Evil
Season 4 – Episode 13
Episode title: Fear of the Unholy
Release date: August 15, 2024
Plot: The Vatican asks the team to investigate a Hawking-like genius for potential ties to the occult. David’s continued aiding of the Entity produces physical effects, noticed by Sister Andrea. Leland returns home, where David confronts him.
* * *
FEMALE SOLOIST: ♪ Above adore thee ♪
♪ Infinite ♪
♪ Thy vast domain ♪
♪ Everlasting ♪
♪ Is thy reign. ♪
I have just one announcement.
This will be the last mass celebrated in this church.
The archdiocese is under great financial strain and has concluded it best to deconsecrate and sell this building.
The occupants of this rectory will, unfortunately, be moved.
It is not yet revealed to us where we’ll be reassigned, but when it is, we will update the website.
Thank you.
We need to get him drunk.
DAVID: Please stand for the blessing.
(congregation stands)
(door opens, closes)
Wow… that was emotional.
How odd, I felt closest to the two atheists in the building.
Hey, agnostic here.
So, last assessment, hmm?
How can we choose?
I mean, one case out of hundreds.
(loud bang)
Excuse me.
Wow, they don’t waste any time.
So who’s buying the place?
CongoRun.
Fitting.
Wow.
What the hell?
Where’d it all go?
Sent back to the Vatican.
DAVID: Why?
We weren’t done.
I think we’ve met before.
I’m Father Katagas from the Vatican.
Although, if you recognize the accent,
I’m actually from Brooklyn.
Yes, 12 miles from here, I know.
The Vatican has a case for you. One last one.
The Vatican closed us down.
Kristen, is it?
No, we didn’t. The archdiocese did.
This involves a professor that we’ve invited to join
the Pontificia Accademia delle Scienze
to consult on quantum analysis.
Jesus Christ, you got Johan Taupin?
Yes.
He wants to consult with the Pontificia.
Who’s that?
Are you kidding?
He’s like the top theoretical physicist in the world.
Wait, is that the guy in the wheelchair?
Okay, he taught at MIT,
he’s got two Nobel Prizes,
but sure, yeah, he’s “the guy in the wheelchair.”
Listen, if Taupin wants to help the Vatican, just say yes.
And we want to.
This is just a courtesy. Due diligence.
There’s a rumor that Professor Taupin
was once involved in the dark arts, the occult.
Oh, come on. This is prejudice.
I mean, anybody who’s interested
in quantum theory is thought to be a wizard.
Meet with him today
and sign off by Friday.
Kind of an anticlimactic last case.
♪ ♪
What do you see in it?
Pure thought.
It’s like music. I mean, formulas at this level,
they’re just like… they’re beautiful.
Do you understand it?
I think so.
It’s a theory of quantum inflation.
DAVID: It’s kind of dark in here.
BEN: Yeah. Helps him think.
Taupin hates fluorescents.
So, do you know where they’re gonna send you next?
No. I rubbed some bishops the wrong way,
so I’ll probably end up in Alaska.
This is making me sad.
Yeah. You should be a kickboxer like your doppelgänger.
What?
Oh, uh,
that website, uh, Find Your Doppel.
I looked up your doubles.
Mine, too?
Yeah.
You’re a, uh, hipster chick in Amsterdam.
And you, a kickboxer from Lyon.
I’ll send you the links.
Oh.
And yours… did you, did you look up yours?
You know, family man, Seattle.
My wife’s a doctor. I design websites.
So you’re out of work.
(chuckles) No.
Do you think they look us up?
I don’t know.
Creepy thought.
But you looking them up isn’t.
TAUPIN (over speech device): In the theory of eternal inflation,
we would have to rewrite the laws of physics
for each bubble universe. And as my editor knows,
I hate rewrites.
(laughter)
Hello.
Hi.
May I help you?
Yes. We have an appointment with Professor Taupin.
Oh, the church people.
Johan, this is your 11:00.
I’m Professor Taupin’s private secretary Neil.
Ah, yes. You need to know on what days I worship Satan.
(laughter)
That is a joke. You’ll find Johan has
a wicked sense of humor.
DAVID: Ah, nice to meet you, sir.
Professor, I-I just want to say that your theories
on event horizons rival Hawking.
They are still something that I think about today.
(laughter)
Um, yes, um, the Vatican wanted us to clear a seat for you
on the Pontificia Accademia delle Scienze.
And there are rumors that you are involved in the occult?
Well, I’m sure, to some laymen,
quantum mechanics have the appearance of the occult.
Do you know what might have caused these rumors?
No idea.
There can be misunderstanding of genius.
It is, um, reported that the professor
exhibited erratic behavior and that he was screaming that
something evil was inside of him?
Reported by who?
DAVID: It was anonymous.
TAUPIN: The Five.
BEN: The Five?
What is The Five?
Postgrad students who work with the professor
on his wave particle duality theories.
They have a… a quirky sense of humor.
(both chuckle)
Can we interview these postgrads?
♪ ♪
(dialogue inaudible)
TAUPIN: What was your name?
Oh, um, Kristen. Dr. Bouchard.
Medicine?
Psychology, yes.
Ah, soft science.
I find the distinction between soft and hard science
to be problematic.
Let me guess, 32C.
Excuse me? Ooh, yes,
you are making this hard scientist so hard.
What the fuck?!
Maybe you need to fuck the hell off, Professor.
Ha, ha. It’s hard for my voice generator
to truly represent my laugh,
but I’m laughing inside.
GEOFF: The professor is like the new Stephen Hawking.
He built himself up from nothing.
Stockton, California to Oslo.
He’s not interested in the occult,
he’s interested in results.
Hey, are you guys The Five?
Yes, that’s us.
Okay.
So there’s four of you. Where’s the fifth?
Sure, I called you guys. He’s a lech.
Ask him how many times he’s been to Epstein’s island.
He just asked for my measurements.
Yeah, that’s what celebrity does to him.
It’s when his book took off and movie stars
wanted to meet him.
He became obsessed with Beyoncé.
He asked everybody about her.
He thinks his genius gives him immunity.
Look, I believe.
And if I were the Vatican,
I wouldn’t let him anywhere near their committee.
This is mission creep.
I mean, that’s not what we were asked to look into.
He asked you your measurements?
Yeah.
And he said he was hard for me.
You sure he wasn’t just joking?
‘Cause his voice generator is so flat.
What? Look, you don’t just get away with everything
just ’cause you’re joking.
All right? That’s not some “get out of jail free” card.
What did the woman say?
Beverly. She said he was a lech.
So we give this to Father Brooklyn and let him decide.
I agree.
With the recommendation the Church not take him?
We’ll let them decide.
Oh, sure, yeah, let’s just let the Church decide
how much misogyny is too much.
DAVID (sighs): What else can we do without
seeing signs of the occult?
We give him a clean bill of health
with an asterisk.
KIRBY: Father.
(sighs) If you’ll excuse me,
I have a church to deconsecrate.
KIRBY: Lord God, in your great goodness you once accepted
your honor and glory in this building.
Receive our praise for the blessings
you bestowed on your people in this place.
May we be conscious at all times
of your unchanging love, through Jesus Christ,
your son, our Lord.
In nómine Patris, et Fílii,
et Spíritus Sancti. Amen.
Okay, so the movers will come tomorrow
to pick up the art and the furniture.
In the meantime, I’ve been tasked with
collecting the relic.
Okay.
Where is it?
Where is what?
The holy relic?
It’s a fragment of St. Joseph’s thigh bone, Father.
No idea. Pastor?
Uh…
Oh, well, it happens.
Yeah.
Okay, so,
you’ll be given your reassignments
in the next few days.
So please be packed and ready to go.
(voices whispering)
♪ ♪
We have to find the relic.
IGNATIUS: Why?
He doesn’t seem to care.
Because he doesn’t believe.
We can’t leave a relic in this deconsecrated church.
Are you sure it’s still here, Sister?
During the blackout of 1977,
the Church hid valuables to protect them from looting.
I’ll search the archives…
to find out where.
It’s a beautiful church.
ANDREA: It was.
♪ ♪
Hello?
Hello. I am Giovanni De Vita.
Guardia Palatina d’Onore.
Yes, I’ve heard of you.
How have you heard of me?
You’re Vatican security.
You arrested the pope’s butler.
So, no more Friends of the Vatican for me?
Ha. Why do you say that?
Because you’re not Father Dominic
or Mr. LeConte.
Father Dominic and Mr. LeConte are serving elsewhere.
You are angry with the Church, are you not, Father?
Angry with the Church?
I don’t understand the question.
Recently there have been, over the past several weeks,
events that have made you angry with the Church.
I am often disappointed in the Church.
It is an imperfect institution, as you should know.
Let’s talk about what you know.
The Church has canceled
your beloved assessor program.
It’s not my beloved program.
It is the Church’s, and it is quite effective.
Also, the archdiocese has deconsecrated your parish.
Good point.
I guess I am angry with the Church.
Hmm. That is to be forgiven.
What is not to be forgiven is traitorous acts.
I’m sorry, are you accusing me of being a traitor, Father?
Siamo pronti.
(footfalls approach)
This is Monastic Father Augusta.
Rome has mandated that you answer 31 questions before him.
DAVID: Why?
You were, and are,
very important to us, Father Acosta.
It is an honor to be tested.
Why is it not feeling like an honor?
The Vatican has asked everything of me,
and I have not once flinched.
“To whom much has been given, much will be asked.”
Please sit.
And if I leave?
You will be gone.
Meaning?
You will be gone.
Gone from our sight.
Gone from our love.
Gone from God’s protection.
Please place your hand around the top of the glass.
When was the last time you met with Mr. Leland Townsend?
DAVID: Two months ago.
GIOVANNI: Are you certain?
If you’re asking whether I met him
through remote viewing more recently,
then you should ask that.
When was the last time you met with Mr. Leland Townsend
by remote viewing?
16 days ago.
What do you know of the 60?
If, by “the 60,” you mean the 60 demonic families,
then I know that they are the 60 demonic families
found in the Poveglia Codex.
Did you steal the Poveglia Codex?
No.
I acquired a copy.
Why did you acquire a copy?
To make our work
at thwarting the families easier.
Did you give a copy to Mr. Leland Townsend?
No.
Did your fellow assessor Kristen Bouchard
give a copy to Mr. Leland Townsend?
No.
Would you lie for Kristen Bouchard?
Would I lie?
That is not a fair question. What is the context?
The context is simple.
Vatican security is asking you
if you would lie for Kristen Bouchard.
Yes.
♪ Because there you sit ♪
(phone vibrating)
♪ All by yourself ♪
♪ Everybody’s dancing… ♪
Hello?
TAUPIN (over phone): Hello, Ben. How are you?
Dr. Taupin?
Yes, Ben. How are you?
Good. How are you?
I’m doing well, Ben.
I was wondering if you had a minute.
Of course.
Something is in here with me.
I feel it.
I can see it.
Mr. Taupin, are you all right?
I can see it.
It’s in my peripheral vision.
Was wondering… was wondering…
(computerized voice distorting)
(growling)
(low-pitched): It’s inside me.
(screaming)
Hello? Professor?
Fuck you. You ignorant fuck.
(screams)
♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
(snoring)
(distant thudding)
(thudding continues)
(thudding continues)
(thumps)
Oh!
(thudding continues)
(loud thudding)
(clanging, thudding)
Sister, what are you doing up?
The relic’s in here. According to the archives.
Can’t this wait until morning?
The faster you pick up a hammer and help me,
the faster you can go back to bed.
(loud thudding)
(stone clattering)
(grunts)
All right, Sister, get out of the way.
Careful now.
The reliquary’s about this big.
All right. All right.
(grunts softly) Oh.
Careful.
I think I… I think I feel something in here.
Okay, all right.
It’s very… I almost have it.
Good.
Oh. Ooh.
(chittering)
Wait, my hand is-is stuck.
What?
My hand is stuck.
Ouch! Ouch!
Ooh!
Something’s got me. It’s biting me!
It’s… Ow!
(grunts)
It looks like one of those
New York rats got my hand.
Oh. I’m gonna need a rabies shot.
But look.
At least I-I got the relic.
(laughs)
Oh, no.
I guess the rat got it.
(sighs)
♪ I hear tell you’re doing well, good things have come to you ♪
♪ I wish I had your happiness ♪
♪ And you had a do-wacka-do ♪
♪ Wacka-do, wacka-do, wacka-do, wacka-do ♪
(scatting)
♪ Yeah, I see you’re going down ♪
♪ The street in your big Cadillac ♪
♪ You got girls in the front, you got girls in the back ♪
♪ Yeah, way in back, you got money in a sack ♪
♪ Both hands on the wheel and your shoulders rared back ♪
♪ Root-doot-doot-doot-doot, do-wah… ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Yeah, I see you’re going down the street ♪
♪ In your big Cadillac ♪
♪ You got girls in the front ♪
♪ You got girls in the back, yeah, way in back ♪
♪ You got money in a sack… ♪
(door opening in distance)
♪ And your shoulders rared back ♪
♪ Root-doot-doot-doot-doot, do-wah ♪
♪ I hear tell you’re doing well ♪
♪ Good things have come to you ♪
(singing along): ♪ I wish I had your happiness ♪
♪ And you had my do-wacka-do… ♪
(loud thud)
(slow exhale)
(straining)
(groans)
Take your time.
It’ll take a minute.
(ragged exhale)
Did your, uh, billionaire friend get you this place?
Nice.
Just nod.
(hoarse): People are coming here.
More of your, uh, Satan worshippers?
I saw your cute little painting.
Intense.
You shouldn’t have looked.
Uh-oh.
Am I gonna burn up now?
Time for some truth-telling, Leland.
Why’d you leave the Entity?
That’s right.
I heard you’re one of us.
So why’d you leave?
(clicks tongue)
I learned to remote view.
(pants softly)
I learned to step into the worst of the worst.
All in the name of this mother whore of a Church.
I left because it seemed the Church was
no better than the “monsters” I was stepping into.
But you didn’t just leave.
You became the opposition.
(clicks tongue)
Might I sit up?
(pained groan)
I believe in the great unseeable truth.
As do you.
You’re aware of what exists
beyond the material world.
It’s the cross we both bear.
You don’t bear shit. You chose evil.
There is no evil, David.
There’s…
free will.
God gives us unbearable suffering,
uncertainty, death.
His only real gift is free will.
I am free to do what I wish.
Why not stir up strife, discontent, misery,
if it tickles me to do so?
David, you want truth-telling?
Here it is.
When we remote viewed into each other,
we left seeds of ourselves behind.
You now have some of my wickedness.
(chuckling): I have some of your virtue.
You have nothing of me.
Think, David.
Your handlers didn’t want you peering into my mind. Why?
They didn’t want you learning the same thing I did.
That you have a choice. Free will.
And now that you’ve taken yet another step
along the path to free will by coming and talking to me…
(panting) the Entity will find out.
They always do.
Then they’ll give you some Vatican lie detector test.
Some asshole monk.
That’s what they did with me.
But when that happens, you’re marked.
And if they can’t trust you, they get rid of you.
♪ And do-wacka-do ♪
♪ Wacka-do, wacka-do, wacka-do ♪
(chuckles)
(heavy door thuds)
Grazia a voi e pace da Dio nostro Padre
e dal Signore Gesù Cristo.
Did you see the painting?
Yes.
And?
It’s a picture of the apocalypse.
Fires, freeways, a medusa face,
Moses worshipping a burning bush.
Any clue as to where the 60 families are meeting?
There wasn’t enough time.
And the images were all too random.
My guess is there’s nothing there.
Huh. Anything else?
I was able to convince Leland I shared
his distrust of the Entity.
We know the 60 are meeting soon.
Gaining Leland’s trust is our best chance
for finding out when and where.
Will you meet him again?
Soon.
Mm.
The guardia trusts your instincts.
So, you trust me now?
Of course, David.
We always did.
So, when this is all over,
will I be assigned again to Father Dominic or Mr. LeConte?
I was hoping I wouldn’t have to tell you, but…
Mr. LeConte has died recently.
I believe I heard it was a heart attack.
And Father Dominic?
He is unavailable.
You got rid of him, too?
David…
we battle killers.
We are not killers.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
What works for me is hate.
Sure, “love your neighbor” when you’re not in the cage.
But take one kick to the face, and you will hate.
Turn on the volcano.
Let the other guy find love in his heart.
It’ll make it easier to take him down, huh?
(“You Are Not Alone” by Yannick Kalfayan playing)
(continues playing over laptop)
♪ You are not alone ♪
♪ When you’re feeling sad ♪
♪ Let me comfort you ♪
(crying)
♪ I’ll give you my all ♪
♪ Try to close your eyes ♪
♪ Listen to the words… ♪
Come on, what is wrong with you?
(scoffs)
(music stops)
(clamoring)
This is absurd.
So, you’re saying that you didn’t
call me up last night and ramble?
And you didn’t say those nasty things to me?
Absolutely not.
What’s going on here?
Your colleagues seem to have caught
the satanic panic fever.
Taupin called Ben last night and said he was possessed.
Said something was in him.
Professor Taupin is a very busy man.
He doesn’t…
All right, here, let me stand in front of you.
Then you can make eye contact.
I think you’re all mistaken.
The Vatican council needs Professor Taupin
more than he needs them.
That is true.
We do want him on the council
but not if he is dabbling in the occult.
He’s denying calling you?
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
And denying the sexual harassment.
Well, that is not the issue.
Of course not.
Kristen.
KATAGAS: This voice you heard,
could someone be hacking into the professor’s voice box?
Those boxes are closed systems. They’re not connected to Wi-Fi.
But if someone were committed enough?
Possibly. But, I mean, why?
KATAGAS: We have opponents.
Not just supernatural but political.
Our council will look into possible ways
to curb the climate crisis.
Professor Taupin can help.
(door opens)
(door closes)
Okay, I think it’s time you tell me that “long story.”
Later, all right?
Right now, I need you to help me hack a voice box.
And I need help figuring out what’s wrong with my brother.
Hey!
Is this about your migraines?
It is.
And the tin foil does what exactly?
I don’t know.
But I haven’t had a migraine since.
Okay? Don’t report me
to the international board of scientists.
Ben, you need to see a doctor for your condition.
(scoffs) I don’t have a condition.
You were shot with gold ion
from a freaking particle accelerator.
There are doctors who can treat that.
Really, they can treat particle accelerator accidents?
No, gold ion.
Some specialists use it for ALS treatments,
and they’re familiar with the side effects.
♪ ♪
Oh, my God.
What?
Is the jinn back?
No. But that is brilliant.
(line ringing)
KARIMA: What?
DAVID (over phone): Hello?
BEN: David, hi. Uh, listen, tell Taupin
to meet us at the rectory tomorrow.
Okay. Tell him we need to apologize.
Talk to you then.
So, you found the relic?
We found the reliquary. Not the relic.
That’s not why you’re here.
What is it, David?
I think part of Leland is in me.
Fractured in me.
Maybe it’s always been there.
If it is there, faith is the only cure.
(scoffs) Sometimes…
I get sick of faith.
Wait a second, David.
What difference does it make?
No. Turn around.
Why?
Turn around.
I need you to lift up your shirt.
Why?
Stop asking why.
You have something on your back.
What is it?
Hold still.
Sister.
(shushes)
(screeching)
(sighs)
(Andrea grunts)
Got it.
What was that?
ANDREA: Sin.
You need to go to confession more.
Actually, I need your help, Sister.
We wanted to ask you
about your gold ion treatment, Professor.
I thought you were here to apologize.
Sure. Sorry.
(chuckles softly)
Um, we think
that your treatments might explain
your behavioral changes and memory lapses.
TAUPIN: There have been no behavioral changes.
What do you take for your ALS, sir?
A catalytically active gold nanocrystal agent
suspended in water.
Try saying that five times fast.
Hmm.
You’re drinking it?
It is my golden latte.
Which hopefully will slow the cellular damage
implicated in ALS progression.
Have you considered the potential for hallucinations
by introducing heavy metals into your blood stream?
I have considered it, and to that I say, sign me up.
It’s the closest I can get to tripping on drugs.
And so, did your ALS start
before or after you visited Epstein’s island?
Listen, is there a point here?
Uh, Sister.
No.
Do we need to actually be here for your Latin lesson?
Thank you, Sister.
(snarls)
My apologies.
I tucked your label back in.
Excuse me.
I’ll be right back.
I have to make a phone call.
(exclaims, groans)
I’ll gut you, bitch.
You might want to get that looked at first.
(hisses)
(groans)
Sister! First aid kit!
Let him bleed.
What’s going on?
BEN: Hurry up, he’s bleeding!
Hurry!
We need an ambulance now.
Okay, thank you.
(pained groan)
(clacks)
(groans)
(clacks)
(pained squeal)
(groans)
(grunts softly)
(indistinct chatter)
Well, my best guess is it’s a head injury.
We’ll have a better understanding
when we do the MRI.
I’ll have the nurse…
No. No MRI.
WEINBERG: Who are you?
Professor Taupin’s nurse. No MRI.
Why?
TAUPIN: Tell them.
Four months ago,
Professor Taupin elected to have a Cerebral-path
implanted in his brain, a communication device.
The magnets from the MRI machine could kill him.
(whispers): What’s a Cerebral-path?
It’s a microchip implanted into his brain.
Like Musk, the university has been experimenting with it.
Others, too. It’s highly experimental.
Due to the ALS, the professor has been having trouble
using his voice box control.
The Cerebral-path generates the voice instantaneously.
It was implanted here.
Um, Doctor, it-it seems to me like
implanting a foreign object into the brain
could be what is causing this issue?
An implant could certainly cause infection and inflammation.
I recommend consulting with the surgeon
who performed the operation
and consider its immediate removal.
Do you think this is the reason for the erratic behavior?
Could be. Musk’s team implanted a similar device into monkeys
and it was reported that some of them
experienced chronic infection, even self-mutilation.
It’s insane to put something in your brain.
Well, I mean, if he was having difficulty
with the power to communicate,
then what choice did he have?
I don’t know. Shutting up?
Look, the Vatican is still going to want to hear from us.
Hmm.
Can you, uh…
look into this implant?
Yeah. Sure.
(distant thudding)
(thudding continues)
(thumps)
Ooh!
(hisses)
(loud thudding)
(thudding continues)
Sister. Are you never gonna let me get a full night’s…
(shushes)
(thudding continues)
What is that? Rats?
Demons.
Sister, let it go.
I’m gonna get fumigators in the morning.
Help me move this.
It’s midnight.
Help me.
(both grunting)
There we are. Right there.
(grunting)
What in the world did that?
(thudding)
What are you doing?!
You don’t know what’s in there!
Good point.
(exhales)
Sit here, Father.
Are you being kooky again?
There’s a demon in that hole.
I think he has our relic,
and I need to use you as bait.
(thudding)
I’m not bait enough?
Shh.
Those aren’t for you.
Do you really believe you see demons and devils?
Yes.
Have you ever seen God?
No.
Is there a chance…
there is only evil, there is no good?
No.
Why?
If you’ve never seen it, how do you know it’s there?
I’ve seen the fear…
in the face of the demons.
It’s not the fear of a five-foot nun.
(chuckles)
I’ve never seen God or demons.
I don’t know what I think.
My parents wanted one of their sons to be a priest.
Here I am.
I follow polls. Do you?
Election polls?
No,
polls about people not believing in God.
I think it’s from baseball,
I-I loved baseball stats.
I used to collect them.
The largest religious affiliation is nones.
Nuns?
No, N-O-N-E-S.
People who believe in nothing.
That’s a terrible name.
(chuckling): Yes.
Do you know that…
churchgoing has fallen off almost 30%?
That’s why this parish is gone.
Nobody was coming.
Well, the “nones” weren’t the ones molesting children.
(chuckles)
I’m reaching the end of my life feeling like a fool.
I can’t talk to anybody about God
without them looking at me like I’m a bit dim.
Like I’ve been dropped on my head.
Socrates and Augustine would’ve been
raving nuts on the Internet these days.
“Enter by the narrow gate.
For wide is the gate that leads to destruction.”
But the wide gate looks more fun.
The wider gate has no answer for death, Father.
People try to find comfort in thinking they become
part of the universe when they die.
A billion atoms amongst a trillion trillion more?
God doesn’t think of us as atoms.
He thinks of us as who we are, not what we’re made of.
That’s why we believe.
That’s why the narrow gate.
I’m gonna miss you, Sister.
I have very little confidence…
(shushing)
(demonic hissing)
(soft clattering)
(shushing)
(mouthing)
(sniffing)
(sniffing)
(screams)
Sister? What are you doing?
What have you done with the relic?
Sister, please.
Why don’t you take a moment and calm down?
Yeah, listen to him. Calm down, bitch.
What’d I ever do to you?
Give me the relic. Then I’ll calm down.
Suck my balls.
(screams)
60. I need a room for 60.
(knocking at door)
Listen,
I’ll Venmo you the deposit in the morning.
Are you here to attack me again?
Do I need to arm myself?
DAVID: Just let me in.
I would’ve just opened the door!
(David sighs)
(door closes)
We need to talk.
Are you having doubts, Father?
You said the Entity was just as bad as the opposition.
How do you know?
Are your handlers disappearing?
They are, aren’t they?
That can mean anything.
Sure, it could, but it doesn’t.
How do you think the Church maintains its mysteries?
Merely through excommunication?
(phone chimes, vibrates)
Have you met Giovanni De Vita yet?
Why?
You’re going to need protection from them.
And you offer that?
Let’s do some horse trading, shall we?
What do you really want?
I want Kristen safe from you, forever.
Oh, David, how you misunderstand me.
I love Kristen. Not as much as you.
I just want to force her to curse God
so that I can defile her.
But if I leave Kristen alone, what do I get?
I’ll leave you alone.
No, you’ll leave the priesthood.
Go back to photography. I liked your photos.
Especially the war ones.
Quit worrying about saving other people’s souls.
None of them care about yours.
The Devil doesn’t keep bargains.
This one does.
(heavy door closes)
Have you got it?
Did he see you clone it?
No.
Got a text, I put it next to his phone.
Hmm.
I checked. It’s all there.
All the names, the time, location, date.
Very good. Very, very good.
Ah, wait. We need to debrief.
No.
I’m done. For good.
You can find someone else.
I’m sorry, David.
Doesn’t work that way.
Your reassignment has come through.
You’ve been reassigned to me…
in Rome.
Welcome…
to Vatican security.
♪
What are you gonna do with that?
Just doing a little cleaning.
I don’t know where the relic is.
I don’t, bitch.
That’s too bad.
Oh, hold on.
There’s a spot right there.
(whimpering)
I don’t fucking know!
Don’t swear.
Or I’m gonna have to wash out your mouth.
I’m sorry.
You know, there’s more than one demon here.
It’s not just me.
Somebody else took it.
I saw you coming out of another hole.
In a basement in Astoria.
Yeah, and you walled that up,
you motherfuck… (stammering)
you lady nun.
What were you doing there in that basement?
We have holes everywhere, lady.
Just like you.
(shouting)
Ow! I was joking.
Why the basement?
It’s a good congregation spot.
You know, the Antichrist slept there.
(crying): No!
Leave me alone.
There isn’t an Antichrist anymore.
You tell your friends
he’s been baptized.
That’s a good idea.
You’re so smart.
(chuckles) Let me go.
First the relic.
Look, I told you already…
No, not the Pledge.
Anything but the Pledge.
Oh, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no!
Where is it? Where’s the relic?
All right, all right, all right. All right!
I’ll tell you!
I ate it.
It’s in my stomach.
I don’t believe you.
It was the thigh bone of a saint.
How could I not eat it? (chuckles)
It’s like a wishbone.
You’re gonna have to wait all night
if you want to get it back.
Dig it out of my shit with a bunch of dead rats.
Maybe not all night.
No, no, no. No, no.
No, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No! No! (whimpering)
(shouting)
(grunts)
(Andrea chuckles)
Professor?
Sir?
Can’t you see I’m working?
Oh, it’s you.
I’ve been cranking through some new quantum formulas
about the last frontier.
Professor,
you need to get that Cerebral-path out of your head.
Why?
I think it’s why you’re acting erratically.
I think it’s killing you.
Of course it’s killing me.
Well, I’ve done some research.
There are other ways to communicate.
It’s not about communication.
It’s about expanding human thought.
It’s like nitrogen fuel for the brain.
Something programmers call demon mode.
Pure focus.
The mind in overdrive.
Look at this.
That’s from a few hours.
What does it matter if you’re dead?
When I’m dead, they take out the Cerebral-path
and upload it into the cloud,
and I live forever there.
It’s something you religious people don’t understand.
Technology has made heaven irrelevant.
I’m-I’m not religious.
Then all the more reason to live on in the cloud.
Join me there, Ben.
So you have no objections
to his joining the Pontificia Accademia?
Ben?
Sure.
I mean, he’s a genius.
And his voice box, it wasn’t hacked?
No.
He has a Cerebral-path
implanted into his head to help him to think.
Yes, it is killing him.
But it’s scientific, it is not demonic.
And he’s an asshole, too.
Okay.
Thanks for your advice.
Oh, and his Holy Father would like
to thank you
for your years of service.
Olive oil
from his own vineyards.
God bless.
Well, that was something.
So have they, uh, reassigned you yet, Father?
They have.
BEN: Oh, where?
Rome.
When did you find that out?
A few hours ago.
BEN: Oh, my God.
We’re really breaking up.
And you have no choice in this matter?
None.
When do you leave?
Four days.
Four days? That’s…
(chuckles) Why so quick?
I don’t know.
This seems, um…
mean.
Kristen.
I’m sorry.
Why? We’re just working together.
It’s… it’s totally fine.
It’s not a big deal.
(Timothy cooing)
(dance music playing)
(tapping keys)
(music volume lowers)
Ik houd van jou.
(sighs)
Oh, no, please, dinosaur, don’t eat me!
Don’t eat me! Don’t eat me! Don’t eat me!
Oh, no!
(laughing)
Now he’s going to bite your lip.
Oh, is he? Okay. He’s gonna bite my lip.
Oh! Oh, no! Oh…
Now he’s gonna…
Gonna bite your lip!
No!
(laughs)
Now, now this lip.
Yeah. Oh.
Ah. Oh, the dinosaur bit my lip.
No, no, no.
What?
This time bite my lip.
Oh, bite your lip?
Yeah.
I bite your lip?
CHILD: No, no, for real!
FATHER: Oh, for real bite your lip?
For…
♪ ♪
(door opens)
(door closes)
Are you saying goodbye?
Yes.
You, too?
I heard you’re being reassigned to Rome?
I am.
Hmm.
You?
Well, no, I think I’ve made some enemies in the hierarchy.
I’m being retired.
I’m sorry.
Where?
A silent retreat.
(laughs)
Upstate.
Sacred Trinity?
Yes.
Oh.
Yeah, we went there.
I think you’ll…
Actually… maybe you won’t like it.
It’s…
hard on sisters.
David?
Don’t let the Church pervert your talents.
Is that possible?
Yes.
The Church is a human bureaucracy.
God guides it, but he lets it fail.
How am I gonna do this without you, Sister?
I don’t know.
You haven’t been to confession yet, have you?
I’m going.
Every single time, after you help
the Entity, you go to confession.
Please.
How did you know I was helping them?
Stand up.
Turn around.
Do you carry that everywhere now?
Yes.
Lift up your shirt.
(Andrea groans)
(screeching)
I’m not gonna be there with you, David.
So go to confession.
Sin gets bigger and bigger with each infraction.
Thank you, Sister.
I’d better start packing.
47 years.
(sirens wailing in distance)
♪ Holy God, we praise thy name ♪
♪ Lord of all, we bow before thee ♪
♪ All on earth thy scepter claim ♪
♪ All in heaven above adore thee ♪
♪ Everlasting is thy reign. ♪
