I Love LA
Created by: Rachel Sennott
Stars: Rachel Sennott (Maia), Odessa A’zion (Tallulah), True Whitaker (Alani), Jordan Firstman (Charlie), Josh Hutcherson (Dylan)
Premise: A codependent friend group reunites, navigating how the time apart, ambition, and new relationships have changed them.
Season 1 – Episode 7
Episode title: Divas Down
Original release date: December 14, 2025 (HBO)
Episode plot: As Tallulah focuses entirely on her new romance, Maia works to get her into an exclusive fashion dinner. Alani goes home with Charlie after surgery.
* * *
I Love LA – S01E07 – Divas Down | Full transcript
[♪ “Oblivion” by Grimes playing]
[Maia] Luck is just when preparation meets opportunity. You gotta hustle until your idols become your rivals, ‘kay? Pain is just weakness leaving the body.
♪ I never walk about
after dark ♪
♪ It’s my point of view ♪
♪ ‘Cause someone
could break your neck ♪
♪ Coming up behind you,
always coming ♪
♪ And you’d never
have a clue ♪
♪ I never look behind
all the time ♪
♪ I will wait forever,
always looking straight ♪
[Maia] [thud] Oh! Oh, my God. Baby, what are all of Tallulah’s PR packages doing here?
[Dylan] Oh, yeah, I was just tidying up, and then I thought, like, hey, I’m gonna finally put this shelf up. But I don’t think our house has any studs.
[Maia] We have one stud. You with the hammer.
[Dylan] No, this is a level.
[Maia] Okay.
[Dylan] But really, baby, when’s Tallulah coming to get all this shit? Like, it’s… it’s out of control.
[Maia] I know. She’s spending all weekend in Mar Vista with Tessa. Like, who lives on the West Side?
[Dylan] I mean, when I first moved to LA, I lived in Santa Monica. It’s actually pretty nice.
[Maia] Ugh, chill culture is so annoying to me. You can’t all be lifeguards. [chuckles] I kind of hate the beach. It’s like, sand is just dirt, and we’re all…
[both] …pretending that it’s not.
[Maia] I like pools, though. Maybe for Christmas, we could go somewhere with a pool, and then we don’t even have to wash our feet.
[Dylan] We’re rich now, or…?
[Maia] Maybe, if today goes well. I mean, I don’t wanna jinx it, but…
[Dylan] Hm. Hey, are you…
[Maia] Could you just get the door?
[Dylan] Yeah.
[tool clatters softly]
[Dylan] Uh, you’re good for tonight, right?
[Maia] Yeah.
[Dylan] For dinner? I was thinking to make chicken and potatoes, just keep it simple and…
[Maia] Yeah, perfect.
[Dylan] Yeah.
[Maia] Okay, thanks.
[Dylan] Okay. See you later.
[Maia] Is this good?
[Courtney] Yeah, it looks amazing.
[Maia] Yeah, I’m trying to make, like, clusters.
No, that’s perfect.
[Maia] Okay.
It looks very French.
[Maia] Yeah. It’s insane that Antoine is coming here.
I know, to our dumb piece-of-shit office? I mean, this place is a fuckin’ dump.
[Maia] [scoffs] I’m sweating through my shirt already. I’m wearing men’s fucking deodorant.
Yeah, I’m so nervous. I’ve been doing Duolingo French so much, I’m having, like, sex dreams about the owl. I feel like I’m, like, waking up with feathers in my mouth.
[Maia] Did you see the client photos Alyssa put up? It’s like a literal shrine to Camilia-TK. Why did she use Tallulah’s fucking Ritz photo? If that’s the only photo that Antoine sees, she has no shot at the Formé dinner.
Oh! Great, little clusters.
Hey, you two. Twinning! [laughing]
[Maia] Cute.
Oh!
[phone dings]
Oh, my God, he’s here.
Oh, uh… you. [snapping] Handsome, go… go get him. Go, go… go let him in.
Okay, remember. Big smiles. Warmth, courtesy. [sucking teeth] Poise. Okay, places, everyone.
[Maia] Is that me? Did I? Did you?
No, you’re good. Do I have…
[Maia] No, no, no, we’re good.
Good.
[♪ Electronic music playing]
♪ I’m not your
fucking friend ♪
Coocoos!
Oh! Coocoo!
Alyssa, mwah.
[both] Mwah.
Alyssa, Geoffrey. Geoffrey, Alyssa.
Coocoo.
Coocoo.
Wow, look at this. It’s so cute. Your own little empire.
Right? Alyssa, all grown up. [chuckles]
Mm.
So… everyone is talking about the Formé dinner.
You know, when I parted ways with Harper Bazaar, people thought, “What will I do? He is so toxic!” And so, I say, I will throw a dinner with a few of my pretty friends. And every year, it gets a little bigger, then bigger. And now, people seem to care.
Yeah, I think people seem to care. [laughing] How’s it going?
Well, I’m still booking. Still pairing talent with designers.
You know who’d be perfect for the dinner? Camilia-TK.
Oh, the big face. Geoffrey, do you recognize?
No.
No?
Mm.
Wait, uh, this girl with the cracker.
[Alyssa] Oh.
[Antoine] Why do I know her?
[Alyssa] Wh… mm.
Wow, she love the cracker.
[Alyssa] Uh…
[Antoine] She really love the cracker.
[Alyssa] Camilia loves the cracker.
[Antoine] Ooh, and it’s so red.
[Maia] Should I?
[Courtney] Yes, go.
[Alyssa] You know, Camilia…
[Antoine] It’s bag thief girl.
Geoffrey, you showed me her video.
What’s her name? [speaking French]
Uh, oh, um…
[Maia] Oh, uh, that’s Tallulah Stiel. I’m Maia Simsbury, her manager.
Ah! But you are like a mini-Alyssa.
[Alyssa and Maia chuckle]
It’s like little nesting dolls. [laughing] I wonder if I pop off your head, is there a tinier version of you inside?
[Antoine and Alyssa laughing]
Uh, Maia is my protégé.
Ah!
[Maia] I just wanna say, Tallulah is obsessed with the Formé dinner. As am I. I will never forget when I was in eighth grade and Cara Delevingne was photographed on the carpet before the dinner with her eyebrows, and she singlehandedly brought huge eyebrows back. I was like, thank God. [chuckles] Do mustaches next.
I remember, I tell Cara, I say, “One look at you, people will stop plucking forever.”
[Maia] And you’re so right.
I think I also said steal from the best.
[Maia] Mmhmm.
Like Balenciaga, yes?
[Alyssa] Ah.
[Antoine] [snapping] Geoffrey?
[Geoffrey] Oui?
Set up a meeting with Maia Simsbury and bag thief today.
[Geoffrey] D’accord.
[Alyssa] Oh, wow! Go, girl. [chuckles] Uh, Antoine, do you wanna go have a little chat in my office? I’d love to tell you the rest of our client roster.
[Antoine] Of course.
[Alyssa] Right this way.
[Antoine] Do you have any water, Alyssa?
[Alyssa] Uh, water?
[Antoine] With cucumber or…
[♪ upbeat music playing]
[phone line ringing]
[voicemail] It’s Tallulah. Can’t get to the phone right now, bitch. Just text me. [beep]
[Maia] Bitch, pick up your fucking phone. Our lives are going to change in a huge way.
[in French] And then my dad says, that’s not the dog’s asshole… that’s its pussy.
[both laughing]
Oh. [laughing] Here, we need to get a selfie, ’cause my dad is gonna die.
Yes!
[camera clicking] How is your dad, by the way?
Good, he and my mom are in London right now, on like a big anniversary trip.
Oh.
He is, like, addicted to CoolSculpting. Thank you.
And you tell him Dr. Ghasiri loved the signed poster of Noah’s Arkansas.
Of course.
Loves.
[Alani] [squeals] Ch-Ch-Ch-Charlie!
[shushing] Stop. Stop.
Ch-Ch-Ch-Charlie. Charlie Cohen!
Shut up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Like, stop.
Y… are you okay?
Are you serious?
What’s… let’s whisper.
You have nothing to be ashamed of.
I’m not ashamed, but just, let’s…
A hair transplant is maintenance.
Are you ashamed of, like, brushing your teeth in the morning?
Yes, that’s why I do it alone in my bathroom, not in a room full of every senior vice president of Netflix.
Well, I know you’ve been feeling down. That’s why sometimes you just gotta take a little hair from the back…
[both] And put it in the front.
[Alani] That’s what I’m saying. And I have a little surprise for you that’ll cheer you up. Check your texts.
Bitch. Mimi Rush eats shit on stage?
Ew! No, Charlie, she fell. I couldn’t watch it ’cause I get empathy pain so let me know when you go, ’cause I’m gonna…
You know, I’ve always thought driving was immoral. Thank you to the birthday boy for giving me a sh…
[loud, echoing crash]
[Mimi exclaiming]
That’s so… I can’t. Oh, my God.
It hurts so much to smile right now, but I can’t stop. Thank you.
Aw.
[both] I love you. I love you.
Would you like a hoodie and sunglasses? They’re free.
See this? I can’t stop winning.
[Tallulah] [sighs] Hi.
[both] Hi! Welcome home.
I missed you.
[Tessa] Maia, Maia, Maia.
[Maia] Hi. Finally. How was your guys’ weekend away?
So good.
Well, it wasn’t really a weekend away. We were just at my place in Mar Vista, which is LA.
[Maia] Yeah. No, technically, of course. So, Antoine meeting! So insane, right?
Yeah.
[Maia] If he likes you… and he will… can you imagine it? You, me, New York. You getting fitted by a fucking Parisian stylist? It’s so cool!
I don’t know, Maia. I’m honestly… I’m really tired from this weekend.
[Maia] You’re tired from vacation?
Well, it wasn’t just like vacation. Like, it was… it was a lot of driving, and like, I just… I don’t know if I’m up for it right now.
[Maia] Are you insane?
What?
[Maia] This is like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Yeah. I just think that we need to be smart about, like, my next move, ’cause like, you know? Ritz was a flop, Maia. It was embarrassing.
[Maia] Excuse me?
What?
[Maia] Ritz was not a flop, okay?
Yes, it was.
[Maia] I’m sorry I made you 100k.
[scoffs] We were just talking about my next steps, and, like, think it’s a good idea to, like, slow down and take a breath.
[Maia] “We”?
I was just telling Tully.
Yeah.
Like, in my line of work, you have to pause before you make a big move, right?
Yeah.
It’s like, shit doesn’t meet code, you get mold in the walls…
Right.
…and then you’re screwed, you know? It’s like, you don’t wanna rush it. Measure twice.
[both] Cut once.
[Tessa] It’s due diligence.
[Tallulah] Yeah.
I just wanna make sure we do due diligence.
[Tessa] Totally, yeah.
[Maia] Yeah, I do do a lot of fucking diligence… oh!
[both gasp]
[Tallulah] Oh, uh…
[Tessa] Oh, my God.
[Maia] Oh, my God!
[Tallulah] Alright.
[Maia] Ah! I can’t move my foot. Oh, my God, I’m fucking paralyzed.
[Tallulah] Oh, my God!
Should I pull it out?
I’m paralyzed.
Relax, you are not paralyzed.
Should I pull it out?
The knife is stuck to the floor.
Okay, so don’t pull it out.
I saw this in a kitchen once.
[Maia] Okay.
Um…
[Maia] So, it’s not that bad.
No, it is…
[Maia] This happened in a kitchen once.
It is definitely that bad. I’ll call an ambulance.
[Tallulah] Oh!
It’s fine.
I’ll call an ambulance.
[Maia] We’re not waiting for a fucking ambulance, Tallulah.
[Tessa] We have to.
You have to get clothes for the meeting, okay?
[Tallulah] Oh, God.
[Tessa] I don’t think you should do that.
[Maia] Ah!
No!
[breathing heavily] I’m gonna warm up my truck.
[♪ Classic rock music playing]
[Tallulah] Hello?
Hi.
Hey, girl!
I have a new head.
Okay, so Maia stabbed herself.
[Charlie] Ew, why?
You stabbed yourself? Like in the heart?
[Maia] No, no, in the foot.
Oh, okay. Well, I’m hurt too, FYI.
[Maia] Charlie, I need new clothes for the meeting, please.
[Charlie] Yeah, I should have something at the studio. I think you’re the same size as a little person I dressed for the Glass Onion premiere.
[Maia] Okay, I trust you.
Wait, wait, so what hospital are you guys going to?
UCLA.
Tessa says UCLA is best.
[Maia] Good Samaritan. It’s right by the Antoine meeting. We’ll go there. We’ll go to Good Samaritan.
Guys, the meeting does not matter right now. We need to… we’re gonna go to UCLA. She needs to fix her foot.
[Maia] Charlie? Charlie? Just, we’re going to Good Samaritan. Bring the clothes there. Bring the clothes to Good Samaritan.
Maia.
[Maia] We’re going to Good Samaritan!
Oh, God.
[Tallulah] Great, we’re almost there.
[Maia] Hopefully, they’re… we can just go right to the foot department and I’m sure we… it’ll go really quick.
[Tessa] Alright, alright.
[tires screeching]
[Maia] [grunting] Thank you for driving, Tessa.
[Tallulah] That was crazy.
Thank you so much for driving.
That was so nice of you.
Your friends are mine.
I’m gonna miss you.
Will you text me?
That was so fun this weekend, yeah.
Um, also, I was thinking that I can, like…
Yeah.
[Maia groaning]
…I can get like a surfboard, so that when I’m at your house…
You can put it on the patio!
Yes, and I could start practicing like…
[Maia] Tallulah!
[Tessa babbling]
[Maia] Tallulah!
Oh, my God, what am I doing? I got to go.
Sorry. Sorry.
[Maia] We’ll just do this really quick, and then maybe like…
Maia, we’re not talking about the meeting right now.
[Maia] I feel like they’ll have deodorant.
We’re at the hospital.
[Maia] I’m just saying, we can freshen up.
Okay.
Maybe we just tell ’em we have a meeting.
Yes, totally. Hi.
[wheelchair banging]
[Maia] Oh, my God!
Oh, I’m sorry, are you okay?
So, what happened here?
[Maia] Uh, sorry. Um, I… I had an accident because, uh, she was running late, and so…
Um, Maia.
[Maia] What?
That’s not why you had an accident, okay? And I… I wasn’t late. I literally showed up when you asked me to.
[Maia] Yeah, but you were coming from the West Side. If you weren’t coming from the West Side…
Why does that matter?
[Maia] …it wouldn’t have taken you an hour and a half.
[receptionist clearing throat]
[Maia] Um, I dropped a knife on my foot. I was opening her boxes.
Well, there wouldn’t have been boxes if you didn’t make me do an ad for gay crackers.
[Maia] Ritz is an American classic. Okay, it’s a blue-chip brand.
[Tallulah] Yeah.
[Maia] Everyone says that. [sighs] Um, we’re kind of in a rush. Do you know how long the wait is for foot stuff?
A few hours, we’re slammed. There was a bus accident. So, find a place to wait and we’ll call your name. Right now, people on the bus are our priority.
[Maia] Oh, my God. Did anybody die?
No, but a lot of broken bones and scared people.
[Maia] Okay.
[receptionist dialing phone]
[both] “Scared people”?
[Maia] [scoffs] I’m scared.
Like, calm down.
[Maia] I’m scared every day.
[Charlie humming]
Jesus!
Hello, Charlie.
Mimi.
You look… well.
What are you doing here?
I, um, wanted to pick up my antique French scoliosis corset.
I can’t really do this right now. I have to pull some clothes for my friend who stabbed herself, so.
You know, you’re a really awful person, Charlie. But you know how to be there for your girls.
That really means a lot to me, so.
I’ll be honest, I’m not here for some stupid corset. I’m not even here as Mimi Rush. I’m here as Mimi. [clearing throat] You, um, might have seen recently that I took a bit of a spill. [sucking air] Because I was wearing… An asymmetrical train. Yeah, I saw it. We all saw it. Mimi, like, why the fuck would your stylist put you in that?
He wants to rebrand me as a mermaid.
A merma… But your entire thing is alien. Like, your character is an alien that comes from a genderless planet, and she learned Earth culture from old VH1 broadcasts beamed into the sky.
[both] And our planet’s sun makes her more glamorous the longer she lives here.
Like, it’s simple. Like, who can fuck that up?
Well, he did. Anyway, he’s fired, clearly. Almost everyone is. There’s no one I can really trust. [sobbing softly]
[sighs] Mimi, Mimi, Mimi. I’m so sorry that happened to you. I think someone sent that to me.
Who?
Mm, I think a fan or something.
Did you make it?
Yeah.
It’s fucking mega.
[sighs]
What would you say if Mimi Rush hired you for being gay and Jewish?
Consider it. I’ve considered it. Hell yeah. [chuckles] [whispering] Ouch.
[chuckles softly]
[Maia] [sighs]
[patient coughing]
[Maia] Okay. Fuck this. We should just pretend that we were on that bus.
Totally.
[Maia] Like, we totally could have been, right?
Yeah, we could have been. That’s so true.
[Maia] I mean, like, we’re commuters, right? Oh, I think… yeah.
Okay.
[grunting]
Oh.
[people chattering]
[machine beeping]
[Maia] [sighs] [clearing throat] Okay.
So, it’s not a city bus, it’s a bus full of Orthodox kids.
[Maia] Yeah.
We’re done.
[Maia] No. Everybody thinks that I’m Jewish.
Oh, my God.
[Maia] Like, do you know how those guys come up to you on the street and they’re like, “Excuse me, Miss, are you Jewish?” That always happens to me. We just pretend.
Maia! No, okay? This is… maybe this is not the worst thing that could have happened. The knife, the bus accident. Like, this is the universe telling you to chill out for a second. It’s okay to miss one meeting.
[Maia] It’s not one meeting, okay? This is Formé. Do you remember when Addison was just making silly little TikToks? Or Emma Chamberlain was making vlogs? This dinner made them.
One dinner can do that?
[Maia] Yes. 100%. If you can pull a sick enough look, it changes the way people see you. And then, they’re not just like, “Oh, she makes fun TikToks.” It’s like, “Let’s give her a million dollars and a Reformation collab.” It’s not Ritz, okay?
Oh! Okay, so you admit Ritz was a flop?
[Maia] No. Didn’t say that. Ritz was not a flop. It was less elevated than other more elevated jobs.
Also known as a flop. Why can’t you just admit that you made a mistake? It’s fine.
[Maia] Okay.
People make mistakes all the time.
[Maia] I am sorry if how you were perceived made the job that I booked for you uncomfortable, even though I made you $100,000.
Mm. No.
[Maia] Okay, it was a fucking flop. It was a huge flop. Officer Flop, okay? It sucked. It fucking sucked. It was bad for gay people. It was bad for crackers. It was a disaster, alright? I am sorry. But this is different, okay? Antoine has the power to change your life. Both of our lives. Now, go find Charlie and Alani and bring them back with my clothes.
Go be Jewish.
[Maia] [whispering] I will.
The outfit helps.
[Maia] Thank you.
[Maia] Hey, there. Hi.
Hey. Hi.
[Maia] Shalom. Um, I was on the bus. I was one of the teachers.
Oh. We have one of the teachers!
[Maia] Hi, good to see you guys again.
[doctor] So sorry about the accident.
[Maia] Yeah.
Must have been terrifying.
[Maia] Thank you. I was just scared for my students. Um… oh, my God, that fucking kills. [exclaiming]
You are very lucky. You just missed an artery.
[Maia] Huh!
Let’s give it 30 for the local anesthetic to take effect.
[Maia] Thirty? No, no, no. Let’s just do the stitches now. I can handle it, I promise. I’m… I’m ready.
[phone buzzing]
[Maia] Oh, God, I have to take this. Alyssa! Hi!
[Alyssa] Hey, boo.
[Maia] Um, Tallulah and I are on our way. We are so close, and we’re super excited.
[Alyssa] I’m so sorry. I just found out Antoine has to go back to Paris early tomorrow, so he’s canceling your meeting.
[Maia] Wait, what? No, can I just call him?
[Alyssa] No, it doesn’t work that way. But we’ll get something set for next year. It’s all a conversation. More soon.
[Maia] Next year? Oh, my God! Fucking Jesus Christ!
[doctor] Mmhmm.
Every fucking hallway looks the same. It’s, like, dangerous to make hospitals this confusing.
[Charlie] Yeah.
No, I know, this is why I only meet doctors in hotel rooms.
[Maia] Oh, my God!
It’s way safer.
Wait, guys. You hear that?
[Maia] [faintly] Oh, my God! Fuck!
Maia.
[Alani] Oh, my God.
Oh! Oh, shit.
[Charlie] Oh! Oh.
[Alani] Oh. Oh, my Shayla.
Maia.
[Charlie] Baby. My bloody angel.
[Tallulah] Are you okay?
[Maia] Yeah.
I’m so sorry we took so long. We got lost. But then we followed your “oh, my Gods.”
[Maia] Oh, my God. [laughing] Charlie, your head!
You like it? Yeah, I look like a Serbian electrician. I’m really happy with the results. Oh, here’s your dress.
[Maia] Thank you, but I don’t need it anymore.
[Alani] What?
[Maia] Yeah, Alyssa called. Antoine’s flight got changed and he canceled our meeting.
What?
[Charlie] The fuck?
[Maia] Yeah. No.
Are you fucking kidding me?
What do we do?
[Maia] I don’t… I don’t know.
What do you mean?
[Maia] I don’t know.
Like, you don’t know?
[Maia] Yeah, I mean, I just had fucking open-toe surgery, and I need to think on my feet. That’s why I’m always, like, pacing around all the time. Here, hold on. Let me get up and…
[Alani] Right now?
Are you sure?
[Maia] I gotta pace to think.
Oh, my God.
[Tallulah] Get something.
Just like pace with grace.
[Maia] Okay.
Okay, let her go.
[Tallulah groaning]
Guys, what if we, like, hack his Google Calendars and then guess his password?
How tall is his dad?
Well, if you need to get to his calendar, you need to go to his assistant.
You want help?
Like, Mimi’s assistant literally knows when she has to shit before Mimi does.
[Maia] Oh, my God.
What?
[Maia] Courtney.
Okay, she actually kinda turned out to be like a sleeper hit, but…
[line ringing]
[Maia] Court?
[Courtney] Hey!
[Maia] Um, I have a question.
Oh!
[Maia] Uh, seemed like you were really hitting it off with Geoffrey.
Yeah.
[Maia] [chuckles] I have a favor to ask. I need a little bit of intel.
Yeah. Good?
[Alani] Ooh.
[Charlie] She’s good. She’s good, let’s go.
[Maia] Uh-huh.
Miss Simsbury, wait. You absolutely cannot walk on that injury.
[Maia] Uh, hold on one second. Sir, I’m done waiting.
I’m just telling you not to put pressure on the injury, otherwise you could get an infection. You’d risk losing the toe. I wouldn’t be able to reattach it, do you understand?
[Maia] Yeah. But I need to get Tallulah to New York. Fuck the toe.
Hey, read the room, honey. No one cares about toes.
[Maia] Thank you so much.
[Charlie] Bye.
[Maia] Good luck, you guys.
I hope you get better!
[Maia] It’s gonna be okay.
Wig!
[♪ “Fame” by David Bowie playing]
[Maia] Oh. There’s Antoine.
Oh. [gasps]
[Maia] That’s Alyssa. Oh, my God. She lied to us. She took our fucking meeting. Fucking bitch. [scoffs] Okay, we are going in.
[people chattering]
[Antoine] Yes, of course.
It should be up on the ledger…
[Maia] Alyssa? Oh, my God!
[Alyssa] [gasps] Maia!
[Maia] And Antoine! Amazing! So fun.
It’s your little nesting doll.
Uh…
[Maia] What are you guys up to? What are you talking about?
Alyssa won’t stop talking about Camilia, Camilia, Camilia.
[Alyssa chuckles]
Hi, Tallulah.
[Maia] Antoine, this is my client, Tallulah Stiel.
Ah, bag thief in the flesh! I was so disappointed…
Oh!
…you had to cancel our meeting. I guess this is fate!
[Maia] Yeah, I think it was just a scheduling mix-up. Well, we’re here now. We’ll sit with you.
[Antoine] Yes, please!
[Alyssa] Oh!
Alyssa, make room. Make room. Please, pull up a chair.
Mm.
[waiter] Hi.
Hi.
Unfortunately, this table can’t seat four.
Oh. Aw.
[Antoine] That’s bizarre. It seems to be seating four right now.
[Tallulah] Thank you.
[Antoine] Americans love rules.
[Maia chuckles]
[Antoine] [scoffs] Only two people at a table. You can’t smoke in museums.
[Maia] Yeah.
[Antoine] If your secretary dresses nice, you can’t kiss her on the mouth.
[Maia] [chuckles] God, I hate that.
[Antoine] [sighs] You know, fashion used to be about breaking rules.
[Maia] Yeah. I totally agree. You know…
[plates clattering]
[Maia] I actually dropped a steak knife on my foot today. Doctor said I would lose a toe if I came here. But I don’t care. That’s how much I believed you needed to meet Tallulah.
[Alyssa] Maia. [scoffs]
[Tallulah] It’s true. He tried to give her pills, but she literally wouldn’t take any.
[Maia] [sipping loudly] Oh, it hurts so bad. Sorry, all I had to eat today was a Ritz cracker, and this “martooni” is hitting.
Maia, I think you should leave.
[Maia] Mm.
What?
[Antoine] No, your little nesting doll is insane, and I love it. Finally, Americans who aren’t boring.
[wincing]
[chuckles]
[Antoine] Maia, Tallulah, you must come to the dinner. You will be in New York, yes?
[Maia] Yeah.
[Antoine] We will have fun, go crazy. We can dress Tallulah.
[Maia] Yeah. Yes, amazing! We’ll be there.
[patting table]
[Antoine] Super. Okay, now I have to go. [sighs] I have to go to Kristen Stewart’s house for homemade sushi. [groaning] Tallulah, do you want to come? We can talk designers.
That sounds amazing.
What about Camilia-TK?
[Maia] [Maia] Next year. It’s a conversation. We’ll keep talking. [kiss smacking] Coocoo.
Worth losing the toe.
[Maia] Duh. Don’t even use it.
[squealing softly]
[chuckles]
[Antoine] Tallulah, you’re not pregnant, are you? Because she make you eat the sushi.
[Alyssa] Maia, that was totally out of line. I pay your salary, not Tallulah.
[Maia] Okay, well… Tallulah’s right for the dinner. Antoine just said so.
[Alyssa] He’s a French alcoholic. He will like who he’s tricked into liking. It’s Camilia-TK’s turn. I had a plan, and you… you just stomped your fucking bloody foot all over it.
[Maia] I was taking initiative. You lied and said he canceled our meeting.
[Alyssa] Maia, this isn’t Girl Scouts, okay? I don’t have a responsibility to tell my employees everything I’m thinking. I was putting the company first, which is what you need to be doing if you wanna continue working here. Are you able to do that?
[Maia] Uh… No. No, I… I’m always gonna do what’s right for my client.
[Alyssa] Then, I have to let you go.
[Maia] Fine. Great. [scoffs]
[Alyssa] [scoffs] You are so impatient and ungrateful. You’re in such a hurry for more, you don’t even realize what you have in front of you. But you have fun with your little friend.
[Maia] Yeah, I’m sure I will.
[Maia] [sighs] Oh, my God. Dyl?
[utensils scraping]
[Maia] I just had the craziest da… Oh. [gasps] Oh, my God, Dylan! The shelf looks so good.
[Dylan] Yeah, uh, my dad helped me put it up.
[Maia] Oh, my God. Dyl, fuck. Your parents. I totally forgot.
[Dylan] Don’t worry about it. I… I just lied to ’em and told ’em you had an emergency, so it’s fine.
[Maia] I did.
[Dylan] Yeah?
[Maia] I dropped a knife on my foot, I went to the emergency room.
[Dylan] Are you okay? Wh… why didn’t you call me?
[Maia] I… well, I was with Charlie and Alani and Tallulah.
[Dylan] [chuckles] Okay.
[Maia] What?
[Dylan] Okay. [scoffs] Cool, Maia. [stammers] That’s fucking insane. You… you went to the hospital and you called everyone you know except for me? Like…
[Maia] I… I didn’t have my phone the whole time. And I… there was, like, a huge wait in the ER, and then I had to pretend to be Jewish, which wasn’t that hard. [chuckles] And then, we had to, like, rush to this drinks thing.
[Dylan] You went to a fucking drinks thing?
[Maia] It was for work. And then, I got fired, which was crazy but, like, I don’t know. I kind of feel like i-it’s meant to be.
[Dylan] You know, I… I was, like, expecting some kind of text from you giving me an excuse for why you canceled dinner, but, like, I’m just a little bit… my mind is blown that I didn’t even cross your mind, you know?
[Maia] I’m sorry, it was just, like, so hectic and… But, we got an invite to the Formé dinner.
[Dylan] [scoffs] I’m so mad that I know what that is. I ca… I can’t. I can’t. I… you… you realize that you fucking are so different ever since Tallulah got here?
[Maia] Wait, this is about Tallulah? She’s my best friend.
[Dylan] No, no, it’s… it’s not about Tallulah, Maia. It’s about… it’s about fucking everything. Like, the whole thing the other night, the… fucking game night, the whole show you put on was, like, out of fucking control.
[Maia] I thought that we had fun after.
[Dylan] You didn’t even fuck me, you know that, right? You were, like, somewhere else in your mind, like, not even thinking.
[Maia] What are you talking about?
[Dylan] Maia, when’s… when’s the last time that we actually did something I wanted to do? Like, really? Like, when’s the last time that on… on a Saturday, we just, like, slept in, the two of us, and you didn’t just take off to go be with your friends?
[Maia] I have stuff in the morning.
[Dylan] I care about everything that’s happening in your world, and not because you ask me to do it, because I actually fucking care. Because I’m interested, because I love you.
[Maia] I love you. I care about you so much.
[Dylan] Name one person I work with who isn’t Clare.
[Maia] Um… Bert?
[Dylan] Bert.
[keys jingling]
[Maia] Dylan, wait.
[Dylan] Maia, Maia, Maia.
[Maia] Stop. Stop. Okay. I’m sorry that I don’t memorize your coworkers’ names.
[Dylan] It’s not…
[Maia] Okay? I’m trying to build a future for both of us. And I feel like I have one shot, and if I don’t take it, I’m gonna miss it, and I-I just have to go all in on it. And I’m only able to do that because you do such a good job of holding everything down here. [sobbing] Like, I don’t know. I just want a big life. I thought that you loved that about me. [sobbing]
[Dylan] Yeah, I don’t… I don’t know. I don’t know anymore, Maia, it’s just… it’s… It just kinda feels like the bigger your life is getting, the smaller I’m getting. Maia. Maia.
[sobbing, sniffling]
[Dylan] I want you to go to New York. Okay? Just have a great time. I just… I need… I need some space, alright? I need some space.
[Maia] You want space from me.
[Dylan] I… I just…
[keys jingling]
[Dylan] Maia, I think we need to take a break. Okay, and we can talk when you get back from your big dinner and everything but, yeah, I need… I need some space, so I’m… I’m gonna go stay at… at Berthume’s, okay?
[Maia] [sobbing] At fucking Berthume’s?
[♪ “Oh Baby” by LCD Soundsystem playing]
[Maia] That’s what I said!
♪ Oh, baby ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪
♪ You’re having
a bad dream ♪
♪ Here in my arms ♪
♪ Oh, sugar ♪
♪ Give in to me ♪
♪ You’re just having
a bad dream ♪
♪ Of raining lungs ♪
♪ Oh, but please ♪
♪ Please shake me ♪
♪ From my lovesick
patient dream ♪
♪ Please, baby, please ♪
♪ And my love plays
wait and see ♪
