! Surprised you’re here.
Where’s Dort hiding your mother?
How did you…
If you want Dort to stop, you need to trust me.
Where is she?
Anyway…
[Dort continues chatting indistinctly] In his apartment.
[operatic music halts]
[lilting waltz playing]
[Enid sighs] Certainly a million miles away from our first date.
[Enid] You mean no knives and chains?
Not that this is a date, though.
Of course not.
[girl] Bruno?
Sofia? I don’t believe it. How… How’d you get here?
I’m guessing the red eye from Manila.
The second you told her it was over.
You must be Enid. I don’t want this to be awkward.
Don’t worry.
I’m not gonna be the villain in this story.
I think I wanted us to work out because I was holding onto the past.
But I have a new path now.
One I have to face alone.
Enid, I…
[sighs sadly] Killer dress, by the way.
[elegant classical music playing in distance]
[disembodied sobbing] Agnes?
I can’t even get peace and solitude in a crime scene.
What happened to you?
Wednesday dropped an Addams bomb on me.
Congrats. You win.
I thought I was everything she wanted in a best friend.
Sarcastic, sardonic, with the same dark neogoth aesthetic.
A taskoriented clue hound, willing to risk life and limb in a relentless pursuit of solving the case.
[sobs softly] But it turns out… I was dead wrong.
One Wednesday Addams is more than enough for this world.
If you’re tired of being invisible, stop hiding in other people’s personalities.
Be your own psycho, Agnes.
Trust me, you’ll be good at it.
What about your dance routine?
Mmm. Well, the pack group chat is blowing up with the Bruno news, and I really don’t feel like being a lone wolf out there, so…
I’ll dance with you.
You don’t know my choreography.
Unless you’ve been stalking my rehearsals.
[shocked chuckle]
[Agnes giggles happily]
[serene classical music playing] Morticia, it’s probably best you didn’t follow me into the family business.
I’ve been to funerals with more life than this gala.
We’re about to heat things up with a student dance routine.
And then we’ll call you to the stage for some brief remarks.
And finally, I’ll whisk you to my office to complete the pesky paperwork.
[operatic singing in distance] Have your moths reported back yet on Slurp?
No. Why aren’t you inside with your family?
Doubt they’ve even noticed I’m gone.
[Pugsley sighs]
[operatic music crescendos]
[suspenseful music playing]
[Gabrielle gasps] Ajax!
Don’t worry, Dort can’t hurt you anymore.
Come on, show’s about to start.
[music trails off]
[exhales steadily] Did you find Bianca’s mom?
Ajax is with her.
If we’re going to stop Dort, we’re going to need more help.
That includes you, Agnes.
I know you’re still here.
Finally, some originality.
I don’t care what you think about me anymore.
Good.
What’s the plan?
[“The Dead Dance” by Lady Gaga playing]
[dark, glamorous electropop music continues]
♪ Like the words of a song I hear you call ♪
[audience member] Yeah!
♪ Like a thief in my head, you criminal ♪
♪ This goodbye is no surprise ♪
♪ This goodbye won’t make me cry ♪
♪ Yeah, I’ll keep on Dancing until I’m dead ♪
♪ Dancing until I’m dead ♪
♪ I’m dancing until I’m dead ♪
♪ Yeah, I’ll keep on Dancing until I’m dead ♪
♪ Dead ♪
♪ I’m dancing till I’m dead ♪
♪ ‘Cause when you killed me inside That’s when I came alive ♪
♪ Yeah, the music’s gonna Bring me back from death ♪
♪ I’m dancing until I’m dead ♪
♪ I’m dancing till I’m dead ♪
♪ You’ve created a creature of the night ♪
♪ Now I’m haunting your air Your soul, your eyes ♪
♪ This goodbye is no surprise ♪
Whoa!
♪ This goodbye won’t make me cry ♪
♪ Yeah, I’ll keep on Dancing until I’m dead ♪
♪ Dancing until I’m dead ♪
♪ I’m dancing until I’m dead ♪
♪ Yeah, keep on dancing until I’m dead ♪
♪ I’m dancing till I’m dead ♪
♪ ‘Cause when you killed me inside ♪
♪ That’s when I came alive ♪
♪ Yeah, the music’s gonna Bring me back from death ♪
♪ I’m dancing until I’m dead ♪
♪ I’m dancing till I’m dead ♪
♪ ‘Cause when you killed me inside ♪
♪ That’s when I came alive ♪
♪ Yeah, the music’s gonna Bring me back from death ♪
♪ I’m dancing until I’m dead ♪
♪ I’ll dance until I’m dead ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
Oh!
[song trails off] Wow! How ’bout that?
[microphone feedback whines]
[exhales resolutely] Hey, whoo!
[applause subsides] My name is Bianca Barclay, and I’m the student gala coordinator.
[student] Yeah, Bianca!
Tonight was only possible thanks to the tireless efforts of two very special Outcasts, Gala Chairwoman, Morticia Addams, and our very own Principal Dort.
[scattered cheers] Please, join me on stage.
[Dort] Oh! [laughs awkwardly] Before I introduce our guest of honor, Principal Dort… [inhales deeply] …please… tell everyone exactly how this gala came together.
[echoing] …tell everyone exactly how this gala came together…
[entrancing melody playing] It started when I… ordered Bianca Barclay to Siren Morticia Addams into asking her mother for a large donation.
[audience murmuring]
[gulping nervously]
[clears throat] And when that didn’t work, I held Bianca’s mother hostage to force her to Siren Hester Frump to donate her fortune.
[outraged gasps]
[student] Are you out of your mind?
Also, I promised my Morning Song stooge, Gideon, that I would split the money.
But I’m not big into sharing, so now he’s a pile of ash in my fireplace, and I’m keeping all the cash.
[audience clamoring] Oh, boy.
[Dort] All right!
[Morticia gasps] I’m walking out of here, or the Siren’s toast!
Back off! Stand back!
I mean it!
[dramatic music swells]
[Gomez gasps]
[Ajax] Dort!
[hissing]
[dramatic music crescendos, trails off]
[crowd gasps]
[delighted laughter] Oh, bravo!
Now that’s what I call a thrilling climax.
[Bianca] I don’t know how you hacked my Siren song, but thank you.
I’m not the one you should be thanking.
I owe you one, Ajax.
You really rocked his world.
I’m looking forward to having your company this summer.
It will give me an excuse to decamp the bats from the guest wing.
After the vile comment you made about my father, I’m canceling my plans.
I’ve lost my ability.
Does that make me less of an Outcast?
Don’t be ridiculous. You’re just going through a phase.
My father has many infuriating habits, but when it comes to being an Outcast, there’s none finer.
If you would like me to reconsider, you must make a very sizable donation to Nevermore in his honor.
Are you resorting to emotional blackmail?
There’s nothing emotional about it.
It’s just blackmail.
[indulgent laughter] Done.
Only you could throw a gala that begins with a fiery murder and ends with a shattering death.
Well played, my dear.
You’re not upset?
Almost being conned out of my entire fortune was the biggest rush I’ve had in years.
I actually feel alive.
[mischievous music playing] Wednesday! Isaac… he’s here.
Where?
At the Nevermore graveyard.
Pugsley.
Where’s Pugsley?
[eerie music playing]
[Pugsley chuckles] Hello, old friend.
Slurp?
Is that you?
Pugsley, I hate to ask but… I need your help.
[jarring stinger]
[muffled struggling]
[sinister music building]
[Wednesday] Pugsley!
Pugsley?
Pugsley!
[music trails off]
[jauntily macabre outro music playing]
