Palm Royale
Created by: Abe Sylvia
Based on: Mr. & Mrs. American Pie by Juliet McDaniel
Stars: Kristen Wiig (Maxine Dellacorte-Simmons), Ricky Martin (Robert Diaz), Josh Lucas (Douglas Darby Dellacorte-Simmons), Leslie Bibb (Dinah Donohue), Amber Chardae Robinson (Virginia), Laura Dern (Linda Shaw/Penelope Rollins), Allison Janney (Evelyn Rollins), Carol Burnett (Norma Dellacorte)
Premise: Set in 1969, outsider Maxine Dellacorte-Simmons (Kristen Wiig) strives to attain a place in the high society of Palm Beach, Florida, through the town’s most exclusive country club, the Palm Royale, in the process learning what she will and won’t do to achieve this.
Season 2 – Episode 1
Episode title: Maxine Drinks Martinis Now
Original air date: November 12, 2025 (Apple TV+)
Episode plot: Maxine Dellacorte is committed to a psychiatric hospital, Sunny Tides, following Robert’s shooting and her public breakdown. While Linda is wrongly arrested, FBI agent Virginia uses her arrest to her advantage. Unconscious Robert is in the ICU, and his aunt Norma (Agnes) watches over him, determined to keep her secret and cut Maxine out of the Dellacorte family in favor of Douglas’s pregnant mistress, Mitzi.
Linda helps Maxine break out of her hypnotic state, and Maxine escapes to find Robert. She overhears Norma threatening Robert and vowing to destroy her. Douglas visits Maxine, showing false concern, but later conspires with Norma and Mitzi. Meanwhile, Dinah’s fiancé, Axel, is found dead after a meeting with Norma, and Robert wakes up, saying the name “Agnes.” Maxine escapes Sunny Tides, seemingly with Evelyn’s help.
* * *
[“Comin’ Home Baby” playing]
[Maxine] It was the beginning of a new season.
Like a rising sun, the dawn of a new season brings a fresh start to all.
[gasps] Wow!
[Maxine] Bygones stay gone.
Unpleasant memories forgotten.
[gasping]
[Maxine] Every trespass passes, because time and true wealth heal all wounds.
Maxine Dellacorte.
Mrs. Dellacorte. Your cocktail.
[Maxine] Oh.
Thank you, sir.
Ooh. Delish.
Poopers, um, it’s not really my drink.
How’s about a grasshopper?
Come again.
[Maxine] Oh, criminy crickets.
Where’s Robert?
Robert?
I fear it’s going on time for his big number.
[Maxine] Big number?
[Benny] It brings me no small amount of pleasure to welcome to the stage of the Palm Royale…
You know ‘im, you love ‘im.
He took a bullet for Dickie Nix.
Robert Diaz!
[singers vocalizing]
♪ I’m comin’ home, baby, now
I’m comin’ home now, right away ♪
♪ I’m comin’ home, baby, now
I’m sorry now I ever went away ♪
♪ Every night and day
I go and stay ♪
♪ I’m comin’ home, baby ♪
♪ Come on home ♪
♪ Comin’ home, baby, now ♪
♪ You know I’m waitin’ here for you ♪
♪ I’m comin’ home now, real soon ♪
♪ You’ve been gone ♪
♪ Comin’ home, baby, now ♪
♪ You don’t know what I’m gonna do ♪
♪ I’m comin’ home, I know I’m overdue ♪
♪ Since you went away ♪
♪ Expect me any day ♪
♪ Now, real soon ♪
♪ Now, real soon ♪
♪ I’m comin’ home ♪
[singers] ♪ Come on home ♪
[Robert] ♪ Comin’ home, baby, now ♪
♪ You know I’m prayin’ every night ♪
♪ That everything is gonna be fine ♪
♪ Please come home ♪
♪ Comin’ home, baby, now ♪
♪ I want to feel you holdin’ tight ♪
[Robert] ♪ Expect to see me now, anytime ♪
♪ When I’m in your arms I’m all right ♪
♪ When you’re in my arms I’ll be fine ♪
♪ I’m comin’ home ♪
♪ Come on home ♪
♪ I’m comin’ home, baby, now ♪
♪ You know I’m counting every day ♪
♪ I’m comin’ home now
Yeah, yeah, yeah! ♪
♪ Use the phone ♪
♪ I’m comin’ home, baby, now ♪
♪ And, baby, let me hear you say ♪
♪ I’m comin’ home
You’re hearin’ what I say ♪
♪ That you’re comin’ home ♪
♪ And I never will go away ♪
♪ I’m coming home! ♪
♪ Come on home ♪
♪ I’m comin’ home, baby, now ♪
♪ You know I’m waitin’ at the door ♪
♪ They can’t hold me back now, no more ♪
♪ Come on home ♪
♪ I’m pressin’ on, baby, now ♪
♪ And pacing up and down the floor ♪
♪ Oh, hear me holler, hey, hear me roar ♪
[singers] ♪ Say you’ll be with me ♪
♪ Gonna be with you ever more ♪
♪ I’m comin’ home ♪
♪ Come on home ♪
[Robert] ♪ I’m comin’ home, baby, now ♪
♪ Oh, baby, say you’re comin’ home ♪
♪ That’s what I say
I say I’m comin’ home ♪
♪ Something’s wrong ♪
♪ The road is long, baby, now ♪
[scream]
♪ You ought to either write or phone ♪
♪ I’m comin’ home
And never more to roam ♪
♪ Baby, tell me you’re comin’ home ♪
♪ Baby, I’m for sure comin’ home ♪
♪ I’m comin’ home ♪
[singers] ♪ Come on home ♪
[Robert] ♪ I’m comin’ home, baby, now ♪
♪ I’m comin’ home ♪
[singers] ♪ Come on home ♪
Robert!
[Robert] ♪ I’m comin’ home, baby, now ♪
[Robert] ♪ I’m comin’ home ♪
Robert!
♪ I’m comin’ home ♪
♪ I’m comin’ home
I’m comin’ home ♪
[song ends]
Max, Max.
[Douglas] You’re in good hands now.
What? No. Please!
Can you just calm down?
Please! No, I don’t want that!
They’re trying to help you. Give it…
No! No! Please, help!
[Douglas] They’re just trying to help you out, Max.
[distorted chattering, laughter]
[Mitzi] I’m pregnant.
[elevator bell dings]
[Maxine] No.
It was not the beginning of the season.
It was the beginning of a nightmare.
[Norma] What makes Palm Beach Palm Beach?
[faint clamoring]
[Norma] Any strip of coast has sun, sand and sea.
[pants]
[Norma] But we have something more.
Are you coming, darling?
[kisses] Hey.
[Norma] We have mystery.
You know what to do.
[Norma] And we maintain that mystery by allowing only glimpses of ourselves.
We are Palm Beach.
The apex of civilization.
[Tom] The man who was shot is an American hero.
The best way to honor him is to put away his assailant.
[Linda] Where are we going?
The woman I found with the smoking gun, literally.
[guard 1] Here we go.
Linda Shaw.
[Linda] I didn’t do anything. Please!
[Norma] What would the mere mortals of the world do if we gods became known?
[Eduardo] I guess with Linda in jail that makes our future a little more secure.
[Evelyn scoffs]
That’s awfully craven of you, darling.
[sighs] But astute.
[Norma] How our fortunes would change in an instant.
Tomorrow she’ll be moved into the wives’ wing, a clublike atmosphere.
Perfect for the nervously exhausted, alcohol-dependent or stubbornly autonomous.
But for what she’s in for?
What do you call it?
A Baker hold.
Well, it’s essentially a 5150.
A responsible party can sign her out in three days if she demonstrates she’s no longer a threat to herself or others.
It was supposed to be my crowning moment.
Can’t we just go back?
Go back to the Palm Royale.
Well, of course we can.
Where’s Robert?
[Norma] But when gods become known, they cease to exist.
How did you know my name, my darling?
Maxine has broken with reality.
Whatever medication they’re giving her, she thinks she’s at the Palm Royale.
For her sake, I hope she keeps believing that.
I’ve ruined everything, Aunt Norma.
Quite the contrary.
You’ve finally done something right.
Virginia? Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Thank God.
Is Robert okay?
I don’t know.
But you were there.
You know I tried to stop it, right?
You’ve got to tell them.
Please tell somebody.
[shushes] Look, you’re safe here for now.
Your ass could be in county.
Or worse, federal prison.
This was all Mary.
To be honest, I didn’t even see Mary, but I pulled some strings, and I got you in here in the nick of time.
Pulled strings? What?
That local cop thinks you did it.
Damn fool.
As long as you’re committed, they cannot arrest you.
Not for three days.
How do you know all this?
How are you in here?
Because…
I’m the man.
[Linda] What…
The fuck?
In times of chaos, what we of Palm Beach do without fail is we protect Palm Beach.
We protect our way of life.
From without and from within.
Pinky and I didn’t mean you harm.
Can you blame me for making the most of the moment as you yourself would have done?
You conspired to turn my beloved home into a club while I was indisposed.
But now you’re not indisposed.
Correct.
For the formerly embolized, now resolute, a fiery cape of dragon-scale brocade cuffed with magnificent mink.
[sighs] But you are perhaps, Evelyn, my biggest regret.
Aligning yourself with that gutter slut to commandeer my event and abscond with its proceeds.
I was simply trying to keep things going as you would have wanted.
Now you’re back and all is right with the world.
Not quite.
Yes, not quite.
H-How is Robert?
Get on with it, Grayman.
Next we have the fabulous Felicity, outwardly a tropical paradise, but within a vengeful, flaming phoenix.
It’s all so terribly sad.
Linda never could be trusted with a gun.
Rumor has it, Linda’s saying she was only trying to stop Mary.
[Grayman] Sophia is a siren’s song in this dangerously au courant coral confection. [chuckles] It’s pathetic defense, really, blaming it all on a crazy birdbrain.
Speaking of birdbrains, dare I ask, how is Maxine?
Dead.
To society.
She’ll never cross the threshold of the Dellacorte, the Palm Royale, or any of your simple minds as long as I breathe.
And a finale.
Presented without comment. [gasps] Well, what does everyone think? [chuckles] That it’s dazzling, simply dazzling.
Oh… [gasps] …Norma.
Your approval means the world considering you were once the love of Axel’s life.
Indeed, all he talks about is you.
Oh, a schoolboy’s crush. [chuckles] Brave of you to go through with it when you’re already married.
This is Palm Beach, not Provo.
When Perry disappeared last season, I had him declared dead for tax purposes.
Legally, I’m a widow.
Still, it’s a bit rushed, no?
You’re telling me, rushed.
Axel’s already at his attorney’s, making me sole beneficiary of his estate.
Well done.
I can’t take the credit.
Axel, bless his heart, felt so guilty because he was the last one to speak to dear Robert before he was shot.
He felt so close to the tragedy.
It made him acutely aware of his mortality.
[echoing] Agnes.
I bet. [chuckles] Ladies, a party in honor of the happy couple.
At the Dellacorte, of course.
Oh, you don’t have to.
Let the wedding season begin.
One marriage of financial convenience does not a wedding season make.
Oh, dear, I’m certain that yours will be the first of many.
[Maxine] What a beautiful day.
Am I right, ladies? [chuckles]
[sighs]
Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?
I’m leaving.
It’s better for everyone.
Leaving? Robert.
Well, what’s that mean?
Max, I couldn’t sleep last night thinking about you being here.
You know the Palm Royale is my favorite place under the sun, forever and always.
I’m just so sorry for what I did to us.
T-To you.
Don’t make a scene when we’re at the club.
Because when we are at the club, everything…
Every, uh, teeny tiny thing is perfect.
Max, honey.
[Maxine] Mmm?
How many martinis have they given you?
Mmm. I don’t know.
I’m not a math magician.
But Robert did just bring me this delicious grasshopper. [chuckles] Mmm.
Max, it’s only the first day, but, um, i-if you keep up the good cheer, I’ll be able to take you home the day after tomorrow, okay?
[kisses]
Do you love her?
[Douglas] No, I don’t… love her.
I’m sorry, I’m suddenly being filled with…
What is it? [breathing heavily] It’s rage.
[stammers] How about I get you another martini?
I think that would be in your best interest.
[breathes heavily, groans]
I was definitely right.
Hi.
Ow!
Oh.
Oh, you’re so powerful.
Powerful is an understatement, my beautiful one.
The off season is usually a time to regroup, sober up, think about what one hath wrought or what rot one has been subjected to.
But this off season, the game is ratcheted up a notch. [grunts]
[grunts]
Your backhand is lethal.
With Linda certain to fry, we have grounds to contest Skeet’s will.
Why would we contest the will?
Linda swore she’d give you the house and half the trust.
You trust that hippie cooze to honor a pinky swear?
She’s been a thorn in my hide for 40 years.
Fuck her.
Why settle for half when we could have all?
God, I love this.
I’m reminded of that Longfellow poem, “I stand in a fork at the crossroads of the precipice of life.”
You mean Frost, “The Road Not Taken”?
No, I’m certain it’s “A…
A fork at a crossroad by a precipice.”
Are you sure?
I’m sure, I’m sure. I went to college.
Oh, well, I didn’t.
[Virginia] Are you a complete idiot?
I saw what I saw. I can’t unsee it.
There’s an innocent woman locked away in a padded cell.
And when her hold is up, she can be locked away forever based on your word.
So what? We’re supposed to believe your word?
The word of a radical feminist?
My bookstore was an FBI front to keep an eye on subversives.
I explained it ten times.
Subversives like Linda Shaw.
I caught her with the smoking gun practically in her hands.
Never heard practically hold up in a court of law.
Was it in her hands or wasn’t it?
She dropped it after she fired.
Or Mary did. At Linda’s feet.
Did you not see the initials on the gun?
MD, Mary Davidsoul?
She was radicalized.
Had us locked away in a wine cellar all night so she could shoot the president.
You’ll excuse me.
The boys from Washington just got here.
What do they want with you?
Seems J. Edgar’s pretty pleased with my work on this case.
Offered me a desk right here.
Guess you’re not so special anymore. Huh, agent?
Asshole.
Oh, Linda.
You are so fucked.
[Linda breathes heavily]
Psst. Maxine.
What in the helter-skelter?
Is that Linda I hear?
[Linda] Down here!
[Maxine] What are you doing in the basement of the Palm Royale?
This isn’t the Palm Royale.
We’re both at Sunny Tides.
Sunny Tides is a loony bin.
What would two sane women like ourselves be doing locked up in the cuckoo club?
What kind of pills have they been giving you?
[Maxine] None.
But I have been enjoying some delicious martinis.
[Linda] Repeat after me.
“My name is Maxine Dellacorte, and I drink grasshoppers.”
Please!
[Maxine sighs]
My name is Maxine Dellacorte and I…
Drink…
Grasshoppers.
[Linda] Yes.
My name is Maxine Dellacorte and…
I drink grasshoppers.
I’m Maxine…
[groans, pants]
Well, I think my noggin is finally defogging.
[pants, gasps]
Linda!
[panting] What is the meaning of this?
Get me out of here!
We can’t leave here.
We’ve been imprisoned by men.
Me by the lawman, and you by your husband man.
Douglas was just here and…
[breathing heavily]
…so was Robert, and…
[stammers] Where is Robert?
They took Robert away in an ambulance.
If he’s… [groans] …still alive, he’d be in the ICU.
I see you too, Linda.
No, the ICU on the other side of this campus.
You have to see if he’s okay.
How? [pants]
[Linda] It’s easy.
It’s on the fourth floor of the building that is just beyond the iron fence.
Got it.
[gasps] Somebody’s coming. I gotta go.
Good luck, Maxine.
Bye, Linda!
[breathes heavily] Okay.
[panting] Where’s…
[gasps, pants] Zipper.
Come on, zipper.
[grunts, inhales sharply]
[gasping, breathing heavily]
[grunting, panting]
[gasps]
[groans] Ow.
[breathing heavily]
[shushes]
[breathing heavily]
[a cappella music playing]
[grunts, pants]
Where’s the…
[guard 2] We have a code 11 on a Baker hold.
Repeat, code 11.
[panting] Escapee from the wives’ wing.
Crackers.
Oh, that’s me they’re talking about.
[panting]
[whimpering]
[orderly] Go left!
[grunts, pants]
[panting]
[siren wailing]
[music ends]
[breathes shakily]
[rhythmic beeping]
[door closes]
[sighs]
[sighs] My poor friend.
[sniffles] You got to pull through, hear me?
Isn’t the world such a rotten place?
We need people like you. [chuckles] I need a person like you.
Look, if you can hear me, you just lay there looking distinguished and handsome.
Okay.
I love you too.
[doctor] Mrs. Dellacorte.
[Maxine] What? Me?
[doctor] Right this way.
Dellacorte.
[Norma] Thank you, Doctor.
Oh, no.
[Norma] How is he faring?
[doctor] He’s touch and go. [sighs]
Dare I say, leaning towards go.
Once he wakes up, if he wakes up, speech will be our first sign of hope.
And from there we can assess him for brain damage.
Thank you, Doctor.
Had that terrible woman not come between us, none of this would have happened.
I will destroy her once and for all.
Oh.
What would my life be without you? [sniffles] I pray I never have to find out.
[breathes shakily]
I know who told you about Agnes.
[“These Boots Are Made for Walkin'” playing]
The “Laundry folding to perfection” seminar is now under way in the Coconut Room.
And remember, ladies, every morning is a good morning here at Sunny Tides.
Come and get me.
I told you no more than two miles an hour on that thing or I’m taking that chair back!
♪ These boots are made for walkin’ ♪
♪ And that’s just what they’ll do ♪
[phone ringing]
♪ These boots are gonna
Walk all over you ♪
[sighs]
Hello. [sighs] Douglas, it’s Norma.
She’s plotting my demise.
That sounds…
Wait, Max, how are you calling me?
I know. I know it sounds crazy, but I overheard it with my own ears when I escaped the wives’ wing, and I snuck into the ICU.
When you what from the what and escaped into the what?
Douglas, it’s Norma.
She is evil incarnate.
She-She tried to drown me off Dinah’s boat.
[stammers] She tried to poison me.
I never even got to tell you about that.
Ouch. [grunts] Max, what’s happening?
[grunts] Sorry, Mrs. Dellacorte.
All right, I’m-I’m coming down there, okay?
[song fades out]
Maxine?
[breathing shakily]
[Norma] Dear heart.
Where are you going?
[Mitzi] It was nice of you to let me stay the night, but I don’t know if Douglas wants to be involved. I…
Norma wants to be involved.
Palm Beach just… [breathes shakily] …isn’t me.
Then we will make a new you.
Come, sit down.
[breathes shakily, sniffles]
You’re scared.
But the truth is, the world is yours.
If you have the courage to take it.
[Douglas] How you doing there, Max?
Oh, come on! Is this necessary?
She bit my ankle.
I am taking this off.
Sir…
I am her husband.
I will take full responsibility if anything goes wrong.
It’s your ankle.
[grunts, breathes heavily]
That is rich.
What’s rich?
You taking responsibility for something, anything.
[sighs, smacks lips]
I deserve that.
Oh, you deserve so much more.
[inhales deeply]
But the martinis this place keeps giving me is making the piece of mind I wanna give you a wee milky.
[breathes heavily]
[sighs] That’s the thing.
The doctor says that coming out of an acute trauma…
[sighs] The sedatives can cause hallucinations.
She will destroy me if you don’t stop her, Douglas.
I heard her.
[stammers] And I am sure that you did…
[sighs] …but you keep thinking that you’re at the club…
[sighs] …Robert is serving drinks.
Palm Beach is a game, and Norma is playing it without me.
Max, honey, I know that I gave you a horrible shock, but III need you to stay calm.
[scoffs] ‘Cause that would be a little more convenient for you?
I want you to come home.
[Maxine] But I won’t be able to if I have feelings, right?
I.e. acknowledge…
That you have gotten another woman knocked up.
[grunts]
[sighs]
Oh, don’t you… No, no.
Don’t put it like that.
Don’t you huff and puff.
It’s my turn to huff and puff.
Why you gotta put it like that?
[sighs] Well, let me put it in a way that will make you more comfortable because it just seems like you’re having such a hard time.
Look at me.
I’m angry.
[breathes deeply]
But I can’t act like I’m angry because then people will say that I am crazy.
So I have to act like everything is okay.
But it’s not okay.
Because in addition to what you did to me, my sweet Robert is at death’s door.
And Linda is locked up. [breathes shakily] And here I am where I am not allowed to be angry or crazy.
Well, you just keep lounging in the sun.
[sighs]
Mitzi.
Oh, good. Here you are.
Look, we need to talk about our situation.
[Norma] Yes, we do.
Sit.
Douglas, when I said you’d finally done something right, what do you think I meant?
Should this baby take, and it seems like it certainly will, it will unlock the Dellacorte generation-skipping trust.
Scads and scads of money that’s just been sitting in a Swiss bank collecting drifts of interest for nearly a century.
But of course, it must be a legitimate heir, born from a legitimate marriage.
So, Douglas, you will divorce Maxine and marry Mitzi before the baby is born.
I just need everything to slow down. [sighs] My baby is…
Rich?
Oh, my, yes.
So, um, it would behoove you, Mitzi, to continue living here where your, uh, incubation can be monitored.
And certainly Maxine’s little Beach Ball crackup… [chuckles] …is grounds for annulment.
Conveniently, her stay at Sunny Tides could be extended for, say, what, I don’t know, maybe another…
[clicks tongue] …five months?
Or, should it be necessary, five decades.
I’m just not comfortable with this.
I need to think about what’s…
What’s best for you.
Best for the baby.
And of course we’ll throw you a wedding fit for royalty.
Why did you never tell me this?
Because you’re stupid, Douglas.
You can never be trusted to do the right thing.
I am not stupid. [inhales deeply] I am a man…
Who loves his wife, who sometimes does things that might seem to be stupid.
But so help me, Norma, whatever the dumb thing to do is now, I am going to do the opposite!
♪ I wanna be loved ♪
[Eduardo] All of this is ours? [chuckles]
A room for your birds?
A formal dining room?
[chuckles] Whoa.
Whoa, indeed.
I’m gonna clean up.
Not too clean.
♪ Instead of merely ♪
Don’t make me wait.
♪ Holding conversation ♪
Oh, good God, I’m gonna need money to keep him.
Lots of money.
♪ I wanna be kissed ♪
[squawking]
♪ Starting tonight ♪
[squawking continues]
[peacock calls]
Mary.
[sighs] [stammers] No, Mary, stop.
[Mary sniffles]
Mary! Mary, what the devil are you doing in the old bootleggers’ tunnels?
[inhales deeply]
Will you keep my secret? [grunts] Sure.
I might have done something crazy.
Oh?
It was me.
It was all me.
What was you, pray tell?
[chuckles] The grand gesture.
Is no one looking for me?
Not yet.
Well, that’s disappointing, on a certain level.
[gasps] Oh. Oh.
And I feel terrible about Robert.
Is he going to live?
Luckily, seems he is.
[sighs, sniffles] And Nixon?
[sighs] Unluckily.
Then I’m innocent.
Not quite how it works, Mary.
[sighs] If I get caught, I’ll get jail.
Or worse, Sunny Tides.
My dead husband, David Davidsoul, sent me there after the birth of each of my children and each Christmas time festively…
Mary. [sighs] [sniffles, inhales deeply] I am doing my best to keep my house and new lover, whose beauty is rather intimidating, and the thought of you inexplicably popping out of paintings when we’re potentially in flagrante posits a problem.
I promise not to peek.
Mary, thank you for trusting me with your secret.
I will guard it with my life.
Now, I will keep you safe.
I will bring you breakfast tomorrow.
You just stay put until all this blows over, and it will.
It’ll just take some time.
Okay.
Evelyn.
Has my life had so little impact?
Stay in your hole, Mary.
[upbeat music playing on speakers]
I thought I’d know more people here.
It’s nice that you came by.
For what it’s worth, I felt quite terribly for you the night of The Beach Ball.
[sighs] Well, you’re the first person to say that.
I say one empathetic thing a year, and now that card has been played.
[inhales deeply]
I wanted to bend your ear.
It’s just awful. [breathes shakily] Dinah, what is it?
[sighs] Axel…
Decided to will everything to me before we even get married, and now I’m quite riven.
Especially as Norma is throwing us a party tomorrow to celebrate.
[sighs]
Dinah, I’m lost.
Uh… [stammers] …what is the issue?
I’m in love.
[whispering] What? Dinah.
With who?
Perry, of course.
The Perry I know?
Great. Perry, your husband.
It’s good to be in love with your husband.
Alas…
Perry doesn’t have any money.
[sighs] Dinah.
[sighs] Look at me.
Okay. [sighs] We don’t know how much time we have with the people we love.
Choose love.
Dare I ask after Douglas?
Well, he’ll… he’ll be here tomorrow to pick me up and…
And take me…
Um, so we’ll…
[Dinah] You’ll what?
We’ll… [sighs] Live together under one roof with Norma?
While your former nail girl incubates…
[sighs] No.
…your husband’s love child?
Ugh. No.
This reminds me of the story of Dominique de Marché.
Who’s Dominique de Marché?
Oh.
[whispering] Dominique de Marché.
The wife of Charles de Marché, the marshmallow magnate of Mississippi.
Marshmallow?
Loaded.
He impregnated his 21yearold secretary, and Dominique was so upset, he justified putting her on a Baker hold right here at Sunny Tides.
Then… Stay with me.
Oh.
He made such a huge bequest to the board that they declared her unfit.
[gasps] That’s horrible.
She was never seen in polite society again.
What? Did they kill her?
Might I be plain?
There’s another level of plain?
Yes.
Please.
I never thought I’d be marrying Axel, but here I am.
I never thought I’d fall back in love with Perry.
But I have.
People do crazy things.
When faced with money, they make choices they wouldn’t normally make.
Because money equals freedom.
And, my darling, where are you?
Wake the fuck up.
The off season?
Oof… [sighs]
[Maxine breathes heavily] She’s a killer.
[guard 3] You have five minutes.
Who says?
Now, don’t make this harder for me.
Leave us or you’ll soon be out of a job.
[stutters] Uh, yes, ma’am.
Ew. Is that a…
[Linda] Dead body.
The morgue is down the hall.
Trust me, I’m not getting used to it.
You don’t have to.
Do you mind if I take the chair?
Make yourself at home.
You always seem to find yourself at the center of chaos.
What is it with you and guns?
I’ve seen your parlor.
I could say the same.
Yeah, peas in a pod.
Make no mistake about it.
They’re going to make sure you fry for this.
You’re the poster girl for everything the government wants to squash.
A radical.
A feminist.
And perhaps the scariest of all…
A woman with her own money.
I guess you know a little bit about that, huh?
Mmhmm. Happy to say I do.
I wish they’d question Mary.
Mary has gone to ground.
Besides, she’s the hardest to pin anything on, anyway.
No one can ever remember when she’s even been in a room. [chuckles] But the gun has her initials on it.
No.
M.D.
Stands for Maxine Dellacorte.
You tell them that Maxine was behind it all.
I’ve already laid the groundwork.
All you have to do is confirm it.
She radicalized your feminist group, taking it over from the inside.
And before you knew it, you were going along with her insane plan to kill the president.
She invited him to the party.
You…
You were merely the trigger woman.
A naive, impressionable socialite…
Who got caught up in it all.
Tell them that in exchange for your freedom.
You really hate her that much?
It’s very likely she’s going to be in here for quite some time.
Perhaps forever.
Just like Dominique de Marché.
De Marché.
You’re ruthless.
Oh, for God’s sake.
She’s going to be in here anyway.
Let it buy you your freedom.
But she’s my friend.
[imitating Linda] But she’s my friend.
We play dollies together.
[normal] Being born rich has ruined you.
Look in the mirror.
You stupid, ungrateful brat.
Kevin!
[stammers] Uh, is there a problem?
You have my permission to get her out of my cell.
You never truly understood how the world works.
How tragic.
Soon you’ll be out of time to learn.
Isn’t Linda saying she was only trying to stop Mary?
She hasn’t found a single person to corroborate that story.
There’s us.
Do you like playing tennis on your very own home court?
I do.
Then zip it.
As long as Mary’s MIA and Linda’s in jail, we’re sitting pretty.
[grunts] Let’s take a break.
I think better when I’m physical.
Do I get Linda’s money, help Norma institutionalize Maxine, then ruin Norma’s plans for an heir by coaxing Mitzi away from nuptializing?
Or do it the other way around?
On the one hand, I’m happy the short-lived reign of Maxine Dellacorte is over.
On the other hand, I’m feeling a twinge of guilt about the fate Norma’s planning.
[exclaims] [yelps]
[Evelyn] Oh, fuck a duck.
Did I forget myself for a moment and completely shatter your sense of masculinity?
I truly am sorry.
[huffs] You don’t need to be sorry.
I’m surprised, emasculated, and completely aroused.
But, Evelyn, don’t lose your humanity.
Humanity.
[blows raspberry]
[bell rings]
[Maxine chuckles, inhales sharply] Just confirming that my threeday hold is up today at 2:00 p.m.
Yep.
Well, I gotta get my life back on track.
[elevator bell rings] Because it’s 1:45. I’m ready to go.
Actually I’ve been ready since 7:00 a.m.
Dominique, that is not the way to bingo!
[sighs]
Dominique de Marché?
[ominous music playing]
[breathes heavily]
[Norma] Haven’t we all been through so much these past few days?
But I am so grateful to Dinah…
Mmm.
…and Axel for giving us the opportunity to show the world how Palm Beach carries on.
[guest chuckles] [Dinah] Yes. Shall we get you a snack?
[kisses] Kiss, kiss. [chuckles]
Thank you.
Right here.
Beep, beep. [chuckles]
[Axel chuckles] There we go.
[Axel] Oh.
My darling.
What, sweetheart?
Would you mind if I ran outside to get a breath of fresh air?
Of course not.
Aw. You’re a peach.
I’ll be right back. [sighs] You will. Okay.
[Dinah] Okay.
I’ve been neglecting you for so long, dear friend.
It’s high time I set things right.
Finally.
Yes.
[sighs] Finally.
[kisses]
[Dinah] I can’t do it, Perry.
I can’t keep hurting such a harmless man who knows so many maritime knots.
Babe.
I won’t be a pawn, like Mitzi.
I am not a pawn. I’m… I’m…
Whoo, what’s another chess piece?
The one that can make an L.
That’s who I am.
The horse.
Not the horse, Perry.
[inhales sharply] What I’m saying is…
Mmm.
…no matter the square…
I’m Dinah Donahue.
Not Rosenhips.
We will find another way back to wealth.
[inhales deeply] You’re the queen.
I know.
Don’t drink too much.
[chuckles] Fat chance of that. Yeah, here again.
[Dinah] Hello, Bob and Evelyn.
[Douglas muttering, inhales sharply]
Uh, Dellacorte.
[groans]
Look, sorry, man. I can’t talk right now.
I gotta pick up Maxine.
You lost me a lot of money.
It’s not my fault that Norma came back from the dead.
Well, you better find a way to make up for it, or else…
You get it?
[imitates slicing sound]
[person laughs, wheezing]
[Dominique laughs] Um.
Uh, just one more thing.
Could you make that skirt just a smidgeon longer?
Killjoy.
[laughing continues]
Bert, my usual, please.
Perry?
Dougy Buggy.
Isn’t it weird that you’re here?
[smacks lips] It is weird, isn’t it?
[chuckles]
You know what’s even weirder?
Dinah is breaking up with the old geezer for me and turning her back on his whole fortune.
You know what I call that?
Love?
Stupidity.
Don’t be stupid, Dougamus.
I am not stupid.
[Douglas] I guess I make her crazy.
[laughing, shrieking]
[Douglas] Truly crazy.
[horn honking]
Oh, Axel.
I can’t look at you.
This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
[inhales sharply]
I’m going to be the bigger person.
My darling, no amount of money is worth feeling like I am robbing you of the last best years of your life.
You deserve to be with someone who loves you.
Someone like Norma.
And…
And I do too.
So, I’m going to take a chance.
[breathing heavily]
And choose love.
Say something, please.
I’ve broken your heart.
I deserve your cruel silence.
I know it’s your way.
Your way of freezing me out.
But your withholding is an outrage.
I never realized how chilly your hands are.
Where are the cuff links I gave you?
Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce you to the newest member of the Dellacorte family.
[crowd gasping, murmuring]
[majestic music playing]
Poor, poor Maxine.
Hmm.
[Dinah] He’s dead!
My beloved fiancé, the wonderful Axel Rosenhips, who I was definitely not breaking up with, is dead!
[crowd gasping, exclaiming]
[Dinah] Is there a doctor in the house?
Hurry!
Please! [sobs]
[chattering continues on TV]
[laughing, shrieking] [actor] Oh, well.
Dominique.
On second thought, forget it.
Darrin would have a fit…
I need your help.
[actor] I’ll do it!
Try and get me!
[elevator bell dings]
Try and get me!
[whoops] Dominique. How many times have I told you to stop that?
[stammers, grunts] Stop that!
Get out of here!
[Dominique whoops, laughs] Dominique, you stop that right now.
[Maxine] It’s me. Don’t hang up, please.
Please.
[breathes heavily] Look, you’ve done things to me.
And I’ve done things to you, too, I guess.
But you, please… You…
You cannot leave me here.
[breathes shakily] Just…
Just give me another chance.
Please.
[exhales deeply]
Goodbye, fellas. Goodbye, those who gave me shots against my will.
Your ride is waiting.
Thanks, Peg.
[triumphant music plays]
Oh.
Goodbye, ladies.
Goodbye, Maxine.
[melancholy music plays]
Goodbye, Dominique.
I’m so sorry about what happened to you.
Don’t come back.
[“Comin’ Home Baby” playing]
[Maxine breathing heavily]
[rhythmic beeping]
[breathing softly]
[gasps] Agnes.
[Maxine sighs] “Melior de cinere surgo.”
[sighs]
Rise from the ashes in a better state than before.
Thanks for picking me up.
Someone was worried about my humanity.
[Maxine] What I felt in there, I will never feel again.
And what is that?
Powerless.
You are one tough bitch. [sniffs] Let’s go take Palm Beach.
[Robert] ♪ I’m comin’ home, baby, now
I’m comin’ home now, right away ♪
♪ I’m comin’ home, baby, now
I’m sorry now I ever went away ♪
♪ Every night and day
I go and stay ♪
♪ I’m comin’ home, baby ♪
♪ Come on home ♪
♪ Comin’ home, baby, now ♪
♪ You know I’m waitin’ here for you ♪
♪ I’m comin’ home now, real soon ♪
♪ You’ve been gone ♪
♪ Comin’ home, baby, now ♪
♪ You don’t know what I’m gonna do ♪
♪ I’m comin’ home, I know I’m overdue ♪
♪ Since you went away ♪
♪ Expect me any day
Now, real soon ♪
♪ I’m comin’ home ♪
♪ Come on home ♪
♪ I’m comin’ home, baby, now ♪
♪ I’m comin’ home! ♪
♪ I’m comin’ home, baby, now ♪
♪ I’m comin’ home ♪
♪ I’m comin’ home now ♪
♪ I’m coming home ♪
♪ I’m coming home ♪
[music ends]
