I Love LA
Created by: Rachel Sennott
Stars: Rachel Sennott (Maia), Odessa A’zion (Tallulah), True Whitaker (Alani), Jordan Firstman (Charlie), Josh Hutcherson (Dylan)
Premise: A codependent friend group reunites, navigating how the time apart, ambition, and new relationships have changed them.
Season 1 – Episode 4
Episode title: Upstairses
Original release date: November 23, 2025 (HBO)
Episode plot: At a party, Maia and Alani have a once-in-a-lifetime encounter, Tallulah gets roped into making content, and Charlie meets someone new.
* * *
I Love LA – S01E04 – Upstairses | Full transcript
[♪ pop music playing]
[Tallulah] Baleciaga said they sent the bag, so I know
[camera clicking]
[Tallulah gasps]
Oh, my fucking God, are you serious?
[clapping] Wow!
Cute.
[Alani] Oh, my God.
It’s beautiful.
Should I bring it?
Absolutely, Quen will love that bag.
And
and you can put your stuff in it.
Quen just posted a video in that bag…
[Tallulah] Wait, really?
…where she, like, trips and falls and breaks her tooth, it’s so funny.
I’m excited.
Hold on, let me find it.
Maybe you can just text us when you do find it, and we can watch it on our own time.
We have to do a good job at this party.
[Charlie] Do we?
[Maia] This is, like, a huge opportunity for us.
We could level up.
[Tallulah] Maia, relax.
[Maia] I’m just saying, she’s one of the LA “it” girls.
[Tallulah] Yeah, I know, but like, it’s just a party, and she’s, like, my kind of people.
Like, I’m feeling we’re gonna be best friends right away.
Yeah, I mean, you’re like, internet friends.
Yeah.
Like, you don’t know if you’ll be real best friends.
Right.
You know, that’s like, years of building.
I mean, we could be though.
Totally.
I’m just excited.
You just don’t know what she’s like.
Um, okay, I was thinking maybe we could send the PR stuff to Alani’s, if you’re cool with that, instead of here?
Oh, I justI’m living there right now, and I just don’t want people to know my address.
I just feel like I’m gonna have a stalker really soon.
So then, what, the stalker’s just gonna come to my house?
No, Maia, they don’t care about you, you’re fine.
[Alani]
You have to be careful.
Like, once a stalker has your address, it’s game over.
I’m so serious.
There’s this lady who still thinks my dad lives at my house.
Every single week, she sends a fucking envelope with a bullet in it to my fucking house.
[Charlie and Tallulah] What?
[Alani] Yeah, yeah.
Oh!
[Charlie] Dylan!
Hey, hey.
[all cheering] I was in the other room, like, the entire time.
Just grabbing a layer.
Hi, baby.
[Charlie growling]
[Tallulah] Are you scared someone’s gonna fuck your sexy girlfriend?
We have an open flirting policy.
Dylan’s very secure.
Very secure.
I-I’m very secure.
[Tallulah] Oh, okay.
I’m also very secure with not going to some influencer’s, like, mansion party thing.
Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, my love.
She’s not some influencer.
It’s Quenlin fucking Blackwell.
[Alani] Mm.
Like, learn celebrities’ names, please.
And it’s not even at her house.
It’s at an undisclosed location.
They’re sending us the address an hour before.
Very exclusive.
Like 8020 ratio, famous to not famous, so.
Okay, you need to get dressed.
Ooh. Okay.
[Dylan] Oh.
Oh, uh, I’m gonna go, baby.
I love you, baby, be safe.
[all] Bye, Dylan.
[Alani] Love you.
I love you.
[phone dings]
Oh.
[Charlie] I love you!
[Dylan] Love you.
[Charlie] Thank you.
[Alani shrieks]
[Tallulah] It’s the address.
I knew it.
Wait, what the fuck?
[Maia and Alani] What?
The party’s at Elijah Wood’s house.
What?
[Maia] So weird.
[Charlie] So fucking random.
[chuckles]
[Tallulah] What?
[Charlie] Is Quen fucking Elijah Wood?
E-Elijah Wood from Lord of the Rings, or…
Yeah, that’s-that’s the one.
[gasps]
[Charlie] Like what?
[glass breaks]
[Maia] Oh, my God!
What the fuck?
[Tallulah] Oh, my God.
[Maia] Alani!
I’m fine. I know, I’m fine.
This is-this is a lot for me.
Get fucking dressed, let’s go!
Let’s go.
The fuck?
[♪ electronic music playing]
Wow. Oh, my God.
[Charlie] Okay, Elijah.
Got that North money.
[Alani gasps]
Got that Good Son paper.
I see you.
Right.
Okay, Charlie, did you just google him?
100%. His IMDB is robust.
[Maia] Tallulah?
Yeah?
I was thinking you should…
Hi!
…totally make a TikTok with Quen.
Okay.
But like, don’t ask her.
You don’t wanna seem desperate.
Right.
There’s like this rule in LA that you can’t ask a more famous person to make a TikTok with you.
Just like, let her take the lead because it’s her party.
[Tallulah] Right, I mean, I think you might be overthinking it a little bit.
We’ve been DMing for weeks.
We’re friends.
Right, because she likes your videos.
Like, she liked the Paulena video.
And she thinks I’m cool.
Right, because of our video.
Oh, my God, look at that house, too.
You guys, it’s actually, like, shocking that Elijah Wood managed to, like, end up psychologically unscathed somehow, being a child actor.
Like, I have no proof to back this up, but I do feel like every child actor was severely molested.
I agree.
He did not get molested.
Take that fucking back.
Charlie, what the fuck is wrong with you?
You know I don’t take things back, Alani.
I can’t take that back.
I’m sorry.
I know I’m, like, being weird.
I just-I have such a crush on him, and we almost hooked up this one time in college.
Wait, what?
Yeah.
Maia knows. We had this, like, love connection that happened.
They had this moment.
It was brief, but it was really powerful.
He did a Q&A for our acting class, and Alani asked him about Lord of the Rings. Basically, like, they make the furniture big so he looks small.
Shut up!
[Charlie] Oh!
[Alani shrieks]
No way you came, girl.
There she is.
Of course, I came.
And look at this bitch.
Hi.
Hi.
How are you?
[Charlie] Hi.
[Quen] Good.
[Tallulah] It’s so nice to finally meet you.
[Quen]
It’s nice to meet you.
[indistinct chatter]
[Quen]
I knew we were gonna vibe the second I saw that video.
Really?
Yes!
Like, “Your ugly shit’s funded by centuries of blood money.”
[Maia chuckles]
That’s what I said.
It was fucking iconic.
[Maia] Thank you so much.
We worked so hard on that.
So, it was crazy, ’cause first, they were gonna have us apologize.
Well, I just
I was
But then, I was like, at this bake sale
[Tallulah] I–
Maia, I was, like, really pissed off, so I just grabbed my phone and I started talklike, I needed to defend myself.
Of course, yeah.
And you two work together?
[Maia] Yes.
Yeah.
I am her manager at Alyssa180.
180.
Why is it called 180?
Why is it not, like, 360?
Totally.
So, Alyssa will take your career in the opposite direction of where it’s headed, which is the wrong direction.
Okay, well, um, there is more drinks outside. It’s lowkey.
Elijah didn’t want, like, 1,000 randos in his house.
I hate randos.
Yeah, it’s the worst.
So is he, like, around tonight?
No, he’s not home.
He’s not like a big parties guy, I don’t know what it’s about.
It’s-it’s cool.
It’s chill. I’m chilling.
But make yourselves comfortable.
Anywhere downstairs.
Downstairs.
Okay.
[Quen] Yes.
Got it. Downstairs, you guys.
We’ll keep it downstairs.
Quen.
You have to hit this.
Tallulah, you have to meet Naomi.
What? Okay.
Come on.
And should I, too, meet her?
[Tallulah] Naomi?
Is that the bag girl?
Me?
Yes.
Yes!
I’m the bag bitch.
[Naomi and Quen laughing]
Um…
[Charlie muttering]
Charlie? Charlie?
Hey!
Hey.
He’s sort of waving me away.
[Alani] Hey!
Um…
Okay, maybe we do a lap?
Okay.
Yeah, a lap is good.
I’m freaking out, girl.
I’m freaking out.
[shrieks]
It’s a nice place.
This is Elijah Wood’s kitchen counter.
Oh, hot!
Oh, my God, of course.
And this is his coaster, which I should be using, ’cause I respect him.
Wait.
We’re never gonna be back here.
I feel like we should snoop.
I like to snoop.
[squealing softly]
Have you booked anything since the Paulena vid?
No, but Balenciaga did send me this bag, so.
Ooh!
Oh!
What are you trying to be?
What do you mean?
Like a fashion girl?
Um, yeah!
[Quen exclaiming]
Why not?
[laughing]
What other brands is Maia talking to?
So like, I don’t know, like, specifically.
Mmhmm. Mm.
But probably a lot, you know.
I mean, she did get me the bag.
[Naomi giggling]
Come on. Hello?
Did she?
Yeah, she got
I mean, yeah.
Like, did she get you the bag or did your sweat get you the bag?
Mmhmm.
We’re the talent, honey.
Tea.
[chuckles] Yeah.
Mm.
Um…
Wait, I swear to God, I saw a shrimp on a tray earlier, and I’m so fucking hungry.
We have to record a video together.
Oh, my God, yeah.
When
literally, whenever.
How ’bout now?
Like, right now?
Yeah, we’ll go do the video and then we’ll get you some shrimp.
Unless you need to go text your manager first.
No. That sounds like a winwin to me.
Okay, yay!
Two birds, one stone.
I’m hungry as fuck.
I love this.
[Quen] Sick.
[Tallulah] Yeah.
This iconic collab!
Yeah!
Wait, leave your drinks here.
Let’s go upstairs.
[Alani] [whispering]
It’s gorgeous.
Wait, okay, Elijah has amazing taste.
I know, it’s gorgeous.
It’s like a bigass sauna.
Stunning.
Oh, my God. Let’s go upstairs.
Wait, no, Alani.
There’s a sign.
We can’t.
[Alani] Oh yeah, it’s fine.
Come on, we won’t
I know, but I feel like Elijah has, like, cameras everywhere.
What if he comes home and sees the footage, jerks off?
To us?
That sounds awesome.
What the fuck are you talking about? Come on.
Okay, that sounds kinda awesome.
[Alani squeals quietly]
[Maia] I never break the rules.
Okay, okay, butbut seriously, seri-what’s your-what’s your favorite part about LA so far?
Actually, it’s the people.
The people here are just amazing.
And they say people here in LA are fake.
I don’t think that’s true.
[chuckles] Everyone’s been so nice.
I mean, example number one.
Stop. Stop.
Standing right in front of me, right?
You’re gonna make me blush, seriously.
But, you know, the people here are, like, so creative, too.
Like, like this jacket?
I mean, it… what?
[chuckles]
It looks like a painting or something.
Like, where’d you even get something like this?
It’s, um, it’s ERL.
Cool, it’s like
so you just, like, get that in a store?
Or online.
[chuckles] You know, anywhere you buy clothes, really.
Or you could steal it from me.
You could beat me up and steal it! [chuckles] I wouldn’t mind.
Beat the shit outta me.
Oh, no, I-I wouldn’t do that.
I know.
Yeah.
I know.
How’s your drink doing, by the way?
You know, itit needs ice, I think.
Yeah, same.
Yeah.
Uh, should we go find some?
I already checked.
[sighs]
Just couldn’t find any.
It just wasn’t there, it wasn’t available.
Oh, you know what?
My car’s out front.
Mm.
You wanna go?
Yeah, we can get some ice.
Let’s do that, let’s get some ice.
Okay.
[laughs] I wonder if Elijah has, like, a giftwrapping room.
‘Cause he’s so generous.
Celebrities have, like, the best upstairses.
I know, but the upstairses is where the Diddy stuff happened.
[under breath] Please.
We have to be careful.
[Alani squealing softly]
You’ll spend the long, hot days by my side, won’t you?
[gasps] Oh, my.
[Milhouse] I think I lost my glasses in your pool.
I better go in and find them.
Wait, oh, my God, sorry.
[Bart] You’re wearing your glasses.
[door closes]
Wait, Alani.
No, he looked so peaceful in there.
We need to go back downstairs.
Why are you being so weird?
This is your celebrity crush.
Famous people make me really nervous, dude.
I can’t do this.
What are you talking about?
Robert De Niro taught you how to swim.
Dude, that’s so different.
He’s just my dad’s friend who’s, like, good at swimming.
He was in Shark Tale. Alani, this is the universe giving you another chance.
We’re not gonna run into him again for, like, another seven years.
[sighs] And by then, I’m gonna be old and living on the West Side.
[whispering] Okay.
[whispering] Let’s do this.
[Bart] Milhouse.
[Milhouse] Uh, hi, Bart.
[whispering] Okay.
Let’s get that Wood.
[door closes]
[Bart] You’ll spend the long, hot days by my–
[TV turning off]
[Maia] Hey.
Hey. Hi, I’m Elijah.
Hi, um, I’m Maia.
This is my friend, Alani.
Cool.
Have you guys ever seen The Simpsons? Oh. Yeah, totally.
It’s that yellow family, right?
[car door closes]
[sighs] Oh, by the way, I’m totally good to drive to the gas station for ice.
I’m on this acne medication right now, so I can’t drink.
I was just having Kid Cudi’s N.A. mezcal.
Mm. But that’s the, uh, only N.A. mezcal that’s distilled in Cleveland, right?
Yeah, you know, I think I read that somewhere.
Yeah.
[both laughing] That’s so cool that you keep up with…
Oh.
[chuckles] Oh, hey.
Shoot. I’m so sorry.
[chuckles]
Uh… shoot.
No, itLike, this happens a lot.
It’s, um…
What, what?
You have like a fucking boyfriend or something?
[chuckles] I’m not gay.
I’m Catholic.
What?
Yeah, this has kind of happened to me before, you know?
Because of my faith, I’m just super openhearted, and a lot of people interpret that as being a gay guy who wants to get married to a man and settle downYeah, no, no, gay people aren’t openhearted.
I… [laughing] Fucking…
It was, no, more, because you were touching my chest, arms, and body, and, you know, asking me if I wanted to go leave the party with you.
Yeah.
That’s maybe why I thought…
To get ice, ’cause our drinks were getting warm.
Anyway.
[seatbelt zipping, clicking]
[chuckles]
Oh, and maybe while we’re there, we can get bananas, so I can take my big pill.
GPS says it’s 37 minutes away.
Wow, we’re really in those hills, huh?
Gosh, it’s so nice making friends in LA.
[Elijah] Oh, man!
We gotta watch the liquor store scene from Superbad. I love clips.
Superbad, liquor store scene.
[gasps]
Oh, I remember this part.
His ID says McLovin, right?
How did you do that?
HHow did you know the part before it happened?
Is this your favorite film?
Uh, no, I just saw it once when I was younger.
And you just remember what the ID says?
Yeah.
God, I wish I could do that.
I have such bad memory.
It’s something I really struggle with.
Elijah, that must be, like, really hard for you, ’cause you have so many words to, like, remember for your job.
Oh, lines I can remember, no problem.
“Hi, I’m Frodo Baggins.”
See?
That was great.
It’s everything else that I don’t have room for.
[Maia] Totally.
I’m like that way with trees.
I don’t know what any of them are called.
You know, I
I met Jonah Hill once at a dinner.
So nice.
[chuckles] He’s not funny like in his films, but really smart.
Is that how you, like, meet people?
Through the actor community?
Yeah, how do you mostly meet people?
Oh, I don’t know.
I-It’s hard to make friends, because I don’t do well in big groups.
There’s so many names to remember.
Mm.
But I love a trio.
So, this is perfect.
[♪ mysterious music playing]
[gasps]
What?
You just have this, like, set up here?
Yeah.
This is kind of amazing.
Hi.
Are these your friends?
No, they’re my TikTok guys.
Ooh, TikTok guys.
Yes.
That’s fun.
[exclaiming, laughing]
Can you play the song again so I can get the vibe?
Yeah.
♪ Stacking the days
to sever myself ♪
♪ Months become years ♪
Really? This is so bad.
It’s really bad, it’s really bad.
We could find something better.
But people are obsessed with it.
Really?
Can you show her?
Oh. Yeah, uh…
[music stops]
There you go.
Oh, wow.
This is the new Landry single.
It blew up first in the Midwest with the…
Mmhmm. Mmhmm.
…kiss-your-fiancée-at-the-dock trend.
But now, there’s a remix that’s huge in Brazil.
[Tallulah] Okay.
Which means it’s gonna be huge everywhere.
Got it.
Okay, let’s run it through
with the Meryl Streep scene.
Okay.
Um, what’s it from?
Uh, Kramer vs. Kramer.
Are you kidding me?
I fucking love Kramer vs. Kramer.
Me too, like…
Okay, ready?
[Dustin Hoffman]
Where you going? Come on. Just tell me what I did, that’s all. Just tell me what I did that’s so terrible.
[Meryl Streep] It’s not you.
[Dustin] Then, what is it?
[Meryl]
It’s me, it’s my fault. You just married the wrong person, that’s all.
So, do you have your line?
[assistant] Camera’s set.
Okay, ready.
Okay, go.
[Dustin] Where you going?
Come on. Just tell me what I did, that’s all. Just tell me what I did that’s so terrible.
[Meryl] No, it’s not you.
[Dustin] Then, what is it?
[Meryl]
It’s me, it’s my fault. You just married the wrong person, that’s all.
[Dustin] Where you going? Come on, just tell me what I did, that’s all. Just tell me what I did that’s so terrible.
[Meryl] It’s not you.
[Dustin] Then, what is it?
[Meryl]
It’s me, it’s my fault. You just married the wrong person, that’s all.
[squealing]
It’s so good!
Maia’s gonna freak.
[laughing]
[sighs] Do…
Let’s switch outfits.
What?
I don’t know.
I’m just, like, looking at it and the colors aren’t popping.
It needs to pop.
[assistant]
High contrasts and neons are more likely to stop people from scrolling.
[Quen] Mmhmm.
Um…
What if we were nurses?
Is it too much?
No, that’s…
I have options.
Naomi!
[door opens]
Yes, mama?
Sorry, I was in the…
I was in the
I was in the bathroom.
I need you to pick us out some new outfits.
Okay.
This has to be perfect.
Okay.
Like, we’ll just keep doing it—until we get it right.
Totally.
We’ll do, like, nurses, fuck around with that, and then we can go get some shrimp.
What?
Oh, ’cause before when we were outside, you said that after the video.
I never said there was shrimp.
Okay.
[Quen and Naomi chuckle]
[quiet party chatter]
[Elijah]
Okay, maybe I’m stoned, but… as soon as you guys opened the door, I knew you’d known each other for a long time.
Because you look alike.
Does that make sense?
Totally.
We’ve gotten that before.
Yeah.
[Elijah chuckles softly] You know, Elijah, Alani and I both went to NYU, and you actually did a Q&A for our acting class, and you called on Alani, and you guys had this whole backandforth.
It was-it was really cute.
[Alani giggles]
Oh, my God.
We’ve met?
Oh.
Alani, I feel so bad.
No.
What, you shouldn’t.
It was-it was like brief asI don’t even
When did that happen?
But I hate that about myself.
Like, you remember but I don’t.
Uh, it was super quick, like, and you were really, really nice.
There’s no reason for you to remember.
Hey, I’m not better than you.
Okay.
I’m gonna make myself remember.
Do you know what a memory palace is?
First, you imagine a place you know really well.
For me, it’s the home I grew up in.
[whispering] Bag End.
And then, you put important things in specific rooms, and you put them with something really memorable.
That’s so cool.
I’ll show you.
Like… what’s my business manager’s son’s name?
Shoot.
I don’t know.
No, I know.
I just have to find it.
Okay.
I’m walking up the stairs.
Now, I’m in the back bedroom.
I’m opening the door.
And there’s the Queen of England playing guitar, and she’s wearing a shirt that says…
Cole!
[snapping] His name is Cole.
Wow, that
that wasthat was fucking cool.
Yes, that was so cool. Cole.
Wait, h-hold on.
Now, you guys are in my palace.
I’m gonna put you in… the sunroom, so I’ll always remember tonight.
Oh.
Where are my manners?
You guys don’t have to sit on the floor.
You’re welcome to sit on the bed.
Oh. Chill.
But you have to put on robes.
No street clothes on the bed.
There are robes in my bathroom, if you wanna put them on.
It’s up to you.
Well, should… do we… should
[Alani] Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, if we
Is everything cool?
I can go back dow—yeah.
Oh, okay, so you’re a stylist.
That makes so much sense.
That explains the jacket.
Like, where else would you even get a jacket like that?
At the store, like I said.
Okay, dumb question, but how does being a stylist work?
Like, do you work with lots of people or just one big person?
I’m, uh, freelance.
[door bell chiming]
So, every week is a fun, new, exciting challenge.
Okay, I think just, like, two bags is fine.
Let’s get back to the party.
Are we sure that’s enough though?
Just ’cause, I don’t know, I don’t drink, but like… how many ice cubes does one drink even have?
Like, five? Ten?
I don’t
I’m just realizing I’ve never counted, ’cause when you put it in, it’s so quick.
Okay, yeah, let’s get three.
Three is perfect.
Okay. Perfect.
Perfect amount of ice for the party we’re gonna go back to and meet lots of new people.
Yeah.
[grunting]
[door bell chiming]
[customer] Hi!
[giggling]
Sorry, um, Lukas, can we get a selfie?
Of course, oh, my gosh.
[squealing] Uh, let’s just do one real quick, yeah?
Okay. Come on.
Ready?
Three, two, one.
[camera clicking]
Okay, perfect.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Thank you. That’s for us.
[fans squealing]
Thank you!
What the fuck was that?
It’s kind of embarrassing, but I’m a bit of a singer.
[chuckles]
I just go by Landry, which is my last name.
It was mostly a thing with Christian girls on TikTok, but now it’s kind of going more wide.
Uh, how… how wide?
Um…
I’ve got about, like, 4 million on TikTok.
But it’s hard to keep track ’cause the number just keeps going up.
I have this one video that has 66.7 million likes on it, so that’s pretty cool.
[chuckles]
You know what?
We gotta get you that banana.
Oh, my God.
[squealing quietly]
Alani, are we about to have our first threeway ever with Elijah Wood?
Oh, wwait.
What about Dylan?
Okay, good point.
Let me text him.
Oh, my God.
Tallulah’s texting me asking me where to get shrimp.
It’s like, girl, get your own.
Girl, please. Yeah, oh, my God.
I’m gonna get my own shrimp.
Yep.
[text whooshing]
Oh, my God, yes!
[squealing]
Dylan says yes. I love him.
Okay. Okay.
[text whooshing]
[sighs] Okay, wait, he’s being weirdly specific about why he says yes.
[text whooshing]
Okay, he needs you to do,
like, the penetration stuff.
No, I got it.
That’s what I’m here for.
[text whooshing] Fuck!
What?
Okay, ultimately, it’s a yes.
You know what?
I feel like it’d be weird to have our first kiss, like, in front of Elijah.
Do you feel me?
Totally.
Let’s do it.
Okay.
[exhales sharply]
One, two, three.
Okay.
[both squealing] Okay, we’re doing this.
We’re doing this?
We’re doing this.
We’re doing this.
[♪ music playing on phone]
♪ If I’m honest ♪
♪ I can’t give up
on your love ♪
Like, you really didn’t have to fill my tank all the way upShh, I’m trying to listen to your song.
♪ Don’t be walking
in front of me ♪
Okay. It’s good.
Dude, I’m so glad you like it, man.
I would listen to this, and will, probably…
[chuckles]
…like, on my way home.
Yes!
Yeah, no, it’s really good.
It’s really good.
It’s really, really, really good.
Right? Like… [sighs]
Yeah.
Like, if you wanna post a video of your son taking his first steps, or your husband getting over his pornography addiction…
Right.
…like, that should be the soundtrack.
It’s beautiful to be part of people’s, like, happiest moments.
[sighs]
It’s like, you get to be there.
[sighs]
Man, it’s such a shame that you’re so into, like, freelance right now, ’cause I have this, like, residency thing in Vegas coming up, and I don’t know.
Yeah, I just don’t know what I want, like, the style for it to be.
[sighs]
But, yeah, the show’s gonna be going for a really long time, and we’re gonna spend so much money on it.
I wanna create something that’s fun and inspiring.
Are-are you being serious right now?
[chuckles] That’s like…
What?
That’s just insane.
Like, this morning, I was like, I really just wanna do something, like, fun and inspiring.
That’s
I mean, it could be a really good match.
I don’t know, ’cause like, ’cause… right, you said inspiring, right?
Yes, yes. Like, really?
Yeah, inspire-yeah, inspiring, yeah.
Wow. I mean
That’s what I want.
That’s my whole goal, is to create a platform where I can spread a message of love.
I… that’s-that’s great.
God’s love, and His mercy, you know?
Yeah.
His love.
Totally.
God’s love.
Hey.
And God’s mercy.
Hey.
Right?
Yeah.
[laughing, sighing] Lukas… tell me more about this Vegas residency.
Okay.
Okay, I left my underwear on to, like, leave a little mystery.
Smart.
That’s really smart.
[squealing softly]
Okay.
Here we go.
You ready?
Yes. [exhales sharply] Shrek, “All Star,” movie version.
♪ Somebody once told me
the world is gonna roll me ♪
♪ I ain’t the sharpest
tool in the shed ♪
♪ She was looking kind of dumb
with her finger ♪
♪ And her thumb ♪
[Alani clearing throat]
♪ In the shape of an L ♪
Wait.
Did you take your clothes off under the robes?
Yeah.
I still have my underwear on, though.
Now, I have to destroy the robes!
I can’t believe this happened again!
[Quen] Again. Again.
And again.
[Meryl] You just married the wrong person–
Pause. Rewind it back.
Rewind it back.
I wasn’t ready for that part.
Okay, I hear you.
‘Cause you said start again so quickly after.
I-I understand.
Do it again.
[both] Again.
[Meryl] You
Pause, pause, pause!
Not synced.
I think I literally justYou literally weren’t though, girl.
Okay, Elijah, we’re really sorry, okay?
We didn’t realize you actually had a germ thing.
We thought these were like sexy robes.
Yeah, they seemed like sexy robes.
Every girl thinks she’s the only girl in the world who wants to fuck sweet Elijah.
No one wants to be friends with sweet Elijah.
We do!
We promise that we do!
Honestly, friends is better.
Like, sex makes me tired sometimes.
He doesn’t wanna hear about your weird personal stuff.
Elijah, we’re so sorry.
This, this, this is why I can’t go downstairs at parties at my own fucking house!
[Meryl] You just married the wrong person, that’s all.
[Quen] Don’t blink so much.
They can see you tremble.
We want people to watch this.
You just married the wrong person, that’s all.
I don’t wanna see you acting in this one.
Picture Meryl Streep.
You just married the wrong
You love Dustin Hoffman.
You just married the wrong–
Don’t look so sad.
It’s me, it’s my fault.
Faster!
You just married the wrong person, that’s all!
Slower, slower.
Look, we misread the situation.
We had a little bit too much to drink.
Oh.
Sorry, do you mind just turning it down?
[Elijah] Volume up.
[♪ music volume increasing]
Now-now this, this is stuck in my memory palace forever.
When you put something in the palace,
you can’t take it out!
Oh, my God.
We wanna be in the palace.
We’ll gowe’ll go to another room.
We’ll go to the bathroom.
We’ll go to the fucking coat closet.
We’re sorry.
I’m not just a fuck machine.
Okay?!
[Dustin] What is it?
[Meryl] It’s me, it’s my fault.
Oh, wait, we have a take.
We have a take.
Really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[door opens]
Quen, Landry is here.
You should just do one with him.
Yes! Fuck!
Don’t post this.
I’m texting Landry.
Delete that shit.
[Naomi] I’ll go grab some looks.
Tally, you wanna come with?
I gotta pee really badly.
I’m about to piss my pants.
[chuckles] I’m gonna go to the bathroom.
[♪ electronic music playing]
What the fuck is this?
[Quen]
This is my click farm.
We’re not paying some sketchy outfit in Vietnam.
What’s a click farm?
[assistant]
Social media platforms, well, they can now detect if you use emulation software to manipulate engagement, so ultimately, just buying, like, cheaper used smartphones is like a way easy way–
Aaron, shut the fuck up, leave.
[Elijah singing along]
♪ Only shooting stars ♪
♪ Break the mold ♪
[Elijah singing instrumental breakdown]
[laughing]
We have to go.
We have to go.
[singing sadly]
Go, go.
♪ Go for the moon ♪
[Elijah singing along] ♪ Hey now, you’re an allstar ♪
Wait!
[laughing maniacally]
You’ve got to push yourself to learn this stuff.
Right.
MMy thing is, I’m just a little more spontaneous.
You know what I mean?
Like, my fans love when I fuck up.
[chuckles]
It’s-it’s like thethe, um, the video of you chipping your tooth.
That wasn’t a fuckup.
My dentist prechipped the tooth.
What?
Tallulah, listen to me.
If you stop for a second, you will fucking disappear.
Who else cares about your career?
Your happiness, is anyone paying attention to that?
Um… [scoffs] Honestly, yeah.
Someone is.
[scoffs]
Oh, my God
oh!
What?
We need to leave this party.
[Maia] Uh, yeah.
There you bitches are.
Uh, where were you guys?
[Maia and Tallulah] Upstairs.
Upstairs?
But that’s where the Diddy stuff happened.
Fucking God, how come there are no shoe places open on DoorDash right now?
This is a fucking nightmare.
Sorry. Excuse me.
Sorry.
I love your dress.
Maia!
Oh, my God.
That was crazy.
I missed you.
I love you.
I love you, too.
Also, there’s a chance I got in a Quen TikTok.
[Alani] Girl, get in the fucking car.
[Tallulah] I’m trying!
I’m wearing Chloes!
Oh, my God, Elijah Wood could have killed us.
What?
Guys, any man could kill you at any moment.
I could kill you right now.
[all laughing]
[Alani] Shut up.
[driver continues laughing obnoxiously]
[Charlie] Do you mind stopping laughing like that?
♪ Seems it never rains ♪
♪ In Southern California ♪
♪ Seems I’ve often heard ♪
♪ That kind of talk before ♪
♪ It never rains
in California ♪
♪ But, girl,
don’t they warn ya ♪
♪ It pours ♪
♪ Man, it pours ♪
♪ Out of work,
I’m out of my head ♪
♪ Out of selfrespect,
I’m out of bread ♪
♪ I’m underloved,
I’m underfed ♪
♪ I wanna go home ♪
♪ It never rains
in California ♪
♪ But, girl,
don’t they warn ya ♪
♪ It pours ♪
♪ Man, it pours ♪
