The Chair Company
Season 1 – Episode 4
Episode title: Bahld Harmon birthplace (disputed)
Original release date: November 3, 2025
Plot: While developing a new hypothesis, Ron finds himself at the center of a series of confusing encounters.
* * *
The Chair Company – S01E04 – Bahld Harmon birthplace (disputed) | Full transcript
[people chattering]
[♪ Jazzy “O Christmas Tree” playing]
[coworker] Yeah.
[chuckles] Yeah.
It’s all a bit, you know, real funny, but it’s a huge headache, you know?
So, I just tracked down my old landlord ’cause the new bank flagged my check or whatever.
Oh, they did that?
Yeah, yeah! [grunting] I don’t know what that was all about.
But, you know, I just probably have to fill out some paperwork.
You know, it’s kind of monotonous, they have to go through a lot of… jump through all those hoops, but I know…
[Barb] Oh, my God.
[both laughing]
[Barb] I hope they don’t see me looking.
Here. Let’s go. Let’s go.
Just don’t look. Just don’t look at him. Don’t look at him.
[Barb] He bored you?
[Ron] Oh, my God.
Oh, Ron, he was so excited to meet you.
[sighs] Just…
He…
Well, that makes me feel bad.
No. Mmmm.
Ah, yeah, he’s boring as hell.
Well… [laughing] Oh, God.
Did you have fun, at least?
I don’t know. I don’t know.
[sighs] I think, um…
You know what, sometimes I just feel like it’s time for a change.
I like the work, I really do, it’s just that the people are killing me.
It’s like, sometimes I…
I’m just like, “Do it my way.”
Well, it sounds like you just don’t like having a boss.
Yeah, I mean, maybe I don’t.
You should be your own boss anyway.
You’re amazing.
Thank you, honey.
Yeah.
I have actually been thinking about it.
I mean, really thinking about it.
Um, I mean, it’s not fully fleshed out yet, but, you know, when I had Seth and Natalie, I would be in meetings and I would be trying to pump.
And there was never anything on the market that was kind of like a… you know, a portable, stylish breast pump.
And I thought to myself, why can’t I do that?
Why can’t I be the person to bring that to market?
And I reached out to a couple of my friends who… who went to business school, you know, just to see how hard it would actually be.
And it turns out, it’s really doable.
[chuckles]
What the hell?
You’ve been thinking about this?
Well, yeah!
[scoffs] I just feel like if we’re gonna make a change, if I’m gonna try to do something, this is the time, you know?
You gotta blow it up and start over.
I mean, I feel like I could do it.
Yeah. Yes.
Yeah, right?
Let’s… let’s start over.
Wh…
What?
Let’s quit our jobs.
Well, you too?
Yeah, we’ll both do it.
[laughing] I actually had an idea myself that I’ve been thinking about for quite a long time.
Oh! Uh, what is it?
Barb, it’s something that I honestly think could help people, and I think it’d be fun.
Okay!
I mean, my dad helped people every day of his life.
I’m… I’m not helping anybody at Fisher Robay.
Alright, you’re drunk.
Yeah, I’m drunk.
Who gives a shit?
[chuckles] And honestly, we should show the kids that you don’t have to settle.
Right.
You can do something you love.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yes!
Wait.
Are we doing this?
Yeah.
[screaming]
[Barbara laughing]
♪ Gloria ♪
Oh, my God!
[laughing]
[♪ uplifting choral music
playing]
[dog barking]
He goes faster, too.
How the fuck is he going so fast?
[groaning] Yeah.
We should have never have sent that fucking voicemail to Tecca.
Look, I’ll stay out here. I’ll watch the house for the night.
It’ll be okay.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Alright, alright, alright.
Thank you. Thank you.
[loud buzzing]
[buzzing continues]
[Barbara coughing]
[phone dropping]
Ron?
Oh.
[buzzing stops] Yeah?
Oh! Hey.
Hey! Whoa!
Yeah, I’m…
Hey.
Mmhmm.
[chuckles]
Scared the crap out of me.
God, I just had this investor meeting, and it just could not have gone worse.
I was nervous, and then George started drinking too much and got all tongue-tied.
It was so bad.
Ah, I’m so sorry, those things can be just pure hell.
Do you remember Susan Asso?
So, she created this thing.
She’s only been at it for a couple years, and she has an angel investor just like that.
They’re selling in Brookstone.
What’s it do?
So, you put it on your eyelids like this…
[buzzing] …and then it gently presses down and it vibrates and it somehow…
I guess it creates those, like, little lasers and, um, squares, and calms you down.
Yeah, well, Brookstone is…
Sucks.
[computer mouse clicking]
[keyboard clicking]
[♪ Suspenseful music playing]
That’s really bizarre.
[sighs]
[line ringing]
[Mike] [on phone] Hello? Mike, this is bizarre, but I think they might be putting something in the chairs.
[Mike] Like they’re hiding something in it? I don’t know.
I don’t know.
[voices moaning on phone]
W-What are you listening to?
[Mike] Pornos. Is that okay?
You’re watching pornos outside of my house?
[Mike] I’m just listening to it. I’ll turn it off.
[moaning continues]
I think I need to get one of these chairs and rip it apart.
[Mike] What the hell? Oh, I’m in a… a whole new website now.
Mike.
Windows keep popping up. Fuck! Fuck!
God damn it! Fuckin’ thing. I… I at least gotta update it.
Just stay out there.
[fingers tapping]
[♪ Determined music playing]
That’s really bizarre.
[shower running]
[rapid knocking]
[rapid knocking continues]
Hello.
I’m here for the boys.
I’m gonna wrap them in towels.
Excuse me?
The 1965 Fab Four figure collection you’re selling, remember?
I’m getting it for higher than I want, and the paint’s off Ringo’s nose, and you don’t care at all.
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
The Fab Four 1965 figure collection that you’re selling for way higher than I’d like, and you’re not knocking anything off, even though Ringo’s nose is gray.
Uh, I really think you have the wrong address.
This is the address listed on eBay.
I’m not selling anything.
Then why did you list it?
I didn’t!
[whispering] Oh, Jesus Christ.
[sighs] I can’t believe you’re doing this.
Shit.
Shit. Shit. Shit!
Okay, alright.
Sorry for the mix-up.
Have a nice day.
How?
[Seth] Who was that?
I don’t know, some guy who thought I was selling something on eBay.
Oh, okay.
He’s still out there.
Can you go?
No, I can’t.
Do you not see me crying?
I need time to cool down.
Do you want me to go crazy on your fuckin’ lawn?
Asshole.
Okay, let’s move on to Canton.
Alon, you have an update?
Yes, and a fun one.
We have received an overwhelmingly positive response to our Jim Brown sculpture idea.
Where’s Douglas?
He didn’t show up today.
I tried calling him, but no one picked up.
[clerk] Douglas Ashley.
He’s probably just embarrassed from his mistakes party.
You can’t just not come in ’cause you’re embarrassed.
‘Cause after all… money makes the world go round, right?
[laughter]
[Brenda] Thank you, Alon.
And just so you all know, Jeff has got a little treat coming for everyone tomorrow ’cause you all rock.
[whispering] I’m not quite sure what’s happening.
I’m sorry, I didn’t realize we had a meeting today.
Oh, no. I want to introduce you to Dr. Stevens.
Dr. Stevens.
He’s coming from Loebleene HR Consultants as an outside observer.
Very excited.
This is a very exciting case.
He’s gonna observe you and Amanda in a casual setting to make sure there’s nothing of concern.
[sighs] What the hell?
What does this have to do with the chair breaking?
We saw a picture of you in your high school yearbook with your arm around Amanda, and we’re concerned because you told us you didn’t hang out in high school.
I didn’t hang out with her in high school.
She was… kind of a loser.
She was a dork. She was… social suicide.
Her mom worked in the basement of the school.
In the basement?
Yeah, she used to come out of this little door in the hallway all dirty to give Amanda her lunch. She worked with the pipes or something.
Hey, Ron, you have a phone call.
Uh, I’m in a meeting.
I think you should take this.
Hello?
[caller] Mr. Trosper, this is the worst part of my job. Uh, we can’t represent you.
Uh, excuse me? [chuckles]
You didn’t make the cut. Your face is just a bit too extreme.
Who is this?
This is Malt from Vendrome Faces Modeling Management. You submitted to be one of our models.
Uh, I did not submit to be a model.
I don’t know what this is.
[Malt]
You did submit to be a model. I didn’t, I don’t want to be a model.
I know I’m not a model.
Do me a favor.
Don’t ever contact me or this office in your life.
[♪ Suspicious music playing]
[Ben] Hey, Ron.
Sorry to bother you.
You have any idea what this treat’s gonna be from Jeff?
You think it’s gonna be like a… like a dessert or like a… like a book, or…
I don’t know.
Okay. I’m just really worried.
♪
[Ron] Arm around her?
That’s curtain call.
She played a beggar.
It’s not like she was Merelda.
It’d be crazy if I was Quasimodo and I forgot she played Merelda.
Hey! Oh, dear, what’s happening?
Why do we have so much goddamn junk in this house?
I… I need you out of my office, honey, ’cause I gotta work on my deck.
So… [scoffs] Another investor?
Hopefully. Yes.
Um, there’s this very neat woman.
She’s really interested.
She actually… she referred to me as a badass mama bear.
[laughing] Oh, my God.
And I thought, I gotta, you know, hook that.
Um, we’ll see.
It’s cool.
Congratulations, that’s super cool.
Thank you. Oh!
Um, on Saturday, she asked me if we would join her, uh, for dinner.
I’ll try to make it, but I’m…
I’m super busy right now, so just don’t count on me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We’ll see what happens.
We’ll see how it all pans out.
Yeah, we’ll try.
[Barb] …a material that’s going to function as padding for the breast, but then also something that you can pop in the dishwasher.
You know, it-it’s something that really can kind of be versatile.
So, let’s talk tomorrow about it.
Okay. Thanks again.
Alright, bye.
How did it go with the investor?
I couldn’t get him to smile.
What?
I just kept looking over at him…
waiting for him to smile. I was showing him everything, all the trails, and wasn’t impressed. So, I decided to go a little faster. You know, I thought if he felt the breeze hit his face, he’d definitely smile.
He didn’t.
So, I went a lot faster.
Then, I saw this log that I knew I could get over.
And what happened?
Couldn’t get over it.
[banging] He flew into the windshield.
What?
He didn’t go through it, but his head hit it straight on.
And just like, shot back into his seat, and he, like… wasn’t talking.
Then, he started rubbing his hands going, “I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know.”
I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know.”
Ron, where is he right now?
I took him back to the hotel.
He said he just wanted to get a little bit of sleep.
Oh, my God.
He just didn’t get what I was trying to do.
He kept talking about bringing LED screens to show videos of old dinosaurs.
That’s an interesting, uh…
No, it’s not!
That’s not what I’m trying to do.
It’s all about trying to be in the moment.
It’s therapy for soldiers, so they can get used to peace time.
So, you know, they can still live on the edge, but it’s not all as dangerous as war.
I gotta go talk to Arturo.
He just sent me some new plans.
He’s got no idea what I’m going for.
He doesn’t get it at all.
Okay, and how much will that cost?
It doesn’t matter.
Doesn’t matter.
It doesn’t matter.
This has to work.
We have to show the kids that you can chase your dreams.
Yeah.
This has to work.
I’m not going back to Fisher Robay.
Ever. I’d rather die.
I’d rather kill myself.
Andrew Bohlo at Canton Natural Defense is really worried about the effects of the blasting on the local wildlife.
[phone buzzing] I’ll handle it. We have a way to mitigate these things.
Yeah, I just want to…
Oh, hold on for one sec. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.
Hello?
[Carol] Hi, this is Carol at Superstars Etc.
Modeling Agency. Hope you’re having a good day today, Mr. Trosper. Uh, we just wanted to give you a call and let you know that you didn’t get it, but we’re really close to the Inside Battery insert ad.
What?
They liked you, but they went with Bahld Harmon. He’s just done more. What the hell are you talking about?
Who’s Bahld Harmon?
[Carol] Bahld Harmon!
Legendary plump-sized model. Who is saying I want to be a model?
[Carol] Mr. Trosper, you’ve emailed us and sent us many headshots, so we threw you on the pile and you got close. That’s great. #I never emailed.
What was the email address you got?
[Carol] RonTro28@gmail.com. #That’s not me.
That’s not my email.
Someone is talking as me.
What the hell is happening here?
I don’t know, sir. #There’s somebody making people at work thinking I’m trying to be a model, making me look crazy!
Fuckers!
[♪ Dramatic music playing]
Ron?
Dr. Stevens.
What are you doing?
Just… calling my mom. Relaxing.
Why are you in my temporary office?
Why you ain’t got nothin’ in here?
Well, that’s why I got this.
♪
Can you please help me get one of our office chairs out of the building?
Can’t you just wheel it out?
I can’t be seen wheeling it out.
Just get it in my car.
It’s a gray Chevy Impala with a Dublin Jerome High bumper sticker on it.
Thank you.
What the heck? That guy beat me?
[scoffs] Why do I even care?
[Jeff] [clapping]
Hey, gang. Happy Thursday!
For the next hour, there is a beignet truck in the parking lot.
Is it Ralph’s or Miss Maddy’s?
[laughing] Oh, Louis. Huh?
Miss Maddy’s, of course!
[light laughter]
[Monica] It’s a shame that Douglas isn’t here.
He loves New Orleans.
Douglas didn’t come in again today?
No.
Louis, you live right by him, right?
Yeah, I do.
Yeah.
Maybe you should take him over a beignet, you know, try to get him out of his funk.
Okay, I’ll bring two.
One I’ll bring for him, and the other one, I’ll eat on the way in the car.
Sure.
So glad I didn’t have a sweet for lunch.
I thought the treat was maybe gonna be like a pocket game or a… a piece of artwork.
Something told me it was gonna be a sweet.
Ron!
[chuckles nervously] You gotta have Miss Maddy’s.
No, I am! I am!
I’ve gotta see you eat one of these.
Oh, you’re gonna see me… see me stuff it in my fat face.
[both laughing] Okay.
Alright.
[cheering and applause]
[cheering and applause continue]
[♪ Dramatic music playing]
[keyboard clacking]
[Ron] We should have never have sent that fucking voicemail to Tecca.
[Brenda] Where’s Douglas?
[collector] This is the address listed on eBay.
[Malt] You submitted to be one of our models.
[Carol] You emailed us and sent us many headshots. RonTro28@gmail.com.
[♪ Dramatic musical sting]
[Ron] What the hell?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
What the fuck is going on here?!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, what is happening here?
You need to step back.
What is happening? This is my house!
Sir! Sir!
This is my house.
That’s my family in there!
Hey!
That’s my family in there!
Are you Ron Trosper?
Yes! This is my house!
Did you say you were donating a big green egg to the station?
[Ron] Tecca donated my big green egg to the police station.
[Mike] [on phone] What? Where the hell were you?
I thought I was walking into a bloodbath.
Look, I saw the cops, so I took off, I’m sorry.
I thought I was gonna see Barb’s throat ripped across the counter.
Oh, you gotta calm down, pal.
God damn it.
I don’t know what Tecca’s gonna do next.
I gotta get my family outta here.
I don’t know what to do.
Look, I got a way I can get your family out without them knowing. I’d have to call in a favor from a friend. He’s a really bad guy, but I can do it.
Yeah, do it.
[Barbara groaning]
What? Ron, where are we going?
We’re infested.
What?
Yeah, it’s a nightmare.
Your husband found some bugs.
[groaning]
We’re gonna have to spray here ASAP.
I found this one in your underwear drawer.
It was all tangled up in your tiniest little pair of panties.
I might have to be here a couple days.
[Barb] Okay, well, let me go pack, because I don’t wanna…
[Ron] No, no, I already packed for you. I got everything for you.
Honey, can you…
Seth, let’s go!
Anyway, so we gotta go to the hotel, and I’m gonna have to work from… [sighs] …a little business center or something there for a few days.
I don’t know how long.
[Natalie]
[on phone] You guys should just stay here. Tara has a huge guest room.
It’s really nice.
[Tara] Your parents are staying here? But it’s sex night. Just kidding.
I’d love to have you. [whispering] Oh, wow.
[Ron scoffs]
Uh, that would… that’s… yes, honey, I would love that.
That sounds so great.
That’s so thoughtful.
[Natalie] Yay! See you soon.
[Ron scoffs]
Bye. Bye.
Bye.
Oh, my God!
I know.
Barb, stay at Tara’s?
Ron, we have to try to like Tara.
I think Tara’s cool.
Seth!
Sorry.
Uh, Seth, you’re on the couch.
No whacking it. Not even edging.
[Seth] Yeah.
Um, and you guys are in the burger room.
Sorry about this. Sorry.
[Barb] No, no. Oh, no worries at all.
I like to sleep in here when my knee’s bothering me.
Oh, is that right?
Yeah, it is right now, but that’s fine.
[papers plopping] I’m always saying to Natalie, we have too much junk in here, in this room.
Well, it’s her, uh, stuff.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
Yeah, don’t look at that.
It’s the new Wendy’s burger.
[Barb] Oh!
It’s the almond pimento burger.
Yeah, it does not photograph well.
[whispering] Stinks.
Well, doesn’t stink.
It just smells like burger.
That’s good.
[water briefly running]
[♪ light acoustic guitar music playing]
[Ron] Poor Seth.
[people chattering]
[coworker] Incredible.
Thank you, Doris.
You have to tell us the story again.
Tell us.
[Louis] Again?
From the top.
[Louis] Okay, well, when…
Hey, what’s going on?
Louis is a hero.
What?
He saved Douglas’ life.
He found him on the floor of his kitchen.
His refrigerator had fallen on top of him, and he’d been under there for two days.
Oh, my God.
He even gave him a bath before the paramedics got there.
[Monica] So sweet.
[sighs, chuckles softly]
Pretty cool, huh?
Louis and Douglas. Crazy.
Ron, I wanna talk to you about that email you sent me.
The email from your personal email account.
Uh… I…
I know how hard you work.
But it’s just not appropriate to be asking for a raise right now so aggressively.
Oh, my God. I… I don’t…
It just felt greedy, Ron.
We all like getting paid money.
But we don’t say that.
We don’t say we love getting paid money.
I know that. I’m… I’m sorry.
[door opens, closes]
[sighs]
[computer mouse clacking]
[mouse clicking]
[♪ Ominous music playing]
[muffled buzzing]
[phone buzzing loudly]
[Mike sighs]
I stole that fucker for you.
This way, you can see if something is in it.
[♪ “Roads & Loads” by Chris Baker playing]
♪ I’ve been looking down
that long and lonely road ♪
♪ That I travel
just to make me a dime ♪
♪ Out of the dimes I find ♪
♪ I only hope
that you’re still mine ♪
♪ I’ve been looking down… ♪
[garage door slamming]
[music stops abruptly]
[water boiling]
Hell is everybody? Hey!
Hey.
Smelling good in here.
[chuckles] Really?
Yeah, it’s smelling really good.
Oh. Tara makes me add olives to everything.
I think they’re disgusting, but she says everything is bland without them, so.
[scoffs]
You happy with Tara?
[laughing] What?
Dad, I’m marrying her.
I know that, I know that, but a-are you happy?
I saw her take your art supplies and just throw ’em in the closet.
And you used to love art, it was your dream.
It was just a hobby, Dad.
I’m happy.
It doesn’t have to be art.
I just feel like you should find your own thing that you’re passionate about, and, you know, and just do everything you can to do it, you know?
Dad, stop!
You’re stressing me out.
I just don’t want you to be brought along with Tara, just supporting her.
You do that for Mom, and you’re happy.
What?
I admire that.
I really admire how you’re able to take a back seat to Mom and… and support her right now.
Natalie.
I’m not doing that.
Oh. You’re not?
No. I’m not taking a back seat to anybody.
Natalie…
I’m doing something that’s beyond what anybody could ever dream of.
[sighs] Natalie…
I’m uncovering a vast criminal conspiracy.
[chuckles]
What are you talking about, Dad?
I’m not joking, I’m serious.
I’m dead serious.
I think a chair company… might be being used as a front to smuggle opioids into the country by a major pharmaceutical company.
How do you know that?
This morning, Natalie, I took apart one of the chairs.
I went through every part of it. I ripped it to shreds, and I found something.
There’s a part missing.
Ever since 1972, most chairs have a horizontal hydraulic lever at the base of the chair. And this article I found about it says that this chair part is called the chair appendix.
Well, the Tecca chair that I took apart has a hole for the chair appendix, but there’s no appendix in there. That means it’s coming into the factory with the part and then somebody’s taking it out.
Why?
Well, the chair parts that are in the Tecca chair, they’re made in Hungary.
And that’s weird for chair parts. Most chair parts come from other places in the world.
But Hungary is famous for one thing.
They’re the biggest producers of thebaine, which they make OxyContin and Oxycodone from.
And thebaine can be like a little poppy brush, like a little stick which could fit in the chair appendix if the chair appendix is hollow. And the CFO of the parent company of Tecca, this guy right here, Ken Tucker, he’s on the board of several other businesses.
One of ’em is Brucell Pharma.
I think they’re smuggling thebaine in through the damn chairs to get around the FDA and customs.
No regulations.
Chairs are everywhere.
They’re invisible.
They’re nothing.
Nobody thinks about ’em.
It’s perfect for an oxythebaine stick, a poppy brush, perfect!
Wow.
Can I see your phone?
Yeah, absolutely.
It’s a little wet.
I’ve been squeezing it.
Oh.
Holy shit, Dad, that’s so smart.
How did you figure this out?
Just figured it out ’cause I saw that.
H-Have you told Mom?
Not yet.
I’ve only told you so far.
I don’t wanna worry her.
It just… it just seems really intense, Dad.
Yeah, it could be huge.
[softly] Well…
I just want you to know…
I love you, I trust you, and I got you.
Oh, I mean, I love you, I trust you, and I got you.
[chuckles] Oh, jeez.
Oh, my God! What the hell are you doing to me?
Don’t say that shit.
I love you so much.
I love you, too.
Alright, now I gotta go to be a hero to Mom.
Mm.
Bye, Natalie.
Bye. [chuckles]
[♪ Joyous music playing]
What part were you?
‘Cause you were looking at me.
I was looking at you when you were telling that story about Seth.
About Seth.
[George] And I thought she was gonna cry.
[Barb] Well, you know, I really felt like I was gonna cry because I was really feeling it.
Excuse me.
Yeah, because you knew what you were doing.
[Barb] Well, I…
[George] You knew exactly what you were doing.
[Barb] You know what, I did.
[Steven] [on phone] Ron, this is Steven. I found him. I got Ken Tucker right here!
[George and Barb chattering indistinctly]
Honey, I’m so sorry.
I have to go.
There’s a work thing.
Okay. You okay?
Yeah, everything’s good.
Everything’s good.
I just gotta handle it right now.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, of course. Okay.
Good night.
Alright, good night. Good night, see ya, George.
[♪ Dramatic music playing]
[music stops abruptly]
[♪ “Love Brought Me Such a Magical
Thing” by Bay City Rollers playing]
If I don’t figure this out, I’m absolutely fucked.
What do I do?
What the hell do I do?
Add more jeeps, buy more land.
I might… I think I might even get a little more property.
Put some more shit on it.
What else is there?
There’s nothing there.
There’s nothing there.
Just driving around.
You get it. You understand.
[Barb] [sighs] It’s okay.
He’s gonna come out of it.
All we can do is tell him that we love him, we trust him… and we got him.
♪ It’s not the words
you quietly whisper to me ♪
♪ The way you say them
leaves them far behind ♪
♪ Sometimes it’s
so difficult to find ♪
♪ A way to tell you truly ♪
♪ It seems you kind of
did it to me ♪
♪ Love brought me
such a magical thing ♪
♪ And left me new ♪
♪ Love brought me
such a magical thing ♪
♪ And gave me you ♪
♪ Love brought me
such a magical thing ♪
♪ And left me new,
love brought me… ♪
