Original air date: January 10, 2021
[rock music]
Jesus, can’t a guy get five minutes of privacy around here? What, you can’t remember what happened last week on Shameless? That’s actually kind of pathetic. I feel sorry for you. Can you just get out of here? All right? Go. Thank you. Fucking pervert.
[The High Strung The Luck You Got (Shameless Theme Song) playing]
♫ Think of all the luck you got ♫
♫ Know that it’s not for naught ♫
♫ You were beaming once before ♫
♫ But it’s not like that anymore ♫
♫ What is this downside ♫
♫ That you speak of? ♫
♫ What is this feeling ♫
♫ You’re so sure of? ♫
♫ Round up the friends you got ♫
♫ Know that they’re not for naught ♫
♫ You were willing once before ♫
♫ But it’s not like that anymore ♫
♫ What is this downside ♫
♫ That you speak of? ♫
♫ What is this feeling ♫
♫ You’re so sure of? ♫
[sniffs] [groans] Well, I’ll be damned.
[rock music]
Beware those who are proud of it.
[item clatters]
[sighs]
[hammer banging]
What the fuck?
[Tami] What’s going on?
Yo!
What’s up?
This is my yard.
Twenty-one thirty-two South Gate, right?
Yeah, but the house isn’t for sale.
I just put the signs where they tell me to.
All right, well, they told you wrong, so… take care of it, please. Hey!
Wait, what’s going on?
Ah, don’t worry, don’t worry. I’m calling Milton right now.
Is he selling the place?
[line trills]
[voice mail] Hey, it’s Milton.
It’s voice mail.
[voice mail] Leave a message.
[beep]
Yo, Milton, it’s Lip. Just call me back as soon as you get this, all right? Wondering why there’s, uh, some guy putting a real estate sign in my yard. Thanks.
[Tami] Shit.
Whoop. Big day for Franny and I. We’re going to the playground, then we’re gonna get some lunch at White Castle, and then we’re gonna go and meet Her Royal Highness Queen Justice.
Wait, isn’t that the WWE lady?
Uh, the lady? Don’t you mean the queen?
Y’all been served!
[Debbie laughs]
What?
Yeah. [laughs] That’s her catchphrase.
Franny is obsessed with her.
Y’all been served!
[both chuckle]
And you get to meet her?
Yeah, she’s gonna be at Kevlar Comics all day. I paid ten bucks to get a parent pass so we could get a photo with her.
Wow. Queen Justice.
[Debbie] So? You wanna come? It’ll be super fun.
Uh, no, I can’t.
Why?
I just got stuff to do.
Like what?
Stuff.
Okay.
[Debbie] Hey.
[Sandy] Ooh, cargo pants. Don’t mess with this white guy.
Yeah, I feel like most weed dealers just wear sweatpants and slides, but…
Not a weed dealer. Mickey!
Shut the fuck up. I’m coming.
The fuck you doing?
Coffee.
We gotta go. We’re late.
[Mickey] Okay.
We’ll get coffee on the way.
Oh, my G–stop nagging me!
How am I nagging you?
You’re talking.
Definitely married.
Shut the fuck up.
You shut the fuck up too.
[laughs]
Hey, I gotta do some laundry. You want anything washed?
No, I’m good.
Mm, how about these?
Uh, yeah, sure.
When you take your photo with Queen Justice, will you give it to me?
[Franny] No!
[Sandy] No? But I really want it.
[Franny laughs] No!
No? Please.
Hey, are these yours?
Uh, yeah, thanks.
Do you own a car?
Yeah. Why?
I don’t know. You’ve never mentioned it before.
[sighs] I own a car.
Where is it?
It’s parked on the street.
Okay.
Would you like to see it?
No, I don’t need to see it. I just think it’s weird that you’ve never mentioned it before.
It’s really not.
[rock music]
[sighs]
[Sandy] And here’s another one. Damn if the boys in this family don’t love wearing costumes.
Can I just shoot her already?
[Sandy] Well, you better make sure it’s fatal. Come at the king, you’d best not miss.
Yeah, don’t you worry. Two to the chest, one to the head, just like they taught us in the academy.
[Sandy scoffs] All right. Well, I gotta run. You guys have fun today.
You too.
[Sandy] Bye, Franny.
Y’all been served!
Oh!
The Milkoviches are killing me.
Jeez, you look terrible. You even sleep?
I can’t sleep. They throw shit at my window all night.
Ugh. I’m sorry.
And that stupid racist dog. They trained it to bark my name.
He’s not barking your name.
[Debbie] Don’t worry about it. You’ll have the whole house to yourself today. Just take a nap.
Wait. You’re leaving me here by myself?
Sorry, dude. I gotta work.
You’ll be fine. Just go back to sleep. Okay, come on, Franny. Let’s go. Let’s put you in your Queen Justice costume.
Y’all been served!
[sighs]
[dogs snarling, barking]
Barkeep, a beer and a glass of tomato juice, please.
[Kev] Ha-ha! Hungover?
[Frank] Of course, but that’s not why. I tried to ignore the Milkovich hot spot, but yet again, science wins. Pretending a virus isn’t real doesn’t make it harmless.
Here’s an idea. Why don’t you talk to them?
[Kev] We tried.
No, you tried to trick them. I’m saying talk to them. Listen to their concerns. Express your concerns. Have an actual conversation.
V, you act like these are human beings.
Well, nothing else has worked. It’s worth a shot.
Oh, Jesus, I don’t know what’s more toxic, their filth or your optimism.
What’s up with the fancy outfit? Parole hearing?
No. I like to look nice for men who have nothing better to do than sit in a bar all day. Alderman sent over a list of people who didn’t vote in the last election, so I am going door-to-door to get them to the polls.
You can skip my house. I’ll be here.
Black people. We need to get this rent control bill passed so Black people can afford to stay in the neighborhood.
Tell them to stop paying rent. That’s what the Milkoviches do.
Where do people like that come from in the first place?
[Veronica] The South. Once they realized they had to start picking the cotton, they migrated to the Midwest to take part in our industrial economy.
No, the Milkovich clan came here from Poland after the Polish-Russian War. For some reason, when white people lose a war, they all move to Chicago.
[Kev] All right, Frank. You ready?
[Frank] Can’t you do it?
No. Come on, we’re a team.
Who’ve never won a game.
[Kev] Exactly. That’s why the Milkoviches will listen to us. We’re relatable. We’re not Jordan and Pippen. We’re Tommy and Kermit.
I’m surprised they didn’t ask you to coach the Bulls.
Come on.
[Frank] Fine. Let’s get this over with.
Yo!
[Milton] Oh, shit, shit. Shit. I told them not to put it up before ten. I’m sorry you had to find out like this, man. I was definitely gonna tell you before the sign went up.
What, so this is for real?
[door opens]
[Milton] Oh, hey, Tami. How’s it going? You know, I got a letter in the mail last week from this guy, uh, Larry. I called him back, and he told me, you know, what he thought I’d get for the house. You know how it is these days. You gotta scrape together whatever you can, man.
That doesn’t mean you can kick people out of their fucking houses.
I know, look, you put a lot of work in the place.
Yeah.
And I told you I’ll reimburse you, you know, for the repairs and the labor.
Damn right, you will, but now we got a bigger problem.
[Tami] Yeah. Like where we’re gonna live.
If it sells, you’ll have plenty of time to find another place. The guy said it’ll be in escrow for, like, 60 to 90 days.
Either way, man, it’s a dick move.
I know, man. I’m sorry. I needed the money. Hey, you mind if I go inside? I told Larry here I’d take some pictures, you know, for the website.
Yeah, we mind.
[Lip] No, no, no. It’s all right. Just go ahead.
Man, I’m sorry, Lip.
[Lip] Yeah, yeah.
[Tami] Shit.
Fuck.
[Tami] I don’t care if that bitch owns the house. He can’t just kick us out. I mean, what’s it say in the lease?
Lease?
[Tami] Yeah. We should look at it, see how much notice he has to give us.
Yeah, no, I mean, there-there’s not a lease. You know, it was more of a, uh… handshake kind of agreement.
You’re kidding.
Nope.
Jesus, Lip. A handshake? Oh, my God. Fucking South Siders. I… So Milton can just kick us out tomorrow if he feels like it?
But he-he won’t, okay?
Uh, he just put a “For Sale” sign in the yard, so…
Look, I will talk to him, all right? If he still wants to sell, we will find another place, or… I mean, we could even maybe buy our own place.
With what?
Ah, the money I’m gonna get from the bike, whatever Milton gives us for the repairs, and then, you know, what you bring in from the salon, that could be enough for a down payment. Hey, come on. You know, we’ll go look at some places. I don’t know. Could be fun.
[sighs]
Yeah.
Oh.
[Kev] Hey, neighbors. What you got there?
Found a deer last night on the side of the road. After I, uh, hit it with my truck.
Jackpot.
[Kev] So you’re gonna… cook it?
[Sammy] That’s the plan. Can’t let it go to waste.
Course not. Fresh roadkill, you kidding?
So Frank and I were thinking, now that we’re neighbors, uh, it might be a good time to have a chat.
About what?
[Kev] Just, you know, how to be a good neighbor. What could we do better? Maybe there are things that you can do better or-or just not do.
W-what Kev’s trying to say is, we’re gonna do things that bother you, and you’ll do things that bother us. That’s America. Freedom and boundaries don’t mix. I get it. But if we know the things that bother our neighbors, maybe we don’t do them… anymore. Everybody wins.
Yeah, okay, I get it. Sammy?
Makes sense. Ready?
Yeah, do it.
[rock music]
[screaming]
God! Yeah!
[Sammy] Yeah!
[laughing]
Yeah!
Cool. Well, I think that about covers it. Frank, anything?
No, I feel like we’re on the same page.
[Kev] Okay, great. You guys take care.
[grunts, sighs] Huh?
Hey, this one looks pretty good.
That is, uh, Milton’s house. We live there.
Oh. Shit. $299,000? [laughs]
What? No. No, no one’s gonna pay that.
Can I help you?
Yeah. $300,000 for a house on the South Side? Please, like, who has that kind of money?
Actually, there are already multiple offers.
What?
All at or above list. There’s gonna be a bidding war, sight unseen.
A bidding war on the South Side?
[Tami] $300,000, yeah. So much for talking Milton out of selling.
Yeah, no shit.
Looking to buy a house?
Uh, doubt it. I mean, I didn’t realize the South Side was a seller’s market.
What about this one? It’s only $110,000.
[bluesy rock music]
Yeah, it’s not bad.
Can we check this one out?
Uh, of course. [chuckles] Anytime.
[Lip] Oh.
What?
[Lip] Nothing. Uh… yeah, no, I just, uh– I gotta go to BornFree, um, but, you know, we can check it out at lunch. That work?
Yeah. Meet you there.
[Lip] Cool.
You want to come in? Okay.
This tracker says Sandy’s at some random apartment building. Is that where she lives?
Mama, out!
[low rock music]
Sorry, Franny. I don’t even know where she lives.
[Mickey] All right, where’s the next cash pickup?
[Ian] Uh, Green Gate, then over to… Herbal Care.
[Mickey] Herbal Care? That’s a new one. Where’s it at? Yo, could you not ignore me, please? Hello!
What?
Where’s Herbal Care?
It’s, uh– I-I don’t know. I think we’re being followed.
We’re not being followed, man. It’s called traffic.
No, this guy’s been behind us since we left the grow house.
“Oh, I think we’re being followed, man!” [laughs]
Yeah, and I’m the one who fucking nags, right?
Oh, come on. I’m just giving you shit.
[tires screeching]
Fuck!
Shit.
Shit.
Fuck!
I fucking told you.
Well, congratulations. You were right. You happy? We gotta run.
Out, now.
Shit.
Now!
All right. God damn it.
[bass guitar music]
Oh.
Move!
Fuck!
[robber] Calm down, tough guy. I will shoot you in the nuts!
Lou?
You know this guy?
[Lou] Shut up. Ain’t nobody here named Lou.
I can see the fucking tattoo on your hand says Lou.
Shit. What’s up, Mickey?
[Mickey] You’re an idiot. That’s what’s up. Can we go now? I got shit to do, man.
Afraid not.
I’m your cousin, asshole. Give me my bags. Get the fuck out of the way.
Sorry, man. We got a job to do.
Oh, you got a job? I do too, bitch.
[robber] Whoa, whoa, whoa. Is that an airsoft pistol?
No.
That’s an airsoft gun. I can see where you painted over the orange tip of the barrel.
[laughter]
Can you not afford a real gun?
No, I-I have a real gun. It’s just… if I get caught with it, I go to prison, and some people are very uncomfortable with that.
We’re on parole! We’re on parole.
[sighs] Well, now I feel bad. Tell you what. Since you’re family, we’re only gonna take, uh, 1,000 bucks. All right? Can’t leave empty-handed, you know. We got mouths to feed.
No, uh, yeah, thank you for being so fucking generous.
[Lou] You’re welcome. Hey. I’ll see you at Thanksgiving.
Yeah, okay. Fuck you.
[engine turning over]
[tires squealing]
Unbelievable. There goes our profit for the week.
Don’t make this shit like it’s my fault.
I’m not blaming you. I’m just saying.
You’re just saying that we should’ve had a real fucking gun…
I’m just saying…
…like I’ve been saying…
…it’s your inbred…
…from the fucking beginning!
…Polack fucking family.
We are–
[shopkeeper] Thank you for coming. Damn shoplifters took a bunch of stuff.
Mm.
That’s one of them right there. The others ran away.
Mm.
How’d you catch him?
[shopkeeper] Pepper spray.
[Leesie] Okay, and then you tied him to a rack using belts.
Exactly.
I like your style.
[sighs] What’s your name?
Saquon.
[Leesie] Mm. Pepper spray burn, don’t it?
No.
No? Oh, you a tough guy. Okay. All right. Well, just so you know… it only gets worse from here.
Ow, you’re hurting me.
Move your ass. Come on, Gallagher.
Come on, lady.
[Leesie] Instead of shoplifting, how about you lift some damn weights? One thing you ain’t gotta steal: food.
Hey. Look, it’s cute.
So you know this house?
Of course.
Then you know why it’s so cheap.
Yeah. But, uh, she doesn’t. I’d like to keep it that way.
Not gonna get an argument from me. Thing’s been on the market for years.
You coming?
Yep. See what we got.
Officer Gallagher, can you do me a favor?
[sighs] Yes, ma’am.
In the trunk, there’s a machete. You mind bringing it to me, please?
A machete?
Yeah, my machete. See it?
[Carl] Uh, yeah.
[breathing heavily]
You ever been to Iraq, Saquon?
No.
No? Ooh, I loved it over there. I did not wanna come home. Now, in Iraq, you steal, you don’t go to jail. Nah, they cut off your hand. Punishment fits the crime, see?
Leesie…
Gallagher, don’t just stand there. Come here. Keep this bitch from squirming. It’s gonna take a couple hacks for this hand to come off.
[dramatic oud and drum music]
Here we go.
[screams]
[panting]
Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey! Look at me. This was just a warning. I catch you stealing again, this hand’s coming off. Go home. Change your pants.
Scared Straight ain’t got nothing on my shit.
How’d it go? Did you bury the hatchet?
The virus has mutated.
You okay, baby? What’s wrong?
So much. So much is wrong.
[Frank] I don’t know. You think? I thought we got to a pretty good place there at the end.
What happened?
[Kev] Well, one of them was skinning a deer, and then the other one was branding himself.
What?
[Kev] Right in their front yard. We have to move.
We’re not moving.
It’s like living next to the Manson family, V. The blood?
[Veronica] I gotta get back out to finding Black folks. That’s the only thing that’s gonna fix this. Get out the vote. This is our home, not theirs. If anyone’s moving, it’s them.
Maybe this is it, the final stop in Caucasian evolution: white trash. In the end, we’ll all be Milkoviches.
[low bass music]
[liquid dripping]
♫ Six shots of vodka ♫
♫ Three bottles of wine ♫
♫ And I don’t know where I am ♫
♫ Five seconds, I need a moment ♫
♫ When I stare into space ♫
♫ Let’s roll ♫
♫ Find common ground ♫
♫ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♫
[screams]
[screams]
Now she’s at a restaurant.
Y’all been served!
A restaurant, an apartment building. What’s next, Sandy, a truck stop bathroom?
[realtor] Lots of closet space, built-ins. Floors are in great shape.
I love this bannister.
[realtor] Mm-hmm.
Oh. Oh, there’s a great backyard too. There’s even a tire swing! Oh, my God. Fred would love that one day.
[Lip] Oh, yeah.
[Tami] Hey, what’s in this room?
This room? Oh, it’s so weird. It’s-it’s locked. Oh, well.
They’ve been doing some work in there. Fumes are real strong.
There you go.
Hmm. Well, what do you think? Yeah, maybe.
“Yeah, maybe”? It’s only $110,000. We could own a house.
[realtor] The seller would probably be willing to come down from that.
You said come-come down from $110,000?
[realtor] And they’re prepared to finance with only five percent down.
Why is it so cheap?
It’s been on the market for a while. The electrical’s never been updated. The kitchen and bathrooms need work.
That’s why.
[Tami] Well, you could fix that stuff, just like you did at Milton’s place.
I’m not an electrician, but, uh, we could ask Tommy if he’d come take a look, see how much it might cost to get updated.
[faint crying]
Is that a baby?
Mm, no, no. I think that was a-a cat outside, right?
Well, we should get going. Unfortunately, I have another appointment.
[Lip] Yep.
So, uh, let’s go talk to Tommy, huh?
Yeah, uh, but don’t you have to get back to work?
I’ll call Brad. He’ll understand.
Okay.
[cheerful music]
[muttering indistinctly]
Miss Rose. I love Miss Rose.
[sighs]
[doorbell rings]
Da.
What the hell? You’re not Miss Rose.
Miss Rose moved to Glenwood. I bought the house from her.
Guess I need to update my list. Can I talk to you about the upcoming election?
Sure.
We need people to get out and vote for the rent control bill.
Vote for it?
Yes.
I’m totally against it.
Why?
I own a couple of apartment buildings here. When is the election again? I wouldn’t wanna miss it.
Mmm! God, I love queso. You can’t find this shit in a real Mexican restaurant. You gotta go to a Tex-Mex joint.
You know, you were kind of hard on that kid earlier.
Oh, you mean the punk that I let go free? I’m pretty sure he’s never gonna shoplift again.
Look, you’re not from around here. That’s not always how it works. That kid, he was just acting tough. Now he’s gonna grow up hating cops.
Let me ask you something, Gallagher. What kind of cop you wanna be?
I wanna be–
Shut up! That was rhetorical. I’ma tell you exactly what kind of cop you gonna be. The true-blue kind, the kind who has my back, no matter what. You question the way I police my neighborhood one more time, you and me’s gonna have words, and by “words,” I mean I will fuck you up. We clear?
Yes, ma’am.
Good.
[cell phone rings]
What’s up?
I need you to pick me up.
[Carl] What? No. I’m working, man. I have a job.
I’ll ride with you in the cop car.
No, you can’t ride around with us in the cop car.
Who’s that?
It’s my little brother.
No, he can’t ride around with us.
Yeah, I know. Where are you?
On the streets, where it’s safe.
[Carl] All right, go to The Alibi. I’ll pick you up there later. All right? Bye.
[Debbie] Now it says she’s at some place called Ends Meet. What the hell is Ends Meet?
[bystander] That’s a strip club.
What? It is? Why would Sandy be at a strip club?
Is she a stripper?
No. Uh… I don’t know. Maybe.
[Franny] Mama. Mama.
[bystander] Maybe she just wanted a lap dance.
Yeah, yeah, sure.
[bystander] Hopefully that’s all she wanted. Ends Meet is a full-service club, if you know what I mean.
What, like they sell drugs?
[Franny] Mama.
What, Franny?
How much longer?
I don’t know, Franny. Be patient.
They sell everything. Place is a straight-up ho house.
How do you know?
My daughter used to work there. She’s a ho.
Shit.
♫ I fly ♫
[bluesy rock music]
♫ Till I close my eyes ♫
♫ I just fly ♫
♫ Oh, the sky ♫
♫ I should’ve kept you ♫
♫ In the sky… ♫
Oh! Something on your mind?
Milkoviches.
You too? What’d they do?
It was a head, an animal’s head, upstairs.
Jesus Christ.
That’s it! No more conversation. No more good-neighbor charade. The only way to get through to these people is to whack that bitch.
What bitch?
The host, Old Lady McCurdy. She’s gotta go. Once she’s dead, the house will go to the next of kin, and they’ll evict the Milkoviches.
Frank, you can’t kill Mrs. McCurdy.
[Frank] We have to! We’ve got to kill the host. Otherwise, the Milkoviches will live there forever. Are you in or not?
Oh, I am most definitely not in.
I-I get you. That’s…that’s smart.
No, Frank, I’m not kidding. I’m not in.
No, I-I hear you. You’re “not in.”
Obviously, you don’t hear me, because you put “not in” in quotes.
[Frank] The problem is, the Milkoviches aren’t gonna let us just walk in and kill her. We gotta find a way to get them away from the house.
Frank, there’s no us. There’s no we.
I thought we were a team!
Yeah, well, we were, and now we’re not.
[Frank] Unbelievable. Once again, it is up to Frank Gallagher to save the damn neighborhood.
V’s actually saving the neighborhood.
Oh, really? How? By going door-to-door handing out flyers? Wait, that could work.
What?
Huh.
Hello, gay relatives.
[Kev] Weed’s here.
Hey, you’re lucky the guys who robbed us only wanted the cash.
Can you– no one’s gonna hire us if everyone knows we got robbed.
You guys got robbed?
I guess the word’s out we’re hauling large amounts of cash.
Yeah, sorry about that. Beer’s on me.
It’s your fucking family, man.
He’s not my family, all right? He’s, like, my… third cousin or whatever.
Yeah, well, we can’t use the SUV anymore ’cause your third cousin knows what it’s being used for. He’ll rob us every day.
Not if we’re carrying.
What were you gonna do, get in a gunfight in the middle of Ashland?
Yes, that sound great. I’ll shoot the shit out of that little fucker.
No, what we’re gonna need is a new ride.
♫ Uh! ♫
♫ With your bad self ♫
♫ Say it loud ♫
♫ I’m Black, and I’m proud ♫
♫ Say it loud ♫
♫ I’m Black, and I’m proud ♫
[knocking]
♫ Look a-here ♫
♫ Some people say we got a lot of malice ♫
♫ Some say it’s a lot of nerve ♫
♫ But I say we won’t quit moving ♫
♫ Until we get what we deserve ♫
♫ We’ve been ‘buked ♫
♫ And we’ve been scorned ♫
♫ We’ve been treated bad, talked about ♫
♫ As sure as you born ♫
♫ Just as sure as it take two eyes to make a pair ♫
♫ Brother, we can’t quit ♫
♫ Until we get our share ♫
♫ Say it loud ♫
♫ I’m Black, and I’m proud ♫
♫ Say it loud ♫
♫ I’m Black, and I’m proud ♫
♫ One more time, say it loud… ♫
[Veronica] Where are all the Black people?
Can I get a bag for these?
Sure thing.
Guys, check it out. Unite the Right rally up at Garfield Park.
[laughs] Oh, man.
Hell yeah!
There you go.
Thank you.
Thank you, brother.
This neighborhood is definitely going to shit.
Hey.
[Tommy] Hey.
There he is. So, uh, Tommy, we were thinking of buying this house.
Okay.
And I was wondering if you would take a look at the electrical. All right? It’s pretty ancient, you know? You might see what needs to be done, help us bring down the price a little.
Happy to. Where is it?
It’s on Corbin.
Yeah.
It’s, uh…927 Corbin.
[Lip] Mm-hmm.
Nine-two-seven Corbin?
Hey, Tommy, think you can do it right now?
Sure, I guess.
Okay, let’s go.
Wait a minute.
[Lip] Huh?
No, sorry, Kev. We’re in a rush, and–
[Kev] That’s the house.
The house? No, it’s not.
Yeah, the house from the movie.
What movie?
Yeah, wow, they shot a movie there? That-that’s cool.
[Kev] No, no, no. The movie’s about what happened in real life at the house. Come on, Lip. You know the story.
Kev…
What story?
Ten years ago, a family lived there. One day, the father comes back from work, finds his wife and his three kids hanging from a bannister in the hallway, gutted like pigs.
Oh, my God.
Mm-hmm.
[Tami] That’s awful. Wait. Lip, did you know this? How did you not know about this?
[Kev] The father moved to Wisconsin to start a new life, but he never sold the house. Finally came back a couple years ago, hung himself from the big oak tree in the backyard.
The one with the tire swing?
[Kev] Yep. That house has been abandoned ever since.
It’s haunted.
[Lip] No, it’s not haunted. Tami, come on. Look, it’s got a great backyard, and it’s near a park.
Creepiest thing…
Oh, good, he’s got more.
…family was named Slaughter. They called it the Slaughter house before the murders.
[laughing] I mean…
Tami, let’s take one more look at the house, and if it freaks us out, we’ll walk away.
It does have a great backyard.
Yes, yes, it does.
Yeah. Okay.
Great. All right.
[Tami] All right.
[Lip claps hands]
[softly] What the fuck?
[siren wailing]
So, uh, what happened to the whole “walk the straight and narrow, don’t break the law” bullshit?
Yeah, that was before we got robbed.
Uh-huh.
Here we go.
Uh, hi, hi. Oh, thank God. Uh, it’s my grandma. She’s having chest pains and vertigo. Her blood pressure’s through the roof.
Okay, okay. Calm down. Where is she right now?
Uh, fifth floor.
Okay.
But my cousin’s up here.
Thanks.
Thank you. Ah, but please hurry.
Let’s go.
Thank you.
[upbeat rock music]
All right, move it. They’re probably already on the elevator.
God, I’m good.
Finally, a Black woman.
[laughs]
Hi.
I am so happy to see you. My name is Veronica, and I’m going around the neighborhood, talking to people like you, just reminding you to get out and vote in the upcoming election. If every Black person from the South Side voted, we could get rent control passed and stop our Black families from being forced to move.
What election?
[Veronica] The local election. The rent control bill is on the ballot, and we could really use your support.
Russia decides who wins elections. The whole thing’s rigged.
I don’t think Russia gets involved in the local elections. Your vote, my vote matter. To think it doesn’t gives other people the power to make decisions for us. Sometimes we have to–
You know, the real enemy is Obama.
Excuse me?
That damn presidential library he’s building is gonna make property taxes go through the roof, get rid of affordable housing, 1,000 acres’ worth, and it’s gonna cost taxpayers $5 billion.
The Obama Presidential Center is going to be privately funded.
By rich white people trying to make themselves feel better about 400 years of oppression. It’s how Obama got elected in the first place.
Where do you get your news, woman? We need South Siders like President Obama and his beautiful, badass Nubian wife queen to move back to the South Side.
Obama’s from Kenya.
Okay.
[Queen Justice] Here you go. Thanks for coming out.
Hi there.
Oh, my God, she’s still there. I thought that she was too busy to hang out with us today because she had stuff to do, yet she spent the whole day at the damn strip club.
Mama?
What?
How much longer?
What the hell is taking so long? What are these people doing?
[rock music]
Excuse me. I’m so sorry. Hi.
[bouncer] Excuse me, miss. You can’t just–
Hi there. I’m so sorry.
Hold on. Hold on.
You see, my daughter… she has stage IV cancer, and, uh, we applied for the Make-A-Wish Foundation, but there’s a three-year wait list, and we just don’t have the time for that. So yeah, this is Franny.
Hi, Franny. How are you?
There we go. Do your line, Franny.
Y’all been served!
You been served!
We have to go to a doctor’s appointment now. Thank you so much.
All right, bye-bye.
[Frank] Hey, pal.
Don’t touch my gate, drunk.
I’m surprised you’re not already up at the rally.
What rally?
Unite the Right rally up in Garfield Park.
If there was a Unite the Right rally, I’d know about it.
Some kids down the street were passing these out. It looks like some sort of spontaneous protest.
Let me see.
Like a flash mob for racists.
[Terry] “Unite the Right rally, Garfield Park, 5 p.m., free American pizza, BYOT”?
Torches?
I’m in. Dust off the tiki torches, boys. We got plans tonight. Ah.
Whoo! God, I miss this.
[siren wailing]
[both laughing]
Having fun, huh?
I am.
Uh-huh.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah? You think that’s a good idea, considering we just stole this motherfucker? Turn that shit off.
[wailing stops]
I’m gonna call Debbie and tell her we need her help making some modifications.
Hey, does this mean I get to carry a real gun now?
Hell yeah, and I need one too, and not some pansy-ass handgun, all right? If someone fucks with me, I want them staring down the gaping maw of a 12-gauge shotgun.
Holy shit, I’m hard. That may be the hottest thing I’ve ever heard you say.
[rock music]
Oh, hell yeah.
Yup, yup.
Gonna have to be a quickie.
Not a problem.
Oh!
Oh, shit!
Fuck. Alive?
Yeah, I’d hope not. Probably taking him to the morgue when they took our call. Wonder how he died.
Who gives a shit? What do we do with him?
[Ian] Uh, can’t take him to the emergency room. It’s too risky.
Okay, so dumpster.
Come on, man, I took an oath.
What oath says you can’t dump a body in a dumpster?
Ah, shit.
[Leesie] Look at my eyes, Gallagher. Always scanning like a damn Cylon.
[imitates trilling]
Gallagher.
[dispatch] All units, 211, 44100 Western Avenue. Suspect still on the premises. Juvenile African American, age ten to 12.
It’s the clothing store again.
Hmm, another little Black kid? Surely Saquon ain’t that stupid. If he is, I’m gonna rain down on that little bastard.
Get your ass in the truck. Come on, let’s go.
Tommy, Timmy, get your ass in the truck.
[Milkoviches whooping]
Fucking Proud Boys will get all the free pizza.
Come on, let’s go, boy!
Whoo!
[engine turning over]
[indistinct shouting]
Yeah! Whoo!
Let’s do this.
All right!
[car horn playing “Dixie”]
[rock music]
[shopkeeper] He’s still in there. Same motherfucker as before, and this time, he’s got a gun.
Uh-huh.
Should we call for backup?
Oh, stop being such a little bitch. Damn it, Gallagher. You got my back or what?
Yes, ma’am.
Okay, so go round to the alley. Make sure that they don’t get out in the back. I’m going in the front. Coming for you, Saquon! I hope you don’t like playing guitar!
[Leesie screams]
[energetic music]
Shit. What the hell happened?
[groans]
Bitch pointed his gun at me, so I took cover, and I fell on… fell on my machete.
[clears throat] Where’d he go?
He ran out.
All right. Dispatch, 19. Officer needs medical attention over at 44100 Western Ave, over.
Do not tell anyone that I fell. You tell them that, um, I got attacked by an 18-year-old with a blade. Goddamn.
So you mean don’t tell them you literally brought a knife to a gunfight.
Gallagher! [yelps]
Don’t worry, Sergeant. I got your back.
[respirator hissing, monitor beeping]
[Frank] You poor woman. It’ll all be over soon. Say hello to your husband for me.
[groans softly]
[sighs]
[gasps]
Jesus fucking Christ. What the fuck? You still alive?
[gasps]
[screams]
[hip-hop music]
I’m back
[gasping, straining]
We’re never gonna find another place this cheap.
Because no one wants to live in a murder house.
No, I do.
You knew this whole time, didn’t you? Son of a bitch.
Look, what other options do we have, Tami, all right? If we wanna buy a house… this is it.
Hey, can we see in this room?
Hey, this is nice.
This was the nursery.
Hold up. One of the children that was…
Murdered.
…was a baby?
[realtor] Yes.
Hey, why do they keep the, uh, door locked?
Some people claim when they’re in here, they can hear a baby crying.
[Lip] That’s…ridiculous.
[softly] Can we have a minute? You…don’t believe in ghosts, do you?
Yeah, of course not.
Right. Me neither.
[faint crying]
Wait, do you hear that?
Hear what?
Nothing.
Nothing.
Yeah, okay. So sad shit happened here.
Yeah.
But that was a long time ago.
Hey, you know, once the sellers find out that we know what happened, I mean, they’ll lower the price even more. And everybody’s so terrified of this house, you know, we’ll never have to worry about people trying to break in, and…
Yeah, we won’t even have to lock the doors.
No, it’s the safest house in the neighborhood. You know, I… I think we can make it work.
Fuck it.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah. Let’s do it.
Hey.
Thanks for picking me up. Pretty cool you get to drive around in a police car all day.
I don’t normally drive, but my partner had an accident today. All right, I gotta go, but I’ll see you later.
Please don’t leave me here all alone. The Milkoviches wanna kill me, and their dog barks my name, and he’s now barking the N-word.
Dogs can’t bark-talk.
[sighs] Guess I gotta go away for a little while, till things settle down.
[sighs] All right. I got something for you. Come on.
[Debbie] You put me down right now! Right now! Put me down! [grunts] I just wanna talk to her!
[bouncer] She’s not here! Get the hell out of here.
God! Fine, fine.
[dance music playing]
Damn it! Ah! God fucking– You do not know who you’re fucking with.
[Franny] Mama?
[sighs] Hi, baby. Mama’s so sorry. Let’s go home, baby.
Been saving this for you.
Whoa.
It’s a good training wheel gun. I mean, you’ll need to upgrade by the time you’re 13, but this’ll do for now. So safety’s here. Clip holds eight, plus one in the chamber. Single-action blowback. Point and shoot, just like Call of Duty. Remember, you gotta keep this locked up when you’re not using it so Franny doesn’t play with it. Okay? I got something to do. I’ll be back in a little bit. Oh, it’s okay if you shoot a Milkovich. No one cares.
[rock music]
[Ian] Uh, give me your shirt.
What? No. I like this shirt.
♫ Ooga booga ♫
Fine.
[Mickey] Uh…
[Ian] Yeah.
Good.
Should we, um, say a few words?
Yeah, “bye.” Come on, come on. Let’s go.
♫ Ooga booga ♫
[Saquon] Nice shoes. Where’d you get those? Those are dope. I like those.
[Carl] Hey, Saquon. Let me talk to you for a sec–
[sighs] Of course.
Dumbass.
[grunts]
Dang.
You are one predictable little shit, aren’t you? Hey, don’t shoot me. Okay? I’m actually doing you a favor. Come here. Yeah, I used to take the same route too. Alley behind the school, through the dry cleaner’s, then the O’Neils’ backyard, over the St. Agnes wall, through the gate behind the Family Dollar to freedom. Right out of the South Side playbook. Now, who do you think took the lock off this gate, huh?
Am I going to jail?
Look, I’m not gonna bring you in. That shit with the machete was way outta line. But you gotta get rid of that gun and also do me a favor.
Like what?
You know Miss June, right?
Yeah.
All right, she’s always selling squares over on Benson in front of the liquor store. Make sure no one messes with her or her friends, and I’ll make sure no one messes with you. Deal?
All right.
[Patrick] Doesn’t work?
[Brad] Mm.
[Patrick] What about the cloud? Do you have, like, a cloud link that you could send us?
[Brad] No, we don’t have anything like that.
Okay, um…
[Lip] Yo! It’s looking like, uh, Tami and I are buying a house.
What?
I wouldn’t.
What are you talking about?
Our new owners, uh, Patrick and Dante…
[Lip] Yeah.
…are making some changes.
What, uh-what kind of changes?
They’re reducing your hours, everybody’s hours, and they’re kicking everybody down to minimum wage.
Jesus Christ. This day keeps getting better and better. W-what, they want us to quit, or…
They think they’re doing us a favor. Apparently most of the new shops pay per project, not by the hour.
I’m gonna talk to them.
Lip, I don’t think you should–
Hey, man, I’m just gonna talk to them. It’s all good. It’s all good.
Hey.
What’s up?
[Lip] You’re, uh- you’re cutting my hours?
Just a short-term thing till we can pull in more revenue.
Oh, uh, and you’re making us work for minimum wage, right? So how about one or the other, right? Otherwise, we’re all kind of fucked.
There are plenty of really good builders out there who don’t have jobs who’d take that deal in a second.
Oh, there are plenty of really good builders here, you know, who’ve been here a lot longer than you have, who work their asses off every day. You know, if anything, they deserve a raise.
You work your ass off? You’ve been gone since lunch.
Well, Brad knew where I was. I was gonna work tonight.
Any other feedback?
No.
Cool, ’cause your ass is fired.
What the fuck?
What?
[Patrick] Last thing I need is some blue-collar bad boy subjecting me to a bunch of working-class jibber-jabber.
[Lip] Hmm.
Oh, shit.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Dude!
What the fuck, man?
Fuck you!
[Brad] He’s not worth it. He’s not worth it. He’s not worth it.
[Patrick] Fuck!
[Dante] Jesus.
You okay, man?
[groans]
What the fuck is wrong with you? You went to Ends Meet?
Are you a prostitute?
[scoffs] No.
Are you a stripper?
No.
A drug dealer?
I-I mean, not anymore. What the fuck is this about? Why are you acting so crazy?
Why were you at a-a strip bar and-and a restaurant and some random sketchy apartment, huh?
Did you follow me around all day?
No. I… I put Franny’s tracker in your bag.
W… why would you fucking do that?
Because this morning when I found out that you have a car, I realized that I don’t know anything about you.
Oh, my fucking God. You are a psycho.
I mean, what do you do every day? Where do you live? I don’t know shit.
I bartend at Ends Meet, and I drive for Postmates. That’s what I do all day. You wanna know where I live? I bounce around and crash on people’s couches, but I basically live in my car. Once the virus shut the city down, there was no fucking work. Do you remember that? I couldn’t pay rent.
[sighs] I-I didn’t know.
Yeah, that’s ’cause I didn’t want you to know.
I’m sorry.
How are we supposed to be in a relationship if you don’t trust me?
[brakes squealing]
Are we in a relationship?
[person] Sandy!
Who’s that?
Sandy!
[sighs] It’s my fucking husband.
Sandy, I know you’re in there!
Your what?
I gotta go.
What?
I’ll-I’ll explain everything later.
Go to fucking hell, Royal!
Sandy, you just can’t run away!
[Sandy] Fuck!
[rock music]
[Kev] Hey, baby. How’d it go?
It’s damn depressing. Most of the Black people are gone. The ones that are still there are dumb shits. How am I supposed to get out the vote when most of the vote has gone to Yorkville?
Hey. So did you do it?
Do what?
It.
What are you talking about?
Mrs. McCurdy. You said you were going to…you know.
I never said that. What kind of a sick–
…kill her.
Oh, right. Yes. Oh, I tried.
What happened?
I pulled the plug, but she didn’t die. In fact, I had to fight her. The woman is full of surprises. Slight build but Bruce Lee strong.
So, what, that’s it? You’re just gonna give up?
What do you want me to do, stab her? I’m not a monster.
[reporter] We begin with tonight’s top story. An impromptu Unite the Right rally in Garfield Park results in dozens of arrests.
[reporter] When protesters showed up to stop the rally, things escalated quickly, leading to violence…
I am poor… unemployed, and pretty soon, I’m gonna be homeless.
How long you been sober for?
About two and a half years.
Almost six months for me. You know, in the old days, if that shit had happened, I’d be at BornFree right now, stealing everything in sight.
Really?
See, old Lip, he wasn’t the, uh, upstanding citizen that he is today.
Well, that’s a shame.
You still got the keys?
Yeah.
[dogs barking]
[Milkovich] Get the fuck out of here!
I’m gonna get you!
No!
You hear me?
[dogs barking]
Not today, rednecks!
[hip-hop music]
♫ They ask me, “LV, where you been at?” ♫
♫ I been runnin’ through the jungle ♫
♫ It’s not safe to come and get that ♫
♫ Selling trap hits by the bundle ♫
♫ I know trials and convictions ♫
♫ That’s the lion of the system ♫
♫ If he lyin’, then we get him ♫
♫ Sellin’ classics like a smuggle… ♫
[Terry groaning]
Oh!
[bat clatters]
I gotta piss like a racehorse.
♫ Fuck your luck, poppin’ ‘shrooms ♫
♫ That’s Cap’n Crunch we eat for lunch… ♫
Oh.
[groans]
[bullet squelches]
♫ “LV, where you been at?” ♫
♫ I been runnin’ through the jungle ♫
♫ It’s not safe to come and get that ♫
♫ Selling trap hits by the bundle ♫
♫ I know trials and convictions ♫
♫ That’s the lion of the system ♫
♫ If he lyin’, then we get him ♫
♫ Sellin’ classics like a smuggle ♫
♫ They ask me to change, I stay in my ways ♫
♫ The jungle is searching, purple is the rain… ♫
[wheezing]
Help.
Help.
♫ N*ggas try run our sound like a bike ♫
♫ Hold up ♫
♫ Fresher than a Tic Tac ♫
♫ Hold up, n*gga, get back ♫
♫ You don’t wanna click-clack-boom ♫
♫ This a mismatch, write it in the dispatch ♫
♫ Riding in a pitch-black, feeling like the reaper ♫
♫ And I’m finna bring this bitch back ♫
♫ Whoo ♫
♫ Y’all ain’t ready ♫
♫ I been plottin on this shit since I was seven ♫
♫ I was tryna give a sermon like a reverend ♫
♫ I’ma make sure I die a motherfucking legend, n*gga ♫
♫ Who you know who got the flow as me? ♫
♫ Write it down and scratch it out for me ♫
♫ My shit is gold like this is alchemy ♫
♫ Fucking hos right on the balcony ♫
♫ Popping shit like it was out of style ♫
♫ Watch my wrist, the time is on the dial ♫
♫ Papa said, “Don’t ever go to trial” ♫
♫ It’s a lot of motherfuckers who won’t see me now ♫
♫ But hey, that’s how it go ♫
♫ Life is a bitch, you know bitches turn cold ♫
♫ My name LV, Last Verse for you hos ♫
2 thoughts on “Shameless – S11E05 – Slaughter – Transcript”
What is the song at the end of this episode? I can’t find it anywhere.
“Semper” by Last Verse