The Chair Company
Season 1 – Episode 5
Episode title: I won. Zoom in.
Original release date: November 9, 2025
Plot: Ron and Mike meet up with Steven Droyco where he claimed to have seen the CFO from Tecca’s website, Ken Tucker. This seems to be a dead end when it turns out to merely be the same actor used for a video game. Mike finds out the actor’s name, Oliver, from the game credits and they meet him in a bar to question him. He claims the Red Ball Global photo shoot was pitched as an acting exercise where they were instructed to play the parts of business executives. All three men get into conflicts with bar patrons and they escape to Oliver’s house where he has the photo shoot director’s emails on his iPad. The bar patrons track down Oliver’s address from the ID he left behind, show up at his apartment and begin to violently attack everyone. Ron is knocked out, and later given a ride home from the hospital by Mike, who stops on the way to unsuccessfully attempt to talk to his daughter. Mike declares that he and Ron are family, and he will help Ron without needing further payments.
* * *
The Chair Company – S01E05 – I won. Zoom in. | Full transcript
[♪ ominous music playing]
[drumming]
[Ron] Let’s get this greedy fucker.
[♪ dramatic music playing]
[♪ quirky game music playing]
[Steve Droyco] There he is! I knew I thought I’d seen that guy before!
[Ron] God damn it.
That’s where you saw Ken Tucker?
[Steve] Yeah, that’s where I know him from.
[chuckles]
That’s where I know him from.
[Ron] God damn it. Red Ball is a shell company.
What?
[Ron] So, he’s not the CFO. Those bios, they’re all fake. They just paid people to pretend like they were the board of the company. He’s a model. They’re all models. Shit. Oh, shit. What about those? What about your papers? What were you gonna do?
[Steven] It’s stupid. It’s stupid.
[Ron] Yeah, but what is it?
[Steven] Forget about it. It’s stupid.
Oh, my God.
[Ron] What is it?
She is gorgeous.
It was just a revenge plan I had. I was just so fucking mad at my boss.
[Ron] What was the plan?
In its perfect version, I was supposed to snatch his turds in the pipe after he flushed ’em so I could return ’em back to his desk–
[Ron] I can’t fucking hear you. You have to speak louder to me.
[softly] In its perfect version, I was supposed to snatch–
[Ron] You gotta speak louder, I can’t hear what you’re saying.
[louder] ‘Cause that would have fucked him up! Seeing something you did flushed down the toilet get returned back to you with the date and time you did it? That’s fucked up. You wouldn’t have any idea how that happened. [chuckles] You know, you’d be like, “Uh, something’s going on here.”
[Ron] Oh, my God.
Oh, yeah. I went there a few weeks ago to do a little test run but I got my fucking hand caught in a pipe. Ran out of there screaming.
[screaming]
[Ron] W-Why do you hate your boss so much?
‘Cause he told me everyone at Tecca worked naked. But then one day, I go into a bathroom I don’t usually go into, and there are like four other guys in there, fully clothed. So, I go back to my boss, I’m like, “Uh, hello? There’s guys with clothes on. What the hell?” And then, it turns out he’s not even supposed to be my boss. I’m supposed to be his boss! He just got there before me and made himself my fucking boss!
[game chiming]
My God, she’s gorgeous.
[Ron] Steven, why isn’t there a hydraulic lever on the Tecca chair?
There is.
[Ron] No, there’s not.
I think there is. Yeah, sorry, I think I’d know. There is.
[Ron] I just told my daughter all this stuff, and now none of it’s real.
[chuckles]
[Ron] Come on, Mike, let’s go.
Um, I’m gonna keep playing, Ron. These girls are unbelievable.
[game chiming]
Ooh!
[chuckles]
[game chiming]
Oh, my gosh!
[muffled bass thumping]
[phone buzzing]
[thumping continues]
[♪ mysterious music playing]
[Ron chuckles softly]
[chattering]
[Ron] God, it’s a nightmare out here.
Oh, hey. Listen.
Oh.
If they do not invest in what you’re doing…
Yeah, hmm.
…fuck ’em.
Oh.
Okay?
You got it.
Thank you
oh.
Thank you so much, Tara.
Seriously.
Hey, Sethy boy. Bring it in.
[chuckles] Oh.
Bye, uh…
That’s a mama bear hug right there.
Thank you so much for showing me Frankenweenie.
It meant a lot.
Oh.
It was really nice spending time with you guys. For me and for Tara.
[Ron] It was a lot of fun, Nat.
Will you let me know what’s going on?
[Ron] You’re a little interested, huh? I’ll keep you posted.
[chuckles]
[Ron] But, uh, a lot of that stuff I told you, I I think might be dead ends.
So, no thebaine?
[Ron] Nah. I got some new ideas, though.
[phone buzzing]
I’m sorry.
What the hell?
[Ron] Oh, it’s the exterminator.
[Ron] Hello?
[exterminator] Ron, you got a sec?
Natalie.
[Ron] Uh, yeah, we’re actually on our way home right now. Is everything okay?
You’re good to come back. I’m just calling because I did find a couple of bugs in your house I’ve never seen before.
[Ron] Oh, weird.
I’m going to take them to my guy to take a look.
[Tara] They’re your parents, okay? It’s your life, too. They’ll understand.
If we found out it’s a brand-new bug, do you mind if I named it after me?
[Ron] Okay, alright. I’ll– I have to talk to you a little later, okay?
[Ron] Hey, what are you guys talking about over here?
Oh, malls, Ron.
Malls.
[Tara]
We’re just talking malls. Talking shop about malls.
[Ron] For real, what are you talking about? It seemed serious.
[Tara] Nah, it’s not that big a deal.
Here, let-let me get this.
[Ron] Oh. Thank you, Tara. Thank you so much.
After you. Yeah.
[Ron] Don’t shut it on me.
Oh, sorry. I’m sorry. I thought–
[Ron] Wait ’til I’m in there.
…Wednesday, if you were thinking of coming to that.
It’s only like four hours long.
[Monica]
Douglas is back, everyone.
[applause] Hey!
[Ben] There he is.
[Douglas] Oh, my God. I can’t tell you how good it feels to see all of you again. There were times when I wasn’t sure I would make it out of there alive. Luckily, I was under a refrigerator, so I was able to swing open the freezer and have access to food. I couldn’t pick what I had. I just grabbed whatever I could touch. But I was able to survive, even though I couldn’t pick. I had a lot of time to think under that fridge. And I’d like to apologize to all of you for the party.
Douglas, forget it. We’re just happy you’re back.
[sighs] [choking up] You’re just the kindest people.
[Ron] Douglas, glad you’re alright.
Thanks, Ron. I want to take a look at the mall plans. I-I want to make sure we have enough wheelchair access. I just want to be certain that we’re ADA compliant. Y-You know what ADA is?
[Ron] Yeah, I know what ADA is, and we’re completely complying.
I intend to be all over this one, buddy. I’m-I’m not gonna let you take shortcuts on those ramps.
[Ron] How-how long are you in the wheelchair?
Uh, they think, like, two to eight months. Um, it’s-it’s sort of up to me.
[phone buzzing]
[Ron] Uh, excuse me one second. Glad you’re back.
[Ron] Yeah?
[Mike] I found Oliver Probblo. He’s outside Dayton.
[Douglas] Okay, everybody, coming through. Bags off the floor, please. Bags off the floor. Doris, bag.
[Doris] Huh?
Pick your bag up, sweetie.
[Mike] It’s a bit of a drive, but we can go talk to him tomorrow night. Can you swing it?
[Ron] Brenda. Brenda, hey. They’re, uh, blasting the ledge at the site on Wednesday, and I told Andrew Bohldo from Canton Natural Defense that I would be there to oversee it.
Yeah. Whatever, Ron. Oh, and I have some news we really need to sit down about. Um… You know what, I’ll wait ’til Jeff gets back from his trip.
[Ron] I can talk right now. I don’t leave ’til tomorrow.
No, we’ll talk when you get back. Um, it’s gonna take a little while to process.
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
[doorbell ringing]
[dog barking]
[Mike] Hello?
[Ron] Come on down, Mike, I’m outside.
Come up, I’m just popping out of the shower.
[door buzzing]
[Wazey Waynes] [on stereo] Shut your fucking fly trap, whore! You fucking sweaty pig! What’s your cock doing on my bed? Cock juice all over my fuckin’ bed. What the hell happened to my picture–
Hey, hey, Ron.
[stereo turning off]
[Ron] Hey, hey, hey.
Uh, yeah. I’m sorry for the mess. So, I emailed Oliver. You know, he was an actor. So, I-I told him we were fans so he wouldn’t get spooked. He said he was doing his show tonight, and, uh, we should go by and talk to him after.
[Ron] What are the fancy shoes for?
[muffled screaming, thumping]
Uh, I don’t know. Who knows where we’re gonna end up tonight. Somewhere fancy maybe, huh? Hey, want anything to eat?
[Ron] Oh, I’m okay.
It’s a long ride, come on. Sit down, I’ll get you something. Come on, come on.
[muffled screaming continues]
Ah, what the hell? There’s barf in the sink. Goddamn it.
[fridge door opens]
[bottles rattling]
Let’s see, uh… here. You want some, uh, some, uh, chicken? You want some fried, uh…
[muffled screaming]
I’ll be right with you.
[Ron] Got a whole shirt and everything?
[banging, screaming]
[♪ disco music on radio]
[stomach growling]
Oh! What the hell was that?
[Ron chuckles]
You shoulda ate some of that chicken. That was really good pepper chicken. Whole lotta onions. But there’s a spot we can get a bite to eat up there. They make the-the biggest freakin’ meatballs I ever seen. They make ’em up with this gray beef. Uh, you know, it’s so gray. You know what I’m talking about. Gray beef.
[Ron] So, you’ve been there before?
Yeah, I spent some time there. Actually, it’s a really weird town.
[phone buzzing]
The people are just, uh, probably, like, everywhere. Some good, some bad.
[Ron] So, what else did Oliver say?
Well, he’s doing, uh, Scrooge in A Christmas Carol up there for the last three years. Hey, he sent me a-a ton of video ’cause he thinks we’re fans.
[chuckles]
But I-I watched A Christmas Carol. I-It’s a really good story.
[Ron] What’s he doing now?
Oliver said that he tries to find things to do as Scrooge, you know, in the offseason, so he doesn’t get rusty. He’s doing this, uh, big performance tonight, but we’ll-we’ll catch up with him after that.
[♪ disco music continues playing on radio]
♪ They said the world was flat
but he proved it wrong ♪
♪ That’s how they fall ♪
[tires screeching]
[Ron] Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing?
[car horns honking]
[Ron] Oh, my God!
[♪ dark electronic music playing]
Goddamn it! I tried to do Scrooge in a jail, but they were so nasty. Spitting at me. The Nazis were the worst, can you believe that? I said, “I’m glad you’re all in jail.” I hate those Nazis. I’ll say it. I didn’t even want to do the jail. My drama coach said do it. She’s insane.
[Ron] Right.
She’s been squatting in my apartment for months. She locked herself in the bedroom in November and won’t leave.
[Ron] Oh.
Doesn’t pay any rent. Taste this. They say that’s Jameson. I don’t think it is.
It is, sir.
Can I get one of those copper cups?
What, you want a Moscow Mule? I need your license if you want the cup. It’s policy.
You need my I.D.? You’re afraid I’m going to steal the cup? Here you go.
So, you’re big fans, huh?
[Ron] Yeah, we’re really big fans.
Yeah. Yeah.
[Ron] Hey, Oliver, uh, what can you tell us about Red Ball Market Global?
Never heard of it.
[Ron] But you did a-a photoshoot for them?
Uh, no.
[Ron] Uh, see right here. This, do you remember this? I mean, this here says you’re the CFO.
No! These photos were taken as an exercise for my “Life of the Party” class.
Wait, wait, what?
“Life of the Party” classes. It’s classes I used to take to help you become instantly the life of any party you attend–
[Ron] Excuse me. Sir? Sir, excuse me? Uh, your sleeve keeps almost going in that soup. You should watch out.
What?
[Ron] Uh, your sleeve keeps almost going in that soup, and I just don’t want it to get dirty.
So what? Why not?
[Ron] Just trying to be helpful.
Don’t worry about me. Worry about yourself. Fuckin’ asshole.
[bar patron chuckles]
[Ron] A-Alright, sorry. What was this exercise?
We pretended to be other people. At first, I thought it was kinda weird, but then I started to really have fun with it. And you know what? That was the day I realized I want to be an actor.
[Ron] Why did you feel it was weird?
We never did that kind of exercise in that class before.
[Ron] Mm.
Uh, and-and there was this woman there directing it with a photographer. She kept saying, “You’re a businessman,” or-or, “You’re a boss.”
[Ron] [chuckles] Who was she? Who was this woman?
Well, I’d never seen her before, so I asked Sandy, who runs the class…
[Ron] Yeah.
…”Who was that lady taking the pictures?”
[Ron] Yeah!
“I want to be an actor. And this is my first job.” But she wouldn’t tell me. So then, I said, “I just want to thank her. I don’t really care about the pictures. I just wanna thank her for changing my life.” So finally, she gave me an email address, and then I hammered her. “Give me those pictures!” I didn’t let up. “I want those pictures!”
[Ron] So, what was her name?
[bar patron] Hey, honey, I want you to meet someone. This guy here, he cares about my sleeve. He’s Henry Helper. He doesn’t want my sleeve to have cheddar soup on it.
[couple laughing]
[Oliver] I wouldn’t mess with him. This is a coke bar. Everyone here’s a cokehead.
[Ron] Uh, alright, Oliver, this-this woman who was taking these photographs in the class, do you remember her name?
I should. I emailed her about 500 times.
[Ron] What was her name?
Um… Maggie S. Yes, Maggie S.
[Ron] “S”?
I can’t remember what the “S” stood for off the top of my head, but I have the emails at home on my iPad. I downloaded them all from my work email before I got kicked off it.
[Ron] You have the name on your iPad?
Come back to the apartment and I’ll look up the name for you. But first, I gotta do some coke. Then, we’ll leave.
[bar patron] Uh-oh! Exactly what you didn’t want to happen is happening. Too bad you can’t help! [laughing]
[sniffing] There you go.
That’s 75 for the baggie.
Sold. Here’s 80, my good man.
Since you love my sleeve so much, I bet you’d like to kiss it.
[laughter]
[Mike] Why don’t you leave us alone, huh?
Hey! I know you.
No, you don’t.
Yeah, I do. I know some folks that would love to know you’re back in town.
We gotta go. I paid for the coke with Scrooge money.
[Ron] Oh, damn it!
How ’bout I take a little selfie?
Don’t you dare take a selfie of me.
Hey, whoa, whoa, wait. Why don’t you kiss my sleeve? We know you care about it. We know that it’s your favorite shirt. And I’m your favorite lay. I’m your mama.
[laughter]
Why aren’t you kissing your mama’s sleeve? Aren’t I your mama?
[Ron] No, you’re my goddamn mama.
Smile!
Here comes Mama Barbie’s sleeve!
[Ron] I’m not Mama Barbie!
Yes, you are! Here’s your bottle, Mama Barbie!
[voices muffling]
[♪ gentle music playing]
[♪ music stops abruptly]
[crowd gasps]
Oh, God!
Hag!
[crowd gasps]
[Ron] Oh, shit! Go, go!
[♪ heavy metal music playing]
Come on, come on, come on, come on, get in, get in!
Quick, quick, quick!
Oh, you little fucker!
Oh, shit!
[Ron] Oh, my God!
Go! Go! Step on it!
I’m going! I’m going!
[Ron] Oh, Jesus! Oh, shit!
[Mike] Don’t stop!
Get off me, hag!
[exclaiming]
[screaming]
[crashing]
[Ron] Oh, no!
[Mike] Go!
[Ron] Where are we going? Where are we going here?
Oh, we’re close. Straight ahead. Oh, my God. My voice.
[phone buzzing]
I actually sound more like Scrooge.
[Ron] Hey, Nat, what’s up?
[Natalie] Are you okay? I thought you were supposed to be in Canton.
[Ron] I am in Canton.
Dad.
Here. Here, here, here, here. Mi casa! Mi casa!
Who is that?
[Ron] Natalie, I-I’m fine, okay? I’ll call you later, alright? I’m gonna be okay. Everything’s good. Bye.
[♪ eerie music playing]
[Ron] Come on, Oliver.
Hold on.
[doorbell buzzing]
[buzzing continues]
[banging]
How’d they find us?
Oh, the fucking cup. My I.D., the policy.
[Ron] Come on, Oliver, find that name. I need the name. What’s the “S” stand for, Oliver?
I can’t find it!
[banging continues]
[Ron] Look for the “S,” Maggie S!
I’m searching for Maggie S, and there’s nothing.
[banging]
[Ron] Oh, my God. Keep looking! Please, please. Please, please, please.
This is crazy.
There’s a guy climbing the pole.
Oh, no!
Keep looking!
[growling]
[banging continues]
Whoa!
[grunting]
[banging]
[Ron] Uh…
[screaming]
[thud]
[Mike] Oh!
[Ron] What happened?
[Mike] Oh, my God.
[Ron] What happened?!
He’s okay.
[banging continues]
[Ron] Oh, God! No, what are you doing? Leave him alone! Leave– no! No!
[gasps] I’m not leaving! I’m not leaving!
Push her out! Push her out!
Get away from me!
Push her out!
[clicking teeth]
[Ron] Oh, gosh.
Get away!
[Ron] Oh, goddammit!
You gotta pay rent!
I’m never paying you rent!
This is ’cause of my sleeve.
[overlapping shouting]
Give me the fucking money.
I don’t have any.
Oliver? Is everything okay?
No!
Get your hands off of me!
[Oliver shouting indistinctly]
[all shouting]
[Ron shouting]
♪♪
[overlapping shouting continues]
[glass breaking]
[Ron] Hey! Hey! Hey, come here!
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
[Ron] [grunting] Fuck! [grunting]
[door slamming]
[loud rhythmic clanging]
[♪ suspenseful music intensifying]
[♪ music stops abruptly]
No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
[Ron] Whoa! What the fuck?!
Don’t move. Don’t move. Don’t fucking move! My fucking wife hired you, didn’t she?
[Ron] What?
She hired you. She sent you here to catch me cheating.
[Ron] No, no, I’m just looking for a guy!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, she did, she did, she did.
[Ron] No!
I seen you in that green Cadillac sitting in the parking lot trying to catch my ass cheating. Yeah, that’s it.
[Ron] I swear that’s not me. Just please.
I gotta figure this out. I love my wife. I want to keep her.
[Ron] Okay, okay.
This is what you’re gonna do. Are you married?
[Ron] Yes, I’m a married man, and I have children.
Okay, this is what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna make a video of you cheating on your wife.
Yeah, we have to.
[Ron] No. What are you talking about? I don’t know your wife!
We’re gonna make a video of you kissing Gretchen and Gretchen kissing him. Gretcatch, you okay with that?
Yep.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[Ron] I can’t do that!
Yes, you are.
[Ron] I can’t!
Yes, you are!
[Ron] Fuck you!
Yes, you are.
[Ron] Fucking hell.
Yes, you are!
[overlapping shouting]
[Ron] Okay! Okay!
Alright. Get in tight. That’s it. And go. Okay, good. Good, a little more. One more second. Okay, good. Excellent. That’s cheating. Alright. Alright. Fuck. Alright, now just let me fucking process this, okay? Okay. I think we’re fucking good. Okay, um… Shit.
[Ron] I’m good?
No, no, no, no. Not yet, uh… [sighs] Fuck. Okay, thanks.
I think we got it. You’re a good man for doing this, man. Thank you. You can go. Go ahead, go on. Okay. Go on, okay.
[person exclaiming]
[shouting]
[machine beeping]
[Mike] I’m going in. Let me in.
Are you family? Then, you’re gonna have to wait outside.
[Ron] No, no, no, no, no, no, no. He’s family. Yeah, that’s family right there. That’s my brother.
Ah, Mr. Trosper, you’re awake.
[Ron] [chuckles] Yeah.
Yeah, well, it looks like you suffered a minor concussion. And we noticed some residual fluid in your brain. Did you have any kind of head trauma prior to today?
[Ron] Uh, I did have an incident a couple weeks ago.
Oh, two concussions back to back. I’d be very careful. Another hit could cause some very serious permanent damage.
[Ron] I-I’ll be careful. Thank you. Oh, shit. Mike, you gotta do me a favor. Can you please take this phone far away from here as possible? I think Natalie’s been tracking me, and I don’t want her to know I’m in the hospital.
Alright, you got it.
[Ron] Thank you.
[door closes]
[machine beeping]
[Mike sighs]
You sleep, Ron. I’ll get us home.
[Ron] Thanks, Mike.
Yeah, you got it.
[♪ gentle music playing]
[birdsong]
[soft indistinct chatter]
[Mike] I’m sorry, Ron, I had to make a-a pit stop. [sighs] Family’s hard.
[Ron] That’s your family?
Yeah. It’s-it’s my daughter. It’s complicated. I don’t get to see her as much as I’d like.
[Ron] I didn’t know you had a daughter.
Yeah. Lynette. Isn’t that a beautiful name? I wasn’t the best father, or whatever. I wasn’t a good partner. I don’t want to look back at my life and-and see I was a bad guy.
[Ron] Yeah.
You know, like-like Scrooge. I don’t want people to stand on my grave and laugh.
[Ron] Well, at least you tried. That’s something.
I don’t want you to pay me anymore, Ron.
[Ron] What?
Yeah. I-I don’t want you to pay me. I want to do it because it’s the right thing to do. And plus, we’re family, huh?
[♪ “Rainy Days and Mondays” by Carpenters playing]
Yeah, I-I appreciate that. But I’m gonna keep paying you. I mean, this is your job.
No, it’s-it’s not a job anymore. I want to help you, Ron.
♪ Talkin’ to myself and feelin’ old ♪
You know, you accidentally hit that guy right in the dent. You could have killed him. That’s the closest skin to the brain.
♪ Hangin’ around ♪
[Ron] Yeah. Yeah, pfft, got lucky, man.
♪ Rainy days and Mondays always get me down ♪
[explosion booming]
[workers exclaiming]
[applause]
♪ What I’ve got, they used to call the blues ♪
♪ Nothing is really wrong ♪
♪ Feeling like I don’t belong ♪
♪ Walking around ♪
♪ Some kind of lonely clown ♪
[alarm system beeping]
♪ Rainy days and Mondays always get me down ♪
♪ Funny, but it seems I always wind up here with you ♪
♪ Nice to know somebody loves me ♪
♪ Funny, but it seems that it’s the only thing to do ♪
♪ Run and find the one who loves me ♪
♪ Hanging around ♪
♪ Nothing to do but frown ♪
♪ Rainy days and Mondays always get me down ♪
♪♪
♪ Funny, but it seems that it’s the only thing to do ♪
♪ Only thing to do ♪
♪ Run and find the one who loves me ♪
♪ What I feel has come and gone before ♪
♪ No need to talk it out ♪
♪ We know what it’s all about ♪
♪ Hanging around ♪
♪ Nothing to do but frown ♪
♪ Rainy days and Mondays always get ♪
♪ Me down ♪
