Smiling Friends
Season 3
Smiling Friends – S03E01 – Silly Samuel | Transcript
Original release date: October 5, 2025
Plot: The Smiling Friends get a call from a ridiculous-looking man named Silly Samuel (Conner O’Malley), who is upset that no one takes him seriously due to his bizarre appearance. Pim and Charlie’s various attempts to help him fail, as he is unable to get plastic surgery and is unwilling to become a circus performer. Meanwhile, a building inspector performs a surprise inspection of the Smiling Friends office, during which a nail which keeps the building in place is released, causing it to roll down the street towards a nearby park full of onlookers laughing at Silly Samuel who he subsequently attempts to warn. Glep stops the building before it crushes anyone; realizing that he was telling the truth, the onlookers proclaim Silly Samuel as a “prophet”. As they carry him off, the building inspector thanks Mr. Boss for the tour before turning into dust.
In a post-credits scene, Mr. Boss and the Friends attempt to put the office back into its place, but let go of it and cause it to roll down the streets again, ultimately deciding to give up and go out for ribs.
♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
Oh, hey, boys!
Hello.
Hey. What’s up, man?
I just got a call from a crazy character named Silly Samuel.
I forgot exactly what his problem was because he was so silly, but he’s waiting for you guys at 123 Wacky Way.
Ooh! That sounds fun!
I love silly characters.
Me too, Pim! Me too!
Totally off-topic, Mr. Boss, but I’m just curious, have you ever, like, messed up doing that knife thing before?
Nope, and I can go even quicker than this.
You really don’t have to.
No, yeah, it’s fine, really.
We can go on the job now.
I can go faster!
I can go faster!
I can go faster!
I can go faster!
I can go faster!
(SCREAMS) (BUILDING RUMBLING) All right, this is it.
123 Wacky Way.
(GUNSHOTS) Pim, there’s no way this is right.
(SIRENS WAILING) I guess it’s kind of wacky.
Hey! Get off my property!
Oh, sorry. Um..
You wouldn’t happen to be Silly Samuel, would you?
Yeah, no shit.
Who else would I be?
Who are you?
Dude, we’re the Smiling Friends.
You literally just called us.
Oh, yeah, I forgot! Oh!
Fuck!
I gotta go make breakfast. Shit.
(SLIDE WHISTLE WHISTLING) (HONKING) (SLIDE WHISTLE WHISTLING) (SAUSAGE THUDS) (LAUGHS) That was funny.
(GRUNTS, COUGHS)
I’m not trying to be funny, dude, okay?
This is the exact reason I called you guys!
No one takes me seriously!
For some reason, everybody just laughs at me for being myself.
I’ve lost all my friends, I can’t keep a job, I’m eating silly sausages off the hood of my shitbox Corolla.
Please help me!
Oh, don’t worry, Silly Samuel.
By the end of the day, we’ll have you smiling again.
I mean, dude, if you want to be taken seriously, I feel like there’s, like, a really obvious solution here.
What do you mean?
The
Your look!
Your entire look. Your name.
Your name is Silly Samuel.
You have a cuckoo clock for a hat.
Like, have you ever thought that maybe that’s why people don’t take you seriously?
Oh.
I never thought about that.
Well, look, as funny as you are, maybe that’s the first place we can start.
Sweet. Yeah, no…
I guess we could try that.
We could take my car.
(EXPLOSION)
I’m bored.
(ALLAN RED HUMMING)
What is up, Allan?
I’m cleaning.
Yo, let’s do something, man!
Let’s go for a drive or something!
No, thank you.
Why don’t you ask Glep?
Oh, he’s taking a nap.
Yeah, I tried to poke at him, wake him up.
Little son of a bitch snapped up and bit me on my hand.
Caught me good too.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
(GUEST GRUNTS)
Hello.
I’m with the city and I’m here for a random inspection.
Uh, for what?
It’s a standard random inspection just to make sure the building is all up to code.
It’ll only take a moment.
Cool! Can you give me a sec?
♪ (EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Allan, we are so fucked.
Why?
I built this office 30 years ago without any permission from the city and used cheap laborers from the Enchanted Forest to do it.
This building is a fucking mess.
It violates every code in the books.
You really thought it was legal to build a giant yellow smiley face between two buildings?
I don’t know.
Do you realize?
Do you realize something?
If we fail this inspection, we could lose our office and we’d have to move out of it?
No.
Don’t worry, Allan.
Your favorite boss has a little trick up his sleeve.
♪ (MUSIC ENDS ABRUPTLY) ♪
Come on in!
Oh!
Thank you, darling.
(PATIENT GRUNTING)
Don’t worry, this is the best doctor in the whole land.
He’ll be able to look at your situation and see what to do.
(SIGHS) There’s nothing we can do here, guys, I gotta be honest with you.
What?
Yeah, we ran a lot of tests and unfortunately there’s just nothing we can do to change your appearance.
Um, for example, see this right here?
You have what I would call a major artery.
Starts right here around the crab claw.
Yeah, look right here.
Goes all the way up through your cheese body, straight up to the cuckoo clock on top of your head. See that?
So, if we tried to modify your body in any way, you would die instantly.
(SCOFFS) Great! Awesome!
Another win for Silly Samuel!
(SCREAMS)
Okay, could we at least, like, put clothes on top, like, over his skin, like, whatever that is?
Just, like, on top of it?
No, absolutely not.
He actually breathes through the silly skin here, so any kind of clothing will kill him.
Okay, well I guess I’m all out of ideas then.
I–
You’re just stuck looking silly, dude. I’m sorry, man.
Hmm. Well, if we can’t change the way you look, why don’t you try to embrace your silliness?
Huh! Okay.
Let me think about it.
Oh, “embrace my silly” No, how about go fuck–
Fuck you, man!
Fuck you, man!
There’s nothing silly about me!
(CUCKOO CLOCK CUCKOOS)
(DOCTOR GRUNTS) Oh my God. Dude, are you okay?
What the fuck? No, I’m not okay.
Get the fuck out of my office.
Dude, I think that was an accident.
Get out!
We’ll go, we’ll go.
Security!
No, no!
No need to call security!
Janet, call security!
Okay, okay.
We’re going. It’s all right.
We’re leaving. We get it.
(GUESTS SCREAMING, LAUGHING)
♪ (CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(SIGHS)
All right, Silly Samuel.
This group is called the Three Weird Willies.
They’ve made a whole career out of being strange and silly.
Maybe they can inspire you to do something similar.
(MUMBLING)
Yeah, maybe I should try that.
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Three Weird Willies!
(CROWD CHEERING)
We love you Weird Willies!
Hi, I’m Weird Willy One.
I’m the alpha of the group.
And we are the Weird Willies!
And we are the Weird Willies!
♪ (SILLY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(CROWD CHEERING)
(GROANS)
Okay, we need a volunteer from the audience to complete our trick.
(OVERLAPPING CHEERING, SHOUTING)
How about you? You look weird.
Doesn’t he look weird, kiddies?
CROWD: Yeah!
(SCREAMS)
You just dislocated my arm!
(CROWD LAUGHING)
Hey, where do you think you’re going?
I said get off me!
(CROWD GASPS)
(WEIRD WILLIES SHOUTING)
(CROWD SCREAMING, SHOUTING)
(GROANING, MOANING)
I’ll just check the walls to make sure they’re the proper wall material, yes.
I don’t know what that is.
(FAUCET RUMBLING)
Oh, yeah, that… that’s Allan’s red juice.
INSPECTOR: Hmm.
♪ (EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(CREATURES SNARLING)
(SHOUTING, GROWLING)
Hmm. Interesting.
All right, time to execute my trick.
No, mis
Whoa.
Mr. Boss, what are you doing?
I’m saving my building, Allan!
No, Mr. Boss…
♪ (EERIE MUSIC ENDS ABRUPTLY) ♪
Great! I guess no one will ever take me seriously. Ever.
Awesome! Great! Awesome!
(HONKS)
Yo, dude, I really hate to ask this, I seriously do, but I’m starting to crash kind of hard right now, just ’cause we’ve been walking around and I haven’t gotten food all day.
If… if with full due respect to you, uh, sir, if you could just make me literally one more silly sausage, I’d be so… I’d be–that would be enough to get me ’til dinner.
What? What the fuck is wrong with you two?
Oh, hey, calm down, dude.
Yeah, we’re just trying to help.
Help?
I called you to make me smile, and I’ve never felt worse in my entire fucking life!
You both fucking suck at your job!
Asking me about silly sausages after you failed me?
Yo, what the fuck is wrong with you?
You guys are just like everybody else.
You don’t take me fucking seriously!
(LAUGHS) What the hell?
This guy is freaking out.
Fuck you! Fuck you all!
(CROWD LAUGHS) I don’t care if you people don’t like me!
I don’t care. I
I–
You people have broken me!
I don’t care if you laugh at me!
I’m going to speak my mind!
This country is failing!
♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(WHISPERS) Stop, Mr. Boss! No!
(WHISPERS) Let me go, Allan.
INSPECTOR: Oh my God!
♪ (MUSIC ENDS ABRUPTLY) ♪
What’s this?
Oh, that? That’s just the nail that holds the entire building to the ground.
Very funny. (LAUGHS) No, I’m serious.
(RUMBLING)
♪ (EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Deus misereatur nostri.
There are microplastics in every man’s balls…
(CROWD LAUGHING) …and we consume pollution all day.
Fuck you! (GROANS) Everything fucking sucks!
You fucking people suck!
(LAUGHS)
He’s so silly! He’s so silly!
(SCREAMING)
I’m not joking!
I’m being serious!
(SCREAMING)
♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Whoa! Hey, guys!
Guys, look behind you!
Everyone get out of the way.
Run! Run!
There’s a giant yellow ball coming towards us!
(LAUGHS)
He’s so funny and silly!
(SHRIEKS)
Please, seriously, run!
Get out of the way, please!
(SCREAMING)
(LAUGHING)
♪ (MUSIC ENDS ABRUPTLY) ♪
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
(LAUGHING)
Oh my God.
There was a giant yellow ball that was about to crush us.
If he was right about that, then… was he right about everything else he was saying?
That means everything he’s ever said or will say is true!
Yes! He’s a prophet! He’s a god!
(CHEERING)
Yes, finally!
I’m being taken seriously!
He’s our new god.
We shall dedicate a religion to him.
CROWD: Silly Sam! Silly Sam!
Silly Sam! Silly Sam!
Silly Sam! Silly Sam!
Silly Sam! Silly Sam!
(LAUGHS) Yeah!
CROWD: Silly Sam! Silly Sam!
So, how did I do?
I’m gonna lose the building, aren’t I?
You aced it.
Really?
Yeah, you guys made me laugh.
That was
That was awesome.
Yes.
Wow, so my building is perfectly safe?
Fuck no, it’s the worst building I’ve seen in my entire life and you failed miserably.
But that skeleton in the wall was… that was funny shit.
I had a good time hanging out with you guys.
We should really do this again and be best friends.
Cool. So, that’s it?
Hello?
Oh my gosh.
Yo, guys, it’s me, Charlie.
Hey, did that guy just turn into sand?
Yeah, what was that?
I’m not sure.
♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
All right boys, let’s get this puppy back into place. On three. Ready?
PIM PIMLING: All right, let’s go.
ALL: One, two, three.
Go, go! Push, push, push, push!
(ALL GRUNTING) No, no, no, no, no!
No. Oh, no.
(SIGHS) (GROANS) Oh, fuck it. Let’s just go get some ribs or something.
Yeah, good idea.
Yeah, I’ll do some ribs.
* * *
Smiling Friends – S03E02 – Le Voyage Incroyable De Monsieur Grenouille | Transcript
Original release date: October 12, 2025
Plot: After Mr. Frog is declared supreme emperor of the planet, he finds himself dissatisfied and resigns as president. Pim and Charlie find him depressed in a bar and offer to help him smile again. Frog joins the Ultimate Fighting Championship, killing all of his opponents without even fighting. At a park, Pim sings a song about life’s pleasures, including family. Frog, inspired by the song, assaults Pim before traveling to his father’s remote cabin to reconnect with him. Frog’s father (Creed Bratton) reveals that Frog’s mother has recently died of cancer, then berates Frog for abandoning his family after becoming famous and orders him out. While meditating in the forest, Mr. Frog achieves inner peace and subsequently enters a realm where he meets a fly who calls itself the Bug of Knowledge. After eating the bug, Mr. Frog experiences a series of visions highlighting significant moments in his life and career. He transforms into a photorealistic frog, smiles, and says, “Goodbye.”
In a post-credits scene, Pim returns to the Smiling Friends office, now disfigured as a result of Frog’s attack.
♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
♪ (FANFARE PLAYING) ♪
(GLASS SMASHING) (GUNSHOT)
(OBJECTS RATTLING, SMASHING)
Oh, hello.
Mr. President, sir, we did everything you said and we’re happy to report that the final pockets of resistance were successfully terminated.
Every country at the United Nations has officially surrendered and declared you the supreme emperor of Earth.
Hello, what does that mean?
You won.
There’s literally nothing left for you to do.
You completely and totally won.
(FIRE CRACKLING) Oh.
What’s wrong, sir?
This sucks now.
I quit. Fuck you.
(OBJECTS SMASH) (DESK THUDS) Wait, since you ate your vice president, who should take your place?
Um… uh, what about that peanut?
(DOOR SLAMS) ALL: President Peanut!
President Peanut!
All hail the Peanut!
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
So what’s got you down today, sir?
I can’t see anything!
I don’t know why!
Help me, please!
I’m freaking out!
Uh, have you tried just moving your hands away from your eyes?
♪ (MAJESTIC TUNE PLAYS, FADES) ♪
Oh my God! I can see!
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
No problem, man.
Ha. Glad to help.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
♪ Ladadadadadadadada ♪
Man, that guy had a pure heart of gold, Pim.
I don’t say it that often, but that guy had a pure, pure heart of bullion gold, man.
Yeah, he was a lovely man.
He really was.
Hey, by the way, do you want to get lunch?
Yeah, sure.
There’s a bar nearby that does really good meatloaf, man.
Th
The way they get the slime is just, they get it perfect.
Oh, it’s so good.
♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
♪ Dust in the wind ♪
What you looking at, baby?
♪ Dust in the wind ♪
♪ Everything is dust
In the wind ♪
All right, man. Nice job.
Wait, is that Mr. Frog?
Yeah, man. It looks like he’s just enjoying himself now after walking away from being the most powerful man on the planet.
Hmm. I don’t know.
He looks pretty sad to me.
Should we go see if he’s all right?
Nah, dude, he’ll be all right.
He’s Mr. Frog.
Hey, man, I’m sorry to interrupt you, bro.
I just wanted to tell you, like, I’m a huge fan, bro.
The TV stuff, the presidency, everything you ever did, man.
Like, you want to fuck my girlfriend?
(GIGGLES SOFTLY)
(GROANS) Oh, I can’t be bothered.
Hey, the offer still stands, amigo.
Look, that’s us.
Room 302. Up to you, man.
Maybe you’re right, Pim.
I think something’s wrong with Mr. Frog.
Hi, Mr. Frog.
Uh, I don’t know if you remember us, but we helped you out a while back.
Oh, hello.
Mr. Frog, sir, if I could ask, like, what’s wrong with you, man?
You used to be at the top of the world.
Oh, I don’t know.
I feel empty for some reason.
Well, maybe it’s because you’ve achieved everything possible in life, and now it seems like there’s nothing left to do.
But that’s okay, because Charlie and I can help you.
Um…
Did you want us to help you, or…?
No, yeah, I do, I
I was just…
Okay.
Yeah, please, hello.
Cool. I have an idea for something we could do.
♪ (EPIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(CROWD CHEERING)
All right, Mr. Frog, listen up.
All we got to do to make you feel better is give you a new goal, okay?
A new challenge, a new thing to get into and rise the ranks of and master and dominate!
All right?
Uh, okay.
That’s the spirit!
Yeah! Yeah! (SOFTLY) Yeah.
ANNOUNCER: And in our left corner we have ex-television star, richest man in the world, and former emperor of Earth…
(YAWNS)
ANNOUNCER: …Mr. Frog!
(CROWD SCREAMING, CHEERING)
ANNOUNCER: In our other corner we have the most violent, mentally ill…
(GRUNTING)
ANNOUNCER: …psychopathic maniac on the planet, The Insanely Crazy Lunatic!
(GROWLING, SNARLING)
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
(GROWLING)
(BONE SNAPS)
(CROWD GASPING)
ANNOUNCER: What? No!
Send in more fighters!
Release them!
(FIGHTERS SCREAMING)
(FIGHTERS GROANING)
(CROWD CHEERING)
(GASPS)
Damn, dude, you literally didn’t throw a single punch, and you became the number one UFC champion on your first and your only fight.
I mean, like, I get how you’re depressed.
That’s crazy. That’s…
I mean, the medals are nice, though.
I like how shiny…
They’re, you know, just–
They’re kind of nice to look at.
I don’t even want these.
Can I have them?
Okay, that’s fine.
Look, Mr. Frog, achieving goals is good for getting you out of bed in the morning, but it’s not the only thing that brings happiness.
There are other things, too.
What do you mean, hello?
Well, let me show you.
♪ (CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
♪ If you’re feeling down
Maybe you need ♪
♪ To check and see
If you’ve got all you need ♪
♪ How about friends?
You’ve got me and Charlie ♪
♪ And we’ll be
Nice friends to you ♪
♪ What about love?
Another thing that’s good ♪
(COUPLE MOANING)
♪ Love makes the world
Feel yummy and good ♪
♪ And what about family?
Family is key ♪
♪ Look at this little family
Of bees ♪
♪ There are so many… ♪
(GRUNTS) Oh my God, dude!
Dude, Pim, are you okay, man?
Family?
Pim! Pim!
I don’t know who you are, but I think you’ve helped me.
(PIM SOBBING) Thank you.
Pim, listen to me.
I need you to stay with me, dude.
How many fingers am I holding up?
Can you see?
♪ (OPTIMISTIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
♪ (MYSTICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
FATHER FROG: Oh. Hello, Son.
Hello, Dad.
(INHALES DEEPLY, SIGHS)
I suppose you want to come in.
Yes, please.
(WATER RUNNING)
FATHER: You still taste sugar?
No, thank you.
I’m trying to watch my figure.
FATHER: Haven’t heard from you in a while.
Yeah, I
I’ve been busy.
FATHER: You know, your mother passed away three months ago…
Cancer.
(CLOCK TICKING)
She asked about you.
Everyone does.
Saw you on that TV show eating that bug or whatever it was.
Then we all saw you become president.
Everyone said to me, “Oh, how’s your boy doing?
You must be so proud of him.”
I would nod my head, but I didn’t have the heart to tell them I was embarrassed.
Embarrassed to see you on that TV screen, making a fool of yourself, making a fool of the Frog name.
Do you have any idea, any idea how hard it’s been for me?
I’m sorry.
(SCREAMING) Sorry?
Be sorry for your poor mother, whose last words were, “Where is he?
Where’s my boy? Where’s my boy?”
No, no!
You walked out on this family, and now you come back?
Now you have the nerve to show your face around here?
You’re a disgrace!
Get out of my house!
(CLOCK TICKING)
I have no son.
(SOBS)
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
(GROANS)
(GRUNTS)
(PANTS, SCREAMS)
(SOBS)
Hello.
The silence is… nice.
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
♪ (MUSIC TURNS PEACEFUL) ♪
Hello, Mr. Frog.
You did it.
You’ve achieved inner peace.
Hello. Who are you?
I am the Bug of Knowledge.
I have all the answers to all of life’s questions.
But before I reveal them, there is something I must ask you.
Um, okay.
My computer’s been acting really slow lately, and I’m just going around asking anybody who can help.
I mean, anybody who can help, um, with my computer, because it’s a real prob–
I need-I need it for work.
Um, maybe it’s a virus?
No, no, I called Geek Squad and they said it was–
They checked it out and they said it wasn’t a virus, so I know it’s not that.
I know it’s not that.
Um, but…
Is it… But…
Oh, sorry, you go.
Sorry.
You go. You go.
Uh, I don’t know, II really have no idea.
Yeah, me neither. I don’t know.
I honestly don’t know.
Um… I mean, when I say… when I say, uh, brow-like, slow browser, does that scream software to you or a hardware problem?
Oh, I don’t know.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
No, that’s cool, man. I fi– I mean, I figured.
I appreciate the help anyways.
I mean, I’ll probably just need a whole new computer at this point.
Hello, what am I doing here?
Oh, yeah.
You just need to eat me and all will be clear.
Okay.
♪ (SPIRITUAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪
(CHEWING)
♪ (EPIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
♪ (PEACEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(FROGS CROAKING)
(PANTS) Goodbye.
Dude, I’m just letting you know right now he looks a little bit different, but don’t
don’t react.
Don’t react.
Please try not to react.
Oh, wow.
Thanks for the heads up.
Yeah, I
I think
I think the swelling is still there, so just, I mean, again, just be ready for it.
Hey, guys.
Hey, man.
Pim! Hey, how you doing, buddy?
Is it bad?
No, dude, it’s fine, it’s fine.
No, I didn’t even notice.
Thanks, guys.
I’m the same old Pim on the inside. (CHUCKLES) Yo, you guys see Pim’s new fucking head on Facebook? Oh!
* * *
Smiling Friends – S03E03 – Mole Man | Transcript
Original release date: October 19, 2025
Plot: Pim and Charlie fall through a sinkhole in the office and become trapped in the lair of Mole Man, who has become obsessed with the duo after overhearing their banter over the years. Mole Man prods the duo to compliment his penis, which he is deeply insecure about. Charlie refuses, causing a hysterical Mole Man to chase them through a series of underground tunnels. Meanwhile, Mr. Boss christens Glep and Allan the “new Smiling Friends” upon learning that Pim and Charlie likely did not survive the fall, and sends them on a job to help a single mother, Maurine, with her triplets. The children wreak havoc until Pim, Charlie, and Mole Man emerge from a vent in Maurine’s house as she returns. Mole Man inadvertently exposes himself to her, but she finds his penis attractive. He agrees to marry her and stepfather her children, renouncing his obsession with the Smiling Friends, who agree that Mole Man’s penis is rather unassuming and not “disgusting” as he had led them to believe.
In a post-credits scene, Mr. Boss dances in place in front of the office, not reacting when the Friends return and announce that Pim and Charlie are still alive.
♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
(HAWK SCREECHES) (SCREAMS)
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING OVER TV) ♪
Mr. Ventura, how do you justify your insanity and being wrong about everything?
Excuse me, I saw the tape of President Shrimp being shot.
Okay, I’m an expert marksman, and I couldn’t have made the shot.
He’s right, Pim.
I mean, like, if you really think about it, he’s right.
Can we change it back to the funny cat compilation we had on, Charlie?
Wait, dude, just tell me, explain to me, how did the magic bullet go through President Shrimp’s head, into the governor in front of him, then into the driver to the left of them, then behind him into his wife, and then back into President Shrimp’s head?
(HESITATES) Explain that to me, man.
I don’t… I don’t know.
I don’t like to think about that stuff, Charlie, to be honest.
Dude, I’m just asking–
(PIM PIMLING SCREAMS)
(CHARLIE DOMPLER SCREAMS)
(HIGHPITCHED SCREAM)
Glep, what happened in here?
There was a big noise.
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
What’s that?
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH) The floor collapsed?
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
Pim and Charlie fell down into it?
(IN FEMALE VOICE) Oh, my God!
Somebody call the police!
(PHONE BUTTONS BEEPING)
(LINE RINGING)
♪ (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(OVERHEAD LIGHT CREAKING)
(GROANS, PANTS)
Charlie?
Charlie, wake up.
(GROANS) Are we dead?
Am… Am I in hell again?
♪ (EERIE MUSIC STING) ♪
PIM: Oh, my gosh.
Are those photos of… us?
Is that really what I look like?
Man, I need to lose weight fucking immediately.
That is really, really bad, dude.
(FOOTSTEPS PATTERING) Huh?
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC STING) ♪
Who are you?
Me?
Oh, me?
I am Mole Man.
And can I just say, I’m so honored to finally have the Pim and Charlie in my cool fucking mole hole?
Do you like it?
Uh… Yeah.
Uh, yeah. It’s, like, a standard mole hole.
Wait, also, how do you know our names?
Oh, I know everything about you two.
You see, in the beginning…
♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
…I lived a simple and peaceful life in my mole hole…
(LOUD CRASHING, RUMBLING)
…until that building of yours was erected right above my head and ruined everything.
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
MOLE MAN: At first, listening to you two babble on and on and on nearly drove me to madness.
But then something strange began to happen.
I started getting used to your talking and silly shenanigans, and then I even started to grow accustomed to it.
What once was a passionate hatred became a craving.
In your absence, I felt incomplete, so I began tunneling around with my mole abilities, following you wherever you went, admiring you from afar.
Yes, I’ve been there the entire time, Pim and Charlie.
All of your jokes, all of your banter, all of your filthy little secrets.
I was there for it all.
♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪
And now you’re finally here, and I can have you all to my mole self.
Well, that’s a lovely story, Mr. Mole Man, but you didn’t have to capture us and tie us up.
You could have just come and talked to us.
Oh, that’s nice of you to say, Pim.
But unfortunately, I cannot go to the surface because everyone will see my disgusting penis.
Uh, I mean, just don’t show it.
(LAUGHS) A classic Charlie line.
I knew you’d say a funny, quippy line like that.
How cute, how quaint, how interesting, how cool, how queer, how funny, how silly, how–
Dude, what do you want with us?
I just want you to be yourselves.
♪ (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(ROCK RUMBLING)
MOLE MAN: Behold!
(GASPS)
♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪
You didn’t just see my penis, did you?
No, I was looking at the thing you just revealed.
I was
I didn’t even see it.
Yeah. Same.
I was just looking at the building.
Are you sure you didn’t see my penis when I went, whoop!
Like that? No?
Whoop! Like that? No, huh?
You didn’t see it then?
Whoop! Watch out. There it is.
So? Any luck?
Yeah, look, unfortunately, that sinkhole completely closed up.
Even if we did retrieve their bodies, they would look like ground beef.
Which, I mean, may sound delicious, but would be very scary for you to see.
Yeah, no, that… that does sound delicious, but, yeah, I get… I get what you mean.
FIREFIGHTER: All right, have a nice day.
(ENGINES RUMBLING)
I can’t believe it.
They’re really gone.
My boys!
Smiling Friends is over! (SOBS) You’ve still got Glep and I, Mr. Boss.
(SOBBING, SNIFFING)
Wait… (SNIFFS) …Allan, what if you and Glep were the new Smiling Friends?
Um, okay.
Woohoo!
The Smiling Friends are back!
♪ (TRIUMPHANT FANFARE PLAYS) ♪
(PANTS SOFTLY)
I thought I already was a Smiling Friend.
(GRUNTS, PANTS SOFTLY)
All right, go.
What… What do you mean?
Just, you know, do funny stuff. (CHUCKLES) Do your classic realistic dialogue with each other.
Uh, hi, Pim.
How are you do– How are you doing?
Uh, I’m good, Charlie.
Uh… how are you doing?
(DOOR RATTLING)
MOLE MAN: Fucking stupid thing.
(APPLAUSE PLAYS OVER TAPE RECORDER) Yo, yo. What’s up, my fellow coworkers?
(GRUNTS) Hey, yo, guys, I’ve got a good one.
What would you do if a fucking gnome just ran in here all of a sudden and started going… (BABBLES) What would you do?
What would you say?
Would you just want to smash it with a hammer or what?
(PLATE SHATTERS LOUDLY)
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
That was really fun, Mole Man.
You’re great at this. Uh…
I think we can call it a day now and go back–
Oh, you guys. (SHUSHES) I hear someone coming.
(SPITS)
MOLE MAN: (MIMICKING MR. BOSS) You boys have a job
(AUDIO GLITCHES)
(EXPLOSION)
Ah!
Did you hear that, guys?
We’ve got a job to go on.
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
The three Smiling Friends have a job.
A job. A job to go on.
Let’s go on a job!
♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
All right, Glep.
This is very important.
We can’t screw this up.
Eh.
Hello, we’re the Smooling Fronds.
Fuck!
Oh, wonderful! Please, come in.
I’ve been so depressed ever since my husband ran out on me and my beautiful triplets.
I just need someone to look after them while I go to work.
Yeah, sure, we can do that.
Great! There’s a lasagna in the freezer and instructions in the fridge. Goodbye!
So, do you want the lasagna now?
(BABBLES, GIGGLES) Ow! My foot!
(BABBLING EXCITEDLY)
(GRUNTS) Glep!
(TRIPLETS BABBLING, PANTING)
(TRIPLET 2 GRUMBLING)
Ow! (GROANS LOUDLY)
(TRIPLETS BABBLING EXCITEDLY)
(FOOTSTEPS PATTERING)
All right, here we are.
We’re gonna make someone smile.
Yay.
Um, who… who are we supposed to be helping?
(FOOTSTEPS PATTERING)
Oh, you came just in time.
I need you to help me smile because I’m afraid people will see my disgusting penis.
Oh, sorry to hear that, Mr. Mole Man.
I personally think your penis is very nice and not disgusting at all.
(PANTS) Really? Oh, wow.
Thank you, kind stranger.
Wow, that’s very nice of you to say.
What do you think, Pim and Charlie?
What do you think of his penis?
I mean, yeah, I think it’s…
Yep.
Oh, thank you.
And what about you, sir?
Yeah, what do you think about his penis, Charlie?
I… (HESITATES) No. No, I’m not commenting on that.
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
My heroes don’t like my penis?
They hate my penis?
No. (BABBLING ANGRILY)
(OBJECTS CRASHING)
♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪
(GROANS)
(TRIPLETS BABBLING EXCITEDLY)
(GRUNTS) Ow!
(GLASS SHATTERS)
(GROANS) Glep?
(TRIPLETS BABBLING EXCITEDLY)
(WATER SLOSHING)
Hey! Turn that off!
(YELLS)
(LOUD POP) (TRIPLET 1 BABBLES)
(ROCKS CRASHING, THUDDING)
(YELLING HYSTERICALLY)
Charlie, I’m really scared.
How are we gonna get out of here?
It’s all right, Pim.
Let’s just think.
What would WWE star and former governor of Minnesota, Jesse Ventura, do?
(ECHOING) Charlie, you’re being psychologically manipulated.
The answer’s been in front of you the whole time.
Just like 9/11.
Oh, wait.
(MOLE MAN YELLING HYSTERICALLY)
Pim, these are flimsy tree roots.
We could’ve just broken out of these the whole time.
Oh, yeah, you’re right.
(ROCKS CRASHING, THUDDING)
(ROARS, PANTS)
(BOTH PANTING)
♪ (INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Oh no! Which way do we go?
(MOLE MAN GRUNTING ANGRILY)
Uh, that way!
(ROARS)
(BOTH SCREAM)
(GROWLS)
(PANTS)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER TV)
♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪
(MUFFLED FOOTSTEPS, SCREAMS)
What the hell?
Vivianne! Get in here!
Little colorful characters are running around in the vents!
I’m sure there are.
All right, just go to sleep.
(GROANS) (PANTS) (GROWLS)
♪ (INTENSE MUSIC RESUMES) ♪
(GROWLS) (BOTH PANTING)
♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪
How dare you run away from me, you ungrateful little twats?
(ALLAN RED SCREAMING)
Wait, that sounded like Allan.
(TRIPLETS BABBLING)
(FOOTSTEPS PATTERING)
(GRUNTS, PANTS)
(GRUNTS)
Allan, Glep, what are you guys doing here?
Pim? Charlie? You’re alive?
(ROARS)
(TRIPLETS SCREAM)
Ah, I’ve got you now!
Oh. (CHUCKLES) Allan and Glep.
You’re not even technically Smiling Friends, but I’ll kill you anyway.
Fuck you.
♪ (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
♪ (MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY) ♪
(LOCK RATTLES)
I’m home!
(SCREAMS)
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC STING) ♪
Oh, sorry! I… I didn’t mean to show you that.
Um… So sorry, I know it’s disgusting. I’m sorry.
(BIRDS CHIRPING) No, I… I love it.
Really?
Yeah, I really do.
My name’s Maurine, by the way.
Oh, that’s awesome.
I’m Mole Man, and you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life.
Um…
Hey… maybe this is crazy, but… do you want to marry me and be the father of my triplets?
Yes, I do!
Oh, hooray!
Children, come in here!
Meet your new Moledaddy!
(TRIPLETS CHEER, BABBLE)
I spent my whole life obsessing over Pim and Charlie, but this is my new obsession now.
Fuck Pim and Charlie!
I have a family now.
♪ (HAPPY MUSIC PLAYS, FADES) ♪
You know, I just gotta say, uh, we avoided seeing it the whole time, Pim, and I just saw it right there, and it was not as bad as I thought–
It looked pretty good from what I thought it’d be.
The penis?
Yeah, I saw it too.
Yeah, it looked good.
Looked like a good penis. Yeah.
‘Cause he hyped it up and said it would be horrible, and said it would be ugly.
I thought it looked delicious.
What’s that?
I thought the penis looked delicious.
♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
(FEET TAPPING)
(PANTING SOFTLY)
Mr. Boss, Pim and Charlie didn’t die.
They were alive the whole time.
(GRUNTS, PANTS SOFTLY)
* * *
Smiling Friends – S03E04 – Curse of the Green Halloween Witch | Transcript
Original release date: November 2, 2025
Plot: The Friends contemplate what to order for lunch, repeatedly ignoring Pim when he suggests pizza. A mysterious green-skinned witch then arrives at the office asking for change. Pim tries to give it to her, but the other Friends refuse, and she curses them. The power then goes out, and the Friends undergo some disturbing changes – Glep is possessed, Charlie melts, Allan turns into a spider, and Mr. Boss is taunted by an apparition of his deceased mother. Encouraged by demons who insist that the others do not respect him, Pim goes into a blind rage and murders the Friends. This is all then revealed to be a vision the witch is showing them from her orb to demonstrate what will happen if they do not give her money. Mr. Boss chokes her, and Charlie apologizes to Pim for his earlier behavior. Spider Allan returns with pizza, to the confusion of regular Allan and the others, only for him and Mr. Boss to be run over by cars.
Post-credits scene : The witch returns home, where her boyfriend comforts her as she cries, but asks if she will still perform oral sex on him later.
♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
(CHAINSAW REVVING)
(PANICKED YELPS)
♪ (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(WHIMPERS)
(GROWLS, SNARLS)
(SCREAMS)
(GASPS, WHIMPERS)
(EVIL LAUGHTER)
(CHAINSAW REVVING)
(VICTIM SCREAMING)
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
Ah, that was pretty good!
(SPEAKS GIBBERISH)
I had a feeling you guys would like that.
It’s like one of my favorites, um, I’m glad I got to show it to you.
Holy shit, dude. No, like, dude, that was freaking awesome.
Guys, everyone stop talking.
Listen, like, that was the best sh
thing I’ve ever seen in my freaking life.
Uh, yeah, man, I’m–
You know, it’s a good movie.
No, no. How do you do that?
Like w
logistically, like, what do you do to make that?
Like, is that-is that like Claymation?
Yeah, I don’t know, man. Uh…
Yeah, it’s, um…
Are you alright, Mr. Boss?
You’re acting a little weird.
Yeah.
Shit, am I acting weird?
Man, I’m sorry.
I smoked a little bit of weed earlier.
I’m being really annoying, aren’t I?
No, you’re good, man.
Just have a
have some water.
(GULPS, SIGHS)
Thank you, Charlie.
All right, I’m gonna order some food.
What does everyone want?
Ooh, how about we get a big pepperoni pizza to share?
Uh… (CLICKS TONGUE) Yeah. Yeah, what is there?
Um, let me think.
Hmm, yeah, what’s good to share?
We could get pizza.
Uh…
I would do Chinese or, like, Thai.
Or what’s-what’s even around here?
Pizz–
Hold on a second, Pim.
We’re trying to order food, man.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
(LIGHTNING STRIKING)
♪ (DARK MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Hello there.
Can you spare a dime for a poor old sexy woman like me?
Oh, yeah, of course.
Can’t help you, sorry.
She giving y’all trouble?
No, it’s cool, Mr. Boss.
She was actually just leaving.
Oh, I damn you!
I damn you! I damn you!
(SPEAKS GIBBERISH)
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Calm down. Calm down.
Whoa! Really scary.
Whoa, what the hell is that?
Shut the fuck up.
What is that?
Stupid lady.
That wasn’t very nice.
Wait, wait. Guys, guys, guys.
I just got an idea.
What if we did pizza?
Th
That was my idea.
Fuck, Charlie, that is such a good idea, dude.
You’re a legit genius, Charlie.
You are a genius.
How do you come up with this stuff, Charlie?
Wow.
I don’t know, man.
My brain just must be supercharged.
I just get, like, wild ideas all the time.
It’s why I can’t sleep, because of my ideas, but I
(ELECTRICITY SHUTTING DOWN)
What happened?
Ugh, must be the damn breaker, that old faulty thing.
Well, gotta go turn it back on.
Pim, why don’t you come along with me, uh, so you can hold my flashlight and be my little flashlight bitch.
Oh, okay, sure.
(GROANS)
Are there any candles we can use in the meantime?
There’s only one left.
I think Glep ate the other ones.
Glep, do you know if there’s any others?
(CRACKING)
♪ (EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Uh, Glep?
(BONES CRACKING)
(DEMONIC GIBBERISH)
That’s scare-eye.
(WATER DRIPPING)
(RAT SQUEAKS)
(SIGHS) It sometimes feels like when I’m speaking, no one’s even listening.
Uh-huh.
♪ (MUSIC INTENSIFIES) ♪
(ELECTRICITY ZAPS) Weird. Somebody must have turned it off.
I’ll just turn it back on.
(ELECTRICITY ZAPS)
(SCREAMS) Mr. Boss!
(BONES CRACKING)
(DEMONIC GIBBERISH)
Glep, are you okay?
(SNARLING) Ah! Get him off me!
Ah! (GROANS) Grab him, he’s going crazy!
I’m
I’m gonna get a broom.
(CHOMPS)
Allan, tie him down!
What’s wrong with Glep?
I think he’s possessed, man, but don’t worry, my uncle taught me exactly what to do in a situation like this.
The power of Christ compels you!
The power of Chri
(SCREAMS) Mr. Boss, wake up! Wake up!
Are you all right?
(GRUNTS SOFTLY)
Something hit me.
What hit me?
You got zapped by the breaker when you tried to turn it on.
(EXHALES) Who said that?
♪ (EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Mama?
You abandoned your mommy!
No! I’m sorry, Mommy!
I’m sorry, Mommy!
(WAILS) Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!
(ALARM BLARING)
CHARLIE DOMPLER: (GRUNTS) It’s not coming off.
(SCREAMS) Oh my God.
What the fuck?
What the fuck? What the fuck?
(SCREAMS)
(CONTINUES SCREAMING)
Mommy!
(YELLS FRANTICALLY)
(PANTS)
(EERIE SILENCE)
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSICAL STING) ♪
(SCREAMS, PANTS)
(GRUNTS)
♪ (EERIE SPIRITUAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Mommy? Oh, I missed you.
You pawned off all of my precious heirlooms and trinkets.
(SOBS) I’m sorry, Mommy.
I needed the money for my gaming PC.
You put me in a home and forgot about me.
That was just a prank.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry!
(VOICE DISTORTING)
You left me to rot away.
(SOBS, SNIFFLES)
(SCREAMS)
(GASPS, PANTS)
(SCREAMS)
Allan, have you seen the boss?
I think there’s something wrong with him.
Nope, but I saw Glep shot his goo on Charlie’s face.
Oh no.
Allan, I think we’re cursed.
I have a feeling all this has something to do with that old lady we turned away.
Hmm, that’s weird.
I guess I’m the only one that’s not cursed.
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Allan, you’re a spider!
No, I was always like this.
Me was born this way.
I don’t think that’s true, but okay.
(GURGLING) My tummy hurts.
(GRUNTS)
(SCREAMS)
(SPIDERS SCUTTLING)
(SCREAMS)
(GRUNTS)
(PANTING FRANTICALLY)
(SCREAMS)
(DISTORTED CACKLING)
(SPLASHES)
(GASPS, PANTS)
♪ (UNSETTLING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(SCREAMS)
(SCREAMING)
(EERIE GROWLING)
Pim… why didn’t you just give the woman the dime?
Why, Pim?
What? This isn’t my fault.
I was the one who wanted to help her.
See? He doesn’t listen to you.
No one listens to you.
This is all your fault, Pim.
This is all your fault.
Aren’t you tired of being ignored?
This is all your fault, Pim.
This is all your fault.
He takes you for granted.
They all do.
(GRUNTS) Shut up.
This is all your fault, Pim.
This is all your fault.
They walk all over you.
They don’t respect you.
They hate you!
This is all your fault, Pim.
Shut up!
This is all your fault!
Shut up. Shut up! Shut up!
Come on. Do something!
(SCREAMS) Shut up!
DEMONS: Yes! Yes!
(SCREAMS) Shut up!
(PANTS)
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
♪ (MUSIC INTENSIFIES) ♪
(GASPING FRANTICALLY)
(LAUGHS EVILLY)
(DEMONIC GIBBERISH)
(SOBS)
(MR. BOSS GRUNTING)
(JANITOR SPLUTTERING, STOPS)
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
(CONTINUES LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
(CRICKETS CHIRPING) See, that’s what would happen if you don’t give me the dime, if you don’t give it to me!
(CHOKES)
You had enough? Huh?
You had enough? Huh?
Tap out. Tap out, man.
(GRUNTS, SCREAMS)
I can’t believe you killed me inside the orb, dude.
Like, I mean, granted, I was being mean to you earlier, and that was very out of character for me, and I apologize, but I didn’t think you had it in you, Pim.
Well, that didn’t really happen, Charlie.
That was inside the orb, but thank you for acknowledging my feelings.
I’m just happy everything’s back to normal.
I got the pizza.
(SKELETON CACKLING)
(SCREAMS)
Gotcha, you son of a bitch, skeleton.
That is really stupid.
Is that supposed to be funny?
Wha–
I don’t know what was the point of that?
Who was that?
I-I don’t know, man.
Oh my–
(CARS REVVING)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
PIM PIMLING: Get in. Get in the building.
(SCREAMS)
♪ (SPOOKY ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING OVER TV) ♪
(CHEERING OVER TV)
(CRIES, SPEAKS GIBBERISH)
Hey, hey. Whoa, whoa!
What happened? What happened?
It’s okay. It’s okay.
Hey, it’s all right.
It’s okay. It’s okay.
You’re safe now.
You’re safe. You’re safe.
Uh, hey, uh, is itis it okay if you can still suck it tonight?
It’s just you… you said you would before.
Uh, is that still okay?
(OLD WOMAN CRYING)
You know what? Never mind.
It’s
It’s okay.
You don’t have to.
You don’t have
It’s–
You’ve been-You’ve been through a lot.
I love you, baby.
(KISSES)
* * *
Smiling Friends – S03E05 – Pim and Charlie Save Mother Nature | Transcript
Original release date: November 9, 2025
Plot: While taking a vacation at Mr. Boss’s remote cabin, Charlie hopes to get a valuable photograph of the legendary “Brown Blur” cryptid Mr. Boss has a painting of. They instead encounter Moth Man (Jim Norton), and an anthropomorphized Mother Nature who is upset when Charlie throws an empty soda can onto the ground. They blame the littering on Moth Man, then clean up the various trash hikers have left in the forest. Mother Nature thanks them for restoring her to health before fatally crushing Moth Man under a tree as revenge for the can. A mushroom overhears Pim scolding Charlie for littering and informs Mother Nature, causing an enraged Mother Nature to try to eat Charlie. Meanwhile, Mr. Boss tries to convince Allan to relax and stop thinking about work, leading to a tryst between the two. Realizing that Allan, Mr. Boss, and Glep will not save them, Pim throws the soda can into Mother Nature’s mouth, killing her. Pim and Charlie return to the cabin, where Mr. Boss reveals that the “Brown Blur” painting was actually a photograph of the inside of his anus during a colonoscopy.
Post-credits scene : Moth Man’s father tearfully attempts to deliver a eulogy at his funeral.
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(ENGINE HISSES AND STOPS)
(INHALES DEEPLY)
(SIGHING) Ah!
You smell that, boys?
That’s the smell of a well-earned vacation.
I think that smell is animal feces.
Actually, that’s Boss feces.
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, I can’t wait to reconnect with nature!
Is this like the Brazil thing where it’s gonna be like a big fake-out, or is this an actual real vacation this time?
Um, yeah, I think this feels more real.
No, no, this one’s for real.
This feels real.
All right, make yourselves at home.
If you guys get hungry, there’s all the slop you can eat.
I got a sweet hot tub in the back you can chill out in.
And I got Super Monkey Ball for the GameCube.
Oh, I love Super Monkey Ball.
Dude, you like Super Monkey Ball?
Pim. Bro, I knew I liked you, dude.
Come here. Bring it in.
Oh, tha–
Bring it in, brother.
Thanks, Mr. Boss. That’s nice.
What’s the Wi-Fi password, Mr. Boss?
Oh, yeah, um…
It’s I, underscore, hate, underscore, Allan, 58, and that’s
it’s all lowercase.
Hey, what’s this, Mr. Boss?
Oh, that?
Well, that’s a painting of the mysterious Brown Blur.
It’s a cryptid that allegedly roams these very woods.
Legend has it, the man who painted it went insane and died immediately.
I bet a real photograph of the Brown Blur would be worth a lot of money.
If someone could get it.
Wait, really?
Like a
Like a lot?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
All right, I’m going to go for a hike up the mountain.
Does anyone want to come?
Yeah, I’ll go.
Cool, let’s go.
By the way, did “i hate allan” work?
Yeah, it worked.
Good. Good.
I didn’t think you’d want to come on a hike with me, Charlie.
Dude, I don’t really care about hiking.
I just came along to get a picture of that creature the boss was just talking about so I could make oodles and oodles of money from it.
Do you think you could actually get a photo?
Oh, absolutely. Pim, dude, if I didn’t work with you at Smiling Friends, I would totally be like an elite spy working at like, you know, the FBI or the CIA or something.
And I, you know, I try to hide that side of me ’cause I know I’m so good at it.
But, yeah, there’s definitely like a beast within me that I… that I keep from you ’cause I don’t want to freak you out and stuff.
Oh, okay.
(BUSH RUSTLING)
Wait. (SHUSHES).
Quiet, Pim. Quiet.
(RUSTLING CONTINUES)
♪ (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Yo, what’s up?
It’s me, Moth Man.
Legendary cryptid.
Uh, we’re actually looking for a different cryptid called the Brown Blur.
Do you know who that is, where that might be?
Nope, never heard of it.
But if you want, you can get a photo with me.
No thanks, man.
We’re all good, man.
We’re all good.
Ah, suit yourself, stupid.
Moth Man away.
I’m gonna take a bridge down.
(LAUGHS)
Whoo! Whoo! (COUGHS)
(WINGS FLUTTERING RAPIDLY) I
don’t know if I really like Moth Man.
He
He seems a bit off.
Yeah, dude, Moth Man sucks.
He really is the worst cryptid.
He doesn’t really look like a moth, does he?
No, I was gonna say he looked more like a man-moth.
(OWL HOOTING)
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
CHARLIE: (COUGHS) Goddamnit, I need to sit for a second.
I just need to sit for one second.
Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
We should probably turn back soon, too.
(SODA CAN HISSES)
What’s with all this rubbish around here?
This is awful.
I don’t know.
Charlie, what are you doing?
There’s already trash everywhere anyway, dude.
Who cares?
That doesn’t mean we have to make it worse.
MOTHER NATURE: (IN HOLLOW VOICE) (COUGHS) Oh, thank you.
I could barely breathe.
What? Who said that?
MOTHER NATURE: Down here.
Who threw that awful trash on me just now?
Uh, I think it was…
Some Moth Man. Some Moth Man ran in and did that. Ran off.
Yeah, it was Moth Man.
Did that after that.
Yeah, Moth
Ran away.
Oh, okay.
Well, thank you for helping me.
No problem.
I’m Pim and this is my hiking partner, Charlie!
Pleased to meet you, Pim and Charlie.
I’m Mother Nature.
Mother Nature?
Wait, as in like the Mother Nature?
The very same. (COUGHS) Oh, are you okay?
MOTHER NATURE: No, I’m not.
All these people littering has made me weak and sick.
(COUGHS)
Oh, is there anything we can do to help you?
Actually, we’re busy, so sorry, we can’t really stop the–
Well, since you asked, there is something you can do.
♪ (VIBRANT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
♪ To help me it’s a simple task
There’s just one thing ♪
♪ That I would ask
Roll up your sleeves ♪
♪ And do your part
Look into your delicious heart ♪
♪ And clean up ♪
♪ Clean up
Clean up the filth ♪
♪ Clean up, clean up
Clean up the filth ♪
♪ Being sick is very bad ♪
♪ But if you clean ♪
♪You won’t be sad ♪
(IN TANDEM) ♪ Yay! ♪
♪ Clean up this nasty
Nasty filth ♪
No, no thanks.
I don’t have any gloves or anything.
MOTHER NATURE: ♪ Oh please, oh please
Oh please, oh please ♪
♪ All this trash
Is making me sneeze, achoo ♪
♪ We’re sick and dying
So if you don’t ♪
♪ Us funny characters
We’ll surely croak ♪
Come on Charlie, let’s clean up for Mother Nature!
(SCOFFS) All right, just-just for a bit.
♪ Clean up, clean up
Clean up the filth ♪
♪ Clean up, clean up
Clean up the filth ♪
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
(WATER BUBBLING)
Which one of you boys wants a hot dog?
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
Mm, Glep wants his nommies.
(WATER SPLASHING)
Yo, Allan!
How do you like your wiener, dawg?
I don’t want no hot dog.
I’ve got other things to worry about.
I need to draft a long email for our insurance.
Allan, like, relax, man.
We’re on vacation, brother.
It’s time to chill out.
That’s easy for you to say.
I have a lot of responsibiliteyes.
Allan, I may be “the boss,” but I’m also an employee of life.
And I’ve learned that sometimes you gotta let your hair down and smell the hot dogs.
(INHALES DEEPLY)
(GROANS EMPHATICALLY)
That’s nice, but I still do not want the hotdog.
(SOBS) The last time I try to make a fucking hotdog for you, man!
(DOOR SLAMS SHUT)
(SQUISHY THUD)
Do you think I was in the wrong there, Glep?
Yeah.
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(RUMBLING)
♪ (BRIGHT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Wow, I feel much better now!
Thank you!
Of course!
And thank you for the lovely song.
No, thank you, Pim!
Have a wonderful blueberry, Pim!
Oh wow, what a marvelous blueberry.
All right, nice knowing you.
Let’s go, Pim.
Goodbye!
♪ Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! ♪
(KISSES) Goodbye!
Oh, that was so cool.
I can’t believe we met Mother Nature.
And all the other characters.
(GULPS, MUNCHES)
Mm!
Pim, don’t ever do that again.
Hey, hey, hey, sorry, sorry.
I’m so glad you guys didn’t leave. It’s me again.
Look. Uh, do you guys have like, WhatsApp, or Instagram, or Facebook or Twitter?
Look, dude, I just gotta be honest with you.
I’m sorry, man.
We’re not interested, dude, so… (SCREAMS) Oh my God!
Ha! Got him!
ALL: Hurray, hurray, hurray!
Why did you do that?
Because he littered on me before.
Thank heavens you saw who it was, or else he might have gotten away with his crime.
Look, Mother Nature, I’m against littering as much as you, but I don’t think you should be killing people over it.
That’s illegal.
You’re right.
Quick, put the body in my mouth.
We must hide the evidence.
♪ Clean up, clean up
Clean up the filth ♪
♪ (VIBRANT TUNE PLAYS, FADES) ♪
Shplanko! (LAUGHS) I win!
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
Hey, Mr. Boss.
Sorry about the hot dog incident before.
No, it’s okay, Allan.
I just… (SIGHS) I want you to have a nice vacation.
And I don’t want you stressed and working all the time.
It’s not good for you, man.
Well, I guess I can try to relax for a bit.
What are you doing here?
Playing Shplanko. Wanna join?
Sure.
(OVEN BELL RINGS)
Oh, my cookies are done!
Yay!
(GRUNTS)
(PANTING HEAVILY)
(CHUCKLES, GRUNTS)
♪ (ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Ooh, cookies. How delectable.
May I have a cookie, Mr. Boss?
Allan, what are you doing all the way over there?
I can barely hear you.
Cookie delivery for Allan.
(CHUCKLES) Where do I sign?
(CHUCKLES) Nowhere. It’s free.
(MUNCHES) Mm. Delicious.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah.
(NOTIFICATION DINGS) More emails.
You know what?
Fook this effing laptop.
I’m on vacation!
(GLASS SHATTERS)
That was a work laptop, Allan, but I am happy for you.
♪ (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(MUNCHES)
Yes, I feel like myself again.
I wonder if there’s any more litterers around these woods.
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
♪ Clean up, clean up
Clean up the filth ♪
Pim, we need to run now!
We can’t, Charlie.
If we don’t stop her, she’s gonna kill lots of people.
Dude, why’d you have to stop and talk to a hole in the first place, man?
Well, this wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t throw away that can on her, Charlie!
What?
Oh, uh, nothing.
You were the ones who littered that can?
No, wait, stop!
Mommy, Mommy, they lied!
Moth Man didn’t litter!
It was that yellow thing!
What? I killed Moth Man for no reason?
(SCREAMS) You will pay!
(GROWLS) Charlie!
(GROANS) Oh, I hope the boss, Allan, and Glep swoop in and save us at the last second!
(BOTH MOANING)
(SCREAMING)
♪ Clean up, clean up
Clean up the filth ♪
♪ Clean up, clean up
Clean up the filth ♪
(SCREAMS)
(GROANS)
(GROANING)
(ALL GAGGING, RETCHING)
Oh my God, dude, Pim, you saved my life, man.
Of course, Charlie, you’re my best friend, but I’m just a bit worried.
Do you think that’s going to have any negative repercussions on the planet, killing Mother Nature like that?
Yeah, I wouldn’t even worry about it.
Hey, by the way, uh, I actually do feel like playing Super Monkey Ball now.
Super Monkey Ball?
Dude, I was–
Yeah! Let’s go play Super Monkey Ball!
I’ve been thinking about it nonstop since the boss brought it up, actually.
CHARLIE: Dude, even when I was being lowered into the freaking mouth, I was thinking about playing Super Monkey Ball.
(DRONE BUZZING)
Morning.
Good morning, Allan.
Hey, thanks for licking those cookie crumbs off my stomach last night.
That’s all right.
Hey, thanks for teaching me how to relax.
I feel totally refreshed.
No problem!
(SCOFFS) Well, there they are.
What the hell happened to you two?
We met Mother Nature and she tried to eat Charlie.
And she killed Moth Man, too.
Yeah, and I didn’t find the Brown Blur, so, you know, maybe I wasn’t as good of a cryptid hunter as I thought I was.
What cryptid?
The painting of the cryptid that you showed me, the Brown Blur thing.
Oh! Oh, the painting.
Dude, I was joking.
That’s a picture of the inside of my asshole.
It’s from a colonoscopy.
I thought you knew that.
♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
(SIGHS) Moth Man, my son, was the apple of my eye.
(SNIFFING) I can’t do it.
Can’t do it.
