The Chair Company
Creators: Tim Robinson, Zach Kanin
Stars: Tim Robinson (William Ronald “Ron” Trosper), Lake Bell (Barb Trosper), Sophia Lillis (Natalie Trosper), Will Price (Seth Trosper), Joseph Tudisco (Mike Santini)
Season 1 – Episode 8
Episode title: Minnie Mouse coming back wasn’t on my bingo card.
Original release date: November 30, 2025 (HBO)
Plot: After a wedding, a young boy approaches a Hollywood producer named Stacy Crystals, accuses him of ruining his father’s life, and fatally shoots him with a 3D printed gun. Ron spends his time off work reconnecting with his family. During an HR meeting, Jeff’s ego is bruised by the discussion of Ron physically overpowering him, and decides to invite Ron for drinks to smooth things over. Mike visits Ron at home and is angered when Ron tells him the investigation is over. Ron tries to visit Mike’s daughter, Lynette, to help them reconnect, but is rebuffed by her aunt. Ron takes their new dog for a walk, she escapes and Ron chases her, and discovers she has made her way to her former owner’s house. Ron meets Jeff at a karaoke bar, when Jeff plays one of his original songs for Ron, he recognizes the melody and the voice from the RBMG hold music. Ron hurries back to his employer’s building and searches Jeff’s office, finding a secret compartment with paperwork naming Jeff and Stacy Crystals as the real officers of RBMG. Ron arrives home to find Lynette waiting for him, she tells him that her real father died and donated his organs, with Mike receiving his heart. The family invited Mike to walk Lynette down the aisle for her wedding, but Mike became increasingly obsessed with the family causing them to get a restraining order. Ron receives another phone call from an unknown man who has been harassing him, this time offering to meet at Ron’s high school gymnasium. He arrives and finds the same man wearing the mask who was seen on his security camera. The man reveals himself to be Ron’s co-worker Amanda’s boyfriend, and claims that the recent events were all set in motion by an embarrassing situation between Ron and Amanda back when they were both in high school, which Amanda has never forgotten. The man then claims that Amanda is the one who made Ron’s chair collapse using telekinesis.
Making Sense of ‘The Chair Company’s’ Unhinged Finale
* * *
The Chair Company – S01E08 – Minnie Mouse coming back wasn’t on my bingo card. | Full transcript
[♪ Upbeat music playing]
[♪ String music playing]
[♪ Funk music playing]
[Wedding Emcee] It is time! For the daddy-daughter dance with Juniper. And where’s Dad?
[Juniper] Where’s Dad?
[Guest] He’s not feeling good. He had ten cigars.
♪ Working too late but you never complained ♪
♪ And we never went without ♪
[crowd gasps]
[Dad] I’m okay. Okay. Okay.
♪ I was just five, but in your hazel eyes ♪
♪ I never saw any doubt ♪
[crowd gasping]
[Dad] One more whiskey, please.
[Bartender] You need a break, sir.
[Stacy Crystals] Uh, another whiskey?
[♪ Muffled dance music playing]
[Stacy Crystals sighs]
[glass clanking]
[Stacy Crystals] I hope you don’t mind. [laughing] Yeah, I overheard you read that poem for your daughter. I mean, who was that? Is it, uh, is it Frost? William Carlos Williams?
[Dad] It’s me. I wrote it.
[Stacy] What? [scoffs] Am I crazy, or did that kinda have a chorus in it?
[Dad] Yeah, it’s a song.
[Stacy] Wow! I mean, that thing could probably be a hit. No, no, no, you look at Sabrina Carpenter. I mean, these songs are popular. I mean, you know who’s writing ’em? Older guys.
[Dad] [chuckles] Well, I do sing my own songs.
[Stacy] Really? You ever get out to L.A.?
[Dad] Mm, once. Just to see Mickey. And we had a special pass so I could cut the kids.
[Stacy] Whoa, whoa, whoa. Amazing. The only people I know who get that kind of a pass are in movies.
[Dad] You know people in movies?
[Stacy] Oh, yeah.
[Dad] I own a sheet metal company. It’s kind of a big deal around here.
[Stacy] Oh, shit! You’re writing those kinds of songs and… and you run a sheet metal company? [laughing] Hey, I just thought of something. Uh, next time you’re in L.A., I have some guys I know, studio musicians, that I’m sure would love to hear what you’ve got. Drop me a line. I would love to know what else is in your arsenal. [laughing]
[phone buzzes]
[Stacy] Yeah. Speak. I don’t know. I mean, the guy might be too dumb. I mean, I don’t think he understood anything I said to him. I don’t know, I… I have no idea. I don’t understand.
[Kid] Are you Stacy Crystals?
[Stacy] Uh, can I help you, kid?
[Kid] You wrecked my dad’s life.
[gunshot]
[guests screaming]
[♪ Gentle music playing]
♪
[♪ gentle music continues playing]
[Ron] Barb.
[Barb] Mmhmm?
[Ron] Come on, don’t you wanna grab the day? First day with the money.
[Barb] Mm. [chuckles] I’m so tired, Ron. I think I drank too much at, um, Alice’s house last night.
[Ron] You’re being silly. You were just too happy.
[Barb] Gosh, and… and George too.
[Ron] Mmhmm.
[Barb] He was like, um, God, he was like blackout.
[Ron] George is a cutup.
[both chuckle]
[Ron] Barb, I’m gonna spend the day trying to get my job back.
[Barb] Mm.
[Ron] I’m gonna do everything I can to make everything easy for you.
[Barb] Honey.
[Ron] I just… All I want is you to be happy.
[Barb] Thank you. You know, I was actually thinking about it. I was like, maybe you don’t go back. Maybe you take this time to figure out, you know, what it is you do wanna do and what makes you happy.
[Ron] [chuckles softly]
[Barb] Yeah.
[Ron] Yeah. Yeah, that’s a good idea.
[♪ Blues music playing]
♪
[Diane] Sorry. The video we got from the RC guys was so long. Wait.
[Ron] Get your fucking little toy…
[Jeff] Hey, Ron?
[Diane] Here.
[Ron] …and get the fuck… what the fuck?! Hey!
[all groaning]
[Diane] There is the push. Our aim today is to decide whether we believe Ron experienced an isolated freak impulse, leading to him overpowering Jeff, or whether this speaks to a larger pattern of behavior.
[Douglas] [clearing throat] [clicking tongue] This is hard to do. Truly, I love sweet Ron. But everybody should have seen this coming. The job was always too much for him. He was floundering from day one. And, frankly, it… it was scary to watch. I don’t think he should be fired. Just… moved down three or four rungs. O-Or five.
[Alice Ray] What are we talking about? He almost threw Jeff down a hill like a rag doll. He can’t come back here.
[Alon] I agree with Alice. Ron could have really, really hurt Jeff. He’s lucky he didn’t do that to Ben, because Ben would have kicked his ass.
[laughter]
[executive] I’d actually beat Ben’s ass. He’s just gym-strong.
[Brenda] You couldn’t beat Ben, no way.
[executive] I could beat Ben because he’s just gym-strong.
[voice muffling, echoing]
[♪ Tense music building]
[phone buzzing]
[Ron] Hello?
[Natalie] I’ve been looking into the charges against Braccon. There’s some interesting things, and…
[Ron] Natalie. Natalie. It’s over.
[Natalie] What?
[Ron] We gotta drop it. I can’t say why, but we gotta stop.
[Natalie] Dad, we gotta figure this out. We’re so close.
[Ron] I did figure it out.
[Natalie] What? Oh, my God, what is it? Who is it?
[Ron] It might not be somebody I can say, maybe ever.
[Natalie] Why?
[Ron] Natalie, if I told you why, then you’d know who it was, okay? You’re gonna have to trust me on this one, okay? It’s really hard for me not to tell you, but that’s just the way it’s gotta be.
[Natalie] Just tell me.
[Ron] I wanna tell the whole world, but I just can’t.
[Natalie] But y-you can tell me.
[Ron] [groaning] I can’t, Natalie. I wanna tell the whole world.
[Natalie] I’ve been doing it with you.
[Ron] I know, and it’s been so fun. I’ve really loved this time together, I really have. It’s been a blast. Your ham trick? So good.
[Natalie] Well, thank God Wendy’s was doing Carvers, or else I wouldn’t have had that idea.
[Ron] [chuckles] You would have thought of something, Natalie. You can do anything. I love you a lot.
[Tara] You told your dad about Wendy’s Carvers?
[♪ light jazz music playing]
[Ron] Hey. Who threw my hat in the trash?
[Seth sobbing]
[Ron] Oh. Oh, Seth. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Seth. Seth, why are you… Seth, come here, come here, come here. Come on, buddy. What’s going on, bud? Just talk to me about anything.
[Seth] I don’t wanna play basketball anymore.
[Ron]I love that you play basketball. But if you don’t wanna play basketball, you don’t gotta.
[Seth] Really?
[Ron] No.
[Seth] I don’t know, it’s just my heart hasn’t been in it for, like, the last year. And I found something that I love so much more.
[Ron] You’re happy, you found something you love. That’s all I… I need to hear. I’m over the moon. [chuckles softly] What is it?
[Seth] [sighs] Stop-motion animation.
[Ron] Like Rudolph?
[Seth] I mean, it’s not all Christmas.
[Ron] I-I know, I’ve just seen the Christmas ones, and they’re always just, like, Santa can’t do it.
[Seth] Yeah. But I think I wanna go… go to RIS… RISD.
[Ron] Then, I think that’s what you should do.
[Seth] You sure?
[Ron] Yeah.
[Seth] ‘Cause I know you and Mom were really counting on me to get the basketball scholarship.
[Ron] Seth, don’t put that kind of pressure on yourself, okay? You don’t have to do that. That is not your job to do that.
[Seth sighs]
[Ron] Wherever you wanna go, Mom and I will figure it out.
[Seth sniffling]
[Ron] Sorry I haven’t really been around a lot, too. I was actually doing something. It was distracting me, but it was… it was really important.
[Seth] It’s okay.
[Ron] But, Seth, it was… it was something important. It was really important.
[Seth] What was it?
[Ron] [clicking tongue] I can’t tell you, pal, but trust me, you’d be proud of your old man.
[Seth] What?
[Ron] Unfortunately, nobody can ever know. ‘Cause if anybody knew, then somebody close to me who, uh, thinks they earned something that they didn’t earn on their own would find out, ’cause they only earned it because they were trying to stop me. That’s the only reason they got it. So, I earned it for them.
[Seth] What? You’re being so fucking weird. [screaming]
[Ron] Hey!
[Brenda] While we’re deciding, we’re going to need someone to take over Ron’s responsibilities.
[Diane] I put together a list of candidates in the right tier.
[Jeff] I… I don’t know. It’s not that complicated. Let’s just… hold off for a second.
[door closes]
[birdsong]
[Ron] I’m the only one out here who knows they’re doing something.
I’m telling. I’m telling. I’m telling, telling, telling, telling, telling, telling, telling, telling, telling, telling, telling, telling, telling, telling, telling…
[Ron] gasping]
[phone buzzes]
[Ron] Hello?
[Jeff] Hey. Ron. Uh, I know there’s a lot going on, but I think you and I could hash this thing out over a beer. I mean, we’ll have a nice dustup, and maybe we figure out a way for you to come back here.
[Ron] I appreciate that, Jeff, but I think I need a little more time to figure out what my next move’s gonna be.
[Jeff] Next move?
[Ron] Yeah, I gotta think about what’s good for me and my family.
[Jeff] [laughing] Uh… Ron, you’ve embarrassed yourself a lot here at Fisher Robay. But you finish this mall, and you, uh, you get to be part of something that’s historic. Something that, uh, that… that you’ll be known for after you’re gone. But if you don’t care about that… good luck, I guess.
[Ron] I’ll think about it, Jeff.
[Alice] [voice echoing] Go out and tell. Go out and tell. [distorting] Go out and tell. Go out and tell. I don’t think you’re gonna do it, Ron. I don’t think you’re gonna do it, Ron. I don’t think you’re gonna do it, Ron.
[Ron] [voice echoing] I’m telling.
[Ron sighs]
[line ringing]
[operator] “Columbus Herald” Tipline. Hello?
[Ron] Would you ever consider running a story that’s like a corporate political fraud thriller? Like an embezzlement thriller that doesn’t name any names and doesn’t use any real specifics?
[phone thuds]
[Ron] What the hell are you doing? Don’t do this. Oh, shit.
[phone buzzing]
[buzzing continues]
[Ron] Hello?
[operator] Hello, is this Ron Trosper?
[Ron] Yeah, who’s this?
[operator] This is the “Columbus Herald” Tipline.
[Ron] H-How did you…
[operator] Look, we’re really interested in the story you were offering. Would you have any interest in meeting with us? Even… even if it’s off the record?
[Ron] No. No, don’t call me back, ever! How… how do you know my name?
[operator] Uh, through the caller ID.
[Ron] You shouldn’t have that. That’s dangerous!
[operator] Look, Mr. Trosper, if you’re aware of a public crime, it’s your responsibility to…
[Ron] I’m not. I’m not, I’m not, I’m not, I’m not, I’m not, I’m not!
[operator] Mr. Trosper, I’d just like to ask you a few questions.
[Ron] This is not Mr. Trosper. This is a kid, this is a prank. I’m home alone at a sleepover, and we’re terribly behaved boys. [screaming]
[Ron] Don’t pull. Don’t pull, that’s right. Very good.
[car engine shutting off]
[car door closes]
[Mike] What the fuck? You don’t answer my calls? You asked me to keep Braccon at the bar. I didn’t know what to do. W-What was I gonna do?
[Ron] I’m sorry, Mike, something happened.
[Mike] What?
[Ron] We’re just gonna have to drop this. It’s over.
[Mike] What are you talking about? I’ve never done anything good in my whole life, and then finally, this is something good. This is something where… where… w-where they’re not gonna laugh at my grave, and people aren’t gonna sing a song when I die.
[Ron] What?
[Mike] Scrooge. Scrooge. That really scared me.
[♪ Christmas choir singing]
[Mike] They… they were singing a song and dancing on his coffin. And Scrooge, see, he didn’t know that they were celebrating that he had died when he was seeing it. Then he saw the coffin and he went, “Uh-oh.” So, if I get myself on the front page of the papers because I took down a big company… then they’re not gonna celebrate when I die. And now, they might.
[Ron] I’m sorry.
[Mike] Bullshit! I don’t believe you’re done. You, you… you’re crazy about this thing.
[Ron] I’m done.
[Mike] Fine. Then you can go back to your little fancy job and go to your family.
[Ron] Mike, you can go back to your family.
[♪ Choir continues]
[Mike] Fuck you, Ron.
♪ Tidings of comfort and joy ♪
[engine starting, revving]
[knocking]
[Lynette’s Aunt] Can I help you?
[Ron] Hi, uh, I’m looking for Lynette. Does Lynette live here?
[Lynette’s Aunt] Oh, she’s at work, but I’m her aunt.
[Ron] I am, uh, I’m a friend of her dad’s. Yeah, I became friends with Mike recently, but I just wanted to tell Lynette something that he did. This really, really, really good thing that he helped me with…
[Lynette’s Aunt] Listen, you don’t know anything about that man.
[Ron] Yeah, I know that he does some bad…
[Lynette’s Aunt] Go.
[Barb] Tell me… tell me what happened then.
[Natalie] I don’t know, she just flipped out on me. She was so angry.
[Barb] Mmhmm.
[Ron] Hey, what’s going on?
[Barb] Tara and Natalie got into an argument.
[Ron] Oh, no. Why?
[Natalie] Because I told you about fucking Wendy’s Carvers.
[Ron] Natalie, that’s crazy.
[Natalie] She signed an NDA. She can get in a lot of trouble.
[Ron] I’m not gonna tell anybody Wendy’s is doing a nicer ham restaurant.
[Natalie] It doesn’t matter. It’s just that now, she says she doesn’t trust me.
[Barb] Aw.
[Natalie] She has trust issues ’cause she had an ex that cheated on her. I don’t wanna talk about this anymore.
[Barb] Okay.
[Natalie] It doesn’t matter.
[Barb] Alright. Yeah, honey, just help her with this.
[Ron] I’m trying to help her, Barb.
[Barb] Okay.
[Ron] She’s doing it herself.
[Barb] Okay, that’s…
[Ron] Natalie. Natalie. This isn’t because you were helping me out with the mystery, is it? ‘Cause that’s good. That helps people.
[Natalie] Look, Dad, leave me alone.
[♪ Ominous music playing]
[Ron] Baby, no, no! That’s not yours, that’s chocolate! Oh, fuck.
[Ron] Come on, gotta go faster. You need to sweat out the chocolate. It’s important to sweat all that chocolate out. Come on, a little faster. We gotta go a little faster.
[phone buzzing]
[Ron] [muttering] Hold on, hold on, excuse me.
[Baby barking]
[Ron] No, Baby! Baby!
[birdsong]
[birdsong continues]
[spitting]
[Ron] Baby? Baby!
[resident] Hi there.
[Ron] Hi, I’m… I’m sorry. I was just looking for my dog.
[resident] That’s my dog. She’s been missing. Someone stole her just right from the yard.
[Ron] What? Oh, my God. I am… I’m so sorry. I just bought her. I’ve been taking good care of her. I’m… I’m glad Baby found her way home.
[resident] Baby? Her name is Minnie Mouse. Come here. Come here. I want to show you something. Come on, come on, come on. [chuckles nervously]
[Ron] In the shed?
[resident] Right in there. Come on.
[Ron] What is this? What are we looking…
[resident] Take a look at that. It’s a brand-new shape. Never been done before.
[Ron] [scoffs] Really? Oh, yeah. It’s really beautiful. I’ve never seen anything like that before.
[resident growling]
[Ron] Oh, my God!
[Baby panting]
[resident] I saw that you got a pretty bad bump on the head there. Are you okay?
[Ron] Yeah, I think so.
[resident] I really do appreciate you getting my dog back.
[Ron] I’m glad she’s home.
[resident] Me too.
[Ron] Could you post on Instagram and Facebook that I saved your dog? Yeah, just take a picture and then tag me and say, “This guy saved my dog. I was really worried about her.”
[resident] I can do that. Alright.
[camera clicking]
[resident] Oh, that’s a good one.
[Ron] Oh, thank you.
[camera clicking]
[resident] There we go. Aww.
[camera clicking]
[phone buzzing]
[Ron] Hello?
[heavy breathing on phone]
[Ron] I’m not doing it anymore. Talk to Alice. I’m done!
[voice] Who’s Alice?
[Ron] What?
[voice] Who’s Alice?
[Ron] You’re not with Alice?
[voice] No.
[Ron] You’re not with Alice?!
[Ron] Barb can find that money somewhere else.
[Jeff] You get to be part of something that’s historic.
[Seth] I wanna go to RISD.
[Ron] We don’t even know if Everpump’s gonna work, even with the money.
[Seth] I know that everyone was counting on me to get the basketball scholarship.
[Barb] Figure out what makes you happy.
[phone buzzing]
[♪ Tense music building]
[Ron] For school?
[email beeping]
[line ringing]
[Jeff] Ron.
[Barb] Ooh. Hey, Ron, you going out?
[Ron] Yeah, is that okay?
[Barb] I know why you’re in a bad mood.
[Ron] I’m in a good mood.
[Barb] Look, George told me, you know. He said that he told you that I know all about, you know, what you’re trying to figure out.
[Ron] Yeah, just, George told me that you had figured it out, and I just wanna…
[Barb] Yeah, and actually, I… I wanna let you know that I am very sorry that I made fun of it.
[Ron] What?
[Barb] I also said that you’re so smart and you can do anything. And, you know, I thought, what is he doing even, running around like this dumb detective? I just… I was frustrated, Ron. I was very frustrated. And that’s what I said, and I didn’t mean anything of it.
[Ron] That’s what you said?
[Barb] Ron, I’m telling you, I wasn’t trying to make fun of you.
[Ron] That’s fine, I don’t care.
[Barb] Okay, listen. I think it was cute. I think you were having a lot of fun…
[Ron] I said I don’t give a shit, okay? I don’t care.
[Barb] Okay. Just letting you know. I love you.
[Ron] Bye.
[Barb] Where is Baby?
♪ Hold the line ♪
♪ Love isn’t always on time ♪
♪ Whoa ♪
[Jeff] Hey, Ron. Come on.
[sighs]
[Jeff] This is my friend Grego. He’s in town for the night.
[Rob] Uh, I thought we were just talking work stuff tonight.
[Jeff] We’re just chilling out, having a night, having a sesh.
[Grego] What are you drinking?
[Rob] Uh, just a beer, please.
[Grego] I’ll get you a tequila. No lime. I hope you ate something greasy, because we’re going hard.
[karaoke singer] ♪ It’s not in the way you look ♪
♪ Or the things that you say that you’ll do ♪
♪ Hold the line ♪
[Grego] He’s the real deal.
[Rob] He seems cool.
♪ I’m winning ♪
[Grego] Harley go-go munchkin, the little dime, went well.
[Jeff] [laughing] Fuck off.
[Grego] I swear to God. I’m dead serious.
[Jeff] Holy shit.
[Grego] What about you, Ron? You probably got some crazy stories.
[Ron] Oh, no, I… I don’t know if I have anything as crazy as that, geez!
[Grego] I bet you got something. You look crazy.
[Ron] I don’t think I look crazy.
[Grego] Tell me something!
[Jeff] [laughing] Alright. Hey, Grego, relax, man. Ron’s actually got it all figured out. You and me, we’re the ones who are fucked up. Ron, he’s content with a nice, simple life. He doesn’t need to be constantly searching for thrills.
[Ron] You know, actually, I did something recently that was… really fucking crazy.
[Grego] Ooh. Let’s hear it!
[Jeff] [laughing] Ron! Alright, maybe you are fucked up.
[Ron] I don’t know if I should tell.
[Jeff] Hey, Ron, Ron. Code of silence.
[Grego] Stop being a tease, Rob.
[people clapping]
[Rob] Alright. This is fucking crazy.
[host] Next up is Jeff Levjman. Jeff Levjman?
[Jeff] Yeah, yeah, I’m coming. Uh, hold that thought, Ron, ’cause I wanna hear that story.
[Jeff] Yeah, here I am.
[♪ “Livin’ It Up” by Bill LaBounty playing]
[Jeff sighs]
♪ I finally got my life together ♪
♪ Scraped my heart up off the floor ♪
♪ My attitude is so much better ♪
♪ And I hardly ever cry the way I did before ♪
♪ I’ve been living it up ♪
♪ Having myself a time ♪
♪ Living it up… ♪
[Jeff] What… what version is this?
[host] What?
[Jeff] What version of this song is this? ‘Cause the key is all fucked up.
[host] It’s just the regular version.
[Jeff] I wanna do a new song.
[host] I don’t know what to tell you.
[Jeff] I want to pick another song!
[host] You gotta get back in line.
[Jeff] Nobody minds. Everyone wants everyone to get to do what they wanna do.
[host] If you wanna sing another song, put your name back on the list.
[Jeff] Fine, fine. That’s what I’m doing. Fine, I’m back on the list.
[Jeff] Fuckin’ asshole, I had to put my name back in. Ron, I can do way better than that. When it’s in my range, when it’s a song that I wrote, I can sail, man.
[Grego] Speakers here are shit.
[Jeff] No, actually, the speakers are okay. Here, check out this track. This is what I can do when it’s mine.
[♪ Music playing faintly through phone]
[Ron] [chuckles] Wow. Wow, I see what you mean. This is… this is awesome.
[Jeff] Yeah. Listen to the next one. Listen to ’em all. I can sing, man.
[Ron] This is you?
[Jeff] Yeah, I sing all of ’em. I wrote all of ’em.
[host] Jeff Levjman, let’s do this again.
[Jeff] [scoffs] Fucking asshole.
[♪ Music continues faintly on phone]
[music stopping]
[♪ Music continues faintly]
♪ Red dress lady, beautiful ♪
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
[line ringing]
[operator] Thank you for calling Red Ball Market Global. Please hold for the next available agent.
♪ Red Ball ♪
♪ Lady beautiful ♪
♪ Worldwide services ♪
♪ National ♪
♪ Red dress lady beautiful ♪
♪ Worldwide services ♪
[whispering]
[Ron] It’s the same song. It’s the same voice.
[♪ Dramatic music playing]
[Jeff] Ron?
[♪ Dramatic music continues playing]
[Jeff] Maybe that Ron can help crack this. The Ron who’s not such a big dork.
[Ron] I’m not a dork. You’re a fucking dork, you evil piece of shit!
[Jeff] Could you please not lean on my wall? This is an office.
[Ron] [muttering indistinctly] I’ll lean wherever the fuck I want, asshole! I’ll lean wherever the hell I want!
[drawer thuds]
[Ron] Fucking hell. Oh, my God. Danny Donovan? What the fuck’s Jeff doing with a movie star? That’s cool. [spitting]
[♪ Dramatic music playing]
[Ron] Stacy Crystals. Where the hell is Alice? Where the hell’s Alice? Show me Alice! Stacy Crystals, Stacy Crystals, Stacy Crystals, Stacy Crystals, Stacy Crystals, Stacy Crystals.
[phone line ringing]
[Mike] Leave a message.
[Ron] Call me back as soon as you can. We’re not done. No one’s gonna laugh at your coffin. We’re gonna be goddamn heroes.
[woman] Are you Ron?
[Ron] Lynette? Are you, uh, looking for your dad?
[Lynette] Mike’s not my dad.
[Ron] What?
[Lynette] My dad died in a car accident. He was an organ donor, and Mike was the man who received his heart. When I got married, I was so upset my dad wouldn’t be able to attend my wedding. My mom had the idea to invite Mike to walk me down the aisle, ’cause in that way, my dad would be there in some way. It was a really beautiful moment. But then, Mike got mad that my mom wouldn’t hug him. She did hug him once, but he kept wanting more hugs. And he kept grabbing at his heart, saying, “I’m your husband.” And he became obsessed with the idea that he was my dad and that he was married to my mom. Everyone was so mean to him. I just felt sorry, so I tried to let him down easy, but then he read that the wrong way, and… he… he tried to kiss me. He said, “Maybe the heart doesn’t matter. Maybe we could still date. I’m attracted to you even more than I was your mom, ’cause you’re younger.” We had to get a restraining order. He’d still come. He’s… he’s… he’s a scary man. Don’t let him near your family. [sighs]
[Ron] I’m sorry.
[Lynette sobbing softly]
[Ron] [echoing] He’s family. That’s family. That’s my brother.
[Mike] [echoing] You said we were family. Maybe next time I’m coming to your house.
[phone buzzing]
[Ron] Who is this?!
[voice] You didn’t fall out of that chair by accident.
[Ron] Who are you?
[voice] Are you ready to meet me?
[thunder rumbling]
[♪ “The Finer Things” by Steve Winwood playing]
[♪ Soft music continues playing]
[Jeff] Slow down. Oh, my God. Stacy got shot? When? Does Danny know? Is he okay?
[Wazey Waynes] Driving a Cadillac, jerking my prick off at the same time. I get pulled over. I cum all over myself.
Oh, look at him, he’s trying to suck his own cock! You fucking pig! I’m choking my chicken, get off my ass.
[Natalie laughing]
[Barb] It’s great.
[Seth] Yeah.
♪ I will let you into my dreams ♪
[Barb] Oh. Seth, this is great! What a talent! Let’s watch it again.
♪ For time is a river rolling into nowhere ♪
♪ We must live while we can ♪
[♪ tense sting]
[Ron] You brought me to my old high school?
[man] Not just yours.
[Ron] What?
[man] Lots of kids went here. This was all set in motion when you were a boy.
[Ron] What are these?
[man] Put ’em above your head and look at ’em. Amanda’s birthday panties.
[Ron] Oh, God!
[man] It all started in high school, when you were trying to make the kids laugh by spitting a gummy bear in the air and catch it in your mouth. But you shot it too far and it landed in her cleavage. Amanda never stopped thinking about that. Something about it made her… crazy. That’s why she broke your chair. With her mind. I’ve seen her move things before, but those are mostly things she doesn’t care about that much, so they only move a little. A pencil. A bottle cap. A Tootsie roll. But now I know. When she wants something really bad… she can break it.
[Ron] Who are you?
[man] She’s my girlfriend, you dirty fucker! You did this! [screams]
♪ The finer things keep shining through ♪
♪ The way my soul gets lost in you ♪
♪ The finer things I feel in me ♪
♪ The golden dance life could be ♪
♪ I’ve been sad ♪
♪ And have walked bitter streets alone ♪
♪ And come morning ♪
♪ There’s a good wind to blow me home ♪
♪ So time be a river ♪
♪ Rolling into nowhere ♪
♪ I will live while I can ♪
♪ I will have my ever after ♪
♪ The finer things keep shining through ♪
♪ The way my soul gets lost in you ♪
