Sex Education – Series 3 Episode 6 [Transcript]

The truth is out there: Maeve gets the news, Aimee reveals her vulva cupcakes and more, and Eric navigates Nigerian life. Hope goes to new extremes.
Sex Education - Season 3 Poster

Original release date: September 17, 2021

* * *

[bell ringing]

[“Under Pressure” by Queen & David Bowie playing]

[Lily] “And then Lord Vanon said, ‘Candita, I will love you until my dying day. Marry me!’ “

“But Candita didn’t wanna be owned by some rich, alien dude.”

“So she said, ‘I don’t love you, Lord Vanon, but I do want to have sex with you.'”

“Lord Vanon agreed to have sex with Candita and showed her his penis hands for the first time.”

“She was repulsed, but she liked it.”

[song stops abruptly]

What’s with the cape, Lily?

It’s my nebula protector, obviously.

Lily wrote another story.

Sarah, why don’t you go and chat with the other girls?

I’m going to have to confiscate this. And I need to speak to your parents.

[song continues]

Lily Pad,

Miss Talbot called. She was really upset.

She said you’d written a story.

Something about

hands looking like…


She asked if everything was all right at home. It was embarrassing.

The thing is,

nice girls don’t really talk about all that

S-E-X stuff.

You know, it’s… it’s just not really appropriate.

I like writing stories.

Well, maybe keep ’em to yourself.

♪ Pressure on people, people on streets… ♪


♪ Pressure ♪

♪ Pushing down on me ♪

♪ Pressing down on you, no man ask for ♪

♪ Under pressure That burns a building down ♪

♪ Splits a family in two Puts people on streets ♪

[song ends]

Are you fucking kidding me?



[whimsical music playing]

[doorbell rings]

[knocking at door]

[Otis] Mum?


Aimee’s here for her appointment.

Oh shit. I completely forgot.

All right, I’ll be right down.




[Aimee] So this one has a longer labia, which is really common.

This one’s all tucked in.

With pubes, without pubes.

This one’s more frilly.

This one’s crooked, like mine,

and this one, as you can see, is on its period.

I’ll go for the one with pubes.

Great choice!

Thank you.

Sorry, Aimee.

I’m a bit disorganized this morning.



Vulva cupcake?

[Jean] Ah.

[whimsical music continues]



[sighs] They must have had a fight.


Look at all those tits.

Yeah, I’m reorganizing my vintage men’s magazine collection.

[breathes deeply]

Those are my favorites.

Oh, they’re lovely.

Anyway, how you doing today, Aimee?


I had a big fight with my best friend, Maeve,

and I’m feeling really sad about it.

But also like I wanna punch her in the face.

Why don’t we talk about it?

You seem quiet.

I’m just a bit tired.

[phone chimes]

[emotional music playing]

What is it?

I just got into the Gifted & Talented program.


I can’t believe it!

I can.

I knew you’d get it.

[phone chimes]

Hey, that’s amazing!

Thank you.

Try to enjoy it.

Otherwise, I will have to tell a joke.

Please don’t.

Knock, knock…

No. Okay, I’m going to school.

I’ll see you later.

[“Oyejo” by Fela Ransome Kuti & His Koola Lobitos]

[Beatrice] Ay, ay, ay, ay, Mummy,

this is for you.


My friends will be jealous of these gifts.

Abeo is so generous.

Me, I’m always boasting about my son-in-law.

The successful accountant in England.


What is she on about? Dad’s not an accountant.

I don’t know.

I’ll get you some more.

Ah-ah. Don’t worry, Mummy. I will get it.

No, now it’s not often I get to wait on my grandson.


[speaking Yoruba]


Hey, my sister!

Bebe. Emeka.

[tuts] Hm.

He’s going to be at the wedding.

I haven’t seen him for years.

[Beryl] His business is doing so well!

Who’s Emeka?

I don’t know who he is.

And he’s still single, you know.

Stop gossiping, Beryl!

[grandma laughs]

Who’s Emeka?

No one!

Eh? You were engaged!


[Beatrice] Okay, girls.

Time to start getting ready for the wedding!

[speaking Yoruba]


Hey! Go!

[Beryl laughs]



[Aimee] She said I was being unfair to Steve

because I’m too much of a people pleaser to break up with him.

[Aimee breathes deeply]

And how did that make you feel?

Like an idiot.

Because she’s probably right.

She didn’t have to say it in such a mean way.

Why do you think she’s right?

‘Cause it’s true.

I hate fights. I hate making people feel bad.

So I just lie and tell them what they wanna hear,

which is why I probably won’t break up with Steve,

and why I had such awful friends for so many years.

And why I smiled at that gross, stupid man on the bus

and made him think he could rub his stupid dick on me.

[Aimee breathes deeply]

[breathes deeply]


Do you feel

that if you hadn’t smiled at him,

he wouldn’t have assaulted you?

I don’t know.

Had you smiled at strangers before?

Had that led to them assaulting you?

Listen to me, Aimee.

What that man did to you on the bus

has nothing to do with your smile

or your personality

and is only about him.

And it is absolutely not your fault.

[emotional music playing]

Do you understand?


How do I get stronger?

Like you.

Like Maeve.

Oh, I bet you’re stronger than you think you are.

The fact that you can say you feel angry because of the fight with Maeve,

that’s a positive step towards feeling your full spectrum of emotions.

But also,

it’s not anybody’s place

to tell you that you should or shouldn’t break up with your boyfriend.

Yeah, I guess so.

I mean, I did tell her to get over herself and be with Otis,

but I think I have a point.

They’re clearly in love.

Yes, he’s been a bit of an arsehole, but he’s apologized a lot.

And she isn’t the easiest person to get to know, so it’s kinda like…

[whimsical music playing]

I probably shouldn’t have talked about Otis, should I?

How was he an arsehole?


Well, see you next time, Aimee.

Thank you.

Oh, Aimee, can I grab a lift?

[Aimee] Yeah!

[phone chimes]

[door opens]

[“Sweet Mother” by Prince Nico Mbarga playing]

Who’s that from?

Just Eric.

♪ Sweet mother ♪

[door closes]

♪ Sweet mother, I no go forget you ♪

♪ For this suffer way you suffer for me… ♪



I like your moves.

Thank you.


Let me fix your Aso-Oke.

[Eric] Okay.

Wow! What is this called, Mum?

“The Senator.”


Do you like it?

Yes! It is camp as hell!


Your grandma might hear.

[door closes]


who’s this Emeka guy?


It was a long time ago.

We were silly teenagers.


Okay. And why did you not get married?

I met your father.

Okay, you met my father in the war…

You look lovely.


Thanks, Mummy! [chuckles]

If I could add some gold eye shadow, I’d look even better.

I’m serious, Eric. Not here.

I’ll see you outside.



[door closes]

[whimsical music playing]

[indistinct chattering]

“Lord Vanon unsheathed his throbbing cock-rod,

plowing Princess Zandora all night long.”

[students laughing]

The musical was weird, but she’s actually into banging aliens!

Hey, Lil, can we please talk?

What’s going on?

They published my story.

Oh my God.

Hope, um, I was wondering if I could talk to you

about getting a gender-neutral changing room on campus?

I think it would really help the trans and queer students here.

Cal, we can talk about whatever you like

once you come to school wearing the correct uniform.

How exactly would you define “correct”?

Layla, could you come here, please?

Layla is a perfect example of how you can express your identity

and still abide by school rules.

So Layla’s a good NB, and I’m a bad one. Is that right?


I don’t understand your slang.


Like, nonbinary person.

Layla, you can step back. Thank you.

I think it’s interesting how you like to split us up.

Layla and me, Jackson and Viv.

Is there too much power in multiple otherness for you?

Like I said, come to me when you’re sticking to protocol.

Can you believe Adam Groff threw poo out of the coach window?

I always knew he was deranged.

[gasps] Oh my God, Mark!

[chuckles] You scared me.

Why are we in the paper again?

And why have I been fielding complaints from parents

telling me their children went on a school trip

which involved missing students and human feces?

I’ll look into it.


I told our investors and the rest of the school board

that you were going to turn the narrative around.


And our upcoming open day will nip this in the bud.

We’ll be announcing the rebrand to the press…

[Mark] A rebrand isn’t enough.

You need to show them that this place has changed.

If we don’t get the next round of money, we are screwed. Do you understand?

Yes. I will not let you down.

Good. I’ve got a meeting to get to.

Of course.

Of course you do.

Thank you.

Thank you so much for that encouraging pep talk.

So supportive.

[whimsical music playing]

Gentle. Fucking fucklord…

Hi, Hope.


Sorry, I can come back…

No, absolutely not. Um, how can I help you?

Um, okay, so I got onto the GTIP.

Oh. Well done.


So I was wondering if you’d managed to get that funding we talked about.

I spoke to the school board.


And unfortunately, things are a bit tight at the moment.

And so, they said no.

[inhales deeply]


I’m so sorry, Maeve.

No, it’s fine.

Hopefully, your family can find the money.

Yeah, yeah.



[door closes]

[emotional music playing]

[whimsical music playing]

[Aimee] Enjoy!

[girl] Thank you.

Free vulva cupcake?

Ew, they’re so ugly.

I thought so, too, at first, but every vulva is unique and beautiful

and deserves to be cherished.

Cherish it.

[mouth full] Mm, this is so good.

Why don’t you just speak to her?

‘Cause I’m still pissed off.



How are you?


I just got into the Gifted & Talented Program.

That’s amazing! Oh, congrats, Maeve.

Thanks. Don’t think I have the money to go, but, you know…


I can tell you are ignoring my texts,

which, under the circumstances, is quite a point of vulnerability.

Yeah. I’m sorry.


It’s just… I just wasn’t expecting what happened between us to happen.


And, um…

I like Isaac.

You know, I think we have something good.

So, uh…

What, we should just forget about it?

I think so.

[announcement chime]

[over PA] All students to the assembly hall, please.

[indistinct chatter]

[phone chimes]

[suspenseful music playing]

[microphone feedback]

I’ve asked you all here

to announce a new direction for your school.

A fresh start.

Moordale Secondary will soon be known as Sparkside Academy.

[students chattering]

[Hope] I’m sure you will have many questions,

but our goals for Sparkside will be made clear

at our upcoming open day.

We will also be inviting the press

to show them that “Sex School” is a thing of the past.

And speaking of press,

I’m sure you’re all aware

that our school once again made the news today.

Take me now, Lord Vanon!

[students laughing]

Yes, it was very funny, wasn’t it?

However, the part where they called us an “institution full of sexual deviants”

was not very funny at all.

It seems that there are some students here

who get a kick out of giving us a bad name.

And it has to stop.

So, Lily Iglehart, Cal Bowman,

and Adam Groff, come to the stage, please.

[students whispering]

[both mouthing]

[Hope] Take a seat, please.

From now on, punishment will be dealt with differently on this campus.

Will you read that out, please, Cal?

“I am a slovenly troublemaker…”

A little louder, please.


“I am a slovenly troublemaker who doesn’t care about my peers!”

This is fucked up!

Sit down, Jackson.

Put the sign on, Cal.


I don’t think my story was dirty.

Then why is everyone laughing at you?


Read it.

[somber music playing]

“I wrote

dirty and disgusting words which have brought shame on my peers.”

Um, I can’t read that word.

It says that you are unhygienic.

Because what you did in France was filthy and put your peers at risk…


Sit down.

It’s supposed to be school, not somewhere we should be afraid.

Okay, you’re suspended.


[Hope] Leave.

[students] What?

I said, leave!

“I am unhygienic and put my peers at risk.”

You will not be allowed your phones for the remainder of the week.

No one is to speak to these students.

And you will not be allowed to remove your sign until I say so.


You better shut your cake stall down.

Okay. Back to class.

[microphone thud, feedback]

[somber music continues]

[breathes deeply]

[Maeve] Hey.

[phone ringing]

Hello, what’s going on?

[Isaac] The police are here.

They’re looking for Elsie…

[splutters] Slow down, Isaac. What?

Your mum took Elsie for a walk at her visitation. She didn’t come back.

They think she’s kidnapped her.


They’re heading to Anna’s now.

They wanna talk to you.

Um, okay, I’ll meet them there.

You okay?


Um, I need to go to Anna’s. There’s an emergency.

[tense music playing]

Do you wanna borrow my bike?

[sobs] No.

It’s quicker!

I can’t ride a bike, Otis.

What do you mean you can’t…

No one ever fucking taught me! Okay?


[indistinct chattering]

When will you get married, Eric?

He’s 17, Mummy!

I got married at 18. Young people are getting married very old now.

It’s foolish! Why wait?


Listen, Eric, don’t get married until you have to.

Have fun while you can.

Ow! Hey!

Atinuke, I told you you are not in this photo.


What if you and Jimoh break up?


[Beatrice laughs]


[whimsical music playing]

Have you got a girlfriend, Eric?

He hasn’t…

Eric doesn’t have time for girlfriends.

He’s too busy focusing on his school work.


[Beatrice] Yeah.

Don’t wait too long.


I’ll pray every day

that you meet a good Christian woman and have a big wedding in Nigeria…

[group] Yes!

…before I die.

[photographer] Okay. Everybody, bunch together!

Okay, on three, and then smile.

One, two, three, smile!

[camera shutter clicks]


Hey, you.

You. Why are you not smiling? You’re ruining my picture.

[all clamoring]

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!

[Eric] Sorry!

Okay. One, two, three, smile.

[camera shutter clicks]

Just here.

[Maeve] Hi.

[Isaac] Hi.

I wanted to make sure you’re okay.

[Maeve] Thank you.

[Anna] You all right, Maeve?

What’s he doing here?

She needed a lift.

That’s convenient.

Well, I’d better go inside and help,

but thank you for dropping Maeve off.

You know, I’m gonna come help too.

[whimsical music playing]


[woman] Can you tell me about this morning?

[Anna] She seemed okay.

Her appeal for custody failed last month.

[Otis whispers] There you go.

She’d never been happy about the supervised visits. Thank you.

She didn’t seem distracted?

Yes, did she seem on edge at all?

How about I ask the questions, boys? Hm?

[clears throat] So, how did Erin seem this morning?

She wanted to take Elsie to the playground.

I had never imagined…

Will my mum be in any trouble?

This is serious. She could face prison time when we find her.

It’s gonna be all right.

[woman] She used a cashpoint on Barrow Street at 10:17 a.m.,

but that doesn’t give us any indication as to her whereabouts now.

She’s probably left Moordale. Have you checked CCTV at the station?

Yeah, we have.

And what about buses?

[woman] We thought about buses too.

And you can tap her phone.

Sorry, how are you both connected to the case again?

I’m Maeve’s friend. He is her complicated love interest.

You used to be her friend until you were an arsehole at that party.

The only arsehole is the man who deleted my voice mail without telling her!

Outside, both of you.

Outside. Yep.


[Isaac] Always popping up where people don’t want you.

Just go home, man!

You… you don’t know me.

Always making things worse.

What are you even doing…

Shut up! The pair of you! My sister is missing.

This is not an opportunity for you to swing your dicks around!

Dunno how you can even think of choosing this guy over me.

Choosing? What are you talking about? You’re so deluded!

[Isaac] Oh right.

Did something happen between you guys on the trip, then?

Yeah, yeah.

But it doesn’t mean anything.

I mean… I do… I don’t know what it means.

Elsie’s missing. That’s all I care about right now.

Well, good luck finding her, Maeve. Um…

Isaac, don’t go.

[Maeve] Oh fuck.

Thanks, Otis.

I think I should stay and help.

No, I don’t think you should.

You’d make things worse!

What do you mean?

Since you stopped the clinic, you stopped caring about anyone but yourself.

No, that’s not true.

It… it’s just not my responsibility.

I think you should go.

I don’t wanna see you anymore.


[door closes]

[Jean] Jakob!


I think we need to work out what we’re going to tell the kids

about why we’re sleeping in separate beds.

I don’t think they need to know. It’s private between you and me.

[Jean] Well, I disagree.

Open dialogue is important with teenagers.

Okay, you go ahead and tell them.

[distant clattering]


I was just dropping off your book.

[Jakob continues hammering]

[whimsical music playing]

Would you like to come in for a chat?

[Jakob continues hammering]

Have a seat. [sighs]


why did you decide to return my notebook?

I thought you should have it.

So I assume it was also you who made the photocopies last term.

Yes, it was.


And I’m ashamed of my behavior.


I keep reading the things Maureen said about me to you.

And I think they’re all true.

[emotional music playing]

But I don’t know how to change.

Come and voice your opinion at the Student Forum tonight. Thank you.

Viv, listen, I’ve had an idea.

Let’s use the forum to ask people how they feel about Hope’s new values.

If enough people don’t like what she’s doing, we can change things.

I can’t do that.

I don’t get it.

Why are you trying to help her? She’s bad news, Viv!

Jackson, I’m not an idiot, okay? I need to get into a good university.

It’s not just my dream. It’s important to my whole family.

And I do not have the privilege to fuck up school.

Viv, I know you’re not an idiot. You’re the smartest person I know.

You’re kidding yourself if you think she cares about your dreams.

[announcement over PA] Vivienne Odusanya to Hope’s office, please.

Think about it.

[door closes]

I asked you to keep an eye on your peers during this trip.

And then I hear rumors, and I’m left feeling confused

because when I asked you how the trip was going, you said,


So help me out here, Viv.

I didn’t wanna get anyone into trouble. I…

I felt in the middle.



When I first met you,

I thought,

“This girl’s going somewhere.”

You know, “She’s driven. She’s focused.”

But I don’t know how far you’re going to go

if you can’t keep your head above the parapet.

I’m sorry. I… I should have been honest.

Don’t apologize to me.

Apologize to yourself.

I would hate to see you lose out on opportunities

because of a need to play nice.

It’s a very female trait, and it holds us back.

It will not happen again.

It better not.

Oh, one more thing, Vivienne.

I want you to make a presentation to the press

and prospective students on our upcoming open day.

Even after this?

Yes. You’re our head girl.

And having a strong, smart, young woman of color leading the way

shows how progressive we are as a school.

So it’s about how it looks.

Of course it is.

Here’s the video and the slides for you to prepare with.

Uh, will you be coming to the Student Forum?

Perhaps there’ll be some interesting ideas I can add to the presentation?

Why would I want to come and listen to a bunch of teenagers whinging on

about their insignificant problems for an hour? No, thank you.

[sighs] I’ve had quite enough of this navel-gazing,

identity-obsessed hysteria for one day.

The quicker you and your fragile, petty little peers realize

that you’re not that special

and that the real world doesn’t care about your supposed issues, the better.

I’d like to ask you about your childhood, Michael.

Can you tell me about your mother?

She was quiet.

And gentle.

And she loved to cook.

And she always smelled rather lovely…

Of shampoo.

[sentimental music playing]

And your father?

Dad. Well, he…

He was just different from my mum.


Terrible, Dad, terrible.

You’re supposed to stop it.

I think Michaela’s crying, Dad!


Why are you crying?

Stop it! You’re a boy!

Boys don’t cry.


When was the last time you cried?

Can’t remember. [sniffles]

Not even after your separation?

And what do you do that brings you pleasure?

Are you suggesting I…



Believe it or not, Michael, I don’t think everything comes back to sex.


What I’m asking is,

what do you do that makes you feel joy?

I don’t think I feel that emotion.

[emotional music playing]

Very often, Michael, when children are bullied by a parent,

they falsely learn that emotions are a sign of vulnerability,

and so they shut them off.

What I’d like you to do

is to find something

that makes you happy.

[door opens]

Um, thank you.

And I’m sorry I said that thing about…


That’s really okay.

However, in your case, Michael,

masturbation might not be such a bad idea.

[Jean] You okay?

What happened?

Oh, well, I just messed everything up. Again.

‘Cause I am clearly incapable

of forming healthy relationships with anyone.

[Otis sighs]

Is this about Maeve?

I’ve never told you about Maeve.

[mischievous music playing]

Aimee mentioned, just briefly, in her session with me

that you’d had a romantic tension with someone called Maeve,

and something happened at the party that you had here,

and you fell out over something you said.

Do you want to talk about it?

No, I don’t want to talk about it.

Jealousy can make us act out of character and say things we don’t mean.

Was there another boy on the scene?

You’re doing it!


I can’t believe you had the audacity to tell me to stop giving out advice

because I was being unethical.

You are the most unethical woman in the world!

Why won’t you let me help you, Otis?

Help me?

How could you possibly help me?

You push every man you come into contact with away.

You literally suck at relationships.

Where is this coming from, Otis?

You brought Jakob into my life. You make me live with Ola like a sister.

And I like having them around. It feels normal, for once.

But that’s over,

isn’t it?

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

[emotional music playing]


[Anna] Thank you.

[Maeve] My pleasure.

This is my fault. I should’ve told you what my mum is like.

Maeve, this is not your fault.

You’re 17. You shouldn’t have to deal with stuff like this anyway.

It’s too much.

[car engine starting]

Will you stay tonight?

[upbeat music playing]

[indistinct chattering]

Eric, what do you think of the wedding?

Auntie Beryl!

[laughs] It’s good! It’s good, you know. I think?

I don’t know. I’ve not been to many.

Ah. You will go to more.

[both laugh]

[Beryl sighs]

Hmm. Ah!

See Emeka?

Mummy was heartbroken when Beatrice didn’t marry him.


[Beryl] Hm.

His family is good.

Very wealthy!

Ah! He would have given your mother the world.

Uh, and what about my dad?

Your father? [chuckles]


[tuts] He was a very local guy! So bush!

Hm. You see?

Mummy didn’t even think he had any prospects.

Wow, wow.

But he’s proven us all wrong.


And he has made a name for himself in England.



They barely gave me any stew!


[speaking angrily in Yoruba]

Auntie! [laughs]

[upbeat music continues]


[music stops]

[Ola] Hey.

I’m so sorry she did this to you.

I was happy not having any friends.

And then you came along and made me feel like I wasn’t so strange after all,

but it was just a lie.

You told me not to submit my story because you said it was weird,

and then you judged me.

I was only trying to protect you.

You shouldn’t be speaking to me.

[melancholy music playing]


Hey. Um…


Thanks for sticking up for me. What Hope did was complete bullshit.

I know.

And I think we should fight this.

All right. Let’s do it.

[phone chimes]

[Hope] I’ve had quite enough of this navel-gazing,

identity-obsessed hysteria for one day.

The quicker you and your fragile, petty little peers realize

that you’re not that special…


…doesn’t care about your supposed issues…

I’ve had quite enough of this navel-gazing,

identity-obsessed hysteria for one day.

…hysteria for one day.

The quicker you and your fragile, petty little peers realize…

[upbeat music playing]

[indistinct chattering]

[camera shutter clicking]

[camera shutter clicking]

Weddings are weird, right?

Can you imagine dancing to a whole room of people looking at you?

I think I’d like it.


My name’s Oba.

Uh, I’m Eric.

You must go to a lot of these, then?

Oh. No, not really.

The groom is my close friend.


I’ve always taken photographs as a hobby, and he’s a bit cheap.

[both laugh]

[Oba] It’s funny. I feel happy for them, but also a bit sad.

Because I know I’ll never have this for myself.

Do you know what I mean?


I thought

we weren’t supposed to talk about that here.

There are lots of people like us here. We just have to speak quietly.

I’m going out after this if you want to meet them.

Uh, no, no. I, uh,

I don’t think I can.


[emotional music playing]

[door chime rings]

[knocking at door]


[door opens]

What are you doing here?

[door closes]

I feel bad

that you got suspended for me.

I got suspended for my beliefs.

I, uh…

I’m trying to write a poem for Eric, and I thought you could help me.


You want me to help you write a poem for my ex-boyfriend?

Forget it.


Let me see the poem.

[whimsical music playing]

“Eric, you make me smile…”

Do you have to read it out loud?


This is a bad poem.

You need to write from your heart.

Not overthink.

You shouldn’t try to write poetry because I write it.

I’m not. I’m… I’m…

I’m writing it because Eric likes it.

What about you? What do you like?

I… I, um, I like…


I’m a cat person.

Of course you are.

[“Short and Sweet” by Brittany Howard playing]

♪ There are miles between us ♪

♪ Time between us ♪

♪ There is something between us ♪

♪ I may be a fool ♪

♪ To dream of you ♪

♪ But, God It feels so good to dream at all ♪

♪ Something short and sweet ♪

♪ There’s always a light Over my head for you ♪

♪ I am waiting, I am waiting… ♪

Oh yes!

♪ Time will always try to kill me ♪

♪ There are mountains between us ♪

♪ There is time between us ♪

♪ Oh, ain’t there something between us? ♪

[phone chimes]

Your drink, sir.

Thank you.


Unbelievable, man.

Are you sure you don’t want to see the rest of Lagos?

I’m sure, Oba.


[Eric] Oya!

Take me to my people, then.

[“Fall” by Davido playing]

♪ Money fall on you, banana fall on you ♪

♪ Prada fall on you ♪

[Eric] Oh! Well, we’re out in Lagos, baby!


Where are you taking me, then?

You’ll see.

Somewhere sexy? Somewhere fun?

Somewhere a little bit sweat? [laughs]

[Oba] Yeah, man. Here now.

Yeah, okay. Thank you. I’ll be right back.

You… What?

Where are you running off to?

So I… I just don’t know you that well, and I think I should probably go.

[Oba] What? We just got here.

Where are you taking me?

You’ll see.

No, sorry, where did you go before?

I was checking escape routes.


I’ve got you.

It’s okay.

You’re going to love it. I promise.

[girl 1] All right, love.

[girl 2] What’s all of this rubbish with this small club boys, eh?

[hip-hop music playing]

Omo England! Welcome!

Oh. [laughs]


Oh my gosh! You look incredible!

[Oba] Mm, mm, mm.

[Oba] Bow bow! Ah!


Hey, sister. How are you?

Hey, how you doing?

Hi! How are you guys?

Okay. [chuckles]

Thank you!

[Oba] Don’t worry. You are getting there.

You’re not ready. You’re not ready!

I don’t actually even know.

You’re gonna dance up in here! [laughs]

[Eric] Ooh la la.

Oh my gosh.

[“Joro” by Wizkid playing]

How do you feel?

Like I’ve come home.


[song fades]


[whimsical music playing]




[Eric whispers] Oba, wake up.


Oba, wake up. I… I need to go home.

My family will be worried.

[Oba] Okay.

It was nice to meet you.

What do you mean, nice to meet me? How am I supposed to get home?

We’re in Lagos!


I’m kidding.

I’ll make sure you get home okay.


[both laugh]


Did we…



[Oba chuckles]

[chicken clucking]

Where were you? I was worried!

I was out with Oba.

He showed me some of Lagos.

Why didn’t you tell me?

Well, you were too busy flirting with your ex-fiancé.

[scoffs] Eric, that’s…

No, Mum.

I was so excited to come back here, you know?

And all we’ve done since arriving is lie.

Why’d you tell everyone Dad is a successful accountant?

Your dad is an accountant. At least, he was when he lived here.

No… no, but he’s not back home.

So… [scoffs] …why don’t you tell the truth?

Are you ashamed of him?

Not at all!


But my mother didn’t always approve of your father. It’s been easier to lie!

[Eric sighs]

Do you wish you married that Emeka guy instead of Dad?


No! That man is so vain!

We were never the right fit. Not like your father.

What do you mean?

Being with your dad, I always felt at peace.

I don’t want to pretend, Mum.

[emotional music playing]

Not here or anywhere.

I love that you’re not afraid to be yourself, Eric.

[Eric sniffles]

Maybe one day I’ll get there too, hm?

But it takes time.



I’m sorry for scaring you, Mum.


I’ll make you something to eat, hm?

[Beatrice chuckles]

[emotional music continues]

[phone chimes]

[pensive music playing]

Thank Abeo for my beautiful presents.

Tell him he must visit next time!

[Beatrice] I will tell him.

[Eric chuckles]

Oh, Eric!


You let me know when you get yourself a girlfriend.

Actually, Mummy, Eric is dating someone.


I told him not to tell you until he knew it was serious.

Huh. Ah!

[Eric chuckles]

What is she like?




They don’t talk much,

but they really love dogs.


And, uh, they can be very kind.


And they make me laugh.

[both laugh]

A lot. [laughs]

And I think you’d really like them.

Laughter does wonders for the heart. They sound like a good choice.

Come on.


[car engine starting]

[“Attention” by Tiwa Savage playing]

♪ Break, oh ♪

♪ Enough of your promises ♪

♪ You say you gon’ make it up to me ♪

♪ But you keep getting worse o, worse o ♪

♪ When was the last time you carry me go ♪

♪ Cinema to see a movie ♪

♪ You don’t take this thing Like play o, play o ♪

♪ And when last you tell me to bend over ♪

♪ Make you jam the ting enter ♪

♪ I guess you’re giving it To someone else ♪

♪ If you no give me quality attention ♪

♪ Attention ♪

♪ If you no give me quality attention ♪

♪ I might get it from somebody else ♪

♪ Body else ♪

♪ I might get it from somebody else ♪

♪ If you no give me quality attention ♪

♪ Attention ♪

♪ If you no give me quality attention ♪

♪ I might get it from somebody else ♪

♪ Body else ♪

♪ I might get it from somebody else ♪

♪ O sun mi o, oro re tin sun mi o ♪

♪ O sun mi o, oro re tin sun mi o ♪

♪ O sun mi o, oro re tin sun mi o ♪

♪ O sun mi o, oro re tin sun mi o ♪

♪ Before na you dey do the caring Calling, texting, chatting ♪

♪ Now na me dey do the things That you used to do ♪

[song ends]


Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Read More

Weekly Magazine

Get the best articles once a week directly to your inbox!