Paradise
Season 2 – Episode 5
Episode title: The Mailman
Original release date: March 9, 2026
Episode plot: Five years prior, mailman Gary Jones discovers his post office has a fallout shelter from the Cold War. After reading conspiracy theories, he joins a group of online survivalists with his friend Ennis and plans for the worst. On the day, he and Ennis rescue a neglected boy, Bean, and encounter Teri as the EMP activates. They take shelter with the rest of Gary’s group. Teri and Gary grow close and try to keep spirits up, but Ennis becomes controlling. Gary builds a transmitter for Teri to broadcast, but Ennis later destroys it. Teri synthesises biofuel, planning to drive to Colorado with Bean. A large group arrives by freight train, telling Ennis and Gary they are going to Colorado to restart the world. Having fallen in love with Teri, Gary kills Ennis to stop him telling her, not wanting to lose her or Bean. In the present, Gary lies to Xavier, saying the group is hostile and took Teri and the others by force after Ennis betrayed them. Xavier plans to rescue her, and builds an IED with the help from Gary’s friends Crystal and Jack.
* * *
Transcript
Note for Students & Writers: This transcript is archived here for educational purposes, critical analysis, and screenwriting study. All rights belong to the original creators.
[♪ “Mr. Jones” by Counting Crows playing faintly]
♪ I was down at the New Amsterdam ♪
♪ Staring at this yellow-haired girl ♪
♪ Mr. Jones strikes up a conversation ♪
♪ With a black-haired flamenco dancer ♪
♪ You know, she dances while his father plays guitar ♪
♪ She’s suddenly beautiful ♪
♪ And we all want something beautiful ♪
♪ Man, I wish I was beautiful ♪
♪ So, come dance the silence down through the morning ♪
♪ Sha-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, yeah ♪
♪ Uh-huh, yeah ♪
Hey, Gary.
How you doing today, young man?
Fine, Mrs. Brown, thank you.
♪ And pass me a bottle, Mr. Jones ♪
[dog whimpering]
Hey.
♪ Believe in me ♪
[dog barking]
♪ Help me believe in anything ♪
[residents arguing indistinctly]
[resident 1] Yeah, it fucking matters! You were gone two hours.
Two hours that you fucking disappeared!
Bring that fucking money in here.
[resident 2] Get your fucking hands off of me, you…
[resident 1] I’m not even fucking touching you!
[resident 2] Oh, my God! Let go!
[resident 1] You fucking crazy bitch!
Fuck off!
[indistinct shouting continues]
♪
[resident 1] You’re taking my money and you’re…
[gamer] [over computer] Oh, dude, you just saved my life.
Hey, it’s nice to play with someone who knows what the heck they’re doing.
[gamer] Tell me about it, no shit.
I’m sick of getting matched with 10-year-olds
talking about whatever the fuck.
[chuckles] Totally.
[chiming]
[gamer] Hey, I just sent you
a friend request. You wanna go again?
Yeah! That– Uh, yes.
Hi, Gary. How about this weather?
Yes, ma’am, it’s pretty warm.
[♪ light music playing]
[Gary talking to dog]
[dog barking]
[Ennis] [over computer] Hey, did you read the manifesto of that nutso
who shot Bradford last week?
Uh, no, not really.
The dude had a whole conspiracy theory that a secret group of billionaires is building a bunker in Colorado.
[exhales sharply] Whoa. Why?
The apocalypse, bruh, that’s why.
[chuckles]
It’s insane, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, so okay, what’s your zombie apocalypse plan?
What? Bruh, come on, you know.
Zombie apocalypse plan.
Where would you go? What would you take with you?
Who would you save? You know, the classics.
Oh. Oh, uh, yeah, I, I guess I don’t know.
I, uh…
I guess I don’t, uh, really have anyone.
Uh, yeah, that’s okay. Yeah, uh…
Yeah. Yeah, I, I don’t have anyone either.
I don’t, I don’t have anyone either.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
[podcast host] When we’re talking about emergency preparedness, I’m not talking about Bug Out Kits, prepper stuff.
What matters is air, water, food, shelter.
[Ennis] This nurse was hot. I’m saying, my God, she was hot.
Wow. Can you believe it?
No. I thought nurses were only hot in porn.
[laughing] Oh, dude. Yeah.
Okay, so that’s when I realized we’re gonna need people with skills for our zombie apocalypse plan.
Yeah.
[Ennis] Okay, yeah, so I’m an engineer.
We need a nurse. A hot one, obviously, okay?
[Gary chuckles] A mechanic, a carpenter, or a builder.
Y-You don’t happen to be any of those, right?
[Gary] No.
[Ennis] Probably a gardener, someone who can grow food, duh.
[Gary] Yeah!
[Ennis] You know, no kids, no families, no pets, no spouses, just lonely motherfuckers like us.
[Gary] Yeah.
[Ennis] And like I said, we need a Navy SEAL
or maybe Spec Ops, someone, you know, with an arsenal.
Uh, I don’t know, like– Well, we’re gonna need protection.
There’re gonna be guys with guns out there.
I know, but like, what if our guy with a gun turns on us?
Okay. Okay, you have a point.
[Dr. Louge] [on video] Once the eruption triggers the tsunami, habitable areas will become scarce.
It will be hours, maybe minutes, before the nuclear powers move to secure what they can.
We’re talking all-out nuclear war, brothers.
[Dr. Louge] [on video] The volcano will shoot thousands of kilometers of ash into the stratosphere.
The surface temperatures will plunge.
[♪ unsettling music playing]
Do you have any food?
Huh?
I’m hungry.
Uh, oh!
Yeah.
Here, this has some protein in it.
[wrapper crinkling]
What’s your name?
Don’t you go to school?
Is, uh, there anyone inside taking care of you?
[Dr. Louge] [on video] Forget days.
I-It won’t be habitable outside for three to five years.
Do you understand what I’m saying?
There is no running away from this.
[♪ somber music playing]
[door creaking]
[Gary] Dude, I freaked myself out today.
[Ennis] What happened?
[Gary] I was at work, and I noticed it had these thick concrete walls, so I looked into it, and apparently, in the ’60s, 1,500 post offices were designated fallout shelters to protect from nuclear bombs, and radiation, and EMPs.
Mine was one of ’em.
[♪ gentle music playing]
It needs work.
We’d need time to plan, but I think we could live there with five to 10 people f-for years, if we had to.
[rain pattering]
[Ennis] Wow, this shit just got real.
Those people you found, the nurse, the mechanic, do you think they– Yeah.
Yeah, you know, I can ask them, tell ’em what we’re planning, see if they’re in.
We keep it small, just seven of us, and we’re gonna need a shit ton of supplies.
[Gary] Well, I can start ordering stuff, stocking the place, sending stuff to P.O. boxes there.
I mean, no one ever goes in that basement.
[Ennis] Yeah, but how are you gonna pay for all that?
[Gary] Well, what else am I gonna use my pension for?
[Ennis] Man, I don’t know, dude.
It’s gonna be really disappointing when none of this shit ever happens.
[laughing] Don’t say that.
[Ennis] [chuckles] What? I’m just…
[Gary continues laughing]
Man, from one lonely motherfucker to the next, you know?
[TV playing, reporter speaking]
[phone buzzing]
[reporter 1] …walk-off home run last night and I’m sorry.
We have a breaking news development regarding this morning’s volcanic eruption in Antarctica and all of those haunting images that we’ve been seeing.
Okay, we’re gonna send you now to our news division in New York.
[reporter 2] If you’re just joining us, we have reports that the tsunami created by the vaporization of the Antarctic ice sheet is headed up the coast of South America…
I’m coming for you.
Send me your address.
[air raid sirens wailing]
[Ennis] Hey! Oh!
[Gary] Hey. Oh.
[Ennis] Whoa, hey!
Hey, Ennis?
Uh, I’m Ravi, but from now on, yeah, call me, call me Ennis.
Okay, I-I’m Gary, hi.
Hey, uh, hey. Oh.
Nice to meet you.
Hey, man. Yeah, nice– Yeah.
Um, so I really thought we’d said no guns.
Yeah, well, I told you, man, we need protection.
So, I brought protection, okay?
Oh, okay.
Final checklist?
[Ennis] Yeah, okay.
The nurse, mechanic, gardener, woodworker, survivalist, and propane are already down there.
Last stop, the eggs, so we can,
so we can hatch the laying hens.
That’s it?
[Ennis] Yeah. Uh.
[phone alert blaring]
Yeah, and we gotta hurry. We gotta hurry. We gotta hurry.
Um, hold on.
Hey.
What are you doing?
Be right back.
I’ll be right back.
Hey, Gary!
Hey! What are you doing?
Gary! Big P! Hey, we gotta go!
Hey, hey, you need to go inside, okay?
Are your parents home? Do you have a basement?
[sighs]
Shit! [groaning]
[♪ tense music playing]
Ma’am? Hello?
Hey! Hey!
Come on, ma’am. Hey, your son needs you!
Um, okay.
[sighs] Alright.
Uh, hey, listen to me, okay?
Something bad is happening. I am going somewhere safe, alright?
Do you wanna come with me?
Okay.
You– Okay. Alright, alright, alright, let’s go.
Oh, God.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, what are you doing?
[Gary] We have room.
This isn’t a part of the plan.
It is now.
Uh, alright.
Come on. Go, go, go.
[air raid sirens continue wailing]
[Gary] I mean, I know it wasn’t our plan. I get it, but–
[Ennis] I mean, we only planned for seven. He’s just another mouth to feed.
[Gary] We should have plenty of supplies.
Do you want me to leave him there in the dirt?
[Ennis] We can’t take care of a child. I mean, how old is he?
Come on.
[Gary] Hey.
Uh, we have to go get some eggs.
I need you to stay right here, okay?
[Ennis] Oh, come on.
Okay.
[Gary] [softly] Okay.
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
[vehicle honking]
[tires screeching]
[vehicles crashing]
[honking]
[drivers shouting in street]
[sirens continue blaring]
[driver 1] Get out of the road!
[shouting continues]
[dog barking]
[driver 1] You’re blocking the whole road!
[driver 2] Dude, come on!
[driver 3] Maybe we can push it!
[honking]
[overlapping shouting]
It’s okay.
Let’s go!
[dog continues barking]
[sighs]
[honking]
[sirens continue blaring]
[dog continues barking]
[overlapping shouting]
I’ve loved every minute with you.
[sobbing] Promise me something.
[helicopter whirring]
Be a good father. Be a good father to them.
[phone beeping]
Xavier?
Xavier, Xa… Shit.
No! No!
[helicopter whirring]
[clanking, screeching]
[panicked chatter]
[person screams]
[explosive crash]
[people screaming]
[♪ dramatic music playing]
[overlapping shouting]
No, we gotta keep moving!
[driver 4] I don’t know, the grid’s down!
[driver 5] Hurry up!
Hi, uh. Hi, I’m Teri.
What’s your name?
I’m Bean.
How did you get out here by yourself?
Where’s your mommy?
[Gary] Kid!
Hey! Hey, kid. Hey, come on, let’s go.
Is this your daddy?
No.
I’m, I’m not his daddy, I…
Kid, come with me.
Are you fucking kidding me?
No, no.
[♪ tense music playing]
[Ennis groans]
Ma’am, the entire world is about to go poof.
We have a safe place to go.
I am taking the boy there. I am just trying to help him.
If y’all want to live through this, would you please get in the truck with us?
♪
[overlapping shouting]
Okay.
♪
Okay, come on.
Alright, come on.
Yeah, it’s okay. Okay.
Alright. Buckle up.
[♪ music fades out]
Where is she?
I’m sorry, would you just put the gun down?
Where the fuck is my wife?
It’s a long story.
I’ve got time.
I survived the last three years here with a small group of people, including your wife. My best friend… he betrayed us. He gave up our location and a group of armed men came and took her. They took everyone. Okay? Would you just put the gun down now?
How many men?
Five or six.
What kind of weapons?
I don’t know, weapons aren’t my thing.
Why? Why did they take them?
Do you know where they took her to?
I d– I don’t know.
Is it guarded?
I don’t know.
How many men was it again?
I don’t, I don’t know.
You don’t know anything?
Five or six.
You don’t know anything about the weapons or anything else?
Look, I would– I w– I will tell you everything I know. Just put the gun down.
[♪ tense music playing]
[birds cawing]
Okay, this is it. Okay. [Gary panting] Alright, here we go. Okay. It’s right down here.
[door opens]
Okay.
[loud booming]
[group gasping]
[Ennis] Jesus, shit, that was close.
[booming continues]
[group exclaiming, panting]
Right, uh…
Right, um, okay.
Uh, hi, everyone, um…
I– You guys, uh, know me.
The guy who probably sounded pretty nuts talking about preparing for the end of the world.
Um… but we’re, uh, we’re really glad you’re here.
Um, this is my best friend, Gary.
This…
Oh. Yeah.
Yeah.
Hi, I’m Gary Jones, United States Postal Service. How are you all doing?
I think maybe let’s, uh, start with some more introductions. Your name and what you do. Uh, I’m Ennis. I’m an engineer. Alright.
Hi, I’m Roberto. I’m a carpenter.
Um, and my name is Jackie. Or Jack. Mechanic.
Um, I’m Ruth Rosenberg. And Ennis was so sweet when he told us about his plan. And of course, I didn’t think it was ever going to happen, but–
[Ennis clearing throat]
Oh. [chuckles]
I garden.
[Ennis] Uh, thanks. Thank you, Ruth.
Uh, Bob Gordon. Um, I’ve been a survivalist since I was this kiddo’s age.
[Ruth chuckles softly]
[Ennis] Thank you.
Uh, Crystal?
Oh, um, hi. Um, I’m Crystal Song. I’m a, I’m a nurse. I, I just need to say, I thought it was super weird when you first were telling me about all this stuff, but… man, I am really glad that I’m here.
Um, and you are?
Uh, I’m Dr. Teri Rogers-Collins, a mycologist. I study mushrooms.
Huh. Well, that sounds helpful.
And, uh, this is Bean.
Hi, Bean. Are ya hungry?
Not yet, Ruth. Jesus, I mean…
This group was specifically chosen because, together, we all have the exact skills we need to survive down here. As Ennis told you when he approached you, we believe an ELE, or extinction level event, has befallen humanity. But don’t worry, the fallout shelter has walls thick enough to protect us. Outside, there may be fried electronics, natural disasters, nuclear fallout, or worse. We’re safe here. We must stay inside for the next 21 days to avoid any potential radiation, and then this post office will be our home for the next three to five years until the ash cloud dissipates.
Uh, I’m sorry, what?
As we speak, there is an ash cloud encircling the planet that will make life uninhabitable for the next three to five years.
I have a family. I have to get to Colorado to be with them.
I know. I’m… I know that this is scary. It’s all happening so fast, I… We have everything that we need to survive, right here, for a long time. Let’s start by surviving. Can we start there?
[baby whining]
[baby fussing]
[shushing]
You have a way to heat water? She needs a bottle.
[Gary] Yeah.
[baby continues fussing softly]
[baby fussing]
[items clattering softly]
[shushing]
Okay. Okay.
[liquid pouring]
[♪ soft music playing]
♪
[quiet chatter]
Gettin’ it?
Yeah, I got it.
Turn it… Other way. Other way. There you go.
[shushing]
[Gary] [whispering] Oh, sorry.
Hey, you two don’t have to share a bed.
I know we planned for seven, but all I need’s a few blankets.
I’ll be fine on the floor.
It’s okay.
Have you rested since we got here?
[sighs]
Well, I’m not– But you–
You just look tired and–
[sighs] I have chronic back pain.
Scoliosis.
Speak your mind, Gary.
Just fucking say it, dude.
Okay.
You spent all day staring at a broken phone… while everyone else is helping.
[scoffs]
I’m saying this because Ennis doesn’t like you.
He thinks you’re an extra mouth we don’t have the rations to feed.
His instincts say kick you out.
And you?
I’m a 38-year-old mailman.
I’ve never led anything resembling a great life.
I didn’t even have bad instincts. I had no instincts, but…
I felt something about you.
I felt it on the street… when I saw you holding the boy’s hand.
My instinct is that you’re gonna be a big part of this.
You’re gonna help people.
I will help get you to your family the moment that it’s safe out there.
But that is a long time from now.
Right now, we need you.
He needs you.
♪
That was her bed.
We took that the day before she was taken.
When?
Twelve days ago.
Twelve days.
Jesus.
[baby whining]
They took her.
They took our boy.
I know where they are, and I tried to rescue them, but I couldn’t.
I couldn’t.
I’m just a mailman.
Show me.
[distant chatter]
[loud clanking]
They arrived two weeks ago. Just stopped here.
Five armed guards–
There’s 16.
There’s five guys patrolling with M16s.
Another four on either side of that passenger car, plus one down by the engine.
And about 200 yards down on the right, there’s a sniper.
This isn’t a trained unit.
But by the way they’re laid out, they’re guarding something.
Who are these guys?
I’m not sure. We kept to ourselves.
Barely ventured out, even when we started to see more people.
What do they want with your friends? With her?
Don’t you think I’ve asked myself that?
Come up with some pretty horrifying answers.
I can get in there.
How?
How are you going to take out 10 armed men with one gun and a baby?
There’s 16.
And I’m not.
There we go.
Where’d you get the baby?
It’s a long story.
What’s her name?
Annie’s baby.
That’s her name?
That’s what I call her.
[shushing]
[baby babbles]
[whispering] Goodness gracious.
I can hold her if you like.
You may know my wife, but I don’t know you.
No one touches this baby except for me, you got it?
Okay.
Sorry, I just want to help.
You can help by finding the things we need.
Old cardboard, mail tubing, packing tape.
You said they took your weapons. You got any bullets left?
[softly] Come here. Come here.
What about car battery?
[baby fussing]
Anything that can give us a spark of electricity?
We used up all the batteries we brought.
Anything outside the shelter was dead.
But I know you had something that could power a radio.
That might be tough.
[chicks chirping]
[quiet chatter]
[grunts]
Thanks. You got that so easily.
[both chuckle]
You’re cute when you blush, you know?
Now, remember, we power essentials only, just like downstairs.
[Teri] He is catatonic over there.
He’s been through a lot.
Yeah, but not just him, Gary.
And Ennis acting like a military commander is not helping.
I mean, is this really the life you guys were fighting for?
We have to make a life for this kid, a childhood.
We have to do more than just survive, or we’re never gonna make it.
Do you know what’s coming up soon?
[door opens]
Bean? Hey Bean, wake up.
Wake up.
[inhales, grunts]
I have something to show you.
Come on.
What is this?
This is Christmas, honey.
[wind whistling]
There were a ton of packages that never got sent, so we can even do Christmas presents. [chuckles]
[♪ “Blue Christmas” by Mason Ramsey playing]
[indistinct chatter]
♪ Without you ♪
Stop being a Grinch.
♪ I’ll be so blue ♪
♪ Just thinking ♪
Go on, open it.
[wrapping paper crinkling]
[group exclaiming]
[laughter]
Hey!
There he goes.
[Gary] It’s a Polaroid camera.
[laughter]
Thank you. I’m, I’m gonna take pictures all day.
[laughing] Thank you.
Beautiful.
You don’t like it.
[Ruth] No, I do!
[laughter]
♪ …blue snowflakes start falling ♪
[present rattling]
“World’s Number One Dad”?
[laughter]
Thank you, babe.
Alright, let’s wrap it up.
Five more minutes, we have to conserve fuel.
[Ruth] Stop.
Merry Christmas. ♪ You’ll be doing alright ♪
[laughter]
I couldn’t resist.
I couldn’t help myself.
♪ Blue, blue, blue Christmas ♪
Hey.
Hey, I got something to show ya.
Oh, yeah.
♪
I, uh, I, I did get you something.
Um…
Ennis doesn’t think it’s a good idea, might attract attention.
But I told him that we need to know what’s going on out there, and who knows, maybe we can find a way to send a message to your family.
What is it?
Oh, um, it’s a radio.
I built it for you.
I built it for you, so you can transmit.
Oh. [exhales sharply]
Oh, my God.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Um…
Oh, my God. I’m so sorry.
No, it’s okay.
Teri, I’m so sorry.
No, it’s, it’s, it’s fine.
That was so inappropriate of me.
Okay, okay.
Gary.
I, I would never, um–
Gary, I need you to look at me.
I need you to hear me.
You saved my life.
I will never be able to repay you, but I’m gonna spend however much time we have here trying to… and I’m gonna give you everything that I’ve got.
But I cannot give you that.
Okay.
I, I can live with that.
Friends.
Partners.
[wind whistling]
[♪ uplifting music playing]
[metal creaking]
[Gary] Okay, [indistinct].
[Teri] Okay!
[♪ hopeful music playing]
[exhales] We did it!
[both laughing]
Well, alright, I’ll leave you to it.
Okay.
This is Teri Rogers-Collins.
Okay.
[Bean] Wow.
Bean, that’s you!
[Teri] I’m looking for my husband, Xavier Collins.
[Teri and Gary laughing]
Where’d you get these?
Which one of the chicks are those?
[Teri] He’s with our children, Presley and James.
No.
[Teri] They were headed to a complex in Colorado.
Will you marry me?
Of– [laughing] Yes!
[Teri] I’m trying to find out if they made it.
If they’re safe.
[laughter]
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
[overlapping chatter]
[Gary] A toast. A toast.
[Teri] Wow!
[excited chatter]
[glasses clinking]
[Teri] I was supposed to be with them.
This is Teri Rogers-Collins.
I’m with a group of survivors.
I’m searching for my husband.
Thanks, Bean.
Hey. Thank you.
[Teri] If you know the whereabouts of Xavier Collins… if you’re listening…
You got it, buddy.
[Teri] …please tell my husband…
Oh! Thank you.
…tell him… tell Xavier…
Just tell him I love him.
Motherfucker.
Gary!
[Gary] What?
Oh, my God!
I’m gonna kill him.
Oh. Oh, alright, Teri, let’s just take a beat, though–
No one dangerous is going to find us.
I’ve been doing this for two and a half years.
If they were coming, they’d’ve come by now.
I know.
I… I just don’t think he wants anyone to leave.
I think this is the most important he’s ever felt.
[Gary] We never got it working again. She confronted him.
Almost threw down, honestly, but he played dumb.
It was a standoff.
Motherfucker.
I spent every day for the last three years thinking she was gone.
And then I heard that voice.
A message she sent me from right here.
That will not be the last time that I hear my wife’s voice.
We gotta get a battery.
Uh, why?
What is all this for?
I’m gonna go back to that train. I’m gonna create a distraction.
And draw them out so I can go in and get Teri.
What kind of distraction?
A bomb.
[birds chirping]
[Xavier grunts]
[♪ hopeful music playing]
All we need is something we can use as a detonator.
You sure this place will have that?
I’ve never been there, but they’re the only ones we can trust.
[Bean] Where are we going?
What’s this state?
Wyoming?
Close.
Colorado.
We’re going to Colorado.
And you know how we’ve been tracking the weather
for our climate studies project?
Mm-hmm.
Well, it’s warmer now, more normal, so that means we can travel soon.
So, that’s why we’ve been making all that gunk.
[both chuckle]
Fuel, yes.
And we need to make more so we can drive there.
Can I go look for mushrooms?
Sure. Just make sure you’re back
in time for dinner.
I will.
And you know the rule, Bean.
Bring ’em back so I can check ’em before you eat any.
I will!
I don’t want you tripping balls.
Teri, you’re not going with him?
Oh, we have to let him roam.
Can’t hold on too tight.
Okay.
[Teri wincing]
[Crystal] Almost done.
Okay… You’re good.
[sighs] Thanks, Doc.
Jackie and I are moving out.
What? Where?
Those travelers last month who told us about that group
settling at the high school gym?
Yeah?
Jackie went by to check it out, and it’s just a few people looking to set up a swap meet.
Place for people to come and trade, and…
I mean, we’ve been wanting our own space for a while.
But it’s not just that.
So…
I was a home health aide, not a nurse.
Okay, but that’s like a nurse.
Yeah.
You know, I made sure my patients didn’t mix up their pills.
I held their hands as they died.
I was good at it.
You know, I was good at helping people die.
But…
I always wanted to help people live.
I’m starting my own clinic at the swap meet.
Open to anyone who needs help.
Wow!
[chuckles]
You should come with us.
[sighs]
You know I’d love to, but, uh… but you know I can’t.
I have to get to Xavier.
[birds cawing]
[Gary] So, they’re off.
Teri will probably be leaving soon too.
I know you still care about her.
No.
We’re just friends.
How ’bout you? Uh… you good?
[engine sputtering]
I know you always thought you and Crystal would get together.
[engine sputtering]
Ah, she’ll fall for me soon.
[engine starting]
[Jackie] Yes!
[Crystal] Yay!
[sighs] It’s just me and you again, P.
The two loneliest motherfuckers in the world.
I officially converted the engine to run on biodiesel.
Now, you just need enough to get to Colorado.
Three blue barrels. I got one.
Well, you have to come visit us first.
Of course, I will.
What are you gonna call it?
[auctioneer] Welcome to the Funderdome!
For one full tank of propane, the final bid is five unopened Hidden Valley Ranch packets and two Holiday Inn Express soaps.
Going once. Twice.
Sold!
[gavel banging]
Sashay on over, Miss Ranch Packet.
We got more to go. Next!
Speaking of next…
‘Scuse me.
Looking for a working car battery.
[auctioneer] …butane canisters and a ham radio.
Alright. How much for those two old field walkies?
And, um, is that a clacker?
That’s perfect, I’ll take it.
What you got?
What do we got?
Uh…
How ’bout that pistol? That work?
This?
Sure… Not mine, king.
I ain’t seen a working car battery in three years, but you asking for one.
So, you ain’t a local.
We good people around here, doing our best.
We don’t want any problems.
You seem like a problem.
Take your pistol and go.
[Jackie] Gary?
Gary! Shit, it is you!
Oh, my God, Jackie. Hey.
Oh, my gosh.
Baby. Baby, look who it is.
Oh, my God! Gary, what?!
[chuckles] Hi. It’s good to see–
It’s been forever! You look taller.
[Gary] I know. [chuckles]
[Crystal] Oh.
[Gary] Uh, uh, Crystal, Jackie, this is Xavier Collins.
Jesus Christ.
Holy fucking shit.
[auctioneer] Yes! That’s it! What do I have?
Wait, where’s Teri?
I came back. They had taken everything.
Everyone’s gone.
Gone? How?
Ennis.
He told others where the post office was.
I think he’s working with ’em.
That motherfucker.
You know, I’ve never met anybody as nonstop as Teri.
She figured out how to make penicillin.
She made biodiesel out of mold to get to Colorado, to get to you.
I mean, the only thing that could slow her down was her back.
I remember two years in, she lifted too much.
We practically had to strap her to the bed out by the heater to get her to recover.
She was ordering us around for three days.
I had to read to Bean every night.
Those, uh, Lemony Snicket books?
[scoffs] Terrible puns, by the way.
But yeah, we’d do anything for her.
I’m gonna get her back. And I built a bomb to do it.
We came here for supplies, and radios, ammo, and a clacker to set it off.
But that old-ass biker boy wouldn’t sell.
Hey, Dollface.
Yes, Jack?
Give our friend Xavier here whatever he’s asking for.
He’s Teri’s husband.
Alright… Alright.
Teri really had you read to the kid?
Man, I was doing the voices and everything.
Not well. [chuckles]
She’s as healthy as can be.
Look, if there’s ever anything else you need… we’re here for you.
I made a promise to get her to her daddy.
I’m gonna walk through fire to rescue Teri today.
But tomorrow, I’m gonna come back for her.
Hi, sweetheart.
We’ll keep her safe for you.
[Xavier sighs]
[♪ gentle music playing]
Hi, Ennis.
You’ll be leaving soon?
Yep. And I’ll be out of your hair forever.
You taking the kid?
Gary and I think it’s best.
Okay.
What is it, Ennis? Talk.
I don’t hate you. I don’t.
I didn’t like you. I’m still not sure I like you.
But I never hated you, Teri.
I put a lot of thought into this place, me and Big P, for years before, together.
And it worked.
It did. Saved us, Ennis.
[sighs]
Still not sure I like you, but I have grown to respect you.
Your perseverance, even in the face of consistent abject failure to achieve a frankly impossible goal–
Where is this going?
I’m sorry I destroyed your radio, Teri.
Is that it?
Yes.
No, no. Um, I’m not an engineer.
[chuckles softly] Uh, I’m not.
I, I, uh, I installed internet at people’s houses.
I was, I was basically a cable guy.
I was trapped in a life I hated so much that when I started planning all this with Gary, it’s because…
[chuckles] …it’s because I wanted someone I cared about as much as you care about your family.
I think that’s what I respect the most about you, Teri.
You love in a way that scares me.
[chuckles]
He loves you, too, that way, and when you leave him, it’ll break him.
I know.
[Bean] [panting] There’s a train!
There’s a train full of people.
A train? A train?
Yeah.
What do you mean, a moving train?
[Bean] Yeah.
We should go check that out.
If they’ve been able to conduct a train here, that means they’re finding enough viable fuel, rebuilding.
Okay. W– What do we do?
We check it out.
You stay here with the kid.
It could be perfectly safe, Ennis.
Yeah, or they could shoot us right away. You stay here with Bean.
Here.
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
Can I ask you something?
You wouldn’t let me so much as smile at that baby.
One story, and you leave her with strangers?
Bedtime’s tough for kids. They always stall.
You gotta get ’em through teeth brushing, PJs, stuffed animals, what have you.
But my favorite part was always story time.
It’s one of the biggest fights I had with Teri.
She always insisted on being the story reader.
Said I did the voices wrong.
Then, I realized it was sacred to her.
To be the voice our kids hear as they drift off and dream.
If she chose them to read to Bean, she trusts them.
There’s something you’re not telling me, Gary.
I’d choose sooner rather than later to fess up.
Holy shit.
[guard] Drop the guns!
Whoa, okay. Alright, alright.
Drop ’em. Put ’em down!
[guard] Show me your hands!
Am I correct in assuming that the curious mushroom-hunting boy is with you?
Yes, ma’am. We don’t want any trouble.
Come on, let me pour you some coffee so we can talk.
Okay.
Let’s go. Let’s go.
Grab their guns.
Alright.
Alright.
I know, it can be a little jarring.
Everybody’s just on high alert.
Yeah.
[clearing throat] Uh, how’d you get the engine to work?
Diesel fuel doesn’t–
It’s only good for about a year under normal conditions.
We were near an army base.
They used something called renewable diesel.
It’s good for about 12 years.
Worked like a charm until we used it up, so we stopped here to refuel at the air reserve base nearby.
Uh, Dobbins?
Yeah.
Sit down.
[liquid pouring]
I learned early on… that you have to hold on to the things that make you feel like you.
Cheers.
[softly] Cheers.
You ever hear of Teachers Without Borders?
[Gary and Ennis] No.
That was me.
We’re part of a group like that now that’s trying to help people, get things going again, trying to restart the world.
We’re on our way west to join up with the rest of them.
Why out west?
I can’t tell you that.
I’m not the leader anyway; it’s a kid.
Kid named after a video game, you believe that shit?
Mm.
Oh, I’m sor– I’m sorry.
It’s okra seed coffee. Real thing’s hard to come by.
Sure.
Alright.
In two weeks, we’ll be gone.
You know anybody with skills who might want to join us?
We’re going to Colorado.
♪ I was down at the New Amsterdam ♪
Let ’em out.
♪ Staring at this yellow-haired girl ♪
[Ennis] Holy shit.
All this time, Teri’s been trying to find a way there.
She doesn’t need another barrel of biofuel.
She can just get on that train.
♪ She dances while his father plays guitar ♪
♪ She’s suddenly beautiful ♪
Xavier.
♪ All want something beautiful ♪
I have been keeping something from you.
[sighs] Tell me.
Two weeks, she can leave with me, any of us.
She, she could actually fucking make it to that goddamn family of hers.
Hey.
Hey, man.
Hey, I’m so sorry.
I was in love with her.
I, I was in love with her.
But she, she never felt the same way a-about me.
She was my partner, and I loved her.
And the best way I can honor that is by getting you to her.
♪ Help me believe in anything ♪
Come hell or high water.
♪ ‘Cause I wanna be someone ♪
♪ Who believes ♪
You know, you need to brace yourself, pal.
Teri and the kid, they’re as good as gone the second we get back and tell them there’s a train heading to Colorado.
I know you thought you had a bunch more time with them–
[gunshot]
♪ She’s looking at you ♪
♪ Oh, no, she’s looking at me ♪
[body thuds]
♪ Smiling in the bright lights ♪
♪ Coming through in stereo ♪
♪ When everybody loves you ♪
Then, let’s go get my wife.
♪ Well, I’m gonna paint my picture ♪
♪ Paint myself blue and red and black and gray ♪
♪ All of the beautiful colors are very, very meaningful ♪
♪ Yeah, well, you know gray’s my favorite color ♪
♪ I felt so symbolic yesterday ♪
♪ If I knew Picasso ♪
♪ I would buy myself a gray guitar and play ♪
♪ Mr. Jones and me ♪
♪ Look into the future ♪
♪ Yeah, we stare at the beautiful woman ♪
♪ She’s looking at you ♪
♪ I don’t think so, she’s looking at me ♪
♪ Standing in the spotlight ♪
♪ I bought myself a gray guitar ♪
♪ When everybody loves me ♪
♪ I will never be lonely ♪
♪ I will never be lonely ♪
♪ Said I’m never gonna be ♪
♪ Lonely ♪
♪ Mr. Jones and me ♪
♪ Stumbling through the barrio… ♪
[♪ music fades out]
[♪ fanfare]
