House of Guinness
Season 1 – Episode 8
Episode title: Episode 8
Original release date: September 25, 2025
Plot: Patrick Cochrane illegally returns to Dublin with instructions from the Fenian Brotherhood to murder Arthur. As Rafferty struggles to gather intelligence, Edward visits Ellen, who is now considered untrustworthy due to her affair with a Guinness. Edward confesses he still loves her, but she sends him away. Edward and Adelaide both admit they are not in love, but their mutual respect grows. Meanwhile, due to a pattern of indiscretion, Anne insists Christine become Ben’s official mistress. Lady Olivia returns from London following an abortion, shaken and lonely. Arthur struggles with the deepening relationship between Lady Olivia and Rafferty, who were meant to remain emotionally distant: he ultimately gives her the option to run away with Rafferty in dishonour or end the affair. While she claims she will do the latter, she and Rafferty arrange a way to secretly continue, vowing to be together. On the day of the Parliamentary election, Arthur gives a public speech to Dublin’s constituents; nearby, Patrick Cochrane aims his gun and fires a shot.
* * *
House of Guinness – S01E08 – Episode 8 | Full transcript
[water lapping]
[Cochrane] They thought they could send me away.
[rower] It’s bout time the Guinness family got what’s coming to them.
Good luck, brother.
[tense music plays]
[steam horn hoots]
[somber folk music playing]
[distant rumbling]
[music fades out]
[Byron] …and I will work night and day to make Dublin a city that is the envy of the world!
Sir Arthur Guinness.
Your speech for the rally, kind sir, delivered with the humility of a god come to earth, his wonders to perform.
What the fuck are all these pictures?
[Byron] You see… in America, they have discovered that likenesses of the candidate serve to connect the voter more with the man they are electing.
Ahh. And these pictures, these…
Likenesses?
Like… likenesses.
Mmhmm.
Yes.
They tend to show the candidate as perhaps a more perfect creature than he actually is.
Well… a more perfect creature doesn’t exist.
[chuckles] That’s too kind.
Uh, if you will, just…
In this likenesses over here…
Um… [clears throat, sniffs] I have a beard.
[mellow music plays]
[inhales sharply]
So in 1848… yeah?
An 11yearold girl from Chautauqua County, New York, saw a depiction of Abraham Lincoln on a poster.
Now, she wrote to the great man suggesting he grow a beard to make himself more appealing to voters.
He did grow a beard.
He did get fucking elected.
And he kept the beard for the rest of his life.
[Arthur] Mm.
Our election is in five weeks.
You could have an electable beard in two.
“An electable beard”?
[paper crumpling]
[Arthur] You see… Hey.
[whistles] Look at me.
[music ends] This is not New York.
The election rally is in three days’ time.
And I am not Abraham Lincoln.
There will be no whistles, no bugles, no parades.
Well, I… I’ve actually already invested in the whistles, so…
[tense music plays]
[scattered chattering]
[clattering]
[Ellen] Fuckin’ bonehead.
[music fades]
[drink pouring]
[Cochrane sighs]
What the fuck are you doing back in Ireland?
[Cochrane exhales]
I’m here to see if the rumors I’m hearing in New York about my sister are true.
So where is your man now?
The man who came in here and… and took what he wanted and then married one of his own.
That man is the reason why you are free.
Now get out.
Ellen, you made a mistake.
I told you to get out.
He reeled you in with his promises and–
No.
I invited him into that bed.
Now your heart is broken.
I’ve explained my actions to myself.
I don’t need to explain myself to you.
[bed creaks]
[Cochrane] I came here to warn ya.
I didn’t come here to hurt ya.
There’s an election coming.
And the Brotherhood will play their part.
Are you threatening a violent action during this election, brother?
[Cochrane] What a monster this love must be for you to… walk so willingly across the lines.
You can love someone and still love our cause without killing for it.
For God’s sake, Ellen.
This is our cause.
Right here in my hand.
[tense music plays]
A bullet for who?
You mad little boy. No matter what instructions they’ve given you, please, please don’t do anything mad.
I need you alive.
The days to come are filled with danger.
Stay here where it is safe.
[exhales]
[sobbing softly]
[music fades]
[Ellen breathing shakily]
[Cochrane sighs] Yeah.
[unsettling notes play]
[door shuts]
[“For Everything” by The Murder Capital playing]
♪ I am the underworld ♪
♪ The one you want to leave ♪
♪ A frail democracy ♪
♪ Benign treaty ♪
♪ Courageously foreseen ♪
♪ Dreams ♪
♪ Collusion lines the walls… ♪
[Ellen] Edward, I had no intention of breaking the silence between us, but I am very worried about my brother.
And maybe you should be worried about your brother, as well.
[postpunk song continues]
[squeaking]
[song fades]
[Arthur] Ah, Edward.
I fear you’ve missed the best bit.
I fear I am arriving bringing with me… the worst bit.
I have received intelligence from a very reliable source…
that trouble is coming.
I’ve sent Rafferty to find out more.
Come on.
[tense thrumming builds]
[rousing music plays]
[speaking in Irish]
[music fades]
[Edward in English] Any news?
I’ve been all over the city.
No one will admit to the fact that Cochrane is even here.
Which leads me to ask you once again, who is it that told you he is back in Dublin in the first place?
Oh, come on, Edward. I know who it is.
So why do you ask?
It’s your job to find out where he is and why he came back to Dublin.
New batch, Mr. Guinness.
Thank you.
If they have sent Cochrane back here all the way from New York, then it is something special that they are planning.
Will you give us a minute, please, Shane?
Cochrane has a grudge against the family.
My guess is he volunteered for this.
Volunteered for what?
An attempt on your brother’s life.
[steam whistle blows]
No. Our… Rafferty?
Our philanthropy in this city has brought us both Catholic and Liberal supporters.
And that is what your enemies fear the most.
Kindness to make the status quo bearable.
By the way, that bottle is a little sweet.
Yes.
What harm is it if I go to your woman and… and…
She is not my fucking woman.
And you will not go.
I will go.
Make sure my brother stays at home.
Let’s get this sorted, Rafferty!
Too sweet.
[knocking at door]
[landlady] Your gentleman friend is here.
Don’t worry. I don’t want to come in.
Good, ’cause I don’t want you to come in.
I will get my coat, and you can meet me downstairs.
You could help me peg some clothes.
[Edward] Will these clothes even dry in the dark?
[Ellen] Your brewery gives off less black smoke at night.
So in the morning, there will be a chance my clothes will… be dry and still white.
How is the campaign?
[Edward] Ellen…
Don’t come close, please.
[Edward] I’m sorry.
Why don’t you just ask me the question you came here to ask me?
I don’t know where my brother is.
I’m no longer trusted with their secrets.
I’m no longer trusted by… either side.
I came here for two reasons.
To ask you that question and to answer one of my own.
I now have the answer.
Ellen, when you opened the door to your room just now, I realized…
I still love you.
You should go.
She’ll be wondering where you are.
[melancholy music playing]
[steam whistle blows]
[engine chugging]
[Adelaide] You said you were working late at the office, so…
I thought I would come and keep you company.
Where were you?
It was humiliating.
Look, I went to her because I need information.
I know.
Potter told me the situation.
Was she of any use?
No.
No…
[music fades]
I… I didn’t go into her room.
Oh, bravo.
[clapping]
[hoofbeats approach]
[man] Excuse me, Mr. Guinness.
It seems like no one in this family can be with the one they truly love.
Does that include you?
I love the work that I do.
I love the fact that now we’re married, I can change things for the better.
But… my ability to love another human being is something I question.
You are close to being that person.
You’re close to being that person too.
But I’m not that person.
All compromises are imperfect.
But an imperfection we can live with, yes?
[light music plays]
I went out and bought pins.
[exclaiming happily]
We’re getting through an inordinate amount of pins for pinning up our plans.
You could measure our virtue by weighing our pins.
You actually went into a shop and bought the pins yourself with money?
With coins.
No gloves.
I made a joke about the weather.
The people of Dublin love me.
[clears throat]
[music fades]
[Adelaide] Anne…
[light music plays]
Guess why you’re here.
Because love is blind.
Yes, love is blind.
I am not.
The people of Dublin are not.
I think we’ve been discreet.
Registering for a room in the Imperial Hotel under the name of Mr. and Mrs. Guinness.
[chuckles quietly]
I was drunk.
I was not.
A hotel bill as big as a working man’s annual salary, involving five bottles of champagne, two bottles of brandy, caviar.
And, Ben, exactly how did you break the antlers of a mounted stag’s head?
[Christine chuckles]
Ben took the stag’s head from the wall, and… it was time to rut.
[clears throat] I ran at her and…
[inhales] …missed.
[laughs]
[music ends]
We are in love, Annie.
[Anne sighs]
Well, it seems you both are incurable.
As am I.
So we must all accept the limitations that our inflictions impose upon us.
May I have…
[Anne] If you promise to be discreet from now on, the family will accept you as Benjamin’s official mistress.
The life of an official Guinness mistress is not unpleasant.
Is this Edward’s idea?
Mine and Aunt Agnes’s and Dodo’s.
We have appointed ourselves as official guardians of the family’s reputation.
Because right now, something very serious is happening.
What once was just a brewery has now become a symbol in this city, and we represent the Guinness name.
Whatever happens next, the family must endure.
So we need friends.
We need Arthur to be elected.
We need our philanthropy to be accepted, and we need both sides of the Irish divide to see us as a bridge.
We have enemies with bombs and guns.
We have enemies with Bibles under their arms.
So we must all be united.
[bottles clinking] [rousing music plays]
[gunshot]
[high-pitched ringing fades]
[horse neighs]
[music fades]
[Potter] Your brother’s carriage is just pulling up, sir.
[Arthur] You know, Byron Hedges suggested I grow a beard to make me look more like Abraham Lincoln.
You might remind Mr. Hedges that Abraham Lincoln was assassinated.
[Arthur] Ahh…
[chuckles lightly]
You’ve heard?
There’s a plot and a man with a gun.
Everyone knows.
Everyone’s worried for you.
Everyone but me.
I’m worried about my wife.
Yes.
[Edward] Potter, when was the, uh, whiskey decanter last filled?
Early last evening, sir.
Ah, yes.
I had guests.
What guests?
[Arthur] Doubt, uncertainty.
But not fear, he says.
It’s not the fear of a bullet that’s making you empty the whiskey decanter?
Well?
Well, um…
my wife is in London, visiting her sisters, and between trips to the theater and to her sisters, she…
Sorry, what time is it?
Just gone midday.
The appointment was for 11:30.
Oh, of course.
The problem, too, will just be gone.
[somber music playing]
“My wife has gone to London, Mr. Rafferty.”
“Do you understand? She’s visiting her sisters, Mr. Rafferty.”
“That’ll be all, Mr. Rafferty.”
Just gone midday and you’re drunk.
The House of Guinness is riven with deceit.
But I could not pass off his bastard as my heir.
Shut up.
This is messy.
No, no. We have work to do.
Okay? I have a broken heart. So what?
We have important work to do.
Now, come on. I need you to be strong.
[sobbing quietly]
[music fades]
[utensils clattering]
[squeaking]
[Arthur] Saw your sisters in London?
They were well?
They were the talk of Chelsea.
And you saw a show?
An American Lady by Byron.
Was it any good?
I wasn’t really paying attention.
[metal clinking on plate]
[clinking] [chewing] You see, it was the night before.
[inhales sharply]
Mm, I was very frightened.
Yes, but…
in the end, there was… there was no need for you to be frightened.
There was, you know.
There was cause to be frightened, because the next day…
[utensils clatter]
[dark music playing]
It was not…
It was very lonely.
I’m sorry.
I felt very alone.
I should have come with you.
They wouldn’t have allowed you to stay.
It was just a little surgery.
Just the doctor and I.
And briefly, the other–
Olivia, it was the best doctor on Harley Street.
Oh, I imagine he is.
Maybe when you were lonely, it wasn’t me that you wanted.
I think I’ll go to bed early tonight.
Yeah?
The man you probably wanted asked if he could see you tonight.
Because I’m kind to everyone but myself, I said yes.
[melancholy music plays]
He’s in the library, pretending to prepare leaflets.
It’s okay. I know.
You don’t have to love me because I love you.
Love?
[chuckles sadly]
So sad and odd, isn’t it?
[sighs]
You go to the library, pretend to prepare leaflets, and I will go to bed and pretend to sleep.
Go.
But remember, you are my wife.
[door shuts]
[breathes deeply]
[music fades out]
He said you asked if you could see me?
I wanted to see if you’re all right.
I’m not.
I’ve been concerned.
I’ve discovered I’m completely alone when I’m not with you.
Everything is just an act on a stage when I’m not with you.
So they took our baby.
[shushing]
No, not that word.
[bittersweet music plays softly]
London was always lit up.
It was exhausting.
Well, you probably need to sleep.
I won’t sleep unless your arms are around me.
When I wake tonight in a nightmare, which I know I will, I will need you close to me.
My husband said he does not object if we go to bed and have sex.
But he does object if we go to bed and do not have sex, because that means a relationship has begun.
You sleep.
I will watch over you.
I’m very afraid that I am in love with you.
Do not be afraid.
I am in love with you too.
[Rafferty sniffs]
[somber music plays]
[inhales sharply]
[birds chirping]
[Cochrane] …forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.
[inhales deeply]
[exhales deeply]
♪ All the boys on the FÁS course
All the boys on the dole ♪
[whistle blows]
So I blow my whistle, and the merriment begins.
Merriment?
Yeah! Six men dressed in green, six men dressed in orange.
Byron, where is this going?
[Byron laughs]
They have hats that are black, the color of…
Guinness.
Porter.
And they follow you, do they?
Yeah, from tavern to tavern, picking up men along the way.
And this is still the Conservative Party campaign, correct?
[Byron] You still want me to get you elected, correct?
[Edward] Which he will, Arthur.
[“All the Boys on the Dole” by TPM ends]
And what of your… other research?
So I made inquiries with former associates in Dublin.
They’re old friends of me father.
I’ve paid particular men to be in particular places when meetings are held. Now…
Obviously, this time no one knows anything.
You say the name Cochrane, and they fall silent like Carthusian monks.
But I know the looks on their faces.
No idea when or where an attempt will be made, but we’re taking care of it.
Even so, I’m still not afraid.
[tense music plays]
If the bullet flies, what a life I leave behind.
Brother, don’t speak like that.
I’ve realized something.
I’m brave.
I’m brave.
Who would have guessed?
Me.
I would’ve guessed.
Rafferty will find Cochrane.
[Arthur] Let’s see.
[music fades]
[indistinct chatter]
[“Nausea” by Gurriers plays]
[clamor ensues]
[indistinct shouting]
Where’s Cochrane?
[speaking in Irish]
[grunts, groans]
[straining] [screaming]
[grunts, roaring]
[grunting]
[man yelping]
[man shouts]
[gasping]
[soundscape slows and muffles]
[distant woodwind tune playing]
[puffs]
[high-pitched ringing]
[breathing heavily]
[warbling tones build]
[silence]
[Olivia] Potter said you had business.
Important business.
[clock ticking swiftly]
I want my father to witness because he will heartily approve.
Of what?
[Arthur snaps]
[grunts softly]
We made a deal, and you have broken the conditions of that deal.
When we drew up our marriage contract, you demanded the right to fuck and forget whomsoever you wanted.
And I fucked but neglected to forget.
Is that it?
Yes.
You could make love…
but not love.
And so is the contract nullified?
Will lawyers be informed?
That is up to you.
[unsettling music plays]
You can, if you wish…
leave with him.
You can leave, but you and he would be on foot because there would be no carriage.
He would be unemployed, of course, and you would be returned to the financial condition you were in before we signed our contract.
Your new man would be unemployable across the whole country.
The reason for your new situation would be known throughout the whole city.
My dishonor.
Your shame.
Add to all this the fact that my most senior employee is, as a consequence of his feelings, rather debilitated and unfit for my purposes.
In spite of this contractual breach…
both your contracts could continue as before, with conditions altered.
See…
intimacy between you two will be forbidden…
to prevent a repeat of the breach and to prevent any further accidents.
In that case…
I accept the altered conditions of our agreement.
[Arthur] Very good.
[music ends] [footsteps retreating] I told him you need to speak to him.
When?
[Arthur] Now.
Not now.
[Arthur shouts] Now!
I am in the midst of a campaign.
We need to get this done.
I need you on my arm, smiling.
Um…
There’s a carriage waiting outside to take you home.
In future, I will always remember to forget.
[Arthur] Yes.
Everything is as you wish.
And always will be.
[door creaks shut] [Arthur exhales deeply] It is a great relief to me that I will never pass on this burden that you have passed down to me.
[“The Parting Glass” by boygenius & Ye Vagabonds plays]
♪ Of all the money ♪
♪ That e’er I spent ♪
♪ I spent it in good company ♪
♪ And of all the harm ♪
♪ That e’er I’ve done ♪
♪ Alas, it was to none but me… ♪
I said five minutes.
More than enough.
Send him.
Yes, madam.
♪ For want of wit ♪
♪ To memory now I can’t recall ♪
♪ So fill to me ♪
♪ The parting glass… ♪
Potter.
Go and do something in a room far away.
Yes, madam.
And close the door.
[Potter] Yes, madam.
[song fades out]
Of course, there are eyes upon us.
Potter will go and find some place to observe.
But they can’t hear us if we speak very softly.
Except you will not speak.
You will just nod and look sad.
I am sad.
I’ve been instructed to tell you that we must never ever be together in that way again.
But I’ve decided…
[speaking in Irish]
[in English] I must be quick, so I will be brief.
I have a cousin who is a devil, but I can trust him.
He has a property in Donnybrook.
Olivia, I–
Just look fucking sad.
I will claim to have found a new distraction.
A man who entertains me like a Guinness mistress. No one…
need know that that is actually you.
We will meet on Wednesdays.
One day.
Yes. One day a week at first.
What I was going to say is, one day, we will be together.
I will agree to sneak around their fucking bigotry for a while.
But one day, we will be together.
Now go.
Look sad.
I am sad.
[“Lawman” by Gilla Band plays]
♪ He said I used to be indecisive ♪
♪ Now I’m not sure ♪
♪ Is tucked into
His smasual awkward pocket ♪
♪ Etcetera instead of her, I’m younger ♪
♪ I said I never really liked it
Till you said that… ♪
We need a bit more fucking urgency in this room, please, yeah?
In five hours, Arthur Guinness will be standing on this stage.
[Edward] And your Conservative Member of Parliament, Arthur Guinness.
[theatrically] The future… of our great city–
Arthur, Arthur. Way too much.
Sorry. Yes.
[babbling]
…of our great city is in the balance.
Do we move forward with the times, or do we sink back into the “miered” prejudices?
Mired.
Mired. Thank you.
Do we move back into the mired prejudices of the past?
[song fades out]
[ominous music plays]
[gunshot]
[Arthur] When you look upon me, you see no radical.
[tense music builds]
But what you do see is a man whose mind is… oh, my mind is a… is a man whose mind is open to…
[Edward] Open. Yes.
My mind is open…
Yes.
Fuck! What is my…
What is my mind open to, Edward?
Open to improving the lives of all our citizens.
Thereby inferring that you’ll be open to improving the lot of the Catholics.
Now, on to the part of the speech where you put forward your new ideas regarding the legalization of sodomy.
[chuckling]
[rousing string music plays]
[Cochrane] You’ll do.
[music fades]
I told all family members that, um… just by being with you on the platform, they… may be putting themselves at risk.
I told them that at any moment… the bullet might fly.
[Arthur] And?
Well, they said they wanted to be with you.
We agreed that it’s important to be united against any imposition or threat.
And we are… in spite of everything.
[Arthur breathes shakily]
[sighs]
Damn it. I’ve decided I’ve got something to say to you all.
[Edward] Arthur…
Yes. Yes, sit. Sit.
Uh…
Before we set off, as elder brother, I’m gonna say a few words.
Can the emphasis please be on the word “few,” Arthur?
On the day of Father’s funeral, we were all gathered here in this room, and Anne was forced to make us all hold hands like schoolchildren.
I threw whiskey in Benjamin’s face.
Benjamin headbutted Edward.
I threw my head back in shock.
You loosened a tooth.
Hush, or you completely negate the point I’m about to make.
What point? It’s ten minutes to.
The point is that since that day, we’ve all changed… for the better.
Benjamin, on the day of Father’s funeral, you were drunk.
Now you’re slightly less drunk.
[chuckles]
[solemn music plays]
Anne, our betterment started with you.
As you see, Arthur, in my body, I’m not better.
[Arthur] Yes, but by your will and insistence, you have made sure that the Guinness name is not just remembered for beer, but for kindness.
Edward, it is you who has taken a success and turned it into a miracle.
An international leviathan.
Turning water, hops, and barley into gold.
And I, who… back then was here on sufferance…
What happened to a few words?
…can now say that there is nowhere on earth that I would rather be than in this room, with this family, as a part of this company.
So… [clears throat] …let us just know that in this room… just us, perhaps… we’ve made our father proud.
[“Starburster” by Fontaines D.C. playing]
♪ It may feel bad ♪
♪ I wanna talk with a gag
If it’s a bottle or bag ♪
♪ I wanna strike with the SAG
I need the friends from it ♪
♪ I wanna shot in the dark
I wanna make the mark ♪
♪ I wanna live the arc
I call the ends on it ♪
♪ I wanna take the truth
Without a lens on it ♪
♪ My Godgiven insanity
It depends on it ♪
♪ How I feel?
How I feel? ♪
♪ How I feel?
I wanna keel ♪
♪ Over harder than
A turned up challenger ♪
♪ I wanna keep
All your charm in a canister ♪
♪ Do you inspire
Like the same did Salinger? ♪
♪ I’m the pig on the Chinese calendar ♪
[crowd cheering and booing]
[song fades]
[cheers and whistles] [marching music plays] Yes!
[attendees cheering]
[attendees booing]
Come on!
Ahoy!
Here he is!
[Arthur laughing]
Keep it tight, boys. Keep it tight.
You’re a disgrace!
[clamoring]
Beautiful! Beautiful!
Hello, you…
Mwah. Mwah.
You look ravishing. Gorgeous.
Gorgeous!
[dark music playing]
[Arthur laughing]
And God bless you!
[man] I believe in you, Sir Arthur!
Yes, yes.
With you all the way, Mr. Guinness!
[Arthur] Thank you. Thank you.
[man chattering indistinctly]
[tense music rising]
[man 2] You look grand, Guinness.
[Arthur] Yes.
Yes.
For Dublin!
[cheering and whistling]
This is going rather well.
So far so good.
[tense music plays]
Now, I would like you to go inside, stand with the crowd, think no more about it.
I’m Lady Olivia of Bantry Bay.
I do not stand with the fucking crowd.
[indistinct chattering]
[music fades]
[crowd chattering]
[man laughs]
Hey, wake up!
Eyes peeled on both balconies.
Yes, sir.
Sir… you’re safe.
Rafferty’s men are on every door.
Your coat, sir.
[Byron] Ladies and gentlemen…
Time to shine.
…may I present to you…
[exhales deeply]
[distorted whooshing]
…the Conservative candidate…
[muffled whooshing]
[deep breath echoing]
…for Dublin City, Sir Arthur Guinness!
[distortions fade]
[loud cheers and applause]
[hopeful music plays]
Move.
Move!
I said move!
[woman] Oh…
[exhales deeply]
[crowd applauding]
[tense drumbeat picks up]
People of Dublin…
[crowd murmuring]
…we stand here together…
What are you doing here?
I wanna save my brother from the gallows.
…in the heart of our great city.
A city with a proud history.
[scant replies] If you see him, have him arrested before he can do anything.
[Arthur] A city…
And… keep this gun in your pocket and out of your hand.
I’m looking for him too.
If I see him, I will blow my whistle, and you and your men will come to my aid.
But you will not kill.
[crowd clapping]
Our success has come through compassion as well as thrift.
[scattered responses]
And since my father’s death, with my family united, the Guinness Brewery has begun the business of conquering the world!
[loud shouts and applause]
[man shouts] Hey! You owe me money!
[distant clamoring]
And now, I and my family will strive…
[men yelling]
Shut your mouth.
[man] I don’t know ya!
[Arthur] …to make this city the envy of the world!
[cheering]
[Rafferty] Hey. Hey!
[dark music plays]
[Arthur] As I speak, the future of our great city hangs in the balance.
Do we move forward with the times?
Or do we sink back to the mired prejudices of the past?
When you look upon me, you see no radical.
But what you do see is a man whose mind is open…
[whistle blowing]
…to new ways…
Move!
…of improving the lives of all of our citizens!
[cheering crowd fades]
[hammer clicks]
[gunshot echoes]
[“Beer, Beer, Beer” by The Clancy Brothers plays]
♪ One, two, three ♪
♪ Beer, beer, beer
Tiddly beer, beer, beer ♪
♪ A long time ago ♪
♪ Way back in history ♪
♪ When all there was to drink
Was nothin’ but cups of tea ♪
♪ Along came a man
By the name of Charlie Mops ♪
♪ And he invented a wonderful drink
And he made it out of hops ♪
♪ He must have been an admiral
A sultan or a king ♪
♪ And to his praises
We shall always sing ♪
♪ Look what he has done for us
He’s filled us up with cheer ♪
♪ Lord bless Charlie Mops
The man who invented beer, beer, beer ♪
♪ Tiddly beer, beer, beer… ♪
♪ The Cury’s Bar, the Clancy’s Pub
The Hole in the Wall as well ♪
♪ But one thing you can be sure of
It’s Charlie’s beer they sell ♪
♪ So come on all me lucky lads
Eleven o’clock ye stop ♪
♪ For five short seconds
Remember Charlie Mops ♪
♪ One, two, three, four, five ♪
♪ He must have been an admiral
A sultan or a king ♪
♪ And to his praises
We shall always sing ♪
♪ Look what he has done for us
He’s filled us up with cheer ♪
♪ Lord bless Charlie Mops
The man who invented beer, beer, beer ♪
♪ Tiddly beer, beer, beer ♪
♪ Tiddly beer, beer, beer ♪
♪ Tiddly beer, beer, beer ♪
♪ Tiddly beer, beer, beer ♪
♪ Tiddly beer, beer, beer ♪
♪ Tiddly beer, beer, beer ♪
♪ The lovely Charlie Mops ♪
[song ends]



