Two brothers find themselves lost in a mysterious land and try to find their way home.
Over the Garden Wall was broadcast throughout the week of November 3 to November 7, 2014.
* * *
Over the Garden Wall – Episode 1: The Old Grist Mill | Transcript
[Slow piano music playing]
NARRATOR:
♪ Led through the mist ♪
♪ By the milk light of moon ♪
♪ All that was lost ♪
♪ is revealed ♪
[wind blowing]
♪ Our longbygone burdens ♪
♪ mere echoes of the spring ♪
♪ But where have we come ♪
♪ and where shall we end? ♪
♪ If dreams can’t come true ♪
♪ then why not pretend? ♪
♪ How the gentle wind ♪
♪ beckons through the leaves ♪
♪ as autumn ♪
♪ colors fall ♪
NARRATOR: Somewhere lost in the clouded annals of history lies a place that few have seen, a mysterious place called The Unknown, where long-forgotten stories are revealed to those who travel through the wood.
BOY: Antelope, Guggenheim, Albert, Salami, Giggly, Jumpy, Tom, Thomas, Tambourine, Leg Face McCullen, Artichoke, Penguin, Pete, Steve, but I think the very worst name for this frog is…
Wait. Wait a second.
Uh, Greg.
[Thunder rumbles]
[Hoots]
[Animals chittering]
Where are we?
In the woods.
I mean, what are we doing out here?
We’re walking home.
Greg, I think we’re lost.
We sh… we should have left a trail or something.
I can leave a trail of candy from my pants.
[Sighs]
No. Though I am lost, my wounded heart resides back home in pieces, strewn about the graveyard of my lost love, for only…
[thumping]
Ohh! Do you hear that?
GREG: Yeah.
Do you think it’s some kind of deranged lunatic with an ax, waiting out there in the darkness for innocent victims?
Greg. Greg!
[Whimpers]
Greg, you’re gonna get us into trouble again.
[Gasps]
[Humming]
We should ask him for help.
No, we should not ask him for help.
But…
Shh!
You shush.
You shush.
Shh.
Mmmoooh.
[Humming continues]
Shoot. You think we should have asked him for help?
WOMAN: Maybe I can help you.
I mean, you guys are lost, right?
Ohh!
What in the world is going on?
Well, you’re slapping yourself, and I’m answering your question, and…
No, Greg. A bird’s brain isn’t big enough for cognizant speech.
Hey, what was that?
I mean, I’m just saying you’re… you’re weird… like, not normal.
I-I mean… oh, my gosh.
Stop talking to it, Wirt.
“It”?
Uh… uh…
MAN: What are you doing here?!
Explain yourselves!
And I’ll see you guys later. Bye.
WIRT: Calm… calm down, mister.
Wh-whatever you do here is your business.
We just want to get home with all of our legs and arms attached.
These woods are no place for children.
Don’t you know the beast is afoot here?
The beast? W-w-w-we don’t know anything about that.
W-we’re just two lost kids trying to get home.
Well, welcome to The Unknown, boys.
You’re more lost than you realize.
I found this homestead abandoned and repurposed its mill for m-m-my needs.
You and your brother should be safe here while I work.
Candy trail, candy trail, candy trail.
What… what is your work, exactly?
Everyone has a torch to burn, and this here’s mine.
I grind the horrid edelwood trees into oil to keep this lantern lit.
This is my lot in life.
This is my burden.
This guy sounds loony.
Maybe we should make a break for it if we can, but he must know the woods really well, so we may need to knock him out first, except that may turn out really badly, huh?
Yeah, bad… bad plan.
Forget it. Bad plan.
OK.
What are you boys whispering about?
We’re talking about running away out of here.
Shh! Shh!
Shh! Shh!
[Groans] Leave if you wish, But remember, the beast haunts these woods, ever singing his mournful melody in search of lost souls such as yourselves!
To help us?
MAN: No, not to help you.
I have work to do in the mill.
When I am finished, I will do what I can to guide you if you are still here when I return.
Huh. I guess we could just leave, but I don’t know.
Greg.
What?
Do you think there really is a beast out there, or is… is that guy just messing with us?
Uh-huh.
I mean, he could have done away with us by now if that was his plan, and he lit that fire.
That’s pretty nice.
Yeah!
I guess it’s possible there’s a beast since there was a talking bird, but…
GREG: Yeah!
[Sighs] I don’t know.
Sometimes, I feel like I’m just like a boat upon a winding river, twisting towards an endless black sea…
[Greg grunts]
Further and further, drifting away from where I want to be, who I want to be.
Oh. I didn’t know that.
Did you know that if you soak a raisin in grape juice, it turns into a grape?
It’s a rock fact!
Ugh. You’re not helping at all.
Why don’t you go play with your frog or something?
Aw, beans!
Where is that frog o’ mine?
Hold on there, second brother o’ mine.
I’ll be back soon for your plan.
[Humming]
Kitty! Kitty!
Now where did that frog named Kitty go?
Whoop!
I tripped on my own candy trail!
[Low growling]
Huh?
[Kitty croaks]
That frog’s giving me the runaround.
[Grunting]
[Man humming]
Kitty!
[Humming continues]
Gross.
[Kitty croaks]
Kitty?
[Low growling]
Hmm. Is that… whoop!
Oh, there you are!
[Ribbit]
[Growling continues]
Wirt?
[Growling, footsteps]
Kitty?
You have beautiful eyes.
[Snarls]
Yecch.
[Roar]
Greg?
Uh…
[crash] [Rapid footsteps]
What’s happening?!
Where’s your brother?!
Uh-uh-uh.
Holy moly. Hot dog!
[Growling]
It’s the beast!
Stay back, boys!
This creature which is known as… huh?
Ohh.
[Growling]
Greg, why did you do that?!
That was your plan, remember?
Knock him out!
No! Bad plan!
I told you to forget that plan!
Aah!
GREG: Spank! Spank!
Spank!
[Roars]
Run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run!
[Growls]
Candy camouflage!
Run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run.
[Roars]
Greg!
This is amazing, huh?!
[Growling]
Am I supposed to throw something?
[Roars]
Oh, yeah! Ha ha!
He’s eating your candy.
I wonder if he ate my whole candy trail that led to this mill.
Ugh! Greg, you led the beast right to us with your candy!
[Rumbling]
[Growling]
[Creaking]
[Roars]
[Both groan]
Hey, give me the ax.
You’re too little to have it anyway.
Aah! We got to… we got to get out of here!
[Growls]
[Roars]
Aah! Uh, Greg, give him the rest of your candy!
[Growling]
Oops.
[Growls]
Hey, Wirt, look!
Greg?
Wirt, he spit up that turtle, and now he’s my new best friend!
Ohh! Ohh.
[Panting]
Hey. Where are you going?
Ain’t that just the way?
MAN: The mill is destroyed.
The oil all gone!
WIRT: But… but… but look.
We… we got the beast problem solved.
That dog?!
That is not the beast!
The beast cannot be mollified like some farmer’s pet!
He stalks like the night.
He sings like the four winds.
He is the death of hope.
He steals their children, and he’ll ruin…
[muttering]
You’re always messing up, Greg.
MAN: Boy, you have it backwards!
You are the elder child!
You are responsible for you and your brother’s actions!
I’m… I’m… I’m sorry.
Maybe I can fix it?
I-I can’t fix it.
You must go.
Take your brother north.
Look for a town.
Yeah. Thanks. Come on, Greg.
MAN:
One last thing… beware The Unknown!
Fear the beast and leave these woods if you can.
It is your burden to bear!
Right. Yeah. Got it.
And, little one, you look after that frog.
Give him a proper name.
[Ribbit]
OK.
Wirt, I think I thought of a new name for our frog.
I’m gonna call him Wirt.
That’s gonna be really confusing.
GREG:
No. I’m gonna call you Kitty.
WIRT: What? Maybe I’ll start calling you Candy Pants.
GREG: Whoa! Yeah!
[Ribbit]
GREG: Good one, Wirt.
Thanks.
I’m not talking to you.
I’m talking to Wirt.
[Mysterious piano music plays]
* * *
Over the Garden Wall – Episode 2: Hard Times at the Huskin’ Bee | Transcript
[Wind blowing]
[Train whistle blows]
[Honking]
[Chirping]
[Gobbling]
[Blowing raspberries]
It’s almost morning.
We should’ve found a town by now.
This is the way the woodsman told us to go, right?
Pbbbt! Have you listened to anything I’ve been saying?
For the last couple hours, I’ve been saying…
Pbbt! Pbbt! Pbbft! Pbbt!
Well, that settles it.
I’m gonna walk up 10 feet ahead of you.
FEMALE BIRD: Help!
GREG: Huh?
FEMALE BIRD: I’m stuck!
I hear something!
It’s probably nothing.
Hey, look.
“Pottsfield, 1 mile.”
A town! Let’s go this way.
OK, let’s go this way.
Not… ugh.
Hello? Hello?
Hey, you.
Who? Me?
Yeah, you.
Oh. Hello.
It’s you again. I’m stuck.
Help me out of here, and I’ll owe you a favor.
Whoa! I get a wish?
No, no, no. Not a wish.
I’m not magical.
I’ll just do you a good turn.
Can you turn me into a tiger?
Um, no.
I just said I’m not magical.
It doesn’t have to be a magical tiger.
Greg, stop talking to a bush.
OK.
Huh?
Thanks. I owe you a favor.
So, um, you two are lost kids with no purpose in life, right?
Uh-huh.
How about I bring you to Adelaide of the Pasture, the Good Woman of the Woods?
She could help you get home.
Oh.
N-no, no. No, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Magic talking birds leading us to fairy godmothers in the mysterious…
I’m going to Pottsfield.
Yeah, we’re going to Pottsfield.
Come on.
What about the favor?
I’ll think of my wish later.
BIRD: Ugh.
So let’s small-talk.
My name’s Greg. What’s yours?
Beatrice.
My brother’s name is Wirt.
Who cares?
And my frog’s name’s Wirt Jr., but that may change.
OK. That’s great.
How about you and I ditch your brother?
Mmm. Maybe later.
So is it nice being a bird?
Nope.
Oh.
Do you like waffles?
No, waffles make me sick.
I eat m-maggots.
Aah!
What?
How can you not eat waffles?!
[Squish!] Aah!
What?!
I stepped on a pumpkin!
WIRT: Aha!
Civilization, see?
Now… huh? What the…
[grunting]
All right. Let’s rejoin society.
Hello? Hello?
Hmm. See anybody?
No.
Oh, I see you. Yeah, I see you, too, Greg.
Hey, not to be obnoxious, but an abandoned ghost town doesn’t seem like it’s gonna be that useful getting you guys home.
Ahem. There’s got to be somebody… somewhere.
Excuse me? Anyone here?
Hello?
Oh. Sorry.
Uh, I’m looking for a phone.
Um, I’m sorry.
Heh heh.
BEATRICE: Did you find anything?
No. Where’s Greg?
Do you hear that?
Huh?
VOICES: ♪ Let spirits meet ♪
♪ Around the barn
of Pottsfield town ♪
Hmm?
Huh?
♪ Oh, Heidi, pour
more golden mead ♪
♪ Yon is the Maypole dance ♪
♪ A ribbon to wind my soul ♪
♪ And to bind her to the dance ♪
What the…
Oh, pardon me there.
Say, you folks ought to don your vegetables and celebrate the harvest with us.
Uh… oh! You’re wearing costumes.
Well, sure. Pumpkins can’t move on their own, can they?
Ha. No. Yeah, no.
Good thing I didn’t take this off.
You guys find this place as creepy as I do, right?
So it’s some kind of weird cult where they wear vegetable costumes and dance around a big thing.
They seem nice enough.
OK, you’re in denial.
That’s fine, but I’m just saying something feels off about this place.
[Creak]
Well, maybe I can find someone here who will give us a ride home.
Greg, you stay out of trouble.
Beatrice, thank you, but you can leave.
I can’t leave.
I’m honor-bound to help you since you guys helped me.
That’s the bluebird rules.
Uh, okay.
Beatrice, would you care for this dance?
No, thanks.
No, thanks, no, thanks.
I said no, thank you.
Say, aren’t you a little too early?
What do you mean?
I mean, it doesn’t seem like you’re ready to join us just yet.
Join you?
Yeah, no, I’m just passing through.
Folks don’t tend to “pass through” Pottsfield.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah. It’s nice here.
Um, I’m really just looking tto leave here as fast as possible.
Eh, what, what?
Leave Pottsfield?
Who wants to leave Pottsfield?!
OTHERS: Leave Pottsfield? What?
Oh, are we leaving already?
Let’s leave immediately.
[Raspy breathing, crowd muttering] I’m just trying to get home.
They’re not supposed to be here.
Maybe he’s here to steal our crops.
To ruin our party.
Or take off our pumpkin shoes!
Uh, no, I, uh…
[deep voice]
Heh heh. Now, hold on, everybody.
Heh. Let’s not jump to any conclusions.
Whoa.
Enoch, what shall we do with them?
I-I’m done.
Now, let’s see here, boys.
How did you end up in this little town of ours?
Well, we were trying to get home.
We came into town from the woods.
Uh, we saw your farms and your houses and thought, “Hey, here’s a normal place with normal people.”
And we both stepped on pumpkins.
Yeah, a-and then we heard the music from the barn, and, well, uh… h-how about we just leave?
Now let me get this straight… you come to our town, you trample our crops, you interrupt our private engagement, and now you want to leave?
Uh… yes.
You’ll never convict!
You have no proof!
This one’s trying to escape!
Let me go!
I don’t know these clowns!
Children, it saddens me that you don’t wish to stay here with us, particularly because I simply have to punish you for your transgressions.
I told you this place was bad news.
ENOCH: ♪ So by order of ♪
[menacing voice]
The Pottsfield Chamber of Commerce, I find you guilty of trespassing, destruction of property, disturbing the peace, and murder. Murder?
[Normal voice]
Oh, no, not murder, but for those other crimes, I sentence you to… a few hours of manual labor.
Wait. What? Really? That’s it?
MAN: ♪ Among the fields
of straw and stover ♪
♪ Clocked in till
the workday’s over ♪
♪ Time’s a gentle stream,
longer than it seems ♪
♪ Patient is the night ♪
♪ How I long to
see her face now ♪
♪ Her starry, moonlit gaze now ♪
♪ I know she’s never late,
still anxiously I wait ♪
♪ Patient is the night ♪
[grunts] Ha ha!
Just a few hours of manual labor, and we’re almost done.
And then what are you gonna do… just wander around this way and that way through the woods forevermore?
Uh, uh, maybe we’ll just stay here in Pottsfield.
It’s nice here. Heh.
I don’t know. I don’t know.
Why do they even have you digging these holes?
Planting seeds or something.
Maybe they’re gonna bury you out here.
Pfft!
Hey! Buried treasure!
Whoa! Really?
See, Beatrice? What’d you find?
A skeleton!
Aah!
We’re digging our own…
I-I-I was wrong.
I was wrong all along.
I-I don’t know how to get us home.
Use your little feet to pick our locks!
Oh, oh! Now you want my help?
I don’t want your help.
Yes, I want your help!
Beatrice, serio…
MAN: Your time is up!
Aah!
Ohh.
Have the holes been dug?
Uh, yeah.
Splendid!
Well, then…
But no.
No?
Uh…
Psst!
[Metal clinking]
[Muffled] Keep stalling.
Right. Yeah.
Uh, you know, we were digging, and there were too many rocks.
You guys don’t like rocks, right?
I don’t think we do.
No, we don’t like rocks.
I don’t think so.
See? So we were like, “We should get rid of these rocks.”
Well, that’s a good idea.
Right? Yeah.
So we were getting rid of the rocks, and… huh?
Huh? What?
They left me.
So, what happened to the rocks?
Uh, the rocks.
Yeah, they… they were, um, you know… they… they… they got in the way of all the… well, the dirt, you know, and… w-whoa! Ohh!
Welcome back, Larry.
He looks exactly the same.
What in the…
LARRY: Whooooop! Ooh!
[Grunting]
Yeah, Larry! Whoo!
Aah!
Edward, this one’s for you!
They’re all skeletons.
Thanks for digging up the life of the party.
ENOCH: What a wonderful harvest.
And what about you?
You sure you want to leave?
Me? Yes?
Oh, well.
You’ll join us someday.
Uh…
Psst!
Why are you still here?
What do you mean?
You guys left me!
Oh.
Come on.
[Humming]
Oh. Are they chasing us?
No.
No.
I-I thought you guys…
You’re welcome.
Thank you.
I guess we’re even now, huh?
You’re not honor-bound to help us anymore.
I wish, but you weren’t actually in any danger with those weirdoes.
Oh, yeah! Then you still have to help us get home.
I got it! I wish Wirt Jr.
Had fingernails so he could play the guitar better.
[Crickets chirping]
So… yeah, I’ll bring you to Adelaide.
I mean, that’s where I’m going anyway.
GREG:
Why are you going to Adelaide’s?
BEATRICE: I guess, in some ways, I’m trying to get home, too.
WIRT:
That’s vague. What does that mean?
BEATRICE:
I don’t have to tell you anything.
Well, I sure hope Adelaide is more helpful than that woodsman was.
I think his directions were… not very good.
[Mysterious piano music plays]
* * *
Over the Garden Wall – Episode 3: Schooltown Follies | Transcript
[Wind rushing, pastoral music plays]
[Train whistle blows]
[Birds chirping]
♪ Don’t know who she is or ♪
♪ How she is or
when, what, why she is ♪
♪ But as for where she is,
she is where we will go ♪
♪ To Adelaide, to Adelaide,
come on and join the Adelaide Parade ♪
BOTH: No.
♪ Adelaide, to Adelaide,
let’s go to Adelaide’s house ♪
[sour note plays]
I need to fix that last part, but that’s the idea.
So, Beatrice, you sing the high part.
Wirt, you sing the really high part.
WIRT: What? Oh.
GREG: And…
BEATRICE: Nobody is singing anything anymore.
And, Wirt, keep moving.
But I-I have to… ugh.
All right.
But we have to do something fun.
You know, we really don’t.
We can just keep walking silently, you know?
And… ugh.
Wirt, let’s go. Come on.
Sorry, sorry.
But shouldn’t we…
Greg, don’t you want to be more like your brother… just always doing what you’re told…
Huh?
Just a pathetic pushover who relies on others to make all his decisions?
Hey! What? I’m not a pushover.
Hold on, Wirt.
Let me get to my point.
[Scoffs] Fine.
See, Greg?
No willpower whatsoever.
Hrmph!
You need to be more like that.
But that doesn’t really sound that fun.
The world is a miserable place, Greg.
Life isn’t fun.
[Breathes deeply]
Then I’ll do what I need to do, I guess.
Thank you. We’ll just focus on getting you guys to Adelaide’s so I can wash my hands of this whole affair, and if you could pick up the pace a bit, that’d be great, okay?
Okay?
Hey, where’s Greg?
Oh. Uh, wandered off, I guess.
Cheese and crackers!
We need to do our part to make the world a better place!
[Croaks]
[Laughs] Yeah.
[Bell tolling] Huh?
Whoa!
[Midtempo ragtime music plays]
School?!
[Scoffs] Not today.
[Breathing heavily]
Greg!
[Music continues]
Greg!
Greg?
Oh.
Greg?
Excuse me?
[Music stops, wind blows]
Please, take your seat, children.
You’re late.
You know the rules…
“Once the bell has rung, class has begun.”
Oh, sorry, everybody. Sorry.
No, he doesn’t have a brain.
He can’t learn anything.
Let’s go, Wirt. Come on.
[Whistles] Here, boy.
What? Did you say something?
I can’t hear you because I’m too busy doing what I’m told.
What? What are you… [sighs]
No, no. Let’s go.
Oh, no.
See, I’m a pushover, remember?
I have to do what she tells me to do.
Ohh. Wirt, your brother could be in trouble somewhere.
[Knock on window]
[Hums “Hello”]
[Humming] Mnhmnh.
[Croaks]
[Gasps] Haha! Yeah!
[Sighs] Bluebirds have a short life span.
You two are literally killing me every moment I’m forced to spend with you.
Oh.
TEACHER: Young man, I will not stand for such nonsense in my classroom.
I got enough nonsense from that no good, two-timing, lowdown handsome man of mine.
[Dramatic piano plays]
Oh, Jimmy Brown, why did you have to leave me so?
And now, with my father threatening to close the school and that wild gorilla on the loose, why, Jimmy, I just have one thing to say…
[upbeat country western music plays]
♪ “A” is for the apple that he
gave to me ♪
♪ But I found a worm inside ♪
♪ “B” is for beloved that I… ♪
Ouf. That lady’s got some baggage.
[Music stops] What’s that?
Young man, go to the dunce box.
Oh. Sure, okay.
No, no.
Sure.
No, no.
[Humming happily] Aw.
Now, where were we?
[Music resumes] Oh, yes.
♪ “G” is for the gentleman I
thought he was ♪
♪ When he first said Hi ♪
So, my theory is hot dogs are not actually dogs, regardless of what they teach you in school.
But you guys don’t go to school, huh?
I’m gonna stick with you guys.
[Water sloshes] Haha!
Hey, I got an idea.
Let’s play “two old cat.”
Do you guys know how to play “two old cat”?
It’s fun. I’ll show you.
Here we go.
Here’s one old cat.
[Meows]
[Meows weakly] You found another one!
Wait. No.
I think that cat is too old.
Rowr.
Sorry, kitty.
We’ll have to find another old cat.
Hey, Jeffrey, I think there’s one behind you!
[Raspy breathing]
[Roars]
Gorilla! Run!
[Growls quizzically]
♪ And “y”, yes, why is the ♪
♪ Question that’s on my mind ♪
♪ Oh, why? ♪
Hey, dunce. This is dreadful!
Good. I’m glad you feel that way.
[Groans]
[Bell tolling]
♪ I remember like… ♪ Huh?
[Gasps] Gorilla!
[Babbling]
Mealtime already?
Well, come along, children.
[Hot jazz plays]
[Grunts]
[All panting]
[Roars]
[Grunting]
[Spits]
Huh?
Aah!
Mmhmm.
[Slow jazzy piano plays]
We don’t want to be late for mealtime.
My father will be visiting today, and we’ll need to be on our best behavior.
[Hot jazz plays] Quick! In here!
[Panting] [Music fades out]
[Dramatic piano plays]
Oh, boy! Mealtime!
This is way better than being chased by a gorilla.
[Sniffs]
[Munch! Munch! Munch!]
[Groans]
Aw, what’s the matter?
Mm. Kind of bland.
[Snorts] [Sighs]
Hey, nobody ordered you to eat yet.
Yeah, but…
Mmm.
Hmm.
[Hums quizzically] Ohh.
Hey! I know what to do!
Here, Miss Langtree.
Play something like this.
[Wild discordant music plays]
Oh, like this?
[Pleasant midtempo swing music plays]
Mm… good enough. [Grunts]
♪ Oh, potatoes and molasses ♪
♪ If you want some,
oh, just ask us ♪
♪ They’re warm and soft like
puppies and socks ♪
♪ Filled with cream
and candy rocks ♪
♪ Oh, potatoes and molasses ♪
♪ They’re so much sweeter
than algebra class ♪
♪ If your stomach is grumblin’ ♪
♪ And your mouth
starts mumblin’ ♪
♪ There’s only
one thing to keep ♪
♪ Your brain from crumblin’ ♪
♪ Oh, potatoes and molasses ♪
♪ If you can’t see ’em,
put on your glasses ♪
♪ They’re shiny and large
like a fisherman’s barge ♪
♪ You know you eat enough when
you start seeing stars ♪
♪ Oh, potatoes and molasses ♪
♪ It’s the only thing
left on your task list ♪
♪ They’re short and stout,
they’ll make everyone shout ♪
♪ For potatoes ♪
♪ And molasses ♪
♪ For potatoes and… ♪
[blam!] That’s enough!
Father!
Is this what I’ve been paying for?!
Hey, we just wanted to have a little fun.
I didn’t invest in this school for fun.
I thought we were trying to do important work here, teaching animals to count and spell.
We are!
Oh, please, Father, don’t close the school.
It won’t happen again.
I should say it won’t.
This…
Pbht!
This…
[meows] And this are all coming with me.
Now send them to bed!
You heard Father.
Off to bed with you.
[Slow wistful jazz plays]
[Sighs]
Mm.
[Sighs]
[Whimpering]
[Sniffles]
I just wanted to have fun, change the world, and make it a better place.
But I just made everything worse.
[Croaks]
Okay, Wirt, I’ll admit it… you seem like a pushover, but you’re not.
Oh?
Deep down in your heart, you’re a stubborn jerk.
When are you gonna give this up?
Maybe never.
Maybe I’ll never give this up.
Hmm. Yeah!
Wirt’s right… never give up!
Come on, Wirt.
Let’s go save the day.
Okay, if you say so.
[Scoffs]
Come on.
[Owl hooting]
So, what’s the plan, Greg?
Plan? Ohh. I don’t know.
Ohh! Who would’ve thought making a primer school for animals was a bad idea?
My life savings, my home… everything I had went into that dear, dear school.
And now I’m forced to sell these instruments just to keep it open.
All the while that loathsome Jimmy Brown is off gallivanting who knows where!
Not to mention that wild gorilla on the loose.
[Sighs]
If only something would go right for a change.
[Snoring]
Okay, I think he’s asleep.
Let’s go steal his stuff.
BOTH: What?
[Pastoral music plays, birds chirping]
[Snoring] [Groans]
[Gasps] The instruments!
They’ve been stolen!
Who would do such a thing?!
[Midtempo march plays] Huh?
[Humming]
[Indistinct chatter]
Here you go.
Oh, here you go, Sonny.
[Music continues]
What is this?
It’s a benefit concert for the school.
Ah, isn’t it grand… all these fine people giving out of the goodness of their hearts?
[Sighs] Not like my Jimmy Brown.
[Dramatic piano plays]
Oh, here we go.
All he ever did was steal my heart away.
Gorilla!
Aah!
[Roars]
[Crowd screaming] Young man, do something!
Uh…
[shouts weakly] Whoa!
[Groans]
[All gasp]
[Grunts loudly]
Finally.
Jimmy?
That’s right, darlin’.
I was the gorilla.
But why did you do it?
Got a job in the circus so’s I could finally buy ya that wedding ring.
But when I got stuck in the dang suit, everybody was too doggone scared to help me out.
Aw, Jimmy.
Oh!
Darlin’.
[All cheer]
[Chittering, grunting]
[Sniffles]
I guess the world really is as sweet as potatoes and molasses.
♪ Oh, potatoes and molasses,
if you want some… ♪
So, want me to tell Greg it’s time to get going?
Nah, let him have his fun.
♪ Filled with cream
and candy and rocks ♪
Hey, Wirt.
Yeah?
Tie your shoe.
Hmm. Oh. Mm. Okay.
♪…algebra class,
if your stomach is grumblin’ ♪
♪ And your mouth… ♪
[mysterious classical piano plays]
* * *
Over the Garden Wall – Episode 4: Songs of the Dark Lantern | Transcript
[Wind rushing, pastoral music playing]
[Train whistle blows]
MAN: Stop! No!
[shouts]
Oh, no! The beast is upon me!
[Duck quacks]
Shh!
WIRT:
Greg, is there a beast out there?
Mmm…
I found a duck.
Do you know how to make eggs from a duck?
I’m hungry.
What about the beast?
DRIVER: The beast is upon me! I didn’t see any beast.
That driver is nuts.
Mmm, nuts.
Whew! Well, that’s good.
Good?! That crazy driver’s taking us way off course!
Really?
Yeah, who knows where we are by now with that guy acting all bananas.
Ooh, banana nut duck bread.
[Lightning strikes]
[Whinnies]
[All shout]
[Ducks squawking]
GREG: Whoaah!
Well, finally some good luck.
Let’s go to this creepy tavern and ask for some directions.
But…
[lightning strikes]
[Sign creaking]
[Neighing, crying]
But it’s creepy.
Why don’t you guys go ask for directions, and I’ll just wait out… no, wait, I-I don’t want to be out here by myself.
How about you guys…
Just go to the tavern!
Okay! But you ask for directions.
BEATRICE: Fine, yeah, I’ll do everything.
GREG: I’m hungry.
[Grunts]
BEATRICE: Go on!
I-it’s stuck.
BEATRICE: Oh.
[Dog sputtering]
WIRT: E-excuse me, there.
Excuse me. Hmm?
[Whistling]
[Downtempo music playing]
You. Wait. Here.
I’ll get some food.
Well, at least it has music.
Well, hey, there, peach pot.
Whatcha doing around… hey, what’s that bird you got there?
It’s a…
I am Beatrice! These two sweet kids and I got a bit lost in the… aah!
[Gasps]
No birds allowed in my tavern!
No birds allowed in your…
It’s a bad omen when a bluebird enters through your door.
It’s bad luck!
Lady, bluebirds are good luck!
We bring joy and happiness to the… aah!
Good luck, bad luck…
I don’t need any of it!
Curse you, lady! Curse you!
You’ll die someday, and I’ll laugh… laugh!
[Laughs]
Ohh!
Forget this. I’m out of here.
Wirt, you get directions.
W-wait, no. I-I don’t want to…
Just do it!
Who are you two anyway, bringing bad luck to my tavern?
I’m Wirt, and this is Gregory.
[Horse snorts]
And that’s a horse!
That’s great, but who are you?
I’m… Wirt.
I’m… I’m just aa guy, I-I guess.
Um, w-what do you mean?
Well, he’s the butcher…
I’m the butcher.
The baker…
Yeah!
The midwife…
[coughs] The master and apprentice… the tailor.
[Moaning]
And I’m the tavern keeper.
Who are you?!
I’m hungry!
I-I-I don’t know.
I don’t really like labels.
I’m just sort of, like, myself, you know?
Maybe he’s simple.
No, I-I’m just [sighs] I’m just lost.
See, w-we’re trying to get to…
MAN: I’m the highwayman.
Okay, good to know.
Well, so, you see…
♪ I’m the highwayman ♪
♪ I make ends meet ♪
♪ Just like any man ♪
♪ I work with my hands ♪
♪ If you cross my path ♪
[midtempo music playing]
♪ I’ll knock you out ♪
♪ Drag you off the road ♪
♪ Steal your shoes
from off your feet ♪
♪ I’m the highwayman ♪
♪ And I make ends meeeeet ♪
[cheers and applause]
[Sighs]
[Cheers and applause continue in distance]
[Sighs] Hey.
[Crunching]
Are you wearing lipstick?
[Smacks lips, snorting]
MAN: ♪ La la la la ♪
Hmm? Who’s out there?
MAN:
♪ Chop the wood to light the fire ♪
What kind of person goes out chopping trees in the middle of a thunderstorm at night?
MAN: ♪ Light that fiery fire ♪
What kind of a person talks to a horse?
[Neighs, laughs]
Oohah.
[Both grunting]
[Laughing]
Hmm.
[Sighs]
[Laughing]
Excuse me?
Huh?
I was wondering if you knew the way… uh, I mean, I-I’m… her name is Adelaide, and…
Oh, it’s a girl you’re after, eh?
No! I-I mean, yes, but…
[laughs]
Oh, you’re not the witless, simpleminded fool everybody takes you for.
Everyone thinks I’m…
You’re the young lover.
What? Young lover? No, uh…
If you really want to get with this Adelaide gal…
I-I don’t. I-I mean, I-I…
Well, here’s what you do.
[Midtempo music playing]
♪ Write a loving letter, boy ♪
♪ That swoops
and sweeps and curls ♪
♪ Calligrapher’s just the thing
♪ To help you win your girl ♪
♪ Then you’ll need
to dress up smart ♪
♪ The tailor’s here by chance ♪
♪ He’ll stitch your trousers,
hole your belt ♪
♪ In fine couture of France ♪
♪ Your shoes, my goodness,
how they’re worn ♪
♪ But you’re too young to know ♪
♪ Nothing courts
a woman’s scorn ♪
♪ More than scuffs on the toe ♪
♪ The cobbler can
attend to that ♪
♪ Meanwhile,
you must have cake ♪
♪ The baker and patissier
need work for goodness sake ♪
♪ High, dee, diddly,
umdedumdeday ♪
♪ What a merry time we’ll have
upon your wedding day ♪
What?
♪ High, dee, diddly, umdedumdeday ♪
♪ There’s work for all when
little boys get married ♪
[laughter]
No, no, no, no. Y-you guys, I-I-I’m not getting married.
I’m just trying to find…
♪ That pointy cone
upon your head ♪
Oh, no, please.
♪ You can’t be wearing that ♪
[midtempo music continues in distance]
[Thunder rumbling]
Mm. [Sighs] If I have to be outside, then those jokers do, too.
Oh, hey, Beatrice!
Do you want some food, too?
No. How’s Wirt doing getting directions?
Mm, pretty good.
ALL:
♪ High, dee, diddly, umdedumdeday ♪
♪ What a merry time we’ll have
upon your wedding day ♪
[sighs]
♪ High, dee, diddly ♪
What about that woodsman?
I bet he knows these woods better than anybody, huh?
[Sighs]
All right, horse, good riddance!
[Neighs, laughs]
[All cheering]
MEN: Lover! Lover!
No, y-you guys, Adelaide isn’t… I’m just…
Young lover, sing us your love song!
Love song?
Yeah, lover!
Sing us your love song!
No, I-I-I don’t have a…
[All chanting]
Sing, lover, sing!
No. ALL: Sing, lover, sing!
Midwife, no. Aah! Ohh!
ALL: Sing, lover, sing!
Sing, lover, sing!
Sing, lover, sing!
Sing, boy, sing!
[Vocalizing nervously]
♪ My name is Wirt ♪
♪ And his name is Greg ♪
♪ We’re related ’cause
my mom remarried ♪
♪ And then gave birth to
him with my stepdad ♪
[midtempo music playing]
[Sighs]
♪ We’re not from around here ♪
♪ Can you all give me ♪
♪ Some directions today? ♪
♪ So we can be on our ♪
[breathing heavily] ♪ Waaay ♪
This ain’t no love song.
[Sniffling] It’s a metaphor.
[Crying]
Keep it together, tailor.
Hey!
Uh, yes?
I know what you are!
You’re a pilgrim!
What?
What, like the… the guys who eat turkey and cranberry sauce?
No, you’re a pilgrim!
A pilgrim?
You’re a traveler on a sacred journey.
You’re the master of your own destiny.
The hero of your own story!
A pilgrim.
Tell us your feats, pilgrim!
What other challenges have you overcome?
Regale us with your travels, pilgrim!
One time, Wirt fell on a gorilla.
[All cheering]
And helped me find this frog.
[All cheering]
More! Tell us more!
Tell us more!
Let the cat out of the bag!
We want to hear it!
And, oh, uh, I met this helpful woodsman who told us which direction to go to avoid the beast.
[All gasp] The beast!
MAN: The beast.
MAN ♪2: Oh, goodness.
Oh, you guys have heard of the beast, too?
We all know the beast, pilgrim.
♪ He lurks out there
in The Unknown ♪
♪ Seeking those who
are far from home ♪
♪ Hoping never
to let you return ♪
[Men vocalizing]
♪ Oohooh, better beware ♪
♪ Oohooh, the beast
is out there ♪
♪ Oohooh, better be wise
and don’t believe his lies ♪
♪ For once your will
begins to spoil ♪
♪ He’ll turn you
to a tree of oil ♪
♪ And use you in his
lantern for to burn ♪
[Men vocalizing]
[Blows]
Wait, wait, wait! Lantern?
The woodsman was the guy with the weird lantern, not the beast.
Pilgrim, he who carries the dark lantern must be the beast.
What?
No, the woodsman’s a good guy.
He warned us of the beast and told us which direction to go to avoid him.
And now you’re more lost than ever, huh?
Yeah, but… oh, yeah, hey, can you give us some directions?
Our friend Beatrice is trying to take us to.
Adelaide of the pasture, the good woman of the woods.
She can help us get home.
You don’t need directions, pilgrim.
You follow that compass inside your heart.
Uh… no, I think we need directions.
BEATRICE: Aah!
[Gasps] Beatrice!
Go save your friend and get yourself home!
[All cheering, shouting]
MAN: Pilgrim!
MAN ♪2: You got it!
Uh… okay.
MAN: Never say die, never say die!
[All cheering]
Oh, boy, I guess I’m really doing this.
Horse, I’m just gonna pretend like I can ride you, all right?
[Grunts]
[Neighing]
Beatrice?!
[Creature howling in distance] Beatrice?
[Wind whistling]
Another one of those trees.
MAN: Halt!
[gasps] It’s you!
Hey, Mr. Woodsman!
I told you to leave these woods!
[Gasps] Beatrice!
You’re turning her into an edelwood tree!
[Gasps]
You were the beast all along!
[Blows]
Huh?!
[Whinnying]
Whoa! Huh?!
What is this?
Greg, get Beatrice!
[Wirt grunting] What are you doing?!
Boys, the beast is upon you!
Agh!
Oh!
[Gasps]
[Neighing]
[Sighs]
Beatrice, you all right?
Yeah, I just… I saw a weird shadow and then stupidly flew into a tree and got knocked out.
Oh, well, we’re all right now.
Wirt was amazing!
He sang a song, rode a horse, and saved you from the axe guy!
He’s the pilgrim!
That’s all well and good, but you were supposed to get directions.
I did. We just got directions from Fred before you woke up.
Who?
Oh, uh, Beatrice, meet Fred the Horse.
Nice to horse your acquaintance.
You can talk?!
[Neighs, laughs]
BEAST: It seems you’re running out of oil, woodsman.
Why not let me take the lantern for awhile?
Begone, beast! I’ve fought you for the lantern before, and I’ll fight you again!
No need for violence, woodsman, but be sure to keep it lit, or your daughter’s flame will go out… forever.
Now, what direction did those children go?
You leave those children be!
[Laughing evilly]
Beast!
♪ La la la la ♪
Beast!
BEAST: ♪ La la la la
Chop the wood to light the fire ♪
[mysterious classical piano music playing]
* * *
Over the Garden Wall – Episode 5: Mad Love | Transcript
[Wind rushing, pastoral music plays]
[Distant train whistle blows]
[Bird cries]
Yes, tea! That’s my trade!
Quincy Endicott’s health tea.
Your tea sounds good.
Ugh. Never touch the stuff myself.
Bleh. Me either.
Ha ha! Yes!
It’s all for the money!
Yes, the money takes my mind off my troubles… the deep soul-crushing loneliness.
[Shivers]
Yes, the more money I make, the bigger my mansion gets, the more lost I feel.
[Sobs]
Why, this house is so big, I sometimes don’t even know where or who I am!
[Laughs]
Yeah, well, I’m glad your nephews here were able to pay a visit.
Yeah, yeah!-
Yes, what a… what a pleasure it is to have company… a perfect pleasure.
A perfect pleasure, lads!
A per… yes, yes. Yeah, yeah.
Ha ha! Yeah! Ha ha!
♪ Perfect pleasure, heather… ♪
Um, Beatrice, w-why are you pretending I’m this guy’s nephew?
We need money.
You’re scamming him?
I was thinking more like flatout stealing from him.
What? No way.
Why not?
We already stole a horse.
Hey, guys.
No, we didn’t.
Fred’s a talking horse.
He can do whatever he wants.
I want to steal.
[Gasps]
What?! You guys are bonkers.
If we’re going to Adelaide’s, we need two cents.
Mmhmm.
Well, you guys do what you… two cents? Only two cents?
Yeah, we need two pennies to take the ferry to Adelaide’s pasture.
ENDICOTT: Ha ha! Come, everyone!
Let us retire to the parlor and enjoy my unnecessary excess of wealth and luxury.
[Laughs]
Well, maybe he just has some loose change somewhere he wouldn’t mind us taking.
Mmhmm, mmhmm, mmhmm.
Hmm.
[Classical music plays]
Behold, nephew, the majesty of wealth!
BOTH: Ooh!
[Gasps] What was that?!
Uh…
What’s wrong, Unkie Endicott?
Your forehead is all sweaty.
M-my nerves. My… my… my ner…
[chuckles]
My nerves are a bust these days.
How come?
[Gasps] Uh, yes, yes.
Maybe it would be… be good to… to talk to someone.
Well, y… [clears throat] Actually, it all began one day when I was exploring my exceedingly large and labyrinthine manor here.
I happened upon a section of the house I didn’t even recall building.
[Laughs] Isn’t that funny?
Must’ve been the old wing.
But it was lit in a rather sort of eer… eerie… eerie light.
And I pressed on, and then I-I saw the painting of the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and that’s when things took a rather strange turn.
From that day on, I was obsessed with the woman in the portrait.
She con… consumed my every thought.
I’d fallen in love… ha ha… with a ghost.
[Both gasp]
Ohhhhhhhhh.
It’s too big. Get a grip.
Oh, I must sound crazy, mustn’t I?
[Chuckles]
Perhaps it’s time for you all to leave my treasurefilled home.
BOTH: No!
Yeah, Unkie!
I want to see the ghost!
Ohh, how I long to see her just once again, as well, yes.
To the painting!
Yes. Yes. [Laughs] Ooh, boy! Ghost hunt!
Fred, go with them.
Buy me some time.
While I’m at it, I’ll steal other stuff, too.
[Clock ticking, bell tolling]
[Glass shatters, rustling]
WIRT: We’re supposed to just be looking for loose change.
That’s what I’m… [gasps]
Aah!
Oops. That’s what I’m doing.
Well, let’s try not to break any more… aah, gah!
Oh, hey. Hey, you didn’t check the armoire.
[Tapping] [Both gasp]
Endicott’s back. Hide!
Is that the portrait?
No.
Is that the portrait?
No.
Look, w-w-why don’t I-I just tell you when we reach the portrait.
Okay, what’s the matter, Unkie?
You seem tense.
You know me well, nephew.
Yes, the truth is I’m frightened.
Of a ghost?
Ghosts are just floaty things.
Oh, no, no, not afraid of the ghost.
I mean I’m afraid what… what… what if there is no ghost?
What if I’m on the… on the… on the… on the brink of… hmm… madness.
Maybe the doctors were right.
Come along, boys!
Back to the parlor.
The parlor?
What would anyone go the parlor for?
There’s nobody in the parlor… certainly nobody after your money.
Yeah, no giving up now, old man.
It’s gotta be a ghost!
But hhow can you be so certain?
‘Cause I really, really want to see a ghost… really bad.
Oh.
Whew.
Okay, I think they’re gone.
Beatrice? You there?
Bah! Yes, smart guy.
Start searching for change.
Uh, I can’t see anything in here.
[Rustling]
Well, I-I don’t think these coats have pockets.
Check the lining.
Maybe somebody sewed money into the fabric.
Nope. Do people even do that?
I’ve done it on my clothes.
You wear clothes?
Like a little bird vest or something?
[Laughs] Or little bows?
When I was a human, fool.
You used to be human?
Did I know that?
I-I don’t think I knew that.
Jiminy Cricket!
Let’s just find some coins, all right?
Open the door.
It’s stuck.
Well, guess we have to spend some quality time together.
Help!
The greenhouse.
[Sniffs]
This is where I grow my camellia for testing new teas.
Perhaps we should savor the… the quiet tranquility of this… this place.
[Soothing music plays, water running]
[Both sigh deeply]
[Tapping]
[Screeches]
Aah! Aah! Ghost!
Aaaaaaaahh!
Aah! Aah! I can’t do it!
Uncle Endicott, it’s just a funny chicken.
Yes, oone of my prizewinning roasting peacocks.
Yes, with all this love in my brain, I, uh, forgot to feed them.
It’s almost as though I’ve lost my mind.
We can look for that after we find our ghost.
Heaveho!
[Laughing] Yes, yes.
Heaveho.
Into the abyss… never to return.
[Gasps] Um, anyone want to go back to the parlor?
Hey. Are you still there?
Yes, Wirt. I’m still here.
So, how did you become a bluebird?
[Sighs] Hey, what’s that?
Don’t change the subject.
Hmm.
[Wind blows]
There’s a breeze coming out of here.
Oh, yeah. Whoa!
What?!
A secret entrance!
So, about your dark secret.
Hey, how about you tell me your dark secrets instead, huh?
My secrets are too secret.
Hey, look. Light.
Whoa. Now who’s avoiding the question?
You.
Fine.
I threw a rock at a bluebird, and it cursed me and my family, and now we’re all bluebirds.
Happy? Now you go.
Whoa. Y-your whole family?
Yeah.
Is that why you’re going to Adelaide… to fix things?
That was the plan, but…
[sighs]
Yeah, that was the plan.
It’ll all work out.
All I know is I am never going back till I can make them human again.
I’d do pretty much anything.
[Sighs]
All right. My turn, huh? Okay.
Well, it’s weird to admit it, but, well, I-I have this crush on this girl.
Mmhmm.
That’s all.
That’s all?
And I think about her a lot, and I play clarinet.
Wirt! You got to be kidding me.
And I secretly whisper poetry to myself in my room at night.
Wirt, that stuff’s not weird.
Those are just… [sighs] Well, the poetry thing is weird.
But those are just character traits.
You played clarinet?
Sort of.
What else do you do?
I don’t know. Uh… hey.
Does this room look different to you?
Uh, how so?
It’s like Frenchrococo style.
That doesn’t really seem in line with Endicott’s Georgian sensibilities.
How… what? Who on earth am I talking to right now?
Should I not know that sort of stuff?
Endicott probably just built it without thinking, right?
Or… whoa. Yeah.
W-what if the ghost he was talking about was actually…
[whimpering]
This is the room where… the room where I first saw her.
Whoa! Just a bedroom?
Just a bedroom, my nephew?
This is the chamber of mine own true love, and here she stands, hovering above us like the blinding sun.
Hmm. No ghost?
No ghost?
Then I am… mad.
Don’t be mad.
Hey. What’s this suspicious mess over here?
It looks like there was a struggle… a violent struggle.
[Plop!] What are you implying, my equine friend?
Nothing, nothing. I’m just…
Endicott is a crazed lunatic who did away with the lady of the house and is now pretending to own the place!
What?! Who do you think you are, making accusa… I see it now.
You’re after my money.
Do you know what I did for this money… tthe things these filthy hands have done to make this money?!
I’ll never steal again, I swear.
I’ll get an honest job.
And what say you, nephew?
Uh, I’m confused.
Well, then…
[ghostly wailing] [Screams] She comes for me!
Wait, Unkie! Face your fears!
[Gasps]
[Sighs dramatically]
[Sighs dramatically]
Mr. Endicott?
Are you all right?
Psst! Ghost.
[Gasps]
What do you want with me, spirit?
Spirit? But you’re the ghost.
My lady, I assure you I am flesh and blood and I…
[breathes deeply]
I welcome you to my home.
Your home?
Good sir, you’re in my home.
Impossible!
Look here. You see?
This is my camellia garden for my tea company.
Margueritte Grey?!
Why, with all due respect, madam, this is my tea garden.
Quincy Endicott?!
Your guys’ mansions are so huge they’re actually connected.
So you… you mean that beautiful ghost was really just…
That dashing specter was really just…
BOTH: My business competitor?
ENDICOTT:
Well, Greg, my boy, I can’t thank you enough for helping me to face my fears.
You’re a… you’re a sweet boy with good sense.
Take this penny and start your fortune.
And here’s one from me, as well.
Hey, nice.
Now we can ride the ferry.
Well, everybody, I think it’s time we head to.
Adelaide of the pasture, the good woman of the woods.
Uh, what about you, Fred?
Are you coming with us?
No, thanks.
I’ve got a real job now as an official tea horse.
Well, then I guess that’s it.
Off you go, the lot of you.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
BOTH: Goodbye.
And don’t forget to buy Endicott brand tea.
Hey, Wirt.
You did good back there.
Yeah?
You got a lot more going for you than I thought.
Huh?
[Discordant accordion plays]
Greg! Our pennies!
Why did you do that?!
‘Cause Uncle Endicott pegged me all wrong…
I’ve got no “cents,” no “cents” at all.
[Croaks]
[Mysterious classical piano plays]
* * *
Over the Garden Wall – Episode 6: Lullaby in Frogland | Transcript
[Wind rushing, pastoral music playing]
[Steam whistle blows]
[Midtempo music plays]
[Frogs croaking]
[Snoring]
[Steam whistle blows] [Pop]
Ha ha! Ha ha!
Yeah! Whoo!
Ha ha! Ha ha!
Ahh. What a nice way to spend our last day… going to Adelaide’s house.
Our journey is finally over.
Pretty soon I’ll be back home.
I won’t have to worry about that woodsman or that beast or whatever, and you won’t have to put up with us anymore.
Bet you’re pretty happy, huh, Beatrice?
Huh? Oh. Yeah. Sure.
You all right? You sound uncharacteristically wistful.
What? Sorry.
Just thinking.
Hmm.
♪ Oh, we’re going
to the pasture ♪
♪ To meet Adelaide ♪
♪ And ask her if she has a way ♪
♪ To send us back
where we came from ♪
♪ I don’t know who she is
or how she is ♪
♪ Or when, what, why she is ♪
♪ But as for where she is ♪
BOTH: ♪ She is
where we will go ♪
♪ To Adelaide, Adelaide ♪
♪ Come on and join
the Adelaide parade ♪
♪ Adelaide, to Adelaide ♪
♪ We’re going
to Adelaide’s house today ♪
[laughs]
Boy.
Finally going home.
[Sighs]
Hey, what’s with Beatrice?
I don’t know.
What’s with George Washington being naked?
[Fanfare plays] What?
All the other frogs are dressed up nice.
[Both croaking]
He’s an outcast, and he’s cold.
[Wind gusts]
Feel these cold feets.
No.
He’s supposed to be cold, Greg.
He’s a frog.
But he’s our frog!
Well, he’s not my frog… or she’s not my frog.
We don’t really know its gender.
[Gasps] Come on, George.
You’re a manly frog, and you need some socks.
[Croaks] [Whistle blows]
Huh? [Crowd murmuring] Uhoh.
It looks like we’re in trouble.
[Gasps]
It’s ’cause the President is nude!
It’s probably ’cause you snuck on without paying.
Oh, yeah.
But that’s because Greg threw all our money away.
Take him, not me!
Aaaah!
[Whistle blowing]
[Flies buzzing]
Sorry!
[Blowing continues]
Tadpoles!
Your babies!
[Tadpoles crying]
[Crying]
[Blowing continues]
Hmm.
Good day, gentle…
[clears throat]
[Deep voice]
Good day, gentlemen.
We… I must be going now to join the band.
Wirt, drum me!
Okay.
Ow! Ow, ow!
Ow! Ow, ow!
Are we good?
Whew! I think so.
Wirt, sometimes you got to face your problems.
Turn yourself in and get kicked off this boat.
I don’t think today’s a good day to get arrested by frogs.
Hmm. Well…
Hey! What’s going on?
Don’t push me!
Oof! Oof! Oof!
[Instruments warming up]
[Grunts]
Okay, everybody. Act natural.
Drum me! Drum me!
I said, “Act natural.”
It is natural! I’m a drum!
[Midtempo music plays]
Wirt, drum me!
Drum me in the face!
Okay! Okay! Shh!
Don’t draw attention to us.
[Frogs croaking]
Whoa!
[Flies buzzing]
Whoa!
No bassoon player.
Uhoh.
[Frogs croaking angrily]
Oh, dog, those frogs really love the bassoon!
[Croaking continues] Huh?
Hmm.
Oh, no! Beatrice, I’m too young to go to frog jail.
Hey, why don’t you play the bassoon?
That’ll get us kicked off this boat for sure.
[Gasps] No, Greg’s right.
You should play it.
Go ahead. You’ll do fine.
You play instruments, right?
Yeah, but a bassoon and clarinet are way different!
I don’t have the embouchure for bassoon.
I mean, the lower and middle ranges have some similarities in terms of…
Wirt, you can do it.
Seriously, nobody wants to hear me play.
I do!
I do!
[Croaks]
Uh…
[croaking continues]
Wirt?
Yeah, yeah. Here we go.
[Bassoon honking and squeaking]
Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
♪ At night when the lake
is a mirror ♪
Huh?
Whoa!
♪ And the moon rides the waves
to the shore ♪
♪ A single soul
sets his voice singing ♪
♪ Content to be
slightly forlorn ♪
♪ A song rises over the lilies ♪
♪ Wahooh, wahooh ♪
♪ Sweeps high
to clear over the reeds ♪
♪ And over the bulrushes swaying ♪
[Greg laughing, beating drum]
♪ To pluck at a pair
of heartstrings ♪
Hey, Beatrice, thanks for supporting my bassooning.
Yeah. You’re actually good.
The best part is we’re still on track to get to Adelaide’s.
Yep. That’s great.
You don’t seem thrilled.
Well, I just…
I don’t want you to…
Never mind. Never mind.
♪ Carries their memory on ♪
[all gasp]
[Gasps] [Whistle blows]
ALL: Shh!
Uh…
♪ Over the treetops
and mountains ♪
♪ Over the blackened ravines ♪
Ohh!
♪ Then softly it falls
by a house near a stream ♪
♪ And over the garden wall ♪
♪ To thee ♪
GREG:
Ahh. I knew you were special.
[Steam whistle blows]
[Frogs croaking]
What are they doing?
Looks like they’re… hibernating in the mud.
So, where’s Adelaide’s house?
Is it close?
It’s… hmm.
We should probably just go tomorrow, I think.
We don’t want to bother her too late, you know?
What are we supposed to do?
Just sit around in the mud with these frogs?
[Gasps]
I call that mud over there!
Ha ha ha! Yeah!
So, then what?
Well, then I went to go talk to Sara…
I mean, like, really talk to her, you know?
Put all my cards on the table, you know?
Yeah?
And then Jason Funderberker comes out of nowhere and whisks her away!
Ugh! Jason Funderberker… that guy.
[Growls] Plus, Greg was around.
He would have embarrassed me even more.
BEATRICE: Well, Wirt, sounds like you’re a real loser back home.
Oh, thanks a lot.
I mean compared to how you are here.
Here you’re like a hero and stuff, right?
Am I?
Well, I don’t know if I’d say, “hero,” but…
Do you think that I could be a hero, too?
Huh?
[Frogs croaking]
[Gasps]
You done good, Mr. President.
You done good.
If I was you, I wouldn’t even want to go home.
Yeah, but I… I can’t stay here forever.
Why not?
Hmm? Why not?
Because… because I…
I can’t just… maybe it is better to stay here.
Great. Then it’s agreed.
We’re not going to Adelaide’s.
Good night, Wirt.
Oh, what?
Oh. Good night, Beatrice.
[Wind blowing]
Beatrice?
Greg, wake up!
Huh?
Beatrice took off!
What?
Come on!
Mmm.
[Breathes deeply]
WIRT: Come on, Greg!
I’m coming.
[Banging] [Coughing]
Close the flue. That fresh air does simply gruesome things to my tender, delicate skin.
Adelaide, we need to talk.
Did you bring me what I asked for?
I found two brothers lost in the woods, but I can’t give them to you, Adelaide.
They need to go home.
Nonsense! I’ll give them a wonderful home here.
That’s what you said, but…
Can’t you see I’m sick and helpless?
[Imitating coughing] Ahchoo!
I’m all alone in the world.
I want a child servant!
Servant? I thought you just wanted some yard work done.
Our arrangement was for you to bring me a child servant, and then I give you the scissors… to snip, snip, snip your family’s wings away to make them human again.
What if I became your servant?
Ha! I need a big, strong child!
You can turn me into a human, can’t you?
Oh, yes! Scissors!
Yeah. Yeah.
So, give me the scissors.
I’ll… I’ll go help my family.
[Gasps] Wirt!
Close the door, or I’ll catch my death of cold!
What’s going on?
You shouldn’t be here.
Adelaide?
Welcome home, children.
Huh?
Huh?
BOTH: Aaah!
Beatrice, whwhat…
I…
But I… I thought we were friends.
Now they’re mine!
And once I fill their heads with wool, they’ll become just like little sheep and follow my every command.
All along, you’ve been leading us to this crazy lady?
I do as he commands, the voice of the night, the beast of eternal darkness.
[Grunting]
What are you doing?!
Ohh!
The night air is poisonous!
Breathe it in, lady.
Wirt, Greg, let’s go!
The deadly air!
Whoa! Jeez! She wasn’t kidding!
It’s fresh! Ohhh!
Huh? [Hinges creak] Wirt? Greg?
[Coughing]
Greg! Wirt!
It wasn’t what it looked like!
I was just… please come back!
Ohh.
Hmm.
Wirt, what about Beatrice?
Hmm. I shouldn’t have trusted anyone.
[Croaks]
Huh?
Benjamin Franklin!
[Croaks]
Hurry it up, Greg.
[Wind blowing]
[Mysterious piano music plays]
* * *
Over the Garden Wall – Episode 7: The Ringing of the Bell | Transcript
[Wind rushing, pastoral music playing]
[Distant train whistle blows]
[Thunder rumbles]
[Birds chirping]
[Thunder rumbles]
[Greg panting]
What are we doing?
We’re walking, Greg.
But where?
A place to wait out this rain.
Oh, but shouldn’t we wait for Beatrice?
[Sighs] I don’t need Beatrice.
I’ll figure this out on my own.
Oh, that’s good.
I’m glad you have a plan.
Hey, Wirt?
What?
So, what’s the plan?
‘Cause you’re not saying any details, so it’s hard for me…
Greg, I do have a plan, and if you don’t trust me, then you don’t have to follow me, okay?
If you want to go look for Beatrice, go ahead.
You can do anything you want.
Anything? That’s a lot of power.
[Crash]
Wirt! Oh, no!
Did I knock down that tree with my powers?
Sorry. Are you okay?
Yeah. That tree just came at me out of nowhere.
Greg, look. Ax marks.
Someone chopped it down.
Indeed. ‘Twas I.
Oh!
Aah! Ohh!
WOODSMAN: Stop! Listen!
The beast knows your presence, ready to claim you as part of his dark forest, but only if you give up.
Keep hearty in both body and spirit, and you shall be safe from him.
Fall ill or lose hope, and your life shall pass into his crooked hands.
Ugh! Children!
Please, heed my warning!
Boys, beware the beast!
Woodsman.
Huh?
We should talk.
Uh! Uh!
Huh!
I think we lost him.
Ha ha! You got him with the old kickeroo!
See? I got it under control.
I don’t need Beatrice.
Now to find someplace to wait out this rain.
GREG: As long as it’s not that old, brokendown…
WIRT: Whoa! Shh!
Ha! It’s perfect! Come on, Greg!
Uh, Wirt…
Ain’t that just the way?
[Frog croaking]
This place isn’t so bad, huh?
Maybe.
♪ Dum dadum dadum dum dum ♪
Get that frog out of your pants.
He can do what he wants.
Hey, what’s in these old baskets?
Whoa!
What?
We’re rich!
What?
Look! It’s full of black turtles!
We’re turtle rich!
Ugh.
Ha ha!
You know, it’s kind of funny, finding a basket of turtles in an abandoned house, huh?
Ha ha! Yeah. Ha ha ha!
Greg, not that kind of funny.
Huh? Oh.
WOMAN:
Auntie? Auntie, I finished sorting…
[gasps]
[Gasps]
Who are you?
We’re burglars!
No, no. No, no.
We’re… We’re not.
We just needed to get out of the rain, and we thought this place was abandoned, so we…
So we came here to burgle your turts.
No. It’s not true.
It is true! Ha ha ha!
Oh, okay. I give up.
Ha! See?
I believe you, but, please…
[coughs]
Hide yourselves at once.
Auntie Whispers is coming soon.
Uh, what?
[Both gasp]
[Footsteps approach]
Hide, quickly!
Welcome home, Auntie.
Lorna, my sweet child.
[Sniffs]
Hmm, has anyone come here today?
Nay, Auntie, not a soul.
Then no one shall be devoured alive tonight?
Nay, I pray not, Mum.
Devoured alive?
You’re a good girl, Lorna, but you deceive me.
I speak the truth, Auntie.
I swear.
Deceive me not, child.
I can smell them.
[Sniffing]
I can smell the children in this house.
What? Children?
I’m, like, in high school.
Yeah? Well, you still stink.
Shh!
You shh.
Tell me where you are hiding them, precious one.
I…
The ringing of the bell commands you.
[Gasps]
[Bell ringing]
Look… [gasps] In the basket.
WHISPERS: You have entered the house of doom, children… your doom.
[Gasps]
Oh. My dear, why, all along, you meant it be the turtles that smell so ripe.
AAAye. That…
That is what I meant.
Mm. [Munching] Then you have no evil secrets to keep?
Nay. I have none.
[Slurp]
Then off to bed go I, and you, Lorna, you shall sort the bones of those who have been eaten here before.
I have finished already.
Then clean this floor until it shines.
The ringing of the bell commands you.
[Gasps]
Yes, Auntie Whispers.
You know I do this for you, child.
Keeping you busy is the only way to keep the evil spirit from driving you to wickedness.
Do not worry, Auntie Whispers.
The work shall keep me busy.
[Coughs]
Good night, my dear, and dowse that fire.
I did not ask you to light it.
[Whispers snoring]
Come out, my turtles.
She sleeps.
Uh! Uh!
You sure?
Aye.
[Coughs]
Uh, are you all right?
You’ve been coughing a lot.
[Coughs] It’s my illness.
It’s the reason Auntie Whispers is so hard on me.
Gosh! That lady is so bad.
You should go see a doctor.
Auntie does not allow visitors here.
She believes outsiders will lead me to become wicked.
Yeah. See? That’s super weird.
I don’t mean to insult your family, but…
Oh, she’s not my real aunt.
Oh, my gosh. See?
Hey, where’d Dr. Cucumber go?
[Dr. Cucumber croaks]
Hey, I’m gonna get you!
So, you got to keep sweeping till you’re done?
Mmhmm. The work never ends.
By the time this task is complete, she will return and order me to a new task, and so it goes.
If I help and we get the work done fast, maybe you can…
Escape? With you?
Yeah.
Can we escape with you, too?
[Dr. Cucumber croaks]
Greg…
Hmm. Yes.
Perhaps this… this time, it could be different.
Here.
[Gasps]
[Gasps]
[Coughs]
Uh, I’ll take that side.
Mm.
Mm, something weird is going on.
Where are you going?
WIRT: ♪ Here we are ♪
LORNA: ♪ Two of us, like ships ♪
WIRT: ♪ Like ships ♪
BOTH: ♪ Upon a winding river ♪
♪And yet ♪
♪And yet ♪
BOTH:
♪ Somehow we found each other ♪
♪ Like strangers, you and I ♪
Hey! You can run, and you can hide!
Paging Dr. Cucumber!
You’re needed in the operating rooooooooom!
[Dr. Cucumber croaks]
Well, looks pretty good.
I think we’re done.
GREG: Aah!
Why have you come here?
Oops!
You shan’t remain alive for long in this house.
GREG: Aah!
I’m warning you, children.
Keep away from my Lorna, or you shall be hastily gobbled up.
We… We don’t want no trouble, lady.
Let’s just talk it out.
I’m Wirt.
Lorna, come here.
Uh… uh…
WHISPERS:
The ringing of the bell comman…
Uh, where…
Did I put the bell on my nightstand?
Follow me.
Noooooooooooo!
WHISPERS:
Come out before it is too late.
Unlock this door.
She will devour you.
What is she talking about?
[Hisses]
BOTH: Aah!
More bones to sort.
BOTH: No!
I told you boys to stay away from her, but now you’ve gone and made her wicked again.
Ho ho! For some reason, I thought that old lady was the people eater, but it was Lorna all along.
It just goes to show you stuff.
Now I have a plan that’ll…
Huh!
Uh!
Ha ha! Your plan was better.
I’m sorry, my turtles,
[panting]
But I must feed!
Uh!
Uh!
Greg!
Let’s try my plan now.
[Wheezing]
Oh…
The ringing of the bell commands you.
[Bell ringing] What the…
Oh. He ate the witch’s magic bell when we…
Fine! Do something.
Oh. I command you to…
The spirit compels me.
GREG:
Transform into a magical tiger.
Oh. The ringing… The ringing of the bell commands you!
Stop making Lorna do bad stuff, spirit…
[roars]
And also go away and don’t come back.
[Roars]
[Zap]
[Thud]
Lorna! Lorna!
Wirt, look!
[Moaning]
[Zap]
Lorna.
Wirt, you saved me.
WHISPERS: Lorna? Lorna?
Oh, my Lorna.
Auntie Whispers!
I thought they’d stolen you away.
No, Auntie. They saved me.
They banished the evil spirit with the power of the bell!
You can have it back after Greg Jr. Goes to the bathroom.
Oh, Lorna…
[sniffs]
That’s wonderful, dear.
Auntie Whispers, what’s wrong?
Well, now that you’re cured, you won’t be needing old Auntie Whispers anymore to look after you.
Oh, Auntie, no.
Oh.
I would never leave you.
You are my family.
Ah? Oh.
Thank you so much, Wirt.
And a bit of advice.
Beware of my sister, Adelaide.
She lives in the pasture.
She must not be trusted.
Perhaps I’ll see you again someday. I hope so.
Smell you later.
GREG: Wow, Wirt!
You saved the day twice today!
Yeah, I guess, but so what?
We’re still not any closer to getting home.
I just don’t know what I’m doing out here anymore.
I don’t know if we’ll ever get back home.
Sure, we will! What can stop us?
You got a plan, remember?
I lied.
Aw, come on. Let’s go, Captain!
Lead the way! You can do it!
[Wirt sighs]
Yes. Yes.
All hope will soon be lost.
We’re lucky the boy had the pluck to best you.
Your play could have cost us both.
Don’t you care about keeping the lantern lit?
Don’t you care about your daughter’s soul?
One cannot trade the souls of children as if they were tokens!
There has to be another way.
No. There is only me.
There is only my way.
There is only the forest, and there is only surrender.
[Mysterious piano music plays]
* * *
Over the Garden Wall – Episode 8: Babes in the Wood | Transcript
[Wind rushing, pastoral music playing]
[Train’s whistle blowing]
[Frogs croaking]
GREG: Home! Home? Home! Home! Home?
Could be around any corner.
MAN:
♪ Tralalala, tralalala ♪
[gasps] Hey, Captain, do you hear that singing?
[Croaks]
Not you, Skipper.
I’m talking to the captain.
[Croaks]
Captain Wirt, do you know who’s singing?
I don’t know much of anything anymore.
Oh. Did you know that dinosaurs had big ears but everyone forgot ’cause dinosaur ears don’t have bones?
No. I… I didn’t know that, Greg.
That’s ’cause it’s not true.
It’s a rock fact!
MAN: ♪ Tralalala ♪
The beast.
It must be the beast out there.
The obsidian cricket of our inevitable twilight singing our requiem.
Hmm. Yeah!
Must be a really fat cricket.
[Thuds] [Gasps]
[Bugle plays]
Look! We’ve reached land!
Feel the dirt!
Ahh. Smell that tree.
We must be almost there.
Greg?
Yes, Wirt?
Can we please stop pretending we’re gonna get home?
Huh?
Can we admit we’re lost for good?
That this fog is deeper than we can ever understand?
That we are but wayward leaves, scattered to the air by an indifferent wind?
Can we just admit we’re never gonna get back home, Greg?
Can we do that?
Wirt, you can do anything if you set your mind to it.
That’s what the old people say.
Well, then let’s do that.
Yes, sir, Captain!
[Bugle plays]
Greg! You need to stop acting ridiculous all the time.
Huh?
Look, do you even know why we got lost in the first place?
It’s ’cause you were goofing around and getting into trouble like you always do.
Really? It was all my fault?
Yeah, so… it’s not my job to get us home, okay? I’m done.
Are you saying I should be the leader?
I don’t care what you do.
But if I’m the leader… what are you gonna be?
I’ll be asleep.
Wow. Well, then I better take a nap, too.
I need to dream up a good way of leading us home.
Thanks for trusting me, Wirt.
Don’t worry.
I won’t let you down.
I’ll be a good leader.
Good night.
[Breathes deeply]
Star, oh, star, up in the sky, guide my dreams with light that shines.
Help me know just what to do to get Wirt home and also me, too.
And if you don’t, I don’t care.
I’ll pull down your underwear.
[Soft music plays]
WOMAN: ♪ Forward, cherubs ♪
♪ Hear the song ♪
♪ A child’s wishes call us on ♪
♪ Descend! ♪
♪ Descend! ♪
Psst! Hey!
[Groans] Huh? Whoa!
♪ The dreams our
winged wind hath made ♪
♪ For only beneath the veil ♪
[gasps]
Whoa.
♪ Of sleep ♪
GREG: Whoooooa! Whoa!
Whoa! Wow!
Hey, Greg!
[Gasps] Nice to see you!
Hey, everybody!
Welcome to Cloud City!
Thank you! Thank you!
My name’s Greg. What are yours?
♪ We’re the Cloud City
Reception Committee ♪
♪ And we are here
to welcome thee ♪
[cheers]
Oh, wow, neat.
♪ And we’re the Cloud City
Auxiliary Reception Committee ♪
♪ And we are also
here to welcome thee ♪
Thank you.
♪ And we’re the hippopotamus,
giraffe, and monkey ♪
♪ And we are committee
number three ♪
Okay. Are there more?
[Scary music plays]
[Thunder rumbles]
Well, that’s enough.
[Cheers]
So, what brings you to Cloud City?
Well, I’m supposed to be a leader, but I don’t know how.
Why don’t you lead our band in a song?
Okay.
[Uptempo music plays]
♪ Everything is nice
and fine all the time ♪
♪ The softest clouds
and rainbow skies ♪
♪ Ain’t gonna lie ♪
♪ We always have the most
spectacular time together ♪
♪ Everyone is sittin’ pretty
on top of the weather ♪
♪ Lasso a cloud and make
the flowers grow ♪
♪ Tie them in a bow to throw
at the end of the show ♪
♪ Our songs are
filled with love ♪
♪ The sweetest love ♪
♪ And we can send them
down to you ♪
♪ With a little shove ♪
♪ So hitch a ride into the sky ♪
♪ And join our band ♪
♪ Bring harps and lutes,
kazoos, trombones, and flutes ♪
♪ Or just your pots and pans ♪
♪ We can write a little jig
out of the mighty blue ♪
♪ And we will be here
just for you ♪
[offkey note plays]
Heehee!
[Notes play]
[Thunder crashes] Ohh!
Oh, nooooo!
The North Wind is loose!
[All screaming]
MAN: ♪ Oh, yeah, the ol’
North Wind starts to howl ♪
♪ Puffs up and furrows
his brow ♪
♪ Now, now,
you better take cover ♪
♪ Lock up those doors ♪
♪ And close the shutters ♪
♪ I say, the ol’ North Wind ♪
♪ Yes, he is ♪
♪ He’s gonna fight ♪
♪ He’s gonna spin ♪
♪ He’s gonna pull back ♪
♪ And blow a little more ♪
♪ Until you can’t tell
what you came here for ♪
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
Fire!
♪ The ol’ North Wind,
yes, indeed ♪
♪ He’s gonna
breathe and breathe ♪
♪ He’s gonna blow ♪
[thunder crashes]
♪ Blow till you can’t
feel no more ♪
Wirt? Greg?
Is anyone out there?
[Thunder crashes] Aah!
[Shuddering]
[Laughing evilly]
[Thunder crashes] [All gasp]
[Wind howling] [Laughing]
Hey, North Wind! Pbht!
[Grumbles]
I don’t like that one bit.
That makes me mad!
[Gasps]
[Grumbling] GREG: Oh, no!
[Crashing, thudding]
[All murmuring]
[Door creaks]
Ha ha!
Hee hee hee hee!
[Cheers]
Huh?
Why, hello, Gregory.
Hello.
I am the queen of the clouds.
Thank you for saving my city.
You’re welcome.
I shall grant you one wish.
What do you wish for most of all?
Well, I’m supposed to be the leader, but I don’t know how to get home.
Do you know?
Of course.
If you wish, I can certainly send you home.
Great! Let’s go get Wirt.
I’m sorry, Gregory, but Wirt cannot go with you.
He is too lost.
[Gasps]
But… anything is possible if you set your mind to it, right?
See how the edelwood grows around him? The beast has claimed him already. Oh, I should have been leading better.
I was goofing off again, like always, and now you’re stuck here.
Isn’t there anything I can do?
I’m sorry, Gregory.
Wirt’s fate lies solely in the beast’s hands now.
Then I know what to wish for.
[Whispering]
[Gasps] Are you sure?
Then it shall be done.
[Ting!]
Hey. Hey, Wirt?
Shh! Trying to sleep.
Okay. You sleep.
I’m sorry I got us lost, Wirt.
Will you take care of Ronald for me?
Okay. I have to go now.
Goodbye, Wirt.
MAN: Yes. Come, Gregory. There is much to be done.
GREG: And then you’ll show us the way home, right?
MAN: Of course. We made a promise, didn’t we? Greg. Greg?
Greg? Greg?! Where did he go?
MAN: ♪ Tralalala ♪
No. No, no, no, no! Greg?!
[Grunting] What the heck?
MAN:
♪ Tralalala, tralalala… ♪
Greg?!
Greg. What did I do?
Greg! Greg!
Aah! Unh!
[Groans]
GREG: [speaking indistinctly]
[Gasps] Huh?
Greg.
Oof! Aah!
[Groaning]
BEATRICE:
Oh! You got him! Pull! Pull! Is he alive? Wirt!
GREG: Wirt! Wirt? Gr… eg?
BEATRICE:
Wirt, are you okay? Wirt! Gr… eg? I-I-I…
Where’s Greg, Wirt?
Beatrice? [Shuddered breathing]
BEATRICE: Wirt. Wirt!
[wind howling]
[Mysterious classical piano music playing]
* * *
Over the Garden Wall – Episode 9: Into the Unknown | Transcript
[Wind rushing, pastoral music playing]
[Distant train whistle blows]
♪ The angels have gone ♪
♪ The songs have gone silent ♪
♪ You’re sinking like a stone ♪
♪ Before the tide ♪
♪ The river runs coold ♪
♪ The fight is over ♪
♪ Still the haunted ruins
of night call your name ♪
[sighs]
Mmhmm.
Oh, yes.
[Wind rushing]
Yes.
Into the unknown.
[Crowd cheering]
[School band playing march]
[Cheering intensifies]
GEWG: Goodbye!
Thank you, Old Lady Daniels.
Goodbye, Gregory, and please don’t call me Old Lady.
Yes, sir, young man.
Hey, Wirt, whatcha doing?
Nothing.
I was helping Old Lady Daniels rake some leaves in exchange for candy.
Greg, it’s Halloween.
Candy is free.
Old Lady Daniels says nothing in this world is free.
Oh, hey, and look!
I also got this rock.
[Deep voice] Hey, Wirt, want to learn some rock facts?
[Normal voice] So, you want to go look for frogs with me like you said you would awhile ago and haven’t done it yet?
Nah. I’m busy.
Is that bee named Sara?
W-what?
Your tape says, “For Sara.”
You gonna give it to Sara the bee?
I-I want to, but I can’t.
Can I see it?
Yeah. It’s just a tape.
Hmm. Yeah. OK.
I’ll give it to her for you.
Oh, Greg! W-wait! No, no!
Oh, look at you.
What are you supposed to be?
It’s an elephant costume.
[Trumpeting]
Pbbt! See my trunk?
Yeah. That’s cute.
I’m an egg.
Yeah. Everybody knows you’re an egg, Rhondi.
Shut it, Kathleen.
Whatever.
So, what are you, Wirt, some kind of gnome?
Uh, I d… I don’t know.
Well, it’s…
See, I was…
I thought I’d just, like…
Hey, what’s this?
That’s Wirt’s tape for Sara.
Ooh! Wirt loves Sara!
You want us to give it to her for you?
It’s for a different Sara, not the one you’re thinking about.
Yeah, Wirt’s talking about mascot Sara, the one he’s been looking at all night.
What?
Ooh! Wirt’s got a crush on Sara.
Ha ha ha!
Well, you better act fast ’cause we heard Jason Funderberker is gonna ask her out at the Halloween party tonight.
Jason Funderberker?
ALL: Yeah.
But I… but, um…
You OK, Wirt?
Yeah. Everything’s… everything’s Jason Funderberker.
What?
What?
Uh, uh, Jason Funderberker.
I-I got to go.
GRWG: Bye!
[Frogs croaking]
Is the dove never to meet the sea for want of the odious mountain?
Hey. So… frog hunt?
Huh?
I keep hearing ribbiting around town, and I think it’s the last frog of the season.
No. I just want to wallow in misery.
Sara and Jason Funderberker.
Ach.
That guy’s got his act together.
He’s the total package.
I can’t compete.
You’re the total package too, Wirt.
I bet she’ll really like your tape.
We never got the tape back!
I can’t let her hear that tape!
Why not?
That tape has got poetry and clarinet on it, Greg.
Poetry and clarinet!
Sara and Jason Funderberker are gonna start dating, and then they’ll hear that tape, and then they’ll just sit and listen to it and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh.
Why don’t you ask Sara out first?
That way…
No, no! Ugh!
Why did you have to take the tape?
My life is crumbling all around me!
OK. I think we should put our frog hunt on hold and go get that tape back.
Guys, where’s the tape?
We put it in Sara’s jacket for you.
Aah!
You better hurry.
She’s changing in the track shack.
Ha ha ha!
Wxcuse me. Oh, no.
WIET: The jacket!
[Both panting]
Hey! Are you trying to spy on Sara?
Uh… no. Run, Greg!
Hey, Sara, be careful, huh?
There’s some real creeps out there tonight.
Thanks, Jimmy.
OFFICWE: Hey, you two robbers, you’re under arrest. Nah, I’m just kidding.
Happy Halloween. Heyl Stop running in the streetsl. Just kidding. Happy Halloween.
WIET: There she goes.
Let’s get her.
Yeah. Let’s get her.
No. W-we’re not gonna get her like that.
What are we doing?
We’re just gonna get the tape back.
Oh, yeah. Let’s go in after her.
Oh, I can’t.
I wasn’t invited to this party.
I’ll go in.
You weren’t invited, either.
Oh.
Yeah, man, there’s lots of batandball games besides baseball… one old cat, two old cat, stoolball, roundball…
Why are you talking to them?
Aah!
Oh. Hey, guys.
I don’t know what he said, but I-it wasn’t true.
Oh, hey, Wirt. How’s it going?
Hi, Wirt.
Oh. Uh, yeah.
Well, see you around, guys.
I used to be really good at ballet, but my mom wanted me to be a wrestler.
Oh, Wirt. You’re here.
Well, I…
I was just asking if you were here.
Oh, wow. Heh.
Oh, hey, we’re gonna go to the graveyard.
Oh. Are you gonna do something there?
Nah. We’re just gonna hang out and drink age-appropriate drinks.
Like juice?
Yeah, whatever.
Age-appropriate stuff that’s not illegal.
Hey, you should come.
Uh, I don’t…
Hey, Sara, are you ready to go?
Hey, Jason Funderberker.
Oh, hey, Wirt.
Let’s go, Sara. Ohh…
You coming, Wirt?
No, no.
You… You go have fun with Jason Funderberker.
OK, but if you want to stop by later or something…
Mm. Bye, Wirt.
Sayonara, Jason Funderberker.
[Gasps] Sara’s jacket!
My jacket. Thanks, Wirt.
Well, see you, hopefully.
Bye. Ohh…
SARA:
You’re limiting the universe to only things humans can understand.
Well, you’re limiting the universe by limiting the possibility of human understanding.
Oh, yeah. Maybe.
Sara?
Yeah?
Do you believe in ghosts?
Why?
‘Cause there’s one right behind you!
Aw, I’m just kidding.
It’s OK, Funderberker.
Ha ha ha!
Stop! You hit me!
Come on.
[Croak]
[Gasps] Wirt, you tricked me!
I didn’t know this was a frog hunt all along.
It never was a…
[gasps] GEWG: A witches’ gathering!
And so then a guy with an axe showed up!
[Laughter]
Ugh. Everybody loves Funderberker.
What do I do?
I’ll pretend to be a dead elephant and distract them while you get the tape.
WIET: Please just stay here.
And so she kept getting closer and closer.
What are you doing?
Jason.
GIEL: Oh, Jason.
[Growls]
Go, Greg. Do it.
OK.
Uh, you can let go of my hand now.
Oh, yeah.
You could hold my hand, Funderberker. I don’t care.
Whooooo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
Hey, isn’t that Wirt’s little brother?
Nooooo.
I’m the headless elephant.
[Trumpeting]
Little guy. Ha ha ha!
Is Wirt here, too?
Over there!
Huh!
There he is.
Wirt, we can see you, man.
Oh, Greg.
Oh. Hey, guys.
Greg! There you are.
Totally wasn’t spying on anybody.
I was just looking for…
[siren wails]
What’s going on here?
Huh?
Is this some kind of witches’ gathering? You’re all under arrest.
Eun!
Hey, hey! I was just kidding. Slow down, kids.
You’re gonna trip or something. Run, run, run! Run, run, run!
Where do we go?
That way!
Greg, why did you say this way?
I thought I heard a frog.
This is private property.
Uh…
Hey, don’t climb up there.
That’s dangerous! Get down here before you hurt yourself!
Huh?
It has my name on it.
Ohh…
Let’s go listen to it.
Ha ha ha!
Noooooooooooo!
Kids, really, get down from that wall. That’s it. That’s the end.
Oh, darn it. No.
I mean come down this way.
Ooh!
Ooh!
Oh, once again, you ruin my life.
Who? Me?
Ugh! You and your stupid dad!
You’re always prodding me, trying to get me to join marching band.
Oh, yeah!
If you join the marching band, you can hang out with Sara more!
That ship has sailed, Greg, thanks to you messing that up, too.
[Croak]
[Gasps]
Hold that thought, Wirt. Hmm.
What are you doing now?
Ha ha! We found our lucky frog.
We got to name him for good luck.
[Croaks]
I don’t want to have anything to do with your or that frog!
OK. I’ll try to think of a name myself.
[Train approaching]
Ugh. I’m leaving.
Hmm?
Huh? [Train whistle blowing] Aah!
♪ There’s an old black train
acomin’♪
♪ Scraping ‘long the iron ♪
♪ You don’t need
no ticket, boy ♪
♪ It’ll take you in its time ♪
[female humming]
Huh? Where… Huh?
Oh. You’re awake.
Here. Wat some dirt.
[Pbbt!]
Uh, Beatrice?
You know my daughter!
Where is she?
I don’t know.
[Croak]
Somebody left you and that frog on the doorstep.
Beatrice.
But have you seen my brother?
No, I’m sorry.
I gotta go!
You’re in no shape to head into that snowstorm, young man.
Here, here. Wat more dirt.
Thanks. Come on, guy.
Let’s go find Greg.
At least wait until the storm dies down a bit.
You’ll be no good to your brother dead.
I was never any good to him alive, either.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
If you see Beatrice again, give her a hug for us.
Yeah.
[Mysterious piano music plays]
* * *
Over the Garden Wall – Episode 10: The Unknown | Transcript
[Wind rushing, pastoral music playing]
[Train’s whistle blows]
[Sighs] Oh! Huh?
Greg?
BEAST: Did you fetch for me the golden comb?
Will that work?
This is a honeycomb. Golden comb of honey.
Hee-Hee-Hee Hee Hee.
Greg! Oh!
[Whimpers] Oh! Greeg!
Huh?
Never mind that, Gregory. You’ve brought me the first two items… a golden comb and a spool of silver thread.
It’s just spider web on a stick.
Now I want the sun.
The sun?
Here. Lower the sun out of the sky and into this china cup.
Uh, well, that sounds impossible.
Anything is possible if you set your mind to it, right? But hurry, the sun will be setting soon, and…
Hey, yeah, that’s it.
♪ Duh dihdunh,
dunhdunh dindunh ♪
♪ Duh dindin dunh ♪
[wind whistling]
See, that old sun’s going right down into this old cup.
You have figured it out, and I thought you might give up.
Give up? I’ll never give up.
[Breathing heavily]
Just got to wait, just got to wait.
BEAST: Yes, just sit there in the cold and wait.
[Wind whistling]
Huh?
Aaaah!
Aah!
Ohh.
What the…
Ohh. Ohh.
WIRT: Beatrice?
[Gasps] Wirt!
Beatrice! What are you doing out here?!
I saw Greg!
What?!
I saw Greg.
He was w-with someone.
This way! Or wait. Um…
Beatrice, you should go home.
I can’t… not yet.
Not until Greg is safe.
Okay.
We should hurry.
I… I think it was that way.
Thank you, Beatrice.
[Music box plays softly]
[Man coughs]
Ohh.
[Sighs] [Gasps]
Here! Edelwood!
You see?
This will give us some oil, won’t it?
Yes, we’ll keep that light of yours shining, won’t we?
Come on. Ohh! Aw! You…
[Beast singing indistinctly in distance]
[Gasps] Oh! Oh!
BEAST: ♪… darkness ♪
♪ There is a light for
the lost and the meek ♪
♪ Sorrow and fear
are easily forgotten ♪
♪ When you submit to
the soil of the earth ♪
Woodsman, I knew you would come. I have something for you.
[Gasps]
Oh! Oh! What have you done?!
Why, I’ve given you another Edelwood.
No!
He will burn nicely in the lantern.
No! I won’t do this!
You’ve been grinding up lost souls for years.
I didn’t know!
I didn’t know this is where the Edelwood trees came from!
And would it have mattered? Would you have just let your daughter’s spirit burn out forever? Feed the lantern.
No.
I suppose after all these years, you just don’t care for her anymore.
Hold your tongue, or I’ll remove it from your mouth!
Do not speak of my daughter.
She would not wish this.
Let’s get you free.
Ahh.
No.
[Gasps]
I only wish to help you, Woodsman.
You need oil, or else your daughter will…
I told you to hold your tongue!
[Laughing]
[Grunting]
[Wind whistling]
WIRT: Greg? Greg!
BEATRICE: I thought it was this way.
A light.
A lantern.
It looks like the Woodsman’s.
BEATRICE: Whoa. What happened here?
[Gasps] Greg! Greg! Are you…
Wirt?
Oh, Greg!
Wirt, I did it.
I beat the beast.
[Coughing]
Aw, geez, the leaves are even growing inside of him.
No. [Spits] I was just eating leaves.
I’m sorry, Wirt.
No, no, Greg.
[Sniffles]
It’s my fault we ended up here.
Everything’s been my fault.
I-I should have been more…
No, I mean my rock facts rock.
BEATRICE AND WIRT: What?
I… I stole it, Wirt.
I stole it from Mrs. Daniel’s garden.
I’m a stealer.
And that’s a rock fact.
What? No, Greg, that doesn’t matter.
It does matter. [Cough] You have to return it for me, okay?
No, you can give it to her yourself.
Come on, we got to get Jason Funderberker home, right?
[Croaks]
Jason Funderberker… the perfect… frog name.
Greg? Greg?!
Let’s get him out of this!
Come on!
Yeah. Yeah.
[Grunting] Come on!
BEATRICE: It’s gonna be fine, Wirt.
[Grunting] [Grunts]
[Beatrice gasps]
Give me my lantern.
Your lantern?
No way. We need this thing.
Yeah, I’m keeping this.
I have to get Greg home.
Your brother is too weak to go home. He will soon become part of my forest. I won’t let that happen!
Well, then, perhaps we better make a deal. Deal?
Ohh.
I can put his spirit in the lantern. As long as the flame stays lit, he will live on inside. Take on the task of lantern bearer… or watch your brother perish. Come here.
[Sighs] Okay.
[Gasps] Wirt!
Wait. That’s dumb.
What?
That’s dumb.
I’m not just gonna wander around in the woods for the rest of my life.
I’m trying to help you.
You’re not trying to help me. You just have some weird obsession with keeping this lantern lit.
It’s almost like your soul is in this lantern.
[Gasps]
[Growling]
[Deep voice]
Are you ready to see true darkness?
[Voice cracking] Are you?
[Clears throat]
[Normal voice] Are you?
[Inhales deeply]
[Begins to exhale]
Don’t! Don’t!
[scoffs]
[Gasps]
WIRT: Here, Woodsman.
I’ve got my own problems to take care of. This one’s yours.
WOODSMAN: [Sighs]
WIRT: My brother and I are going home.
She was never in the lantern, was she, Beast?
Listen, Woodsman. Listen to me.
[Grunting]
[Sighs]
Wirt…
Come with us.
I… I got to go home, too.
Admit to my family it’s my fault they’re bluebirds.
[Clears throat]
What?!
The scissors that’ll make your family human again.
You had them all along!?
I-I used them to escape Adelaide, and then… then…
Yeah, I-I was sort of mad at you.
Oh, you… wonderful mistake of nature!
You see, Woodsman? All who perish here will become trees for the lantern. Cut them down with your ax. Go! Now!
No!
[Growls]
Stop! You’ll never see your daughter again, Woodsman. Are you really ready to go back to that empty house? No! Woodsman!
[blows sharply]
[Growls]
WIRT: Goodbye, Beatrice.
BEATRICE: Goodbye, Wirt.
WOMAN:
♪ One is a bird, two are the trees ♪
♪ Three is the wind
in the leaves ♪
Help. [Sighs]
[Gasps]
Wirt!
♪ Four are the stars ♪
[siren wails in distance]
♪ Five with the moon ♪
Wirt? You OK?
Can you see me, Wirt?
Hmm. Where am I?
The hospital.
Hosp… ital?
Greg! Where’s Greg?!
And then… [gasps] Wirt!
I was telling them about the time we almost got…
[croaks]
[Laughs] Yeah, and you were there, too, Jason Funderberker.
Me?
Not you.
Jason Funderberker, my frog.
[Croaks]
Our frog.
Our frog.
Our frog?
GREG: No, not your frog.
Hey, so… uh… about this…
Umm…
Yeah, so, I don’t have a tape player, so…
Uh, yeah.
So maybe we can listen to this…
You can listen to it at my house.
Yes.
Maybe… maybe we should listen to some other tapes first, though, and sort of work our way to this one.
This one is a little bit… uh, yeah, I mean, y-you can listen to it…
NARRATOR:
And so the story is complete, and everyone is satisfied with the ending. And so on and so forth, and yet, over the garden wall…
NARRATOR: ♪ How the gentle wind
beckons through the leaves ♪
[door opens] Father?
♪ As autumn colors fall ♪
♪ Dancing in a swirl
of golden memories ♪
♪ The loveliest lies of all ♪
[whistling]
[Horse whinnies]
WOMAN: Honey? Eat your dirt.
Mom, stop calling it dirt.
What are you gonna do about it, turn us into bluebirds again?
[Laughs]
Mom…
[laughter]
Now, eat your dirt.
♪ The loveliest lies of all ♪
[mysterious classical piano music playing]
