Landman
Genre: Drama
Created by: Taylor Sheridan, Christian Wallace
Based on: Boomtown by Imperative Entertainment Texas Monthly
Writer: Taylor Sheridan
Stars: Billy Bob Thornton (Tommy Norris), Ali Larter (Angela Norris), Jacob Lofland (Cooper Norris), Michelle Randolph (Ainsley Norris), Paulina Chávez (Ariana Medina), Kayla Wallace (Rebecca Falcone), James Jordan (Dale Bradley), Demi Moore (Cami Miller), Andy GarcÃa (Danny “Gallino” Morrell), Sam Elliott (T. L. Norris), Stefania Spampinato (Bella Morrell)
Premise: Set in the proverbial boomtowns of West-Texas and a modern-day tale of fortune-seeking in the world of oil rigs, the series is an upstairs/downstairs story of roughnecks and wildcat billionaires that are fueling a boom so big it’s reshaping our climate, our economy and our geopolitics.
The series is available for streaming on Paramount+
* * *
Season 2 – Episode 5
Episode title: The Pirate Dinner
Original release date: December 14, 2025
Episode plot: In “The Pirate Dinner,” personal celebrations clash with looming professional disasters for the Landman crew. Ainsley and Angela organize a pirate-themed dinner to welcome T.L. home, while Cooper prepares to ask Ariana’s father for his blessing to propose. Tommy intervenes in Cooper’s independent venture, realizing the deal with Sonrisa is a financial trap. He saves his son from ruin by having M-Tex buy the leases and hiring Cooper for a safer, salaried position.
Meanwhile, M-Tex faces an existential crisis. Following a drill site crash and H2S leak, the team discovers they need $400 million immediately because Monty’s funds are legally inaccessible. While Nate suggests bankruptcy, the only alternative lender is Dan Morrell. Tommy vehemently refuses, revealing Dan is a mafia leader who once murdered a man in front of him. He warns that accepting Dan’s capital risks implicating M-Tex in money laundering.
Despite Tommy’s desperate warnings, Cami refuses to let the company fail on her watch and orders a meeting with Dan. The episode concludes with Cooper passing his relationship “test,” while Tommy attends the pirate dinner, forcing a smile to hide his dread regarding M-Tex’s dangerous future.
* * *
Landman – S02E05 – The Pirate Dinner | Transcript
♪ Soft, gentle music
[country music playing low over radio]
♪♪♪
[Nathan] Tommy.
[Tommy] Morning, Nate.
[Nathan] Tommy, what is your father doing on the porch?
[Tommy] He’s gonna stay with us a while.
[Nathan] How long is a while?
[Tommy] Till he dies.
[Nathan] Tommy…
[Tommy] Don’t get all worried about it. If he makes it a week without me drowning him in that fucking swimming pool, I’ll be shocked.
[Nathan] Tommy, you should really be in Fort Worth, for one.
[Tommy] Well, who’s gonna do what I do here? I mean, who’s gonna fix all the messes, manage the camp and the crews and the contractors and all that shit?
[Nathan] I don’t know. But you can’t be a land man and the president.
[Tommy] Why not?
[Nathan] There’s lots of land men out there. Hire one. Then get him his own house.
[Angela] Morning, Nathan. Morning, baby.
[Tommy] Hey, b… Goddamn. You look like a Mexican wrestler.
[Ainsley] Morning, Daddy.
[Tommy] Hey, sweetie. Are y’all having a little spa day or something?
[Angela] I want to glow for my birthday party with the old folks.
[Tommy] Your birthday’s in February, babe.
[Angela] They don’t know that. They need little things to look forward to and plan. You know, like little projects, little chores.
[Ainsley] Oh. It’s so cute, Daddy. They’ve been working so hard decorating the party room.
[Tommy] Oh?
But we’re not supposed to know. Big surprise.
[Nathan] This nursing home sounds like a really nice place. Could be somewhere your father might like.
[Angela] Family stays at home, Nate. In fact, we’re gonna throw a welcome dinner for your dad tonight.
[Tommy] Oh, good. What’s the theme tonight, hon?
[Angela] Hold that thought.
♪ Soft, gentle music ♪
[Angela] T.L., honey. If you were on death row and today was the day of your execution, what would your last meal be?
[T.L.] What the fuck kind of question is that?
[Angela] I’m just trying to get to the bottom of your favorite meal. If I ask what’s your favorite, you’re gonna hem and haw about it. “Maybe it’s steak, but I sure love pizza.
[chuckling]
[Angela] Maybe it’s fajitas.” But when I cut it down to “You get one meal and then you’re getting electrocuted,” people get real decisive.
[T.L.] Best food I ever had in my life was at the marina in Sabine Pass.
[Angela] So, seafood.
[T.L.] Mmm.
[Angela] Mmm.
[T.L.] Barbecued blue crab. Crawfish boil. Crabs.
[Angela] Mmhmm.
[T.L.] Fried catfish.
[Angela] [chuckles]
[T.L.] Oysters.
[Angela] [exhales sharply] A man who knows what he wants. I like that.
[Angela] The theme tonight… is pirates. [chuckles softly] Isn’t that cute, honey? You get to dress like a little buccaneer.
[Ainsley] What’s a buccaneer?
[Angela] Another name for “pirate.”
[Ainsley] Why do pirates need two names?
[Angela] That’s a question for your history teacher, honey.
[Tommy] Pirate’s a general term, honey. Buccaneer is specific to the Caribbean and the Gulf of Mexico.
[Angela] “Gulf of America” now, baby.
[Tommy] I don’t give a fuck what they call it. You know, the salt water out east of Galveston.
[Nathan] [inhales sharply, groans]
[Tommy] You all right, Nate?
[Nathan] Tachyarrhythmia.
[Ainsley] Nate, you speak another language?
[Tommy] [chuckles] Matter of fact, it does sound kind of like Dutch or Scandinavian or something, honey. Just breathe, Nate.
[Dale] Morning, everybody.
[Angela] Morning, Dale.
[Ainsley] Morning.
[Dale] There ain’t no more coffee?
[Tommy] We didn’t know if you could have it on your diet.
[Dale] I’m not on a diet.
[Angela] Can you eat seafood, Dale?
[Dale] I ain’t on a fucking diet.
[Angela] Oh, good, because the theme tonight is pirates. So wear your best pirate outfit.
[Dale] Oh, great. Think I’ll dress up as a railroad commissioner.
[Tommy] [laughing]
[Angela] Not trains. That’s a different night, though I got no idea the cuisine. Baby, we should look up train food.
What would train food be?
[Angela] I don’t know.
[Nathan] Tommy, would you please pass these on to your son?
[Tommy] What are they?
[Nathan] Uh, drilling invoices, pipe suppliers, camp rentals.
[Tommy] Why did they send them here?
[Nathan] I would love the answer to that question, Tommy.
[Angela] Honey, we got to go. We’re gonna be late.
[Angela] Bye, honey.
[Tommy] Bye, baby. I’ll see you later.
Love you, Daddy. Mwah.
[Tommy] Love you. Love you, sweetie.
Bye, Dale.
[Dale] Bye. Have a good day.
♪ Soft, somber music ♪
[door opens]
[door closes]
♪♪♪
[Tommy] Do you want some breakfast?
[T.L.] Busy day?
[Tommy] Every day’s the same, Pop. Anyhow, just make yourself at home. There’s all kinds of shit in the fridge.
[T.L.] Who those horses belong to?
[Tommy] Whichever old man owns that field. Thinking the subdivision stops with him.
[T.L.] Stops with him for now.
[Tommy] Till he dies and his kids sell it off so fast it burns the grass off the son of a bitch. Then we’re staring at houses. I’ll see you tonight.
[T.L.] Yep.
[Tommy] Supper around here can be kind of an event. So I’m just warning you.
[T.L.] An event?
[Tommy] You just have to see it to believe it. There ain’t no fucking way to describe it.
♪ Slow, gentle music ♪
[dog barking in distance]
♪♪♪
[Ariana] [grunts softly] Hey.
[Cooper] Hey back.
[Ariana] What time do you have to be at work?
[Cooper] Don’t. No particular time. Wells run just fine on their own.
[Ariana] Must be nice being rich.
[Cooper] I haven’t found the downside yet. Course, I haven’t gotten a check yet either, so… really not much different than yesterday at the moment.
[Ariana] [chuckles] What will you do?
[Cooper] I don’t know. [inhales deeply] Maybe… buy a little place we can visit on the weekends. Give Miguel a place to run around. Someday… maybe have some more kids that need to run around.
[Ariana] If we’re gonna do this, then let’s do it. Both feet. I don’t need a roommate.
[Cooper] I’ll do whatever you want.
[Ariana] Okay then.
[Cooper] What do you want?
[Ariana] What do you think I want?
[Cooper] Well, if I knew, I wouldn’t be asking the question.
[Ariana] Well, I’m Catholic. Catholics don’t exactly shack up.
[Cooper] You want to get married?
[Ariana] Do you want to get married?
[Cooper] [chuckles] Why do women always answer questions with questions?
[Ariana] [scoffs] ‘Cause we already know what we think. I’m just trying to gauge what you’re thinking.
[Cooper] I’d marry you tomorrow. Today. If a priest lived next door, I’d make him do it right now.
[Ariana] There’s a few more steps to it than that. First, you have to ask me. And before you ask me, you need to ask my father.
[Cooper] I don’t know your father.
[Ariana] Well, then you have to meet him.
[Cooper] Where’s he live?
[Ariana] Corpus.
[Cooper] On the coast?
[Ariana] He’s a welder for a Valero refinery.
[Cooper] [grunts] They know about me?
[Ariana] I don’t keep secrets.
[Cooper] Well, can you give me a sense of… their opinion on the subject?
[Ariana] The opinion is mixed.
[Cooper] [exhaling] [chuckles softly] I got to go talk to my dad this morning. And then I’ll head that way after. Will you let ’em know I’m coming?
[Ariana] That’s not how this works.
[Cooper] [scoffs]
[Ariana] [chuckles] You want me, figure it out and get me.
[Cooper] [chuckles softly]
[Ariana] Hey. I don’t believe in divorce. I believe in forever. I’ve only been with two men in my life, and I’m not interested in looking for a third. So, be sure, because this is gonna be a lot of work.
[Cooper] [grunts softly] Dating you hasn’t exactly been a picnic.
[Ariana] Hey.
[Cooper] But it’s got its perks.
[Ariana] Mm.
[Cooper] I’ll call you when I head that way.
♪ Soft, somber music ♪
♪ gentle music ♪
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
[“No Way Out” by Jack Wharff Band playing]
♪ No, it ain’t right ♪
♪ I finally said ♪
♪ Rolled up with the devil ♪
♪ Only way out
was in an early grave ♪
♪ I walk the line ♪
♪ Between the hard times
and barely living ♪
♪ Whatever it takes ♪
♪ Just to keep me sane ♪
♪ But then again,
I kind of like the pain ♪
♪ Wouldn’t have it
any other way ♪
♪ No way out,
nothing left to lose ♪
♪ What you see is what you get ♪
♪ ‘Cause it ain’t up to me… ♪
[Tommy] Did you order?
[Cooper] Waitress is doing a pretty good job of not noticing me.
[Tommy] Well, that’s ’cause you dress like you run a Weedwacker on a landscaping crew. When you’re hunting leases, do you dress like that?
[Cooper] Well, I ain’t hunting leases today.
[Tommy] [chuckles]
[Ellie] Morning, Tommy.
[Tommy] Morning, honey.
[Ellie] You in the middle or the end?
[Tommy] My day just started.
[Ellie] All right, well, I’m gonna leave you the beer menu in case your day started like mine.
[Tommy] Since when did y’all get a beer menu?
[Ellie] Oil expo coming to town next week. Those big-city boys like their craft brews.
[Tommy] Walking Stick Brewery. Spindletop Brewery. Platipus?
[Ellie] [chuckles] I don’t know where they come up with them names.
[Tommy] They must’ve been drinking when they made ’em up. Here’s one just called “Eight.”
[Ellie] I think Troy Aikman owns that.
[Tommy] No shit.
[Ellie] Mmhmm.
[Tommy] Might have to try that just out of respect.
[Ellie] Yeah, supposed to be healthy.
[Cooper] A healthy beer?
[Tommy] From your lips to God’s ears, Ellie.
[Ellie chuckles]
[Tommy] No, just bring me coffee and four eggs over easy and, uh, two sausage patties.
[Ellie] You got it. How about you, darling?
[Cooper] I’m fine.
[Ellie] You sure about that? Looks like you could hula-hoop through a Cheerio.
[Cooper] I’m good. Thank you.
[Ellie] All right. I’m gonna bring you some biscuits anyway.
[Tommy] Where you staying these days?
[Cooper] With Ariana.
[Tommy] Y’all figured it out?
[Cooper] I’m gonna ask her to marry me. It’s what she wants. Mm. I want it, too.
[Tommy] She said that, did she?
[Cooper] She did.
[Ellie] Here you go.
[Copper] Thanks.
[Tommy] There’s some things worth rushing, and others should move caterpillar slow. Marriage is the latter, son.
[Cooper] She’s all I think about. When I close my eyes, I still see her.
[Tommy] Well, there’s a little more to it than that.
[Cooper] Is there?
[Tommy] You seem determined to make your girl problem worse, so let’s talk about your other problem.
[Cooper] Okay. I read over the contract, and I don’t see a problem.
[Tommy] And you’re still drilling at six million per? And the six active wells?
[Cooper] Yeah.
[Tommy] Yeah, you’re gonna make five times that much, but not this month. Not this year.
[Cooper] Sonrisa’s covering drilling costs, so it’s fine.
[Tommy] Oh, so, they put $40 million dollars in a checking account and you didn’t tell me about it?
[Cooper] I thought that… No, they just… They pay.
[Tommy] The loan’s to you with a meter running and a fifty-fifty split. Thirty days to build a pad and drill, 30 more days to fill the tanks, and you don’t get paid till the 27th of the next month. So who the fuck’s paying your bills?
[Cooper] I thought the loan paid it.
[Tommy] What loan? Where is it? Did you open an LLC and a bank account for the LLC? Is this loan company stroking you a check for $40 million dollars to put in the bank? Did you hire an accounting firm to service debt and payables? [closes cigarette case] How the fuck did you talk these crews into drilling?
[Cooper] I showed ’em the approval letter and the agreement. Told ’em who I was and…
[Tommy] Okay. Now we’re getting somewhere.
[Tommy] Thank you, honey.
[Ellie] Here you go, babe.
[Tommy] That explains the $44 million dollars’ worth of invoices that we got. You don’t know how this business works. You think you do, but you don’t. And you damn sure don’t know who you got in business with. But since you’re so terrible at it, it might save you. MTEX is gonna buy your leases. And we’ll cancel the note and cover your costs. The drilling expenses and the surface lease. Maintenance. The whole thing.
[Cooper] So I get nothing?
[Tommy] You have nothing. No, I take that back. You-you found a blind spot. You got good instincts. And shock of all shocks, apparently, you’re a hell of a salesman. So I’m gonna hire you back, and I’m gonna start to teach you…
[Cooper] I ain’t working no crew.
[Tommy] No, you’re running one. And you’re gonna do exactly what I tell you to do.
[Cooper] Three thousand barrels a day and I don’t see a dime of it?
[Tommy] You were never gonna see a fucking dime. They would foreclose on your leases and flip ’em and leave you in a mountain of fucking debt and a ruined name in the basin. A land man makes $9,000 a month, plus bonus. Now, when I show you how this deal works, with your instincts… and I never had ’em, not like you do… you make $9,000 a minute. But you got to know the rules of the game to bend ’em. And you really got to know ’em to break ’em.
[Cooper] I got to sign something?
[Tommy] Shit yeah. About 300 pages, once Nate writes it up.
[Cooper] All right. When do I start?
[Tommy] Well, you’re with me now. When do you want to start?
[Cooper] I got to drive to Corpus, so… when I get back?
[Tommy] What’s in Corpus?
[Cooper] Ariana’s parents.
[Tommy] Goddamn.
[Cooper] Dad. I love her.
[Tommy] If it were only that simple. And you do need to eat something. “Hula-hooping through a Cheerio” ain’t a fucking compliment.
[phone buzzing]
[Tommy] Hey, Nate.
[Nathan] Blanton’s attorneys have a proposal.
[Tommy] Well, I’m headed that way.
[Nathan] No time. They want to meet in an hour. After that, we lose ’em to trial with the clock ticking.
[Tommy] All right. Well, go to Fort Worth, but don’t agree to anything till you run it by me.
[Nathan] Rebecca was supposed to meet with the sheriff at the incident site.
[Tommy] What incident site?
[Nathan] We had a vehicle accident at one of our lease roads.
[Tommy] You finish my breakfast. I guess I don’t get any today.
[Cooper] All right.
[Tommy] How bad?
[Nathan] They don’t get worse.
[Tommy] And I’m just hearing about this shit now?
[Nathan] You had the funeral, and we don’t have enough information yet to present it.
[Tommy] Nate, goddamn it.
[Nathan] Tommy, you’re the president now. This issue isn’t even…
[Tommy] I’m also the president. I still run operations, and I can’t do it if I don’t know everything.
[Nathan] Sorry, Tommy. We never told Monty about these things until they were fleshed out.
[Tommy] Monty didn’t run the basin. Monty ran Fort Worth. I ran the basin, and I still run it.
[Nathan] Understood.
[Tommy] Send me a pin to this crash.
♪ Low, tense music ♪
[tires screeching]
[shuts off engine]
♪♪♪
[Tommy] Why didn’t you call me?
[Walt] I called your lawyer. You’re the big man now.
[Tommy] Lawyer ain’t the first call. Lawyer’s the last call. And that’s my call.
[Walt] Who pissed in your Froot Loops?
[Tommy] God. It’s the first thing he did this morning. Now walk me through this shit.
[Walt] Sand hauler blasting down this road well over the speed limit.
[Tommy] How do you know that?
[Walt] Well, he was traveling at an unsafe speed.
[Tommy] How do you know it was unsafe?
[Walt] Judging by that mangled pickup that got tossed into that pumpjack… it was unsafe. He didn’t have time to brake or evade.
[Tommy] Is this the pickup driver’s property?
[Walt] It is not.
[Tommy] Whose is it?
[Walt] Yours.
[Tommy] And the son of a bitch didn’t have permission to use it.
[Walt] Tommy, you ain’t got to argue this with me.
[Tommy] Oh, I disagree. Your police report’s gonna be the basis for their fucking lawsuit. You start using words like “unsafe speeds” and shit like that, well, that alters the opinion of the attorneys and the court and a potential jury.
[Walt] The son of a bitch was going 60 down a caliche road at midnight.
[Tommy] It’s my fucking road, Walt. I’ll put up “65 mile-an-hour” signs all over this son of a bitch this afternoon.
[Walt] Well, that ain’t the worst idea you ever had.
[Tommy] Yeah, well, I’m just getting started. Now, what’s this rig?
[Walt] That’s what I was telling your lawyer. He ran that hose in the back window of his truck. Been sucking exhaust fumes for who knows how long.
[Tommy] You doing an autopsy?
[Walt] I ordered one.
[Tommy] Mike, this is Tommy. Is your investigator on the way out here to this accident site? No, the other one. No, the vehicle accident. No, the sand hauler. How many damn claims have we submitted, Mike?
[Walt] He don’t even know which accident you’re talking about.
[Tommy] Well, get him out here. No, today. We’re not the defendant in this one. We’re the plaintiff. If you send somebody out here to photograph this evidence. Uh… [exhales] Walt, if you want something done right, you got to do it your fucking self.
[Walt] We photographed the scene.
[phone clicking]
[Tommy] Well, no offense, Walt, but getting evidence from a government agency is about as speedy a process as getting a tattoo removed.
[Walt] So call you from now on. Nate said call the lawyer.
[Tommy] No, you call me and only me.
[Walt] I prefer it. That lawyer’s wound pretty tight.
[Tommy] If she swallowed a lump of coal, she’d make a diamond in three days.
♪ Low, somber music ♪
[phone ringing]
[Dale] Hey. What do you know, Tommy?
[Tommy] Evidently, I don’t know shit, Dale. What happened out at that cleanup?
[Dale] We walked into a cloud of H2S. Nate didn’t fucking tell you?
[Tommy] Nobody told me, bud.
[Dale] Oh, shit. I’m sorry, Tommy. Uh… Yeah. Uh, it was a bad deal. Jerrell’s still in the hospital. It killed a bunch of hunters. There’s fucking dead bodies everywhere.
[Tommy] Dead bodies everywhere? Good God Almighty. Where’s Jerrell? Odessa or Midland?
[Dale] Uh, Midland.
[Tommy] Fucking bitch. Damn it. [grunts]
♪♪♪
[group]
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday, dear Angela ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
[cheering]
[applause]
[Angela] Thank you.
[excited chatter]
[woman] Make a wish.
Make a wish. Make a wish.
Make a wish, Mama.
♪ Now, baby, I’m sure… ♪
[“Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina and the Waves playing]
[exclaiming, cheering]
[excited chatter]
[laughter]
♪ Every time I go
for the mailbox… ♪
[Angela] Thank you all so much. I mean, this is the best birthday ever.
Well, how old are you now?
[Angela] [gasps] Hank, that is forever a mystery.
If you was 50, I’d still have 40 years on you.
[Angela] Fifty? Hank, did you develop cataracts over the weekend? Do I look 50?
No. You look like one of those pinup models from back in World War II, the kind that they painted on their airplanes.
[Hank mutters]
[Angela] Nice save, Hank.
Okay, presents.
[Ainsley] Yes.
[Angela] There’s so many. Which one first?
Oh! Open mine.
[Angela] Okay.
What one’s yours?
Uh, that one there.
This is?
Yep. Mmhmm.
♪♪♪
There you go.
♪ I used to think
maybe you loved me ♪
♪ Now I know that it’s true ♪
[Beverly] Know what that is?
[Angela] I know what I think it is.
[Beverly] That’s a posture fixer right there. I dare you to stick that in and slouch.
[Ainsley] Ma, can I see that?
[Angela] Absolutely not. Thank you, Beverly. If my shoulders start slumping, I know how to fix it.
And how.
[Angela] Mmhmm.
[Angela] Whose is this?
Oh, it’s mine.
[Angela] Thank you, Mabel.
♪ And I want you to stay ♪
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
♪ I’m walking on sunshine,
whoa-oh… ♪
[Angela] I’m detecting a theme.
I bought it off the Dirty Shopper. It was two for one.
[Angela] What cable package do y’all have?
They found the naughty channels last week.
[Angela] Uh-uh.
It’s been a problem.
Nobody told us there were channels above 600.
And now they can’t wait for nap time.
[Angela] I-I’m gonna take a little break on the presents here. Why don’t you cut the cake? Who wants a birthday margarita?
[excited chatter]
Two of them.
[Angela] All right.
[Ainsley] Do you think they have sex?
[Angela] I-I’m thinking it now.
[excited chatter continues]
[Ainsley] Guessing Hank stays busy.
[Angela] Maybe so, but my money’s on Bob.
[Ainsley] He does look happy. Relaxed.
[Angela] It’s always the quiet ones, baby.
[Ainsley] Okay.
♪ Slow, atmospheric music ♪
[phone line ringing]
[phone buzzing]
[Tommy] Hey. You all right?
[T.L.] What are you doing?
[Tommy] Do you really want to know?
[T.L.] Sure.
[Tommy] All right. Well, I just left the hospital and a 28yearold father of two who may or may not be blind the rest of his life ’cause he walked into an H2S leak. Now, I’m driving three hours east to have a two-minute conversation with a drug dealer who launders his money through an oil services lender. Tell him to keep his $40 million fucking dollars. I don’t need it. Then I’m driving three hours back to a pirate-themed fish fry with my ex-wife, my daughter, two oil company employees and you. And after that, I’m gonna go out in the garage and find the thickest spot in the drywall and run my fucking head through it.
[T.L.] So, just another day.
[Tommy] Just another fucking day, Pop. What do you need?
[T.L.] I don’t know what to do.
[Tommy] Well, shit, do whatever you want to. Read a book, watch TV.
[T.L.] I mean…
[Tommy] Watch one of them daytime talk shows. You know, like The View or something.
[T.L.] What’s The View?
[Tommy] Bunch of pissed off millionaires bitching about how much they hate millionaires and Trump and men and you and me and everybody else they got a bee up their ass about. It’s pretty funny.
[T.L.] Don’t sound funny.
[Tommy] Well, it ain’t joke funny, it’s like “fart in church” funny, you know what I mean?
[T.L.] That don’t sound funny, either.
[Tommy] Well, it depends on your proximity to the fart.
[T.L.] I mean, I can’t get back inside, and I don’t know what to do. The door’s locked.
[Tommy] Wasn’t locked when I left.
[T.L.] Well, it’s locked now.
[Tommy] Did you make sure you pushed the handle all the way down?
[T.L.] I’ve been opening doors for 80 fucking years. I’m pretty sure I’ve mastered the task.
[Tommy] All right. Well, go around the side of the house. There’s a key under a frog near the mulch.
[T.L.] A key under a frog.
[Tommy] Yeah.
[T.L.] By the mulch.
[Tommy] Yeah.
[T.L.] Got it. Hope your day improves.
[Tommy] It won’t.
[T.L.] Not with that fucking attitude.
[Tommy] So now you’re doling out life advice? You might want to check your résumé first.
[T.L.] Shit-talking, wise ass son of a bitch. “Check your résumé.” [grunts] Let me check how far I can shove my boot up your ass. [grunts] Fuck. [groans softly] Uh, there’s the frog. And there’s the key. Thank you, frog.
[Shelby] Who are you?
[T.L.] I, uh… I’m Grandpa, if you can believe it.
[Shelby] Well, that seems on-brand. Are you visiting for a bit?
[T.L.] I don’t know what I’m doing.
[Shelby] Is Ainsley home?
[T.L.] She went to some birthday party.
[Shelby] Oh, that’s right. With their old folks.
[T.L.] Yeah.
[Shelby] You got a cool voice. Yeah, like the-the movie trailer guy.
[both laugh]
[Shelby] That could be a good second career for you.
[T.L.] No offense, miss, but do I look like I have a second career in me?
[Shelby] [low-pitched] Coming soon to a movie theater near you. Two men, one race.
[T.L. chuckles]
[Shelby] Only one winner. Tom Cruise is… The Falcon.
[T.L.] [chuckles] What’s your name?
[Shelby] [normal voice] Shelby.
[T.L.] Good name.
[Shelby] I’m pretty partial to it.
[T.L.] I had a Shelby once. It’s a car. Or it was.
[Shelby] Really?
[T.L.] Yeah. The Shelby Cobra. One time, it was the fastest car in the world.
[Shelby] You still have it?
[T.L.] I don’t have anything anymore. I’ll tell Ainsley I met you. Had a conversation through a fucking fence.
[Shelby] Enjoyed the talk.
[T.L.] Oh, believe me, Shelby, I enjoyed it more.
♪ Slow, atmospheric music ♪
♪♪♪
[Nathan] Thanks.
[McDougal] Appreciate you coming down on such short notice. We had a pretrial hearing move up, then trial begins tomorrow, so we will be underwater for the foreseeable future and would prefer this be put to rest first.
[Nathan] Well, we’re seeking out firms for the environmental impact report.
[James] We aren’t gonna game today. You are redrilling an existing well in the identical location. The impact is the same as it was the first time. BOEM and BSEE permits are in place, and you know it.
[Rebecca] No, we don’t know it. As I said last time, we had a material change of control. Not only was the responsibility to drill shielded from our client, the rig itself was shielded from our client.
[McDougal] That’s irrelevant. Our binding agreement is with the company, not the individual who has been replaced.
[Rebecca] He wasn’t replaced. He died.
[McDougal] [laughs] He wasn’t replaced? The company has no president? No principal? It’s just running itself?
[James] We aren’t playing the “babe in the woods,” “we don’t know” game.
[Rebecca] Excuse me?
[James] I think I was pretty clear. Your permits are in place. Your window with weather is now. You have 45 days to get a rig in motion.
[Nathan] 45 days? That’s impossible.
[McDougal] It’s punitively aggressive. It isn’t impossible.
♪ Tense, suspenseful music ♪
[Rebecca] I could place the entire estate… company included… before a probate judge, and freeze this for the next three years.
[James] I sure wish you would. Perhaps a judge can figure out where our $400 million dollars went.
[McDougal] Understand, before we litigate against you, we will be presenting this to the county attorney. And I assure you, it will go before a grand jury. Embezzlement, insurance fraud, wire fraud… because the fraudulent agreements were mailed… insurance fraud…
[Nathan] We get it.
[Rebecca] No, we don’t get it. You and I had a very different conversation a week ago.
[James] And this is the conversation we’re having now. Christina?
[McDougal] You will notice on 24A, we will be requiring weekly documented progress reports.
[James] We want lease agreements, vendor contracts, crew contracts.
[McDougal] All this is listed in section C, “stipulations of compliance.” There you have it. We wish you the best of luck.
♪ Gentle, atmospheric music ♪
[Tommy] Yeah.
[Nathan] You wanted me to give you bad news as soon as I get it?
[Tommy] [sighs] Yeah.
[Nathan] They want a rig en route within 45 days or they press criminal charges and prep to litigate.
[Tommy] Well, what’s the compromise?
[Nathan] That is the compromise. We’re headed to the Fort Worth office to begin planning and meet with Alan. Tommy, we need to find this money. I don’t think the buck stops with Monty on this one.
[Tommy] We didn’t know about it, Nate.
[Nathan] Cami’s name is on everything. Everything, Tommy. She may not know it, but she signed it.
[Tommy] All right. I’ll be there in half an hour.
♪ Tense, atmospheric music ♪
♪♪♪
[Tommy] By the time you get her parked, I’ll already be back down.
[elevator bell dings]
[Tommy] It’s funny how y’all know I’m coming when I didn’t tell anybody.
Please.
[Tommy] Thanks.
[Gallino] In the neighborhood?
[Tommy] Not really.
[Gallino] So, what do I owe the pleasure?
[Tommy] MTEX bought out Cooper’s leases. We’re gonna take on the debt. There’s no need for a loan. If there’s a balance, send an invoice and we’ll see that it’s paid, but it appears the loan was never funded.
[Gallino] He never told us where to send the check. Funny how you forget things when you’re excited. Like the most important things.
[Tommy] Well, we can all forget it now.
[Gallino] We’re happy to partner, offset the expenses.
[Tommy] We don’t need partners.
[Gallino] Well, that’s not what your boss says. She says you need a partner pretty bad.
[Tommy] Listen, if you want to get our wives together to go martini for martini and brag on your fucking shoes, knock yourself out, but Cami doesn’t understand where your money comes from.
[Gallino] You don’t understand where my money comes from.
[Tommy] I know exactly where your fucking money comes from. I sat in the basement of your money with a goddamn nail in my fucking thigh.
[Gallino] Tommy…
[Tommy] You remember that part?
[Gallino] Tommy, at least have the decency to close the door if you’re gonna yell at me.
[Tommy] You can sit up here and play investor and golf at the country club and all that shit, but you killed a man in front of me. I know who you are and I know what your money is. And I can’t have it anywhere near us.
[Gallino] Interest on a $400 million dollar loan, if you can find one from a traditional lender, is $16 to $18 million a quarter. Maybe more with risk. Maybe you can get a pick rate… at 14%. And then you might default because of some bullshit in the fine print, then it’s 16. And then you’re hemorrhaging ownership every month. In three years, the business isn’t yours anymore. Well, it was never yours, it was hers. Or it was. She told me everything. It’s a tough situation. Well, I wish you the best of luck in finding a solution out there that doesn’t bring you back into my office. But I don’t think it exists. Porque yo soy la solución. I am the fucking solution. So, when you realize it, I’ll be here waiting.
[“Grease” by Lainey Wilson playing]
♪ Come on ♪
♪ It’s been a long, hot summer ♪
♪ For a hardworking
John Deere man ♪
♪ You’re real tired,
well, no wonder ♪
♪ ‘Cause you earned
that farmer’s tan ♪
♪ While I been working
in the garden ♪
♪ You been melting… ♪
One, two, three.
♪ All the ice in my sweet tea ♪
♪ Well, look at
what you started ♪
♪ All because you got
a little thirsty ♪
♪ Good God Almighty ♪
♪ Boy, you got me begging
like an old hound dog, yeah ♪
♪ Buttered up and rolling,
like a skillet smoking up ♪
♪ A kitchen down in Arkansas ♪
♪ Yeah, we on to something,
won’t you keep it coming… ♪
[Ainsley laughs]
[Angela] Hi, T.L.
[T.L.] Hey.
[Angela] Do you want us to call you T.L.? Is that more of a guy thing?
[Ainsley] We can call you Thomas.
[T.L.] T.L.’s fine.
[Ainsley] I quite like Thomas. Thomas. You know, I always figured that’s what they’d call Daddy when he was grown.
[T.L.] He’s about as grown as he’s gonna get. [grunts] Let me give y’all a hand.
[Angela] Don’t even think about it. Baby, you’re on vacation.
[T.L.] I can still carry a bag of groceries.
[Angela] We got everything. You just rest that petunia.
[Ainsley] Three, like, more in the car.
[Angela] All right.
[Ainsley] [exhales]
[T.L.] Met your friend Shelby.
[Ainsley] Isn’t she a little bug?
[both chuckle]
[Ainsley] You know, I should invite her to supper.
[T.L.] Jesus, you feeding the whole street?
[Angela] I like abundance, T.L.
[Ainsley] Can I invite Shelby for dinner?
[Angela] Of course you can, baby.
[Ainsley] Great.
[Angela] Whoo. Okay. Oh, all the catfish was frozen, but I can blacken a red fish that’ll curl your toes, Thomas.
[T.L.] Wow.
[Angela] How many do we got tonight? If Shelby comes, there’s two, three with Tommy, Thomas is four, Dale, Neal…
[Ainsley] Nate.
[Angela] Shit.
[Ainsley] [laughs] It’s Nate.
[Angela] I always call him that, Thomas. I mean, he looks more like a Neal than a Nate. Nate sounds like a fun guy. You met him. Fun he ain’t.
[T.L. laughing]
[Angela] Eh, he’s just kind of there. Present.
[Ainsley] Yeah. And worried.
[Angela] Present and worried.
[Ainsley] Always worried.
[T.L. laughing]
[Angela] Worried. And just the most forgettable face. I mean, you can be looking right at him and forget it.
[T.L. laughter]
[Ainsley] So mean.
[T.L.] I’m sorry, I don’t remember the last time I saw people just… be happy, with themselves, with each other.
[Angela] You know what you need? A cold beer and a ball game. You don’t need to listen to us cackle like a couple of crows.
[T.L.] I’ll take the beer, but I’m gonna sit right here and watch the crows cackle.
[Ainsley] We can cackle with the best of ’em.
[T.L.] God. You look just like her.
[Ainsley] Like who?
[T.L.] Trust me, it’s a compliment.
[Ainsley] Then that’s how I’ll take it. Thank you.
[Angela] I need that big cauldron from the garage and the fryer. I hope we’ve got peanut oil. We got to make the stock first. You know what? You’re gonna be the corn chopper and the garlic smasher.
[Ainsley] On it.
[elevator bell dings]
♪ Slow, atmospheric music ♪
[Tommy] Hey, Monica. Where are they, babe?
[Monica] She’s in her office.
[Tommy] Okay. Thank you.
[Alan] So, everything waterfalls from holdco into these various entities. Okay? Now… M Miller Insurance and Casualty, a C Corp, is where all profit flows. From there, it’s allocated into various funds and then back into MTEX Oil, for-for example, payables or debt service. Everything except the insurance company is zeroed out at the end of year.
[Cami] Why is all the money in an insurance company?
[Tommy] Insurance companies don’t pay tax on profit if the funds are kept for underwriting.
[Alan] Yeah, Tommy’s right. So, continue to increase coverage on the-the house, the-the planes, on everything. When you max out the coverage, buy something else to insure, and, basically, you’re-you’re paying zero income tax.
[Tommy] Okay. Now let’s get to the missing $400 million, all right?
[Alan] Okay, it’s not, it’s not missing, okay? It was rolled over into a money market account to trigger a line of credit to match. Then it was moved back into the insurance company once that line of credit was allocated to the Wolfcamp workovers, then it was invested in various private equity funds.
[Tommy] Well, we think it’s time to pull it back out.
[Alan] Well, it doesn’t work that way. All of the funds haven’t even been called yet. If you miss a call, then you’re-you’re in breach, and they will absorb all the investment that you already have allocated. Funds have a maturity rate. Prior to that, early withdrawal could result in a loss of 60%, 80%. Many of these funds, the machination for early withdrawal doesn’t even exist.
[Nathan] So, to be clear, she does have the money.
[Alan] Yes.
[Rebecca] She just can’t access it.
[Alan] Correct.
[Tommy] Well, we have a real fucking problem here, Alan.
[Alan] Well, I know. I know. Now, I’d like to present a solution. It’s gonna sound dramatic, so just hear me out.
[Tommy] We’re all ears.
[Alan] MTEX and its subsidiaries file for bankruptcy.
[Tommy] Oh, for fuck’s sake, Alan.
[Alan] Hear me out, Tommy. So, all of the cash is in the insurance company. That’s a C Corp, so none of the liabilities of any of the other companies are gonna flow back up to it. It holds over $800 million dollars in tax-exempt liquid, albeit $700 million is allocated. She files for Chapter 11, okay? The planes, they go back to the bank. The insurance company buys them right back again. The debt is wiped completely clean. There’s no recourse that’s gonna flow back to the trusts. Then you’re-you’re in the insurance business.
[Rebecca] She would lose the leases.
[Alan] Yes.
[Nathan] And the royalties on the owned mineral rights.
[Alan] Owned by the LLCs, yes, but owned personally, I-I think those are safe.
[Cami] You think? Tommy, Danny Morrell will partner with us. He’ll advance the funds to drill and operate. So, we trade half the proceeds on an offshore rig I didn’t even know existed. Who cares? And then I don’t have to talk about bankruptcy, or insurance…
[Tommy] Listen. Hey. [stammers] Okay.
[Cami] …or being sued anymore.
[Tommy] Two things, all right? Number one, you need to explain to me this whole shell game, in detail, so I can keep the fucking lights on around this place, all right? And number two, everybody leave the room except for Cami.
[Nathan] You don’t want a lawyer present, Tommy?
[Tommy] Especially the lawyers.
[door closes]
[Tommy] Now I’m gonna tell you something that never leaves this room, because if it does, lawsuits are the least of our problems. We bought some mineral rights in an auction for what turned out to be land owned by a cartel in Mexico. Now, I negotiated a surface lease with said cartel, and them being a fucking drug cartel, decided they wanted to change the rules. And when I refused, they put me in a basement underneath a bar and put a gun to my head, beat the holy shit out of me, and then doused me in gasoline and were about to make s’mores over the bonfire they were turning me into. And your buddy Danny, he stopped it.
[Cami] How’d he stop them?
[Tommy] Because it’s his cartel. Now, the FBI, they might find a way to forgive us for leasing their minerals, but a $400 million dollar loan? We look like the engine of their money laundering machine. You understand me?
♪ Slow, atmospheric music ♪
[Cami] You’re in business with him?
[Tommy] Yes.
[Cami] And we still have the leases?
[Tommy] Yes.
[Cami] So we’re in business with him now.
[Tommy] In a manner of speaking, yes.
[Cami] You don’t know where his money comes from.
[Tommy] Oh, I know.
[Cami] No, you don’t.
[Tommy] I do know.
[Cami] You think you do, but no, you don’t and neither do I. He’s never mentioned drugs to me.
[Tommy] [laughs] I bet he hasn’t.
[Cami] I will not lose the company my husband started in our garage, eight weeks after taking it over. I’m not gonna declare bankruptcy, and I’m not gonna let some insurance company sue it away from me.
[Tommy] Didn’t you hear what I’m trying to tell you? That’s the fucking boss…
[Cami] The offer that Danny made is a good one.
[Tommy] They fucking kidnapped me.
[Cami] And I’m accept…
[Tommy] You know who you’re dealing with?
[Cami] And I’m accepting it.
[Tommy] You’re dealing with a bad fucking guy here.
[Cami] Anything else is giving up, and I will not give up.
[Tommy] Okay. Well, I-I tell you what, they might give you up, anyway.
[Cami] You have our attorneys meet with his, and paper it.
[Tommy] His attorneys…
[Cami] And if you’re that concerned, then you have them lawyer up some language that protects us.
[Tommy] Okay. Yeah. You’re not hearing me, Cami. You don’t understand what I’m saying.
[Cami] You know what? The only thing I’ve ever lost in my life is my husband. Everything else I’ve won. And I’ll win this, too. And one more thing? Don’t ever summon me to a meeting again. From now on, meetings come to me.
[Tommy sighs]
♪♪♪
[Tommy] If I can drive like I got a rocket strapped to the top of my truck, I should be home about 7:00. I want both of you there, all right?
♪ Gentle, atmospheric music ♪
[woman over speaker] Good morning. Buenos dÃas.
Nice to meet you. Encantado de conocerte.
Long time no see. Mucho tiempo sin verte.
Thank you. Gracias.
Thank you for your help. Gracias por tu ayuda.
[dog barking in distance]
[engine stops]
[Cooper exhales]
[clears throat]
[Cooper] Uh, Mr. Barrera?
[Carlos] Who are you?
[Cooper] A friend of your daughter’s.
[Carlos] Something happen?
[Cooper] No, sir. She-she’s fine. Uh… Well, she’s been through it, but…
[Carlos] She’s tough.
[Cooper] Yes, sir. That she is. Do you think we could, uh… talk, just you and me?
[Carlos] Come on. Lobo.
[low growling]
[Cooper] Y’all sure like your guard dogs.
[Carlos] Better than a gun. Plenty of fools too dumb to be scared of a gun. Nobody’s dumb enough to cross that.
[Cooper] I guess not. How long y’all been here?
[Carlos] Since the crash of ’20. Worked out, though. Wife’s got cancer. San Antonio’s just two hours away, MD Anderson just three. Once she gets it licked, we’ll get back to the basin.
[Cooper] [softly] Thank you.
Tranquilo con el niño, mi amor.
[Carlos] What’d you drive here for?
[Cooper] Um… I-I’m in love with your daughter, and she says she’s in love with me. I’d like to ask her to marry me. And I’d like your permission. I know you don’t know me, and… I doubt I look like what you dreamed her husband…
[Carlos] I don’t have dreams for my daughter. She does that for herself. She’s a grown woman. You don’t need my permission. She knows that. She just wanted to see if you’d do it. Guess you passed the test. Elvio passed the test. He just had to walk down the street. Work the patch, right?
[Cooper] Yes, sir.
[Carlos] Don’t die in it. Don’t do that to her. I mean, she’s tough, but… only so much a person can take.
[Cooper] No, sir. I-I won’t.
[Carlos] You don’t look like the type, but she is my daughter, so I’ll say it. Put a hand to her, and I’ll kill you. She’d kill you first, but I’ll go real hard on whatever’s left. [sighs] Stay the night. It’s a long drive, and supper’s almost ready.
[low growling]
[Cooper] Fuck.
[Carlos] Lobo. [snaps fingers]
[“Heaven Sent” by The SteelDrivers playing]
♪ I know our days are ♪
♪ Heaven sent ♪
♪ Lord knows I know
not where they went ♪
♪ Shake my head
and I wonder how ♪
♪ I’ll ever get to heaven now ♪
[chattering]
[over speakers] ♪ An angel
came one winter dawn ♪
♪ You should’ve seen
what she had on ♪
♪ Wind was whistling
like it’s rain… ♪
[Tommy] You know, Barney, I’m proud old Troy Aikman’s got his own beer.
[Barney] [laughs] Is it any good?
[Tommy] Oh, hell if I know. I shattered my nose on a derrick mast when I was 30. Lost my sense of smell. I can’t taste a fucking thing. It’s cold, I’ll say that.
[Barney] [laughs] I’m glad.
[Tommy] What’s the fastest you ever got here from Fort Worth?
[Barney] Uh, four hours, but I was cooking. You?
[Tommy] Lower.
[Barney] Three thirty?
[Tommy] Keep going.
[Barney] Fuck you. Three fifteen?
[Tommy] Just did it.
[Barney] Shit. That’s a good way to get arrested right there.
[Tommy] Oh, I got a siren and a light and all that shit. What do you think pirates eat for supper?
[Barney] Man, this conversation’s got no fucking guardrails, huh? Uh… All right, you mean, like, present day?
[Tommy] No, old-timey, with the fat swords and golf britches and silly hats and all that.
[Barney] I bet it’s not what we think they’d eat. You know, it’s not gonna be, like, lobster and mangoes.
[Tommy] All right.
[Barney] Probably be something like, um, salt pork and dried beans. You know, shit like that.
[Tommy] Exactly what I was thinking. Something like that. Yeah. Well, I’m gonna let the air out of that dinner balloon.
[Barney] I got a question.
[Tommy] Yeah?
[Barney] Now, if you can’t taste, and you’re an alcoholic, why not just drink nonalcoholic beer?
[Tommy] You were so close to getting a fucking tip tonight, and just like that, you fucked it up.
[Barney laughs]
[Tommy chuckles]
[Tommy] Hey, when did that happen?
[Barney] Couple days ago.
[Tommy] How’s it working out?
[Barney] So far, good.
[Ariana] What are you having?
[Tommy] Oh, it don’t matter. Light beer of some kind. What is it about me that makes you just scowl?
[Ariana] I don’t like to be judged.
[Tommy] Honey, I’m not judging. I just care. I guess the two look similar sometimes.
[Ariana] Single mother in the patch with no college education. This shouldn’t be much of a surprise to you.
[Tommy] Well, I heard the single mother thing’s getting figured out.
[Ariana] We’ll see. There’s all sorts of slips between a lip and a cup.
[Tommy] “There’s many a slip twixt a cup and a lip,” but hats off to you for coming up with an oldie.
[Ariana chuckles]
[Tommy] Well, I’m going to a pirate dinner.
[Ariana] I don’t know what that means.
[Tommy] I don’t either, honey. I’ll let you know the next time I see you.
[Ariana laughs]
♪ Slow, atmospheric music ♪
[“Drunken Sailor” by The Irish Rovers playing in distance]
♪ Early in the morning ♪
♪ Put him in a longboat
till he’s sober ♪
♪ Put him
in a longboat till he’s sober ♪
♪ Put him in a longboat
till he’s sober ♪
♪ Early in the morning ♪
♪ Weigh, hey and up she rises ♪
♪ Weigh, hey and up she rises ♪
♪ Weigh, hey
and up she rises… ♪
[Tommy] I swear, one of these days, a little demon’s gonna run out of the fucking bushes and fuck me right here on this porch. Right on this goddamn porch, while that song’s playing. [sighs]
♪♪♪
[cackling]
[Tommy] The fuck?
[Ainsley] Yoho.
♪ Stick him in a scupper
with a hosepipe… ♪
[Ainsley laughs]
[Tommy] [chuckles] Hi, baby.
[Ainsley] Hi. Just put it on the table right here.
[Dale] There ain’t no getting out of this, Tommy.
[Tommy] Oh, I know. The sidewalk prepared me. How you doing, Shelby?
[Shelby] Hey.
[T.L.] So much for the illusion of your miserable life, son.
[Tommy] Oh, this is misery, Pop. This is the Broadway misery musical of my life. Welcome to it.
[Rebecca] And where would you like the, uh…
[Angela] Put ’em on the deck, lass.
[Tommy] [laughs] Oh, my God. You got to be shitting me. The lawyer’s dressed up like a pirate.
[Rebecca] Oh, God.
[Tommy] [laughs]
[Angela] Argh, there, good sir. Take ye seat or to the plank with ya.
[Tommy] You outdid yourself this time. [laughs]
♪ Weigh, hey and up
she rises, weigh, hey… ♪
[Tommy] Is that a real fucking sword? That’s a real fucking sword, babe.
[Angela] It is.
[Tommy] Goddamn it.
[Dale] Captain Tommy, have a beer.
♪ And up she rises ♪
♪ Early in the morning… ♪
[Angela] You think I signed up for this?
[Dale] I hooked a wiener.
[laughter]
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
♪ slow, atmospheric music ♪
