Wednesday
Season 2 – Episode 3
Episode title: Call of the Woe
Original release date: August 6, 2025
Wednesday gets into Galpin’s phone and learns about the “Bullpen”, a hunting cabin they used as a rendezvous. Wednesday decides to attend Nevermore’s first camping trip to investigate, but her parents also come along as chaperones. Pugsley brings along Slurp so that he is not left unattended. A double booking leads Nevermore to compete with the Phoenix Cadets for use of the campsite, and Nevermore wins the capture the flag challenge. At the “Bullpen”, Wednesday discovers years of newsclips on the deaths of outcast Willow Hill patients and the name “LOIS” painted on a wall. In a bid to regain Goody’s book, Wednesday challenges Morticia to a blind duel, where if Wednesday wins, she gets the book, and if Morticia wins, she can burn the book. They duel, and Morticia defeats Wednesday. When the Phoenix Cadets attempt to raid the campsite, they accidentally release Slurp, who kills their scoutmaster in the process. After Wednesday stops Slurp, he is transferred to Willow Hill, where Laurel Gates is also a new patient.
* * *
[eccentric, baroque music playing]
[Morticia] Stassa’s waiting list is six months long.
How did you get her up to Jericho on a moment’s notice?
She has a sore spot for disembodied appendages.
And I tripled her usual fee.
[Morticia] I’m so mortified we forgot Thing’s birthday.
It’s unforgivable.
I’ve been so preoccupied with the children and chairing the fundraising gala…
No, no, no, no, no…
Fret not, Cara Bella.
Another hour under Stassa’s deft touch, Thing will be a new hand.
Tell me, how goes the fundraising?
Agonizing.
[sighs] Last night, I had the sudden urge to call Mama, and ask her to be guest of honor at the gala.
[gasps] How very distressing.
She is Nevermore’s wealthiest alumni.
Doubtless that’s why Principal Dort recruited me.
Of course not, darling.
[indignant huff] I will never understand why my…
[through gritted teeth] …dearest Mama has to make every interaction so torturous.
Fortunately, I have a very high threshold for pain.
Which I find intoxicating.
[Gomez smooching] Perhaps I can help you take your mind off your…
mother.
[sensuous tango music playing]
[tango continuing faintly in distance]
[suspenseful music building]
[faint thud echoes]
[music intensifies, halts] Darling, I’m going to slip into something a little bit more uncomfortable.
Make sure it has a lot of spikes and buckles.
[anticipatory exhale] I underestimated your batlike hearing.
And my maternal intuition.
Did you honestly think I would hide Goody’s book in there?
You used to hide our Dia de los Muertos presents in here.
Because I wanted you to find those.
Do you remember my favorite bedtime story?
Mmhmm.
The Salem Witch Trial transcripts.
Nothing put you to sleep faster than the rantings of the condemned.
They were allowed to make their case to the magistrate.
Allow me the same courtesy?
In my most recent vision, I learned that I am responsible for Enid’s death.
What did you see?
A headstone with Enid’s name.
It was in the middle of a graveyard filled with crows.
They were being led by a oneeyed crow.
Then Enid appeared and claimed it was my fault.
Galpin was murdered by that same oneeyed crow.
And his former partner was also killed by these birds.
These aren’t random attacks. Someone is behind it all.
An Avian?
I need to find the killer before they get to Enid.
I am not appealing to you as my mother, but as a fellow psychic.
As a fellow psychic, you understand your visions are unreliable and open to many interpretations.
Not mine.
I had mastered my ability. It showed me exactly what I needed to see.
Hmm.
Like that serial killer, hmm?
In Kansas City.
[chilling music plays]
[screaming]
[blade thwacking]
[music halts] Every artist needs their own signature.
You’ve made a very compelling argument…
to never give you back that book.
You haven’t mastered anything.
But the only answers I have are in that book.
They’re not answers.
They’re shortcuts that will lead you down a treacherous path filled with pain.
Your treacherous path is my walk in the park.
[scoffs] You sound just like Ophelia.
She was impatient and strongwilled, and allowed her ability to drive her to madness.
I’m not your sister.
No, you’re my daughter.
And I won’t fail you the way that my mother failed Ophelia.
This isn’t over.
[Gomez chortling]
[inhales deeply] Tish?
I’m sorry, mon cheri.
The romantic mood has unexpectedly escaped me.
[gasps] Maybe later.
[giggles]
[jauntily macabre music playing] Until I can thwart my mother and get Goody’s book back, I might have to solve this case the oldfashioned way.
Galpin may have finally left a useful clue.
Yet even in death, he refuses to cooperate.
[Enid] Ugh! I’m doomed.
I have nothing to wear.
And where’s the top to my zebrastriped bikini?
Hiding in shame.
Are you gonna stare at that disgusting eyeball, or help out your friend?
[Wednesday] It’s an overnight camping trip.
How many outfits could you need?
There’s the bus fit, and then the opening campfire, then the latenight swim, then the morning hike, and the final jamboree.
Not to mention breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
If you came, it would be the perfect opportunity to get to know the Wolf Pack better.
As Voltaire once said, “The happiest of lives is a busy solitude.”
You can’t avoid people forever.
Ironic, considering you’ve been avoiding Ajax.
He keeps dropping gifts at the door like some desperate raccoon.
Ugh! I just didn’t expect my relationship with Bruno to heat up so quickly.
We literally skipped right past the talking phase.
[sighs] Oh, I don’t know how to break things off with Ajax.
A quick blow to the head should suffice.
I don’t want to hurt his feelings. It’s not his fault we grew apart.
Didn’t Divina borrow your swimsuit top?
Oh my God. Maybe she did. Thank you.
[door opens] I don’t know if Divina borrowed her bikini top.
I needed the decibel level to go down so I could think.
That premonition stays between us.
She’s gone full Sylvia Plath over a bikini top.
Who knows how she’d react if she knew I had a vision of her death?
Enid’s dying? Can I sing at the funeral?
“Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”
Feels very Enid. I already know the lyrics.
How long have you been here?
Since… this.
Make it disappear again.
Enid’s not going to die, because I’m going to find the murderer first.
Breathe a word…
And you’ll find some fiendishly exotic way to kill me.
I know.
So what’s our next move?
There is no next move.
I already have a right hand.
I don’t need another.
Go find somebody else to stalk.
The more you push me away, the more I’ll want to please you.
Classic emotional manipulation technique.
I’m late for a funeral.
If you’re here when I get back, I’ll be early for another.
[bees buzzing] So, Slurp just came back on his own?
Yep. He was in here when I came in this morning.
He looks different.
I… I think he’s healing.
[Slurp burps] Check out the inside of his skull.
[Pugsley] I think he’s even starting to regrow a brain in there.
[Eugene] Incredible.
It’s like he’s regenerating in hyper speed.
[Pugsley] I’m telling you, it’s the mystery meat.
The more he eats, the more alive he gets.
What are we going to do if he runs away again?
He won’t.
He may be brainless, but he knows he’s got a sweet setup here.
Who else is going to take care of him?
[Eugene] Whoa! Check out this larva!
New England corpse moth. Super rare. Only ever found…
In corpses?
[retches] What’s the matter, boy?
[grunts, yowls] Did you hear that? He said his first word.
Br…
That’s right, I am your bruh!
[Eugene] He’s a zombie.
He’s not trying to call you his bruh. He’s trying to say “brains.”
Don’t use the Z word.
He’s sensitive.
How do you not know this?
We’re supposed to be his friends!
No biting! No biting! Bad Slurp!
This is way too dangerous. We need to tell someone.
No!
They’ll take him away, or worse, put him down.
He’s already dead. We can’t leave him here alone while we’re off camping.
Don’t worry about that.
I already got that covered.
[officiant] May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be at your back.
May the sunshine warm your face, and may the rains fall upon your fields.
May God hold you always. Amen.
Two mourners.
That’s two more than Galpin ever deserved.
[Santiago] The department had to send an official.
He was a former sheriff.
I lost the coin toss with Ryken.
And I’m here representing Tyler.
He rather grimly asked me to make sure his father was really dead.
What’s your excuse?
I’m mixing business with pleasure.
Funerals are a hobby.
And killers have a habit of showing up to their victims’ interments.
Dr. Fairburn tells me you visited Tyler at Willow Hill.
He won’t give you clues.
He’ll send you down rabbit holes.
It doesn’t take years of police work to see that.
It wasn’t years of police work that exposed Tyler as a Hyde. It was me.
Then I shouldn’t have to warn you to stay out of the crosshairs of another unhinged Outcast.
Whoever killed Galpin and Bradbury means business.
Don’t tempt fate, Ms. Addams.
Did Galpin ever visit Tyler?
You don’t really expect me to tell you that.
Once.
Within seconds, Tyler transformed. Almost ripped through those titanium bars.
It took five minutes with a shock collar before he returned to his human form.
Never seen anything like it.
Pure, undiluted rage.
This killer, I think they’re an Avian.
The ability to control birds.
Intriguing theory.
Rest assured, we have no Avian patients at Willow Hill.
I appreciate your candor.
Like you said, the only reason that Tyler is safely locked away is because of you.
I think that’s worth a little offtherecord quid pro quo.
That’s more than Galpin ever gave me.
[mysterious, unsettling music playing]
[caws]
[music trails off]
[keyboard clacking] Oh! Welcome to the Inn at Apple Hollow.
Checking in?
I need the key to room 302.
This guest is not to be disturbed.
And I was never here.
It’s me.
Mom?
[Gabrielle gasps] I told you to keep these closed. You haven’t been out, have you?
I’ve been glued to the news.
Yeah. I heard the FBI raided the Morning Song compound this morning.
But Gideon wasn’t there.
I’m scared.
The only way you were leaving that cult was in handcuffs or a body bag.
I wasn’t gonna let that happen.
I know.
Look, Gideon found you at your most vulnerable.
I’m not blaming you.
[Gabrielle] You should.
We both know the only reason he married me was to help him recruit people so that he could steal their money.
Water under the bridge.
The hard part is over.
I got you out.
Now you just have to stick to the plan.
You got the evidence that Gideon’s a fraud and I sirened those feds into action.
They’re going to find him.
And then, once he’s in custody, we’ll be free.
I promise I will keep you safe.
[Wednesday] This investigation has flat lined. The only chance for resuscitation is by taking drastic measures. Agnes, when you sent me those stalker text messages, how did you unlock Galpin’s phone?
The nose is a little bigger.
[springy scrunching]
[cheeky music playing]
[phone bleeps]
[Wednesday] I’m in.
[Agnes] Nice shapeshifting, Josephine.
Anything for Wednesday Addams.
I grabbed what I could from Galpin’s house before the cops did a sweep.
For our first case together, I wanted to overdeliver.
I find your lack of boundaries infuriating and your fawning devotion irksome.
But your ability does have its investigative perks.
She’s even crueler in person.
Leave. You’re both dismissed.
[Bradbury] They’re onto me. If I don’t make it, the evidence is safe at the bullpen.
[crow caws]
[phone bleeps]
[Wednesday] Bullpen?
Bradbury hasn’t been a cop for years.
Doubt he was talking about the bullpen at the sheriff’s station.
I think we’re looking for an address to a house or apartment.
[intriguing music playing]
[uneasy violin line quavering] Pine Crest, 2015.
[intriguing music continues] Yes, but how do we get there?
Looks like the great outdoors beckons after all.
Pack weapons.
[martial bugle call] Attenhut!
It’s time to heed the call to adventure!
[whoops]
[all cheering] Good morning, my fellow Outcasts!
So wonderful to see your bright and shining faces.
The buses are already here.
Be careful loading those coffins.
Number one, look out for each other.
Number two, have fun!
This is my last taste of civilization for two whole days.
I’ll get a venti furraccino, two pumps chocolate, one pump strawberry, and an extra pump of steak sauce, please.
Guess you weren’t ready to commit to anything.
[uneasy] Hey.
I know you like to change your mind about outfits until the last minute.
[sighs] Yeah, I’ve been trying to work really hard on my over packing addiction, but so far I’ve failed miserably.
Let me give you a hand.
No worries. I got this.
[Capri] Miss Sinclair.
A word?
Thank you.
[barista growls] Let’s catch up at the campgrounds.
Sure. Sounds like a plan.
Looked like you needed some help.
We’re going to need to go over some ground rules with everyone, since someone decided to schedule a camping trip during a full moon.
Mr. TudorPole!
Oh my God, yes!
You decided to come. [sighs] We’re gonna have so much fun.
Tamp down the exuberance.
This is merely a cover for my ongoing murder investigation.
A Wednesday slaycation.
[yelps, sighs] Scram, psycho, before my claws slip.
Don’t get your fur balls in a snarl.
I’m assisting Wednesday.
I managed to triangulate the exact coordinates of the cabin.
It’s a brisk 30minute hike from our camp.
I took the liberty of plotting multiple routes.
She tried to kill me, remember?
Yes, but she failed, which proves she’s only an amateur.
Ouch.
I… I deserved that.
Take my pack.
Secure me a window seat.
I’ll be sleeping with one eye open.
Don’t bother, pup.
You wouldn’t see me coming anyway.
[scoffs] Ms. Addams, I was glad to see your lastminute addition to our adventure.
Why the change of heart?
In my experience, someone always dies in the woods.
Perhaps we’ll get lucky.
[chuckles]
[“I Walked with a Zombie” playing]
♪ I walked with a zombie ♪
♪ I walked with a zombie ♪
♪ I walked with a zombie ♪
♪ Last night ♪
[groovy folk rock playing]
♪ I walked with a zombie ♪
♪ I walked with a zombie ♪
♪ I walked with a zombie ♪
♪ Last night ♪
[song trails off] Despite my attempts to exsanguinate, you’re not completely bloodless.
Sis, what… what’s up?
What’s with the vampire coffin?
Uh…
I used it to smuggle signal flares and gasoline.
You know, for the forest fire?
You mean campfire.
Wh… Whatever. As long as something burns.
[Slurp snarls, whimpers]
[car horn tooting Chopin’s funeral march]
[sweeping, morbid music swells]
[Gomez] Hello, my pernicious prodigy.
Don’t you find the smell of fresh air positively nauseating? [chuckling] To what do we owe this ghastly apparition?
[Gomez] The call went out for parent chaperones, and I’ve spent my fair share of time under nature’s canopy.
You know the concrete jungle doesn’t count.
What’s she doing here?
Her idea of “communing with nature” is deadheading roses in the greenhouse.
[Gomez] I thought we’d make it a family affair.
Pugsley and I can engage in some father and son bonding.
Uh, no… no thanks, Dad.
I… I think I’m going to stick with Eugene.
Lurch, can you give me a hand?
[Lurch lows] Maybe you two could work it out.
[adventurous music playing]
[jauntily macabre music playing] You have the look of a predator.
Allow me to be your helpless prey.
Not now, caro mio.
Tish, I hate seeing you so out of sorts. Maybe you should give Wednesday the book.
I know your instinct is to give in to her, but we can’t.
I can deal with the venomous resentment, but I won’t lose her.
And darling, I need your full support.
[quirky, lively music playing]
[Eugene] Thanks for setting up the tent.
Out here, the world’s my terrarium.
What’s with the bottle rockets?
Early warning system.
For what?
[rapid thumping]
[Eugene yelps] What’s Slurp doing here?
It’s like you said. We couldn’t leave him on his own.
So you brought him camping in the woods with all our classmates?
Relax. If he tries to escape, we’ll know.
That’s it. I’ll bunk with the other guys.
I’m not sleeping with a zombie.
Zombies don’t sleep. Duh.
[Gomez] Hello?
Hello, boys. I come bearing gifts.
[chuckles] So, your mother packed some homemade trail mix.
Extra earthworms, bugs, dirt, toenails.
Everything you’d find on the trail.
Cool. Thanks.
[muffled growling] Just my stomach.
Good timing with the snacks.
So, are you going to invite me in so I can inspect your tent?
No… No.
Eugene just let one rip.
Yeah, it smells like someone died in there.
So, if you get in trouble, remember the first rule of camping.
Leave no trace.
[whispers] Especially the bodies.
[stilted, anxious laughter] Good one, Mr. Addams.
For the next two days, Camp Jericho is now known as…
Camp Outcast!
[Dort whoops] This is a new annual tradition at Nevermore.
A wilderness retreat that promotes community building, team spirit, and most importantly…
Outcast pride!
Yes!
At Camp Outcast, there are no cell phones.
And no Normies for miles.
[whistle blowing shrilly]
[stern voice] Incorrect!
I beg to differ with your last point.
Ron Kruger, Phoenix cadet master.
I reserved this campground six months ago for my annual Camp CLAW.
Cadets… what does CLAW mean?
[cadets] Camping, learning, adventure, wilderness!
We have a signed contract.
Which means you need to pack your tents and vacate the woods immediately.
Well, I also have a contract signed by the camp’s owner.
Old Jack. Yeah, he retired to Orlando.
His sons run the business now.
Must have doublebooked.
Sounds like Normie incompetence.
Well, see you around, Sarge.
I’ve been preparing these boys for the last 364 days for my ultimate wilderness challenge.
That is happening this weekend!
Cadets, help them pack and load.
Outcast taillights at 1600 hours.
[cadets] Sir, yes, sir!
[air horn blaring]
[cheekily sinister music playing] If you and your deadeyed drones want this campground so badly, then fight us for it.
Excuse me?
Winner takes all. Loser goes home.
[Dort] I like the sound of that.
Unless you and your boys are not up for the challenge.
Okay, pigtails.
We speak the same language.
What are you proposing?
In an unexpected change to our schedule, I am announcing the first Cadets vs. Outcast color war.
Each side will have their own team zephyr, designed by our DaVinci students.
[Kruger] The rules of engagement are simple. The teams will comprise of up to ten members. They will be divided into defenders and attackers. The defenders will hold the other side’s zephyr hostage. The attackers are allowed to recapture the zephyr by any means necessary.
[Dort] Once a team has reclaimed their zephyr, they will fire a flare. Then it’s a race to the finish, across Ciderback Falls, back here to the lookout tower. The first team to place their zephyr on the tripod at the top wins. You have five minutes to select your teammates.
Guess the Nightshades are back.
Bruno and I want in.
[Eugene] So do I.
Ah, man.
I’m sorry. This is a Nightshadesonly team.
But, sure. Go ahead.
So what’s the plan?
Well, we can guard the zephyr.
I’ll stone and you can siren anyone who gets near us.
The rest of us will be on the attack.
[Kruger] Good luck, freaks!
[Wednesday] I only traded my bed for a tent to find Galpin’s cabin. A troop of testosteronefueled jarheads is not compromising that mission. Noah, Dylan, Griffin, Jasper.
You’re gonna form a perimeter.
Don’t let those freaks get through.
Sir, yes, sir!
[Kruger] I’ve hidden some unsanctioned military supplies to even the odds.
Bailey, you’ll lead our strike squad.
Victory is the only acceptable outcome.
Sir, yes, sir!
Defeat is not an option.
[cadets] Sir, yes, sir!
I don’t hear you!
Sir, yes, sir!
[crowd clamoring]
[Enid] Good luck, guys!
[team member] Ajax, this way.
Attack squad, split off.
Yes, sir. Let’s go!
[spirited, patriotic music playing] Focus, cadet.
Yes, sir!
I can’t siren them while they’re wearing headphones.
Aim for the gorgon’s beanie.
[distressing music intensifies] No.
Close your eyes!
I got it! Fire the flare!
Come on!
[whoops]
[flare whistling, crackling] Green flare. The cadets got their zephyr.
[grouses] Come on!
[cadet] Yeah!
[cheering continues] Call in the hounds.
[distressing music continues] Come on!
[Bruno] Watch out!
It’s tear gas!
[Enid, Bruno coughing]
[cadet laughing] Signal air support.
[“Ride of the Valkyries” playing]
[bold, imposing classical music playing]
[cadets exclaiming]
[muffled grunting, groaning]
[cadet] Get it… Get it off!
[scream echoing]
[triumphant horns resounding]
[Wednesday] Takes more than chemical warfare to bring tears to my eyes.
[music crescendos, halts] Purple flare! Wednesday got the zephyr!
Yes! [laughs]
[adventurous music playing] But Wednesday’s so far behind.
[cadet] Come on!
Come on, come on!
Come on, let’s go.
Whoo, yeah!
[Enid panting] What’s the plan?
What? Come on.
Come on, let’s go.
Yeah!
[Dort whoops]
[crowd exclaims]
[triumphant music surges]
[music swells, trails off]
[Wednesday] Galpin’s cabin’s approximately two and a half miles east from the camp.
Be on alert for our blackwinged tormentor’s return.
If we leave now, we can get back before anyone realizes we’ve gone.
Joining the campfire festivities this evening, Ms. Addams?
I usually enjoy cruel and unusual punishments. Not tonight.
Most people would have FOMO.
“Fear of missing out.”
I have FOBI. “Fear of being included.”
Well…
I just wanted to say thank you for standing up to those normies.
For someone who professes to be antisocial, you accomplished in one afternoon what a thousand trust exercises never could.
So thank you.
[Kruger] I’ve got one word for your performance today.
Pathetic!
Sir, yes, sir!
You got outplayed by a pintsized teenage Outcast!
A female, no less!
How does that make you feel?
The correct answer is worthless!
Thank you for your valuable feedback, sir!
You’ve been crushed… and humiliated in battle.
But a phoenix always rises in defeat!
Tonight, we recapture Camp Jericho!
Sir, yes, sir!
[acoustic cover of “Bad Moon Rising” playing]
[Capri] ♪ I see the bad moon arising ♪
Thank you.
♪ I see trouble on the way ♪
♪ I see earthquakes and lightnin’ ♪
♪ I see bad times today ♪
♪ Don’t go ’round tonight ♪
♪ Well, it’s bound to take your life ♪
[Capri, Morticia] ♪ There’s a bad moon on the rise ♪
♪ I hear hurricanes ablowing ♪
♪ I know the end is coming soon ♪
♪ I fear the river’s overflowing ♪
♪ I hear the voice of rage and ruin ♪
Every mirror has a dark side.
[dark, suspenseful music playing] Patricia Redcar.
Bronte Wigan.
Julian Meiojas.
These are all Outcast obituaries.
Some died more than 15 years ago.
All Willow Hill patients.
“Lois.”
If she’s the one targeting Outcasts, Enid could be her next victim.
[jittery audio distortion]
[exhales] Goody’s book is the only way to get my ability back. I’ve asked nicely. It’s time to try something more pointed.
[Capri, Morticia] ♪ Well, it’s bound to take your life ♪
♪ There’s a bad moon on the rise ♪
♪ The rise ♪
♪ Oh, there’s a bad moon ♪
♪ On the rise ♪
[group cheering] Thank you.
You have a beautiful voice, Mrs. Addams.
Oh.
I usually only sing at funerals.
[Bianca gulps] Oh! [Dort chuckles] Is this an impromptu fundraising meeting?
No.
But I did reach out to my mother.
Oh!
Um, I know that she hasn’t been an active donor for many years now.
Were you able to convince her to reconsider?
She didn’t take my call.
Well, perhaps we could invite her to campus.
Facetoface is always better.
It sounds like you have a complicated relationship.
Oh, she’s very uncomplicated.
She likes to manipulate every situation, and I refuse to play her game.
Well, look around you, Mrs. Addams. This is what Nevermore is about.
You think you could maybe set aside your differences and extend an olive branch?
Mama would only accept hemlock.
Hmm.
After we cage the pups, we’re gonna sneak down to the lake for a midnight swim. You in?
[Enid chuckles softly]
[Ajax] How long have we been broken up?
I know that gorgons can be kind of slow, but I guess I just didn’t want to believe it.
You’re right, Ajax.
I should have told you when school started that my feelings had changed.
Was it something that I did?
No.
Just, over the summer, I realized I wasn’t that insecure girl who thought she’d never fit in.
But I like that girl.
I know.
And she wolfed out. And found herself.
You never gave me a headsup.
I wish we could have just talked about it before you…
before you moved on without me.
I’m really sorry.
I just didn’t expect things with Bruno to heat up so fast.
You remember that day in Uriah’s Heap?
I guess squirrels and rats can’t work out after all.
[delicate, plaintive music playing] I kinda feel bad for that gorgon.
[cadet] Me too.
Let’s move out.
[plucky, patriotic music playing]
[music trails off]
[Morticia humming]
[stops humming] Wednesday, you missed all the campfire activities.
Then my timing is perfect.
Are you here to talk?
We don’t solve anything in this family with words.
We do it with deeds.
Most of them dirty.
Case in point, your theft of Goody’s book.
I’m giving you one last chance to return it to me.
You know I won’t do that.
Then you leave me no choice.
I’m challenging you to a dueloaciegas.
You want to cross blades in a blind duel?
I feel your grand mama’s bony fingerprints all over this gambit.
I know you two have been talking.
She used to pit me against Ophelia in the same way.
This has nothing to do with Grandmama.
It has to do with you crossing boundaries.
We duel tonight, under the full moon.
Do you accept my challenge?
There’s my little landmine.
[Gomez chuckling] Darling, Wednesday and I are going to sword fight in the woods and settle our differences.
[gasps] Music to my ears.
I’m going to shower in one of the rustic stalls.
Have fun.
[Gomez chuckling]
[Kruger] Secure this outer perimeter of tents first.
Tie up the Outcasts using your superior knotting skills.
Sir, we don’t think this is such a good idea.
They did win fair and square.
[scoffs] Who the hell told you to think? That’s how you get killed.
Your survival depends on following orders.
My orders.
Watch and observe.
It’s all about stealth and surprise.
Go! Go! Go!
You boys are with me.
[Kruger] Hut, hut, hut…
[fireworks crackling]
[grunts]
[snarls]
[patriotic music playing]
[all screaming]
[bellows]
[shrieks]
[fleshy crunch]
[horrified yelling] Slurp.
Slurp.
[chuckles] That’s my boy.
El dueloaciegas is a very old Addams tradition.
The outcome of this duel shall be binding.
I’m aware of the consequences.
Thing will be our witness.
I figured it’s best to keep it within the family.
On that we agree.
[keen rasping] Whoever pierces the other’s glass heart first wins.
If I win, you return Goody’s book.
And if I win…
I will burn it.
[tantalizing flamenco guitar playing] Are you sure you want to do this?
[tinkling]
[Eugene] I knew we should’ve told someone.
Slurp was more your friend anyway.
Harboring a murderous zombie will get both your butts expelled for sure.
Ugh.
What are you doing here?
Proving myself to your sister by handling her lowpriority tasks.
Like keeping you alive.
[Pugsley scoffs] We need to find Slurp.
No way.
I’m out of the zombie business.
Relax. Slurp never tried to eat my brain.
Because that would be empty calories.
Look, the last time I was alone with a monster in the woods, I ended up in a coma.
Stop bragging.
[foils ringing]
[tantalizing music continuing] You’re getting rusty, Mother. I can practically hear you creak.
[rich chuckle] Still bringing a knife to a sword fight?
Mmm.
You taught me everything I know.
But I didn’t teach you everything I know.
[dreadful music booming]
[sensuous bolero music playing faintly]
[“Bésame Mucho” playing]
♪ Bésame ♪
[singing along to record] ♪ Bésame mucho ♪
♪ Como si fuera esta noche ♪
♪ La última vez ♪
♪ Bésame mucho ♪
Patience, corazón ardiente.
[laughs indulgently] The country air made somebody frisky.
[chuckling] Ohho, ooh…
Ooh!
Oh!
Oh, you are a tigress tonight.
Axe play…
[rich laughter] Let me get…
Oh! Whoa!
No, Slurp! Not my dad!
♪ …mucho ♪
♪ Que ten go miedo perderte ♪
Whoa.
♪ Perderte… ♪
Let me through. Let me through.
What happened?
♪ Amor… ♪
[crowd screaming]
[Dort] Go! Get back in your tents! Run!
[singer holds final note]
[song halts]
[eerie, suspenseful music playing]
[raspy snarling]
[dramatic, intense music playing]
[fragments tinkling] I’m sorry, darling.
[breathing steadily]
[measured inhale]
[Wednesday] Teenage zombies, sanctimonious scout masters…
[dark, lush instrumental cover of “Losing My Religion” playing] Camping is even more savage than I imagined. Turns out nature doesn’t bring us together. It rips us apart. It devours the weak, leaving the strong to stumble on. Defeated by my mother. Robbed of Goody’s book. Drained of my ability.
[crow caws]
[Wednesday] I am no closer to saving Enid. I’m exposed to a predator that’s always watching. Hiding in plain sight. Waiting for the right time to strike. Time is running out on this investigation. Why was Galpin keeping track of deceased Outcasts? Who is Lois? And how is she tied to Enid’s impending death? Two roads diverge in the woods. I must take the road less travelled. And that road leads to Willow Hill. Dr. Fairburn, the transfer is here. I put them in 3989.
I want extra security on this one.
They’re extremely dangerous. Responsible for at least two homicides.
I’m authorizing 24hour surveillance monitoring.
We can take absolutely no chances.
Welcome to Willow Hill.
[jauntily macabre outro music playing]
[music ends]
